Ukuhlukana nozakwethu onama-narcissistic kungaba okuhlangenwe nakho okucindezelayo ngokomzwelo, njengoba ngazitholela mathupha ngemva kokuqeda ubuhlobo bami nentombi yakudala enganakile. Ama-Narcisists avame ukuba nesethi yezimpawu zobuntu ezimnyama ezingaba yindida futhi zilimaze kubalingani babo bangaphambili. Ngakho-ke kuyathakazelisa ukuhlolisisa i-psychology yokuthi ama-narcissists aphatha kanjani ama-ex awo, njengoba laba bantu bevame ukushiya umthelela ongapheli kulabo abake balokotha ukunqamula ubuhlobo nabo.
Isici esisodwa esiphawulekayo ukuthambekela kwe-narcissist kokukhohlisa kanye nomdlalo othinta inhliziyo. Ngemva kokuhlukana kwethu, intombi yami yakudala yasebenzisa amaqhinga amaningi okuhloswe ngawo ukulawula nokuqinisekisa ukuthi ukulandisa kobudlelwane bethu kuyahambisana ne-ajenda yakhe. Kusukela ekukhanyeni ngegesi kuya ekuziphatheni nomuzwa wecala, wasebenzisa la mathuluzi ngobuchule ukuze enze ukungabaza ngesinqumo sami futhi alulaze umuzwa wami wokuzethemba. Ukuqonda lokhu kuziphatha kungabaluleka kulabo abazama ukuhlukana nozakwethu wangaphambili we-narcissistic.
Ingabe Ama-Narcissists Ayahlupheka Ngemva Kokuhlukana?
Okuqukethwe
Ngemva kokuhlukana nomuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza, izici zabo zokuzikhukhumeza kanye nezindlela zabo zokubhekana nazo ziyavela phambili. Njengomuntu oye wadlula olwandle olunesivunguvungu lokuhlukana nomuntu owayethanda ukuzikhukhumeza, ngingakhuluma kabanzi ngesipiliyoni sabo sangemva kokuhlukana. Nakuba kungase kube yinto ekhangayo ukukholelwa ukuthi abantu abathanda ukuzikhukhumeza baphuma bengenawo amanxeba ekubhujisweni kobuhlobo, ukuhlolisisa kuveza indaba ehlukile. Ake sihlole ukuthi abantu abathanda ukuzikhukhumeza bahlupheka kanjani ngemva kokuhlukana, sihlole uhlobo lwabo oluhlukile lokuphazamiseka ngokomzwelo.
- I-Ego ilimele, hhayi inhliziyo: Kubantu abasebenzisa ama-narcissists, umthombo oyinhloko wokuhlupheka ulele ekuziboneni kwabo okukhulu, kunokunqanyulwa kokuxhumana okujulile ngokomzwelo.
- Ukulawula kususiwe: Ukuhlukana kuphazamisa i umuzwa wokulawula we-narcissist, okudala imizamo enzima yokuthola ukubusa futhi ihlenge ukuzethemba kwabo okwenyukayo nokungamanga
- Ubuhlungu obufihliwe ngemuva kokuzikhukhumeza: Ngaphandle, ama-narcissists angase aveze umoya wokunganaki noma wokuzikhukhumeza, kodwa ngaphansi, imizwa yokwenqatshwa nokulahlwa ikhula. Yilokhu okwenza kubonakale sengathi ama-narcissists ayawazonda ama-ex awo
- Ubudlelwano bokubuyela emuva okusheshayo: Imvamisa, ama-narcisists afuna ama-rebounds asheshayo ukuze aqinisekise kabusha ukufisa kwawo futhi amboze isiphithiphithi sangaphakathi ngokuqinisekiswa kwangaphandle.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimpawu Eziyi-13 Zomuntu Othanda Ukuzikhukhumeza Ebuhlotsheni Nokuthi Ungabhekana Kanjani Nomuntu Oyedwa
Ngokuphathelene nokufihla ubuhlungu komuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza ngemuva komoya wokuzikhukhumeza, olunye ucwaningo luthole ukuthi abantu abathanda ukuzikhukhumeza bangaze bafike ezingeni lokuzama ukuzibulala ngenkathi beqhubeka nokuphika ukuhlupheka kwabo: “Ukwamukelwa kwabesilisa abathathu abangacindezelekile esibhedlele ngenxa yezifo zengqondo abaphunyuke ekuzilimazeni okubulalayo kwanikeza ithuba lokufunda ngokuhleleka kobuntu babo. Amaphutha emisebenzini yokulawula ukuthinteka kanye nobufakazi bokuzikhukhumeza okubangelwa yizifo kwatholakala futhi kwahlolwa … Ngamunye wenqatshwa inhloso yokuzibulala, futhi akekho owavuma ukuthi wayenesipiliyoni sokucindezeleka noma isifiso sokufa. Ngamunye wenqaba futhi ukuziphatha kwakhe kokuzibulala kwakuhilela izingozi ezinkulu, futhi ngamunye wenqaba ukubaluleka kwezinto ezibangela ukucindezeleka ezisobala nezibonakalayo njengezimbangela zalokho.”
Njengoba sihlola ubunzima bokuthambekela kokuzikhukhumeza kanye nokuhlupheka ngemva kokuhlukana, umbuzo uphakama ngokwemvelo: Ingabe abantu abathanda ukuzikhukhumeza bayabakhumbula abantu abake baba ngabokuqala, noma ingabe isimo sabo sengqondo asinayo imizwa enjalo? Indlela yokwazi ukuthi umuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza uqedile ngawe ingaba yimfihlakalo, ngakho ake sichaze lesi sici sokuziphatha komuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza.
Ingabe AmaNarcissists Aphuthelwa Ama-Ex Awo?
Ingabe abantu abathanda ukuzikhukhumeza bazizwa ngempela izinhlungu zokukhumbula abalingani babo bangaphambili? Futhi abantu abathanda ukuzikhukhumeza bazizwa kanjani uma uqhubeka? Njengoba siqhubeka nale mibuzo, kubalulekile ukuxazulula izingqimba eziyinkimbinkimbi zengqondo yokuzikhukhumeza ukuze sibone ukuthi ibumba kanjani amandla abo ngemva kokuhlukana njengokuzisola kwabadubuli . Ingabe abantu abathanda ukuzikhukhumeza baxhumana kuphela nabantu abathile ababengabosha? Ingabe abantu abathanda ukuzikhukhumeza, abaqhutshwa yisidingo esikhulu sokunconywa nokulawulwa, bayamkhumbula ngempela umuntu ababenobuhlobo naye?
Nazi ezinye izinto abazilangazelelayo uma bethi baphuthelwa yi-ex yabo:
- Ukulawula kalula: Ama-Narcissists athambekele ekwakheni ubudlelwano obusekelwe ekutheni ubani abangamnqoba, okungaba nomthelela ekushubeni kwemizwa yabo ngemuva kokuhlukana. Ngakho uma i-narcissist ifuna ukuba abangani ngemva kokuhlukana, qaphela ngoba kungase kube iqhinga lokulawula
- I-Ego boost: Lokho ama-narcisists angase aphuthelwe ngaphezu komuntu ukukhuthazwa kwe-ego etholakala ebuhlotsheni. Ukungabi khona kokunconywa njalo kungabashiya belangazelele lokho abake bakujabulela. Ngakho-ke i-narcissist ifuna ukuthi ubuye ngenxa yalokhu kuqinisekiswa okungekho
- Inguqulo efanelekile yobudlelwano: Ukwenza kahle uma kuqhathaniswa neqiniso kuyimpi eqhubekayo nama-narcisists njengoba ngokuvamile ehlobisa ozakwethu phakathi nobudlelwano, bakhe isithombe esingahle singahambelani neqiniso. Ukuphuthelwa yi-ex yabo kungase kube okuningi mayelana nokuphuthelwa yinguqulo efanelekile kunomuntu wangempela, ikakhulukazi ku-a ubudlelwano be-narcissistic nozwela
- Ukubheka kabusha inkazimulo yabo edlule: I-Nostalgia yezikhathi lapho ubudlelwano busebenze njengomthombo wokunikezwa kwe-narcissistic kungaholela kumqondo ohlanekezelwe wokulahlekelwa umlingani wabo wangaphambili. Futhi, ukubanqabela ukunikezwa kwabo kwe-narcissistic yikho okubenza babe impi futhi kungani kungase kubonakale sengathi ama-narcissists ayawazonda ama-exs awo.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ingabe Abantu Abathanda Ukuzithanda Bayakwazi Ukuthanda?
Ngokuphathelene nokusebenzelana nomuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza othanda kakhulu owake waba ngumlingani wakhe, umsebenzisi we-Reddit uphawula okuthile ngamadoda. Bachaza ukuthi uma usumshiyile umuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza, uzobonisa imizwa yakhe yangempela ngale ndlela: “Akakukhumbuli ‘wena.’ Uyakukhumbuli lokho ‘okwakho’ okunikezile. Faka esikhundleni ‘wena’ kuye/kuye futhi yileyo ndlela umuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza akubona ngayo. Indlela yokufeza okuthile. Abantu abangaphambi kwakho, abantu abalandela wena. Akunandaba ngoba banobugovu futhi bamane bathatha futhi bathathe uze uphelelwe amandla.”
Manje ake sihlole ukuthi ingabe ama-narcissists azwa umuzwa wangempela wokuphuthelwa ama-ex awo. Esigabeni esilandelayo, sizocubungula ukuthi ingabe ama-narcissists ayafuna ngempela yini ukubuyela kwabalingani babo bangaphambili noma uma izisusa zabo zikwenye indawo.
Ingabe AmaNarcissists Afuna Ukubuyela Ku-Ex Yawo?
Ukungena emkhakheni walokho okwenziwa ngumuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza ekupheleni kobudlelwano kusiletha embuzweni othakazelisayo: Ingabe abantu abathanda ukuzikhukhumeza banesifiso sangempela sokuvuselela ubuhlobo nabalingani babo bangaphambili? Ingabe abantu abathanda ukuzikhukhumeza baxhumana kuphela nabantu abathile abake baba ngabalingani babo - labo abaziyo ukuthi bangabalawula? Ukuqonda izisusa zezenzo zomuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza kubalulekile ekubhekaneni nokuxhumana kwakhe ngemva kokuhlukana.
Njengoba sihlola ukuthi ingabe ama-narcissists ayafuna yini ukubuyela kwabawayekade ekhona, kuba sobala ukuthi izisusa zabo zivame ukuboshelwa ngokuyinkimbinkimbi esidingweni sabo sokulawula, ukuqinisekiswa, kanye nokugcinwa kobukhulu bawo, nakuba ukuzibona okungamanga. Nazi ezinye izizathu zokubuyelana nabalingane babo bangaphambili:
- Ukubuyiselwa kwe-Ego: Ama-Narcissists angase ajabulele umqondo wokubuyisana njengendlela yokubuyisela i-ego yawo elimele futhi aphinde athole umuzwa wokulawula ukulandisa kobudlelwane.
- Ifuna ukunikezwa kwe-narcissistic: Isifiso sokuxhuma kabusha ngokuvamile sibangelwa isidingo sokunikezwa okusha kokunconywa nokuqinisekiswa, okuhlinzekwe nguzakwethu wangaphambili. Uma i-narcissist ifuna ukuba abangani ngemuva kokwehlukana, ngokuvamile kusho ukuthi ulandela lokhu kunikezwa
- Izinhloso ezikhohlisayo: AmaNarcisists angase azwakalise isifiso sokuhlangana, hhayi ngenxa yothando lwangempela, kodwa njengesinyathelo samasu. ukukhwabanisa kwezothando phezu komlingani wabo wangaphambili
- Umjikelezo we-idealization nokwehla kwamanani: Imvelo ejikelezayo yobudlelwano be-narcissistic ingase iholele esifisweni sokubuyela emuva, iqhutshwa yisigaba sokwenza kahle. Lesi sigaba silandelwa ukwehliswa kwenani. Konke lokhu kudala inkohliso yesikhashana yokwenza ngcono
Omunye umsebenzisi we-Reddit ukhuluma ngentombi yakhe yangaphambilini eqhoshayo efuna lokhu kuphakelwa okuqhoshayo kuye: “Owami ungitshele ukuthi uyamkhumbula ‘uTim omdala.’ Ngaphendula ‘uTim omdala’ owamxosha futhi wamshiya ngazo zonke lezo zikhathi? ‘uTim omdala’ owawuzohlala amasonto nezinyanga ungamnaki ukuthi ufile noma uyaphila? Ababheki lutho olungcwele, ingasaphathwa eyomunye umuntu, ngaphandle kwabo.”
Uma ama-narcissist evakashela kabusha ubudlelwano bangaphambilini, kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi babaphatha kanjani abantu bakudala kulezi zimo futhi, okubaluleke kakhulu, ukuthi umuntu angakuzulazula kanjani ekusebenzelaneni okunjalo. Esigabeni esilandelayo, sizohlola ukuthi ama-narcissists aphatha kanjani abantu bakudala futhi sinikeze nemininingwane yokuthi bangaphendula kanjani ngempumelelo kulezi zimo eziyinselele.
Indlela AmaNarcissists Aphatha Ngayo Ama-Ex Awo Kanye Nendlela Yokuphendula
Ngisho noma ubuhlobo buphela, ukuhlukunyezwa okunobugovu cishe kuzoqhubeka. Umphumela wokuhlukana nomuntu onobugovu uvame ukuveza umdanso oyinkimbinkimbi wokuziphatha okukhohlisayo kanye nokungakhululeki ngokomzwelo . “Abantu abanobugovu bazizwa kanjani uma uqhubeka?” Ngabuza umngane wami, obelokhu ebhekene nomonakalo obangelwe umlingani wakhe wangaphambili ayezicabangela yena.
Ubuye wathi, "Ngokwami okwenzeka, uma usuyekile umgadli, uzokwenza konke okusemandleni ukuze avikele noma adlise ubuyena bakhe. Umuntu othanda inzondo uvame ukubonwa ngabanye. Kodwa ukubhekana nakho kwakungikhathaza kakhulu. Ngangingeke ngikwazi ukuhlala enengqondo ngaphandle kokusekelwa yilabo abakholelwa uhlangothi lwami lwendaba."
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izinto Ezingama-30 Ezikhohlisayo Ezishiwo Abantu Abazikhukhumezayo Empikiswaneni Nokuthi Zisho Ukuthini Ngempela
Ukuqonda indlela ama-narcissists aphatha ngayo abantu bakudala kubalulekile kulabo abazulazula endaweni eyinselele yokusebenzisana kwangemva kobudlelwano. Ngakho-ke ake sikhulume ngamaphethini avamile okuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic aboniswa yiwo uma senihlukene. Siphinde sinikeze amasu asebenzayo okubhekana nalokhu kuhlangana okuvame ukuba nezinxushunxushu.
1. Bazokucasula
Abantu abane-Narcissistic Personality Disorder abanalo uzwela, okubenza bakwazi ukusebenzisa amaqhinga okuzikhukhumeza ukuze baqede ukuzethemba kwakho kanye nomuzwa wakho ngeqiniso. Bahlwanyela imbewu yokungabaza ngokusebenzisa:
- Ukuphika okuqhubekayo
- Ukululaza okuhlangenwe nakho kwakho
- Ngisho nokubhalwa kabusha kwemicimbi
Lokhu kunukubezwa ngokomzwelo kushiya lowo owayenguzakwethu ebuza ukuhluzeka kwengqondo nezinkumbulo zabo. Idala indawo enobuthi lapho inguqulo yemicimbi ye-narcissist ifika kuqala, ithelele ingqondo yakho ngokudideka nokungabaza.
Indlela Yokuphendula: Ukubhala phansi ukuxhumana kungasiza. Gcina amarekhodi ezingxoxo nezehlakalo ukuze uzivikele ekushisweni yigesi kanye nokusolwa ngamanga. Ukwenza lokhu cishe ngeke kumenze umuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza avume ububi bakhe kodwa kuzokuvikela ekubeni uzizwe sengathi ucabanga izinto.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ukukhohlisa Ebudlelwaneni - Izimpawu Eziyi-11 Ezicashile Zokuthi Uyisisulu
2. Bazozama unxantathu
I-Triangulation isu elibaliwe le-narcissistic elihloselwe ukugcina ukulawula imizwa. Ngokwethula umuntu wesithathu - kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ungokoqobo noma uyabonwa - endabeni, i-narcissist ivusa imizwa yomona, ukuncintisana, nokungavikeleki kozakwethu wangaphambili. Futhi, uma ekopela manje futhi efuna ukuba abangani, maningi amathuba okuthi azame ukusebenzisa leli qhinga kuwe. Noma ngabe ukubukisa ngobudlelwano obusha noma ukusebenzelana okuhlakaniphile, leli qhinga lokulawula lisebenza ukukhohlisa imizwa, libe nomthelela, futhi ligcine lowo owayenguzakwethu ebambeke kuwebhu yamaqhinga e-narcissist.
Indlela Yokuphendula: Qaphela inhloso yomuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza ngokuzama ukukwenza ube nomona . Ukuqaphela ukuthi unxantathu uyisinyathelo sokuqala ekunciphiseni umthelela wawo. Gwema ukubandakanyeka ezingxabanweni nomuntu wesithathu noma ukuveza umona osobala, njengoba lokhu kubhebhethekisa ukukhohliswa komuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza.
3. Bazokunikeza impatho yokuthula
Abantu abathanda ukuzithanda ngokweqile baphatha abantu ababethandana nabo njengohlobo olunamandla lokuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo . Kungani benza lokhu? Ake sibone:
- Kwenzelwa ukukhombisa ukubusa nokubhebhethekisa ukukhathazeka kozakwethu bakudala
- Ngokuhoxisa ukuxhumana kungazelelwe, i-narcissist ishiya lowo owayenguzakwethu esimweni sokungaqiniseki kanye nesifiso sokuxazulula izinkinga.
- Leli qhinga elibaliwe liklanyelwe ukugcina ukulawula, njengoba ukwelashwa buthule kukhuluma ukuthi i-narcissist inamandla okunikeza noma ukugodla uxhumano lomzwelo. AmaNarcisists athanda ukubamba amandla phezu komuntu, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi hlobo luni lwamandla
Indlela Yokuphendula: Hlala uzolile futhi ukhululekile. Ungavumeli ukuziphatha komuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza kubangele ukukhungatheka noma ukuphelelwa yithemba, okungenani hhayi phambi kwakhe. Gwema ukucela noma ukuncenga ukunakwa. Ukuvumela ukuncenga ngokomzwelo kuzoqinisa inkolelo yomuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza ukuthi ukwelapha buthule kuyithuluzi eliphumelelayo lokulawula.
4. I-ex yakho e-narcissistic izosebenzisa i-hoovering
Ngemva kokuhlukana, ama-narcissists avame ukuzibandakanya e-hoovering, umjikelezo okhohlisayo wesiteji sokucabanga okulandelwa ukwehla kwenani okuhloswe ukuheha ozakwethu wangaphambili ukuthi abuyele ebudlelwaneni. Kungumjikelezo wezigaba ezintathu lapho i-narcissist ifuna ukuphinda ilawule imizwelo yozakwethu wangaphambili futhi ibukele phansi ukuzethemba kwabo, okudala umjikelezo obhebhethekisa ukuhlukumezeka ngokomzwelo nokuncika.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izinhlobo Ezi-6 Zokuxhashazwa Kwemizwa Namathiphu Ochwepheshe Okufanele Uwaqaphele
Lezi yizigaba ezintathu zokuziphatha kwabo:
- Ukuboniswa okungapheli kothando
- Izithembiso zamanga zoshintsho
- Futhi ukunakwa ngezikhathi ezithile ngendlela yokudumisa ngokweqile
Indlela yokuphendula: Qaphela ukuzikhukhumeza okuyimfihlo kokuzikhukhumeza futhi ukuqaphele njengendlela yokukhohlisa esetshenziswa umuntu ozikhukhumezayo ukuze aphinde alawule futhi anake. Zibuze: Ingabe izithembiso zomuntu ozikhukhumezayo zokushintsha noma ukukhombisa uthando zingezesikhashana? Uma kunjalo, zihloselwe ukulawula imizwa.
5. Bayobeka icala phezu kwakho
Itshe legumbi lokuziphatha kwe-narcissistic libandakanya ukuchezukisa isibopho sokufa kobudlelwane kubhekise kowayenguzakwethu. Ngokuzenza izisulu ezingenasici, abalandisayo balawula indaba ngekhono, beshiya ababekade bengabalingani babo bethwele kanzima ngenxa yecala elingenasisekelo namahloni. Uma ubhekene nesimo sokuthi 'uyekopela manje usefuna ukuba umngane', cishe bazozama ukusola wena.
Qaphela. Leli qhinga lokushintsha icala lisiza ekukhululeni umuntu ozithanda ngokweqile ekuziphenduleni ngenkathi liqinisa umuzwa wakhe wokuphakama, futhi liphinde lidale umuzwa wokungazethembi esisulwini sakhe.
Indlela Yokuphendula: Melana nokufaka umuzwa wecala wamanga obangelwa ukusola kwabo. Zikhumbuze ngezinhloso zakho nezenzo zakho (zibhale phansi uma kusiza), futhi ungavumeli imizamo yomuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza ukuthi ithinte ukuzethemba kwakho. Melana nesifiso sokuzivikela ngokweqile noma ukusabela ngokomzwelo phambi komuntu oshade naye. Kunalokho, khuluma ngezinto ezinganembile bese uqondisa ingxoxo ekutholeni izixazululo noma izixazululo.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimpawu Eziyi-17 Zokuthi Unentombazane Engavuthiwe Engokomzwelo
6. Bazozama ukungcolisa isithunzi sakho
Ukuze kuvikelwe esabo isithombe, ama-narcissists angase aqale imikhankaso yokuhlambalaza abalingane babo bangaphambili. Ngokusabalalisa okubaliwe kolwazi olungamanga, ukuhlanekezela, nokubulawa kwabalingiswa, bazama ukungcolisa isithunzi sakho. Ama-Narcissists aphatha ama-ex awo ngale ndlela hhayi nje ukubahlukanisa emphakathini kodwa futhi aqinise ukulawula kwawo ukulandisa okuphathelene nokuhlukana. Lokhu kungabangela izinkinga ezinzima zokwethembana kanye nokuzethemba okuphansi kulowo ohlukunyeziwe, okungase kulimaze ubudlelwano besikhathi esizayo.
Indlela Yokuphendula: Uma owayekade ekwenza lokhu, funa ukwesekwa. Xhumana nabangani, amalungu omndeni, noma uchwepheshe wezokwelapha ukuze uthole inethiwekhi esekelayo phakathi nalesi sikhathi esinzima. Thola umyalelo wokuvimbela uma wesaba ukuphepha kwakho. Futhi khumbula njalo ukubeka phambili ukuzinakekela phakathi nakho konke lokhu.
7. Umnundu ufuna ubuye uma ethanda ukuqhunyiswa kwamabhomu
Ukuqhumisa uthando kuyindlela ekhohlisayo lapho umuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza egcwalisa umlingani wakhe wangaphambili ngezibonakaliso ezinkulu zothando nokunaka. Lokhu kuqinisa uthando nokuncoma kudala umuzwa wokuthembela kanye nenjabulo, okuholela ngempumelelo umlingani wangaphambili ukuba abuyele emjikelezweni womuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza. Leli qhinga lokuziphatha okuzikhukhumeza libonakala ngokuqina okukhulu kwemizwa kanye nokubonakaliswa okukhulu kothando kanye nezenzo zocansi, okulandelwa ukukhohlisa okulandelayo kanye nokuhoxa ngokomzwelo. Iqiniso elibuhlungu ukuthi abantu abathanda ukuzikhukhumeza bakhathalela bona kuphela.
Futhi, qaphela ukukhohlisa kwesikhathi esizayo . Umsebenzisi we-Reddit ulandisa ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe kokubhekana nomuntu owayezikhukhumeza: "Kwakuwukukhohlisa esikhathini esizayo impela. Umuntu ozikhukhumeza uzothola omunye umuntu phakathi nesonto bese eqala ukumtshela ukuthi ungumkakhe wesikhathi esizayo futhi uphelele kakhulu. Leso sithembiso asisho lutho kubo ngoba bazosidonsela phansi basiphonse kumuntu olandelayo emgqeni." Uma lokhu kuhlobene, khona-ke kunokuba ukukhumbule ngempela, sicela wazi ukuthi umuntu wakho ozikhukhumezayo uzama ukukukhohlisa.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Indlela Yokuhlukanisa Phakathi Kokuqhumisa Uthando Nokunakekelwa Kwangempela
Indlela Yokuphendula: Chaza ngokucacile futhi uphoqelele imingcele enempilo ukuze uvikele inhlalakahle yakho engokomzwelo. Imingcele eqinile izovela ngenxa yokuzazi, futhi izokuvimbela ukuthi ungathatheki. Linganisa indlela abasabela ngayo ekuqinisekiseni kwakho le mingcele.
8. Bangase bazame ukulawula noma ukuxhaphaza izimali zakho
Ama-Narcissists athanda ukweqa abalingani babo ngokuphelele. Abantu Abane-Narcissistic Personality Disorder bangase balawule izimali phakathi nangemuva kobudlelwane, basebenzise imali njengethuluzi lokukhohlisa nokuba nomthelela. Bakwenza lokhu ngokuthi:
- Ukulawula ukufinyelela kuzinsiza
- Ukudala ukuncika kwezezimali
- Ukusebenzisa izinsongo zezezimali
I-narcissist iqinisekisa ukuthi umlingani wabo wangaphambili uhlala ebhajwe kuwebhu yokuncika, okwenza kube nzima inqubo yokuhlukana nobudlelwano obunobuthi. Isibonelo, indlela evamile yokulawula ezezimali ngemva kokuhlukana iwukwenqaba ukukhokha isondlo sezingane.
Indlela Yokuphendula: Xhumana nabantu obathandayo noma umeluleki wezezimali ukuze uthole izindlela ongazimela ngazo ngokwezimali. Uma kudingeka, xhumana nommeli ukuze ubone ukuthi kukhona yini usizo lwezomthetho.
9. Owathandana naye uzosebenzisa ubuthakathaka bakho ngokomzwelo kokunye futhi ukuboniswa kwe-narcissism
Abantu abathanda ukuzikhukhumeza bagcina ubukhosi ngokuqaphela nokusebenzisa ubuthakathaka obungokomzwelo bomlingani wabo wangaphambili. Kuyindlela eyinhloko esetshenziswa yibo ukukugcina ubambekile. Ngokusebenzisa ukungaqiniseki kwakho okujulile, ukwesaba, noma ukuhlukumezeka kwangaphambilini, abantu abathanda ukuzikhukhumeza bathola inzuzo yamasu futhi baqinisekise ukuthi uhlala ubambekile ngokomzwelo futhi uthembele ngokubophana okubuhlungu . Lokhu mhlawumbe kungenye yezinyathelo ezilimaza kakhulu zomuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza futhi kwenza kube nzima ngesisulu ukwethemba umlingani omusha.
Indlela Yokuphendula: Kulesi simo, nqamula ukuxhumana nomlingani wakho wangaphambili ngokushesha. Uma lokho kungenzeki, okungenani nciphisa ukuxhumana ngangokunokwenzeka ukuze ukhululeke emjikelezweni wokukhohlisa futhi uthole ukucaca ngokomzwelo. Akuyona into enhle ngisho nokuhlala ungumngane nomuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza.
10. AmaNarcissists azozama ukukhohlisa ukulandisa
Ama-Narcissists ajwayele ukuqamba amanga nge-pathological ngokwakhiwa kwezindaba ezinemininingwane, ihaba, noma okungenziwanga. Benza lokhu ukuze bazuze lokhu okulandelayo:
- Kuyindlela yokulawula imibono, ukuzama ukwenza kubonakale sengathi ukuziphatha kwabo okubi akulona icala elibi kangako.
- The umqambimanga oyimpoqo uphatha indaba ukuze agcine ukubonakala kokuphakama futhi aphinde alawule isimo
- Ama-Narcisists aziphatha ngale ndlela ngoba ukuqamba amanga okuguquguqukayo kusiza ukuqinisa isithombe esingelona iqiniso se-narcissist ngenkathi kwehlisa ikhono lozakwethu wangaphambili lokwehlukanisa iqiniso lenganekwane, liqhubekisela phambili umjikelezo wokudideka nokuncika.
Indlela yokuphendula: Kungasiza ukuhlakulela ukuzimela ngokomzwelo ukuze unciphise ukuthembela ekuqinisekisweni kwangaphandle. Abangani bakho nomndeni wakho abayinhloko bazokusekela kulokhu. Yenza uhlu lwamaqiniso, futhi ulufunde noma nini lapho uzibuza. Yabelana ngalo nabathandekayo bakho.
11. Bazodlala ikhadi lesisulu
Abantu abathanda ukuzithanda baphatha abantu ababekade bethandana nabo njengabahlukumezi ukuze bathole amandla. Naphezu kokuba ngabahleli bokuxhashazwa ngokomzwelo, abantu abathanda ukuzithanda badlala ngobuhlakani njengesisulu ukuze baveze uzwelo futhi bagweme ukusolwa kwabalingani babo bangaphambili. Leli qhinga lokukhohlisa, elaziwa ngokuthi i-DARVO (ukuphika, ukuhlasela, nokubuyisela emuva isisulu kanye nomenzi wobubi) , lihilela ukuzethula njengabashushiswa ngokungafanele, okudala indaba lapho umlingani wabo wangaphambilini eba ngumhlaseli osolwayo.
Ishintsha amandla abonakalayo aguqukayo avune bona. Ngokuziveza njengezisulu ezingenacala, ama-narcissists aqhubeka nokukhohlisa imibono, akwenze kube inselele kwabalingani babo bangaphambili ukugomela amaqiniso abo kanye nolwazi lwabo.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ukudalula Umuntu Othanda Ukuzithanda – Okufanele Ukwazi
Indlela Yokuphendula: Njengoba kungekho lutho ongakwenza ukushintsha umbono womunye umuntu, into engcono kakhulu kungaba ukunganaki izenzo zakhe bese ugxila ekwelapheni kwakho. Bavimbele yonke indawo. Beka phambili imisebenzi yokuzinakekela ukuze uthuthukise impilo yakho yengqondo nengokomzwelo lapho ubhekene nokulimala okubangelwa ukuzikhukhumeza kwalolu hlobo.
Izikhombi Ezibalulekile
- Ukwehlukana nozakwenu onama-narcissistic ngokuvamile akukona ukuphela kwendaba. Zizoqhubeka zithinta impilo yakho yomuntu siqu kanye nobunye ubudlelwano ngemuva kwalokho
- Ama-Narcissists ahlupheka ngemva kokuhlukana kodwa hhayi ngendlela thina sonke esenza ngayo - Ahlushwa ukuntula ukuqinisekiswa kwe-ego futhi aphuthelwe ukulawula ababenakho kuwe.
- Banohlu lwamaqhinga abangase bawasebenzise ukukunxenxela ekulawuleni kwabo njengokushova, ukugxeka, ukuqhunyiswa kwamabhomu, kanye ne-DARVO.
- Ukuqonda i-narcissism isinyathelo sokuqala ongasithatha. Kuzokusiza ukuthi uphendule emizamweni yabo yokukubuyisela kumageyimu abo ahlukumezayo
Singene sajula kusayensi yezengqondo eyinkimbinkimbi yokuthi ama-narcissists abaphatha kanjani abantu bakudala futhi sahlola ama-nuances okuhlupheka abadlula kukho, kanye nalokho abakwenza kwabanye. Kusukela ekukhanyisweni kwegesi kuya ekuqhumeni kothando, amaqhinga akhohlisayo asetshenziswa ama-narcissists enziwe obala. Uma ubhekene nalokhu kulimala, sithemba ukuthi uthatha izinyathelo zokugqashula ekulawuleni kwabo.
Ngokurekhoda ukusebenzelana, ukuzifundisa thina, nokugxila ekwelapheni nasekuzinakekeleni, awukwazi nje kuphela ukuzulazula kuwebhu eyinkimbinkimbi eyalukwa ama-narcissists kodwa futhi ubuyise ukulawula, ukhuthaze uhambo lokuzitholela ngokwakho kanye nokunika amandla ngale kwethunzi lokukhohlisa.
Ukwehlukana Ne-Narcissist: Amathiphu angu-7 nokuthi Yini Ongayilindela
Akukho Ukuthintana Ne-Narcissist - Izinto Eziyi-7 Ama-Narcissists Azenzayo Uma Ungaxhumani
Indlela Yokwenza I-Narcissist Idabukise - Izinto eziyi-13 Okufanele Uzenze
Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
Žila jsem s narcistou 25 let! Ngena ku-hrůza! Vaše články jsou jak přes kopírák, kdybych popisovala náš vztah. Bohužel jsem nedokázala pochopit, co se děje. Dnes vím! Děkuji Vám za možnosti, získat informace pro ostatní ženy!