Isoka Lami Liyadabuka Futhi Lingiphusha: Amathiphu Okumelana Nokududuza Indoda Yakho

Lapho othile esimkhathalelayo ebhekene nesikhathi esinzima, umuzwa wethu wemvelo uwukuba sisondele kuye, simduduze futhi simsekele. Nokho, ngezinye izikhathi, umuntu ososizini angase angakufuni eduze kwakho. Umngani wami ungithumelele umlayezo muva nje, “Isoka lami lidabukile futhi liyangixosha. Ngiyazi ukuthi lidlule esihogweni ngemuva kokushona kukanina ngokuzumayo, kodwa ngididekile nsuku zonke. Kufanele ngenzenjani? Ngifuna ukuba lapho ngenxa yakhe!”

A cwaningo by I-European Journal of Trauma and Dissociation bathole ukuthi abantu abaningi baba nokusabela okungekuhle lapho bezwakalisa usizi lwabo, okubenza bakufihle. Uma ubhekene nesimo esifanayo, ngilapha ukuze ngiqinisekise ukuthi wena nozakwenu niyabhekana nalokhu. Okubaluleke kakhulu okufanele sikukhumbule ukuthi umuntu ngamunye uphatha usizi ngendlela yakhe. Ungakwazi ukunikeza indoda yakho ukwesekwa nenduduzo ayidingayo phakathi nalesi sikhathi esivivinyayo, kodwa awukwazi ukulungisa noma ukususa usizi lwakhe.

Namuhla, umqeqeshi wobudlelwano Nandita Rambhia (MSc, Psychology), onguchwepheshe be-CBT, REBT, kanye nokwelulekwa kwabashadikazi, ukhuluma ngendlela usizi oluthinta ngayo ubudlelwano. Uzosinikeza amathiphu abalulekile okubhekana nesimo esithi “umlingani wami uyadabuka futhi uyangixosha” engisichaze ngenhla.

Izizathu Ezenza Isoka Lakho Elisosizini Lifune Ukuba Yedwa

Lapho isoka lisosizini, isifiso salo sokungafuni ukuhlangana noma ukuba sezingcingo nawe singase sidideke futhi silimaze. Kodwa ngisho nalapho isoka lakho elisosizini lifuna ukuba yedwa, ungakwazi ukubhekana nokudabuka kwalo futhi ulinikeze induduzo nokusekelwa elikudingayo. Ngochwepheshe bethu, sizodlula kumasu ambalwa okuxhumana azokwazi qinisa ubudlelwano bakho nozakwenu ozilile, naphezu kwebanga elikhona ngokomzwelo phakathi kwenu nobabili.

UNandita uthi, “Usizi luyinto ejulile yomuntu siqu, futhi wonke umuntu ubhekana nesimo ngendlela ehlukile. Isoka lakho lidinga indawo akusho ukuthi liyakuxosha; limane libhekana nosizi lwalo ngendlela yalo. Hlonipha isidingo salo sokuba yedwa — Kuyindlela yalo yokucubungula nokuphulukisa.”

Nazi ezinye zezizathu ezijwayelekile ukuthi isoka elisosizini lifune ukuba yedwa:

• Ugajwe yimizwa: Udinga isikhathi sakhe sokucubungula le mizwa ngaphandle kokukuthwalisa kanzima noma ukukucasula. Nika isoka lakho isikhala ukuze liqonde ukushuba kokudabuka kwalo. Usizi lungenza abantu bangakwazi ukubikezela ngokomzwelo, futhi awukwazi ukuthi uzosabela kanjani kuwe lapho ukhona njalo.
• Uzizwa elahlekelwa kakhulu ukulawula: Usizi ngokuvamile lushiya abantu benomuzwa wokuthi abasakwazi ukulawula ukuphila kwabo. Bangase bazizwe bengenakuzisiza noma sengathi abanalutho olungabasiza ngemicabango, izenzo, noma indawo ebazungezile. Ukuba yedwa kumvumela ukuthi aphinde alawule, yingakho isoka lakho elisosizini lifuna ukuba yedwa
• Ugwema ukwahlulela: Usizi lungabangela imicabango engenangqondo nokuziphatha okungenakwenzeka ukukuchazela abanye. Isoka lakho kungenzeka badinga indawo ukuba wedwa ngalesi sikhathi esisengozini ukugwema ukuzizwa wahlulelwa noma ungaqondwa kahle. Uma ufuna ukwazi ukuthi ungaba kanjani nesoka lakho lapho lisosizini, zama ukungalizwisi ubuhlungu ngokugcizelela izidingo zakho.
• Udinga ubumfihlo: Nika isoka lakho isikhala ngoba abantu abasosizini bangase bazizwe besengozini futhi bedaluliwe. Angase adinge isikhathi sokukhala, ukuklabalasa, noma ukuveza imizwa yakhe ngaphandle kokuzinyeza noma ukubukwa. Kodwa ungamvumeli akhululeke kakhulu ngaleli lungiselelo. Izifundo bathole isizungu esikhulayo sihlotshaniswa nempilo ephansi yengqondo neyomzimba. Izimo ezintathu zomtholampilo - i-depressive disorder enkulu, i-post-traumatic stress disorder, kanye nosizi oluthatha isikhathi eside - zihlotshaniswa nesizungu esengeziwe.
• Ucabanga ngezinkumbulo: Lapho umngane wami engitshela ukuthi “Isoka lami liyadabuka futhi liyangixosha,” yilokhu engacabanga ngakho. Ukuthi ingqondo yakhe cishe idlule, ikhumbula izikhathi ngaphandle kokuphazamiseka. Ekugcineni uzofinyelela esigabeni lapho lezi zinkumbulo zinganikeza induduzo nokuxhumana nomuntu amlahlekele, esikhundleni sokumjulisa.
• Ugwema ingcindezi eyengeziwe: Kuyimvelo yomuntu ukuzizwa ukhathele ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba ngenxa yosizi. Ukuba khona kwakho kanye namazwi akho aduduzayo ngesoka elishonelwe, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi unezinhloso ezinhle kangakanani, kungase kwandise ukucindezeleka noma ingcindezi ungahlosile. Njengoba engeke akwazi ukukunikeza ukuzinza nenduduzo okwamanje, angase akhathazeke ngisho nangokumshiya kwakho. Ukwehlukana lapho usosizini kungase kube okuhlangenwe nakho okuyinselele kakhulu futhi okuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo, njengoba kwenezela isisindo sokuhlukana esikhathini esibuhlungu kakade.
• Ucubungula ukulahlekelwa: Umngane wami wangibuza, “Ngifuna ukunika isoka lami elisosizini indawo. Ngiyazibuza nje, kuze kube nini?” Edlula izigaba zosizi kuyinqubo edla isikhathi. Isoka lakho lingase lidinge amaviki noma izinyanga ezimbalwa ukuze licubungule ukulahlekelwa futhi lamukele omunye umthelela wako empilweni yalo
• Ugwema izingxoxo ezithinta inhliziyo: Izingxoxo zingasakazeka ngokujulile noma zithukuthele noma 'zigcine' lapho othile eshonelwe. Ukhathazekile ngokuhlukana kwakhe esasosizini, nakuba engahlosile ukwehlukana. Akanasiqiniseko ngemizwa yakhe kulesi simo esidabukisayo futhi udinga isikhala kuze kube yilapho ezizwa ehlelwe kahle.
• Ukuba yedwa kuwuhlobo lwakhe lokuzinakekela: Usizi lungase luqede amandla. Ngaphandle kweziphazamiso zangaphandle noma izingcindezi, ukuba wedwa kunikeza indawo edingekayo yokuzinakekela. Lokhu kumvumela ukuthi agxile ekubuyiseni amandla angokomzwelo nawomzimba

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izindlela Eziyi-15 Eziqinisekisiwe Zokubonisa Umuntu Omthandayo

Ungasiza Kanjani Isoka Lakho Ukubhekana Nokushona Kothandekayo — 9 Amathiphu

Siyaqonda. Isimiso esibuhlungu nesicindezelayo silinda umuntu ngemva kokushonelwa othandekayo. Futhi uma uzama ukusiza isoka lakho lidlule kulesi sikhathi esinzima, udinga ukuqondiswa futhi. Nakuba usizi kuwukuhlangenwe nakho okujulile komuntu siqu, silapha ukuze sikusize uqonde ukuthi uliduduza kanjani isoka lakho.

Kusukela ekunikezeni indlebe elalelayo ekhombisa inhlonipho ngesidingo sakhe sokuba yedwa, sinamacebiso ayisishiyagalolunye awusizo okuthi ungasiza kanjani isoka lakho libhekane nokufa. Ungaba umthombo wenduduzo namandla kuye njengoba esingatha inqubo yokulahlekelwa eyinkimbinkimbi futhi ngokuvamile engalindelekile. Kulesi sigaba, sizobhekana nenkinga yokuthi “isoka lami liyadabuka futhi liyangixosha” obhekene nalo njengamanje. Akuwona wonke amathiphu azokusebenzela; konke kuncike ekutheni umlingani wakho udinga isikhala esingakanani okwamanje.

1. Mnike ubukhona bakho

Ukuba khona kwakho kungenye yezinto ezibaluleke kakhulu futhi ezisheshayo izindlela zokusekela isoka lakho ngosizi lwakhe. Ukumane uhlale eduze kwakhe (uma ekuvumela) noma ukuba sendlini eyodwa naye, kungamsiza azizwe enesizungu futhi eqondwa kakhudlwana.

Uma ungakwazi ukuba naye ngokomzimba, zama ukushiya isiqeshana sezwi sothando nsuku zonke — kodwa ngaphandle kokumnxusa ukuba aphendule. Mhlole njalo. Kulungile uma engaphenduli njalo.

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2. Qiniseka ukuthi unendawo ephephile lapho ekwazi ukukhuluma khona ngokukhululeka

Lapho amazwi aduduzayo esoka elishonelwe engamukelekile, lalela. Ukulalela kuyisici esibalulekile sokusekela othile ngosizi. Amaqembu okusekela angase asebenze uma umlingani wakho engakakulungeli ukukuvulela isifuba. Ngokusho komhlanganyeli ku ucwaningo, “Amaqembu osekelo abe usizo kakhulu, azi ukuthi kukhona abanye abaqonda ngempela.”

Omunye umuntu ocwaningweni uchaze ukwesekwa komphakathi njengokuthi “ukuba nomphakathi wabantu abaphephile ongabelana nabo ngohambo lwakho losizi; ongazami ukukulungisa noma ukukusheshisa … abantu abangivumela ngisho igama lakhe futhi ngixoxe izindaba ngaye.” Nakhu okwenzekayo uma kugxilwe ekulaleleni, hhayi ukuqondisa:

• Ukukhuthaza isoka lakho ukuthi liveze imicabango nemizwa yalo, nawe noma eqenjini elisekelanayo, kulinikeza ithuba lokuphuma eliphephile nelingenalo ukwahlulela.
• Kumvumela ukuthi aveze imizwa yakhe, kumsize acubungule futhi enze umqondo wosizi lwakhe
• Umlaleli okhuthele ulalela ngokugcwele, iqinisekisa imizwa yakhe, bese ephendula ngozwela
• Lokhu kudala indawo lapho ekwazi khona ukuvuleka ngaphandle kokwesaba ukugxekwa noma ukungezwani
• Uzizwa ebonwa futhi engasenasizungu ngoba abantu abaseqenjini labasekeli bahlobene nalokho abhekene nakho

UNandita usikisela ukuthi, “Ukulalela ngentshiseko kungaba nendima ebalulekile kulesi simo.Kusho ukuba khona nokuqonda imizwa yesoka lakho, ngisho nalapho limemeza.Ngezinye izikhathi, akukhona ngokulikhuthaza ukuba lihlanganyele nabanye, kodwa kunalokho, ukuqonda imizwa eyisisekelo ngale kwamazwi alo nephimbo.”

3. Ungalisiza kanjani isoka lakho ukuthi libhekane nokufa? Hlonipha inqubo yakhe yosizi

Ingabe isoka lakho liyadabuka ngokudlula ezigabeni ezinhlanu? Njengokuphika, intukuthelo, ukuxoxisana, ukudangala, nokwamukela. Noma mhlawumbe uhambo lwakhe aluqondile? Vuma ukuthi ayikho indlela “elungile” noma “engalungile” nejubane lokudabuka. Ngokuqonda nokwamukela imizwa nezenzo zakhe, umvumela inkululeko yokubhekana nosizi lwakhe ngendlela yakhe - ngokwezidingo zakhe, amakhono, kanye nemizwelo.

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4. Yini ongayithumelela isoka elisosizini umyalezo? Nikeza ukunethezeka nosizo oluqondile

Uma kwenzeka izenzakalo ezibuhlungu njengalezi, kungokwemvelo ukuzizwa uphatheke kabi ngaso sonke isikhathi. Thumela umlayezo ngezikhathi ezithile (futhi ucacise ukuthi akufanele aphendule) ukuze umazise ukuthi ucabanga ngaye futhi uyatholakala ukuze ukhulume noma ulalele noma nini lapho elungile. Le ndlela ibonisa ukusekela kwakho okuqhubekayo ngaphandle kokumcindezela noma ukumenza azizwe eyedwa.

Futhi, usizo olungokoqobo lungaba impumuzo enkulu phakathi nesikhathi lapho imisebenzi yansuku zonke ibonakala ingaphezu kwamandla. Hlanganyela eminye imisebenzi yasekhaya, umnikeze usizo lokupheka, noma ngamalungiselelo omngcwabo. Le misebenzi ingamkhandla ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo futhi ingenza izinto zibe zimbi kakhulu kuye. Ngakho ukusekela kwakho okungokoqobo kumvumela ukuba athathe indawo yakhe futhi agxile enhlalakahleni yakhe engokomzwelo, ngaphandle kokucindezeleka okwengeziwe kwemithwalo yemfanelo yansuku zonke.

5. Ungagwegwesi ngenkathi unikeza ukusekela, futhi uhambe imayela elingeziwe

Esikhundleni sokubuza, "Ingabe kukhona engingakwenzela khona?" okungase kube nzima kakhulu, kunikeze usizo oluphathekayo nezithize. Ngokwesibonelo, kuyoba yiba nozwela uma uthi:

• “Sengilwenzile uhlu lwegrosa, ngizoyithola kusihlwa”
• “Ngingathumela i-imeyili endaweni osebenza kuyo ngibatshele ukuthi udinga ikhefu”
• “Ngikhona ngizolalela uma ufuna ukukhuluma”
• "Ngizokuphekela isidlo sakusihlwa namhlanje ebusuku. Ngabe ipasta ilungile?"
• “Ngingafona zonke namuhla”
• "Ngizokwenza amaphepha namuhla ebusuku uma ulungile"
• “Ngiqinisekise iqembu losekelo futhi ngagcina imininingwane eduze kombhede wakho. Ungababiza futhi ubhukhe iseshini noma nini lapho uzizwa ukulungele. Noma ngingakwenzela yona”

Lokhu kubonisa ukuthi ukhuthele futhi kunciphisa umthwalo wokwenza izinqumo ngesikhathi esiyinselele. UNandita uyanezela, “Lapho isoka lakho lisosizini, nikeza izindlela eziqondile zokusekela, njengokusiza ngemisebenzi yansuku zonke nokuba khona okududuzayo. Lokhu kungenza umehluko omkhulu. Gwema iseluleko esinamandla futhi ugxile osizweni olungokoqobo nokuba khona ngokomzwelo kuyilapho lilila.”

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6. “Isoka lami liyadabuka futhi liyangixosha, ngenzenjani?” Hlonipha isidingo sakhe sokuba yedwa

I-Reddit umsebenzisi uthi, “Insizwa engangithandana nayo isanda kushonelwa umngane wayo omkhulu. Usanda kuhlukana nami ethi ufuna ukuba yedwa futhi angaba abangane kuphela.” Manje lolu hlobo lwesimo luyesabeka kakhulu ukucabanga ngalo. Ngethemba ukuthi umlingani wakho akafuni ukuvumela usizi lwakhe luqede ubuhlobo, futhi nawe awufuni.

Kuyiqiniso ukuthi usizi lokulahlekelwa othandekayo kwesinye isikhathi lunomthelela ebuhlotsheni kabi. Ngokuthuka kwakho, ungase uqale ucabange ukuthi yini ozoyithumelela isoka elisosizini. Kodwa mhlawumbe akakufuni lokho, mhlawumbe ufuna isikhashana eyedwa. Usizi lungamcindezela ngokomzwelo, futhi angase adinge izikhathi (noma izinsuku) zokuzindla nokuba yedwa ukuze acubungule imizwa yakhe. Yazi ukuthi lezi zikhathi zokuba yedwa ziyingxenye yendlela yakhe yokubhekana nesimo. Makamukele ukulahlekelwa kwakhe futhi athole induduzo ngaphakathi kuye, kodwa aqhubeke nokumhlola ngobumnene.

7. Njengoba ezilela ukulahlekelwa kwakhe, umnakekele njengomphakathi

Usizi lungaba nethonya empilweni yomuntu engokomzimba nengqondo, futhi kudinga abantu abangaphezu koyedwa ukunakekela lowo othintekile. UDkt. Eric Bui, umqondisi ohlangene wocwaningo eCenter for Anxiety and Traumatic Stress Disorders and Complicated Grief Programme e-Harvard-affiliated Massachusetts General Hospital, uthi I-Harvard Health Publishing, “Amadoda angase azame ukumelana nosizi, kodwa kubalulekile ukungazishayi indiva lezi zimpawu, njengoba ukucindezeleka njalo kungakubeka engozini enkulu yokuhlaselwa isifo senhliziyo, unhlangothi, ngisho nokufa, ikakhulukazi ezinyangeni ezimbalwa zokuqala ngemva kokulahlekelwa othile.”

Ngakho-ke, ungalisiza kanjani isoka lakho ukuthi libhekane nokufa? Abathandekayo bakhe kufanele bamkhuthaze beka kuqala ukuzithanda nokuzinakekela. Faka abangani nomndeni kulokhu, ukuze akuwena wedwa omnakekelayo. Qinisekisa ukuthi u:

• Ukudla kahle nokuphuza amanzi njalo
• Ukuphumula ngokwanele kanye nokuthatha isikhathi sokuphumula emsebenzini noma ezifundweni
• Ukuzibandakanya emisebenzini enikeza induduzo nokuphumula
• Ukuhlangana nabantu abathembayo futhi abangaluqonda usizi lwakhe

Uma ekuxosha, hlala uthintana namalungu omndeni wakhe noma umngane omkhulu ukuze ulandelele impilo yakhe nenqubo yakhe.

8. “Umuntu engithandana naye uyadabuka futhi uyangidudula, ngenzenjani?” Yiba nesineke futhi ungahluleli

Awukho uhlaka olungaguquki lwendlela usizi oluthinta ngayo ubudlelwano. Kungaholela ekushintsheni kwemizwa, amahora okuzijabulisa noma izinyembezi, nokuziphatha okungenangqondo. Yiba nesineke futhi uqonde. Zama ukungahluleli izenzo noma ukusabela kwakhe, njengoba ngokuvamile lokhu kuwumphumela wemizwa eyeqisayo hhayi ukubonakaliswa kobuntu bakhe. Khumbula ukuthi wonke umuntu uba nosizi ngendlela ehlukile, futhi ukusekela kwakho okungantengantengi kungamsiza ukuthi azule kulolu hambo oluyinselele.

U-Nandita uyachaza, “Yakha amandla akho okukhuthazela ngokomzwelo. ubudlelwano obunempilo ashukumisayo. "

9. “Isoka lami liyadabuka futhi liyangixosha, ngingalisiza ngani?” Nikeza uthando olungenamibandela

Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi isilwane esifuywayo osithandayo esidlule noma umfowenu osanda kushona naye ebengasakhulumisani, impilo ingase ingafani nesoka lakho ngemva kwalezi zindaba ezibuhlungu. Phinda uthando lwakho nokuzibophezela kusoka lakho, ngisho nalapho likuxosha. Kwazise ukuthi ulapho ngenxa yakhe.

A cwaningo okukhulunywe ngayo ngenhla ithi “okuningi kokusekela okunikezwa ngesikhathi sosizi kuncipha ngokushesha, kuyilapho isidingo sokusekela siqhubeka.” Ngakho-ke, ukuqinisekiswa kwakho okuqhubekayo kungakunikeza umuzwa wokuthi ukuphepha ngokomzwelo nenduduzo, emkhumbuza ukuthi unomthombo oqinile wokusekela phakathi nesikhathi sezinxushunxushu.

Futhi manje ngokunye okukukhathazayo obhekene nakho: Umfundi wethu, uLamya, umholi wesifunda embonini yamandla avuselelekayo, wabelana nathi, “Ngiyaqonda ukuthi ubhekene nani, kodwa angazi ukuthi ngingalinikeza kanjani isoka lami elidabukileyo indawo lapho engifuna ukukwenza nje ukuhlangana nalo noma ngimfonele njalo ngemva kwamahora amabili. Lamya, nabafundi abathandekayo, sikutholile.

Ungabhekana Kanjani Nesoka Lakho Elisosizini Likuxosha

Ungavumeli usizi luqede ubuhlobo. Kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi izenzo zakhe cishe azibonisi imizwa yakhe ngawe. I-Reddit umsebenzisi uthi, “Usizi lunzima kakhulu futhi luhlasela abantu ngezindlela eziningi ezihlukene, lungase lungashayi iminyaka noma lufike ngokushesha.” Yiqiniso, usizi luyinqubo eyinkimbinkimbi futhi yomuntu ngamunye. Ngakho-ke ukudideka nokudideka.

Nawa amasu angakusiza ukuthi uzulazule kulesi simo esinzima:

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Lapho Umshado Omuhle Umayelana Nokweseka Umlingani Wakho

1. Mbekezelele

Ukubekezela kuwuphawu oluhle lapho weseka umlingani ososizini okungenzeka ukuthi uyakuxosha. Qonda ukuthi ukuziphatha kwakhe akubonisi imizwa yakhe ngawe kodwa kunalokho kuwukubonakaliswa kosizi lwakhe. Usizi lungakuqeda amandla, ngakho-ke nikeza isoka lakho isikhala nakuba kunzima. Mvumele azinike isikhathi asidingayo. Ungamcindezeli ukuthi asabele noma ahlanganyele nawe lapho engakakulungeli.

Ku-an esihlokweni ngoba Ikhekhe, UDkt. Alejandra Vasquez, umeluleki wosizi ogunyaziwe, wabhala, “Kuye ngokubaluleka kokulahlekelwa umlingani wakho, kungase kudingeke uhlale lapho isikhathi eside ukuze babuyele ebuhlotsheni bakho.

2. “Isoka lami liyadabuka futhi liyangixosha, ngenzenjani?” Hlonipha imingcele yakhe

Nakuba izinhloso zakho kuwukunikeza ukwesekwa, kubalulekile ukuhlonipha imingcele yesoka lakho. Veza ukutholakala kwakho kuye futhi umazise ukuthi ulapho ngenxa yakhe, kodwa gwema ukungena noma ukuziphusha esikhaleni sakhe uma engakwamukeli. UNandita uthi, “Hlonipha owakhe imingcele yemizwa nokushintshashintsha kwemizwelo ngaphandle kokuzithatha mathupha. Yiba khona kuye ngaphandle kokucasuka. Nikeza ukwesekwa kwakho, noma ngabe ukushaya ucingo noma mathupha. Yiba nesineke futhi uqonde ngalesi sikhathi esinzima. ”

3. Phinda ngemva kwethu: “Angimlahli”

Ukugcina umnyango evulekile ukuxhumana, ngisho nalapho isoka lakho likuxosha, kubalulekile. Kodwa okubalulekile ukukhumbula yilokhu: Awunaphutha. Suka imicabango yecala futhi uzikhumbuze ukuthi wenza okusemandleni akho. Kulungile ukuhamba ngosuku lwakho ngezinye izikhathi futhi wenze izinto obuvame ukuzenza. Udinga ukwazi ukuphila impilo yakho ngenkathi ethatha isikhala kuwe.

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4. Zifunele ukusekelwa

Ukunakekela othandekayo oshonelwe kungase kudideke ngokomzwelo. Qinisekisa ukuthi unesistimu yakho yokwesekwa ukuze wabelane ngemizwa yakho futhi ufune isiqondiso. Ngokunakekela inhlalakahle yakho engokomzwelo, uyokuhlomela kangcono ukunikeza isoka lakho usizo oludingekayo ngaphandle kokucindezelwa ngokomzwelo noma ukukhungatheka. Ukuze wazi, abeluleki abanamakhono nabanelayisense bavuliwe Iphaneli yeBonobology zihlale zikhona ngenxa yakho.

5. Zifundise ngokuphambana kwenqubo yokulila nokusho kwayo

Usizi alulandeli iphethini emisiwe, ukulandelana kwezikhathi, noma umugqa wesikhathi. Ngokuzijwayeza ngezigaba zenqubo yokuba lusizi, ungakwazi ukuqonda kangcono ukukhuphuka nokwehla kwemizwelo yesoka lakho. Qonda ukuthi usizi ngokuvamile alunangqondo futhi alubikezeli. Ukuqaphela kwakho lobu bunzima kuzokuvumela ukuthi unikeze izeluleko nokwesekwa okunozwelo ngendlela esebenza ngempumelelo nengakhathazi kangako.

Ngokombiko othile Ucwaningo nguWebMD, kuyilapho ingxenye yabantu abasosizini iphendukela emculweni nasezilungiselelweni zomphakathi ukuze ibhekane nesimo, enye ingxenye ithembele otshwaleni, ukuzihlukanisa, nokudla ngokweqile. Uke wamqaphela yini umlingani wakho enza noma yikuphi kwalokhu phakathi nenqubo yakhe yokulila?

U-Nandita uyanezela, “Gcina umkhondo wezenzo zakhe. Ukuqonda usizi kunikeza ukuqonda okubalulekile ngohambo lomzwelo lwesoka lakho. Ukubona imizwa yakhe kukuvumela ukuba unikeze ukwesekwa okuhlosiwe. Kubonisa uzwela nesineke esiklanyelwe izidingo zakhe, futhi kukhuthaza uthando oluqondile. ukuxhumana okujulile ngalesi sikhathi.”

6. Ungaphuthelwa ukuzinakekela

Ukutholakala nesoka lakho yinto ebaluleke kakhulu ngesikhathi lisasosizini. Kodwa usizi lunganiphatha kabi nobabili. Beka kuqala ukuzinakekela ngokuphumula ngokwanele, ngokugcina ukudla okunempilo, ukukhetha into entsha yokuzilibazisa, nokuhlanganyela emisebenzini ekwenza ukhululeke. Ukunakekela inhlalakahle yakho kuqinisekisa ukuthi unezinsiza ezingokomzwelo zokumsekela ngokuphumelelayo.

U-Nandita uthi, “Zinike isikhathi sokuzivuselela futhi ugqashule esimisweni sokuba lusizi, njengoba kubalulekile ukuze ugcine ukulinganisela kwakho kwengqondo.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izindlela Eziyi-16 Zokubonisa Uthando Kumlingani Wakho

7. Cabangela usizo lochwepheshe

U-Nandita uyasikisela, “Nika amandla isoka lakho ukuze libeke phambili impilo yalo yengqondo ngokulikhuthaza ukuthi lifune usizo oluchwepheshile. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, hlanganyela ngenkuthalo kunethiwekhi yakho yokwesekwa, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi wusizo lochwepheshe, abangani, amalungu omndeni, noma amaqembu okusekela.”

Uma usizi lwesoka lakho luphazamisa kakhulu impilo yalo yengqondo noma lulimaza ubudlelwano benu, udokotela noma umeluleki wosizi angakunikeza ukwesekwa okukhethekile namathuluzi afanelana nezidingo zakhe. Ukwelashwa nakho kunganisiza nobabili ekubhekaneni nenkinga izinselelo zobudlelwano okungase kuvele phakathi nalolu hlelo lokulila.

8. Ungaba kanjani nesoka lakho lapho lisosizini — Khumbula othandiweyo ndawonye

Lesi sinyathelo singenzeka kuphela uma eselungele ukukuvulela isifuba. Uma ubumazi umuntu oshonile, kodwa hhayi ngokuseduze, ungase udinge ukuthola indawo yosizi lwakho nawe. Ukukhumbula impilo yabo nezinkumbulo kuyindlela ethinta inhliziyo yokuhlonipha ifa labo. Yabelana ngezindaba, izithombe, noma izikhumbuzo ukuze ugcine inkumbulo yabo iphila.

Lokhu akugcini nje ngokuvumela isoka lakho ukuthi likukhumbuze kodwa futhi kusiza enqubweni yokwelapha ngokugcina ukuxhumana nomuntu omthandayo. Kungaba indlela eduduzayo nenempilo yokubhekana nokulahlekelwa, kini nobabili.

Ngakho-ke, uma uvumelana nesimo somngane wami sokuthi “isoka lami liyadabuka futhi liyangixosha,” yazi lokho ukubekezela, ukulalela okusebenzayo, nokuhlonipha imingcele kuyizici ezibalulekile zokusekela umlingani wakho ososizini. Nikeza ngezindlela ezithile zosizo oluphathekayo, khuluma amazwi aduduzayo esoka elisosizini ngisho nalapho lihoxisiwe, futhi ufune inethiwekhi yakho yokwesekwa.

Menze azi ukuthi ukhona ukuze umsize, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ukhetha kanjani ukubhekana nosizi lwakhe, nokuthi ukuzibophezela kwakho enhlalakahleni yakhe nobuhlobo bakho buhlala buqinile. Njengoba isikhathi sihamba futhi usizi lwakhe lukhula, ukwesekwa kwakho okungantengantengi kungasebenza njengesibani sethemba nenduduzo, ekugcineni kujulise ukuxhumana kwakho nokuphulukiswa kwakho.

Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa

Izindlela ezingama-25 zokukhombisa umuntu omkhathalelayo

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Imibhalo Eyishumi Yesibili Ezomenza Amamatheke Amahora

Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.

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