Situationship ndi mawu atsopano pazibwenzi, zomwe nthawi zambiri zimamveka mu gen Z kapena millennium. Urban Dictionary imafotokoza tanthawuzo la zochitika ngati mgwirizano kapena mgwirizano wa anthu awiri omwe ali ndi zibwenzi popanda chizindikiro chilichonse chofotokozera momwe zinthu zilili. Kusiyana kwa chikhalidwe ndi ubale ndikuti palibe kudzipereka kapena kudzipereka mumgwirizanowu.
Kuti timveketse bwino za vuto, talandila zidziwitso kuchokera kwa psychotherapist Hvovi Bhagwagar (MA mu Clinical Psychology), yemwe ali ndi zaka zopitilira makumi awiri pakuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi, maphunziro, ndi kafukufuku. Chifukwa chake, ngati mukuyang'ana tanthauzo la zochitika, kapena mukuganiza momwe mungathetsere vuto, werengani.
Kodi Situationship Ndi Chiyani?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
“Aliyense mtundu wa ubale amene sanakhazikitsidwe, ndipo ngati palibe kudzipereka, ndiye kuti pali vuto.” M’mawu ena, ndi ubwenzi umene ulibe tanthauzo lomveka bwino, pamene ‘mukuonana’ koma osati ‘chibwenzi’.
Kutalikirana, zochitika zimawoneka zokongola kwambiri ndipo tiyeni tiyang'ane nazo, zokopanso. Ndani safuna kusangalala ndi kugonana konse popanda kukumana ndi funso lakuti 'Kodi ubale umenewu ukupita kuti?' chipolopolo chawawombera? Koma sewero lenileni limayamba mutalowa muubwenzi wotere. Komanso, popeza mikhalidwe ilibe tanthauzo lenileni, imatha kuwoneka m'njira zosiyanasiyana. Tiyeni tikambirane zamitundu yosiyanasiyana.
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Mitundu yazochitika
Chokhacho chomwe chimatsimikizira zomwe zikuchitika ndikuti palibe zilembo kapena malire ogwirizana kapena zoletsa mumgwirizano. Izi zitha kuyambitsa makonzedwe osiyanasiyana chifukwa otenga nawo mbali sadziwa zomwe zili zovomerezeka ndi zosayenera. Hvovi akuti, "Ndawonapo maanja akulimbana ndi zosiyana mitundu yazochitika ndi vuto lowopsa lamikhalidwe. Ndiroleni ndikupatseni zitsanzo zingapo:
1. Mkhalidwe wa mbali imodzi
Apa, awiriwa amagonana modabwitsa kwambiri ndipo amakhala ndi chiyanjano. Komabe, m'modzi wa iwo amapita pafupipafupi kuti asunge zosankha zawo ndipo izi zimapangitsa mnzakeyo kukhala wachisoni, wokhumudwa, komanso wankhawa. Koma onse awiri adagwirizana paubwenzi wosadzipatulira kuyambira pachiyambi, kotero kuti wogwirizanayo amapeza kuti kuthana ndi vuto kumakhala kovuta.
2. Mkhalidwe wakuthupi
Ndi machitidwe athupi okha omwe amawakokera awiriwa kuyandikira. Palibe kulumikizana kwamaganizidwe. Ndi imodzi mwazochitika zomwe wokondedwa amachoka m'nyumba atangomaliza kupanga chikondi. Ndipo kachiwiri, mnzake winayo amadzimva kuti watengedwa mopepuka.
3. Kukopana mwachisawawa
Uwu ndi mtundu wa zochitika popanda kugonana. Amakumana, amalankhulana, koma kugonana kwatsala pang'ono. M’makonzedwe oterowo, lingaliro lakuti “Kodi munthu ameneyu adzandigwera kotheratu?” kapena “Kodi zimenezi zidzatsogolera ku chinthu chaphindu?” zimakupatsirani nkhawa zamavuto. ”
Zizindikiro 10 Kuti Muli Mumkhalidwe
Pamene kulumikizana kwanu kukuwonekera momasuka komanso momveka bwino, m'pamenenso mumakhala mumkhalidwe wovuta. Ngati mwasokonezeka ndi situationship vs abwenzi opeza cholowa, kumbukirani kuti abwenzi-ndi-zopindula amakhalanso ndi tanthauzo, malinga ngati mbali zonse zili pa tsamba limodzi.
Muzochitika zinazake, ndizotheka kuti m'modzi wa inu ndi wodzipereka kwambiri kuposa winayo, ndipo popeza sipakhala zokambilana za komwe muyima, ndiye kuti mukuyandama pachibwenzi. Kuphatikiza pa izi, zochitika zapamtunda wautali kapena zochitika ndi ma ex zitha kubweretsa zovuta zawo.
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"Zikachitika, banjali limakhala pamalo oti malire a ubale Sizikudziwika choncho, sikungogonana mwachisawawa komanso si chibwenzi. Izi zimapangitsanso kuti zikhale zovuta kuti anthu adziwe momwe angachokere pazochitika zinazake” Hvovi akutero.
1. Ubalewu ndi wosagwirizana
Pokambirana tanthauzo la zochitika, kusagwirizana ndi amodzi mwa mawu oyamba omwe amabwera m'maganizo chifukwa m'modzi, kapena nonse, sadziwa bwino zomwe mukuchita ndi wina ndi mnzake kapena pomwe zinthu zili pakati panu. Mphindi imodzi iwo ali kuphulitsa kwachikondi inu, chinthu chotsatira mukudziwa, pakhala 2 masabata ndipo simunamvepo kwa iwo. Kusagwirizana ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zofiira kwambiri za chikhalidwe.
Mtsikana wina wazaka 27, dzina lake Michael, ananena kuti: “Ndinkangocheza ndi mtsikana ameneyu kwa miyezi itatu. “Anali wosangalatsa ndipo tinali ndi nthaŵi yosangalatsa. Koma ankasowa kwa masiku angapo, ndiyeno mwadzidzidzi n’kubweranso n’kumandisonyeza chikondi mobwerezabwereza.
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2. Simunatanthauze ubale
"Zikachitika, okondedwawo sangakhale okonzeka kukambirana za kupereka dzina kapena tag," akutero Hvovi. Kufotokozera ubale kungatanthauze zoyembekeza zamitundu yonse ndikutsegulirana wina ndi mnzake za zofanana zolinga za ubale ndi zinthu zina zapamtima, zomwe sizikugwirizana ndi chikhalidwe chamaganizo.
3. Mmodzi wa inu kapena nonse akuwona anthu ena
Ngati simunafotokoze za ubalewo, mwina simunakambirane ngati mutha kuwona anthu ena kapena ayi. Choncho, ngati mmodzi kapena nonse a inu mukuona anthu ena, koma osadziwa ngati muyenera kudzimva wolakwa za izo kapena ndi mgwirizano womasuka, muli mu situationship.
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Tanya, wazaka 24, anati: “Ndinapita kocheza ndi mnyamata amene ndinakumana naye pa pulogalamu ya zibwenzi kwa miyezi 6. “Sitinagwirizanepo kuti tizikhala omasuka, koma tinkakumana pafupifupi Loweruka ndi Lamlungu, ndipo ndinayamba kuona ngati n’kuthekadi.
4. 'Ubale' wakhazikika pa kumasuka
Maubwenzi amabwera ndi kusagwirizana ndi zovuta. Muyenera kusintha mapulani anu ndi ndandanda ndipo nthawi zina, ngakhale zolinga za moyo, ndi munthu wina, zimene inu mofunitsitsa kuchita chifukwa cha chikondi ndi chikondi.
Uku ndiye kusiyana koyambira pakati pa ubale. Muzochitika, zonse zidzakhala zosavuta. Mwina inu
- Khalani m'dera lomwelo
- Kodi kukumana ndi mnzako kutengera kuyandikira
- Amatha kuwonekera pazidziwitso zazifupi mosavuta
Malingana ngati izo zayima, mudzakhala mukuwonana wina ndi mzake. Koma zikangotengera khama lowonjezereka, mudzaona kutsika kwakukulu kwa kulankhulana ndi misonkhano.
Muzochitika zotalikirana, ngati simukuyesetsa kulankhulana kapena kukhala ndi nthawi zapaintaneti, ndizovuta kwambiri kukhala mtunda wautali popanda kugonana. Ndipo, monga mwanthawi zonse, sipadzakhala zokambirana zilizonse zokhudzana ndi ziyembekezo ndi malamulo.
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5. Palibe amene akukumana ndi achibale kapena abwenzi
Ma rom-com ambiri amazungulira tsiku loyenera laukwati wabanja lomwe pamapeto pake limasanduka chibwenzi chokondana. Izi zitha kuchitika pakanthawi kochepa, koma ndizotheka kuti simudzakumana ndi achibale awo kapena abwenzi nkomwe momwe zimakhalira. chizindikiro cha ubale weniweni.
Hvovi anati: “Mwa anthu, zizindikiro za vuto sizimafanana ndi za kusinthasintha kwa anthu a m'banja.
Sally wazaka 25, amene amakonda kucheza wamba, anati: “Sindimafuna kuti makolo anga kapena anzanga azindifunsa mafunso. “Sindili wokonzeka kukhala pansi ndi kukambirana mmene ubwenzi wanga ndi munthu umaonekera kapena kumene ukulowera. Ndili bwino chifukwa chosadziŵa kuti n’chiyani, ndipo sindikufuna kuti anthu azingondiikira kumbuyo.
6. Simukondwerera limodzi zochitika zapadera
Monga tafotokozera pamwambapa, chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zodziwika bwino za momwe zinthu zilili m'banja ndi chakuti palibe malire. Chifukwa chake, ndizokayikitsa kuti mungasiye banja lanu ndi anzanu apamtima pazochitika zapadera ndi tchuthi chifukwa cha 'munthu wokhazikika'. Komanso, kutumiza munthu a mphatso yapadera yobadwa kapena maluwa angafune kuti muwadziwe bwino ndi zomwe amakonda. Ndi chizindikironso kuti mumaganizira za iwo omwe sagwera pansi pa malamulo azovuta.
Tsopano, kukhala pamavuto sikukutanthauza kuti simusamala za wina ndi mzake konse, koma kukondwerera masiku apadera pamodzi kumakhala ndi chitonthozo ndi ubwenzi wapamtima womwe mwina simunaupeze pakugwirizana kwanu. Mutha kuwafunira zabwino koma osanena ndi maluwa.
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7. Madeti sachitika pafupipafupi
Mutha kusonkhana kangapo pamwezi koma simukukonzekera mausiku amasiku pafupipafupi. Malo odyera okongola atsopano akatsegulidwa mtawuni, si munthu woyamba kumuganizira. Loweruka ndi Lamlungu likamadzafika, sizimamveka bwino m'maganizo mwanu koma simukhala limodzi Lachisanu usiku. Kuchita khama kokwanira kukonzekera ndikupanga tsiku lausiku kuchitika, kapena kutenga nthawi yayitali ulendo wausiku limodzi, si mikhalidwe yayikulu ya mkhalidwe.
Kristen anati: “Ndinakumana ndi mtsikana wina kuntchito ndipo tinagwirizana. “Tinapita kokacheza kangapo ndi kukasangalala.” Sitinalankhule za kumene zinthu zikupita, chotero sitinasudzulane kwenikweni kapena chirichonse.
8. Palibe kulumikizana kozama
Chilichonse chomwe timachita muubwenzi - kuthera nthawi limodzi, kukumana ndi achibale ndi abwenzi, ndi zina zotero - ndikumanga ubale wapamtima komanso kulumikizana mwamphamvu ndi munthu yemwe tikumuwonayo. Hvovi anati: “Pakachitika zinthu zina, okwatiranawo amakhala omasuka kufotokoza zakukhosi kwawo kwa wina ndi mnzake. kugonana wamba. Sipadzakhalanso chidwi chofuna kudziwa zambiri komanso kudziwana bwino ndi munthu winayo. ”
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9. Palibe zokambirana zamtsogolo
Mkhalidwe umatengera pano ndi pano. Palibe kulingalira m'tsogolo, ndipo palibe mapulani omwe amaganiziridwa. Inu mwina simudziwana bwino bwino kapena simuli otsimikiza za pomwe inu mukuyima, mwakuti inu osawona tsogolo limodzi. Kupatula apo, ngati simukutsimikiza za nthawi yomwe mudzawonananso ndi mnzanu, kuyang'ana zam'tsogolo kumakhala kopanda pake.
Izi sizikutanthauza kuti simungakhale ndi tsogolo limodzi. Ngati ndi zomwe mukufuna, Nazi zina zomwe mungachite:
- Kambiranani ndi munthu winayo ndikuwonetsetsa kuti ali patsamba lomwelo.
- Dziwitsani maganizo anu
- Onani ngati ali m'maganizo mwanu pamene mukukonzekera zam'tsogolo, ndipo muwone ngati mukuwonekera nawo.
Pamene mayankho sali olonjeza kwambiri, chabwino, muli mu mkhalidwe.
10. Mwina muli ndi zomverera, koma si chikondi
Mkhalidwe ukhoza kukhala wozikidwa pa kumasuka, koma izi sizikutanthauza kuti palibe malingaliro okhudzidwa. N'kutheka kuti muli ndi chikondi china kwa munthu wina, ndipo mwinanso mungabwezeredwe. Pakhoza kukhala chikondi, ubwenzi, ndi chisangalalo chenicheni cha kukhala pamodzi kwa wina ndi mnzake. Koma izo sizikutanthauza kuti ziri chikondi chowona.
Sikophweka kwenikweni kutanthauzira chikondi mwanjira ina iliyonse. Koma n’zosakayikitsa kunena kuti chifukwa cha chikondi, mudzachita zambiri. Mudzafuna kuwasamalira pamene akudwala ndi kutsokomola ndikuwoneka ngati chinachake The Exorcist. Mudzafuna kudziwa zovuta zawo ndi zochitika zawo. Ndipo simungadandaule kuyesetsa kugwirizanitsa moyo wanu ndi wawo. Chikondi ndicho kuvomereza malingaliro amphamvu ndi kuchitapo kanthu tsiku lililonse. Mkhalidwe, ngakhale ukhoza kukhala ndi zomverera, sizingafanane nawo.
5 Mbendera Zofiira Zoyenera Kusamala
Zochitika ndizovuta, kunena pang'ono. Pali kusamvetsetsana kwakukulu komwe kumakhudzidwa ndipo sumatsimikiza ngati zikhala zomaliza kapena ngati mukhala. lekana mawa. Koma kupatula kusamveka bwino, pali mbendera zina zofiira zomwe simuyenera kuzilekerera ngakhale mutakhala ndi vuto.
1. Kusalankhulana
Kulankhulana ndiye chinsinsi cha mgwirizano uliwonse wabwino. Ngati wokondedwa wanu apewa kukambirana za momwe mulili kapena tsogolo lanu, sangakhale ndi ndalama zambiri mwa inu monga momwe mumachitira. Khalidwe lotere ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zomwe zingakupangitseni kukhala osatsimikiza komanso osatetezeka.
2. Chikondi chosagwirizana
Ngati akuwonetsa khalidwe lotentha ndi lozizira, ndizotsimikizika mbendera yofiira. Ndizowona kuti muzochitika simungayembekeze kubweza ndalama zambiri monga momwe mungakhalire paubwenzi wodzipereka. Koma mukuyenerabe kusasinthasintha pamtundu uliwonse wa chikondi chomwe chilipo mu mgwirizano wanu. Ngati amakutumizirani mameseji nthawi zonse ndikumakupatsirani ma emojis amtima tsiku lina ndipo tsiku lotsatira amachita ngati kulibe, ndiye mbendera yofiira.
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3. Maganizo anu sakulemekezedwa
Mosasamala kanthu za kusakhalapo kwa kudzipereka, pali zinthu zina zomwe ziri zofunika mu mgwirizano uliwonse ziribe kanthu momwe zimakhalira. Ulemu ndi mbali imodzi yotero. Ngati malingaliro anu akuchotsedwa, nkhawa zanu zanyalanyazidwa kapena chilolezo chanu sichikulemekezedwa, ndiye mbendera yofiira kwambiri.
4. Akuchita molamulira
Kumbukirani, nonse muli ndi mawu ofanana mumgwirizano. Ngati mupeza kuti mnzanu akuyesera kukulamulirani, kukukakamizani chinthu chomwe simumasuka nacho, kapena kupanga mapulani osaganizira malingaliro anu kapena zosankha zanu, ndiye mbendera yofiira mumtundu uliwonse wa dongosolo.
5. Mukumva kupsinjika kwambiri kuposa kusangalala
Ngati vutolo likukuvutitsani kwambiri kuposa chisangalalo kapena chisangalalo, yesani kupeza chifukwa chake. Mwayi kuti mwina mnzanuyo amakuchitirani zoipa kapena muyenera kuyenda pafupipafupi pazigoba za mazira kuzungulira iwo.
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Malamulo 10 Omwe Muyenera Kutsatira Kuti Mudziteteze
Chifukwa chake mwa kusankha kapena mwamwayi, mwapezeka kuti muli m'modzi mwazinthu izi. Tsopano chiyani? Muyenera kusamala kwambiri mukamayendetsa ubale woterewu kuti musakhumudwe. Nawa malamulo ena omwe muyenera kutsatira kuti muteteze mtendere wamalingaliro:
- Khalani wamba: Osasunga ziyembekezo zilizonse zamtsogolo
- Patulani nokha: Lemekezani ndondomeko yanu ndi nthawi
- Limbikitsani zosowa zanu: Katswiri wathu akulangiza kuti, "Lankhulani zosowa zanu muzochitika momveka bwino, ndipo panthawi imodzimodziyo, khalani omasuka kuvomereza zosowa za mnzanu."
- Dziwani mmene mukumvera: Dzipatulani nokha ngati mutayamba kuwakonda kwambiri
- Osachipanga kukhala pakati pa chilengedwe chanu: Pezani mpata wa maubwenzi ena ofunika m'moyo wanu
- kufufuza: Malingana ngati palibe kudzipereka kwapadera, musazengereze kuwona anthu ena
- Tsatirani mfundo yakuti 'musafunse, musauze': Kukamba za malamulo amikhalidwe, Hvovi anati, “N’kutheka kuti pali zinthu zina zimene simuuzana, ndipo zimenezi n’zachibadwa.”
- Pewani kusonyeza chiwopsezo chamalingaliro: Hvovi anati: “Pakachitika zinthu zina, kugwirizana kulikonse pakati pa anthu aŵiri kumadalira kubisa mmene akumvera mumtima mwawo ndi kupeŵa kutengeka maganizo kulikonse.
- Ikani malire olimba: Hvovi akufotokoza kuti, “Malire amathandiza kuti zinthu zisamayembekezedwe, zomwe n’zofunika kwambiri pazochitika zinazake. Amakuthandizaninso kuona munthu wina mmene iye alili osati kudzera m’chithunzithunzi chachikuda cha chimene mukufuna kuti iwo akhale.”
- Sangalalani ndi nthawi yonseyi: Osayiwala kusangalala!
Nthawi Yothetsa Mkhalidwe
Popeza maubwenzi osagwirizana alibe tsiku lotha ntchito, mumadziwa bwanji nthawi yoyenera kupita patsogolo kapena kupita patsogolo? Ndikofunika kudziwa momwe mungachitire kuthetsa vuto pamene yatha njira yake. Tikudziwa kuti ndizosavuta kunena kuposa kuchita ndipo psychology yazochitika ndizovuta. Kotero apa pali zizindikiro zingapo zomwe mungayang'ane kuti muthe kuthetsa vuto.
1. Zolinga zanu sizikugwirizana nazo
Kuti zinthu ziziyenda bwino, zolinga za onse awiri zikuyenera kukhala zogwirizana kuyambira pachiyambi kuti zipewe zomwe sizingafanane. Ngati simukudziwa zomwe akufuna, kambiranani nawo molunjika. Ndipo ngati zomwe mukuyembekezera sizikufanana, zingakhale choncho nthawi yochoka.
2. Maganizo anu ali pachiwopsezo
Mfundo yonse yosayika chizindikiro cha ubale wanu ndikuti mutha kusangalala popanda kukakamizidwa ndi anthu. Ngati kukhala nawo kukuyamba kukubweretserani nkhawa zambiri kuposa chisangalalo, mungafune kuganiziranso zosankha zanu zaubwenzi.
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3. Mwakhala otanganidwa kwambiri kuposa iwo
Ngati muwona kuti mukuika nthawi yambiri ndi khama mu chiyanjano kuposa mnzanuyo, musanyalanyaze. Mutha kuganiza kuti muli bwino nazo koma posakhalitsa, kusalinganikako kungakhudze mtendere wanu wamalingaliro. Onani ngati kukambirana nawo kungasinthe mkhalidwewo, kapena ayi, chokani.
4. Umayamba kumva kuti wagwiritsidwa ntchito
Ngati mukuwona kuti wokondedwa wanu akukufunsani mochuluka kaya mwamaganizo kapena mwakuthupi ndipo zikukupangitsani kuti mukhale wotopa, ndiye nthawi yoti musiye. Ganizirani mafunso awa:
- Kodi wokondedwa wanu akukupemphani kuti mukhale okondana kwambiri kuposa momwe mumamasuka?
- Kodi nthawi zambiri mumapezeka kuti mukumvetsera kutulutsa kwawo komanso kumverera kwawo wothedwa nzeru?
- Kodi zakhala zovuta kwa inu kupeza nthawi yokumana ndi masiku?
Ngati zina mwa izi zikumveka zoona, ganizirani zothetsa banja.
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5. Okondedwa anu ali ndi makhalidwe oipa
Kaya ubale kapena mkhalidwe, kawopsedwe siyenera kuloledwa. Ngati mwayamba kuzindikira makhalidwe oipa mwa mnzanu, monga:
- Kuthamangitsidwa
- kuyatsa gasi
- Mawu achipongwe kapena zochita
- Ndemanga zonyoza thupi lanu
- Kuchita nthabwala ndi ndalama zanu kapena kukunyozani
Kenako chotsani zinthu mwamsanga. Mkhalidwewu siwoyenera thanzi lanu lamalingaliro kapena chitetezo chanu.
Ibibazo
Ngakhale palibe nthawi yokhazikika yazochitika, zikuyenera kupitilira mpaka onse awiri ali patsamba limodzi. Ngati m'modzi wa inu ali wodzipereka kwambiri, kapena akufunafuna kudzipereka kochulukirapo, mphamvu ya ubale imakhala yosalinganika ndipo izi zitha kubweretsa mavuto ndi zovuta.
Dziwani momveka bwino zomwe mukufuna pachibwenzi. Muli bwino ndi munthu wamba, popanda zoyembekezako situation, kapena mukufuna zambiri? Kenako, lankhulani ndi 'mnzako'. Dziwani ngati ali patsamba lomwelo. Ngati sichoncho, thetsani zinthu. Mutha kukhalabe mwaubwenzi, koma onetsani mawu anu pothetsa vuto.
Inde, ngati onse awiri akufuna. Mkhalidwe ndi pamene simukulongosola pamene muli, kotero kuti musinthe kukhala chiyanjano, muyenera kukumba mozama ndikuwona momwe mukumvera kwa wina ndi mzake, komanso momwe mukufunira kupita pa chibwenzi.
Maganizo Final
Pofotokoza mwachidule zonsezi, Hvovi akuti, "Ngakhale kuti mawu okhudza maubwenzi asintha pofika zaka chikwi, ubongo wathu umapitirizabe kusinthasintha maganizo m'njira yosatha komanso yapadziko lonse.
Ngakhale kugwiritsa ntchito mawu oti 'otsekereza' (monga chibwenzi, chibwenzi, bwenzi, bwenzi, kuyenda mosasunthika) kufotokoza ubale kumatisiya ndi zosankha zambiri, mwachibadwa sitikhala osankhidwa molakwika pa maudindo okondedwa. Choncho, ubwino ndi kuipa kwake ziyenera kufufuzidwa mosamala ndi banja lisanakhudzidwe. Zingakhale zovuta kudziwa momwe mungasinthire mkhalidwewo mutalowa m'dongosolo loterolo”
Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
