Inu mukudziwa bwino kwambiri kumverera kumeneko. Pali chinachake cholakwika kwambiri m’banja mwanu, ndipo simungasinthe maganizo akuti, “Mwamuna wanga sandikondanso.” Komabe, nonse mwapitirizabe kukhalabe m’banja mpaka pano. Iye sanalankhulepo za kulekana kapena chisudzulo panobe. Koma chinthu chimodzi ndi chotsimikizika: iye ndi wozizira komanso alibe chidwi ndi inu.
Izi zingakulepheretseni kusokonezeka. "Zizindikiro izi kuti mwamuna wanga sandikondanso kapena ndikuganiza mopambanitsa?" “Ngati mwamuna wanga sandikondanso, n’chifukwa chiyani ali ndi ine?” Kuvomereza ndi kugwirizana ndi mfundo yakuti mwamuna amene analonjeza kuti adzakukondani ndi kukukondani, mu matenda ndi thanzi, zabwino kapena zoipa, wakupezani kungakhale kovuta. Zingachititse kuti maloto onse a ukwati wabwino ndi wachimwemwe asokonezeke.
Kukufunsani kuti muvomere mwamuna wanu samakukondani ndi nkhanza. Koma kukhalabe mukukana, kuyembekezera kuti nsapato ina igwe kumangowonjezera ululu wanu ndi kutaya mtima. Ngati chinachake m'matumbo mwanu chikukuuzani choncho, mvetserani zizindikiro zazikulu zomwe mwamuna wanu sakukondani. Ndi foni yodzutsa kuti simungathenso kukanikiza batani la snooze.
17 Zizindikiro Zowawa Mwamuna Wanu Sakukondanso
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Carla anakhumudwa kwambiri ndi mmene ukwati wake unalili. Tsiku ndi tsiku mwamuna wake anayamba kukhala wodzikonda komanso wodzipatula. “Mwamuna wanga ndi wakutali ndipo alibe chikondi, mwamuna wanga alibe nazo ntchito zogonana kapena zamaganizo, zikutanthauza kuti sandikondanso ukwati uli pamiyala?” anatembenukira kwa bwenzi lake lapamtima, Simone, kuti amupatse malangizo.
Pofuna kumulimbitsa mtima, Simone anati: “Mwamuna wanu akamaoneka kuti sakuoneka kuti sakukondani, pangakhale zifukwa zambiri zimene zachititsa kuti asinthe khalidwe lake. Mwina akukumana ndi vuto linalake kuntchito kapena ali ndi nkhawa zina zimene sakufuna kugawana nanu.
Ilo silinali gawo. Izo sizinaphulike. M’malo mwake, Carla anakhala wosungulumwa kwambiri m’banja lake. Ngati nkhani ya Carla ikugwirizana ndi yanu, muyenera kulabadira zizindikiro 17 izi zomwe mwamuna wanu samakukondani:
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zizindikiro 10 Kuti Mwakwatirana ndi Munthu Wolakwika
1. Mwamuna wanu akuwoneka kuti ali kutali ndipo amafunikira malo ambiri
Andrea ndi Ron adaganiza zokwatira pamene adatenga mimba pambuyo pa zomwe zimayenera kukhala kuima kwa usiku umodzi. Patapita zaka zingapo, ming'alu inayamba kuonekera. Ron amanyamuka Loweruka ndi Lamlungu, kuzimitsa foni yake ndikukhala osapezeka kwa masiku angapo.
Andrea atasonyeza kusasangalala ndi chizoloŵezi chakechi, ankayankha moyankha kuti, “Ndikufuna malo anga. “Kufuna kwake kosatha kwa malo ndi nthaŵi yokhala yekha kunali chizindikiro changa choyamba chakuti mwamuna wanga samandikonda,” iye anauza mnzake chisudzulo chake chitatha.
Ngakhale kuti malo aumwini muubwenzi ndi abwino ndipo amapatsa mpata kukula, kuchulukitsitsa kungawononge mgwirizano wa okwatirana. Zizindikilo zina zomwe zimanena kuti mwamuna wanu akusowa malo osati malire ake ndi:
- Amacheza ndi anthu ena kuposa inu ndi banja
- Mwamuna wanu akamasankha anzanu nthawi zonse, ndi chizindikiro chakuti akupewa kucheza nanu nthawi zonse.
- Akadakhalabe ku ofesi ngakhale atafika kunyumba
- Kufuna kwake malo kumakupangitsani kumva ngati sakulemekeza nthawi yabwino ndi inu
2. Amalankhula ngati kuti palibe chiyembekezo chotsalira cha ukwati wanu
Mwamuna wanu akapanda kukukondani, angagwiritsire ntchito mavuto a m’banja monga umboni wakuti ukwati wanu sudzatha. Ukwati uliwonse umadutsa m'malo ake okwera ndi otsika. Koma okwatirana amene akupitirizabe kukondana amayesetsa kuzembera mabampu m’njira popanda kuwalekanitsa. Komabe, a mwamuna yemwe wayang'ana mokhudzidwa kuchokera m'banja sawona chiyembekezo chilichonse chochipulumutsa.
Amalankhula za ubale wanu ngati kuti walephera kale kapena kuti wathera pomwepo. Mwachitsanzo, ngati mumuuza zakukhosi kwake, akhoza kuyankha motsatira mfundo yakuti, “Ndi mmene zilili. Zimenezi zingakulepheretseni kuganiza kuti: “Sindingathe kuuza mwamuna wanga zakukhosi kwanga ndi nkhawa zanga, ndipo zikuoneka kuti sakufunanso kuthetsa mavutowo koma amangowagwiritsa ntchito ngati chifukwa chodzipezera kutali.
Izi mosakayikira ndi zina mwa zizindikiro za mwamuna wopanda chikondi, wosasamala. Funso lomwe muyenera kuganizira pano ndi lakuti: Kodi mungatani ngati mwamuna wanu sakulemekezani komanso sakukondani?
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zizindikiro 14 Zomwe Mwamuna Wanu Akufuna Kukusiyani
3. Iye ndi wokwatiwa kwambiri ndi chophimba kuposa inu
“Mwamuna wanga samandilabadira.” Kuzindikira uku kungakhale kokhumudwitsa komanso kowawa kwambiri. Koma mwamuna wanu akamasamalira kwambiri zida zake kuposa inu, kumakhala kovuta kuti athetse maganizo amenewa. Yakwana nthawi yovomereza kuti mwamuna wako sakukondanso chimodzimodzi.
Ngati mwamuna wanu amathera nthaŵi yake YONSE yopuma nkhope yake itakwiriridwa pa foni yake, tabuleti, zokometsera zamasewera, kapena pawailesi yakanema, ngati angakonde kuonera TV m’malo mocheza nanu, chimenecho n’chizindikiro chachikulu chakuti wasiya kukukondani ndipo wasiya kusamala za inu ndi banja lanu. Kuchulukirachulukira kwachiyanjano ndi dziko lenileni mwina ndi njira yake yoti asachite kapena kuvomereza malingaliro osakhazikikawa. Chenjerani, malingaliro awa agwira m'maganizo mwake ndipo technoference ikuwononga ubale wanu.
Komabe, ngati ichi ndi chizindikiro chokha chomwe chikukupangitsani kuti mupite, "Mwamuna wanga sandikondanso, ndichite chiyani?", Yang'anani khalidwe lake lonse. Ndi kusokoneza kwa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti, zipangizo zamakono, ndi kulankhulana pompopompo, ngakhale anthu omwe ali ndi zolinga zabwino amapezeka kuti agwidwa ndi intaneti. N'chimodzimodzinso ndi mwamuna wanu.
4. Mwamuna wanu akasiya kukukondani, amapeza cholakwika chilichonse chimene mukuchita
“Kodi chikondi chochokera kwa mwamuna sichiri chizindikiro cha mavuto kapena kodi ndimapanga mapiri ndi timibulu?” "Bwanji ngati ndi nthawi yovuta?" “Kodi n’zothekanso kuti mwamuna wanga sandisamala?” Ndikuona ngati mwamuna wanga sakundikondanso koma sandisiya. Ngati kukayikira kumeneku kukusokonezani maganizo, samalani ndi mmene amakuchitirani.
Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro 17 zomwe mwamuna wanu samakukondani ndikuti amapeza zolakwika pa chilichonse chomwe mumachita. Momwe mumavalira. Momwe mumawonekera, njira yanu yolerera, mawonekedwe a thupi lanu kapena "kulephera" kuonda, ntchito yanu, chakudya chomwe mumayika patebulo. Mpweya uliwonse umene mumapuma umawoneka kuti ukumukwiyitsa komanso kumukwiyitsa. Zinthu zabwino zonse zomwe mukuyesera kumuchitira zimabwereranso.
Ngakhale atapanda kukudzudzulani poyera chifukwa cha zonsezi, mungaone kuti akukutsutsani kudzera m’maonekedwe ake, nkhope yake, ndi kuusa moyo kwaukali. Ichi ndi chizindikiro chodziwikiratu kuti mwamuna wanu amakuchitirani zoipa chifukwa akugwa mchikondi, kapena mwina ali nacho kale.
5. Mumadziwa kuti muli ndi mwamuna osasamala akasiya kupereka nawo banja
Sophie, yemwe anakwatiwa ndi wokondedwa wake wakusekondale, anati: “Ndinayamba kumva kuti mwamuna wanga salinso wotanganidwa ndi ine kapena m’banja mwathu pamene anayamba kunyalanyaza udindo. kuthetsa mkangano m'banja, maganizo ake kwambiri anali "osati circus wanga, osati nyani wanga".
“Popeza ndakhala ndikumudziŵa kwa nthaŵi yaitali, zimenezo zinathetsa maganizo ake osintha.” Ndinangodziŵa kuti mwamuna wanga samandikondanso pamene anasiya kuthandizira ukwatiwo. Kodi mungadziwe bwanji mwamuna wanu akasiya kukukondani? Yang'anani zizindikiro zomwe zimakupangitsani kuganiza kuti mwamuna wanu sakufuna kuchita chilichonse m'banja:
- Amasiya kusamala za zibwenzi zanu, chizolowezi, moyo wabwino
- Sasonyeza chidwi chosangalatsa achibale anu ndi anzanu
- Amayamba kuchoka ku maudindo okhudzana ndi ana
- Sakhalanso kunyumba mokwanira. Iye sakhalapo kwa inu
6. Mwamuna wanu akapanda kukukondani, kulankhulana kumaleka
Kulankhulana. Kulankhulana. Kulankhulana. Ndi Grail Woyera wa a ubale wopambana. Chikondi chikhoza kukubweretsani pamodzi. Kukhulupirirana, kulemekezana, ndi kusirira kungalimbikitse unansi wanu. Koma kulankhulana moona mtima, kwabwino kumene kumalimbitsa ubwenzi. Kuyambira kugawana zinthu zing'onozing'ono mpaka kukambirana kusiyana kwanu, kulankhulana ndizomwe zimakupangitsani kuti mukhale ndi nthawi yayitali.
Mwamuna wanu akasiya kukondana, kufunitsitsa kwake kulankhulana m’njira iliyonse kumatha. Zingamve ngati wasiya kukamba nkhani, kapena wasiya kukulankhulani. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwazizindikiro zodziwikiratu kuti mwamuna wanu sakukondani.
Zimenezi zingakuchititseni kudziona ngati akunyalanyazidwa. “Mwamuna wanga amanditenga ngati kuti ndilibe kanthu,” iwe umatero. Sindimadana ndi kukhala wowona mtima mwankhanza koma malingaliro amenewo ndi olondola. Ngakhale atakusamalirani pamlingo wina, mulibe kanthu kwa iye monga kale. Simulinso patsogolo m'moyo wake.
7. Mwamuna amene samakukonda sadzakusowa
“Mwamuna wanga samandikondanso ndipo zimandiwawa,” adatero Tabatha kwa mkulu wake. Mwamuna wake, Mark, anali atanyamuka paulendo wantchito milungu itatu yapitayo, ndipo m’nthaŵi yonseyi, anali asanalankhule kwa nthaŵi zoposa zingapo. Izi ngakhale kuti Tabatha ankayesetsa kuti ayenerere udindowu.
“Samandiimbira kapena kuyankha ma foni anga, samayankha mameseji anga, ukamati ndimakukonda samayankha, padutsa masiku 10 tisanalankhule. mawu owuma ine. Zomwe ndikudziwa, akanatha kuzemberana ndi munthu wina kapena kugwa padziko lapansi,” adatero mokhumudwa kwambiri.
Atamuitana komaliza, anamufunsa kuti, “Mark, ukuona ngati sitikulankhulanso. Iye anayankha kuti, “Ndakhala wotanganidwa kwambiri moti sindingathe ngakhale kuganizira za inu.” Ngakhale kuti anali asanamve kukondedwa kwa nthawi yaitali, mawu amenewa anachititsa Tabitha kuona zoona zimene ankapewa nthawi yonseyi.
8. Mkwiyo umasonyeza mmene amakuonerani
“Mwamuna wanga samandikonda koma sandisiya. Joseline anadabwa mokweza pambuyo pa nkhondo ina yonyansa. Zinkaoneka ngati zimene anachita mochedwa ndi ndewu. Nkhondo izi zidatsatiridwa ndi nthawi yayitali yomupatsa iye kuchitira chete. “Mwamuna wanga amandinyalanyaza kwa masiku ambiri ndipo amachita ngati kulibe,” iye analira motero, ndipo anaona kuti inali nthaŵi yoti alankhule ndi njovu m’chipindamo. Choncho, usiku umenewo, iye anaganiza zomufunsa funso limeneli. N'zoonekeratu kuti sundikondanso. Ndiye bwanji osangochoka? Adafunsa mopwetekedwa mtima.
"Ndikadachoka kalekale ndikanatha, koma ndili ndi mwana wamkazi ndi iwe ndipo ndikufuna kukhala m'moyo wake. Kusudzulana si njira chifukwa ndikhoza kubetcherana kuti ungamuchotse kwa ine. Ndipo ukunena zoona, sindinakukonde kwa nthawi yayitali," adawulula mokwiya. Anthu amanena zinthu zoipa kwambiri akakwiya.
Pamene mwamuna wanu ali woipa mpaka pa mlingo uwu, zedi, izo ziyenera kupwetekedwa. Koma ngati mwakhala mukumva kuti chinachake chachitika kwa nthawi yaitali, muyenera kuganizira mawu akewo. Maganizo akakhazikika, pa nthawi yoyenera, mufunseni chimene ankatanthauza. Onani ngati akugwirizana nanu, amayesa kuchipukuta pansi pa kapeti, kapena akupepesa kwenikweni pa zomwe ananena. Khulupirirani matumbo anu.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zizindikiro 12 Kuti Ukwati Wanu Watha
9. Zizindikiro kuti mwamuna wanu sakukondani - Chibwenzi chimatha
Ndi zizindikiro ziti zoonekeratu kuti mwamuna wanu sakukondani? Nayi imodzi yomwe simungawerenge molakwika: chikondi chachoka m'banja mwanu. Ngati mwamuna wanu wasiya kukukondani, sangangoyambitsa kugonana kokha, komanso amakana nthawi zambiri.
"Mwamuna wanga amachoka pamene ndikuyesera kumpsompsona." “Bwanji mwamuna wanga samandigwira?” "Kusakondana kwakuthupi kukusokoneza ukwati wathu." Maganizo osasangalatsa ngati amenewa amakhala nthawi zonse pamene mukukumana ndi mavuto ndipo mavuto a m’banja lanu sakutha.
Ngati muli ndi mwayi, mutha kupeza zozungulira nthawi zina kugonana kwachifundo kuchokera kwa iye koma sizingamve chimodzimodzi. Ngakhale mutakhala mukuchitapo kanthu, mumatha kumva kuti ali kutali ndi inu. Iyi ndi njira imodzi yomvetsa chisoni kwambiri yozindikira kuti mwamuna wanu samakukondaninso. Kusowa kwa ubwenzi sikuyenera kutha chifukwa chosowa kugonana. Yang'anani zina mwazizindikiro zotsatirazi kuti mudziwe kuti muli ndi vuto laubwenzi:
- Wasiya kuyambitsa kugonana
- Ngakhale mutakhala pachibwenzi, akuwoneka kuti ali kutali
- Mutha kumagonana pafupipafupi koma osawonetsa chikondi mwanjira ina
- Sakugwira dzanja lako, kukugwirani mwanjira iliyonse, kukupsopsonani, kumakuyang'anani mwachikondi
- Mumaonanso kuti mulibe ubwenzi wapamtima
10. Mwamuna wopanda chikondi amamva ngati mlendo
Ngati palibe chikondi, mtunda pakati pa okwatirana umangokulirakulira. Kwa Hope, kuwerengera kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wake samamvanso chimodzimodzi pa iye kunabwera chifukwa chowona ngati sakumudziwanso. Kuti sanali munthu m'modzi yemwe adakondana naye ndikumukwatira.
“Tinali ndi mavuto kwa nthawi yaitali, tinkapita kwa nthaŵi yaitali osalankhulana, ndipo ngakhale pamene tinatero, makamaka zinali zofunika kwambiri—ana, nyumba, ndalama, ndi zina zotero.” Ndiyeno, tsiku lina, ndinamuona akulowetsa masamba a tiyi mumphika m’malo momwa khofi wake wakuda wamasiku onse m’maŵa.
Nditamufunsa za nkhaniyi, ananena kuti anasiya kumwa khofi kwa miyezi iwiri yapitayo atauzidwa ndi wantchito mnzake amene wakhala naye momasuka kwa nthawi ndithu. akutero Hope. Nthawi zina zinthu zing'onozing'ono zomwe zimatsogolera kuzinthu zazikulu monga kusowa chikondi komanso kusakondana muubwenzi ndi zizindikiro zochenjeza kuti ukwati ungakhale wopanda chikondi.
11. Mwamuna wanu samachita chilichonse kuti athetse chibwenzi
Njira zomveka zothetsera mikangano ndi chizindikiro cha a ubale wabwino. Mukakhala m'banja momwe onse awiri ali ndi ndalama zofanana, mumamenyana chifukwa mumafunira zabwino paubwenzi wanu. Nthawi zina, malingaliro anu oti 'zabwino' angakhale otsutsana, zomwe zimadzetsa mikangano.
Ngakhale zili choncho, simutaya mtima. Mumayesa. Mukumenyana, mumakangana, mumapeza pakati. Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zomwe mwamuna wanu samakulemekezani ndi chakuti mwamuna wanu sakumenyera chibwenzi. Amangovomereza monyinyirika chilichonse chimene munganene. Ngati ndewu ikabuka ngakhale zili choncho, mwamuna wanu sachita chilichonse kuti athetse mkanganowo. Ndinu amene muyenera kuchitapo kanthu kuti mubweretse mtendere.
Kaya pali kusamvana pakati panu kapena ayi, sizimamukhudza ngakhale pang'ono. M’kupita kwa nthaŵi, kupanda chidwi kumeneku kungakhudze inunso. Mukazindikira kuti “ndinasiya kulankhula naye ndipo alibe nazo ntchito,” nanunso mungakhale wopanda chidwi ndi iye.
12. Amakonda kukhala wokwiya komanso wokangana nthawi zonse
Popeza amadzimva kutali mmalingaliro ndipo wodzipatula kwa inu koma akuyenera kugawana nanu moyo wake, akhoza kukhala okwiya komanso m'mphepete nthawi zonse. Chimodzi mwazinthu zomwe zimatumiza chizindikiro "mwamuna wanga sasamala za ine kapena kundikonda" ndi chizolowezi chake chokangana ndi kuyambitsa mikangano nthawi zonse. Ngakhale kuti sangafune kumenyera nkhondo kapena kupitilira zinthu zofunika, motsimikizika adzatuluka thukuta tinthu tating'ono.
Mwachitsanzo, chinthu chaching'ono ngati kuchedwa m'mawa kapena kuyiwala kutaya zinyalala ikafika nthawi yanu kungamulepheretse. Angagwiritse ntchito tinthu tating'onoting'ono totere ngati chowiringula kuti akukalipire ndikuchokapo. Iyi ndi njira yokhayo yopangira mtunda wochulukirapo pakati pa nonse. Ngati m’menemo muli m’banja mwanu, ndi umboni woonekeratu wa mmene zinthu zakhalira. Muyenera kupeza yankho la zomwe mungachite ngati mwamuna wanu sakuyamikirani ndikuwunika ngati ndi kotheka kuti muthane nazo.
13. Makoma omuzungulira amaoneka ngati osagonjetseka mwamuna wanu akasiya kukukondani
Chimodzi mwazizindikiro 17 zomwe mwamuna wanu sakukondaninso ndikuti sakulolaninso kukhala m'moyo wake. Inu ndi iye mungakhalebe anthu ogwirizana nawo moyo omwe mukukhala m’nyumba imodzi koma simudziŵa kalikonse za zimene zikuchitika m’moyo wake. Iwalani kuthera nthawi pamodzi, kuchita zinthu zosangalatsa, kulimbikitsa mgwirizano wanu, simudziwa ngakhale mfundo zofunika kwambiri za zomwe zikuchitika m'moyo wake.
Kodi adapeza chiyembekezo chomwe adayenera? Kodi panali ulaliki wofunikira kuntchito sabata ino? Kodi chakudya chamasana masiku ano amadyera kuti? Kodi amacheza ndi ndani? Ndi chiwonetsero chanji cha Netflix chomwe akuyang'ana? Ngati simukudziwa mayankho a mafunsowa, muli nawo m'manja mwanu a ubale wosweka.
Izi zingakulepheretseni kukhumudwa pozindikira kuti "mwamuna wanga sandikondanso ndipo zimandipweteka". Ndikukumva. Tsopano ingakhale nthawi yabwino kuyamba kukonzekera masitepe otsatirawa kuti mutengenso moyo wanu ndi chisangalalo.
14. Kodi mungadziwe bwanji ngati mwamuna wanu sakukondani? Akhoza kugona kukusudzulani
Ndikufuna kumveketsa poyambirira kuti kugona chisudzulo nokha sizizindikiro kuti mwamuna wanu sakukondani. Mwina, vuto la kugona kapena zizolowezi zotsogola zikukupangitsani kukhala kovuta kugawana bedi. Ndizo zabwino kwathunthu. Mutha kukhala ndi ubale wolimba ngakhale muli ndi zipinda zosiyana.
Komabe, ngati muwona zambiri mwa zizindikiro 17 zomwe mwamuna wanu samakukondani muukwati wanu, ndipo pamwamba pa izo, mwamuna wanu aganiza zogona m'chipinda china, ndiye kuti muli ndi zifukwa zonse zochitira mantha. Palibe chikondi chochokera kwa mwamuna komanso chofuna kutalikirana ndi inu chomwe chimasonyeza kuti mwina watuluka m'banja.
15 Mwamuna wopanda chikondi amasiya kukonzekera zam’tsogolo
Ursula adafika kwa "mwamuna samandikonda" pomvetsetsa atawona kuti mkazi wake wasiya kupanga naye zamtsogolo. "Ndinkafuna kuyika ndalama m'nyumba yopuma pantchito, ndipo tinkapeza ndalama zogulira malo akumidzi koma adangowoneka kuti alibe nazo chidwi."
Pamene Ursula ananena mosanyinyirika, iye anati: “Ndani akudziwa zimene zidzachitike m’tsogolo? Ursula, amene tsopano anasudzulana, anati: “Ndinaona kuti moyo wanga wonse wandigwera pansi.” Mwamuna wanga sanalinso kundikonda, ndipo panangopita nthaŵi kuti banja lithe.
Kusiya kukonzekera zam'tsogolo kungawonekere m'njira zosiyanasiyana:
- Kudzipereka kusakhulupirika pazachuma
- Kusakonzekera tchuthi chilichonse chamtsogolo pamene chimenecho chakhala chizoloŵezi
- Kuchoka ku mabizinesi kukhala katundu
- Osawonetsa chidwi ndi zolinga za mnzanu
- Osagawana zolinga ndi zolinga zawo
- Kuchotsa chidwi pang'onopang'ono pokonzekera tsiku, ulendo wa sabata, phwando kunyumba
16. Amachitira ena chikondi ndi chifundo kuposa inu
Mwamuna wanu akapanda kukukondani, sipadzakhalanso chikondi muubwenzi. Kodi muli pamalo omwe mumangodzifunsa kuti, "Mwamuna wanga sandikondanso koma sakuchoka, chifukwa chiyani?" Kenako, mutha kuwona kuti machitidwewa ndi ofanana.
Mnzanu yemwe sanakonzekere kukusiyani koma akuwonetsabe kuti sakuyamikirani mungapiteko kungokhala chete-mwaukali khalidwe. Chizindikiro chimodzi chingakhale chakuti amakonda ena kuposa mmene amakuchitirani. Angakhale akuyesera kunena mfundo inayake kapena akuichita mosazindikira. Mulimonsemo, zinthu sizikuwoneka bwino paubwenzi wanu.
Kuyambira ana athu mpaka kwa galu, banja lake ndi mabwenzi, ngakhale achibale anga ndi mabwenzi, amachitira aliyense mwaulemu, chikondi, ndi chifundo.” Pamene zifika kwa ine, chimene iye akupereka ndicho kunyoza ndi kuwawidwa mtima. wachikondi chifukwa wasiya kundikonda kwambiri,” akutero Stevie.
17. Chinyengo ndi zina mwa zizindikiro zoti mwamuna wanu sakukondani
Inde, anthu amabera pazifukwa zosiyanasiyana osati chifukwa choti asiya kukondana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo. Kuyambira kufunafuna zachilendo ndi zatsopano mpaka chisangalalo cha kulawa chipatso choletsedwa, pangakhale zifukwa zambiri zomwe zimachititsa mwamuna kunyenga mkazi wake kapena mosemphanitsa. Komabe, ngati sikuti mwamuna wanu wanyenga komanso wayamba kukondana ndi mkazi wina ndipo ubwenzi umenewo wakhala chinthu chofunika kwambiri kwa iye mpaka kufika pololera kutaya ukwati wake chifukwa cha zimenezo, ndiye kuti mosakayikira ndi zina mwa zizindikiro zimene mwamuna wanu sakukondani.
Kodi mungadziwe bwanji mwamuna wanu akasiya kukukondani, mukufunsa? Ngati mnzanu akudzipereka kusakhulupirika m'maganizo popanda chisoni, ukwati wanu uli pamavuto aakulu. Kupulumutsa banja limene mwamuna kapena mkazi wake ali wosagwirizana m’maganizo komanso kudalira munthu wina kungakhale kosatheka. Tsopano mwafika pamlingo woti mungadzifunse kuti, “Mu banja mulibe chikondi. Ndiye muyenera kuchita chiyani? Tiyeni tifufuze.
Zoyenera Kuchita Ngati Mwamuna Wako Sakukondanso
“Mwamuna wanga sandikondanso” – kuvomereza zimenezi kungakhale chimodzi mwa zinthu zovuta kwambiri zimene muyenera kuchita. Kuposa pamenepo, ngati mudakali m'chikondi ndi iye. Koma ngati muwona zizindikiro zowoneka bwino m'banja mwanu, zikuwonetsa kuti mwamuna wanu sakuyamikirani, muyenera kuchitapo kanthu kuti mudziteteze.
Ndikwabwino kwa inu kuti mupende zomwe mungasankhe ndikudzipangira nokha chosankha m'malo mongokhala ndikudikirira kuti akufunseni chisudzulo. Izi ndi zomwe muyenera kuchita mwamuna wanu akayamba kukukondani:
- Vomerezani zenizeni: Dzipatseni nthawi ndi mpata kuti muvomereze kuti zomwe mukukumana nazo ndizovuta kwambiri ndipo mwamuna wanu wasiya kukukondani.
- Tengani nthawi yokonza: Lolani kulira, funani chithandizo, ndikugawana kuti mutha kukonza mphezi yomwe mwagunda nayo. Zomvera zanu ndizovomerezeka. Palibe chomwe mukumva ndikuchita mopambanitsa
- Sankhani zomwe mukufuna: Tsopano popeza mukudziwa kuti mwamuna wanu samakukondani, kodi mukufunabe kupulumutsa banja lanu kapena kupita njira zanu zosiyana? Khalani ndi nthawi yosankha zomwe mukufuna kuchita mwamuna wanu akayamba kukukondani
- Lankhulani ndi mwamuna wanu: Mukapanga chisankho, lankhulani ndi mwamuna wanu kuti muwone ngati ali pa tsamba limodzi ndi inu. Ngati nayenso akufuna kupulumutsa banja ngakhale kuti alibe chikondi kwa inu, ndi chizindikiro chabwino ndipo pangakhale chiyembekezo chakuti mukhoza kuukitsa mgwirizano wanu. Komabe, ngati sakufunanso kuti zinthu ziyende bwino, zingakhale bwino kuti musiye
- Pezani thandizo kuti mupulumutse banja lanu: Ngati nonse mwaganiza zoyesetsa kupulumutsa banja lanu, upangiri waukwati ukhoza kukhala mwayi wanu wopambana kuti mufike pamizu yazovuta zomwe zidayambitsa mkangano pakati panu poyambirira ndikuthetsa kusamvana kwanu. Mungakhale mukudabwa kuti, "Kodi mungapangire bwanji mwamuna wanga kundikondanso?", Koma kumbukirani, palibe wand wamatsenga yemwe angatsegule batani lachikondi mu mtima wa mwamuna wanu. Idzafunika ntchito yokhazikika kuchokera kumalekezero anu onse kuti imangenso kulumikizana uku
- Pangani kupuma koyera kuti muchokepo: Ngati mwamuna wanu sakufunanso kukonzanso ukwati wanu, ndi bwino kuti muthetse vutolo. Lankhulani naye za momwe mungasinthire miyoyo yanu, pezani loya wosudzulana, ndikukonzekera njira zotsatirazi. Pa nthawi yomweyo, kulabadira thanzi lanu maganizo ndi kulola kuti kudutsa magawo a chisoni kuti athe kuchiritsa ndi kupitiriza nthawi ina
- Kongoletsaninso ziganizo zaukwati wanu: Ngati mwamuna wanu samakukondani koma sakusiyani kapena simungakwanitse, zingathandize kulongosolanso mfundo za m’banja lanu. Mwina, tsegulani banja lanu ndi kuvomereza kuonana ndi anthu ena kotero kuti zosoŵa za m’maganizo ndi zakuthupi zisatsekerezedwe m’kachitidwe ka kusungabe moyo chipolopolo chopanda kanthu chimenechi chaukwati.
Zolozera Mfungulo
- Mwamuna akasiya kukondana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wake, amakhala kutali komanso kusokonezeka maganizo
- Kusagwirizana uku kungawoneke ngati kumafuna malo ambiri, osathandizira ku ukwati, kulankhulana kopanda
- Mwamuna wanu akasiya kukukondani, amasiyanso kuona tsogolo ndi inu, kukuikani patsogolo, kapena kusamala zofuna zanu. Mwinanso amabera kuti apeze zosowa zake
- Izi zikachitika, muli ndi zisankho zitatu: yesani kupulumutsa banja lanu, kuchokapo, kapena kufotokozeranso zomwe banja lanu liyenera kuchita.
Zingakhale zovuta kukhala ndi cholinga pa ubale wanu. Mwina, mwakhala mukuwona zizindikiro izi nthawi yonseyi koma simunafune kuwerenga kwambiri kapena kuvomereza zomwe zikulozera. Tsopano popeza muli nacho chakuda ndi choyera momwe chimakhalira mwamuna wanu akakusiyani, musayang'ane mbali ina. Palibe njira ina yothanirana ndi vutoli koma kudziyika nokha pamavuto ndikusankha komwe mukufuna kupita kuchokera pano.
Nkhaniyi idasinthidwa mu June 2023.
Ibibazo
Lankhulani moona mtima ndi mwamuna wanu, ndipo mufunseni ngati ali wofunitsitsa kukonza ukwatiwo. Ngati avomereza, mutha kuyesa chithandizo cha banja kuti muyambirenso. Ngati satero, muyenera kudzipezera loya wachisudzulo ndikukonzekera njira zotsatirazi.
Kukhala ndi mwamuna amene samakusamalirani kungakhale kovuta. Dzifunseni kuti n’chifukwa chiyani mukuona kuti m’pofunika kukhalabe m’banja limene simukukondedwa ndiponso kuti simukukhutira. Kenako, yesetsani kuthana ndi zofooka zilizonse zomwe zikukulepheretsani. Mukachita bwino, khalani omasuka.
Chiwawa, kusakhulupirika ndi nkhanza mu ubale kaŵirikaŵiri amanenedwa kukhala zifukwa zomveka zochoka m’banja. Komabe, ngati simukukakamirabe m’banja lopanda chikondi limene likukusautsani, ndi bwino kusiya n’kuyambanso. Zidzakupangitsani inu ndi mnzanuyo kukhala osangalala pakapita nthawi.
Ndikoyenera kuyankhulana naye mwachindunji kukayikira kwanu. Yankho lake lidzakuuzani za kuthekera kwa kuyanjanitsa kulikonse. Ngati sakusonyeza chidwi chilichonse chokhudza nkhawa zanu, muzichita ngati kuti mwamuna wanu sakuyamikirani. Kupulumutsa banja pamavuto ngati amenewa n’kosatheka. Ndikwabwino kuti mupende zomwe mungasankhe ndikudzipangira nokha chisankho m'malo mokhala ndikudikirira kuti apemphe chisudzulo liti. Funsani mlangizi wamabanja ndi chisudzulo kuti akuthandizeni.
Zikutanthauza kuti nonse muyenera kukhala pamodzi ndikukambirana za tsogolo lanu, makamaka ngati ukwati wanu umakhudza mwachindunji chisamaliro cha mamembala ena a m'banja, monga ana, odalira okalamba, ziweto zina.
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