Zizindikiro 21 Kuti Munthu Wanu Ali Ndi Nkhani Zamkwiyo Ndi Momwe Mungapirire

Ubale uliwonse umadutsa mu ndewu ndi mikangano, kukwera ndi kutsika. Mwina inuyo ndi mnzanuyo mwalankhulana mawu okwiya pang’ono m’njira imene mumalakalaka mutabwezanso. Koma kupsa mtima kukakhala kochulukirachulukira komanso kokulirapo, mungakhale ndi vuto lobisika kwambiri. Mulingo umodzi, mukudziwa kale. Ndi chifukwa chake muli pano, mukuyang'ana zizindikiro kuti mwamuna ali ndi mkwiyo.

Zingakhale zobisika monga kukhala wofulumira kuyankha chilichonse chimene mukunena kapena chodziŵika monga kukupatulani kwa mabwenzi ndi achibale. Popeza palibe template yodziwika bwino ya munthu yemwe ali ndi mkwiyo, kudziwa zomwe mukukumana nazo kumatha kusokoneza. Ndiye, mumayesa bwanji ngati kupsya mtima kwa mwamuna wanu kukuyenera kukhala nkhani zaukali? Chofunika kwambiri, mumaphunzira bwanji kuchita ndi munthu yemwe ali ndi mkwiyo?

Tasonkhanitsa zamaganizo a munthu wokwiya msanga, pamodzi ndi nzeru za akatswiri ochokera kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo Kavita Panyam (Masters in Psychology komanso wogwirizana ndi bungwe la American Psychological Association), yemwe wakhala akuthandiza maanja kuthana ndi mavuto awo a m'banja kwa zaka zoposa makumi awiri, kuti akuthandizeni kudziwa momwe mungayendere muubwenzi pamene mwamuna ali ndi vuto la mkwiyo.

Kodi nkhani zokwiyitsa zimakhudza bwanji ubale

Kukwiyira mnzanu kamodzi kokha mu mwezi wabuluu si zachilendo. Nthawi zina, mawu awo opweteka angakukhumudwitseni kapena zochita zina zingakupangitseni kudabwa. Mpaka pano, vutoli latha. Zotsatirapo zoipa za mkwiyo m'maubwenzi zimaonekera bwino ngati pali 'kachitidwe' ka kukwiya ndi momwe amaonekera. Zingayambe kuyambira kukwiyitsa mnzanu mpaka chinthu choopsa monga nkhanza zapakhomo. Ngati mukudabwa momwe mungadziwire ngati mwamuna ali ndi vuto la mkwiyo, onani ngati makhalidwe awa a munthu wosakwiya msanga akukhudza mnzanuyo:

• Kukuwa
• Kuitana mayina
• Kuphwanya zinthu
• Kusankha kosalekeza

Zonsezi ndizovuta chifukwa zimamusiya munthuyo kumapeto kwa mkwiyo - ndiko kuti, inu - mukumva mantha komanso m'mphepete nthawi zonse. Ndicho chifukwa chake nkhawa ndi mkwiyo m'mabwenzi nthawi zambiri zimayenderana - mkwiyo wa m'modzi umapangitsa wina kukhala ndi nkhawa. Kumeneko si mphamvu ya thanzi, mwa mulingo uliwonse. Zizindikiro zowopsa kwambiri za nkhani zakupsa mtima, m'pamenenso kuwononga ubale. Nazi njira zina zomwe mkwiyo umakhudzira ubale:

1. Zimakhudza kudzidalira kwanu

Ngati muli m'chikondi ndi munthu wamba, wodzikonda yemwe mawu ake amadula ngati lupanga, ubale wanu uli pachiwopsezo, mzanga. Cholinga chonse cha moyo wa munthu uyu ndi:

• Pezani zolakwika mwa ena
• Muzidzudzula okondedwa awo pa zinthu zopanda pake
• Achititse manyazi pamaso pa ena
• Kuchepetsa zomwe akwanitsa

Kuyembekezera pang'ono kuyamikiridwa ndi kuyamika mu ubale sikuli kochulukira kupempha. Komabe, mnzawo waukali sangathe kukwaniritsa zofunika izi. M'malo mwake, mudzapeza kuti mukungotchula mayina osalekeza, zomwe zidzakupweteketsani kudzidalira kwanu ndi chidaliro, kukupangitsani kukayikira mbali iliyonse ya moyo.

2. Zimakupangitsani kuyenda pazigoba za mazira kuzungulira iwo

“Mkwiyo wa chibwenzi changa umandipangitsa kuda nkhawa,” akutero Anne, wophunzira mabuku wazaka 21 ku NYU, “sindikudziwa kuti ndi chinthu chiti chomwe chingamukwiyitse. Tsiku lina, ndinaiwala kuzimitsa chotenthetsera ndisanapite kusukulu ndipo anandiyimbira foni pakati pa kalasi kuti andifuule. Ngakhale ndimamukonda kwambiri, ndimadana kuyenda pa zipolopolo za mazira muubwenzi wanga nthawi zonse.”

Kodi mukuwona momwe kusadziwikiratu kwa mkwiyo kungasokoneze kwambiri mnzanuyo? Munthu m'modzi akamayesa kuyang'ana zolankhula ndi zochita zake kuti winayo akhale chete, sangathe kusonyeza kuti ali weniweni ndipo si chizindikiro cha ubale wabwino.

3. Zimakupangitsani kubwezera

Ngati mwamuna wanu amakwiya msanga, pakapita nthawi, kupsa mtima kwake kumayambanso kukuyambitsani. Nthawi zonse muziyesetsa kupeza mipata yomusonyeza kuti akulakwitsa. Ichi ndi njira yaubwenzi wosakhazikika womwe ungakupangitseni kudzimva kukhala wolephereka. Pangopita nthawi kuti muzindikire kuti, “Zakwana!

4. Wokondedwa wanu amayamba kukuwopsyezani

Bwenzi langa Angela adandiuza nkhani yake yowawa ya ukwati wake, "Ndikuopa mkwiyo wa mwamuna wanga. Nthawi zina sindingakhulupirire kuti tinayamba ubalewu ndi chikondi, chikondi, ndi chiyembekezo chochuluka. Ndipo lero tili pano! Kodi mungachite chiyani ngati mwamuna wanu akumenyani? Choyipa kwambiri ndichakuti, popeza mwana akubwera posachedwa, sindingathe kulongedza matumba anga ndikungotseka chitseko pankhope pake. Sindinaganizepo kuti ndingakhale m'gulu la akazi omwe amakakamizidwa kukhalabe m'maubwenzi ozunza , komabe pano ndikumva ngati ndili muukwati wanga"

Nkhani ya Angela inandiopsa kwambiri. Ngati nanunso muli mumkhalidwe wofananawo, ndikukulimbikitsani kuti muganizire zomwe mungachite ndikuyang'ana njira yopulumukira. Kukhala pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwiya - kapena kukwatiwa ndi mmodzi - kuli ndi zovuta zambiri, koma nkhanza ziyenera kukhala zosokoneza. Imbani foni yothandizira azimayi, pezani lamulo loletsa, chokani ngati mungathe, munene za nkhanza - chitani chilichonse chomwe chingakutetezeni kuti mukhale otetezeka.

21 Zizindikiro za Munthu Ali ndi Nkhani Zamkwiyo

Vern, injiniya wa ku Toronto, anati: “Mwamuna wanga amakwiya ndikapanda kuvomerezana naye.

Chimodzi mwazinthu zodziwika bwino za amuna omwe ali ndi vuto laukali ndikuti amalephera kuwongolera momwe amachitira. Ngakhale ngati mumkhalidwe wake wodekha, wokhazikika m’maganizo awona kuti mkwiyo wake ukuyamba kukhala vuto muubwenzi, iye sangakhoze kudziletsa kuti asapse mtima pamene mkwiyo wake wayamba. Ngati nanunso muli mumkhalidwe wofananawo, m'pofunika kuti mudziteteze ndipo mwinamwake kuyesetsa kupeza yankho. Gawo loyamba lomwe likubwera ndikuvomereza vuto lomwe lilipo, ndipo kumayamba ndikuzindikira zizindikiro zomwe mwamuna ali ndi mkwiyo:

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1. Sangathe kulamulira maganizo ake

Kwa Lisa, zinali zovuta kuwerenga mwamuna wake Richard. Nthawi zonse ankadabwa ndi funso lakuti, "Kodi mwamuna wanga ali ndi mkwiyo?" Panali masiku ndi masabata pamene iye ankamusambitsa maluŵa, mphatso, ndi chiyamikiro. Mosayembekezereka, amamukalipira chifukwa adagula phala lolakwika.

Kavita anati: “Mnyamata akakhala ndi mkwiyo, amagwedezeka uku ndi uku,” akutero Kavita, ndipo akuwonjezera kuti: “Tsiku lina adzakusonyezani chikondi chachikulu ndi kukusamalirani, ndiyeno n’kudzakukalirani mwaukali.

Ngati mnzanu nthawi zina amakukwiyirani kwambiri koma amakunyozani kapena kukukalirani pa zinthu zazing'ono, izi ndi zizindikiro zakuti ali ndi mkwiyo. Kusadziwa momwe angachitire pazochitika zinazake ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zodziwika bwino za nkhani za mkwiyo. Zotsatira zake, mudzadzipeza mukuyenda mozungulira iye - ngakhale mutakhala mwamtendere kapena mosangalala kwambiri limodzi.

2. Apepesa koma osasintha

Monga momwe amanenera, kupepesa popanda kusintha ndi chinyengo. Ngati mnzanu akupepesa nthawi iliyonse akatulutsa mkwiyo wake pa inu koma sangathe kusintha khalidwe lake, ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zake kuti ali ndi mkwiyo. Ubale umakhala woopsa kwambiri pomwe mumakhala mumsampha wovuta wa mnzanuyo kukukalipirani kenako n’kuyesera kukonza zomwe zawonongekazo ndi kupepesa.

Akhoza ngakhale kupepesa moona mtima nthawi zonse, koma pokhapokha ngati atathandizidwa kapena kuphunzira kuugwira mtima, kupepesa kwake kumakhala kopanda tanthauzo. Mukudziwa kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu ali ndi vuto laukali pomwe ngakhale akupepesa motsimikiza komanso mochokera pansi pamtima, ena mwa inu amakana kukhulupirira kuti zinthu zikhala bwino.

3. Amakunyalanyazani m'maganizo

Kavita anati: “Ufulu wa kupsa mtima umaonekera m’njira zambiri, sungakhale ndewu kapena kulalatira kokha ayi. Amawonjezeranso kuti ndi mkwiyo wobisika / wopanda pake ngati:

• Palibe nsana wanu
• Sikuwonetsa chithandizo kapena chisamaliro
• Sizimapangitsa kuti muzilankhulana nanu tsiku lililonse
• Zimakupatsani inu kuchitira chete

Izi n’zimene zinachitikira Marita ndi Ben. Ben sanamukalipira Marita; Mkwiyo wake unali wozizira, wokwiya kwambiri moti ankangosiya kulankhula naye. Zinali ngati akumulanga nthawi zonse. Ankangokhalira kukwiya ndipo ankadzifunsa kuti, “Kodi n’chiyani chimachititsa mwamuna kukwiyira pachibwenzi?”

Ngati mukutsekeredwa kunja kapena kupatsidwa phewa lozizira pambuyo pa kusagwirizana kulikonse kapena kukangana, dziwani kuti izi zikhoza kukhala chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zomwe mwamuna ali ndi mkwiyo. Umunthu wodzitukumula, wodzitukumula ungawoneke wosangalatsa kuchokera kutali - chifukwa cha chikhalidwe cha pop ndi zoulutsira mawu zomwe zimatipatsa malingaliro olakwika aumuna ndi machismo - koma zimatha kutopa kupirira mwachangu.

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4. Nthawi zonse amafulumira kuweruza

Momwe mungadziwire zovuta mu ubale? Tengani kamphindi kuti muwone momwe mumamvera muubwenzi:

• Kodi wokondedwa wanu amakulimbikitsani, amakukwezani, ndikukupangitsani kumva kuti ndi wodalitsika kukhala nanu?
• Kapena amapeza njira zatsopano, zopangira zambiri zodziwitsira inu kuti simuli bwino mokwanira?

Mukuvala zovala zatsopano, iye akunena mawu opweteka. Mwasankha kuonera filimu limodzi, iye amadandaula za iyo ndipo amakuimbani mlandu chifukwa choisankha. Kaya muchite chiyani, sikokwanira kwa iye ndipo adzakuweruzani nthawi yomweyo. Ngati mukupeza kuti mukugwedeza mutu, dziwani: Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zochenjeza kuti mwamuna ali ndi vuto la mkwiyo.

Kavita anati: “Pamaubwenzi ankhanza, mwamuna kapena mkazi amayesa kusintha chilichonse chokhudza inu, ndipo amakupangitsani kudziona kuti ndinu wosafunika ndipo chilichonse chimene mungachite chidzakudzudzulani, ngakhale mutayesetsa kuthetsa vutolo, amakunyozani kwambiri ndi kukana kukonza zinthu.”

5. Amabweretsa zolakwa zakale

Kodi mumadziwa bwanji ngati mwamuna ali ndi vuto la mkwiyo? Ndewu zoyipa zimachitika. Amayesetsa kukugonjetsani ndi zolakwa zakale kuti akusiyeni mukumva ngati ndinu wamng'ono komanso wopanda thandizo. Nayi chitsanzo. Mwina pakadali pano mukukangana chifukwa cha chinthu chosavuta monga kukhala ndi alendo kumapeto kwa sabata. Pa ndewu iyi, iye:

• Bweretsani zomwe mudanena paphwando chaka chapitacho
• Akumbutseni za nthawi ija mudabweretsa maluwa kunyumba omwe adakumana nawo
• Kukuimbani mlandu chifukwa cha ndalama zomwe mudawononga pazakudya zaphwando miyezi isanu ndi umodzi yapitayo

6. Amakupatulani

Zina mwa zizindikiro zodziwika kwambiri zomwe mwamuna ali ndi mkwiyo ndizofunika kuwongolera mbali iliyonse ya moyo wanu ndikuchepetsa kudziyimira pawokha, pang'onopang'ono:

• Sakonda kuti mukumane ndi anzanu
• Amadana ndi inu kupita kukawona achibale anu pa Lamlungu brunch
• Iye angakuuzeni kuti: “N’chifukwa chiyani uyenera kugwira ntchito?

Kavita anachenjeza kuti: “Ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu ali ndi mkwiyo woipa, adzakupatulani ku mabungwe onse okuthandizani,” akuchenjeza motero Kavita.

7. Amakunyengererani;

Nazi zizindikiro zobisika za nkhanza za amuna:

• Adzakupangitsani kuganiza kuti ndinu wolakwa nthawi zonse ndipo iyeyo ndiye wozunzidwayo
• Adzakupusitsani nthawi zonse kapena kukumangani miyala
• Ngati munganene kuyesa chithandizo cha banja, nthawi yomweyo amakuuzani kuti sakufuna chifukwa zikuoneka kuti zonse zili m'mutu mwanu

Ngati muyesera kudziteteza, akhoza kuwoneka wovulazidwa ndikukuimbani mlandu womupweteka, pamene ziri mwanjira ina. Amuna omwe ali ndi vuto laukali ali ndi mbali yonyenga kwa iwo, yomwe simudzawona momwe izo ziliri kapena kuthana nazo mpaka mutavomereza zenizeni za mkhalidwe wanu.

8. Amakupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu osayenerera

Tonsefe tikudziwa kuti pali zinthu zina zopweteka zomwe sitiyenera kunena kwa okondedwa athu , kupatula mnzanu/chibwenzi chomwe chili ndi vuto la mkwiyo. Mkwiyo ukayamba, iye amachita zinthu mosazengereza kuti atulutse mkwiyo wake. Nazi zitsanzo zenizeni zomwe mungawerenge:

• Adzakuuzani kuti ndinu opanda pake
• Akhoza kukuuzani kuti muli ndi mwayi kuti ali pachibwenzi chifukwa palibe wina angatero
• Adzalemba njira zosiyanasiyana zomwe mwawonongera moyo wake

9. Akukupatsani malangizo olakwika

Mwamuna yemwe ali ndi vuto laukali sadzakhala ndi chidwi chanu pamtima. Ndicho chifukwa chake, ngati mutamufunsa malangizo, iye angakulimbikitseni kuchita zomwe zingamuthandize m’kupita kwa nthaŵi. Izi zitha kukhala zokhudza ntchito yanu, banja lanu, kapena nkhani zina za moyo wanu. Ndipo ngati uphungu wake ukubweza, iye adzapezabe njira ya kukuikirani mlandu ndi kukudzudzulani. Ngati mukudabwa momwe mungadziwire ngati mwamuna ali ndi vuto laukali, chizoloŵezi ichi chomakujambulani mopanda pake ndikuchigwiritsa ntchito kuti atulutse kukhumudwa kwake pa inu mu njira yonyansa kwambiri ndi kupereka kwakufa.

10. Amakunenani zoipa

Kuwonongeka komwe kumachitika chifukwa cha amuna omwe ali ndi mkwiyo sikumangokhalira maubwenzi awo okha. Mukapsa mtima, mnzanuyo sangazengereze kukuchitirani zoipa, mosasamala kanthu za momwe zimakupangitsani kuti muwoneke pamaso pa banja lanu, abwenzi, antchito anzanu, kapena anzanu. Iye akhoza:

• Auzeni banja lanu kuti ndinu mkazi woipa
• Uzani anzanu kuti simungathe kusunga chinsinsi
• Uwawuze abwana ako kuti sunadwale kwenikweni tsiku lija unanyamuka

Kwa iye, zonse zimangokhudza kuchepetsa mphamvu muubwenzi womwe ukugwirizana naye, ndipo mkwiyo ukabuka, sangasamale ngakhale pang'ono. Mavuto a mkwiyo mwa amuna amatha kusokoneza kuganiza kwawo ndipo okondedwa awo ndi omwe ayenera kuvutika kwambiri.

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11. Angakukakamizeni m’malo osatetezeka

Ngati pali zovuta zaukali pachibwenzi, padzakhala machesi osawerengeka. M’kati mwa mkangano waukulu, iye angakuthamangitseni m’nyumba, ponena kuti sangakhoze kuima pamaso panu, kapena zingakhale bwino kwa aliyense mutangochokapo. Apanso, kungakhale masana kapena pakati pa usiku, koma sadzakhala ndi nkhawa za komwe mungapite kapena ngati muli ndi ndalama zokwanira gasi m'galimoto. Zonse zomwe amasamala nazo, panthawiyi, akuwonetsa mkwiyo wake ndikuwonetsa mphamvu zake pa inu pokukakamizani kuchoka.

12. Amadzilanga yekha

Mkwiyo nthawi zonse sumawonekera kunja koma mkati. Kusadzikonda kumeneku kungamupangitse kudzilanga yekha m'njira zotsatirazi:

• Amadziloŵetsa m'chizoloŵezi choledzeretsa kuti athawe maganizo ake amdima / okhumudwitsa
• Sasankha ntchito zomwe zili zabwino kwa iye (ntchito, kujambula, etc.)
• Amadzikaniza chakudya chopatsa thanzi ndipo m'malo mwake amadya zonyansa
• Amadzivulaza yekha

13. Akukuopsezani kuti akumenyani

Mukuyang'anabe zizindikiro kuti mwamuna ali ndi mkwiyo? Ndi mbendera yofiira kwambiri ngati akukuimbani mlandu ndi cholinga choti akumenyeni ndikudziletsa yekha, kapena muwona kuti akudziletsa kuti asakumenyeni, kapena akuopsezani ndi chiwawa ngati simutsatira. Mfundo yakuti zochita zake ndi mawu ake zimakuchititsani mantha ndi chizindikiro chochenjeza chimene simuyenera kuchinyalanyaza. Chikondi chimayenera kukupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu otetezeka komanso osachita mantha.

14. Chiwawa ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zomwe mwamuna ali ndi mkwiyo

Ubale ndi munthu amene akulimbana ndi mkwiyo ukhoza kukhala wachiwawa. Mwamuna/bwenzi lanu alibe chochita pa iye yekha ndi malingaliro ake, ngati iye:

• Amaswa zinthu akakwiya
• Amakumenya
• Zimakuchititsani kuvulala kwakuthupi
• Zimakupangitsani mantha chifukwa cha chitetezo chanu

15. Akuchita ndewu

Kafukufuku wina wasonyeza kuti kupewa kupsinjika maganizo ndi kusatha kuthetsa mavuto pakati pa anthu nthawi zambiri kumawonjezera mkwiyo wa anthu okwiya. Zotsatira zake, amakankhira mavuto awo kwa anthu omwe ali pafupi nawo. Ngakhale ngati mnzanuyo sanakukwiyireni mpaka pano, iye ali ndi vuto ngati amakalipira anthu omwe ali pafupi naye ngakhale pang'ono, kwenikweni kapena molakwika. Choncho dzifunseni kuti,

• Kodi mukumuona akuchitira nkhanza mawu osalakwa a bwenzi lake lapamtima?
• Kodi amakwiyira operekera zakudya/madalaivala a basi pa zinthu zazing'ono?
• Kodi amakhumudwa/kukwiyitsidwa ndi ena kangapo patsiku?

Ngati inde, mnzanu/mnzako sakudziwa momwe angachitire ndikuwongolera mkwiyo wake.

16. Amadziona kuti ndi wolakwa koma sasintha

Mnzanga Sarah anandiuza posachedwapa kuti, “Mwamuna wanga amakwiya ndikasagwirizana naye. Amanena zinthu zonyoza kenako n’kulira chifukwa cha mmene amamvera kuti ali ndi mlandu. Koma chizolowezi choipachi chimabwerezabwereza ndipo nkhanza zamaganizo sizimatha. Kodi amandikwiyira ine kapena amadzikwiyira yekha?” Ngati SO wanu (monga wa Sarah) akumva chisoni koma sakugwirizana ndi kusintha kwa khalidwe, mukukonda mwamuna amene sakulamulira malingaliro ake. Mwina, akulimbana ndi kudziona ngati wosafunika kapena kusadzidalira komwe kumamupangitsa kukwiya.

17. Sadziwa kutulutsa mpweya wabwino

Pooja Priyamvada, mphunzitsi wa Mindfulness, akugogomezera kuti, “Mnzanu kapena mnzanu wokwiya nthawi zambiri amakhala wosaleza mtima ndipo safuna kumvera maganizo osiyana. Sadziwa ngakhale kukula kwa khalidwe lawo akakwiya. Ngakhale kuti ndi bwino kutulutsa mpweya, ziyenera kuchitika m’njira yopanda chiwawa komanso yoganizira ena.” Ngati lingaliro la kutulutsa mpweya wabwino ndi lachilendo kwa mnzanu, ndi chizindikiro chakuti sakudziwa momwe angathanirane ndi malingaliro osasangalatsa.

18. Sakupatsani malo

Kodi n’chiyani chimayambitsa mavuto a mkwiyo, mukudabwa? Kusadzidalira kwambiri komanso kumva kuti simukukwanira. Ndipo izi zimawonekera ngati nsanje/kulemera kwambiri. Zotsatira zake, mnzanu sangafune kukupatsani mpata kapena kudziyimira pawokha ndipo angakwiye mukaima paokha. Zizindikiro izi zochenjeza za mwamuna /mnzanu wolamulira ndi zizindikiro za ubale wopanda thanzi/woopsa womwe ukuchitika.

Mlangizi Shazia Saleem akuti, "Pali kusiyana kochepa pakati pa kulamulira ndi kusamalira. Nthawi zambiri, anthu amalamulira munthu wina mobisa ngati chisamaliro, osamulola kuti azidziyimira pawokha mokwanira."

19. Thupi lake limasintha

Kukhala ndi khalidwe losayenera kapena kukwiya ngati zinthu sizikuyenda mmene akufunira ndi mikhalidwe yofala ya munthu waufupi. Kukwiya kokwera kungayambitse kusintha kwa thupi komwe kumakuchititsani mantha. Munthu amene ali ndi vuto laukali adzawonetsa zizindikiro zotsatirazi za thupi:

• Amayamba kufiira pankhope ndipo ophunzira ake amasefukira
• Mphuno ndi pachifuwa zimatukumula ndipo akuwoneka ngati sangazengereze kupha munthu
• Kugunda kwa mtima wake ndi kuthamanga kwa magazi kumawonjezeka

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kumvetsetsa Mphamvu ya Nkhanza mu Ubwenzi

20. Amaononga zinthu

Kodi kukhomerera makoma ndi chizindikiro cha mkwiyo? Inde, kuwononga zinthu ndi mbendera yofiira kwambiri. Muyenera kuganiziranso kukhala mu ubalewu ngati:

• Amaphwanya mbale pansi
• Amagwetsa zinthu patebulo
• Amaphwanya zinthu zodula kuzungulira nyumba

21. Kudzivulaza ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zoti munthu ali ndi mkwiyo

Nkhani za mkwiyo zitha kukhala chitsanzo chabwino cha khalidwe lodzivulaza . Kumva mkwiyo ndi khalidwe laumunthu koma momwe timachitira ndi mkwiyo umenewo ndiye chifukwa chachikulu cha thanzi lathu la maganizo. Iye akulimbana ndi mavuto a mkwiyo ngati:

• Amadula manja ake
• Adzimenya yekha
• Amakankhira anthu kutali
• Amadzidzudzula mopambanitsa

"Kwa amuna omwe ali ndi vuto laukali, sindiwe munthu kwenikweni, ndiwe thumba lawo loponyera nkhonya - malo otayirapo zowawa zawo zonse," akutero Kavita. Mfundo yaikulu ndi yakuti mwamuna akamakweza mawu kwa mkazi, sizingakhale zophweka kumupirira. Mukamachita mantha kwambiri chifukwa chosunga mtendere, iye amalimba mtima. Ichi ndichifukwa chake ndikofunikira kuti muphunzire kupeza mawu anu otayika ndikukhala pansi mukangoyamba kuwona zizindikiro zomwe mwamuna ali ndi mkwiyo.

Momwe Mungathanirane ndi Mwamuna Wamkwiyo

“Mwamuna wanga amakwiya koopsa, koma ndimamukondabe ndipo ndimafuna kuyesetsa kuthetsa chibwenzicho,” anatero Millie, mphunzitsi wa sukulu ya ana. Monga Millie, kodi mumafunanso kuyesetsa kuteteza ubale wanu ngakhale kuti mnzanuyo ali ndi vuto? Ngakhale timasilira kuleza mtima kwanu ndi kutsimikiza mtima kwanu, tikufuna kunenanso kuti palibe chikondi chokwanira chomwe chingaike pachiswe chitetezo chanu komanso thanzi lanu lamalingaliro. Poganizira mmene zinthu zilili pa moyo wanu, kudziteteza kuyenera kukhala chinthu chofunika kwambiri kwa inu. Komabe, ngati mukuwona kuti pali chiyembekezo chosintha zinthu, nazi njira zingapo zomwe mungachitire ndi mnzanu yemwe ali ndi mkwiyo:

1. Mthandizeni kupeza zifukwa ndi zoyambitsa

Zikafika pa nkhani zaukali mwa amuna, nthawi zina sizingakhale pansi pa ulamuliro wawo kuti achepetse kudzikonda kwawo. Zinthu zambiri zamkati ndi zakunja mwina zidathandizira kumusintha kukhala munthu yemwe ali lero - wopanda chidwi, wamwano, komanso wowopsa pang'ono. Chinthu choyamba apa chiyenera kukhala kumvetsetsa chomwe chimayambitsa mkwiyo mwa inu mwamuna.

Mutafufuza mozama za zomwe zimamuyambitsa, mutha kupeza njira zabwino zothetsera vutoli. Choncho fufuzani:

• Kodi anali kuchitiridwa nkhanza/kuchitiridwa nkhanza ali mwana?
• Kodi iye akuyesera kutero kuthana ndi nkhawa za ubale nkhani?
• Kodi mkwiyo wake ndi njira yodzitetezera kuti athetse kudzikayikira kwake?

2. Khalani wachifundo

Chikondi, kuleza mtima, chithandizo, chifundo - palibe machiritso abwino kuposa awa padziko lapansi. Kukuonani mukuima pambali pake kungam’patse changu chakuchita mowona mtima pa zophophonya zake. Umu ndi momwe mungachitire ndi munthu yemwe ali ndi mkwiyo:

• Mpatseni mwamuna wanu mlingo wokoma wotsimikizira zabwino tsiku lililonse
• Yesetsani kumupangitsa kuti azitha kukambirana mozama komanso kukhala pachiwopsezo pazovuta zake zonse
• Zindikirani nkhawa zake ngakhale zitakhala zazing’ono kwa inu

3. Mlimbikitseni kuchita zinthu mwanzeru

Ngati mwakwatiwa kapena kukhala pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna yemwe anavulazidwa chifukwa chaubwana wawo, mungafune kumuthandiza paulendowu musanamusiye. Kodi mukuganiza kuti ali wokonzeka kuthetsa mkwiyo wake? Ngati inde, nonse mutha kutenga nawo mbali pazochitika zina:

• Yambani ndi kulemba zolemba kuti zikuthandizeni kusunga malingaliro anu
• Kuyenda maulendo ataliatali, kugwirana manja, kungakhale kopambana njira yolumikizirana pambuyo pa nkhondo yayikulu
• Kusinkhasinkha kokhazika mtima pansi ndi kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi kopumira kumathandiza kwambiri kuwongolera mkwiyo

4. Tulukani pamene zinthu sizikuyenda bwino

“Mwamuna wanga amandikwiyira ndipo zimandichititsa mantha,” akutero Lily, mmodzi wa oŵerenga athu a ku California, “Nthaŵi zina amasanduka munthu wosiyana kwambiri, amakalipira mokweza mawu, kundiponyera zinthu. Lily, simuyenera kuyima pamenepo ndikulekerera kukwiya kwake kosasinthika mpaka atakhazikika. Pezani njira yotulutsira nyumbayo ndikufika pamalo otetezeka.

Ngati mwamuna wanu akuswa zinthu atakwiya, izi ndi zomwe muyenera kuchita:

• Sungani manambala angapo othandizira nkhanza zapakhomo
• Muzidziwitsa anzanu komanso abale anu za vuto lanu
• Dzichotseni nokha pazochitikazo zisanasinthe kwambiri

Ngati muli pachiwopsezo, imbani 9-1-1. Kuti mupeze thandizo losadziwika, lachinsinsi, 24/7, chonde imbani Nambala Yachibadwidwe Yadziko Lonse pa 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) kapena 1-800-787-3224 (TTY).

5. Pezani thandizo TSOPANO

Ngati mnzanu/mwamuna wanu wakwiya pa zinthu zazing'ono, muyenera kuchita mbali yanu pomuthandiza kuzindikira vutolo ndikupempha thandizo la akatswiri. Nthawi zambiri, khalidwe laukali limayambira pa mavuto am'mbuyomu a ubale/mavuto am'banja pamene mukukula. Izi zitha kuthetsedwa pokhapokha ngati katswiri wa zamaganizo akulowererapo. Ngati mukufufuza njira zopezera thandizo kwa mnzanuyo, alangizi aluso komanso odziwa bwino ntchito omwe ali m'gulu la akatswiri a Bonobology nthawi zonse amakhala nanu.

Sikwapafupi kulimbana ndi kugwa ndi kutuluka kwa malingaliro ochuluka muubwenzi chifukwa mnzanuyo sadziwa momwe angaletsere mkwiyo wake. Kumbukirani, sindinu chopondera pakhomo kapena malo obwezeretsanso munthu yemwe ali ndi mkwiyo. Ngati apitiliza kukana kusintha, ikani patsogolo chitetezo chanu ndi moyo wanu ndikuchoka. Mukuyenera bwino.

Ibibazo

Njira Yabwino Kwambiri Yotetezera Ukwati Ndi Nkhani Zosathetsedwa

Nazi Nkhani Zomwe Zimayambitsa Chidani Muukwati

Kodi Muyenera Kukhala Muukwati Wosasangalala Ndi Ana?

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.