Izibonelo Eziyi-9 Zokuba Sengozini Nendoda

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Kunini futhi kungani umuntu, ngokuzithandela nangonembeza ogcwele, ebeka engozini yokuveza imizwa yakhe, ukuhlukumezeka okudlule, kanye nezimfihlo kumuntu? Impendulo ilula. Kuthi uma sebethandana nale ndoda eshiwo. Nokho, kunomugqa omncane phakathi kokuba sengozini nokuba mpofu. Kunezibonelo ezithile zokuba sengozini nendoda engabonakali iswele noma ibambelele. Iwuhlobo lokuvuleleka ngokomzwelo olukhuthaza ukwethembana nokuqondana okujulile phakathi kwabantu ababili.

Ukuze sithole okwengeziwe ngokuthi kuyini ukuba sengozini nokuthi yiziphi izimpawu zokuba sengozini, sixhumane nesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uJayant Sundaresan . Uthi, “Ngamazwi alula kakhulu, ukuba sengozini yisenzo sokuxhumana nomlingani wakho ngendlela engafihliwe lapho ungumuntu wakho wangempela. Ukuba sengozini ebudlelwaneni kusho ukuthi uthembekile futhi uvulekile ekucubunguleni imizwa yakho nokuyiveza.”

Ngilahlekelwe isibalo sezikhathi abantu abahlobanise ngazo ukuba sengozini kanye nobuthakathaka kuyilapho empeleni kuphambene nokuba buthakathaka. Cabanga nje uhlobo lwamandla umuntu anawo ukuze aqoqe amanxeba akhe, asuse izifihla-buso azifihle ngemuva, futhi ahlanganyele izinto anamahloni ngazo noma azisola ngazo. Akunandaba ukuthi sibheka hlobo luni lobudlelwano. Kungaba ubungane, ubuhlobo, noma owothando, ukuba sengozini ebudlelwaneni banoma yiluphi uhlobo kudinga isibindi esikhulu.

Izibonelo Eziyi-9 Zokuba Sengozini Nendoda

Okuqukethwe

UJayant uyaxoxa, “Ngikholwa ukuthi ukuba sengozini kuyindlela yokuphila. Kuyifilosofi yokuphila umuntu okumele ayilandele ukuze abe nokuhlangenwe nakho okucebile nothando nokuphila okunemininingwane eminingi. Kukhona amagagasi namagagasi, ukwehla nokwehla, sonke okufanele sibhekane nakho. Ukukhuthaza ukuba sengozini ebudlelwaneni kusho ukuthi usathembekile futhi uvulekile naphezu kwezikhathi ezinzima nezinzima kangaka.”

Njengomuntu wesifazane, kufanele ngisho ukuthi lapho owesilisa esengozini ngowesifazane, kuba yizandla phansi into enhle kunazo zonke emhlabeni. Lokhu kwangiholela embuzweni okungenzeka ukuthi abesifazane abaningi bake bacabanga ngawo esikhathini esithile ekuphileni kwabo. Ingabe abafana bathola ukuba sengozini kukhanga futhi? Ngabuza umyeni wami umbuzo ofanayo futhi wamangala.

Lowo ngomunye wemibuzo engiyibuzile ukwakha ukusondelana ngokomzwelo nomlingani wami. Wathi, “Kungani ungacabanga ukuthi akusikhangi? Njengoba uthanda amaqiniso ethu angacacile nemizwa yethu eveziwe, siyakwazisa futhi siyawuthanda uhlobo olufanayo lweqiniso kanye nokucaca okuvela kowesifazane esimthandayo.” Lokho kwaphinda kabili uthando lwami ngaye ngoba akazange athole ubuthakathaka bami njengokunamathela kakhulu kuye.

Ngezansi, ngihlanganisa incazelo 'yokuba sengozini' ngemininingwane, ngezibonelo zokuba sengozini nendoda (okungadingeki uyidide nokuba oswele).

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1. Awekho amamaski

U-Jayant uthi, "Olunye lwezimpawu eziphawulekayo zokuba sengozini yilapho usesimweni lapho ungenaso isifihla-buso eduze komuntu wakho obalulekile. Akukho ukuqagela kwezithombe, akukho ukulingisa noma ukuzenza umuntu ongeyena. Ubenza bakubone ongokoqobo. Kudinga isibindi esikhulu nokuzimisela ukuba sengozini.

"Iningi lethu libe nobudlelwano obubi esikhathini esidlule. Ukunqoba izinsuku ezimbi, ukuzelapha, nokufunda ukuthi ungaphinde uthembe umuntu futhi kungenye yezinqumo ezinzima kakhulu abantu abazenzayo ekuphileni kwabo. Esinye sezibonelo zokuba sengozini ngendoda yilapho umuntu, naphezu kwazo zonke izinto ezimbi ezenzeka esikhathini esidlule, ekhetha ngokuzithandela ukuba sengozini futhi ngokuba yibo uqobo lwabo lwangempela."

2. Ukuba phambili

U-Jayant uyanezela, “Olunye lwezimpawu ezinkulu zokuba sengozini kowesifazane yilapho ekhuluma ngokungagwegwesi ngokuziphatha nemizwa yendoda yakhe.Uma engawuthandi umkhuba othile, uzophumela obala ngawo kumlingani wakhe.Isibonelo, ake sithi owesilisa uyafika ukuze enze ucansi.Owesifazane, okade ezijwayeza ukuba sengozini ebuhlotsheni, usuke ephambi kwakho, umlalele uma uqeda ukwenza ucansi. Ngidinga ukuthi uhlale.”

Ukuba Sengozini Nendoda — ukuba sengozini ebudlelwaneni

Lesi yisikhathi esibucayi kakhulu kunoma ubani, ukucela indoda ukuba ilale embhedeni ngemva kokuhlangana ngokocansi. Uma indoda isuka ngokushesha ngemva kokwenza ucansi, khona-ke ingenye yezimpawu eziqinisekile zokuthi ithanda ukuqomisana okungahleliwe futhi ayinazo izinhloso zokuba qotho nawe. Awukwazi ukuba sengozini nomuntu ongazimisele ngawe. Uma ephindela embhedeni ngemva kokuthi ukhulume ngezidingo zakho futhi echitha ubusuku nawe hhayi kanye kodwa kaningi, khona-ke ingenye yezibonelo ezingenakuphikwa zokuba sengozini nendoda.

3. Esinye sezibonelo zokuba sengozini kowesilisa yilapho uvumelana namaphutha akho

U-Jayant uthi, "Lapho othile ebonisa ukuba sengozini, uzowaphatha kahle amaphutha akhe esikhundleni sokuwashanela ngaphansi kukakhaphethi noma adlale umdlalo wokusola. Bazokhuluma iqiniso futhi bavume ukuthi benza iphutha. Ngokwamukela iphutha labo, bangokoqobo futhi bazibophezele ngezenzo zabo ngaphandle kokukubalekela."

Abanye abantu benza iphutha ngokwamukela amaphutha abo nokuxolisa ngawo njengobuthakathaka. Bazosebenzisa izindlela eziqotho zokuxolisa . Eqinisweni, umuntu oqinile noqotho kuphela ophendula ngezenzo zakhe. Iqiniso lokuthi owesifazane akakhombisi iminwe futhi uthembekile endodeni ngokwamukela amaphutha akhe kumelwe libe ngesinye sezibonakaliso ezibaluleke kakhulu zobuthakathaka kowesifazane.

4. Awufuni ukuphazamiseka uma unomuntu wakho

UJayant uthi, “Ukuchitha isikhathi esikahle nothile kwenza owesifazane abonise ubuthakathaka. Wonke umuntu umatasa futhi uzama ukuhlanganisa impilo yakhe siqu, impilo yomsebenzi, kanye nesikhathi sokuphishekela izinto azithandayo nezinto azithandayo. Uma ufuna ukuthola isikhathi esikahle ongasichitha nomlingani wakho, leso ngesinye sezibonelo zokuba buthakathaka nowesilisa.

Ningabuka ifilimu noma nimane niphuze ikhofi ndawonye nibukane emehlweni. Isikhathi esihle singase futhi sisetshenziswe lapho senza imisebenzi yasekhaya ndawonye. Uma ulangazelela “isikhathi sethu” nendoda, singenye yezimpawu zokuba sengozini.”

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5. Ukwethemba i-SO yakho ngezimfihlo zakho

UJayant uyaxoxa, “Wonke umuntu unezimfihlo kodwa asizabelani ngazo nabo bonke abantu abayingxenye yempilo yethu. Siyabelana ngazo nalabo esibathemba kakhulu, futhi esinqume ukuba sengozini nabo. Ukwethembana kanye nokuba sengozini yizinto ezimbili ezibaluleke kakhulu ebudlelwaneni . ”

"Esinye sezibonelo zokuba sengozini kowesilisa yilapho wakha izinga lokwethembana lapho ucobelelana khona izimfihlo zakho naphezu kokuba wazi ukuthi maningi amathuba okuthi ubudlelwano buphumelele bungama-50-50. Ungase ube nesiphetho esijabulisayo noma ubudlelwano buyohamba ngendlela yabo."

infographic ngokuba sengozini nendoda — Izibonelo zokuba sengozini nendoda

6. Ukwabelana ngokuzingabaza kanye namahloni

UJayant uthi, “Ukwabelana ngokungabaza, imicabango eyesabekayo, nazo zonke izimo ezimbi kakhulu kunokuzifihla kungenye yezibonelo zokuba sengozini nendoda. Wabelana ngale micabango njengoba idalwa ekhanda lakho. Uba incwadi evulekile nomlingani wakho. Ngeke kube khona ukugcina imfihlo noma ukuqamba amanga ebudlelwaneni.

"Owesifazane ukhombisa ukuba sengozini lapho exoxa ngokungazethembi kwakhe nezikhathi ezinamahloni nendoda ayithandayo. Sizama ngakho konke okusemandleni ukugcina izikhathi zethu ezinamahloni zifihlekile, kodwa uma sabelana ngalezo zikhathi nomuntu esimthandayo, kusho ukuthi sikulungele ukuba sengozini naye."

7. Ukucela iseluleko

UJayant uthi, “Ukucela iseluleko ngezindaba ezibalulekile kungenye yezibonelo zokuba sengozini ngendoda. Kungenye futhi yezibonakaliso zothando olungenamibandela ebudlelwaneni . Umtshela ngobuqili ukuthi umbono wakhe ubalulekile kuwe futhi wenza umehluko emsebenzini wakho noma empilweni yakho, umtshela ukuthi udinga ukuthi akuqondise lapho ubhekene nobunzima bokubhekana nokuthile.”

Ukuba sengozini ebudlelwaneni akusho ukwabelana ngezimfihlo ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ukuba sengozini kungaboniswa futhi ngokucela usizo kumlingani wakho. Lena enye yezindlela engafunda ngazo ukuba sengozini nomlingani wami. Ngacela usizo lwakhe nakuba ayengazi lutho ngomsebenzi wami.

Akazi lutho ngokubhala okuqukethwe futhi angazi lutho ngobuchwepheshe nesoftware. Naphezu kokuthi imisebenzi yethu iphikisana kakhulu, sibuza imibono yomunye nomunye ngoba sifuna ukwenza omunye nomunye azizwe eyingxenye yokuphila kwethu kobuchwepheshe. futhi isisiza ukuthi sixhumane nezinga elijulile.

8. Olunye lwezimpawu zokuba sengozini yilapho ungasebenzisi ukuba sengozini kwabo ngokumelene nabo

UJayant uchaza leli phuzu eliyinkimbinkimbi nelibucayi ngokuningiliziwe. Uthi, “Lapho abantu besengozini komunye nomunye, babelana ngobuthakathaka babo, bembula amaphutha abo, futhi bamukela amaphutha abo. Leso esinye sezici zobudlelwano obuhle . Owesifazane ubonisa ubuthakathaka endodeni uma engasebenzisi lobo buthakathaka ngokumelene nayo ngesikhathi sengxabano. Uyenqaba ukusebenzisa ulwazi indoda eyabelane ngalo ngasese, njengezikhali ngokumelene nayo.

"Uma umuntu ekhuluma ngokwehluleka kwakhe kwesikhathi esidlule nesamanje kanye nezinkinga, usengozini yokulimala. Umuntu abelana naye ngalokhu angakusebenzisa ukumehlisa isithunzi noma asebenzise lokhu njengendlela yokumlimaza. Ungokoqobo ngokuba sengozini. Uma uhlonipha futhi wamukela ubuthakathaka bakhe, futhi ungabusebenzisi ngokumelene naye, kungesinye sezibonelo ezinkulu zokuthi usengozini endodeni."

9. Owesifazane uba sengozini uma elwela indoda yakhe

UJayant uthi, “Sonke siyaqhubeka nomsebenzi. Sihlala sishintsha futhi sikhula nsuku zonke empilweni. Uma uthandana kakhulu nothile isikhathi eside, ubona izinguquko eziningi kuye. Uma ulwela indoda nobuhlobo, naphezu kokubona izinguquko kuyo, kungenye yezibonelo zokuba sengozini ngendoda.

"Uthando yinto eyivelakancane ukutholakala. Ubudlelwano budinga umsebenzi omningi, futhi abukho ubudlelwano obuhlala bungenasici. Uma isikhathi sifika, uzodinga nokulwela lolo thando, kuleyo ndoda, kanye nalobo budlelwano. Ukuqhubeka nokulwela othile, naphezu kokushintshashintsha kobudlelwano, kungenye yezimpawu zangempela zokuba sengozini."

Lapho ngibuza uJayant ukuthi amadoda ayathanda yini ukuba sengozini, wathi, “Yebo bayathanda. Ukuba sengozini kwendoda kwenza owesifazane abonise ukuba sengozini. Futhi amadoda athi awathandi ukuba sengozini ngamadoda angakakulungeli ubudlelwano bangempela, ubudlelwano obuseduze lapho kungekho khona ukucasha kwemizwa nemizwa.”

Ingabe abafana bathola ukuba sengozini kukhanga? Kulokhu uthe, “Yebo, kungenye yezinto ezibopha abantu ababili ndawonye. Uma indoda ingakakulungeli ukuba sengozini nophathina wayo, kumane kusho ukuthi akakazamukeli futhi akakwazi ukuzithanda.

Lena incazelo yeqiniso 'yokuba sengozini'. Ngethemba ukuthi zonke lezi zibonelo zizokunikeza umuzwa ocebile wothando. Ukuba sengozini ebuhlotsheni kubonisa zonke izingxenye zakho - ezinhle, ezimbi, umsebenzi-oqhubekayo, kanye nokulimala. Kuwuthando lweqiniso uma umlingani wakho ebona lezi zingxenye futhi akuthande ngalokho oyikho. Ukuba sengozini kwengeza okuthile kanye nombala ebudlelwaneni. Ukulimala kuyingxenye yohambo - Awukwazi ukumisa izindonga futhi ulindele ukuthi abantu bathembeke lapho wenqaba ukuba sengozini ngokwakho.

Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa

1. Ingabe ukuba sengozini kuyathandeka endodeni?

Yebo, abafana bathanda ukuba sengozini futhi bakuthola kukhanga. Uma usengozini, ukhululekile futhi uvulekele kumlingani wakho. Lokho kuholela ekusondelaneni okwengeziwe, okuzokusiza ekuqiniseni isibopho sakho nomlingani wakho.

2. Kubukeka kanjani ukuba sengozini endodeni?

Ukuba sengozini kowesilisa kubukeka njengobudlelwano obunempilo lapho bobabili bengaba bangempela futhi bangempela ngaphandle kokwesaba ukwahlulelwa noma ukuqondwa kabi. Kuzoba khona imidlalo encane yokuthola amaphutha nokusola uma sesisengozini nozakwethu.

Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.