Izinto Eziyi-15 Ezenzeka Uma Kungekho Ukuthembana Ebudlelwaneni

Ukuhlobana phakathi kokwethembana nothando kusemqoka ekwakheni ubudlelwano obunempilo. Njengoba uZendaya omuhle wake wacaphuna, "Ubudlelwano ngaphandle kokwethembana bufana namafoni angenayo isevisi. Futhi wenzani ngefoni ngaphandle kwesevisi? Udlala imidlalo." Leli qiniso elinzima lifingqa kahle okwenzekayo lapho kungekho ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni. 

Njengoba ngifunde izifundo ezibalulekile esikhathini esidlule lapho ukungathembani kubhebhetheka njengomlilo wequbula ebuhlotsheni bami, ngikuqonda ngokujulile ngakho. Ngikholwa ukuthi ukwethembana kubaluleke ngaphezu kothando ngoba uthando aluboni, kodwa ukuthembana akukho. Ukwethembana kunengqondo, kanti uthando luwukuxhamazela. Ukwethemba othile kuyisenzo esinengqondo, kanti isenzo sokuthanda othile asidingi ukulawula. Ungathandana nabantu abaningi ngokuthanda kwakho nangezikhathi eziningi njengoba inhliziyo yakho ifisa, kodwa udinga ukwethenjwa ukuze uhlale othandweni futhi usekele lolo thando.

Ingabe ubulokhu ulwa nezinkinga zokwethembana ebudlelwaneni futhi uzizwa ungavikelekile ngokuthi ikusasa likuphatheleni wena nomlingani wakho? Sivumele ukuthi sikusize ubone umthelela wokungathembi othandweni futhi uthole izindlela zokulungisa isimo, ngemininingwane evela kusazi wezengqondo. Jayant Sundaresan (I-Masters in Applied Psychology), osebenza ngokukhethekile ekululekeni ngezinkinga zobudlelwano ezihlukene njengokunqamuka kwezokuxhumana, ukuphathwa okulindelekile, ukungathembeki, ukuhlukana, kanye nesehlukaniso.

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U-Jayant uthi, “Ukwethembana kusisiza ukuba sigxile ezintweni ezinhle zozakwethu.Umlingani wakho uzoma nawe ebuhleni nasebubini uma nobabili seninokwethembana okukhulu kakhulu.Lesi sisekelo sakhiwa kancane njengoba nithuthuka ekuqondeni.Ubudlelwano obungenakwethembana bufana nemoto engenawo ugesi—ayi ndawo.

"Udinga umlingani olalela imicabango nemizwa yakho ejulile, ozoyiqonda, futhi ayiqinisekise. Ukungathembani ngeke kukuvumele ukuthi uvule isifuba kumuntu wakho obalulekile. Uma kungekho ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni, anivulekele ukwamukela noma ukunikeza uthando. Nobabili nizibekela imingcele komunye nomunye futhi ninqanda ukukhula kobudlelwano.

"Ngeke ukholwe omunye umuntu noma ngabe unobufakazi obungakanani bokuthi umsulwa phambi kwakho. Ukushisa okukhulu nomlilo kuzohaqa ubudlelwano, bulinde ukuthi bushe buphele. Akukho mnyakazo wangempela owenzekayo ebudlelwaneni ngoba akekho ofisa ukuqhubekela phambili."

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Pho, ungamthanda umuntu kodwa ungamethembi? Impendulo elula ithi, cha, awukwazi ngoba udinga ukwethembana ukuze nikhululeke omunye nomunye. Kukwenza uzizwe uvikelekile phambi kwesithandwa sakho futhi kukhulisa ukholo lokuthi uthembele kumlingani wakho ukuthi angakulimazi. Sesikushilo lokho, kungaba nezimo lapho uthanda khona umuntu futhi ungamethembi.

Isibonelo, uma umlingani wakho ekukhaphele ngandlela thize, ungase ungakwazi ukuvala imizwa ngobusuku obubodwa. Njengoba ubazonda ngokukhohlisa kwabo, kuyacasula ukuthi usamthanda kangakanani lo muntu. Kodwa-ke, ngaphandle uma kwenziwa imizamo yokulungisa ukuxhumana futhi kwakhiwe kabusha ukwethembana, ubudlelwano bungase bungapheli isikhathi eside. Uthando ngaphandle kokwethembana alwanele ukwakha ubuhlobo obuphumelelayo. Ekugcineni, ukungabaza nokungazethembi kuzosibekela isibopho.

Izinto Eziyi-15 Ezenzeka Uma Kungekho Ukuthembana Ebudlelwaneni

Ukuthembana kuthatha isikhathi ukwakha. Zicabange uhlangana nomuntu ezinkundleni zokuxhumana. Uqala ukuxoxa nabo njalo. Uze ukhulume nabo namakholi wevidiyo. Uyazi ukuthi bahlalaphi nokuthi benzani ukuze baziphilise, nokho uzinika isikhathi sakho ngaphambi kokuhlangana nabo ukuze uvikele ingozi yokuqolwa noma isipoki. Lokho kungenxa yokuthi nakuba kungase kube khona ukuxhumana, inhlansi, awubathembi ngokwanele ukuba bangene empilweni yakho ngokuphelele.

Ngokufanayo, ukwethemba kubalulekile kubo bonke izinhlobo zobudlelwano. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uthandana nomuntu nje, nithandana isikhathi eside, noma nishadile, udinga ukwazi ukumethemba ngokungananazi umlingani wakho ukuze ukwazi ukuthola injabulo nokwaneliseka ngaye. Ukuze uqonde ukuthi kungani kunjalo, ake sibheke ukuthi kwenzekani lapho kungekho ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni: 

1. Anikwazi ukuthembela komunye nomunye 

U-Jayant uthi, “Ubudlelwano ngaphandle kokwethembana kuzo zombili izinhlangothi ngeke bube nokwethenjelwa.Uya kanjani phambili ebudlelwaneni ube ungakwazi ukuthembela kumuntu othandana naye?Ukugcina ubudlelwano buqhubeka, udinga ukuthembela komunye nomunye.Ukungathembeki kungenzeka ngezindlela eziningi.Ake sithi umlingani wakho uthembisa ukubuya ekhaya ezodla isidlo sakusihlwa ngesikhathi, kodwa usuku nosuku, ngeke bathembeke kakhulu kumuntu othandana naye. okuphambene nakho qinisa ukuxhumana kwakho nabalingani bakho lapho amazwi nezenzo zabo zingahambelani.”

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2. Alikho itheku eliphephile 

U-Jayant uthi, “Ubudlelwano bufana nengubo yokulala. Itheku eliphephile ongafika kulo ekhaya ekupheleni kosuku futhi uzizwe uvikelekile futhi uvikelekile. Kufanele kube khona ukuphepha ngokomzwelo kubo bonke ubudlelwano. Sonke singabantu abalwa nezinto eziyibhiliyoni empilweni yethu yansuku zonke. Uma lingekho itheku eliphephile, asizizwa sivikelekile ekulimaleni nasekwahlulelweni. Ebudlelwaneni obungenakwethembana nenhlonipho, kuyohlale kukhona ukuntula umuzwa wokuphepha kanye nokuba ngowabanye. Ungase ube nomuzwa wokuthi lo muntu usebenzisa wena.”

Uma kukhona ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni, ubuyela ekhaya kumuntu ozimisele ukukhombisa ukukukhathalela nothando lwakhe kuwe. Lolu thando luthuthukisa ubuntu bethu. Kodwa lapho ukwethembana kuntuleka, uzizwa ungaphephile ebudlelwaneni bakho. Kancane kancane, isibopho sakho siyabola.

3. Ukuwohloka kokuxhumana

Ukuxhumana kuyinto ebaluleke kakhulu ukuze noma ibuphi ubudlelwano buhambe ngokuthula nangokushelela. Izinkinga zokuxhumana kungathinta ukusondelana nokuxhumana ngokomzwelo, kubangele izingxabano eziningi. Ake sithi umlingani wakho ufika ekhaya sekwephuzile izinsuku ezimbalwa zilandelana. Uyathanda ukwazi, uyasola, kodwa awubabuzi lutho ukuze nje ugweme ukungqubuzana okungajabulisi.

Kunalokho, ekhanda lakho, uqala ukuqagela izimo zabo zokukopela kuwe. Uma uke wazihlupha ngokubabuza, cishe ubungathola ukuthi banikezwe umsebenzi omusha othatha isikhathi sabo esiningi. Kungaleyo ndlela kanye ukukhulumisana okungekuhle kungena ngayo ezindabeni zokwethembana ebudlelwaneni. Nansi indlela u-Jayant akuchaza ngayo ukuwa kokuxhumana:

• Ngeke wabelane nomlingani wakho ngamaphupho akho, izifiso zakho, kanye nokwesaba kwakho
• Uma uyeka ukuxhumana, uzizwa ungaxhumene kangako nophathina wakho usuku ngalunye oludlulayo
• Lokhu kuzoholela ezingxabanweni ezikhulayo ngisho noma ingxabano imayelana nokuthile okungabalulekile
• Uzozwa sengathi awubonwa noma awuzwakali
• Uyohlale wenza umbono ongemuhle ngomlingani wakho noma ngabe unezinhloso ezinhle

4. Amaphutha ayanda 

U-Jayant wabelana ngeqiniso elishukumisa ingqondo mayelana namaphutha anwetshwa noma nini lapho ungamthembi umlingani wakho, akhulise ngisho nangokwengeziwe. izinkinga zobudlelwane obujwayelekile. Uthi: “Sonke asiphelele, sonke sizalwa sinamaphutha, kodwa lapho kungekho ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni, lokho kungapheleli kubhekwa ngengilazi yokukhulisa izingane.

"Isimo sengqondo esinjalo sokuphelelwa ithemba sivela endaweni yokungathembeki lapho kungekho khona ukwethembana. Ukwethembana kuyimfuneko eyinhloko ebuhlotsheni. Kuvusa ikusasa elihle lokufuna ukuba nothile. Lapho amaphutha akho ehlungwa futhi ehlolwa, kudala indawo elimazayo neyingozi."

5. Ukuqhuma kwemizwa engemihle

Uma uthanda futhi umethemba othile futhi unobudlelwano obunempilo, uvame ukuba nezingxoxo ezithembekile nezivulelekile lapho ungalungisa khona izinkinga njengoba zivela. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, lapho ucindezela lezo zinkinga esikhundleni sokukhuluma, kuzodingeka ubhekane ngokushesha ukukhukhuleka ngokomzwelo ngendlela yentukuthelo yokungenzi lutho kanye nokucasukela umlingani wakho. NgokukaJayant, nakhu okwenzeka ebudlelwaneni obugcwele ukungakhulumisani nokungathembani:

• Ngenxa yayo yonke imizwa engemihle egwinywayo esikhundleni sokuthi wabelane nomlingani wakho, ekugcineni uzothatha isimo sengqondo sokungenzi lutho.
• Uzosola umlingani wakho ngakho konke ukuphazamiseka okuncane futhi izingxoxo zakho eziningi zingagcina ziphenduke ingxabano
• Uzoba nenhliziyo ebuhlungu, ukhale, ucasuke, futhi uvukwe yintukuthelo futhi isizathu esiwukuphela kokuziphatha kwakho okubi akuyona into kodwa kunzima ukwethemba umlingani wakho.

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6. Niyakugwema ukuchitha isikhathi ninobabili

Udinga ukuchitha isikhathi nomlingani wakho ukuze umqonde kangcono futhi wakhe isibopho esijulile. Uma uthanda umuntu, awukwazi ukumuthola ngokwanele. Kodwa uma kungekho ukwethembana, ukuchitha isikhathi esihle ndawonye kungase kube umshikashika. Ngisho noma nindawonye, ​​anikwazi ngempela ukuxhumana ngoba ukungathembani kuholela ezindongeni zemizwa phakathi kwakho nomlingani wakho.

UJayant uthi: “Ebudlelwaneni obungenakwethembana nenhlonipho, ngeke wenze okuthile okunempilo komunye umuntu, lokhu kuyoholela ekwehlukaneni kwemibono okungenakubalwa.

7. Imicabango evamisile yokusola nokukhaphela

U-Jayant uthi, “Ake sithi wena nophathina wakho niye emcimbini, nina nobabili emakamelweni ahlukene, ingqondo yakho iqala ukuzulazula futhi igcwele ukunganaki ngomlingani wakho, ucabanga ukuthi kufanele benzeni. umyeni ukhuluma nomunye wesifazane, noma umkakho unyonyobele nomunye umuntu. Nakuba nobabili nisephathini eyodwa, uzibona ngeso lengqondo sebekuqhatha ngoba nje amehlo akho awababoni. Uyakungabaza ukuziphatha nobuqotho bomlingani wakho kuwe ngisho noma bethembeke ngokuphelele. Uma kungabikho ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni bakho, uzothatha izinto ezimbi kakhulu ngabo.”

8. Ukuhlasela okuyimfihlo kuvamile

U-Jayant uchaza ngephuzu langaphambilini, "Ebudlelwaneni ngaphandle kokwethembana, kungase kube nokugadwa kwendawo yakho yomuntu siqu kanye nesikhathi. Ake sithi ufike sekwephuzile ngemizuzu embalwa ukusuka emsebenzini. Kuzodingeka uphendule leyo mizuzu engekho. Uzolindeleka ukuthi uphendule kuleyo mizuzu ngokushesha.

"Isikhala sakho sizohlaselwa. Inkundla yakho yezokuxhumana izogadwa. Izingcingo zakho nemiyalezo kuzobhekwa yize ukuhlola ifoni yozakwethu akuwona neze umqondo omuhle. Ake sithi uwena ongamthembi umuntu wakho. Uba yinja egadayo. Uma umlingani wakho ethola ukuthi ubheka zonke izenzo zakhe, maduze nje, uzoqala ukukuzonda. Ngenxa yophenyo lwakho olungapheli, umlingani wakho uzozizwa ecindezelekile kulesi simo sokungathembani. "

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9. Uzoqhuma ekuhlaselweni okungenasisekelo

I-Pre-emption isho ukwenza okuthile ngaphambi komunye umuntu. Ake sithi othile uhlela ukukulimaza. Kodwa ubazwise ubuhlungu bengakakwenzi okubi kuwe. Empeleni uthatha isinyathelo ukuze ubavimbele ekuthatheni isenzo esifanayo. U-Jayant uthi, “Ucabanga ukuthi, 'Ake ngenze lokho kuwe ngaphambi kokuba ukwenze lokho kimi. Ngokuyisisekelo umqondo wokuthi 'Ngizokukhohlisa ngaphambi kokuthi ungikhohlise' ubangelwa ukwesaba Uma usaba ukuthi umlingani wakho angase akukopele, uzomkhohlisa ngoba ufuna ukumlimaza ngaphambi kokuba akulimaze.

10. Amathuba okungethembeki ayakhula

Amathuba okuthi umlingani wakho ashele aphakeme ngempela uma kungekho ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni. Ake sithathe isikhashana ukukhomba indida lapha. Zonke lezi zinsuku ubulokhu usola futhi ungaze umangalele umlingani wakho ngamanga ngokuthi akathembekile ekubeni emsulwa ngempela. Ekugcineni, izinsolo zakho ezihlala njalo ezingenabulungiswa ezibaqhubezela ekungathembeki. U-Jayant uchaza kabanzi ngesimo sendlela ukungathembeki okungena ngayo ebudlelwaneni:

• Lapho umlingani oyedwa ethola ithemba elingaka ebuhlotsheni, ukuhlangana nabantu abasha kuzozizwa njengomoya ohlanzekile
• Lowo moya ohlanzekile uyobenza babone ukuthi abantu bangahluka futhi ubuhlobo bungajabulisa
• Ngenxa ye izindaba zokuthembela ebudlelwaneni, bangase bagcine benza into ababengahlosile ukuyenza
• Ukungamethembi kuzobafaka ezingalweni zomunye umuntu lapho izingxoxo zilula, zikhululekile, futhi zikhululekile
• Bazobona umehluko phakathi kobudlelwano babo nalokhu kuguquguquka okusha, babone ukuthi ubudlelwano obunempilo busebenza kanjani, futhi manje bazofuna injabulo nalo muntu omusha.

11. Ukungamethembi kungaholela ekwehlukaneni

Ekugcineni, konke kuphelela embuzweni owodwa, “Ungamthanda umuntu futhi ungamethembi?” Hhayi-ke, siyaxolisa ukukuphula, kodwa uthando ngaphandle kokwethembana akuwona amandla anamandla okugcina ubuhlobo buhlangene ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Uma ungeke ulethembe igama eliphuma emlonyeni womlingani wakho, uma uzizwa ungalondekile ngokuzibophezela kwabo ebudlelwaneni, uma kungekho kinina okulungele ukuthatha isinyathelo sokuqala sokwakha kabusha ukwethembana, mhlawumbe kungcono ukuzikhipha osizini lwakho futhi ukuphule.

Ephendula umbuzo othi kungani ukwethembana kubalulekile ebudlelwaneni, uJayant uthi, “Ubudlelwano ngaphandle kokwethembana ngeke buqhubeke. Ngenxa yokungakwazi ukukhula kanye nakho konke ukuziphatha kokuzilimaza, ngeke ukwazi ukwenza uxhumano olujulile. Ngaphandle uma zombili izinhlangothi zenza imizamo yokwakha ukwethembana nokuthola izindlela zokuphuma ekungathembani, kuyoba nesiphetho esibi esingenakugwenywa sobudlelwano.”

12. Ibanga elingokomzwelo liyakhula

Uma ungazi ukuthi umethemba kanjani umlingani wakho, kungaba nzima kuwe ukumkhuthaza ubungozi ebudlelwaneni. Ungase ugweme ukwabelana ngemicabango, imizwa, ukulwa, kanye namathemba, ngenxa yokwesaba ukwahlulela noma ukwesaba ukuthi umlingani wakho angase asebenzise lobu buthakathaka kuwe. 

Echaza indlela lokhu okulithinta ngayo izinga lobuhlobo, u-Jayant uthi, “Ukuntuleka noma ukuwohloka kokwethembana kulimaza ukusondelana ngokomzwelo phakathi kombhangqwana. Lokhu kungashiya bobabili ozakwethu bezizwa behlukanisiwe futhi bengaxhumekile komunye nomunye. 

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13. Isidingo esiqhubekayo sokuqinisekiswa

Lapho ungamethembi umlingani wakho ukuthi uzokwenza kahle ngawe, ukuvela kuwe, ukuthi angakukhapheli, ukungazethembi kuyaqala ukubamba. Lokhu kungazethembi kudala isidingo esingapheli sokuqinisekisa noma ukuqinisekiswa kothando lomunye, ukwethembeka, noma ukuzibophezela

“Lokhu njalo isidingo sokuqinisekiswa futhi ukuqinisekiswa kungabhidliza ubudlelwano. Umlingani ocelwa ukuba anikeze iziqinisekiso njalo angase azizwe ekhathele futhi ekhungatheka, kanti umuntu ofunayo angase azizwe edumazekile noma engalondekile ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho lesi sidingo singahlangatshezwana ngokwanele.” Manje, akunzima ukubona ukuthi lokhu kungaba kanjani amandla kubo bobabili abalingani.  

14. Ukwenza izinqumo kuba nzima

Ukwenza izinqumo zesikhathi esifushane nezesikhathi eside ndawonye kuyingxenye ebalulekile yokuba sebudlelwaneni, futhi lokho kudinga izinga elithile lokwethembana. Kufanele ukholwe ukuthi umlingani wakho ukufunela okuhle kakhulu ukuze ukwazi ukuthatha lokho kugxuma kokholo. Ebudlelwaneni obungenakwethembana, lokhu kungaba inselele enkulu. 

Uma ungazi ukuthi umethemba kanjani umlingani wakho, konke ukukhetha, kungaba izinqumo zezimali, ukuba umzali, noma ukwabelana ngemithwalo yemfanelo yokuhlela iholide, kungaba umthombo wokucindezeleka, ukukhathazeka, kanye nokungqubuzana, okuholela ekutheni ubudlelwano obunzima. “Ukwenza izinqumo lapho kungekho ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni kungase kuzwakale njengokuzulazula enkundleni yempi, wena nomlingani wakho nisezinhlangothini eziphikisanayo,” kusho u-Jayanat. 

15. Amandla angenampilo ayavela

Ukuntula ukwethembana kungenza ubudlelwano bube umdanso wokuhlangana ndawonye, ​​lapho umlingani oyedwa ehlala ezama ukubusa omunye ukuze abhekane nokungazethembi kwakhe. Lokhu kuqalisa umnyakazo a ukulwa kwamandla lokho kudala ukungalingani ezindabeni zobudlelwano, okwenza ozakwethu bacasuke. "Amandla aguquguqukayo ayinkomba ecacile yezinkinga zokwethembana komunye noma kubo bobabili ozakwethu, okuthi esikhundleni sokusebenza ekusunguleni ubudlelwano babantu abalinganayo basebenze endaweni esongelayo noma yokungavikeleki, bahlale befuna ukulawula ukuze bazivikele," kusho u-Jayant. 

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Njengoba kusobala kakhulu, akunakwenzeka ukwakha ubuhlobo obude, obuhlala njalo ngaphandle kokwethembana. Umbuzo wokuthi ungamthanda yini umuntu futhi ungamethembi empeleni awubalulekile ngoba, lapho kungekho ukwethembana, ubudlelwano buzogcwala izinkinga eziningi. Uma wena noma umlingani wakho nizabalaza ngezinkinga zokwethembana kodwa nithandane futhi nazisana ngokwanele ukuze nifune ukubhekana nezinkinga zenu futhi nakhe ukuxhumana okunempilo, niyazi ukuthi yini okufanele niyenze - tholani ukuthi ningakha kanjani ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni. 

Uma kucatshangelwa ukuthi ukungakwazi ukwethemba kuvame ukugxila ekuhlukumezekeni ngokomzwelo, kusukela esikhathini esidlule noma ebudlelwaneni bakho bamanje, akuyona nje indaba yokuphuma kukho. Ukwakha ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni kuthatha umsebenzi wangempela nomzamo ongaguquki kubo bobabili abalingani. Lokho kusho, akunakwenzeka futhi. Ngalawa mathiphu asekelwe uchwepheshe, ungafunda ukuthi ungamethemba kanjani uzakwenu: 

1. Zijwayeze ukubonisa izinto obala

Ukuthembana kwakhelwe phezu kokwethembeka. Ngakho, uma uzibuza indlela yokunqoba izinkinga zokwethembana, udinga ukusebenzela ukukhuthaza ukuvuleleka nokungafihli mayelana nemizwa yakho, izinhloso, kanye nezenzo zakho, ikakhulukazi ezimweni ezinzima. Khuluma ngeqiniso futhi uthembeke, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi iqiniso linzima kangakanani. 

U-Jayant uyeluleka, "Ukukhulisa ukwethembana kusho ukwakha umuzwa wokwethembeka nokwethembeka. Lokho kungenzeka kuphela uma wabelana ngemicabango yakho nokuhlangenwe nakho nomlingani wakho ngaphandle kokugodla imininingwane ebalulekile, uphendule ngezenzo zakho, futhi wamukele esikhundleni sokukufihla."

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2. Landela izithembiso

U-Jayant uthi, "Ukuze wakhe ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi ugcine izwi lakho futhi ulandele izithembiso zakho ngokungaguquki. Uma uzibophezele kumlingani wakho, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uzofika ngesikhathi esidlweni sakusihlwa noma ungabe usabaqamba amanga kuye, yibambe. Njalo lapho wenza isithembiso, ubonisa umlingani wakho ukuthi athembele kuwe."

Ngesikhathi esifanayo, kubalulekile ukuthi ungazibophezeli ngokweqile noma wenze izithembiso ongeke ukwazi ukuzigcina ukuze nje ushweleze umlingani wakho noma uxazulule ukungqubuzana. Uma wenza lokho futhi wehluleka ukusekela isiphetho sakho, ukwethembana kuthatha ukushaya. Uma kwenzeka uzithola usesimweni lapho ungakwazi ukwenza okuthile ozibophezele kukho, tshela umlingani wakho ngakho futhi umchazele ukuthi kungani. 

3. Khuluma ngokukhululekile futhi njalo

Ungafunda kanjani ukwethemba futhi, uyazibuza? Uma kunesixazululo esisodwa somlingo ku-conundrum yakho, kunjalo ukuxhumana okuqotho nokuvulelekayo. “Izingxoxo eziqotho nezivamile zakha isisekelo sokwethembana ebuhlotsheni,” kusho uJayant. Ngakho, zinikeni isikhathi sokuxoxa nsuku zonke, ngisho nangezinto ezincane noma ezibonakala zingasho lutho. Yabelana ngemizwa yakho, futhi ukhuthaze umlingani wakho ukuba enze okufanayo. Lapho uqala ukuba nomuzwa wokuthi ningaxoxa nganoma yini nanganoma yini ngaphandle kokwesaba ukwahlulela noma ukuhlehla, ukwethembana kuqala ukuqhakaza. 

4. Fundani ukuba sengozini omunye nomunye

U-Jayant uthi, “Ukuba sengozini yisibeletho lapho uthando nokwethemba kudonsa khona ukuphila. ukuxhumana ngokomzwelo yakhelwe esisekelweni esiqinile sokwethembana.” Ukuba sengozini kusho ukuthi, 

• Ukwabelana nabanye ngokwesaba kwakho, ukungazethembi, nobuwena beqiniso nabanye 
• Ukuhweba izindaba zomuntu siqu, izinkathazo, noma amaphupho ongavamile ukukhuluma ngawo
• Yenza omunye nomunye azizwe ephephile ekuvuleni 

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Kuyini Ukuthethelela Ebudlelwaneni Futhi Kungani Kubalulekile

5. Xolisa futhi uthethelele ngobuqotho

Noma ngabe uzama kangakanani ukwenza okufanele, amaphutha ayenzeka. Nokho, akuwona wonke amaphutha okufanele asuse ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni bakho. Uma esingathwa kahle, amaphutha angaba yithuba lokuqinisa ubuhlobo benu nokwethembana komunye nomunye. 

Manje, kusho ukuthini ukuthi “uma iphathwe kahle”? Kusho ukuthi iphutha kufanele lilandelwe ukuxolisa okuqotho kozakwethu owonile kanye nomzamo wangempela wokuthethelela, komunye. Lokhu kuvula indlela ukwakha kabusha ukwethembana ngemva kokwephulwa komthetho. Mayelana nendlela yokuxolisa nokuthethelela, uJayant uyeluleka, “Xolisa ngaphandle kokuthethelela izenzo zakho lapho uzwise umlingani wakho ubuhlungu.

6. Ungaguquguquki ezenzweni zakho

Ukungaguquguquki ekuziphatheni kwakha umuzwa we ukuphepha ebuhlotsheni, futhi yingakho kuba yingxenye ebalulekile yokwelapha lapho uzama ukuthola ukuthi ungazinqoba kanjani izinkinga zokwethembana. U-Jayant uthi, “Lapho wazi ukuthi yini ongayilindela kumlingani wakho futhi ngokuphambene nalokho, ukwethemba kuza kalula. 

7. Hlonipha imingcele

Ukubeka imingcele nokuhlonipha kuyindlela eqinisekile yokukhuthaza ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni. Uma wazi ukuthi umlingani wakho uhlonipha eyakho siqu, ngokomzimba, noma imingcele yemizwa, uzizwa uphephile ebuhlotsheni bakho, okubuye kukhulise ukwethembana nokuhloniphana.

UJayant uthi, “Xoxa ngokuthi yimiphi imingcele ebalulekile kuwena nakumlingani wakho, futhi uqiniseke ukuthi uyayihlonipha.” Ukuhlonipha imingcele kubonisa ukuthi uyabazisa ubuntu nokuzimela komlingani wakho, okuqinisa ukwethembana nokuhloniphana. Ngokuhlanganisa lawa macebiso okwakha ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni bakho, ungakha isisekelo esiqinile sokwethembana esikhuthaza uthando, inhlonipho, nokusondelana ngokomzwelo.

imibuzo ejwayelekile ukubuzwa

Imicabango Final

Kungani ukwethembana kubalulekile ebudlelwaneni? Ngoba uma ingekho, uzomxosha umlingani wakho futhi ngeke ukuthole injabulo naphakade uma unemicabango engabaza ngaye. Ukusola njalo, ukuntuleka kokukhulumisana, kanye nokuqubuka kwemizwa ekugcineni kuzophazamisa ubudlelwano benu. Kodwa-ke, akunakwenzeka ukulungisa isimo futhi uthole ukuthi ungakha kanjani ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni. Ukuze wakhe kabusha ukwethembana, qala ngezinyathelo ezincane njengokuxoxa ngezithiyo zakho nozakwenu, ukulalela ngenkuthalo, ukuchitha isikhathi esiningi ndawonye, ​​nokugcina umqondo ovulekile. Okubalulekile ukuthi nobabili nisebenze njengeqembu ukuze nizuze ukwethembana nokugcina ubuhlobo buphila.

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Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.