Magawo 9 a Ukwati Wakufa

Simukusangalala m’banja mwanu ndipo zakhala choncho kwa nthawi yaitali. Mwakakamira m’magawo a ukwati umene ukutha, koma simukudziwa kumene mwaima ndi zimene mungachite kuti muthetse. Mukuganiza kuti, "Gosh, ukwati wanga ukundikhumudwitsa" ndikudzifunsa ngati simunakhalepo mpaka kalekale.

Kuzindikira zizindikiro za kutha kwa banja ndiko kuyang'ana mozama za ubale womwe uli pafupi kwambiri ndi mtima wanu ndi moyo womwe munamanga ndi munthu amene mumamukonda kwambiri ndipo mwina mudakali nawo. Kuthetsa ukwati ndiko kusiya mbali ya moyo wanu yomwe inakukwezani ndi kupanga gawo lalikulu la umunthu wanu.

Palibe mwa izi ndi chophweka. Kupatula apo, amene akufuna kusokoneza ukwati wawo, kufunafuna zizindikiro zosonyeza kuti banja lanu likupita patsogolo. Palibe amene amafuna kugwirizanitsa mawu oti ‘kufa’ ndi ukwati wawo. Koma nthawi zina timafunika kuchita zinthu zovuta kuti tikhale ndi mtendere wamumtima.

Tinaganiza kuti mungagwiritse ntchito thandizo la akatswiri. Ndipo, tinapempha mphunzitsi wa thanzi la maganizo ndi kusamala Pooja Priyamvada (wovomerezedwa mu Psychological and Mental Health First Aid kuchokera ku Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health ndi University of Sydney), yemwe ndi katswiri pa uphungu wa zibwenzi zakunja kwa ukwati, kutha kwa banja, kulekana, chisoni ndi kutayika, kungotchulapo ochepa, kuti adziwe magawo ena a ukwati womwe ukutha.

5 Zizindikiro Zazikulu Za Ukwati Wakufa

Tisanalowe m'kati mwa ukwati womwe ukutha, tiyeni tiwone zizindikiro zina zakuti ukwati wanu watha. Mwina mwaona kale zizindikiro izi koma simukufuna kuzilandira ngati zizindikiro zowopsa za ubale wanu . Mwina simukufuna kuvomereza kuti izi ndi zizindikiro zoonekeratu za ukwati womwe ukutha.

Tikupeza - ndizotopetsa kugwira ntchito muukwati wanu ndi chisa cha mano abwino, kuyang'ana zolakwika ndi ming'alu. Koma ndikofunikiranso kuwona maubwenzi athu apamtima momwe alili. Choncho, puma mozama, ndipo tiyeni tiwone zizindikiro za imfa ya banja:

1. Mmodzi kapena nonse a inu nthawi zonse mukufufuza zakale

Palibe amene amalowa m'banja kapena pachibwenzi ali ndi mavuto onse. Tonsefe tili ndi mavuto athu amalingaliro ndipo tonsefe tatchulapo zolakwa ndi kutukwana m'mbuyomu pankhondo. Ndi chimodzi mwa zida zomwe timagwiritsa ntchito muubwenzi.

Koma, ngati zakale zasokoneza ubale wanu wamakono kotero kuti simungathenso kulingalira za tsogolo limodzi, ndicho chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zomwe ukwati wanu watha. Ngati chilichonse chomwe munganene kwa wina ndi mnzake ndikungonena zolakwa zakale ndi zina zotero, ndiye kuti mwina ndi nthawi yopumira.

2. Pakhala kusakhulupirika

Tiyeni tinene momveka bwino - kusakhulupirika sikutanthauza kuti ubale udzakhala wovuta nthawi zonse. Maukwati amatha kupulumuka, kwenikweni, pakhoza kukhala nthawi zina pomwe kuchira chifukwa cha kusakhulupirika kumapangitsa ukwati kukhala wolimba. Koma izi sizomwe zimachitika kawirikawiri.

Ngati pali kusakhulupirika muukwati wanu kuchokera kumbali imodzi kapena zonse, mwina chifukwa chinachake chikusowa, kapena mmodzi wa inu kapena wotopa / wosasangalala ndi banja. Ngakhale kuti ichi ndi chinthu chomwe chingathetsedwe, chingakhalenso chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za imfa ya banja. Kaya mwasankha kuyitsitsimutsa kapena ayi zili ndi inu.

3. Kumenyana popanda chifukwa

Maubwenzi abwino kwambiri amakhala ndi mikangano ndi kusamvana. Koma kusiyana kwakukulu pakati pa maubwenzi abwino ndi osatetezeka kapena maukwati ndi kwakuti mikangano imakhala yoipa komanso yowawa pamapeto pake. Mikangano yoipa imachitika popanda chifukwa china chilichonse kupatula kufunikira kugwetsa mnzathu.

Taganizirani izi. Kodi pakhala mikangano yobwerezabwereza chifukwa chakuti mumafuna kukhala wankhanza ndikupweteketsa wokondedwa wanu? Kodi panali chifukwa chilichonse cha ndewu? Ndiye, mukumenyana popanda chifukwa ndipo ndicho chimodzi mwa zizindikiro kuti ukwati wanu watha.

4. Kutukwanizidwa ndi mawu komanso/kapena kumumenya

Bwerezani pambuyo panga: Kuzunza sikuli bwino. Ndipo simuyenera kuchitenga. Komanso, si nkhanza zonse zomwe zimasiya zipsera ndi zipsera pa inu. Nkhanza zamaganizo ndi zolankhula ndi zopweteka komanso zopweteka mofanana ndi kuzunzidwa. Ndipo ndikofunikira kuti tizindikire izi.

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Ngati mtundu uliwonse wa nkhanza waloŵerera m’banja lanu, palibe chifukwa chokhalira ndi kuyesa kukhululukira kapena kuchikonza. Kuchitiridwa nkhanza ndi chizindikiro chakuti muyenera kutuluka ndikupita kumalo otetezeka mwamsanga, ndikutembenuzira msana wanu paukwati wanu womwe ukumwalira, wankhanza.

5. Muli wosungulumwa m’banja mwanu

Ichi ndi chizindikiro chobisika, chobisika chaukwati womwe ukutha kotero kuti nthawi zonse sichimawonedwa. Sitikulankhula za kukhala wekha ndikupatsana malo abwino komanso ofunikira m'banja. Uwu ndiye kusungulumwa koipitsitsa chifukwa ngakhale mutagwirizanitsa moyo wanu ndi wina aliyense mwanjira ina iliyonse, mumasungulumwabe.

Kukhala wekha muukwati ndi pamene umanyamula katundu waubwenzi wekha. Kaya kulera ana kapena kukonzekera tchuthi cha banja, zonse zimatengera kudzipatula kwako. Sizili bwino ndipo ndi chizindikiro cha ukwati womwe ukutha.

Magawo 9 a Ukwati Wakufa

Pooja akuti, "Zonse zimayamba ndi kusagwirizana, kusasangalala, komanso kusapeza mgwirizano uliwonse ndi mnzanuyo. Nthawi zina mgwirizanowu sukhazikika poyamba. Komanso, nkhanza zamtundu uliwonse ndi chizindikiro choyamba chakuti ubalewu ukuchepa. Kusalankhulana kumawononganso mgwirizano ndipo kumayika njira yoti zinthu zichitike ngati izi zitachitika."

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zizindikiro 15 Zobisika Koma Zamphamvu Zosonyeza Kuti Ukwati Wanu Udzatha Ndi Chisudzulo

Kotero, ife tiri ndi lingaliro lomveka bwino la zizindikiro za imfa yaukwati. Magawo a ukwati womwe ukutha amapita mozama pang'ono. Choncho, tiyeni tione magawo osiyanasiyana a ukwati womwe ukutha komanso tanthauzo lake.

1. Kusalankhulana

Pooja akuti, “Mnzanu ayenera kukhala munthu amene mungakambirane naye chilichonse—chabwino, choipa kapena choipa. Ngati mbali imeneyi ya banja ilibe kapena inalipo kale koma yazimiririka m’kupita kwa nthaŵi, nthaŵi zambiri zinthu zimasokonekera kapena sizimaulutsidwa n’komwe.

Mavuto olankhulana muubwenzi si achilendo. Koma iyi ndi gawo loyamba la ukwati womwe ukutha chifukwa kulankhulana ndi komwe mavuto ndi mayankho amayambira. Ngati simukulankhula konse, ngati nthawi zonse mumaopa kuti simungamvetsedwe nthawi iliyonse mukamalankhula, kapena mwatopa kwambiri moti simungathe kuyankhulana, kodi muli ndi ukwati wotsala?

“Ukwati wanga wa zaka 12 unali kusokonekera ndipo sitinkatha ngakhale kulankhula za zomwe zinkatisokoneza,” akutero Mandy, “sindinkadziwa momwe ndingamufotokozere mwamuna wanga za kusasangalala kwanga, ndipo iye sankadziwa momwe angandifunse za izi. Kusowa kwa kulankhulana kunkatipangitsa misala ndipo kunapha mwayi uliwonse woti tigwirizanenso. Kodi tingagwirizanenso bwanji pamene sitinkadziwa momwe tingalankhulire wina ndi mnzake? Zinkaoneka ngati ubale wopanda pake .”

2. Kukhumudwa

Pooja akuti, “Nthaŵi zambiri, anthu amalingalira okwatirana awo kukhala abwino.

Kodi sizingakhale zabwino ngati tonse tingakhale m'malingaliro athu, makamaka malingaliro athu achikondi? Tsoka ilo, kapena mwamwayi, maubwenzi enieni ndi ovuta kwambiri ndipo amafunikira ntchito yochulukirapo kuposa phazi lanu lomwe likuyenda movutikira mu slipper yagalasi.

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Mwinamwake mumaganiza kuti mnzanuyo ndi munthu wa maloto anu, munthu amene mungamutsegulire ndi kukhala naye pachiopsezo. Kapena mwina zinthu zinali zosiyana musanakwatire pamene munali pachibwenzi ndipo moyo unkawoneka ngati wamaluwa ndi utawaleza.

Kukhumudwa ndi chinthu chovuta kwambiri paubwenzi wachikondi. Komanso n'kokwanira kupangitsa ukwati kutha chifukwa m'modzi kapena onse awiri amaona kuti sakudziwananso. Kukhumudwa pozindikira kuti mnzanu si munthu amene mumamulota, koma munthu weniweni, wa thupi ndi mwazi amene amalakwitsa ubale ndipo sangathe kuwerenga maganizo anu ndi chimodzi mwa magawo a ukwati womwe ukutha.

3. Kupanda ubwenzi

Pooja anati: “Pali mwambi wakale wakuti khalidwe la kugonana ndi limene limachititsa kuti ukwati ukhale wabwino.

Ubwenzi wapamtima muukwati ukhoza kukhala wosiyana kwambiri ndi ubwenzi wapamtima mukakhala pachibwenzi. Ubwenzi wapamtima ukhoza kukhala wachizolowezi kapena ungachepe chifukwa, chabwino, mwakwatirana tsopano. Ubwenzi wapamtima ndi wanzeru muubwenzi nawonso ukhoza kutha chifukwa ukwati nthawi zambiri umaonedwa molakwika ngati pachimake cha chikondi. Ndipo mukafika pachimake, bwanji muyeserenso.

Kusoŵeka kwa unansi wamtundu uliwonse kapena mtundu uliwonse wa ubwenzi kumasonyeza siteji yofunika ya ukwati umene ukupita patsogolo. Apa ndi pamene inu muli, kwenikweni, kukokerana wina ndi mzake, mu malingaliro, thupi ndi mzimu. Palibe malo m'banja mwanu komwe mumakumana kuti mugawane malingaliro, kuseka kapena kugwirana, ndipo mwina simukudziwa momwe mungafikire wina ndi mnzake chifukwa kulumikizana kumakhala kovuta kale.

4. Kupatula

“Ndinakhala m’banja ndi mkazi wanga kwa zaka 7. Sitinadziŵane kwa nthaŵi yaitali tisanakwatirane.” Mwinamwake ndicho chifukwa chake, zaka zingapo zaukwati, tinadziwona kukhala ngati zidutswa za mipando.” Zozoloŵereka, koma zotengedwa mopepuka.

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Pooja akufotokoza chifukwa chake zimenezi zimachitikira: “Nthaŵi zambiri, anthu amafika pamlingo wokhala ndi zibwenzi za nthaŵi yaitali kumene amakhala ngati munthu wina aliyense wopanda moyo m’miyoyo ya wina ndi mnzake.

Pali chinthu chomvetsa chisoni kwambiri pa ukwati umene umasiyana kwambiri ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wako moti sumawaonanso ngati anthu ozindikira. Makhalidwe awo, zomwe amakonda ndi zomwe sakonda, sizilinso zofunika, ndipo ukwatiwo sulinso wofunika. Mutha kukhala alendo omwe amangogawana nyumba ndi satifiketi yoti mudalonjezana kuti mudzakondana kwamuyaya. Ukwati wopanda chikondi, wopanda chimwemwe, ndi ukwati womwe uli pamavuto . Ngati mukukumana ndi ukwati womwe ukutha, uwu ndi umodzi mwa magawo omwe mungakumane nawo.

5. Mwadutsa kusamala kapena kuyesa kupulumutsa banja lanu

Mwina nthawi ina mumaganiza kuti mukhoza kukonza banja limene likupita patsogolo. Kumene inu ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu mumasamaladi za kuyesetsa kukonzanso ubale wanu ndikupatsanso inu ndi banja lanu mwayi wina. Ndipo mwina tsopano, nonse mwadutsa nsonga yosamalira, kutopa kwambiri komanso osayanjanitsika kuti musayambenso.

Pooja akuti, "Pakhozanso kufika nthawi yomwe palibe mnzawo amene akufuna kuyesetsa kuti apatsenso mpata wina paubwenzi wawo . Izi zikutanthauza kuti asiya kale ubale wawo ndi ukwati wawo. Izi nthawi zambiri zimakhala zosabwerera m'mbuyo muukwati uliwonse ndipo ndi chizindikiro chodziwikiratu kuti ukwatiwo ukutha."

Nkhani zomvetsa chisoni, koma ndizabwino kuposa kukhalabe m'banja loyipa la ana kapena kungoti simunavomere nokha kuti palibenso chomwe chatsalira m'banja lino. Apanso, zingakhale zochititsa mantha kufika panthaŵiyo pamene muzindikira kuti mbali yaikulu ya moyo wanu ndi mtima wanu zatha.

Izi ndi, monga Pooja akunenera, kusintha kwa magawo a ukwati womwe ukutha chifukwa palibe mwayi woti m'modzi kapena nonse musinthe malingaliro anu mwadzidzidzi ndikusankha kuti mukufuna kupanga zinthu zikuyenda bwino.

6. Palibe kukhulupirirana Pakati panu

Nkhani zodalirana ndi zinthu zing'onozing'ono zomwe zimatha kuyambitsa maubwenzi abwino komanso athanzi. Kupanga chidaliro muubwenzi n'kovuta mokwanira, kulimbikitsanso kukhulupirirana chitasweka kumakhala kovuta kwambiri. N’kutheka kuti n’chifukwa chake, pamene kudalirana kwatha m’banja, kumaonekera ngati chizindikiro cha imfa ya banja.

“Kudalirana mu ukwati wanga sikunali kokha chifukwa chokhala okhulupirika kwa wina ndi mnzake,” akutero Ella. “Kunalinso chifukwa chodalirana ndi kukhala oona mtima pa chilichonse chofunika. Kumapeto kwa ukwati wanga, zonse zinali zitapita ndipo panali mavuto aakulu okhulupirirana . Inde, panali kusakhulupirika, koma ngakhale zisanachitike zimenezo, panali lingaliro lakuti sindingathe kumukhulupirira kuti angabwere kudzandithandiza.”

Kuti banja lithe kutha, payenera kukhala kukhulupirirana pang'ono pakati pa inu ndi mnzanuyo. Ngakhale zili choncho, chikhulupiriro chakuti uwu ndi ukwati woyenera kukonzedwa, kuti pali mpata wokonza zinthu bwino, kudzipanga kukhala mabwenzi abwinopo. Popanda zimenezo, mudzakhala pansi n’kudzifunsa kuti, “Ndi zaka ziti zaukwati zovutitsa kwambiri? Kupyola muukwati womwe ukutha kumatanthauza kutaya chikhulupiriro, mtundu umene simungathe kubwererako.

7. Zomwe mumaika patsogolo zasintha

Palibe lamulo loti okwatirana (kapena kunja) ayenera kuganiza ndi kuchita mofanana ndendende, kapenanso kuyamikira zinthu zofanana. Komabe, n’kofunika kwambiri kuti aziona kuti ukwati wawo ndi mgwirizano wawo n’zofunika kwambiri mofanana, kapena molingana kwambiri. Mambawa akafika pachimake, amangokhalira kuwongolera ndikutumiza chilichonse.

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Imodzi mwa magawo a banja lomwe latsala pang'ono kufa ndi yakuti zinthu zofunika kwambiri zasintha kwa m'modzi kapena onse awiri. Mwinamwake mwakhala munthu amene amayamikira malo anu ndi ufulu wanu kuposa mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu. Mwinamwake ntchito yawo yakhala ikuika patsogolo pa ukwati kwa zaka zambiri tsopano. Kapena mwinamwake mmodzi wa inu akufuna kukhalabe kumudzi kwanu kwamuyaya, pamene wina akufuna kufalitsa mapiko awo ndikukhala m'malo atsopano (mverani, nyimbo zonse za dzikolo zingakhale zoona!).

Ubale uliwonse wapamtima umabwera ndi mgwirizano wake. Koma funso nthawi zonse limakhalapo, ndani ayenera kulekerera kwambiri ndipo kodi pali mgwirizano wangwiro woti uchitike? Kodi pali zinthu zomwe simuyenera kulekerera muubwenzi ? Mafunso onsewa ndi ovuta, koma ndi zoona kuti ngati mwalekana kwambiri moti zosowa zanu zimalamulira moyo wanu kuposa ukwati wanu, mukukumana ndi mavuto aakulu.

8. Muli ndi mphindi yadzidzidzi yomveka bwino

Sikuti ndi chinthu chochititsa mantha kwambiri, koma nthawi zambiri, ukwati umafa pang'onopang'ono komanso pang'onopang'ono. Koma mkati mwa magawo a ukwati womwe ukutha, pali nthawi ya 'aha!'. Nthawi ya 'eureka!', koma mwina osati yosangalatsa kwambiri. Nthawi imeneyo mumadziwa motsimikiza kuti mwatha ndi ukwatiwu, kapena mwatha ndi inu, kapena nonse awiri! ndi nthawi yoti mulekanitse ukwati.

Itha kukhala nthawi yayikulu kwambiri mukakumana koyamba ndi kusakhulupirika kwa mnzanu. Kapena, mutha kuwawona akuwotcha tositi yawo pa kadzutsa m'mawa wina ndikudziwa bwino lomwe kuti iyi si nkhope yomwe mukufuna kugawana nayo chakudya cham'mawa kwa moyo wanu wonse. Kumveka bwino kumabwera kwa ife panthawi yachilendo.

Chloe anati: “Kwa kanthawi ndithu, banja lathu linali losasangalala, moti sindikanatha kutero. Panalibe nkhanza, ndipo pa nthawiyo sitinkadziwa za kusakhulupirika kulikonse. Ndiyeno, tsiku lina, mpirawo unagwa.

Tinkaonera limodzi TV ndipo ananena kuti sanakhale pa remote, koma ankakhala.

Monga tidanenera, magawo a ukwati womwe ukutha nthawi zonse sakhala omveka kapena amabwera ndi chenjezo. Izi ndi nthawi zomwe mudzafika kumapeto kwa chisudzulo chanu ndipo simudzafuna china chilichonse kuposa kumasuka muukwati uwu ndikudzifunsa ngati mukuyenera kusudzulana.

9. Mumasiya ukwati wanu ndikupita patsogolo

Kodi zaka zovuta kwambiri zaukwati ndi ziti? Mwinanso mutadziwa kuti pali vuto linalake koma mwatopa kwambiri kapena mukuwopa kuchita kalikonse kapena kukayikira banja lanu kwambiri, kuopera kuti mungawone ming'aluyo pafupi kwambiri. Koma pali siteji ina. Ndipamene mumaganiza zosiya kuyesa kukonza banja lanu lomwe likufa, kusiya ndikuchotsa moyo wanu.

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Pomaliza mwapereka zizindikiro kuti ukwati wanu watha, ndipo mwatenga sitepe yovuta koma yokhazikika yodzigwirizanitsa nokha ndikuchoka paubwenzi umene sunali wabwino kwa inu. Imeneyi ndi sitepe yomaliza m’magawo a ukwati womwe ukutha.

'Kusiya' sikumveka ngati chinthu chabwino. Chifukwa chiyani mungaganize zosiya ubale wofunikira kwambiri m'moyo wanu (kapena tikuuzidwa) zabwino mwanjira iliyonse? Koma mukudziwa kuti izi sizikugwira ntchito, ndipo ndinu okonzeka kuvomereza ndi kupitiriza ndi moyo wanu.

Mukakhala mu gawo la ukwati womwe ukutha, padzakhala kusakhazikika, kumverera kuti zinthu sizili momwe ziyenera kukhalira. Kenako padzakhala kumveka bwino komanso kulimba mtima kopanga chisankho ndikuchitapo kanthu. Mwina mungayese kukonza ukwati wanu womwe ukutha poyamba, koma kenako mudzazindikira kuti sukugwira ntchito, ndipo mwina suli woyenera. Kapena mwina mudzafuna thandizo la akatswiri, ndipo pankhaniyi gulu la akatswiri odziwa bwino ntchito za Bonobology nthawi zonse amakhala okonzeka kukuthandizani.

Kawirikawiri timauzidwa kuti ukwati ndiye maziko a ubale. Kuvomereza kuti ubale wofunika kwambiri pa moyo wanu komanso wa anthu uli pafupi kutha sikungakhale kosavuta. Ngati mukukumana ndi mavuto muukwati, tikukhulupirira kuti mudzazindikira ndipo mudzalimba mtima kudziwa nthawi yoti muchoke muukwatiwo.

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.