Nkhanza Pamaubwenzi: Zizindikiro, Zotsatira ndi Momwe Mungapirire

Pamene munthu amene ankafuna kuti akunong'onezeko zotsekemera ayamba kukunyozani, jibe iliyonse, liwu lililonse lopweteka likhoza kupyola mu mtima mwanu ndikuphwanya mu zidutswa milioni. Komabe, kunyozana m'maubwenzi kungakhale kovuta kwambiri kuzindikira chifukwa nthawi zambiri kumawoneka ngati kunyoza ndi kunyoza zomwe zakhala zikuchitika momvetsa chisoni.

Ngakhale mukudziwa kuti ndi zowawa komanso kuti pali vuto linalake losasangalatsa pa intaneti, mwina simungazindikire nkhanza zomwe zikuseweredwa apa. Malingaliro olakwika okhudzana ndi momwe kuchitirana nkhanza m'maubwenzi kumawonekera, kuphatikizanso kuti kugawana mawu opweteka, mikangano ndi kukalipira mwa apo ndi apo si zachilendo pakati pa maanja, zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kwambiri kwa omwe amatukwanidwa muubwenzi kuvomereza zomwe akuchitiridwa.

Pofuna kudziwitsa anthu zambiri za njira imeneyi yobisika komanso yobisika, katswiri wa zamaganizo Pragati Sureka (MA mu Clinical Psychology, katswiri wodziwa bwino ntchito yake kuchokera ku Harvard Medical School), yemwe ndi katswiri pa nkhani monga kuthana ndi mkwiyo, kusiyana kwa makolo, ukwati wozunza komanso wopanda chikondi kudzera mu luso la maganizo, amalemba za nkhanza m'maubwenzi, zizindikiro zake, zotsatira zake, ndi njira zothetsera vutoli.

Kodi Kunyoza Mwamawu M'maubwenzi Ndi Chiyani?

Tikamva mawu oti nkhanza, nthawi zambiri timaganiza kuti ndi munthu mmodzi yemwe akumenya mnzake, kukuwa kapena kumutchula mayina. Izi nthawi zambiri zimabweretsa malingaliro abodza achitetezo omwe timatha kuwona zizindikiro zamwano m'maubwenzi ngati tikuzunzidwa. Komabe, mosiyana ndi nkhanza zakuthupi kapena zakugonana komwe mizere pakati pa chabwino ndi cholakwika imagawika pakati pa zakuda ndi zoyera, kutukwana m'maubwenzi kumatha kukhala kosokoneza kwambiri komanso kodzaza ndi imvi.

Zimatanthauza zambiri osati kungofuula, kunyoza, ndi kunyoza muubwenzi . Komabe, pa chiyambi chake, sizisiyana kwambiri ndi mtundu wina uliwonse wa nkhanza ndipo zimapitirira ndi cholinga chofuna kulamulira. Ndi njira yobisika komanso yochenjera yochepetsera munthu wina ndikumupangitsa kudzikayikira, kuwasiya akudzifunsa okha, akumadzifunsa ngati malingaliro ndi zochita zawo zili zolondola komanso zomwe zimayambitsa kudziimba mlandu komanso kudzimva kuti ali ndi mlandu.

Kulankhula mwachipongwe m'maubwenzi kumaphatikizapo mawu aliwonse kapena mawu omwe cholinga chake ndi kuchotsera munthu winayo. Nthawi zambiri imagwira ntchito mosiyanasiyana. Inde, kutchula mayina achipongwe, kulalata ndiponso kulankhula mawu achipongwe ndi zitsanzo za mawu achipongwe m’mabwenzi. Koma momwemonso kunyodola konyozeka, nthabwala zotanthauza chipongwe, kutembenuza maso, ndemanga zonyoza, ndi mawu onyoza monga “chilichonse”.

Kwa anthu ambiri, zimakhala zovuta kufotokoza tanthauzo lenileni la nkhanza m'maubwenzi, chifukwa limaphatikizapo makhalidwe osiyanasiyana. Ndiye, mungadziwe bwanji ngati mnzanuyo akunyoza? Kuphunzira kuzindikira zizindikiro zowopsa muubwenzi wanu kungakhale sitepe lothandiza kwambiri pankhaniyi.

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Zizindikiro za Kulankhulana Nkhanza Pamaubwenzi

Awiri omwe ndidagwira nawo ntchito yochiritsa anali kuthana ndi machitidwe achipongwe, pakati pazovuta zina. Nthawi zonse mkazi akamakonzekera kupita kwinakwake, mwamuna wake ankanena kuti, “O, ukuoneka ngati ngwazi”, mwachipongwe. Onse ankadziwa kuti iye sankatanthauza kuti ankaoneka ngati katswiri wa kanema. Zinali zoonekeratu kuti zinali njira yomufooketsa, ndipo mawu amodziwo anali okwanira kumupangitsa kudzikayikira ponena za maonekedwe ake.

Kotero, mukuona, zizindikiro za nkhanza m'maubwenzi nthawi zina zimakhala zobisika ngati mawu osasangalatsa omwe cholinga chake ndi kulunjika ku kusadzidalira kwa wozunzidwayo muubwenzi kapena kuwapangitsa kudzimva kuti ndi woipa. Izi zingapangitse kuti kuzizindikira kukhale kovuta kwambiri. Anthu ena angafunse kuti, "Kodi nkhanza m'maubwenzi ndizovomerezeka?" Kapena ngati ndi vuto lenileni lomwe liyenera kuthetsedwa.

Poganizira zowononga m'maganizo zomwe zimadza chifukwa cha nkhanza zomwe zimachitika m'maubwenzi, ndikofunikira kuzizindikira, kuvomereza zomwe zili, ndikupeza njira yozizembera, ngati sichoncho kuzichotsa kwathunthu. Zonsezo zikhoza kuchitika pokhapokha mutamvetsetsa bwino zizindikiro za mawu onyoza muubwenzi, zomwe zikuphatikizapo:

1. Kuyesera kulamulira munthu wina

Nthawi iliyonse pamene mnzawo wina agwiritsa ntchito mawu ake mwadala kuti alamulire mnzake, ndi nkhanza yoonekeratu. Kunyoza, kunyoza winayo, kudzudzula nthawi zonse, kunyoza, kuseka movutitsa mnzake komanso ngakhale kulankhula ndi thupi monga kugwedeza maso kapena kumwetulira ndi njira zomwe zimagwiritsidwa ntchito pokhazikitsa mphamvu zosafunikira muubwenzi , motero, zimakhala ngati nkhanza.

2. Kudziimba mlandu ndi chimodzi mwa zitsanzo za matukwana muubwenzi

Pamene munthu apangitsa wokondedwa wake kudzimva wolakwa pazochitikazo pamene akudziwonetsera yekha ngati wozunzidwa, ndi chimodzi mwa zitsanzo za mawu achipongwe mu maubwenzi. Cholinga apa ndikupangitsa wozunzidwayo kuti adzimvere kuti ali ndi mlandu pazolakwa zawo zenizeni kapena zomwe akuganiza, zophophonya kapena zolakwika.

Kubweretsa zolakwa zakale mkangano uliwonse kapena ndewu, kufunafuna chifundo powonetsa zopweteka chifukwa cha khalidwe la munthu winayo, kuwakumbutsa zabwino zomwe adachita m'mbuyomu, kungokhala mwaukali pouzidwa kuti 'ayi' ndi zina mwa zizolowezi zodziimba mlandu zomwe zimayenderana ndi zizindikiro za kulankhulana mwachipongwe mu maubwenzi.

3. Masewera odzudzula ndi ena mwa zizindikiro zotukwana muubwenzi

"Taonani zomwe munandipangitsa kuti ndichite" ndi chimodzi mwa zitsanzo zodziwika bwino za mawu achipongwe muubwenzi. Zikatero, anthu amene amatukwanidwa m’maubwenzi amatha kuimbidwa mlandu chifukwa cha mavuto onse amene mwamuna ndi mkazi wake akukumana nawo.

Mwachitsanzo, ngati munthu amakonda kuchita nsanje kwambiri, anganene kuti ndi chifukwa cha khalidwe la mnzake lofuna kusamala. Kapena ngati mnzanuyo akuchita zachinyengo , anganene kuti mnzakeyo sakukwaniritsa zosowa zake, zomwe zingamupangitse kuti apite kwa munthu wina. Kaya vuto ndi lotani, wozunzidwayo nthawi zonse amanenedwa kuti ndi wolakwa.

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4. Kuchita manyazi kumafanana ndi kunyozana paubwenzi

Mawu onyoza omwe cholinga chake ndi kunyoza munthu winayo ndikumupangitsa kudzidalira komanso kudzidalira amafanananso ndi mawu achipongwe muubwenzi. “Ndiwe wopanda nzeru.” “Simumagwirizana ndi aliyense.” “Simungachite chilichonse bwino.” “Ndiwe wokwiya kwambiri.” Mawu onyoza amenewa omwe cholinga chake ndi kunyoza ndi kuchititsa manyazi munthu winayo mosakayikira ndi njira yonyenga muubwenzi ndipo amafanana ndi mawu achipongwe.

5. Kuopsa koopsa ndiko mosakayikira kulankhula mawu achipongwe

Kulalata, kutchula mayina ndi kumuopseza munthu wina zonse ndi zizindikiro za kulankhula monyoza muubwenzi. Pali cholinga chimodzi chodziwikiratu apa: kufuna kulamulira winayo pomuopseza kuti adzigonjera. Mawu achipongwe akafika poopseza kuti avulaza mnzake kapena kudzivulaza, amasanduka malo oopsa kwambiri.

Ngakhale ngati sipanakhalepo chiwawa muubwenzi mpaka pano, ziwopsezozi zimatha kupangitsa mantha ake kukulira kwa wozunzidwayo, kuwapangitsa kuchita zinthu zomwe sangakhale nazo. Ziwopsezo sizimakhudza nthawi zonse zachiwawa. “Chitani monga ndanenera kapena sindikulipiriranso makalasi anu” ndi chitsanzo cha mawu achipongwe mu maubwenzi.

6. Kuunikira kwa gasi kumadziwikanso ngati kunyoza

Njira yonyenga iyi yonyenga, pomwe munthu amakana zenizeni za mnzake mwa kumupangitsa kukayikira maziko enieni a momwe amaonera, momwe akumvera, ndi momwe akumvera, ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za nkhanza m'maubwenzi. Kunyoza muubwenzi kwadziwika kwambiri ngati njira yonyoza maganizo.

Komabe, kugwiritsa ntchito mawu owunikira ngati "izi sizinachitike", "zonse zili m'mutu mwanu", "muli ndi kukumbukira koyipa", "Pepani mukuganiza kuti ndakukhumudwitsani", "mukuchita mopambanitsa" kumapanga zitsanzo zingapo zachipongwe m'maubwenzi.

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Zotsatira Za Mau Ankhanza Pamaubwenzi

Kulankhula nkhanza m'maubwenzi nthawi zambiri kumatchulidwa molakwika kuti si nkhani. Kudzudzula chifukwa cha kuchuluka kwa zonyansa za 'mwamuna ndi mkazi' kapena nthabwala zaubwenzi zomwe zasintha mwachipongwe ngati nthabwala kapena kusazindikira, anthu ambiri samawonabe mnzake akugwetsa wina - kaya pamalo awo kapena pagulu - ngati zovuta.

Mosiyana ndi lingaliro limeneli, zotsatira zamaganizo za nkhanza m'maubwenzi zimatha kuwononga mofanana ndi nkhanza zakuthupi kapena zamaganizo . Kupatula kusonyeza kusalemekezana, komwe ndi chimodzi mwa mfundo zofunika kwambiri pa ubale uliwonse wopambana, nkhanza za mawu zimawononga kudzidalira kwa wozunzidwayo ndikusintha momwe amaonera iyemwini.

Nthawi zambiri pamakhala chizolowezi chomalankhula mawu achipongwe m'maubwenzi, zomwe zimakhazikika pa cholinga chimodzi chofuna kulamulira wina. Zitha kukhala ndi zotsatirapo zofooketsa kwa ozunzidwa ndi maubwenzi. Zotsatira zochepa zomwe zimachitika chifukwa cha nkhanza m'maubwenzi ndi izi:

• Kutaya chikhulupiriro
• nkhawa
• Migraines
• Chibwibwi
• Kuthamanga kwa magazi
• kupanikizika

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Kodi Mungalimbane Bwanji ndi Mawu Onyoza Paubwenzi?

Kulankhula nkhanza m'maubwenzi kungawononge munthu amene akukuvutitsani. Popeza zotsatira zake ndi kudzikayikira komanso kudziona kuti ndinu wosafunika, kupirira njira zochitira nkhanza za mnzanuyo komanso kuika patsogolo kudziteteza nthawi zambiri kungaoneke ngati zolinga zosatheka. Kupatula apo, kunyozedwa nthawi zonse, kunyozedwa, ndi kusokonezedwa kungapangitse kuti munthu asamaganize bwino zenizeni.

Kuti mumve zambiri zamakanema akatswiri chonde lembani ku Youtube Channel yathu. Dinani apa.

Pachifukwa ichi, ozunzidwa mwamawu m'maubwenzi sangathe kukana kapena kupeza kuti sangathe kuchitapo kanthu ngakhale atavomereza kuti pali vuto. Kulimbana ndi mawu achipongwe n’kovutadi, koma n’kosathekanso. Nazi njira zingapo zomwe mungatenge kuti musinthe kusintha kwa ubale wanu kapena kuwongolera bwino:

1. Pezani malo otetezeka

Kuti mumvetsetse zomwe zikuchitidwa kwa inu ndikugwira ntchito movutikira zamanyazi, kudziimba mlandu, kunyozeka, chidaliro chosokonekera komanso kudzidalira, muyenera kupeza malo otetezeka kuti mutulutse. Kupita kuchipatala ndikugwira ntchito ndi mlangizi waluso kungapangitse kuti zikhale zosavuta kuwona momwe zinthu zilili pazochitika zanu ndikupeza njira yopita patsogolo.

Ngati mukukumana ndi mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya nkhanza m'maubwenzi, dziwani kuti vuto lanu silingathe kuwomboledwa. Anthu ambiri apindula pofunafuna thandizo m'mikhalidwe yofanana ndipo inunso mungathe. Ndi alangizi aluso komanso ovomerezeka omwe ali pagulu la Bonobology, thandizo loyenera ndi kungodina kamodzi.

2. Dzipatuleni kumalingaliro a okondedwa anu

Ozunzidwa mwamawu m'maubwenzi nthawi zambiri amakumana ndi vuto lofuna kutsimikiziridwa ndi anzawo kuti adzimve kukhala oyenera. Popeza kudzidalira kwa munthu kumaphwanyidwa moipa kwambiri m’mayanjano ankhanza oterowo, kutamandidwa kulikonse kapena chilimbikitso kungakhale kofunika kwambiri kuti munthu apulumuke.

Kuti muphwanye chitsanzo ichi, muyenera kudzipatula pamalingaliro a mnzanu pa inu. Lekani kudziteteza nthawi zonse kwa iwo kapena kupereka mafotokozedwe ndi zifukwa zomwe mwachita. Ndipo yesetsani kuti musagwere mumsampha wa "iwo akulondola, ndikulakwitsa". Yesetsani kudzitsimikizira nokha kuti pang'onopang'ono mumangenso kudzidalira kwanu, ndipo panthawiyi, musalole kuti mawu a mnzanuyo akukhudzeni.

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3. Tchulani khalidwe lachipongwe

Kutchula machitidwe a ozunza ndi machitidwe ovuta kungakhale njira yabwino yowayikira. Komabe, ndiyenera kutsindika kuti izi ziyenera kuchitidwa mosamala. Ngati muli ndi thanzi labwino, mutha kuganiza zolankhula ndi okondedwa wanu ndikuwadziwitsa momwe kusankha kwawo mawu nthawi zina kumakupangitsani kudzimva nokha.

Pali mwayi woti mwina anali kuchita khalidwe lotere popanda kuganizira zotsatira zake ndipo mnzanuyo angapepese ndikulonjeza kuti ayesetsa kuthetsa zizolowezi zawo zochitira nkhanza. Komabe, ngati ndi ubale woipa , kukana kulikonse kungayambitse kukulirakulira kwa nkhanza kapena kuopseza. Ngati zili choncho, kuyitana mnzanu wochitira nkhanza sikungakhale njira yabwino kwambiri yothetsera vutoli.

4. Gwiritsirani ntchito matupi odzilimbikitsa

Sikuti nthawi zonse muyenera kugwiritsa ntchito mawu anu kufalitsa zinthu zowopseza kapena zovuta. Ngati mukuwona kuti mnzanuyo sangayankhe mokoma mtima pamene akuitanidwa, gwiritsani ntchito mawu olimbikitsa kuti muchepetse vuto lachipongwe.

Kulankhula mobisa mawu, mwachitsanzo, kungawasonyeze kuti simuchita nawo chibwenzi. Mofananamo, kugwiritsira ntchito liwu lofewa kapena kulankhula pang’onopang’ono kuti mufotokoze mfundo yanu pamene winayo akukukalirani kapena kunena mawu achipongwe kungakhale njira yabwino yothanirana ndi kutukwana m’mabwenzi.

5. Osangoyika malire, koma khazikitsani malire

Chimodzi mwa zinthu zofunika kwambiri pothana ndi nkhanza za mawu ndi kukhazikitsa malire omveka bwino omwe angasonyeze mnzanuyo kuti simungapirire khalidwe lake. Izi zingaphatikizepo kuchoka pamene akukweza mawu awo pa nthawi ya mkangano kapena kumuuza kuti “Sindikuyamikira izi” akamakusekani nthabwala kuti akunyozeni.

Komabe, kuyika malire ndikofunikira kwambiri kuposa kuwayika. Onetsetsani kuti mubwereze malire anu kwa mnzanu nthawi iliyonse akadutsa mzere ndi inu. Chotsani, chotsani, bwerezani malinga ngati ziwatengera kuti amvetse zomwe zili zovomerezeka ndi zomwe siziri.

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6. Ikani ndalama podzisamalira

Ozunzidwa mwamawu m'maubwenzi nthawi zambiri amavutika ndi chifunga cha ubongo chifukwa chouzidwa mobwerezabwereza kuti si abwino kapena opanda pake. Kunyozedwa, kutsutsidwa, kuwongolera kungawapangitse kukayikira liwu lawo la kulingalira.
Kuti muthane ndi izi, muyenera kuyika ndalama muzochita zodzisamalira. Kuchokera pakuchita zinthu mwanzeru mpaka kusinkhasinkha, kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi nthawi zonse, kudya zakudya zopatsa thanzi komanso kuthirira bwino, tsatirani miyambo yaying'ono yomwe imakuthandizani kuti malingaliro anu azikhala bwino.

Kunyoza mawu muubwenzi sikungaonedwe ngati kuvulaza thupi, maganizo kapena kugonana , koma ndi zoona. Kuyesa kulikonse kofuna kukana munthu kuti asachite zimenezo kumabweretsa mavuto aakulu a maganizo. Tsopano popeza mwamvetsa zizindikiro, zotsatira zake ndi mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya nkhanza muubwenzi, musamasiye kunyalanyaza zizindikiro zofiira ngati mukuziona muubwenzi wanu wapamtima. Chitanipo kanthu patsogolo kuti mudziteteze nokha ndikuyamba njira yochiritsira.

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.