Ukuthandana Nothile Onokukhathazeka – Amathiphu Awusizo, Ongakwenza, Nokungamelwe Ukwenze

Umngane usanda kutholakala emtholampilo ukuthi une-anxieurosis. Phakathi kokunye okwakumkhathaza, wayekhathazekile ngokuthi umlingani wakhe uzocabangani lapho ethola ukuthi ujola nomuntu okhathazekile. Kuyinto eyodwa ukusho ukuthi uzizwa 'ukhathazekile' ngesimo, kodwa ukusibona sibhalwe phansi ephepheni lencwadi kadokotela kungaletha umuzwa owesabekayo wokuphetha. Kodwa futhi kungasiza umuntu axhumanise amachashazi, aqonde isikhathi sakhe esidlule ngendlela emnene, futhi azi ukuthi angabhekana kanjani nokubuza lokho akudingayo.

Masicacise - ukuthandana nomuntu okhathazekile kungase kube nzima noma kukhungathekise ngezinye izikhathi, kodwa kungaphezu kokungenzeka ukuba nobudlelwano obujabulisayo nobuqinile lapho uthandana nomuntu onokukhathazeka nokucindezeleka (lokhu okubili ngokuvamile kutholakala kuhambisana). Kungase kuthathe umsebenzi omningi kunobudlelwano obujwayelekile, futhi kuwukuhlakanipha ukuqaphela nokuzilungiselela ngaphambi kokuba ungene kuxhumano olunjalo.

Kufanele wazi imikhawulo yakho, futhi ube nokungenzeleli komunye umuntu, uma uthandana nomuntu okhathazekile. Bafanelwe umlingani, ngemva kwakho konke, oqondayo futhi ohlonipha impilo yabo yengqondo. Ngakho-ke, kusemqoka empumelelweni yobudlelwano obunjalo ukuthi uqonde ukuthi ukukhathazeka kusebenza kanjani nokuthi kubonakala kanjani ebuhlotsheni bothando.

Sabuza umeluleki Neelam Vats (umsebenzi oqinisekisiwe we-CBT kanye ne-NLP), onesipiliyoni seminyaka engaphezu kwamashumi amabili esiza izingane, intsha, kanye nabantu abadala babhekane nezinkinga ezihlobene nokudangala, ukukhathazeka, ubudlelwano phakathi kwabantu, nokukhathazeka ngomsebenzi, ukuze uthole imininingwane yokujola nomuntu okhathazekile.

Ukuqonda Ukukhathazeka

Nakuba ukukhathazeka kungabangelwa izenzakalo ezinkulu zokuphila ezifana ukucindezeleka ngemva kokuhlukana, ukushona kothandekayo noma ukucindezeleka okuhlobene nomsebenzi, kungase futhi kube khona ngenxa yezenzakalo ezimbalwa ezibonakala zizincane ezakhayo ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. U-Neelam uthi, “Ukukhathazeka yisimo, hhayi isifo.

Okufanele Ukwazi Uma Umlingani Wakho Enokukhathazeka - Izinto Ezi-5

Ukuqomisana nomuntu okhathazekile kudinga izinga eliphezulu lokuqonda, hhayi nje ngesimo ngokwaso, kodwa ukuthi kuzovela kanjani ebudlelwaneni. U-Neelam uveze izinto ezibalulekile okumele uzazi uma umlingani wakho enokukukhathazeka.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ukubhekana Nesoka Elikunikeza Ukuhlaselwa Kokukhathazeka - Amathiphu angu-8 Awusizo

1. Awukho ekhasini elilodwa

“Lapho uphola nothile okhathazekile, qonda ukuthi cishe ufika ebudlelwaneni obuhluke ngokuphelele,” kusho u-Neelam. Umuntu ogcwele ukukhathazeka angase angazizwa ephephile ukusondela kothile, noma aveze isimo sakhe, futhi njengozakwethu, kungaba kuhle uma ungasiza ukuzizwa ukuphepha ngokomzwelo ebuhlotsheni.

Uyanezela, "Phakathi nezingxabano/izingxoxo, ungase ube nomuzwa wokuthi umlingani wakho akanangqondo noma unomzwelo ngokweqile. Qonda ukuthi izinto ezimbaxambili zokunengqondo nemizwa azisebenzi ngaso sonke isikhathi kubantu abanokukhathazeka. Kungase kubonakale sengathi ukusabela kwabo kuvela endaweni engenangqondo noma engenangqondo, kodwa lokhu kungokoqobo ngokujulile kubo futhi akumele kukhishwe ngisho noma ungavumelani nakho."

2. Umlingani wakho angase agweme izindawo noma izimo ezithile

“Ukugwema kuyisici esiyinhloko sokukhathazeka,” kusho uNeelam. Kungenzeka ukuthi uphathina okhathazekile uhlonze izinto ezithile ezibangisa isimo sakhe bese ephuma ezama ukugwema lezi zimo, ngoba esaba ukuthi zizoba novalo. Lokhu kungase kuhlanganise imicimbi yomphakathi efana namaphathi, izingxoxo zomsebenzi, ukuhlangana nomndeni wozakwethu, nokuya noma yikuphi lapho okunesixuku noma abantu ongabazi.

Lokhu kungasho ukuthi unjalo ukuthandana nomuntu onokukhathazeka komphakathi. Kubalulekile ukukhuluma ngalezi zimbangela ezingase zibe khona ngaphambi kokungena esimweni esingase sibe nengcindezi, futhi wenze umlingani wakho azizwe ephephile futhi ekhululekile ngangokunokwenzeka, nakuba, kunjalo, umsebenzi omningi udinga ukwenziwa yibo futhi.

3. Bavame ukukhathala

Nakuba ukukhathala okungapheli kanye nokukhathala kungase kube ingxenye yokukhathazeka, ngokuyinhloko ukuhlala ngokwesaba noma ukukhathazeka okubaqeda amandla. “Uma umuntu othandana naye ethi ukhathele, ngisho noma kubonakala sengathi akenzanga lutho olutheni usuku lonke, qonda ukuthi ukuphila nokukhathazeka kuyakhathaza.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izindlela Eziyi-9 Zokubhekana Nokukhathazeka Ngobudlelwano - Amathiphu Avela Kochwepheshe

“Kungenzeka futhi ukuthi bazama ukukutshela ukuthi besaba ukuzikhandla kakhulu okwamanje ngoba badinga ukulawula amandla abo omzimba noma engqondo kuqala,” kusho u-Neelam. Ungabenzi bazizwe 'bevilapha' noma 'benensa' - ungasebenzisi ngisho lawo magama ngokuncokola uma bethi bakhathele. Umlingani wakho okhathazekile unokwanele ukuthatha njengoba enjalo.

4. Ukukhathazeka kunengxenye yomzimba

Nakuba ukukhathazeka ngokuyinhloko kubhekwa njengesimo sempilo yengqondo, izimo zempilo engokomzimba nengqondo azivamile ukuhlukana. Konke kuhlanganisiwe, futhi ukuhlukaniswa kokukodwa kuzovela kokunye. Kwabanye abantu, ukukhathazeka kubonakala njengokucabanga ngokweqile, ukucindezeleka, ukungalali, njalonjalo. Kwabanye, izimpawu zomzimba zingase zibe namandla kakhulu.

"Abanye abantu abanenkinga yokukhathazeka bangase bathambekele ekuhlaselweni ukwesaba. Lokhu kungase kwesabe ikakhulukazi ngoba ukuzwa okungokomzimba ukujuluka, ukushaya kwenhliziyo, ukuphefumula, njalo njalo. Lezi zimpawu zihlala isikhashana, kodwa zingasabisa nakuba kunjalo, "kusho uNeelam. Ukushukuma komzimba noma izipho ukukhulula ukucindezeleka wamukelekile lapha, kodwa futhi, ukulalela nokuqonda kubalulekile.

5. Ukukhathazeka kungase kuvele ezintweni ezingabonakali

Uma uwuhlobo lomuntu ovamise ukuzola futhi ohlelekile, ungase ucabange ukuthi awunakho ukukhathazeka. Iqiniso liwukuthi, ukucindezeleka kungase kungabonakali futhi ngenxa yokulawula ukucindezeleka okubi, ungase ungakwazi ngisho nokuqaphela.

Uma kunjalo ngomlingani wakho, ungalindeli ukuthi izinto ezimbangelayo zibonakale, noma ukuthi acushwe yizinto ezifanayo izikhathi ezingaphezu kwesisodwa. Nakuba kunezifundo eziningi mayelana nokukhathazeka, awukho umsebenzi wobuchopho wabantu ababili osebenza ngendlela efanayo. Ngiyazi abantu abavuswa wukuphefumula okujulile, okuyiyona nto okumele ikuthulise. Umsebenzi wakho uku yiba yisilaleli esihle nokusekela, hhayi ukwahlulela.

Ukuthi Ukukhathazeka Kungabuthinta Kanjani Ubudlelwano Bakho - Izindlela ezi-3

Kunokuqonda ukukhathazeka, bese kuba nokuqonda ukuthi kuzovela kanjani ebudlelwaneni bakho. Bangase bathi uthando lunqoba konke, kodwa alikho ikhambi eliwumlingo lokukhathazeka, ngakho ungalindeli ukukhathazeka komlingani wakho ukuthi kunyamalale ekuqhumeni kwebhomu lothando. Noma ngabe uthandana nomuntu onokukhathazeka ngobudlelwano, noma ujola nomuntu onokukhathazeka kanye ne-ADHD, kubalulekile ukuthi wazi ukuthi buthinta kanjani ubuhlobo bakho.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimpawu Eziyisi-9 Zokuyekethisa Okungenampilo Ebudlelwaneni

1. Zivela zivaliwe

"Umlingani okhathazekile ngokuvamile angabonakala evalekile. Ukuvala umlingani kungenye yezindlela ukukhathazeka okuthinta ngayo ubudlelwano bothando futhi kungabangelwa ukwesaba okukhulu ukwaliwa nokungazi ukuthi kwenziwa kanjani. bhekana nokwaliwa othandweni,” kusho uNelam.

Umlingani okhathazekile angase avale lapho ezizwa engaphephile ebudlelwaneni - ezingxabanweni noma kunoma yiluphi uhlobo lwengxabano. Abavamile ukugomela ngemizwa yabo, ngakho ukukhala uma becasukile, becasukile, noma bengaqinisekile ukuthi babhekana kanjani nakho. Ezikhathini eziningi, lapho bekunikeza impatho buthule, badinga ukunxenxwa futhi baqinisekiswe ukuthi kuphephile ukuthi baveze imizwa yabo.

Uma ukhona ukuthandana nomuntu one-ADHD, ukuba matasa nokungahlelekile okufanekisela lesi simo kungenza izinto zibe nzima ebuhlotsheni. Ukufunda ukuthi yini esebenzela umlingani wakho nokudala indawo ephephile ukuze babe ngokwabo futhi baxhumane ngokukhululekile kubaluleke kakhulu lapha.

2. Ngezinye izikhathi bacabanga okubi kakhulu

“Ukuthandana nomuntu okhathazekile kusho ukuthi ukulungele ukubhekana nokwesaba kwakhe, kanye nokucabanga kwabo ukuthi izinto zizohamba ngendlela embi kakhulu,” kusho uNeelam. "Lokhu kungenza izingxenye ezijwayelekile zobudlelwano - izingxabano nokungaboni ngaso linye - kucindezele kakhulu futhi kube nzima ukuzilungisa."

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izinto Ezingu-9 Okufanele Uzenze Uma Yonke Ingxoxo Iphenduka Ingxabano

Ngamanye amazwi, ukuthandana nomuntu onokukhathazeka nokucindezeleka kungasho ukusebenza kanzima ukuze udale injabulo ngezinye izikhathi. Ukuthambekela kwabo kokucabanga okubi kakhulu kungenza izinto ezincane zibonakale ziziningi kakhulu, ngakho-ke nobabili nizodinga ukusebenzela ukwakha ubuhlobo obuqinile nobujabulisayo.

3. Ukucabanga ngokweqile kuyindlela yokuphila

“Abantu abanokukhathazeka ngobudlelwano bavame ukucabanga ngokweqile ngabalingani babo kanye namazwi nezenzo zabo.” Ngezinye izikhathi, bangase babe nomuzwa wokuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle ngobuhlobo babo, ngisho nalapho kungekho ukungqubuzana,” kuchaza uNeelam.

Ake sibhekane nakho, sekwanele umthwalo wemizwa ebuhlotsheni obuningi, ngisho nakulabo lapho kungekho muntu ohlushwa ukukhathazeka. Lapho uthandana nomuntu okhathazekile, igama, ukubukeka, iphimbo kungababeka ukuthi bacabangele ubudlelwano bonke.

Amathiphu angu-7 Wokuqomisana Nomuntu Onokukhathazeka

Ngakho-ke, uthandana nomuntu okhathazekile, futhi usukulungele ukwenza noma yini edingekayo ukuze ubudlelwano busebenze. Nawa amanye amathiphu njengoba usebenza ngobudlelwano bakho.

1. Yiba nolwazi ngokukhathazeka

“Kubalulekile ukuzifundisa nokujwayelana nohlobo lokukhathazeka umlingani wakho abhekene nalo.” Uma usuzikhandle ukuze ufunde futhi ungamsoli ngesimo sakhe, ngeke usacabanga ukuthi ukuthandana nomuntu okhathazekile kuyakhathaza,” kusho uNeelam.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: 8 Ukwesaba Okujwayelekile Ebudlelwaneni: Amathiphu Ochwepheshe Okunqoba

Mhlawumbe uthandana nomuntu onobudlelwano be-OCD, noma mhlawumbe uthandana nomuntu onokukhathazeka kanye ne-ADHD. Ukukhathazeka kunezinhlobo ezehlukene futhi kubalulekile ukuthi wazi ukuthi ngempela uphathina wakho uphethwe yini. Funda ngombandela, mhlawumbe joyina iqembu lokusekela noma umphakathi ongakhuluma nawo futhi wabelane ngemizwa nemibuzo yakho nawo. Khumbula, ukuyiziba noma ukuyigwema ngeke kukusize wena noma umlingani wakho; ukwazi okwengeziwe ngayo kuzokusiza nobabili nibhekane kangcono.

2. Thola izinto ezibangela umlingani wakho

Yini eyenza ukuthi umlingani wakho akhathazeke? "Ezinye izimbangela ezivamile i-caffeine, izindaba, inkundla yezokuxhumana, ukungqubuzana, imicabango engemihle, izimo ezicindezelayo, nokunye," kusho u-Neelam. Kungenzeka ukuthi usuyazi ukuthi inkundla yezokuxhumana ibuthinta kanjani ubudlelwano, kodwa lokhu kuhlukile. Uma usuzazi izimbangela zomlingani wakho, noma okungenani ezinye zazo, ningaxoxa ngezindlela zokunciphisa isimo esinjalo.

Manje, awukwazi ukugwema izindaba, inkundla yezokuxhumana, noma ingcindezi ngokuphelele, kodwa ungabasekela mhlawumbe ngokwenza uhlelo lapho ukuchayeka kwabo, ngakho-ke, ukukhathazeka kwabo komphakathi kuncishisiwe. Kubalulekile futhi ukuqhamuka nochungechunge lwezenzo ezisiza ngohlobo lwazo oluthile lwezibangeli zokukhathazeka.

3. Yiba isilaleli esikhuthele

Ukuzijwayeza ukulalela kangcono ebuhlotsheni kuhlala kuwumqondo omuhle. Kodwa kuyini ukulalela ngenkuthalo lapho uthandana nomuntu okhathazekile? Konke kumayelana nokubabonisa ukuthi uyabezwa ngempela kanye nokwesaba kwabo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi lezo zinkathazo noma ubukhulu bazo zingahlobene kanjani nawe.

Ungakuchithi ukwesaba kwabo noma ukunciphise nganoma iyiphi indlela. Khumbula, kubo, lokhu kwesaba kungokoqobo ngokuphelele; empeleni, lokhu kwesaba kuyisisekelo okusebenza kuso ingxenye enkulu yokuphila kwabo. Lalela ngokucophelela, unikeze amagama asekelayo lapho nalapho ucabanga ukuthi adingeka, futhi ube khona nje.

4. Zijayeze

Lalela, kulula ukubambeka ekunakekeleni umlingani wakho lapho egcwele ukukhathazeka. Kungase kube yisifo esingamahlalakhona futhi kumayelana nokulawula izimpawu kunokwelapha unomphela. Kodwa, nawe kufanele uzinakekele.

Ukuzinakekela kulokhu kusho ukuzinika isikhathi, futhi ukhumbule ukuthi unempilo nobuwena ngaphandle kwalobu budlelwano futhi ngaphandle kokukhathazeka komlingani wakho. Ukubanakekela kuyingxenye yempilo yakho, kodwa uma ukhathele noma ubacasukela, ngeke kubusize ubuhlobo bakho.

5. Lungiselela ukuhlaselwa ukwethuka

“Kubalulekile ukufunda izindlela ezingcono kakhulu zokusabela esimweni sabo sokukhathazeka lapho kuhlaselwa,” kusho uNeelam. Kwabanye abantu, ukuhlasela kubonakala ngokwesaba kanye ne-paranoia. Kwabanye, kunezimpawu eziningi ezingokomzimba ezishiwo ekuqaleni - ukuphelelwa umoya, ukushaya kwenhliziyo, isiyezi, njalo njalo.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izindlela Eziyi-9 Zokuzijwayeza Ukucabangela Ebudlelwaneni Obuseduze

Ukuthandana nomuntu onokukhathazeka komphakathi kungasho ukuthi lokhu kuhlasela kwenzeka esidlangalaleni. Ngezinye izikhathi, ukuhlala phansi ngokushesha futhi uphefumule kakhulu kuyasiza. Ngezinye izikhathi, ukukhuluma ngakho futhi ukuhlehlisa kube amagama kwenza kube nzima kakhulu. Abanye badinga imithi ukuze babhekane nakho. Noma ngabe yini umlingani wakho ayidingayo, qiniseka ukuthi uhlome ngakho.

6. Zijwayeze ububele

Ungalokothi ukhohlwe ukuthi umlingani wakho ungaphezu kokukhathazeka kwakhe. “Qaphela zonke izinto ezinhle ngomlingani wakho futhi umtshele ngakho,” kweluleka uNeelam. Abantu abanokukhathazeka bavame ukwenza isimo sabo sibe umhlaba wonke futhi bakhohlwe ezinye izimfanelo zabo.

Bakhumbuze ukuthi bahlakaniphile, bahlekisa, abantu abahle kakhulu okungenzeka babe nesimo esithile. Batshele ukuthi banamandla, ukuthi i-lasagna yabo ingcono kakhulu emhlabeni, ukuthi bahle kakhulu emsebenzini wabo. Yizinto ezincane ezisiza kakhulu kunalokho obungakucabanga.

7. Beka imingcele

UHarper uthi: “Ngangithandana nothile owayenobuhlobo be-OCD. “Ngangifuna ukwenza izinto zisebenze, kodwa kwadingeka ngidwebe imigqa eqinile yokuthi ngingahamba ibanga elingakanani ngaphandle kokubeka engcupheni impilo yami yengqondo.”

Siyasithanda abanye imingcele yobudlelwano obunempilo, futhi kubaluleke kakhulu lapho uthandana nomuntu okhathazekile. Nabo, bazodinga indawo nesikhathi kude nawe ngezinye izikhathi ukuze bazithobe, bazinakekele, noma benze izinto abathanda ukuzenza.

Ukufuna usizo lochwepheshe kungenye yezindlela zokuqinisekisa ukuthi umlingani wakho uthola usizo aludingayo. Uma udinga ukufinyelela, iphaneli ye-Bonobology yabeluleki abanolwazi baseduze ngokuchofoza nje.

Ungamsekela Kanjani Umlingani Wakho Ngokukhathazeka – 6 Dos And Don't

Uma uthandana nomuntu okhathazekile, kunezindlela eziqondile zokumsekela futhi umazise ukuthi ukhona. Nakhu okwenziwa nokungamelwe ukwenze ukuze ubonise ukusekela.

1. Ungazami ukuzilungisa

Njengoba sishilo, isifo sokukhathazeka akusona isifo, kodwa isimo, futhi esingase sibe esingamahlalakhona. Kuthatha isikhathi, ukubekezela, kanye nokulawulwa ngokucophelela kwezimpawu, kodwa akulona ikhanda elizophela nephilisi, ngakho-ke udinga ukwenza lokhu ubudlelwano obaziyo lapho ubabona belingana.

Ungaboni umlingani wakho njengephrojekthi okufanele uyilungise. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uthandana nomuntu onokukhathazeka komphakathi noma uthandana nomuntu onokukhathazeka kanye ne-ADHD, kuyinto abaphila nayo okungcono noma okubi kakhulu, njengoba uzokwenza nawe. Kuzoba nezinsuku ezinhle futhi kuzoba nezinsuku ezimbi, futhi asikho isikhathi esinqunyiwe sokuthi 'bazolulama' nini.

2. Ungazami ukuchaza ukwesaba kwabo

Ukwesaba nama-phobias akuvamile ukuba kunengqondo, ngisho nakulabo bethu abangahlushwa ukukhathazeka. Kulabo ababhekana nokukhathazeka nsuku zonke, bangathatha izilinganiso ezesabekayo futhi babangele ukuba basabele ngokuqinile. Noma ngabe ukwesaba ukusondelana, noma ukwesaba ukuhlangana nabantu abasha, kuthathe ngokungathi sína.

Ungazami ukubachazela ukwesaba kwabo. Kungavela njengokululaza futhi kwenze umlingani wakho azizwe sengathi umkhulisa kanye nesimo sakhe. Futhi, khumbula ukuthi abantu abaningi abanokukhathazeka bayazi ukuthi ukwesaba kwabo akunangqondo ngokuphelele, kodwa lokho akukwenzi kube ngokoqobo noma okwesabekayo.

3. Thembeka futhi ubeke okulindelweyo

Nakuba kubalulekile ukuba mnene lapho uthandana nomuntu okhathazekile, akukho lutho olungalungile ngokumthwesa icala ngokuziphatha kwakhe. Qaphela, awubasoli ngesimo sabo, kodwa kulungile ukubabiza ngesineke uma benza ngendlela yokuzilimaza.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Okulindelwe Ebudlelwaneni: Indlela Elungile Yokuphatha

"Umlingani wami unokukhathazeka nokucindezeleka, futhi ngezinye izikhathi wayenqaba ukuya kumelaphi wakhe futhi eqe imithi yakhe. Kwangithatha isikhathi ukubona ukuthi ukwenza lokho ayekufuna kwakusilimaza sobabili. Kwadingeka ngimazise ukuthi ngilindele ukuthi abambelele esimisweni sakhe, angisize ngimsize. Yiqiniso, une-ejenti ephelele ezinqumweni zakhe zokunakekelwa kwezempilo, kodwa futhi uyavuma ukuthi uMason udinga ukukhumbula.

4. Qonda ukuthi injabulo ibonakala ihlukile kubantu abahlukene

Abantu abanokukhathazeka bangase bangabi nogqozi futhi bathathe isikhathi eside ukwenza imisebenzi ethile. Nokho, bazogubha izimpumelelo zabo ezincane kakhulu, ngoba ngezinye izinsuku, kuthatha okuningi kubo ngisho nokuvuka embhedeni. Ungabaphushi noma ubenze bazizwe sengathi bancane. Kunalokho, khuthaza zonke izinyathelo abazithathayo ukuze baphile ukuphila okusemandleni abo. Basize bajabule futhi bathole injabulo kulokho abakuzuzile, ngisho noma kuhlukile kweyakho. Lokhu kumele kube ngomunye wakho amagugu obudlelwano abalulekile.

5. Yenza bazizwe bephephile

Ukuphila ezweni lapho izinto eziningi zibangela ukwesaba nokwethuka okusheshayo kunzima futhi kuyakhathaza. Uma uthandana nomuntu okhathazekile, kubalulekile ukuthi umenze azizwe ephephile. Lokhu kufaka phakathi ukuhlonza nokusebenza ngokusebenzisa izibangeli zakho kanye nezingcindezi.

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Ukuba yisikhala sabo esiphephile akusho ukuthi uba umuntu wabo kuyo yonke into, futhi asikho isiqinisekiso sokuthi ukukhathazeka kwabo kuzokwehla ngomlingo uma benawe. Kodwa kwenze kuphephe kubo ukukhuluma ngemizwa yabo nokwesaba, futhi ubazise ukuthi ulapho lapho ukukhathazeka kubahlasela.

6. Iphile impilo yakho

Ungenzi ukukhathazeka kube umnyombo wobudlelwane bakho, noma impilo yakho. Abantu abanokukhathazeka bayasebenza, bayaphuma, bahambe, bajabule, futhi babe nezimpilo ezigcwele nezicebile. Njengozakwethu kumuntu onokukhathazeka, impilo yakho akumele futhi ichithelwe ukunyakazisa isimo sabo. Yiba nozwela, qaphela, kodwa ungavumeli izimpilo zakho zime. Ukukhathazeka kungakhubaza lapho kubambezeleka, kodwa futhi kuyenzeka uhlale nakho esikhundleni sokuhlala ngokusaba ngaso sonke isikhathi.

Ukuqomisana nomuntu okhathazekile kungenza i ubudlelwano obuqeda amandla, ngisho nalabo abake bayifunda ngaphambili futhi baqikelela ukuthi bayalalela abalingani babo bekhuluma ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwabo kokukhathazeka. Ukukhathazeka akusona isifo esiza kalula, futhi ngisho nalapho sitholakala, abantu bavame ukuba namahloni ukukudalula, noma bakuthathe ngokungathi sína. Kubalulekile ukungena ebudlelwaneni obunjalo ngamehlo akho avuleke futhi ukwethembeka okuphelele mayelana nesimo nokuthi uzosisingatha kanjani njengeqembu.

Ukukhathazeka ebuhlotsheni bothando kungabonakala ngazo zonke izindlela. Umlingani wakho, lapho ukukhathazeka kumshaya, angase acabange ukuthi uzomshiya, ukuthi uyamkhohlisa, noma ukuthi bonke ubuhlobo bungamanga. Udinga ukuzibuza ukuthi ngabe ukulungele yini futhi uzimisele ukubhekana nezinselele ezinjalo ngaphambi kokungena kulobu budlelwano.

Uma umlingani wakho kutholakala ukuthi unokukhathazeka lapho usuvele usothandweni, udinga ukwazi ukuthi ubudlelwano benu buzoshintsha, njengoba kuzoshintsha nomlingani wakho. Qaphela ukuthi ungaphenduki lokhu kube a ubudlelwano obuncikene. Umlingani wakho udinga ukwazi ukusho izidingo zakhe futhi kufanele nawe.
Kuthiwa uthando luyisenzo, futhi lokhu kuyiqiniso ikakhulukazi lapho uthandana nomuntu okhathazekile, lapho kudingeka khona isenzo sangempela nomzamo. Sithemba ukuthi wena nozakwenu nizokhula emandleni nothando.

Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa

Izinto Ezingu-20 Zokwenza Isoka Lakho Lizizwe Lijabule Futhi Lithandwa

Kwesinye isikhathi, Uthando Alwanele: Izizathu Eziyi-7 Zokuhlukanisa Izindlela Nomlingani Wakho Womphefumulo

I-Emotional Intelligence Ebudlelwaneni: Ukwenza Uthando Luhlale Phakade

Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.