Kodi Narcissists Amatha Kukondana?

Kodi narcissists amatha kukondana? Ili ndi funso lomwe limalemera m'malingaliro a anthu ambiri omwe apirira machitidwe achikondi a narcissistic of idealization, devaluation, kutaya, and hoovering. Ngati inunso mukulimbana nazo, dziwani kuti simuli nokha.

Timamvetsetsa momwe ubale ndi narcissist ungakhalire wodetsa nkhawa komanso wosokoneza. Ndipo zingakulepheretseni kukhulupirira kuti munthu amene akuyambitsa chisokonezo chonsechi m’moyo wanu sangakhale wokhoza kukukondani. Komabe, zoona zake, munthu wa narcissist amatha kukonda wina koma malingaliro ake amakhala osakhalitsa komanso owoneka bwino.

Kodi “zosakhalitsa ndi zachiphamaso” zimatanthauza chiyani? Kodi zimatanthawuza bwanji khalidwe lawo mu chiyanjano? Kuti tikuthandizeni kupeza mayankho, tiyeni tiwone mozama za zovuta za narcissist m'chikondi pokambirana ndi katswiri wazamisala waku California komanso Cognitive Behavior Therapist. Dr. Shefali Batra (MD in psychiatry), yemwe amagwira ntchito yopereka upangiri wa kupatukana ndi kusudzulana, kutha kwa chibwenzi ndi chibwenzi, komanso zovuta zofananira musanalowe m'banja. Koma choyamba, tiyeni tionetsetse kuti mukumvetsa amene narcissist kwenikweni.

Kodi Narcissist Ndi Ndani?

Mawu akuti narcissist nthawi zambiri amaponyedwa mozungulira kuti afotokoze aliyense yemwe ali ndi chidwi chofuna kusangalatsidwa ndi chidwi, komanso mtima wodzikonda. Komabe, si aliyense amene amasangalala ndi zochulukirapo kuposa momwe amadzikondera okha ndi munthu wokonda narcissist.

Lingaliro lina lolakwika ndiloti kuwonetsa khalidwe la narcissistic ndilofanana ndi kukhala ndi vuto la umunthu wa narcissistic (NPD). Komabe, zimenezonso n’zatali ndi choonadi. Narcissism ilipo pa sipekitiramu ndipo anthu okhawo omwe ali kumapeto kwenikweni kwamtunduwu ndi omwe amawonedwa kuti ali ndi vuto la umunthu wa narcissistic.

Malinga ndi Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, kope lachisanu (DSM-5), munthu angathe kuzindikiridwa ndi NDP ngati ali ndi makhalidwe asanu kapena kuposerapo mwa zotsatirazi:

• Kudzikuza kudziona kukhala wofunika
• Mawonetseredwe a grandiosity
• Makhalidwe ndi khalidwe lodzikuza
• Kusirira ena
• Kupanda chifundo
• Kudyera masuku pamutu ena kuti apindule
• Kutanganidwa ndi zongopeka za mphamvu zopanda malire, luntha, kukongola, kapena kupambana
• Kufunika kosilira
• Kudzimva kuti ndinu woyenera

Dr. Batra anati: “Narcissism imadziwika ndi kusadziona ngati munthu wofunika, kudziona kuti ndiwe wosafunika, komanso kusadziona kuti ndiwe weni ndipo kumapangitsa kuti munthu asamaganize bwino, zomwe zimaoneka ngati munthu wongoganizira za iye mwini, wosamvera chisoni komanso wongofuna kuti azichita zinthu.”

Kusiyanaku ndikofunikira chifukwa malinga ndi US-centric kafukufuku, 0.5% -5% yokha ya akuluakulu omwe ali ndi NPD. Ngati munthu ali ndi zizolowezi zingapo zamatsenga, amathabe kukhala ndi chikondi ndi kusonyeza chikondi monga momwe munthu wina aliyense angachitire. Ndipo ngati muli ndi munthu woteroyo, simungakhale mukufunsa kuti, “Kodi munthu wankhalwe angathe kukondana?”

Zedi, pakhoza kukhala zovuta zina za ubale panjira. “Komabe, mikhalidwe imeneyi mwa anthu amene ali m’munsi mwa narcissism sipekitiramu yofatsa kwambiri moti sangakhudze luso lawo lokonda munthu wina.” Komano, mikhalidwe ya NPD imalepheretsa munthu kukonda wina, makamaka m’njira imene anthu ambiri amamvetsetsa chikondi,” Dr. Batra akuwonjezera motero.

Tsopano popeza takonza izi, tiyeni tikuthandizeni kuyankha mafunso ena ochepa omwe angakuthandizeni kuthana ndi vuto lanu: Kodi anthu okonda kumwa mowa mwauchidakwa amatha kukonda? Kodi narcissist amasonyeza bwanji chikondi?

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Momwe Mungadziwire Ngati Narcissist Amakukondani

Narcissism ndi chikondi siziyenderana bwino. Zowonadi, wamatsenga, wokongola komanso wachikoka momwe aliri, akhoza kukuchotsani pamapazi anu ndi manja awo akulu ndi ziwonetsero zachikondi. Panthawi imeneyo, mafunso ngati okonda narcissists ndi okondana kapena momwe munthu wamatsenga amasonyezera chikondi sangapite m'maganizo mwanu chifukwa munthu amene ali patsogolo panu amamva bwino kwambiri.

Komabe, momwe machitidwe achikondi a narcissistic amapita, gawo ili - lodziwika kuti idealization komanso yodziwika bwino kuphulitsa kwachikondi - nthawi zambiri imakhala yochepa komanso imagwira ntchito (malinga ndi momwe zimakhalira bwino komanso kwautali wotani zomwe zimawathandizira kufunikira kwawo kwa narcissistic). Chifukwa cha izi, amavutika kukhalabe ndi ubale wabwino m'miyoyo yawo kapena malingaliro enieni a munthu wina.

Mfundo yake ndi yakuti, sikochitika kuti munthu wokonda narcissist ayambe kukondana mpaka kalekale. Chifukwa chake, ngati mukuganiza kuti mungadziwe bwanji ngati narcissist amakukondani, dzifunseni:

• Kodi amalingalira zosoŵa zanu ndi malingaliro anu?
• Kodi amakuchitirani ulemu?
• Kodi amatenga udindo pazochita zawo?
• Kodi angayamikireni?
• Kodi amalemekeza malire anu mu chiyanjano?
• Kodi amayamikira maganizo anu ndi maganizo anu?
• Ndipo chofunika kwambiri, kodi amatha kuika zosowa zanu patsogolo ngakhale pamene sangapindule chilichonse?

Ngati mwayankha mafunso awa motsimikiza, muli ndi narcissist m'chikondi ndi inu. Komabe, Dr. Batra anachenjeza kuti: “Mpata woti zimenezi zichitike n’ngochepa kwambiri nthaŵi zambiri chifukwa munthu wosuta sangakonde pokhapokha ngati ali wokonzeka kuyesetsa kukonza khalidwe lawo ndi mmene amaganizira.” Zimenezi zimafuna kudziganizira mozama komanso kudzifufuza, zomwe zingakhale zochititsa mantha komanso zochititsa mantha kwa wosuta.”

Nthawi zambiri, narcissist amatha kuthamangitsa scapegoat, kuyatsa gasi, ndi machenjerero ena m'malo mochita ntchito yamkati kuti asiyane ndi machitidwe awo.

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Kodi Narcissists Amatha Kukondana?

Kodi narcissists amatha kukondana? Ili litha kukhala funso lovuta kuthana nalo chifukwa chikondi cha narcissistic nthawi zambiri chimakhala chodzikonda, monganso mbali ina iliyonse ya moyo wawo, komanso chotalikirana ndi malingaliro okhudzana ndi kulumikizana kofunikira. maubale abwino kuti ena amayanjana ndi chikondi.

Dr. Batra akufotokoza kuti, “Vuto loti anthu okondana narciss kukhala okhoza chikondi limachokera ku chenicheni chakuti chikho chawo cha chikondi chopereka chadzaza kale.” Amadzikonda okha.

"Ngati mukuwona kuchokera ku chisinthiko kudzikonda kwawo kuli koyenera chifukwa sanachipeze kwa wina aliyense. Koma m'dziko lenileni, ndizosamveka, zosavomerezeka, ndi zosokoneza kwenikweni. Choncho amatembenukira kwa iwo omwe amawasamalira - ndichifukwa chake amamvera chisoni ndi narcisists nthawi zambiri amakopeka wina ndi mnzake - koma ubalewu ndi wongotengerana osati chikondi chenicheni chomwe mumawona kwina.

"Adzawasamalira komanso kuwasamalira, koma nthawi yomwe munthu wokondedwayu amawatsutsa kapena osadzipatsa ulemu, amawakana ndipo amamva chisoni mkati mwake." Chifukwa chake, kuti muyankhe funso lanu - kodi munthu wokonda narcissistic amatha kukonda? - osati m'lingaliro lenileni la mawuwo. Dr. Batra akutchula zifukwa zomwe munthu wamatsenga sangathe kukonda munthu wina ndi mtima wonse:

• Sasamala kapena kumva kuti ali pafupi ndi aliyense chifukwa ubongo wawo sunakonzekere kutero
• Sangayang'ane kupyola pa zosowa zawo
• Amakhala ndi chibadwa chodzitetezera kwambiri kotero kuti kusamala kwawo komanso kukhudzidwa kwawo pakukanidwa kumawapangitsa kukhala opupuluma.
• Zitsanzo zosatetezedwa zamkati zogwirira ntchito zimawapangitsa kudziwona ngati osayenera kapena osafunika
• Pathologically kukhala wovuta muzochitika zomwe sizili pakati pa chidwi

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“Ngati pali munthu wina amene amakukondani, kapena akudzinenera kukhala, kuti aone ngati mmene akumvera ndi zoona, muyenera kungoyang’ana kupyola pa mawu awo—omwe ali ndi njira yawo—ndi kuwona mmene amakuchitirani.

Pamapeto pake, zimatengera mfundo yakuti munthu wamatsenga amatha kukonda munthu wina koma sichingakhale chikondi chenicheni, chopanda malire chomwe mungayembekezere muubwenzi wapamtima. Sangakonde munthu moona mtima.

Kodi narcissist amaganiza kuti chikondi ndi chiyani?

Monga tidanenera, narcissist amatha kukonda mwaukadaulo koma lingaliro lawo la momwe chikondi chimamverera likhoza kusokonekera. Dr. Batra anati: “Chikondi chopanda chinyengo n’chopanda lingaliro la kubwezerana.

Ngati mukudabwa kuti, “Kodi munthu wa narcissist angakonde?”, dziwani kuti zomwe amaziona ngati chikondi zimayenderana ndi machitidwe awo osowa chidwi, kudzikuza, komanso kusilira. Chikondi cha narcissist, pamapeto pake, chimafika ku:

• Kudziona kuti n'ngoyenerera kumene kumawachititsa kuganiza kuti ayenera kuwakonda
• Kufunika kosilira kopanda malire kuchokera kwa anzawo
• Ziwonetsero zazikulu za chikondi ndi mawonetseredwe a chikondi chosatha popanda kugwirizana kulikonse
• Chisangalalo chosangalatsa chomwe chimawapangitsa kudzimva bwino

Izi zimabweretsa chigwirizano chachiphamaso chomwe nthawi zambiri chimatsegulira njira ya mbali imodzi ndi poizoni wamphamvu pamene ubale ukupita patsogolo.

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Kodi narcissist amasonyeza bwanji chikondi?

Kodi narcissists ndi okondana? Inde, munthu wokondana narcissist angakhale wachikondi kwambiri, wokongola, wochotsera zida, ndi wachikondi, makamaka kumayambiriro kwa chibwenzi. Koma kodi munthu wokonda narcissism amatha kukondana? Ndikuganiza, pofika pano, mukudziwa kuti yankho la funsoli ndi lomveka, lomveka ayi - osachepera, bola ngati mukuwona kumvetsetsa kwawo ndi kusonyeza chikondi kuchokera ku momwe chikondi chikuwonekera mu ubale wathanzi.

Ndikofunikira kudziwa kugwirizana kumeneku pakati pa narcissism ndi chikondi kuti tisatengeke ndi momwe munthu wamatsenga amasonyezera chikondi. Malinga ndi Dr. Batra, izi zikuphatikizapo:

• Kutengeka ndi kufunikira kokondedwa ndi kuyamikiridwa ndi abwenzi awo okondana
• Kuwongolera mwachikondi kudzera mu zionetsero zazikulu za chikondi
• Chikondi-kuphulitsa anzawo
• Kuwasesa pamapazi awo ndi mphatso ndi ziyamiko
• Nthawi zonse lankhulani zinthu zoyenera pa nthawi yoyenera kuti mukope ndikuchotsa zida

Izi zimabweretsa ubale wokhudzidwa kwambiri womwe ungakhale wovuta kuusunga, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti pakhale kukwezeka kwambiri komanso kutsika. A phunziro lofalitsidwa mu Journal of Personality and Social Psychology likusonyeza kuti ichi ndi chifukwa chake narcissists amalephera kwa nthawi yayitali, ochita zibwenzi koma amatha kuchita bwino pachibwenzi kwakanthawi kochepa.

Zoyenera Kuchita Ngati Mukukondana Ndi Narcissist

Kuti kukhala ndi narcissist ndipo kukhala wokondwa kuli ngati kuyesa kudzaza chidebe ndi dzenje lalikulu pansi. Ngati muli m'chikondi ndi narcissist, kudziteteza kuyenera kukhala patsogolo panu ndipo izi zimayamba ndikumvetsetsa kuti chikondi chenicheni si chodzikonda, chodyera masuku pamutu, kaduka, kapena kudzitamandira. Koma mukakhala paubwenzi ndi narcissist, ndizomwe mumapeza mu dzina lachikondi. Wodzazidwa ndi poizoni, sewero, ndi zoopsa. Chifukwa pamene narcissist amadziwa kuti mumamukonda, ndicho chifukwa chake amakumasulani malingaliro awo oipa.

Mutha kudzipeza nokha mukuyatsidwa ndi gasi, kuphulitsa kwachikondi, kupusitsa, komanso ngakhale kuzunzidwa. Ngati zinthu zafika poipa kwambiri, muyenera kupempha thandizo.

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Komabe, ngati mwawona zizolowezi za mnzanuyo mutangoyamba kumene, pali njira zoyendetsera ubalewo ndikuchepetsa kupwetekedwa mtima komwe kungakubweretsereni. Ngakhale kuti sizingakhale zenizeni kuyembekezera kuti mutha kukhala ndi munthu wamatsenga ndikukhala osangalala, njira zotsatirazi zingakuthandizeni kudziteteza:

• Khazikitsani malire: Ndikofunikira kukhazikitsa ndikukhazikitsa malire a ubale wabwino pamene muli pachibwenzi ndi narcissist. Ngati zitachitika msanga, izi zitha kukuthandizani kwambiri kukutetezani ku nkhanza zachipongwe
• Yesetsani kudzisamalira: Osataya mtima paubwenzi. Kufunika kwa okondedwa wanu kumusirira, chidwi, ndi kukondedwa ndi dzenje lopanda malire. Muyenera kukonzanso nthawi ndi nthawi, kupendanso zomwe mumayika patsogolo, ndikuganiziranso za inu nokha
• Dziphunzitseni: Kudziwa ndi kuzindikira zomwe mukukumana nazo ndi njira yabwino yothanirana nazo bwino. Phunzirani momwe mungathere za vuto la umunthu wa narcissistic ndi zotsatira zake pa maubwenzi. Izi zidzakukonzekeretsani kuthana ndi zovuta zaubwenzi zikayamba
• Funsani uphungu: Kuvutika maganizo ndi kupwetekedwa mtima kokhala m'chikondi ndi narcissist kungakhale kwakukulu. Therapy imapereka malo otetezeka kuti mufufuze zambiri zosokoneza zomwe mungakhale mukulimbana nazo ndikuzikonza. Njirayi ingakhale yopindulitsa kwambiri pozindikira zomwe zikukuyambitsani, kukulitsa luso lothana ndi vuto, ndikupeza zomwe mukufuna nokha.
• Limbikitsani wokondedwa wanu kuti akuthandizeni: NPD ndi vuto lalikulu laumoyo lomwe limafunikira chithandizo choyenera ndi chithandizo. Komabe, anthu amene ali ndi vuto limeneli nthawi zambiri safuna kupempha thandizo chifukwa sali okonzeka kuvomereza kuti chinachake chalakwika ndi iwo. Ngakhale simungathe kupangitsa wokondedwa wanu kupeza chithandizo chomwe akufunikira, zingakhale zothandiza kumulimbikitsa kuti apeze izi mwa kusintha malingaliro awa kwa iwo.

Zonsezi, narcissism ndi chikondi sizigwirizana. Ngati mudabwera kuno mukuyembekeza yankho lina la "Kodi anthu okonda zamatsenga amatha kukondana", pepani kuti ndakukhumudwitsani. Koma kutsegula maso anu kuti muwone zenizeni za momwe zinthu zilili ndikofunikira kwambiri kuti muthane nazo momwe mungathere. Ndipo ndicho chimene ife tadzera pano. Kukuthandizani kupeza mayankho ndi njira yopitira patsogolo ngakhale pazovuta kwambiri m'moyo.

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