Zizindikiro 13 Za Ubale Wotentha Ndi Wozizira & Momwe Mungaswere Chitsanzo

Kukhala paubwenzi wotentha ndi wozizira kumayamwa, njira zisanu ndi imodzi mpaka Lamlungu. Kodi ndikudziwa bwanji zimenezo? Ndinali kumeneko. Ndinawononga zaka zisanu ndi ziwiri zabwino za moyo wanga ndikudikirira mwamuna yemwe ndidasangalatsidwa naye kuti ndikhale naye, kufuna ubale, kumanga china chake chokhalitsa komanso chatanthauzo ndi ine ndikungozindikira kuti sizichitika. Kusamveranso malingaliro anu ndizovuta monga momwe zilili koma kutentha ndi kuzizira kumapangitsa kuti kuwombako kuipire kwambiri. 

Tangoganizani ngati munthu uyu akanandiyang'ana, nati, "Sindikumva chimodzimodzi za inu." kapena “Sindikuyang’ana kalikonse kowopsa.” Zedi, ndikanasweka mtima. Kugudubuzika pang'ono. Koma ndikadadzichotsapo fumbi ndikusuntha mwachangu kuposa momwe ndidachitira. M’malomwake, iye ankangokhalira kutulukira ndi kutuluka m’moyo wanga, mwakuthupi ndi m’maganizo. Kundichotsa pamapazi anga ndikupangitsa mtima wanga kusungunuka ndi kukambirana mozama komanso zachikondi mpaka kukhala kutali komanso kusapezeka ndikabweza kapena kuchitenga ngati chizindikiro kuti "ubale" ukupita patsogolo. 

O, the emotional rollercoaster masewera otentha ndi ozizira amakupangitsani inu. Mwadzazidwa ndi chiyembekezo, kenako kukhumudwa ndi kutaya mtima. Mwakwiyitsidwa ndi kupwetekedwa mtima. Mwakwiyitsidwa ndipo mwathedwa nzeru. Mukangodziuza nokha, "Ayi," kuzungulira kumayambanso. Ngati izo zikumveka bwino, ine ndikupemphani inu kulabadira zizindikiro za kutentha ndi ozizira ubwenzi ine zatsala pang'ono kulemba ndi kuphunzira kumasula nokha cyclic maganizo chipwirikiti.   

Kodi Ubale Wotentha Ndi Wozizira Ndi Chiyani?

Monga momwe mwasonkhana tsopano, ubale wotentha ndi wozizira ndi pamene wina amasinthana pakati pa chikondi ndi kudzipatula, kupanga chiwongoladzanja chamaganizo kwa winayo. Kusagwirizana kumeneku kungakhale kosokoneza komanso kusokoneza maganizo, monga mphindi imodzi, mnzanuyo angakhale wofunda, wachikondi, ndi wotanganidwa kwambiri, ndipo chotsatira, akhoza kukhala kutali, kusokoneza, kapena ngakhale kusasamala. 

Mwachitsanzo, mnzawo atha kuonetsa chidwi ndi manja achikondi kwa ena kwamasiku kapena milungu ingapo kenako n'kusiya kuyankha mameseji mwadzidzidzi kapena kusonyeza kusalabadira popanda kufotokoza. Katswiri wodziwika bwino wa maubwenzi Dr. John Gottman anafotokoza kuti: “Kusemphana maganizo kumayambitsa kusatetezeka m’maubwenzi, kumapangitsa kukhala kovuta kwa okwatirana kukhulupirirana ndi kukhala osungika m’maganizo.” 

Kukankhira ndi kukoka kumeneku nthawi zambiri kumapangitsa kuti mnzake wokhudzidwayo amve nkhawa, wosatetezeka komanso wofunitsitsa kuti atsimikizidwe. Katswiri wa zamaganizo Dr. Lisa Firestone anafotokoza kuti: “Kulimbikitsana kwapanthaŵi ndi nthaŵi—pamene chikondi chikaperekedwa mosadziŵika—kungachititse kuti muyambe kukondana kwambiri, kungachititse kuti zikhale zovuta kusiya chibwenzicho mosasamala kanthu za kuipa kwake.” 

Chitsanzo chabwino cha ubale wotentha ndi wozizira chikuwoneka mwa maanja omwe amasudzulana ndi kuyanjananso popanda kuthetsa mavuto akuluakulu omwe amachititsa kuti asakhazikike. Ngakhale kuti khalidwe lotentha ndi lozizira lingakhale losafuna ndipo nthawi zambiri limachokera ku mavuto a munthu, sizimapangitsa kuti zikhale zosavuta kupirira. Nthawi iliyonse mukalola kuti mukumane ndi mavuto a ubwenzi ndi mtunda, zimawononga kudzidalira kwanu ndikuwononga thanzi lanu la maganizo.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zizindikiro 11 Zosonyeza Kuti Muli Paubwenzi Wovuta

Psychology yotentha komanso yozizira

Kulimbana ndi khalidwe lotentha ndi lozizira kuchokera kwa wokondedwa kapena woyembekezera kungakhale kosavuta mukangomvetsetsa kumene kukuchokera ndikukulitsa kuzindikira za njira zonse zomwe zimakukhudzani. Tiyeni tiwone mwatsatanetsatane zamakhalidwe otentha ndi ozizira kuti akuthandizeni kumvetsetsa chifukwa chake munthu yemwe mumamukonda samagwirizana kwambiri ndi zomwe amachita kwa inu komanso zovuta zomwe zimakubweretserani psyche yanu: 

• Kuwonjezeka kwapakati: Masewera otentha komanso ozizira amatha kukhala kwa zaka, nthawi zina ngakhale moyo wonse, chifukwa kusayembekezeka kwachikondi kumapangitsa kuti munthu azikondana kwambiri, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti wolandirayo azilakalaka kutsimikiziridwa.
• Matayilo ophatikizika: Kutentha ndi kuzizira nthawi zambiri kumalumikizidwa ndi kupewa kapena masitayelo oda nkhawa-kumene ozemba amachoka, pamene abwenzi akuthamangitsa
• Kulamulira ndi mphamvu: Kukankhira-kukoka mphamvu kumapatsa wokondana nawo kutentha ndi kuzizira, kupangitsa winayo kukhala wotanganidwa. Izi zimabweretsa kusalinganika kwamphamvu mu ubale - muli pachifundo chawo ndipo akupitiliza kuwongolera nkhaniyo. 
• Kusapezeka kwamalingaliro: Munthu wotentha komanso wozizira akhoza kukhala wosapezeka m'maganizo chifukwa choopa ubwenzi. Panthawi imodzimodziyo, amaopa kutaya mnzawo. Izi zimawapangitsa kusinthasintha pakati pa kufuna kukhala pafupi ndi kufunikira mtunda
• Kuwongolera kotentha ndi kozizira: Kaya ndi mwadala kapena mwangozi, kusinthasintha kwa chikondi cha mnzanu pa inu kungathe kuwononga kudzidalira kwanu ndi kudziona kuti ndinu wofunika, kukupangitsani kukayikira phindu lanu.
• Zovulala zam'mbuyomu: Mabala amalingaliro osathetsedwa monga kunyalanyazidwa paubwana, kusweka mtima kwam'mbuyo ndizomwe zimayambitsa kusagwirizana m'maubwenzi.
• Nkhani zodzipereka: Anthu ena amagwiritsa ntchito njira zotentha komanso zoziziritsa kukhosi kuti apewe kugwirizana kwambiri pamene akusunga bwenzi lawo

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Kuphwanya Buledi Ndi Chiyani Pa Chibwenzi? Zizindikiro Ndi Momwe Mungayankhire

Zizindikiro 13 Zomwe Mukuchita Ndi Makhalidwe Otentha Ndi Ozizira Paubwenzi Wanu

Ngati mnzanuyo wakhala wosagwirizana ndi khalidwe lawo ndi inu, mumadziwa m'matumbo anu kuti chinachake chazimitsidwa ngakhale simukudziwa kuti ubale wotentha ndi wozizira ndi chiyani. Koma kodi khalidwe lawo limagwirizana ndi kuwomba kotentha kapena kuzizira kapena ndi nkhani yongoyembekezera zolakwika kapena kusakhala pa tsamba lomwelo za ubalewo? Tiyeni tiwone zizindikiro 13 zapamwamba kwambiri zamakhalidwe otentha ndi ozizira kuti zikuthandizeni kudziwa ngati ndi zomwe mukukumana nazo: 

1. Amakupatsirani chidwi, kenako amachoka mwadzidzidzi

Malingana ndi zitsanzo zamakhalidwe otentha ndi ozizira, iyi ndi yachikale. Tsiku lina, wokondedwa wanu akukutumizirani mameseji osayimitsa, ndikupanga manja akulu achikondi, ndikukupangitsani kumva ngati pakati pa dziko lawo. Chotsatira, savomereza kuti mulipo. Kukondana kwambiri kumeneku kotsatiridwa ndi kusiya mwadzidzidzi kumakupangitsani kukhala wosasunthika, ndikumakayikira nthawi zonse zomwe munalakwitsa. Umu ndi momwe zingasewere: 

• Wokondedwa wanu akukonzekera kuthawa kumapeto kwa sabata ndikukupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu apadera, koma mudzasowa sabata yotsatira popanda kufotokoza
• Amakupatsirani mameseji abwino am'mawa ndi mauthenga okoma, kenako amakhala chete kwa masiku
• Amayambitsa makambitsirano akuya ndi kukambirana za tsogolo limodzi, koma mukabwezerana, mwadzidzidzi amakhala kutali

Pofotokoza chifukwa chake kusokonezana koteroko kumawononga, katswiri wa maubwenzi Dr. Gary Brown akufotokoza kuti, "Pamene chikondi chiperekedwa mosasinthasintha, chimapanga mphamvu yokoka yomwe imasiya mnzanu m'modzi akuda nkhawa ndipo winayo akulamulira."

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zizindikiro 11 Zosonyeza Kuti Ndinu Osakwatiwa Mu Ubwenzi

2. Maganizo awo ndi amene amachititsa kuti agwirizane

N’chifukwa chiyani iye ndi wotentha komanso wozizira kwa ine? N’chifukwa chiyani khalidwe lake silikudziwika bwino? Kulimbana ndi mafunso awa okhudza mnzanuyo, palokha, ndi chizindikiro chakuti muli paubwenzi wotentha komanso wozizira. Chifukwa chachikulu n’chakuti chikondi chawo muubwenziwo chimadalira momwe akumvera. Akakhala ndi maganizo abwino, amakondana komanso amasamala, koma akamavutika maganizo kapena kusokonezedwa, amakunyalanyazani kotheratu. Mwachitsanzo,

• Ngati anali ndi tsiku labwino kuntchito, ali achikondi; ngati anali ndi tsiku loipa, amakhala ozizira komanso akutali
• Amakhala okondwa kupanga mapulani koma ngati china chake chawakwiyitsa, mwadzidzidzi amasiya
• Amasinthana pakati pa kukambirana ndi kuyankha limodzi liwu limodzi popanda kufotokoza

3. Mumayenda pazigoba za mazira kuzungulira iwo

Mnzanu wotentha komanso wozizira amakusiyani mukuyenda pa zipolopolo za mazira zomwe zili pafupi naye chifukwa kusatsimikizika kwa khalidwe lawo nthawi zonse kumakupangitsani kukhala ndi nkhawa. Zimapangitsa kuti mukhale ndi nkhawa kwambiri, pomwe mumaganizira mozama chilichonse chomwe mumanena ndi kuchita, poopa kuti kulakwitsa kamodzi kokha kungawachotse.

Emily, wazaka 28, akusimba zimene zinam’chitikira: “Sindinkadziŵa mtundu wa chibwenzi changa chimene ndingatenge.” Masiku ena, iye anali wokoma mtima ndiponso wotchera khutu. 

“Popeza sindinkadziŵa chimene chinachititsa kuti khalidwe lake lisinthike (nthawi zonse ankakana kundifunsa kuti ndimangoganiza mopambanitsa” kapena kuchita zinthu mopambanitsa), nthaŵi zonse ndinkayesetsa kupeŵa kunena kapena kuchita zinthu zolakwika. Zinali zotopetsa kwambiri, ndimangomva ngati nthawi zonse ndikuthamanga ndi utsi. Pamene tinasiyana, ndinamva mpumulo, osati kupweteka kapena kusweka mtima.”

4. Zimasowa ndi kuwonekeranso popanda kufotokoza

Ichi chinali chitsanzo ndi mnyamata amene ndinali naye. Chomwe chinapangitsa kuti chikhale choipitsitsa chinali chakuti kugwa ndi kutuluka kwa kukhalapo kwake m'moyo wanga nthawi zonse kumazungulira ife kukhala apamtima, kugonana ndi maganizo. Zinthu zikanayenda bwino, ndiyeno tinkasonkhana. Kugonana kwakukulu ndikucheza maola ambiri. Titatsanzikana, sindinkadziwa kuti nditi ndidzamva liti—kutha kukhala maola angapo, mwina milungu. Nthawi yayitali kwambiri yomwe adandichitira chipongwe inali miyezi inayi. 

Inde, 4! Miyezi inayi osadziwa komwe mnzanu wanuyo ali kapena chifukwa chake sakulankhula nanu. Choyipa kwambiri pa zonsezi ndichakuti adabweranso atandigwira ngati kuti palibe chomwe chachitika, akuyembekezera kuti ndipitirize pomwe tidasiyira.

Dr. Lisa Firestone akufotokoza kuti uku ndi kuchita zinthu mwaukali komanso kozizira, ndipo akufotokoza kuti, “Kusasinthasintha maganizo kwamtundu umenewu kungachititse kuti munthu azikondana kwambiri moti mwamuna kapena mkazi wakeyo amalakalaka kuti chibwenzicho chibwererenso n’kukhalabe wokhazikika muubwenzi, ngakhale zitakhala kuti sizili bwino.”

5. Akunena chinthu koma amachita china

Kusagwirizana pakati pa mawu ndi zochita ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zosatsutsika za khalidwe lotentha ndi lozizira. Iwo amakulonjezani inu mwezi ndi nyenyezi, ndi chirichonse chapakati, koma kwenikweni, inu simungakhoze ngakhale kudalira pa iwo kuwonekera pamene iwo ananena. Kusalinganiza kumeneku kumakuchititsani kusokonezeka ponena za zolinga zawo zenizeni. Mwachitsanzo, 

• Amati akukusowani koma sayesetsa kukuwonani
• Amalankhula za kudzipereka koma amapewa kuchita chilichonse 
• Amalonjeza kusintha pambuyo pa mkangano uliwonse kapena ndewu koma osatsatira

Izi ndi zomwe Jake, wazaka 32, wopanga zithunzi, adakumana nazo muubwenzi wake wapitawu. Akukumbukira kuti, "Mnzanga wakale, Mandy, nthawi zonse ankati amaona ubale wathu ngati wa nthawi yayitali , koma zochita zake zinkafotokoza nkhani yosiyana. Sabata ina, ankalankhula za kusamukira limodzi, ndipo yotsatira, ankanyalanyaza mafoni anga. Zinali zotopetsa."

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6. Amakhala kutali pambuyo pa chibwenzi

Monga ndanenera, kupitirizabe kukhala kutali ndi mnzanu amene ndimakonda kwambiri kugonana naye. Zikuoneka kuti, ndi mmene zimakhalira paubwenzi wotentha komanso wozizira. Pambuyo pokambirana chilichonse chomwe chimalimbikitsa kugwirizana kwakuya kwa maganizo—kaya kudzera mu zokambirana kapena kukondana—mnzanuyo adzachoka, akuchita ngati kuti palibe chomwe chachitika. Mwachitsanzo,

• Iwo angakhale achikondi ndi achikondi pa tsiku koma kutali mmawa wotsatira
• Amayamba kukhala paubwenzi mwa kukhala pachiwopsezo ndi inu koma amawoneka osasangalatsa kapena osakhudzidwa mukabwezera
• Amapanga nthawi yozama yolumikizana ndipo mwadzidzidzi amafuna "danga"

7. Amakupangitsani inu kulingalira za momwe akumvera

Tili limodzi kwa zaka zisanu ndi ziŵiri, ndipo sindinkadziŵa mmene mwamunayo amandionera. Kodi ankandikonda? Kodi sanatero? Kodi ankafuna kukhala ndi ine? Kodi sanatero? Kumeneku kunali kuthyola mitengo mosalekeza popanda phindu. Panali zifukwa zingapo: 

• Amakhala odabwitsa komanso otalikirana ndikanati, "ndimakukonda", koma adazinena yekha momasuka pomwe adamukhudza. 
• Anachitcha kuti ubale koma samanditenga ngati bwenzi 
• Anasunga wathu ubale chinsinsi. Nthawi yonseyi tinali limodzi, ngakhale bwenzi lake lapamtima sankadziwa za ine 

Izi nthawi zonse zimandipangitsa kudzifunsa kuti, "N'chifukwa chiyani akutentha komanso kuzizira? Akufuna chiyani? Chifukwa chiyani sangasinthe maganizo ake?" Ngati mukukangana ndi mafunso ofanana, musalakwitse kuti ndi mbendera yofiira ngati nthawi zonse mumadabwa komwe mumayima ndi mnzanu.

8. Akukudzudzulani chifukwa chakutalikira kwawo

Apa mungakhale mukudabwa kuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani amakhala wotentha komanso wozizira nthawi zonse?” kapena “N’chifukwa chiyani sadziwa zambiri?”, ndipo munthu amene akupitiriza khalidweli adzakutembenukirani ndi kukuimbani mlandu. M’malo motenga udindo pa khalidwe lawo losasinthasintha, amakupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu wolakwa chifukwa choyembekezera kuti muzikhala ogwirizana kapena ngakhale zinthu zochepa chabe muubwenzi . Umu ndi momwe izi zimachitikira:

• Mukawafunsa chifukwa chomwe akhala kutali, ndipo amawaneneza kuti amakakamira kwambiri 
• Amachita zinthu mopanda chifundo ndipo akakumana ndi anthu amanena kuti “atanganidwa kwambiri” komanso kuti mwachita zinthu monyanyira
• Amakutsutsani kuti ndinu osowa pomwe zomwe mukufuna ndikulumikizana kofunikira.

9. Amakupatsa zizindikiro zosakanikirana

Zizindikiro zosakanikirana ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zodziwika bwino za khalidwe lotentha ndi lozizira. Tsiku lina, amalankhula za tsogolo; kenako, amanena kuti sakudziwa bwino za kudzipereka. Zochita zawo ndi mawu awo zimatsutsana, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kumvetsetsa zolinga zawo zenizeni.

10. Amakusungani pafupi koma amapewa kufotokoza za ubale

Ngati akusangalala kusangalala ndi zabwino za chibwenzi popanda kudzipereka, akhoza kukhala akukukakamizani. Pankhaniyi, khalidwe lotentha ndi lozizira likhoza kukhala chifukwa chosadziwa momwe akumvera pa inu. Ngakhale kuti sangakhale pachikondi kapena tsogolo lanu, sakufunanso kukutayani chifukwa zimenezo zingatanthauze kukhala okha. Chifukwa chake, angakuoneni ngati njira yobwezera , mpaka chinthu chabwino chikadzabwera.

Ryan, wofalitsa nkhani za anthu, akusimba zimene zinam’chitikira pokhala ndi mkazi wotentha ndi wozizira, ndipo anati: “Anachita zinthu ngati bwenzi langa, koma nthaŵi iriyonse nditakula, ankanena kuti sanali wokonzeka.” Izi zinachitika kwa zaka pafupifupi ziŵiri, mpaka pamene anakumana ndi munthu wina kuntchito ndipo anasiyana nane mwamsanga.

11. Amaonekera akafuna;

Munthu amene amakukondani komanso amakukondani amauona ngati khomo lozungulira. Iwo amafikira pa nthawi yomwe ili yoyenera kwa iwo, amasowa pamene palibe. Zofuna zanu, zofuna zanu, zoyembekeza zanu ndizosowa. Mgwirizanowu ndi wokhudza iwo, ndipo akhoza: 

• Amakutumizirani mameseji kwa maola ambiri atatopa koma amakunyalanyazani mukawafuna
• Amasowa mukamawafuna kwambiri koma amawonekeranso akafuna chisamaliro
• Amachita ndalama akafuna chinachake koma amakhala kutali pambuyo pake

12. Achita nsanje koma sachita;

Munthu amene akusewera masewera otentha ndi ozizira sadzadzipereka kwathunthu kwa inu koma nthawi yomweyo, sangafune kukutayani. Ngakhale kuti amakana kuvomereza ubalewo , akhoza kuchita nsanje ngati mutakhala ndi ena kapena kusunga zosankha zanu. Pofotokoza chifukwa chake zili choncho, katswiri wa zaubwenzi Dr. Terri Orbuch anati, "Anthu omwe amachita zinthu zotentha ndi ozizira nthawi zambiri amafuna kulamulira ubalewo popanda kudzipereka kwathunthu."

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Njira 5 Zochitira ndi Munthu Amene Sali Wokonzeka Kudzipereka

13. Ukumva kutopa m'malo mokwanitsidwa

Ubale wotentha ndi wozizira ndi chitsanzo chabwino cha ubale wovuta maganizo . Kusatsimikizika konse kumakupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu osatetezeka, mukulakalaka mnzanu nthawi zonse, komanso mukufuna kutsimikiziridwa. Kumva kuti muli otetezeka komanso otetezeka chifukwa cha ubale wabwino sikuli bwino mu ubale wotentha ndi wozizira. Izi zimatha kutopa mwachangu.

Mtsikana wina wazaka 27, dzina lake Sophia, yemwe anakumanapo ndi vuto limeneli, ananena kuti: “Poyamba ndinkamwa mowa mwauchidakwa, koma patapita nthawi ndinazindikira kuti ndinali ndi nkhawa kwambiri kuposa kusangalala.

Malangizo 7 amomwe Mungaswere Mkombero Wotentha ndi Wozizira

Ngati muli muubwenzi wotentha komanso wozizira, mukudziwa momwe zimakhalira zotopetsa kwambiri. Kuthana ndi vuto la kusadziwa bwino kwa mnzanu kungakupangitseni kukhala ndi vuto m'mimba mwanu nthawi zonse. Zikakhala kutali, mumadzimva kuti mulibe chitetezo komanso mukuda nkhawa. Pamene izi zikubwerezabwereza kawirikawiri, malingaliro osasangalatsa awa satha ngakhale mnzanuyo atakhala wosamala ndipo ali pafupi nanu.

Simungathe kulumikiza moona mtima ndikusangalala ngakhale mphindi zanu zabwino pamodzi chifukwa mukuyembekezera nthawi zonse kuti nsapato ina igwe. Kuthetsa vutoli n'kofunika kwambiri kuti mukhale ndi thanzi labwino komanso kuti mumadzilemekeze. Komabe, popeza izi zimakukhudzani pamlingo wambiri, m'malingaliro komanso m'malingaliro, kusiya nthawi zambiri kumakhala kovuta kwambiri. Malangizo asanu ndi awiri awa othandizidwa ndi akatswiri amomwe mungathetsere kutentha ndi kuzizira kukuthandizani kuti mupite patsogolo ndikuyambiranso kudziyimira kwanu:

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zitsanzo 15 za Kunyenga Mu Ubale

1. Zindikirani ndondomekoyi ndikuvomereza zotsatira zake

Musanayambe kudziwa momwe mungachotsere kutentha ndi kuzizira, muyenera kuzindikira kuti mwagwidwa. Vomerezani kuti kusagwirizana muubwenzi wanu sikwabwinobwino kapena kwathanzi ndipo lekani kuyang'anitsitsa zizindikiro za kutentha ndi kuzizira kwa mnzanuyo. Nthawi yomweyo, samalani za momwe zimakukhudzirani. Mwachitsanzo, 

• Mungadzipeze kuti mukudzikhululukira chifukwa cha khalidwe lawo, n’kumaganiza kuti, “Angopanikizika pakali pano.”
• Mumasangalala akakupatsani chidwi. Izi zikuwonetsa kudalira pa kutsimikizika kwawo 
• Maganizo anu amakhudzidwa ndi momwe wokondedwa wanu amakuchitirani 
• Mumaona kuti nthawi zonse mumangoganizira zolankhula ndi zochita zawo

Dokotala Tracy Dalgleish, mphunzitsi wa maubwenzi, akufotokoza kuti, “Kulimbikitsana nthawi ndi nthawi—kupereka ndi kulandira chikondi mosayembekezereka—kungapangitse kuti munthu akhale ndi chilakolako chofanana ndi chizolowezi choledzera . Kuzindikira kuti ichi ndi sitepe yoyamba yoti musiye.”

2. Siyani kuwathamangitsa ndikubwerera mmbuyo

Mtsikana wina wazaka 29, dzina lake Emma, ​​ananena kuti: “Ndinkayesetsa kuyesetsa kuthetsa vuto lililonse likamazizira.” Tsiku lina ndinaganiza zosiya kuchita zimenezi ndipo ndinangoganiza kuti n’chiyani?

Tsopano, izi zitha kuwoneka ngati mukuyankha kukunyengerera kotentha ndi kozizira ndi khalidwe lanu lopusitsa. Koma sikuti ndi kupusitsa, ndi kuteteza mtendere wanu. Chowonadi ndi chakuti mukamathamangitsa munthu yemwe ali ndi zizolowezi zotentha ndi zozizira, mumamupatsa mphamvu zambiri. 

M'malo mofunafuna kutsimikizika kwawo nthawi zonse, fananizani mphamvu zawo - ngati atachoka, musawathamangire. Umu ndi momwe: 

• M'malo mwa kutumizirana mameseji kawiri akapanda kuyankha, dikirani kuti ayesetse
• Ngati aletsa mapulani mphindi yapitayi, musasinthe nthawi yomweyo—aloleni achitepo kanthu
• Zikakhala patali, musayese “kukonza” zinthu; abwere kwa inu

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Momwe Mungagonjetsere ndi Kuthana ndi Chikondi Chosabwezera

3. Khazikitsani malire omveka bwino ndikufotokozerani zosowa zanu

Muyenera kusasinthasintha ndi ulemu mu ubale. Muyenera kukhazikitsa malire olimba muubwenzi ndikudziwitsa mnzanuyo makhalidwe omwe mungavomereze komanso osavomereza. Umu ndi momwe: 

• Nenani kuti, "Ndikufuna kukhazikika pachibwenzi. Mukangosowa kwa masiku ambiri, sindingathe kupitiliza izi."
• Ngati akana kufotokoza za chibwenzicho, fotokozani momveka bwino kuti: “Sindingaike ndalama mwa munthu amene sali wotsimikiza za ine.
• Akafika patali, musaiwale - dzikumbutseni kuti khalidwe lawo ndi la iwo, osati inu

Ndikofunika osati kungokhazikitsa malire okha komanso kuwasunga. Izi nthawi zina zingatanthauze kusiya chiyembekezo chabodza chakuti zinthu zidzakhala zosiyana nthawi zonse ndikupeza kulimba mtima kuti asiye. Ngati ngakhale mutawauza zosowa zanu, akupitirizabe khalidwe lawo lotentha komanso lozizira, ndi chizindikiro chakuti sakufuna kusintha. Ndicho chifukwa chake muyenera kuchotsa.

 4. Muziganizira kwambiri zochita zawo osati mawu awo

Malonjezo opanda kanthu ndi mawu okoma satanthauza kanthu ngati zochita zawo sizikugwirizana. Monga akunenera, kulonjeza popanda kusintha ndikupusitsa. Choncho pamene mukuyesera kupeza njira yothetsera kutentha ndi kuzizira, mvetserani momwe iwo amakuchitirani osati zomwe akunena. Musawalole kuti achite zinthu zovuta chifukwa chongolankhula zinthu zoyenera pa nthawi yoyenera. Muyenera kubwerera mmbuyo ndikuwunikanso ngati ubalewo ndi wabwino kwa inu, ngati:

• Amati amasamala koma amasowa mukawafuna
• Amalonjeza kuti asintha koma amapitilizabe ndi makhalidwe omwewo
• Iwo amachita mwachikondi tsiku lina ndi kutali lotsatira-kusagwirizanaku ndi a mbendera yofiira

5. Muziika patsogolo kudziona kuti ndinu wofunika komanso mmene mumamvera

Ubale wotentha ndi wozizira ukhoza kuwononga thanzi lanu lamaganizo. M’malo modikira kuti mnzanuyo asinthe, ganizirani za inuyo. Ikani ndalama muzokonda, mabwenzi, ndi kudzisamalira.

• Khalani ndi nthawi yocheza ndi anzanu m'malo modikirira mameseji awo
• Chitani zokonda zatsopano kapena ganizirani za kukula kwanu
• Dzikumbutseni tsiku ndi tsiku: "Ndiyenera kukhala ndi mnzanga yemwe samasinthasintha komanso amandilemekeza."

Dokotala wa zamaganizo Dr. Alexandra Solomon akulangiza kuti, " Ubale wabwino uyenera kuwonjezera moyo wanu, osati kukufooketsani maganizo. Mukangoyamba kudziika patsogolo, mumasuntha mphamvu."

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zizindikiro 10 Zofiira Izi Ziyenera Kukupangitsani Kuthamanga Tsopano!

6. Lekani kupereka zifukwa za khalidwe lawo

N’zosavuta kunena kuti mnzanuyo wachita zinthu mwaukali komanso wosazizira—“Sikungotumizirana mameseji” kapena “Anakula mwaukali.” Koma kumapeto kwa tsiku, khalidwe losagwirizana ndilo kusankha. Mukapeza kuti mukudzikhululukira kapena kuwapatsa mwayi wokayika kwa nthawi ya 1000, dzikumbutseni:

• Ngati amasamaladi, akanayesetsa, mosasamala kanthu za kukhala otanganidwa bwanji
• Munthu amene amakuonani kukhala wofunika sangakupangitseni kudziona ngati wosatetezeka mobwerezabwereza
• Anthu omwe ali ndi zovuta zakale angasankhebe kukhala ndi udindo wamalingaliro

7. Khalani okonzeka kuchoka ngati palibe kusintha

Dokotala Ramani Durvasula, katswiri wa zamaganizo, anati, “Ngati wina akupitiriza kukupatsani zokwanira kuti musamavutike koma osakwanira kuti mudzimve kuti ndinu otetezeka, si munthu woyenera kwa inu.” Chifukwa chake, ngati mwamuuza zosowa zanu, mwakhazikitsa malire, mwamupatsa mwayi wobwerezabwereza wosintha njira zawo ndipo akupitirizabe khalidwe lomwelo, nthawi yakwana yoti musiye chibwenzicho.

Kuchoka mosakayikira kumakhala kovuta chifukwa munthu amene amawomba kutentha ndi kuzizira amakupatsirani chithunzithunzi cha zomwe zikanatheka koma osalola kuti zitsimikizike, choncho, mumakhalabe wokhazikika. Koma panthawi ina, muyenera kusiya chiyembekezo chabodza ichi ndikubwezeretsanso moyo wanu. Umu ndi momwe:

• Ngati sangadzipereke pambuyo pokambirana kangapo, siyani kudikirira kuti asinthe
• Dzitsekeni kapena mudzitalikitse ngati zikuwonekeranso kuti musangalale
• Dzikumbutseni: “Ndikapitiriza kulolera zimenezi, sindidzakhalanso ndi chikondi chimene chimandiyenerera”

Maganizo Final

Khalidwe lotentha ndi lozizira muubwenzi lingapangitse kupsinjika maganizo kwakukulu, kukusiyani osokonezeka, oda nkhawa, ndi kulakalaka kusasinthasintha. Ngati muzindikira zizindikiro izi, m'pofunika kukhazikitsa malire omveka bwino ndi kuika patsogolo umoyo wanu wamaganizo. Kuphwanya kutentha ndi kuzizira sikophweka, koma ndikofunikira kuti mukhale ndi thanzi labwino. Zindikirani dongosolo, dziikireni malire, ndipo muziika patsogolo. Ngati amasamaladi, adzakwera; ngati satero, kuchokapo ndiye njira yabwino kwambiri. Ubale weniweni umamangidwa pa kusasinthasintha, kulemekezana, ndi kuyesetsana—osati pa kukayikakayika ndi masewera amalingaliro.

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