Zizindikiro 11 Kuti Ndinu Osasangalala Kwabanja Ndipo Mumakondana ndi Winawake

Kodi munayamba mwakhalapo pakati pa amene mwakwatirana naye ndi amene mumamuganizira nthawi zonse? Kodi munayamba mwapsompsona mnzanu wapabanja kwinaku mukukankhira kutali chithunzi cha munthu wina? Kodi ndinu okwatirana osasangalala komanso mumakonda munthu wina? Kodi simukusangalala posachedwapa? Kapena wosakhala bwino?

Inde, kafukufuku zimasonyeza kuti pali kugwirizana kwachindunji pakati pa mmene muliri wachimwemwe ndi wathanzi, ndi mmene ukwati wanu uliri wabwino. Mosasamala kanthu kuti yankho lanu ndi lotani, ngati munapuma powerenga mafunso omwe ali pamwambawa, kapena munamva kuti manja anu akunjenjemera pang'ono musanati "Ayi," mwinamwake muyenera kuwerenganso.

Swaty Prakash, mphunzitsi wolankhulana ndi Certification mu 'Kuwongolera Maganizo mu Nthawi Zosatsimikizika ndi Kupsinjika Maganizo' kuchokera ku Yale University ndi PG Diploma mu Uphungu ndi Chithandizo cha Banja, akulemba za zizindikiro zosonyeza kuti muli pabanja mopanda chimwemwe komanso mumakonda munthu wina. M’nkhaniyo, akufotokoza zimene mungachite ngati mwadzipeza mukunena kuti, “Kodi nditani?

Zizindikiro 11 Kuti Ndinu Osasangalala Kwabanja Ndipo Mumakondana ndi Winawake

Anthu nthawi zambiri amakhulupirira (ndipo kwa nthawi yayitali, akatswiri a zamaganizo adachitanso) kuti maanja omwe amatsutsana kwambiri amagawana mgwirizano wosalimba, ndipo amakhala ndi mwayi waukulu wopatukana. Koma mfundo yosangalatsa ndi iyi: Kafukufuku wasonyeza kuti ukwati wopanda mikangano ndi wochititsa manyazi, ndipo mikangano imathandizadi kulimbitsa mgwirizano wanu. Kuposa mikangano, ndi njira zothetsera mikangano kuti anthu awiri kutengera amanena zambiri za ubwenzi wawo.

Chifukwa chake, kukhala ndi zibwenzi kapena ndewu pafupipafupi sizimakupangitsani kukhala okwatirana osakondwa komanso kusapezeka kwa izi sikukupangitsani kukhala wopikisana nawo pachiwonetsero cha 'banja losangalala'. Mofananamo, kukhala paubwenzi ndi munthu wina kapena kulankhula ndi mnzanu si chifukwa chokwanira chokhulupirira kuti mumamukonda. Zingatenge zambiri za zizindikiro zotere kusonyeza kuti ndinu okwatira koma kugwa mchikondi ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu - komanso kuti mwagwa chifukwa cha wina.

1. Mumakonda kukhala ndi nthawi yambiri ndi munthu winayo

Mindy, woŵerenga wa ku Oklahoma, akutiuza kuti anakhala m’banja ndi John kwa zaka zoposa 13. Sanali “openga m’chikondi” koma ankakhala mwamtendere. Pamene Mindy ankasamalira ntchito zapakhomo ndi bizinesi yake, John nthawi zambiri anali mu ofesi kapena pa maulendo. Zonse, komabe, zidasintha chaka chatha pomwe Mindy adakumana ndi mnzake wakale waku koleji Chad. Tsopano, akapeza nthawi, ankathamanga kukakumana naye. Ngakhale pamene sanali naye, ankangokhalira kumuganizira kwambiri.
Mindy anali m’banja losasangalala koma ndi Chad yemwe ali pachithunzichi, anazindikira momvetsa chisoni kuti John ndi mwamuna wake anali wosasangalala. Chad anali m'malingaliro ake 24/7 ndipo inde, malingaliro opitilira muyeso ndi chizindikiro chakuti mukuyamba kukondana ndi munthu winayo.

Mutha kukhala muukwati wopanda chisangalalo komanso kukondana ndi munthu wina ngati muli:

• Kuganizira nthawi zonse za munthu wina pamene tili m’banja
• Nthawi zonse kuganiza za moyo ndi iwo
• Kutha kugawana nawo chemistry yabwino
• Ndikuyembekezera kukumana nawo ngakhale pamtengo wa nthawi yabanja
• Kukhala ndi maganizo othetsa banja nthawi zambiri

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2. Muli ndi zizindikiro za kupsinjika maganizo pafupi ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu

Psychology imanena kuti nthawi zambiri, malingaliro anu amatsogolera ku zizindikiro zakuthupi, nthawi zambiri popanda kufotokoza kwachipatala. Mukawona zizindikiro zotere zomwe sizikukulirakulira mozizwitsa mukakhala ndi munthu winayo, zitha kukhala chizindikiro chakuti mukuwakonda ngakhale muli pabanja.

Mwachitsanzo, ngati mukudandaula za mutu womwe umakhala pafupi kutha kapena kuchepa kwambiri mukakhala kutali ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu kapena mukakhala ndi munthu wina, zingatanthauze kuti banja lanu losasangalala liri ndi zizindikiro za thupi.

3. Amakhala munthu wokonda kupita naye

Kodi mumatenga foni kapena mumathamangira kudzutsa mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu nthawi iliyonse pakakhala nkhani? Ndikafunsa makasitomala anga zimenezi, amene ali m’mabanja osasangalala amati, “Sindichitanso zimenezo.” Ena amalungamitsanso ndikuwonjezera kuti, "Koma ndiye kuti palibenso chilichonse chogawana."

Inde, kulankhulana kumanena zambiri ndipo kusowa kwa kulankhulana kumanena zambiri. Choncho, samalani zizindikiro izi. Kuyambira kukambilana zokwezedwa za anzanu mpaka mapulani aukwati a mnzanu wapamtima, chilichonse ndi choyenera kugawana ngati mukufuna kuti chikhale. Koma ngati inu ndi mnzanuyo mwataya nthunzi, palibe chomwe chingamveke choyenera kutchulidwa.

Sizikuthera apa, komabe. Ngati ndinu okwatirana koma mumamva kukopeka komanso kukhudzidwa ndi munthu wina, mungawauze mavuto anu onse ndi mantha anu m'malo mwake.

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4. Umabisa kwa mnzako

Si chinsinsi kuti tonsefe tili ndi zinsinsi zomwe timabisira aliyense, kuphatikiza magawo athu ena. Koma ngati munthu wachitatu uyu akhala wanu chinsinsi chaching'ono chonyansa umabisira mnzako ndi chimodzi mwazizindikiro zoti ukuyambana naye. Choncho dzifunseni mafunso awa kuti muwone ngati ali 'chinsinsi' chanu.

• Kodi mwauzakonso chimodzi za kukhalapo kwawo?
• Kodi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu amangodziwa dzina lawo kapena amadziwa kuti mumakumana nawo kangati?
• Kodi mumamudziwitsa mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu akakuyimbirani foni?
• Kodi mumayimbira foni kapena kupita kuchipinda china akakuyitanani?
• Kodi manja anu amatuluka thukuta ndipo maso amatuluka pang'ono (zopanda mawu) nthawi iliyonse dzina lawo likatuluka?
• Kodi mumapewa kuwatchula poopa kuti mwina mnzanuyo angaone kuti mumakopeka kwambiri ndi munthu wina?
• Kodi mumapewa kuwaimbira foni ngakhale mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu atakuuzani kuti, “Tiyeni tisonkhane mabwenzi”?
• Ngati mwayankha kuti 'Inde' ku mafunso ambiri awa, tikhulupirireni, mukuwakonda.

5. Simumakopeka ndi okondedwa wanu pakugonana

Palinso chikhulupiriro china chodziwika chomwe chiyenera kuthetsedwa - kuchuluka kwa kugonana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu sikunena zambiri ngati muli m'gulu la okwatirana okondwa kapena osakondwa. A 2017 phunziro anapeza kuti anthu ambiri okwatirana ku US ankakonda kugonana 54 nthawi pachaka zomwe zikutanthauza kamodzi pa sabata. Chiwerengerochi si chizindikiro cha okwatirana osakondwa maanja kapena chizindikiro cha osangalala awiriawiri.

Ndiye kodi kugonana sikofunikira kwenikweni? Chabwino, osati ndendende. Izi ndizofunikira m'moyo wabanja:

• Kugonana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu pafupipafupi sikofunikira, koma ngati kwatsika kwambiri m'masiku kapena miyezi ingapo yapitayi, zikuwonetsa chinthu chokhudza
• Ngakhale mutagonana, mumamva kuti mulibe kugwirizana kapena ubwenzi umene munali nawo poyamba
• Simumayamba kugonana ndipo nthawi zonse mumayang'ana zifukwa zolepheretsa
• Simumadzutsidwanso ndi maonekedwe awo kapena kukhudza kwawo
• ndinu kulolera za munthu wina mukugonana ndi bwenzi lanu
• Ngakhale mutagonana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu, mumaona kuti simukukhutira

6. Mumamva kuti mulibe mlandu kudandaula za wokondedwa wanu kwa 'wina'

Kuti munthu avomereze kuti ali m’banja losasangalala ndi chimodzi mwa zinthu zovuta kwambiri chifukwa nthawi zambiri anthu amaziona ngati zolephera. Amayesa kubisa chisonicho ndi kusonyeza banja losangalala ngati kuli kotheka.

Koma ngati mukumva kukhala omasuka komanso opanda liwongo pamene mukuvomereza mbali iyi ya ukwati wanu kwa munthu wachitatu, kugwirizana kwanu ndi iwo n’kozama kuposa ubwenzi chabe. M’malo mwake, mumafunafuna uphungu wawo ndi kuyamikira chiweruzo chawo kuposa chanu. Mumaona kuti munthu winayo amakumvetsetsani kwambiri kuposa mkazi kapena mwamuna wanu, choncho, kuwafotokozera sikumakulemetsa ndi kudziimba mlandu ngakhale pang’ono, koma kumakuchepetsani. The umphumphu wamaganizo mu chiyanjano ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu n'zoonekeratu kulibe ngati mfundo izi kulira belu kwa inu.

7. Inu ndi wokondedwa wanu mumawomberana kwambiri tsopano

Kaya ndi nkhani ya kugonana kosakwanira kapena kuchapa zovala zambiri, mikangano ya m’banja imakhala yosapeŵeka. Koma pali zifukwa zambiri zimene zimachititsa mikangano yoteroyo imene imasankha ngati ukwati uli wachimwemwe kapena ayi.

Katswiri wa zamaganizo Dr John Gottman, m'zaka zake zopitilira 40 za kafukufuku, adayambitsa lingaliro losangalatsa kwambiri lotchedwa 'The Magic Ratio.' Iye ananena kuti maanja omwe amakhala ndi kuyanjana kwabwino kasanu pa mkangano umodzi uliwonse wolakwika, ndiwo amakhala kwa nthawi yayitali. Kodi mumachita izi ndi mnzanu?

Nawa nkhani zinanso zizindikiro zaukwati zosasangalala:

• Ngati chilichonse chokhudza wokondedwa wanu chikukupangitsani kukhala okwiya, ndipo simukuwona chisangalalo kapena chisangalalo pazokambirana zanu ndi iwo, zitha kutanthauza kuti mukusokonekera.
• Pomwe panali nthawi yomwe simunadikire kuti mudumphire m'manja mwawo, tsopano zomwe mukufuna kuwona ndi msana wawo.
• Zotsutsa zanu tsopano nthawi zambiri zimamveka ngati mawu omveka ngati "Nthawi zonse umachoka pansi panyowa" kapena "Simusamalira zosowa zanga"

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8. Kapena, mwasiya kumenyana

Inde, chinthu chimodzi choipitsitsa kuposa kumenyana nthaŵi zonse ndicho ukwati wopanda mikangano. Zili ngati nsomba ziwiri m’mbale ya nsomba koma pakati pawo pali chotchinga galasi. Amakhalira limodzi koma amakhalabe m'miyendo yawoyawo popanda ziyembekezo, zofuna, ndewu, kapena chikondi. Pamene mukumva kukopeka kwambiri ndi munthu wina, simungafune kukhala paubwenzi uliwonse ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu.

Research lavumbula kuti okwatirana amene amapeŵa mikangano nthaŵi zambiri amakhala ndi banja losasangalala. Maanja okondwa amasankha kukambirana zomwe zikuwadetsa nkhawa koma maanja omwe ali mu ukwati wopanda chikondi nthawi zina kuwotcha milatho yonse ndi njira zolankhulirana.

Ngati mukugwirizana ndi mfundoyi, pali zambiri zoti muzisinkhasinkha - Ngakhale simumakangana kapena kumenyana ndi mnzanuyo, mumamenyana nthawi zonse m'maganizo. Nthawi zonse mumakwiyira mnzanuyo ndipo mumaona kuti tsopano mukusanduka munthu waukali, ‘chifukwa cha mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu.’

9. Mwasintha kwambiri

Ngati mwakwatiwa koma kutengeka ndi munthu mwina, mungazindikire mulu wa zosintha mwa inu nokha. Tikayamba kukondana ndi munthu watsopano, malingaliro athu osazindikira amatipangitsa kuchita mogwirizana ndi zomwe chikondi chathu chatsopanochi chimakonda. Choncho ngati munthu wachitatu ameneyu ali m’maganizo mwanu nthawi zonse, n’zotheka kuti mungasinthe zinthu zokhudza inuyo kuti muwasangalatse komanso kuti muzigwirizana nawo.

Mwachitsanzo, ngati amakonda mitundu yowala pomwe inu nthawi zonse mumakonda malankhulidwe apansi, mungafune kuyesanso dzanja lanu pa zofiira ndi zabuluu. Mutha kupezanso anthu akuzungulirani akuwonetsa izi za avatar yanu yatsopano. Ndipo pamene mukukana mwamphamvu kusintha kulikonse koteroko, mtima wanu ungadziwe kuti sakunama ndipo chinachake chatenga njira yatsopano.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zizindikiro 13 Kuti Mumakondana Kwambiri ndi Winawake

10. Mumapewa kupita kokacheza ndi banja

Kodi mumathera nthawi yayitali muofesi, kungokhala ndi kumangoyendayenda mopanda cholinga nthawi zambiri mukagula golosale? Chabwino, ngati muli m'banja lopanda chimwemwe, kunyumba sikumveka ngati malo osangalatsa, otetezeka omwe mukufuna kukhalamo. Kotero mumapewa kupita kunyumba, ndipo kukonzekera tchuthi cha banja ndiko kukana kotheratu.

Mosiyana ndi zaka zapitazo, liti kukonzekera ulendo wachilendo wa banja Lokha linali masewera osangalatsa omwe inu ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu munakonda kuchita nawo, tsopano, ngakhale lingaliro lokhala nawo kudziko lakutali lachikondi limakupangitsani kuti mukhale ndi nkhawa komanso mantha. Mumayang’ana zifukwa zopeŵera tchuti choterocho ndipo nthaŵi zambiri mumakhala “otanganidwa ndi ntchito” kapena “osakhala bwino” pakakhala kusonkhana kulikonse kwabanja.

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11. Chilichonse chokhudza wokondedwa wanu chimakukwiyitsani

Chikondi chimapangitsa aliyense kuwoneka wangwiro, ndipo kusowa kwake? Chabwino, imaphulika ndikubweretsa zolakwika pamaso panu. Chotero ngati chikondi chizimiririka, munthu yemweyo ‘wangwiro’ amavula zokometsera zake zonse, kuwapangitsa kuwoneka opanda ungwiro ndi osayenerana. Ndinu okwatirana osasangalala komanso mumakonda munthu wina ngati:

• Chilichonse chokhudza theka lanu lina ndi chokhumudwitsa: Palibe amene ali wangwiro (kapena aliyense ali). Ndi chikondi chimene chimawapangitsa kukhala okondedwa ndi osiyana. Chifukwa chake, ngati mupeza kuti mnzanuyo akukwiyitsani komanso kukwiyitsa 24/7, pali funso pa chikondi chomwe mwina chinalipo kale.
• Ymumawafananiza m'maganizo: Simumakwiyitsidwa koma mumangowayerekezera ndi munthu winayo n’kumaganiza kuti ali bwino kwambiri kuposa mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu.
• Ndinu osakhululuka tsopano: Kuyambira momwe amavalira mpaka momwe amadulira chakudya chawo, simumakwiyitsidwa komanso osakhululukira chilichonse chachikulu ndi chaching'ono. Izi zikutanthauza kuti banja lanu silikuyenda bwino

Momwe Mungalimbanire Ndi Kukondana ndi Winawake

Ngati zizindikiro zimene mwawerenga m’nkhaniyo mpaka pano zikumveka ngati munthu amene akugwirizana ndi maganizo anu, mwina ndi nthawi yoti muziyang’ana pagalasi ndi kuvomereza kuti, “Ndinakumana ndi chikondi chimene ndinachipeza ndili m’banja.” Kuvomereza ndi kuvomereza ndi sitepe yoyamba yochitira zinthu.

Mukangovomereza kuti muli ndi zibwenzi kunja kwa banja, musachite mantha. Anthu amene ali m’mikhalidwe yotero kaŵirikaŵiri amadzifunsa kuti, “Kodi ndingatani ngati ndili pa banja koma ndimakondana ndi munthu wina?” Chabwino, pali zinthu zinayi zomwe zingachitike:

• Muzichita motere: Mukupitiriza kukonda munthuyo koma simuchita chilichonse chokhudza ukwati wanu. Mukhoza kuyamba chibwenzi ndi munthu winayo kapena ayi
• Muthetsa ukwati wanu: Mumasankha munthu wina m’malo mwa ukwati wanu
• Mumathetsa chibwenzicho: Mumasankha kukhalabe pabanja ndi kusiya maubwenzi ndi munthu winayo
• Munthu wachitatu amathetsa zonse: Munthu winayo, ngati amakukondanso, aganiza zobwerera m'mbuyo

Ngakhale kuti masitepe onsewa amabwera ndi zotsatira zake komanso zopindulitsa, ndikofunikira kuti muziyang'ana zonse motsatira zazifupi komanso zazitali. Timamvetsetsa kuti si chisankho chophweka, ndipo imodzi mwa njira zabwino zopezera chisankho chomaliza ndi njira ya 10-10-10. Lembani mmene zisankho zitatu zoyambirira zingakhudzireni inu m’masiku khumi otsatirawa, ndiyeno lembani zinthu zimene zidzasintha m’miyezi khumi ikubwerayi, ndipo pomalizira pake zimene zidzasintha m’zaka khumi zikubwerazi.

Mukangolemba zabwino zonse ndi zoyipa za chisankho chilichonse, mwachiyembekezo malingaliro anu sakhala opanda chifunga komanso okhoza kupanga chisankho choyenera.

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Ngati Mukufuna Kupulumutsa Ukwati Wanu (Masitepe 5)

Chifukwa chake mutatha kusinkhasinkha kwambiri, mwaganiza kutero sunga ukwati wako. Chabwino, ngati ichi ndi chisankho chanu, ndikuuzeni china chomwe chingakukhazikitseni mtima pansi. Makasitomala ambiri omwe adabwera kwa ine atathetsa mabanja awo chifukwa chokonda munthu wina adavomereza kuti akanakhala ndi mwayi wina akanachita mosiyana ndikupulumutsa banja lawo.

Gawo 1: Siyani kulankhulana konse ndi munthu winayo

Izi zikumveka ngati sitepe yodziwikiratu, sichoncho? Chabwino, ndilonso lovuta kwambiri. Kudula kulumikizana konse ndi munthu uyu yemwe adakusangalatsani ndikukupulumutsirani ndizovuta, kunena pang'ono. Koma chotsani band-aid, tsatirani lamulo losalumikizana ndi kukana ziyeso zonse kuwaitana kapena kuwasaka pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti.

Gawo 2: Bweretsani zomwe zili m'banja mwanu

Mwambi wofala wakuti “ukwati ndi ntchito imene ukupita patsogolo” ndi woona kwambiri. Kungosiya munthu wina sikungapulumutse banja lanu. Ukwati wanu unali m'mavuto nthawi zonse, winayo amangogwedeza maziko ofooka. Choncho ndi nthawi yoti musinthe maganizo anu, ndi kuika mphamvu zanu ndi nthawi yanu muukwati wanu.

Lankhulani zambiri ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu. A phunziro akusonyeza kuti kulankhulana kwabwino pakati pa okwatirana kumakhudza mwachindunji mmene amaonera kukhutiritsa unansi wawo.

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Gawo 3: Yambitsaninso chikondi chakale m’banja mwanu

Mukukumbukira nthawi yomwe mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu anali yemwe mumamukonda komanso mosemphanitsa? Ndiye, nchiyani chinasintha? Ndi chiyani chinakupangitsani kufuna kukondedwa kunja kwa banja ndipo ndi liti pamene mnzanu wapamtima anakhala wosakhala wangwiro? Mukazindikira kuti zinthu zidayamba kusintha, mutha kudziwa momwe mungasinthire.

Ambiri mwa maukwati sangathe kukhala ndi moyo pambuyo pa zovutazo gawo laukwati zatha. Kuchoka pa kukumbatirana mwachikondi ndi momasuka kupita ku zochita za tsiku ndi tsiku nthawi zambiri kumakhala kovutirapo. Koma mvetsetsani kuti ngakhale gawo lachisangalalo limatha nthawi zonse, gawo lotsatira siliyenera kukhala lopanda chikondi kapena losasangalatsa. Ikani khama ndikutsitsimutsanso chikondi chakale. Konzani chakudya chamadzulo modzidzimutsa ngati masiku abwino akale kapena pitani kokayenda kopanda mlungu wamlungu kupita kumalo komwe mumakonda kapena muzichita zinthu mwadongosolo ndi kukumbatirana, kukambirana, ndi zina zambiri.

4: Khalani ndi chikhulupiriro m'chikondi chanu

Sikophweka kuchiritsa mtima wosweka, choncho dzichitireni chifundo. Ngakhale mutayesa kupulumutsa banja lanu koyamba, dzikumbutseni kuti inu ndi mnzanuyo munali ndi moyo wabwino wodzaza chikondi. Mfundo yakuti munasankha kupulumutsa banja lanu imanena zambiri za chikhulupiriro chanu m’menemo. Zomwe muyenera kuchita ndikudzikumbutsa mobwerezabwereza kuti ngakhale zikuwoneka zovuta, mwakhala mukuyenda mumsewu wosangalatsa m'mbuyomu ndipo mukudziwa njira.

Khwerero 5: Funsani maganizo anu otengeka

Ngakhale mutasiya kulankhulana ndi munthu winayo, mwayi woti muzimuganizira ndi waukulu kwambiri. Mungadzipeze mukuwaganizira ngakhale pamene mukugona ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu kapena pamene mukukagula zinthu. Mutha kupita ku ofesi ya canteen ndikuyembekeza kukumana nawo kapena kupita ku mbiri ya anzawo kuti mungowawona.

Maganizo oterowo akayamba kulamulira, dzifunseni. Dzifunseni kuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani ndimaganizirabe zimenezi?” "Bwanji sindikulola maganizo awo kundichoka?" “Kodi anali kukwaniritsa chosowa chotani?” "Kodi ndingakwaniritse mwanjira ina?" “Kodi ndimangobwerezanso zachikale powakonda?”

Nthawi zina, kuyankhulana moona mtima ndi ife eni kumatithandiza kumvetsetsa malingaliro athu bwino. Mafunso otere atha kuthetsa malingalirowo ndipo mwayi ndi wakuti, ubongo wanu ukhoza kutopa kwambiri kukumana nanu ndipo mutha kusiya kuziganizira.

Ngati Mukufuna Kuthetsa Ukwati Wanu (Masitepe 5)

Ngati mwadzipeza kuti mukuulula kuti, “Ndinakumana ndi chikondi cha moyo wanga ndili m’banja ndipo ndatsiriza kupereka mpata ku ukwati wanga,” ndiyo nthaŵi yolingalira ndi kuchita zinthu momveka bwino ndi mosamala.

Kuvomereza kuti muli m’banja mopanda chimwemwe komanso kukonda munthu wina si chinthu chophweka. M’dziko limene limalemekezabe ukwati, kusankha kwanu kupatukana sikungalandiridwe bwino. Koma ngakhale ili sitepe lovuta, likhoza kutsogoza ku moyo wokongola wamtsogolo umene mwinamwake munalandidwa nawo muukwati wanu wopanda chikondi.

Kuthetsa ukwati, pamene umakonda munthu wina, sikuyenera kukhala konyansa kapena kukhumudwitsa. Mukangozindikira kuti wanu ukwati watha, Kodi mumatani? Nazi njira zina zomwe mungatsatire kuti mutsimikizire kuti kutha kwa banja lanu kukhale kwamtendere komanso kuti chisankho chothetsa banja chisakhale chachangu kapena china chomwe munganong'oneze nazo bondo.

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Gawo 1: Kambiranani ndi munthu winayo

Kaya ali pachithunzichi mwachindunji kapena ayi, mfundo yakuti ali ndi inu muzochitika izi sizingakane. Chifukwa chake ndikofunikira kuti ngati ali mapulani B anu, afotokozedwe momveka bwino za izi. Muyenera kufotokoza zomwe mukuyembekezera ndikulankhulana ndi tsogolo lomwe mwakhala mukuluka mumtambo wanu. Onetsetsani kuti si inu nokha amene mulipo.
Kaya amakumverani chimodzimodzi kapena ayi, mungafunebe kuthetsa ukwati wanu wopanda chikondi.

2: Khalani wachifundo ndi mnzanu

Ngati ndinu amene mukuwaletsa, kungakhale chifundo kwa inu kuwamvera chisoni. Ngakhale sichinthu chophweka kwa inunso, chowonadi ndichakuti mutha kukhala ndi wina woti mupiteko. Mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu angakhale wopanda mwayi. Ndiye chilichonse zifukwa zakusudzulana, sizimapweteka kukhala wachifundo ndi wachifundo kwa munthu amene munali kumukonda, kapena kukhala naye pa moyo wanu.

3: Osachita masewera olakwa

Ngakhale kukwiyira ndi zolakwa zina ndizosapeweka, kukhazikitsa malire abwino ndi wokondedwa wanu ndizofunikira kwambiri. Auzeni momwe mwapangira chisankho ndipo musafune kulowerera m’matope ponena za amene anachita.

Masewera odzudzula amangopangitsa kuti zinthu zikhale zovuta kwa nonse awiri komanso ziwonekere kapena ayi, banja lolephera nthawi zambiri limakhala udindo wa onse awiri. Choncho, ngakhale kuti kuimba mlandu mnzanuyo kumamveka ngati kwachibadwa, sizisintha mfundo yakuti anthu aŵiri akasemphana maganizo, onse amabwerera m’mbuyo. Kuimba mlandu wina ndi mnzake kumangowonjezera kukhumudwa ndi kupangitsa chisudzulo kukhala chowawa ndi choipidwa.

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Khwerero 4: Osalora ana kukhala ozunzidwa

Ngati muli ndi ana/ana, mwayi woti iwo akhale odwala kwambiri ndi weniweni. A ukwati wosweka ndi zinthu zambiri koma ana osweka ndi zoyipa zake zoyipa. Musamakwiyire mkazi kapena mwamuna wanu pamene mukulankhula ndi ana anu za kupatukanako.

Mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu sangakhale bwenzi labwino koma kwa ana anu, aloleni iwo akhale kholo labwino kwambiri. Komanso, m’pofunika kudziwitsa ana anu kuti pamene inu nonse mukuyenda m’njira zosiyanasiyana, iwo akakhalabe gulu limodzi pankhani ya kulera ana.

Pakalipano, onetsetsani kuti mwalankhula mwatsatanetsatane za ana anu ndi mapulani anu ozungulira iwo ndi munthu winayo. Ndikofunikira kwambiri kudziikira malire, kufotokoza zomwe mukuyembekezera, ndikufotokozera mantha okhudza ana anu.

Gawo 5: Dzikhululukireni nokha

Yang'anani pagalasi ndikudzidziwitsa nokha kuti kusankha moyo wabwino komanso wosangalala sikumakupangitsani kukhala woipa kapena wodzikonda. Khalani okoma mtima kwa inu eni ndi kudzizindikiritsa nokha kuti siliri vuto lanu ngati simunakhale m’banja lopanda chimwemwe ndi kupeza chikondi kunja kwa malire ake.

Ngati mukukhala ndi mlandu kapena kukana dzikhululukireni nokha, malingaliro angakuvutitseninso m’moyo wanu wamtsogolo. Osalemedwa ndi malingaliro oyipa ndikudzizungulira ndi anzanu ndi achibale omwe amakumvetsetsani osakuimbani mlandu.

Palibe amene amafuna kugwa m’chikondi ndi munthu wina ali m’banja. Koma nthawi zina mukakhala m’banja lochitira nkhanza, lopanda chikondi, losagwirizana, kapena losasangalala, kulola kuti munthu amene ali pachiopsezo chanu agwere munthu wokoma mtima ndiponso wodzala ndi chikondi ndi chisamaliro n’chibadwa. Koma ndikofunikiranso kufufuza ngati ichi ndi chikondi kapena kuthamanga kwa adrenaline kukumana ndi munthu watsopano komanso wosangalatsa. Khalani wolimba koma wokoma mtima kwa inu nokha, ndipo dzifunseni zomwe mukufuna ngati muli m'banja mopanda chimwemwe ndipo mumakonda munthu wina.

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