Zizindikiro 21 Zosonyeza Kuti Muli Wekha Mu Ubale

Ubale uliwonse wanthawi yayitali umadutsa m'malo ake okwera ndi otsika, pomwe ubale wapamtima ndi kulumikizana zimapitilira. Malingana ngati malingaliro a mtunda ndi kukhala nokha ndi gawo lodutsa ndipo inu ndi mnzanu mutha kupeza njira yanu kwa wina ndi mzake, si chifukwa chodetsa nkhawa. Komabe, mukayamba kudzimva kuti muli nokha pachibwenzi nthawi zonse, zitha kukhala chizindikiro chamavuto.

Kupatula apo, ubale ndi ulendo wogawana wachikondi ndi bwenzi. Ngakhale kuti mumasamala kwambiri za mnzanuyo, mumamva kuti simukugwirizana ndi iwo, zikhoza kubweretsa kusakhutira ndi kusasangalala. Popeza kuti mtunda uwu ndi kusungulumwa kungalowerere mwakachetechete komanso pang'onopang'ono, kusintha kwa kayendetsedwe kaubwenzi wanu kungakhale kosokoneza kwambiri. 

Bwanji osalankhulanso zambiri? Chifukwa chiyani wokondedwa wanu sakusamala? Nchifukwa chiyani zikuwoneka ngati pali gawo lina lomwe simungathe kulipeza? Kuti mupeze mayankho, choyamba muyenera kuvomereza vutolo kenako n’kupeza njira yothetsera vutolo. Kuti zimenezi zitheke, tiyeni tione zina mwa zizindikiro zodziwika kuti ndinu nokha paubwenzi, pamodzi ndi njira zina zothandizidwa ndi akatswiri kuti muthane nazo.  

Zizindikiro 21 Zosonyeza Kuti Muli Wekha Mu Ubale

Kumva kusungulumwa muubwenzi kungatanthauze zinthu zosiyanasiyana kwa anthu osiyanasiyana, kutengera kufunikira kwa munthu payekha kulumikizana ndi kukondana. Kupatula apo, kusungulumwa kwamalingaliro kungawonekere m'njira zobisika kotero kuti mungamve ngati chinthu chobisika chomwe chikuyenda muubwenzi wanu koma osatha kuzindikira chomwe chili cholakwika. Monga ndanenera kale, zonsezi zitha kukhala zosokoneza kwambiri komanso zosokoneza. Kuti mumvetse kusintha kumeneku kosokoneza, muyenera kuzindikira zizindikiro zochenjeza kuti muli nokha muubwenzi. Izi zikuphatikizapo:

1. Wokondedwa wanu sakuwoneka kuti ali ndi chidwi ndi tsiku lanu

Kusakhudzidwa ndi zomwe zikuchitika m'moyo wanu kwa mnzanu ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zoonekeratu za kusagwirizana muubwenzi , zomwe zingayambitse kudzimva kuti ndinu nokha komanso kusungulumwa. Tiyerekeze kuti mwapeza kuti mukufuna kukwezedwa pantchito ndipo mwasangalala kutumizirana meseji ndi mnzanu koma sakuyankha chifukwa chakuti “anali otanganidwa kwambiri”. Kapena muwauza za momwe munali ndi mkangano woipa ndi mnzanu wa kuntchito ndipo sakuyang'ana foni yawo.

Makhalidwe awa akuwonetsa kuti mnzanuyo ali wosiyana m'maganizo kapena m'malingaliro anu. Kupanda kwawo ndalama ndi chidwi kungakulepheretseni kukhala osungulumwa muubwenzi. Katswiri wa zamaganizo Dr. Carla Marie Manly anati: “Mnzanu akasiya zimene mumakumana nazo tsiku ndi tsiku, zingayambitse kusagwirizana kwakukulu.”

2. Zokambirana zanu zimakhala zongopeka

Kukambirana kopindulitsa kumatsegula njira yolumikizirana kwambiri. Kaya mwakhala limodzi kwa nthawi yayitali bwanji, muyenera kupitiriza kudziwana bwino kuti mulimbikitse ubale wanu. Ngati kukambirana kopindulitsa komwe kumalimbikitsa ubale wamaganizo kwatha ndipo kuyanjana kwanu kumayang'ana kwambiri zakudya, mabilu, zinthu zoyendera, ndi machitidwe, mutha kudzipeza mukuvutika ndi lingaliro lakuti, "Ndimamva ndekha nthawi zonse." Pofotokoza chifukwa chake anthu amakumana ndi kudzipatula m'maubwenzi, mphunzitsi wa Relationship Esther Perel akuti, "Maanja akasiya kugawana maloto awo, mantha awo, ndi malingaliro awo, amatha kumva kuti ali kutali ngakhale m'chipinda chimodzi."

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3. Mumayesetsa kwambiri

Chizindikiro china chosonyeza kuti muli nokha muubwenzi ndi chakuti udindo wosunga ubalewo uli pa inu. Ndinu amene mumayambitsa kulumikizana, kukonzekera madeti, kuyambitsa chibwenzi, kukonzekera tchuthi kapena zodabwitsa. Ndipo mnzanuyo ali pafupi kuti mupite. Zingayambe kumveka ngati muli muubwenzi wa mbali imodzi. Katswiri wodziwika bwino wa zamaganizo komanso waubwenzi Dr. John Gottman akuti, "Kuyesetsa kwa mbali imodzi kumapangitsa kuti mphamvu zisayende bwino ndipo kumapangitsa munthu winayo kumva kuti ndi yekha komanso wosafunika."

4. Ubwenzi wakuthupi umachepa

Zochita zosonyeza kukondana monga kukumbatirana, kupsompsonana, kugwirana manja, kapena kukumbatirana ndizofunikira kwambiri polimbitsa mgwirizano wamaganizo pakati pa okwatirana. Mungayambe kumva kuti muli nokha muubwenzi ngati mnzanuyo wasiya kukusonyezani chikondi chakuthupi. Mlangizi wa zaubwenzi Dr. Laura Berman akuti, "Kukondana kwakuthupi nthawi zambiri kumawonetsa kukondana kwamaganizo, ndipo kusowa kungasonyeze mavuto akuluakulu."

5. Simukumva kumva

Katswiri wa zamaganizo Nedra Glover Tawwab anati, “Kumvedwa kumatitsimikizira. Pamene mawu athu akuoneka osaoneka, ifenso timatero.” Ngati nthawi iliyonse mukagawana chinthu chofunikira ndi mnzanu—kaya nkhawa zanu zokhudza chibwenzi kapena chinthu chomwe mukulimbana nacho pa nkhani yaumwini—amadzinenera okha kapena kuyamba kulankhula za mavuto awo, m’malo momvetsera inu ndi kutsimikizira momwe mukumvera, mungayambe kumva ngati mawu anu ndi maganizo anu sizikuyamikiridwa. Pamene kusokonezeka maganizo kumeneku kukubwerezabwereza, mungamve kuti simukufuna kumasuka ndi mnzanuyo. Zotsatira zake n’zakuti kusungulumwa kwamaganizo.

6. Wokondedwa wanu akuwoneka kuti ali kutali kapena kusokonezedwa

Ngati mnzanu nthawi zonse amakhala wotanganidwa kwambiri moti sangalumikizane nanu komanso kukulankhulani, zimasonyeza kuti simukuika patsogolo zinthu zofunika. Nthawi iliyonse mukayesa kulankhula naye ndipo akulowa mu foni kapena kugwedeza mutu popanda kuganizira chilichonse, zimapangitsa kuti pakhale chopinga pakati panu. Pakapita nthawi, zopinga zimenezi zimawonjezeka ndipo zimawonekera ngati kusakhalapo kwa maganizo. Ngati mnzanuyo sali nanu mwamaganizo, mwachibadwa mumadzipeza mukudandaula kuti, “ Ndimamva kuti ndine ndekha muubwenzi wanga .”

7. Amaika china chilichonse patsogolo panu

Kusungulumwa kungayambenso kukula mukaona zizindikiro zakuti simukukondedwa muubwenzi . Ngati nthawi ya mnzanu nthawi zonse imakhala yodzaza ndi ntchito, zosangalatsa, ndi maudindo ena, zomwe sizikukupatsani nthawi yabwino ngati banja, mungayambe kudziona ngati osafunika ndipo mungayambe kumva kuti simukugwirizana. Dr. Gary Chapman, wolemba buku lakuti The 5 Love Languages, akufotokoza kuti, “Munthu akasankha china chilichonse kuposa inu, ndi chizindikiro chakuti kudzipereka kwake kungakhale kwina.”

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8. Wokondedwa wanu sachita khama kuthetsa mikangano

Kusamvana ndi koyenera pa ubale. Ndi luso la okwatirana kuthetsa kusamvana bwino lomwe limasonyeza mphamvu ya ubale wawo. Ndipotu, kuthetsa kusamvana bwino kungathandize kubweretsa okwatirana pafupi mwa kuchotsa kusamvana ndikulimbikitsa nthawi yachisoni.

Ngati wokondedwa wanu akana kutenga nawo mbali mu gawo lofunika kwambiri losunga ubale wamoyo ndi wathanzi mwa kutseka pakamwa pa mikangano kapena kunyalanyaza nkhani, mukhoza kumverera ngati kuti udindo wonyamula zolemetsa zamaganizo zomwe sizinathetsedwe zili pa inu nokha. Izi zitha kubweretsa mkwiyo ndi kutalikirana mu ubale.  

9. Sakondwerera kupambana kwanu

Ngati mnzanu akunyoza, kukana kuvomereza, kapena kunyalanyaza chilichonse chomwe mwakwaniritsa kapena gawo lomwe mumachita pa moyo wanu kapena pantchito, nthawi zonse mumadzipeza mukuganiza kuti, "Sindikusangalala muubwenzi wanga ." Ndipotu, inu ndi mnzanuyo muyenera kukhala atsogoleri achangu kwambiri. Ngati sachitapo kanthu ndikuvomereza udindo umenewo, mungamve kuti ndinu nokha komanso osungulumwa mosasamala kanthu za zomwe mwakwaniritsa komanso zomwe mwakwaniritsa.

10. Mumamva kuti simukukuthandizani

Reena, mayi wazaka 32 wa mwana wakhanda, akuona kuti mwamuna wake wakhala akumuthandiza panthawi ya mimba komanso atabereka. Izi zamupangitsa kuti asamavutike ndi kudzimva kuti ali yekha komanso kuti ali yekha. “Mwana wathu wakhanda amakana kugona usiku wonse. Amangolira pokhapokha ngati nditamuyamwitsa. M'malo mondithandiza kumutonthoza, mwamuna wanga amakwiya kuti sindingathe kugonetsa mwana ndipo amaumirira kuti ndimuyamwitse usiku wonse kuti asamalire.

“Zinandipweteka kwambiri m’thupi ndiponso m’maganizo. Ngati mwakhala mukukumana ndi vuto lofananalo lothandizidwa ndi wokondedwa wanu, mutha kumverera ngati mukukumana ndi chilichonse nokha. Zimenezo zikhoza kukhala chiyambi champhamvu cha kusungulumwa muubwenzi.  

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11. Amachotsa malingaliro anu

Mlangizi wa mabanja Dr. Jane Greer anati, “Kuchotsa mwamuna kapena mkazi ndi chizindikiro chakuti mnzanuyo sakuyamikira zomwe mwakumana nazo, zomwe ndi mtundu wa kusiyidwa ndi maganizo .” Izi zingalepheretse kufooka muubwenzi, ndikukupangitsani kudzipatula m’maganizo, zomwe zimangokulitsa mtunda pakati pa inu ndi mnzanuyo.

Sadie, wophunzira wa zamalamulo amene wakhala akudzionera yekha zimenezi, anati: “Ndinavutika ndi kusungulumwa pamene mnzanga anasamukira ku mzinda wina ndipo tinaganiza zongomufotokozera LDR mmene ndinkavutikira kulephera, ankanditsekereza kunena zinthu monga, “Leka kukhala watcheru” kapena “O, osatinso izi. Nanga n’cifukwa ciani timakambilana bwino popanda kudandaula nthawi zonse?” Kusazindikira kwake kunandipangitsa kuti ndisiye zinthu ndi iye. ”

12. Okondedwa anu samakonzera tsogolo ndi inu 

Momwe wokondedwa wanu amayankhira pazokambirana zamtsogolo zingakhudze momwe mumamvera otetezeka muubwenzi. Ngati sakuphatikizani m'masewera awo kapena akuwoneka kuti sakumasuka kukambirana mapulani anthawi yayitali okhudza nonse, zikuwonetsa kuti sangawone ubalewo ukupita patsogolo.

Izi zingakupangitseni kudzimva kuti ndinu osatetezeka komanso osatsimikiza za malo anu m'moyo wawo. Ngati simukudziwa komwe muli ndi mnzanu kapena ngati muli ndi maganizo ofanana pa zomwe zingakuchitikireni mtsogolo, kulimbana ndi kusagwirizana ndi mtunda ndi zachibadwa.

13. Mumamva ngati mukuyenda pazigoba za mazira

Chifukwa chiyani ndimadzimva ndekha muubwenzi wanga, mukudabwa? Kufotokozera kumodzi kungakhale kwakuti mumangodzipatula pamitu ina kuti musunge mtendere, mukuwopa kuti ngati mungawalere mnzanuyo atha kukhala kutali ndikukhala kutali. 

Mukamadziletsa nthawi zonse ndikumva ngati mukuyenera kuyenda pa zipolopolo za mazira kuti mupewe kuwakhumudwitsa, zimapangitsa kuti mukhale ndi nkhawa yomwe imalepheretsa kudalirika. Kusungulumwa komwe mumamva kungakhale chifukwa chodzibisa nokha ndi mnzanu. Katswiri wa zamaganizo Dr. Lisa Firestone akufotokoza kuti, "Kuyenda pa zipolopolo za mazira kumapangitsa kuti mukhale ndi nkhawa nthawi zonse, zomwe zimawononga ubwenzi."

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14. Ndinu abwenzi ambiri kuposa okondedwa

Ngakhale ubwenzi pakati pa anthu okwatirana ungalimbitse maziko a ubale , pamene zonse zili choncho, kusungulumwa kungayambe kuzika mizu. Kusowa chikondi kapena chikondi chenicheni ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zoyamba za kusagwirizana mu ubale. Zingapangitse ubalewo kukhala wopanda pake komanso wosakwanira, zomwe zingakupangitseni kumva kuti ndinu nokha komanso nokha ngakhale muli ndi mnzanu woti mugawane naye moyo wanu.

15. Mumathera nthawi yambiri yaulere nokha

Chizindikiro china chosonyeza kuti muli panokha pachibwenzi n’chakuti, ngakhale mutakhala pamodzi, mumakonda kuchita zinthu zosiyana m’malo mocheza. Kunyumba, nthawi zambiri mumakhala m'zipinda zosiyana kapena mukuchita zinthu zosiyanasiyana. Kapenanso mukakhala limodzi m’chipinda chanu, nonse mumakhala otanganidwa ndi foni yanu m’malo moigwiritsa ntchito ngati mwayi wolumikizana. 

Izi zikusonyeza kusowa chilakolako chofuna kukhala pafupi. Pomaliza pake, mtunda wakuthupi ndi wamaganizo ukhoza kuyambitsa kusungulumwa. Dokotala wa zamaganizo Dr. Jenn Mann anati, " Nthawi yabwino ndi yofunika kwambiri kuti ubale ukhale wolimba. Kuyandikana popanda kulumikizana kumakupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu nokha."

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16. Okondedwa anu amapewa kuyang'ana maso

Kudzipatula m'maganizo muubwenzi kumaonekeranso m'chilankhulo cha thupi la okondedwa ndi machitidwe awo pafupi wina ndi mnzake. Mwachitsanzo, ngati mnzanuyo akupewa kuyang'anana maso ndi inu pa nthawi yokambirana kapena mukakhala paubwenzi, kungayambitse kugawikana kobisika koma komveka bwino komwe kumakupangitsani kumva ngati simukuoneka, komanso ngati muli nokha muubwenzi wanu. Katswiri wa zilankhulo za thupi Patti Wood akufotokoza kuti, "Kuyang'anana maso ndi zenera lopezera ubwenzi. Kusakhalapo kwake kungasonyeze mtunda wamaganizo."

17. Mumamva ngati mtolo pamene mukuzifuna

Kusowa chithandizo ndi chizindikiro china chosonyeza kuti muli nokha ngakhale muli pachibwenzi. Ngati mukumva kuti muli ndi mlandu kapena mukuvutika kupempha thandizo mukadwala kapena mukusowa chithandizo chamaganizo chifukwa mnzanuyo amachita ngati kuti kukuthandizani ndi vuto lalikulu kwa iye, ubale wanu ulibe chifundo ndi chisamaliro. Zotsatira zake, mungadzipeze mukuganiza kuti, "Ndikumva ndekha muubwenzi wanga."

18. Akuwoneka kuti alibe chidwi ndi zokonda zanu

Kusakonda zomwe mnzanu amakonda ndi zomwe sakonda ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zosatsutsika za kusagwirizana muubwenzi. Ngati mnzanu wasiya kupereka malingaliro pa zochita ndi zosangalatsa zomwe mungachite limodzi mpaka kusakonda zomwe mumakonda , zimapangitsa kuti mudzimve kuti ndinu osiyana. Zimenezi zingakupangitseni kumva kuti muli nokha muubwenzi.

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19. Ukumva kutopa m'malo mopatsidwa mphamvu

Ngati lingaliro lokhala ndi mnzanu likupangitsani kumva kuti mwatopa m'malo mosangalala komanso mwachisangalalo, zimasonyeza kuti ubale wanu wamaganizo watha. M'mikhalidwe yotereyi, ubalewo ungayambe kuoneka ngati katundu m'malo mokhala ngati gwero la chithandizo. Izi zitha kukulirakulira mofulumira kukhala mkwiyo, mkwiyo , ndi mikangano yosatha, zomwe zimawonjezera kusungulumwa ndi kusagwirizana.

20. Zosowa zanu ndi malire anu salemekezedwa

Ngati muika malire koma mnzanuyo akuwanyalanyaza mobwerezabwereza, zingakupangitseni kumva ngati ufulu wanu ndi ubwino wanu zikuopsezedwa. Izi sizingakupangitseni kumva ngati mnzanuyo sakulemekeza zosowa zanu komanso zimapangitsa kuti ubalewo ukhale malo osatetezeka, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kuti mulumikizane naye. Kusiyana kumeneku kumakula nthawi zonse chifukwa cha kuphwanya malamulo, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti musamagwirizane komanso musakhale womasuka.

21. Mukusowa mtundu wakale wa ubale wanu

Dr. Alexandra Solomon, wolemba buku lakuti Loving Bravely , anati, “Tikamalakalaka zakale, nthawi zambiri zimasonyeza zosowa zomwe sizinakwaniritsidwe pakali pano.” Ngati mukupitirizabe kukhala pachibwenzi chifukwa cha momwe mnzanu wanu anakusangalalirani, kukondedwa, komanso kukondedwa, ndipo pitirizani kuyembekezera kuti masiku amenewo omwe munali ogwirizana komanso okondana adzabweranso ngati mutayesetsa pang'ono, pitirizani pang'ono, zosowa zanu zamaganizo sizikukwaniritsidwa. Kusowa kumeneko ndiko kukupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu nokha komanso nokha.

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Kudzimva wekha paubwenzi, kudzipatula komanso kudzipatula ngakhale uli ndi bwenzi logawana naye moyo wako, kungakhale kovutira kunena pang'ono. Zimakupatsirani kukayikakayika komanso kusatetezeka, zomwe zimakupangitsani kudzifunsa ngati ubale wanu ukupita ku chiwonongeko chosapeweka. Chabwino, ngati simusamala zizindikiro za kukula kwa kusagwirizana ndikuzindikira ndi kuthetsa chomwe chimayambitsa, zikhoza kutheka. 

Komabe, zosiyana ndi zimenezi ndi zoona. Palibe chifukwa chomwe simungapeze njira yolumikizirananso ndikubwezeretsanso ubalewo bola inu ndi mnzanuyo muli okonzeka kuthetsa mavutowo ndikupanga kusintha koyenera momwe mumachitira zinthu. Ndipo mungachite bwanji zimenezo? Nazi malangizo 7 othandizidwa ndi akatswiri othandiza kuthana ndi kudzimva kuti muli nokha muubwenzi:

1. Muuzeni wokondedwa wanu zakukhosi kwanu

Kodi mungachite chiyani mukakhala kuti muli nokha muubwenzi wanu, mukudabwa? Choyamba, musabise malingaliro anu ndikuwalola kuti achuluke. M'malo mwake, kambiranani moona mtima ndi mnzanuyo za momwe mukumvera. Kuti muwonetsetse kuti sakunyalanyaza kapena kunyalanyaza nkhawa zanu, gawanani zitsanzo zenizeni za nthawi zomwe mudamva kuti muli nokha kapena kuti simukugwirizana, ndipo muuzeni kuti mukufuna kuyesetsa kukonza ubale wanu. Ndikofunikira kuti mukhale chete ndikupewa kuimba mlandu kapena kudzudzula.

Katswiri wa zamaganizo Dr. Carla Marie Manly amalimbikitsa kufotokoza malingaliro kuchokera kumalo otetezeka m'malo moimba mlandu. "Kutsegula kuchokera kumalo odzimva kumabweretsa chifundo ndi kulumikizana m'malo modziteteza," akuwonjezera. 

2. Dziwani ndikufotokozera zosowa zanu momveka bwino

Zizindikiro za kusokonekera muubwenzi pamene zosowa za m'modzi kapena onse awiri sizikukwaniritsidwa. N'zotheka kuti mnzanuyo sakutengeka maganizo kapena ali kutali, koma sanathe kumvetsa zosowa zanu, zokhumba zanu, ndi zomwe mukuyembekezera. 

Choncho, musanayambe kukambirana ndi wokondedwa wanu, khalani ndi nthawi yodzifunsa nokha, "N'chifukwa chiyani ndimadzimva ndekha muubwenzi wanga?" Dziwani kuti ndi zinthu ziti zomwe zingakupangitseni kumva kuti ndinu olumikizidwa. Kaya ndikuwononga nthawi yabwino, kulandira chithandizo chochulukirapo, kapena kuyendera pafupipafupi, khalani ndi zomwe mukufuna.

Dr. Gary Chapman, wolemba buku lakuti The 5 Love Languages , akugogomezera kuti ndikofunikira kumvetsetsa zosowa zanu musanayembekezere kuchokera kwa mnzanu. "Kuphunzira kulankhulana chilankhulo chanu cha chikondi—kaya ndi mawu otsimikizira, zochita zotumikira, kapena nthawi yabwino—kumathandiza mnzanu kudziwa momwe angakuthandizireni," akutero.

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3. Yesetsani kuchita khama ndiponso udindo

Kusungulumwa kungayambirenso chifukwa chosowa khama, udindo, komanso kusasinthasintha muubwenzi. Ngati mukuona ngati mnzanu sakuchitapo kanthu kuti akulitse ubale wanu, zingayambe kuoneka ngati muli muubwenzi wa mbali imodzi . Zimenezo zingakhale zosakhutiritsa kwambiri. Njira yokhayo yothetsera vutoli ndikusiya kugwira ntchito yonse yamaganizo, kuopa kuti ngati simuchita zambiri, ubale wanu udzasokonekera, ndikulankhula ndi mnzanuyo za njira zogawana maudindo.

Komanso, musamapangitse kuti zigwirizane ndi zomwe mukuwona kuti ndizoyenera. M’malo mwake, apatseni mpata ndi ufulu woikapo khama limene limabwera kwa iwo mwachibadwa. Akakuchitirani zabwino ndi zoganizira inu, muziyamikira. Izi zimalimbikitsa m'mene nonse mumadzimva kukhala olimbikitsidwa kuchita khama mu chiyanjano. 

4. Lumikizananinso kudzera muzochita zomwe munagawana

Dr. Sue Johnson, woyambitsa wa Emotionally Focused Therapy, akugogomezera kuti, “Kuchitira limodzi zinthu zosangalatsa kumatsitsimutsanso mgwirizano ndi kukumbutsa okwatirana onse zimene amakondana, kumathandiza kuthetsa mipata ya m’maganizo.” Ngati mukulimbana ndi mtunda komanso kusalumikizana, lolani zomwe mumakonda, zomwe mumakonda, ndi zochitika zanu zikhale njira yobwerera kwa wina ndi mnzake. Kungakhale kumvetsera nyimbo pamagalimoto aatali, kukwera maulendo, kusewera tenisi, kupita kuphwando lolawa vinyo, kapena kutenga nawo mbali pa ntchito yokonza nyumba, gawanani zomwe zimakupangitsani kuti mukhale ogwirizana ndikukulolani kupanga zokumbukira zatsopano, zabwino pamodzi.

5. Yesetsani kudzikwaniritsa

Ngati nthawi zambiri mumadandaula kuti, "Ndimadzimva ndekha muubwenzi wanga," zingakhalenso chifukwa chakuti mwapanga ubale wanu kukhala chinthu chofunika kwambiri pamoyo wanu pamene mnzanuyo akukhalabe ndi moyo wabwino. Ngati ali ndi abwenzi awo, zomwe amakonda, komanso zomwe amakonda kuti ziwathandize kukhala okhutitsidwa pomwe mwachepetsa kukhalapo kwanu pantchito yanu ndi moyo wachikondi, ndizachilengedwe kuti mudzadzimva nokha mnzanuyo ali kunjako, akuchita zomwe akufuna. 

Chochititsa chidwi n'chakuti yankho lake ndi losavuta—m'malo mongoganizira zomwe mungachite mukakhala nokha, yang'anani pa kumanga moyo wokhutiritsa ndikugwirizanitsa ufulu wanu ndi mgwirizano wachikondi . Chitani zinthu zomwe mumakonda kuchita, kulumikizana ndi anzanu, kapena kutsatira zolinga zanu. Mukakhutira ngati munthu payekha, malingaliro anu pa inu nokha amasintha ndipo mumayamba kudalira pang'ono pa ena kuti akutsimikizireni.

6. Yesetsani kumvetsera mwachidwi ndi chifundo

Pamene mukulimbana ndi kusungulumwa muubwenzi wanu, mnzanuyo angakhalenso akumva. Mukawafotokozera momwe mukumvera, osataya nkhawa kapena malingaliro omwe mnzanuyo amagawana nawo. Kapena ganizirani kuti mnzanu akuyesera kupeŵa kuyankha mwa kutembenuza zinthu ndikuzipanga za iwo. 

M'malo mwake, onetsani chidwi chenicheni pa momwe akumvera komanso zomwe akumana nazo, ndipo yesetsani kumvetsera mwachidwi kuti mumvetse bwino momwe akuonera zinthu. Dr. Harville Hendrix, wolemba buku lakuti Getting the Love You Want , anati, "Kumvetsera mwachidwi kumalimbikitsa chifundo ndipo kumalimbikitsa okwatirana onse awiri kuti atsegule maganizo awo. Kulankhulana kumeneku kungathandize kugwirizanitsanso okwatirana omwe akumva kutali ndi anzawo."

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Njira 6 Zokhalira Omvera Chifundo Kwambiri Mu Ubwenzi Malinga ndi Katswiri

7. Ganizirani uphungu wa maanja

Ngati mwayesa njira zosiyanasiyana ndipo zizindikiro zoti muli nokha pachibwenzi zikukuyang'ananibe, zingakhale bwino kuganizira zopempha thandizo la akatswiri. Lankhulani ndi mnzanu za kupita ku chithandizo cha maanja. Chingakuthandizeni kuti nonse awiri mulankhule momasuka ndikulumikizananso. Ngati mukuganiza zopeza thandizo koma simukudziwa komwe mungayang'ane, akatswiri amisala odziwa bwino ntchito komanso odziwa bwino ntchito omwe ali pagulu la Bonobology ali pano kuti akuthandizeni.

Maganizo Final

Zizindikiro zosonyeza kuti muli nokha pachibwenzi pomwe mukuvutitsidwa, zithanso kukupatsani mwayi woti muwonjezere kulumikizana kwanu ndi anzanu. Choncho, musalole kukhala gwero la kudzimvera chisoni ndi kugwa m'masautso koma yang'anani njira zothetsera mipata yamaganizo ndi kulimbikitsa kumvetsetsa kwakuya. Kumbukirani kuti kumverera kuti mukugwirizana kumafuna khama, kulankhulana momasuka, ndi kufunitsitsa kuthana ndi zosowa zofunika. Malingana ngati inu ndi mnzanuyo muli okonzeka kuthana ndi mavuto anu, palibe chifukwa chomwe simungathetse vutoli ndikupeza njira yolumikiziranso. 

Zizindikiro 11 Kuti Simuli Pabanja Mu Ubale

Wokwatiwa Koma Mukuyang'ana Woti Mulankhule Naye? Wothandizira Akufotokoza Zoyenera Kuchita

Companionship Vs Ubale - The 10 Basic Differences

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.

Onani Ndondomeko Yathu Yolembera

Kumanani ndi Bungwe Lathu Lowunika

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