Njira 8 Zokuthandizani Kuti Mumagwirizane ndi Mnzanuyo

Zingakhale zokhumudwitsa kwambiri kudziwa kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi amene mumamukonda kwambiri ndi wosakhulupirika kwa inu. Kudziwa kuti iwo ali okondana kwambiri ndi munthu wina ngakhale mutakhala nawo nthawi zonse, kungakhale kopweteka kwambiri. Okwatirana ena amafika ponena kuti kugonana kwachisembwere n’kolekerera kuposa kusakhulupirika m’maganizo. Kuphunzira momwe mungathanirane ndi nkhani zamalingaliro zomwe mnzanuyo angakhale akuchita kungakhale ulendo wovuta kuuyamba.

Komabe ndi yofunika kwambiri. Pokhapokha mutaphunzira kulimbana ndi kusakhulupirika kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu, simungadutse. Popanda kusuntha, simungathe kulamuliranso moyo wanu ndikusankha njira yomwe mukufuna kuwongolera.

Ndiye, mungatani ngati mwapeza chibwenzi cha mnzanu? Momwe mungathanirane ndi chibwenzi cha mnzanu modekha komanso mwaulemu? Kodi pali chiyembekezo cha ubale wanu ngati mnzanuyo ali ndi chikondi cha wina? Kodi mungapitirire kuchokera pa vuto ili? Ngati ndi choncho, bwanji? Tikuyankha mafunso awa ndi ena ambiri kuti tikuthandizeni kumvetsetsa zomwe mungachite ngati mnzanuyo akukunyengani, ndi chidziwitso kuchokera kwa mphunzitsi wa ubale ndi ubwenzi Shivanya Yogmayaa (wovomerezeka padziko lonse lapansi mu njira zochiritsira za EFT, NLP, CBT, REBT, ndi zina zotero), yemwe ndi katswiri wa njira zosiyanasiyana zoperekera uphungu kwa okwatirana.

Kodi Nkhani Yamtima Ndi Chiyani?

Musanayambe kuda nkhawa kuti mkazi kapena mwamuna wanu ali ndi chibwenzi, m'pofunika kumvetsetsa zomwe zikutanthauza. Kupatula apo, simukufuna kulola kukhulupirirana kuti kukulirakulira muubwenzi wanu chifukwa cha kukayikirana kopanda maziko kapena kupita kumaneneza mnzanuyo chifukwa chakusakhulupirika chifukwa ali pafupi ndi bwenzi lawo laubwana.

Chibwenzi chamaganizo chimatanthauza kukhazikitsa mgwirizano wamphamvu wamaganizo ndi ubale ndi munthu amene sali pachibwenzi. Nthawi zambiri, ubwenzi umenewu womwe anthu awiri amagawana ndi wofanana ndi chikondi. Mnzawo wonyenga amagawana zofooka zake ndi munthu wina ndipo amapita kwa iye kuti akapemphe uphungu. Ubale weniweni ukhoza kukhalapo pakati pawo kapena kusakhalapo, koma amamva malingaliro akuya omwe anali nawo kale kapena omwe amamvabe kwa mnzawoyo.

Kupanda chidwi m’banja, zifukwa zogwirira ntchito mochedwa, kubisa foni, kusakhala ndi maganizo kwina, kudzitchinjiriza ndi mkwiyo, kusamala kuvala tsiku lililonse, kuchita zinthu zimene sizikukhudza inu, kapena kukhala wabwino mopambanitsa kwa inu popanda chifukwa chenicheni ndi zizindikiro zina ndi zizindikiro zosonyeza kuti mnzanu wa muukwati ali pachibwenzi ndi munthu wina.

Ngakhale kupweteketsa mtima momwe mungapezereko, mutha kupeza mnzanu akuzichotsa ngati zopanda pake. Mkangano woti ngati nkhani zamalingaliro zimawoneka ngati kubera zitha kuyika cholakwachi pamalo otuwa. Zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kwambiri kusankha momwe mungachitire ndi nkhani zamalingaliro zomwe mnzanuyo angakhale akuchita mwachinyengo.

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Zitsanzo Ndi Zizindikiro Zakunyengerera Motengeka M'banja

Kuwona chikondi chanu ndi / kapena kukhulupirika kwanu kusuntha kuchoka kwa mnzanu kupita kwa munthu wina si chinthu chatsopano, motsimikiza. Komabe, ndi intaneti ndi malo ochezera a pa Intaneti, njira zopezeka mwaulele zoyankhulirana kunja kwa maubwenzi oyambilira zawonjezeka kwambiri. Choncho khalani ndi njira ndi njira zonyenga zamaganizo. Izi zapangitsa kuzindikira ndi kuthana ndi kubera kwamalingaliro kukhala kovutirapo.

Kodi mumatcha chiyani chomwe chimawoneka ngati nkhani yosamveka bwino yolumikizana ndi mphunzitsi wa zaumoyo pa intaneti amene mumakhazikitsa naye ubale wauzimu ? Kapena munthu amene wakhala akukutsatirani kwa nthawi yayitali pa akaunti yanu ya Instagram. Zimakhumudwitsa kwambiri mnzanu. Anthu ena amakwiya ngakhale pamene mnzanu nthawi zonse amalankhula ndi munthu wina m'banja mwawo, mwachitsanzo, amayi awo, kuti akauze nkhani yoipa kapena yabwino. Ndi iti mwa izi yomwe ndi kunyenga maganizo, ndipo ndi yotani?

Tiyeni tione chitsanzo chomveka bwino. Jose wakhala akumenyana ndi bwenzi lake, Sara, nthawi zambiri kuposa kale. Posachedwapa wayamba kulankhula ndi munthu yemwe amamutsatira pa Facebook. Nthawi zambiri ankakonda zolemba za wina ndi mzake pachiyambi, pang'onopang'ono kupita ku ndemanga pazithunzi za wina ndi mzake. 

Tsopano, amalankhulana kudzera ku ma DM komwe Jose amamuuza mnzakeyu za ndewu zake ndi Sara. Amachotsa zokambirana zawo atalankhula. Akamacheza naye kwambiri, amawayerekezeranso onse awiri m’mutu mwake. Amadzipezanso akumuwombera Sara pafupipafupi. Ngakhale kuti samangokhalira kukambitsirana zachikondi ndi bwenzi lake, zikuoneka kuti Sara anali wolondola kudandaula kuti, “Mwamuna wanga anali ndi chibwenzi ndipo sindingathe kuchithetsa.” 

Izi zitha kukhala zowona ngati jenda atasinthidwa ndipo Sara adati, "Mkazi wanga ali ndi chibwenzi ndipo kupitilira chinyengo kwakhala kokhumudwitsa." Musanadzifunse choti muchite pamene wokondedwa wanu akukunyengererani, zizindikiro zina zomwe zingathandize kuzindikira chinyengo chamaganizo ndi:

1. Kuyembekezera mopanda chilungamo kwa okondedwa wanu

Kukhala ndi ziyembekezo zosayembekezereka komanso zosayembekezereka kuchokera kwa mnzanu ndi chizindikiro chachinyengo cha maganizo. Mumasiya kuzindikira zofooka za mnzanuyo komanso umunthu wake zomwe munkadziwa nthawi zonse. Zimakhala zovuta kuti musiye zinthu zomwe simukuzikonda zokhudza iye. Mndandanda wa zinthu zotere ukukulirakulira.

Kuwonjezera pa zonsezi, palinso kufananitsa kosalekeza kosalekeza m'mutu mwanu pakati pawo ndi munthu amene mukumunyengerera naye. Kupitilira kunyenga kwamalingaliro kumakhala kovuta kwambiri chifukwa mnzake yemwe adaberedwa adapangidwa kudzimva kuti ndi wosakwanira. Ngati mukufuna kuthandiza mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu kuthana ndi vuto lamalingaliro, muyenera kukulitsa chidaliro chimenecho mwa iwo omwe mumawasilirabe ndikuwayamikira, momwe alili. 

2.Chinsinsi chikuchulukirachulukira muubwenzi wanu

Pali zinthu zambiri zomwe mumayamba kubisa. Mumadziwa mosazindikira kuti zomwe mukuchita sizoyenera. Mukudziwa kuti mnzanu sadzasangalala ngati atadziwa za ubale wanu. Choncho, onetsetsani kuti mwachotsa mauthenga amenewo, kapena musatchule za msonkhanowo. Muli pachibwenzi chachinsinsi ndi winawake, kaya ubalewo ungatanthauze chiyani kwa inu panthawiyo.

Ngati pali zinthu zambiri zomwe mukubisa, zitha kukhala chizindikiro chodziwikiratu kuti china chake chazimitsidwa. N'chimodzimodzinso ngati mwabereredwa mwachinyengo. Ngati pali zopinga zambiri pazomwe mnzanu akukuuzani, pali mwayi kuti akukunyengani. Izi zikachitika, palibe amene amasamala za kulengeza kwa chikondi, kapena ngati wina wakondana kapena ayi. Mfundo yakuti mnzanuyo akukusungirani chinachake kumakupangitsani kudzimva ngati wakunja. Ndipo zimenezi n’zopweteka moti n’kumadzimva ngati kuti mukukuberedwa. 

3. Kuganizira za munthu watsopano nthawi zonse

Mumaganizira za munthu watsopano m’moyo wanu nthawi zonse. Zimayamba kuchokera kwa inu kufuna kuyang'ana pa iwo maola angapo aliwonse. Koma posachedwapa, mumawaganizira pazovuta zilizonse za tsikulo, kuyerekezera mmene moyo wanu ukanakhalira nawo. Ngati mwavala ndipo mukuona kuti mnzanuyo sakuyamikiridwa mokwanira, mungaganize momwe munthu watsopanoyu akanakuyamikirirani. 

Ili ndi vuto lachikale ndipo ziribe kanthu momwe mnzanuyo amayesera kuthana ndi zochitika m'banja mwakukhala bwino, kapena 'kuposa' chidwi chanu chatsopano, zochitika zongopeka m'mutu mwanu zidzapambana nthawi zonse. Munthu watsopano uyu amawala kwambiri kuposa mnzanu. Ichi ndi chifukwa chake pamene bwenzi ndi maganizo kubera pa inu, palibe zoyesayesa kupambana iwo kubwerera ntchito.

4. Kudzimva kuti uli kutali ndi okondedwa wako

Mwachibadwa, zonsezi zomwe zili pamwambapa zimakupangitsani kukhala osagwirizana pang'onopang'ono muukwati wanu ndi mnzanu. Chinsinsi ndi kufananiza kosayenera kumabweretsa kusamvana komanso kusiyana kwakukulu. Ndipo kuganizira za munthu wina nthawi zonse kumakukwezani ku moyo wanu wamakono ndikukuikani mu moyo wamaloto. Mnzanu amakuyang'anani ndipo amadziwa kuti ngakhale muli komweko, simuli komweko kwenikweni.

Kuyankhulana kosalekeza m'mutu mwanu kuti "zikanakhala bwanji" ndi "zikanakhala chiyani" sizikutayika kwa wokondedwa wanu. Wokondedwa wanu amakakamizika kukhulupirira kuti "Mkazi wanga ali ndi chibwenzi, ndikutsimikiza" kapena "Mwamuna wanga anali ndi chibwenzi ndipo sindingathe kuthetsa, mwina ndithetse ukwati wathu". Choncho, chochita pamene mnzanuyo maganizo kubera pa inu? Kuti mudziwe, werengani zambiri. 

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Zoyenera Kuchita Ngati Wokondedwa Wanu Akukunyengererani? Njira 8 Zokuthandizani Kupirira

Zingawoneke ngati kutha kwa dziko mutazindikira kusakhulupirika kwa mnzanuyo. Kuthana ndi kubera kwamalingaliro kumakhala kovuta kwambiri mukaganizira za kuthekera komwe kungawononge ukwati wanu. Sizingakhale choncho koma chiopsezo ndi chenicheni.

Kulimbana ndi nkhani zamaganizo ndi kulankhula kosayenera komwe mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu angakhale akumacheza ndi winawake n’kovuta. Zingabwere ngati nkhonya yowononga kudzidalira kwanu ndikusiyani mukudzikayikira nokha za luso lanu monga mnzanu. “Mwamuna wanga ali ndi chibwenzi chokhudza mtima kwambiri, akuganiza kuti sindikudziŵa. -Maganizo ngati amenewa amabwera m'maganizo mwanu.

Pa nthawi ngati zimenezi, n’kofunika kudzikumbutsa kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu ndi wachikulire ndipo simuli ndi udindo pa zochita zawozo. Kugonjera ku kukayika za kuthekera kwanu monga bwenzi la moyo si njira yolondola yothanirana ndi kusakhulupirika kwamalingaliro. Ndiye, ndi chiyani?

Chochita ngati mnzanu akukunyengani mwachikondi? Mutha kuchita zinthu zingapo kuti muthane ndi chibwenzi cha mnzanu ndikubwezeretsanso chikondi chanu chamaganizo , zomwe zimapangitsa kuti chikhale chosavuta kwambiri kotero kuti palibe malo oti munthu wachitatu alowe. Njira yoyenera yochitira zinthu imadalira momwe zinthu zilili - mtundu wa ubale wanu ndi mnzanu, mtundu wa chibwenzi chamalingaliro, ndi zina zotero. Ngakhale zili choncho, nazi njira 8 zazikulu zomwe mungatsatire kuti muthane ndi chibwenzi cha mnzanu:

1. Onani zowona

Musanaganize za mavuto a mikangano, mikangano ndi kusowa tulo usiku, onetsetsani kuti mnzanu wakhala akuchita chibwenzi chamaganizo. Kusiyana pakati pa chinyengo chamaganizo ndi ubwenzi kungakhale kosamveka bwino. Mwina mukuona ubwenzi weniweni ngati chibwenzi. Kapena mwina mnzanuyo akuchita chinyengo chamaganizo osadziwa.

Kuti muthane ndi zovuta zamalingaliro komanso kuyankhula kosayenera, choyamba muyenera kudzifunsa mafunso monga: Chifukwa chiyani wokondedwa wanu akukunyengani? Kodi amaika ndalama zochepa m'banja lanu? Kodi 'mukuika ndalama zokwanira muukwati wanu? Kodi mwaonapo kusintha koonekeratu kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu?

Ma intuition amatha kukhala amphamvu, koma nthawi zonse sakhala olondola. Muyenera kukhala ndi zidziwitso zotsimikizika kuti muteteze ma intuitions anu. Ganizirani za mmene mukumvera musanalankhule ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu. Onani ngati mukuchita zinthu mopanda nzeru, wansanje mopambanitsa, kapena muli nazo kwambiri.

Komanso, fufuzani ngati mwakhala mukukangana kwambiri posachedwapa komanso ngati ndi mkwiyo kapena chakukhosi chimene chikukupangitsani kukayikira mnzanuyo. Izi zikawunikiridwa, mutha kupita patsogolo ndikukambirana modekha ndi okondedwa wanu za momwe akumvera. Mwachidule, musapite pansi pa dzenje la kalulu la "Mwamuna wanga anali ndi chibwenzi ndipo sindingathe kuthetsa" pokhapokha mutatsimikiza za zomwe zikuchitika.

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2. Kulinganiza mkwiyo ndi kufuna mayankho

Kusakhulupirika, kaya kutengeka maganizo kapena kugonana, kungawononge thanzi ndi ukwati wa munthu. Tikumvetsetsa kuti mukupweteka ndipo simungathe kuugwira mtima. Pakadali pano, simungafune chilichonse kupatula kuwululidwa kwathunthu kuchokera kwa mnzanu. Ngati mukukayikira kapena mukudziwa motsimikiza kuti mnzanuyo akunyenga maganizo, mungafune kudziwa zonse zomwe achita kumbuyo kwanu.

Ngati mukufunadi kuphunzira tsatanetsatane wonse, muyenera kukhala chete ndikuchita zonse mofatsa momwe mungathere. "Kuti muthane ndi kusakhulupirika kwa malingaliro, ndikwachibadwa kufuna mayankho a mafunso ambirimbiri omwe angakusokonezeni maganizo. Koma mukafunsa mnzanu wonyenga mafunso awa , onetsetsani kuti mwakonzeka kuthana ndi mayankhowo. Khalani womvera wachifundo m'malo mothamangira kuweruza kapena kutsimikiza," akulangiza katswiri wathu, Shivanya.

Wokondedwa wanu adzakhala wokonzeka kuyankha ndi kuthetsa mavuto anu onse ngati mumamvetsera mwatcheru komanso mwachifundo pang'ono. Mukakalipira, mnzanuyo angaganize kuti simukufuna kumvetsera ndikubisala za kusakhulupirika kwawo kwa inu. Izi zidzalepheretsa mwayi wopulumuka vutoli.

3. Osadziimba mlandu

Kuthana ndi kusakhulupirika m'banja sikophweka. Maganizo anu amatha kukhala paliponse, malingaliro anu amakhala opanda pake. Sizachilendo kudzimva kuti ndinu wolakwa chifukwa cha chibwenzi cha mnzanu . Monga wovutika, mungadziimbe mlandu nokha chifukwa cholakwitsa. Mungakayikire zochita zanu ndi khalidwe lanu. Mungaganize kuti ndinu wosasamala, kapena simunasamale mokwanira, kapena simunapereke malo otetezeka omwe mnzanuyo amafuna. Tulutsani malingaliro onsewa ndikuwataya.

Ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu anali ndi chibwenzi, ndiye kuti sizikutanthauza kuti ndinu mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu.

Mfundo yaikulu ndi yakuti palibe chifukwa chabwino chochitira chinyengo munthu, kaya mwakuthupi kapena mwamaganizo. Mutha kuchitapo kanthu pazofooka zanu muukwati, koma osachita nawo masewera olakwa. Musalole mnzanuyo kuchoka ndi kunyenga maganizo polengeza inu chifukwa chake ndipo musadziimbe mlandu chifukwa cha zochita zolakwika za mnzanuyo.

Kudziimba mlandu kumangothandiza mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu kuchita bwino popewa zolakwa zawo. Palibe cholakwa pano. Kusakhulupirika kwa mnzako ndi udindo wawo. Kuzindikira izi ndi gawo lofunika kwambiri pothana ndi vuto lawo lamalingaliro.

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4. Lankhulani ndi dokotala

Zoyenera kuchita ngati mnzanu akukunyengererani? Lolani kuti mumve zonse zosasangalatsa, zosasunthika zomwe zimabwera chifukwa cha mkazi kapena mwamuna wanu kukhala ndi chibwenzi. Kuwongolera ndi kuyankha kofala pozindikira kuti mnzanu akubera, makamaka ngati simunadziwe.

Mungafune kubwereranso ku chikwa chanu, mukumalingalira mopambanitsa za tsogolo la ukwati wanu. Mutha kudzifunsa nokha ndi chilichonse chakuzungulirani, koma simungakhale okonzeka kugawana ndi wina aliyense pakuwopa chiweruzo. Si zachilendo kulephera kukambirana nkhaniyo ndi wokondedwa wanu, koma mumafunika thandizo kuti muthetse vutolo. Pewani kudikira mwakachetechete, poyembekezera kuti zinthu zidzasintha n’kukhala bwino.

M'malo mwake, funani thandizo kwa katswiri wothandiza m'malo mongoganizira za vutoli ndi zotsatira zake. Ngati mukufuna, gulu la alangizi odziwa bwino ntchito a Bonobology lili pano kuti likuthandizeni. Kulankhula ndi munthu mmodzi kudzathetsa kukayikira kwanu konse ndikukupatsani njira yoyenera pamene mukulimbana ndi malingaliro ambiri monga mantha, kudzimva kuti ndinu wolakwa, chisoni, kukayikira, mkwiyo, ndi zina zotero, zonse nthawi imodzi. Dokotala wodziwa bwino za kusakhulupirika m'banja angakuthandizeni kudutsa gawo lovuta mwachangu.

5. Bwererani kwakanthawi

Ndizovuta m'maganizo kufuula, kulira, kutaya zinthu, ndi kudzudzula mnzanuyo chifukwa chowononga chirichonse monga njira yothanirana ndi zochitika zamaganizo ndi zosayenera. Koma mwayi wabwino wopulumutsira ukwati wanu ndi kungosiya. Izi zimapatsa mnzanuyo nthawi yoti athetse mutu wake ndi kuganizira mozama za zomwe achita. Yesetsani kukhalabe odekha ndikuchita chidaliro. Kupatsa wokondedwa wanu malo opumira kumawapatsa mwayi woti athetse vuto lawo. 

Shivanya akuti, "Lolani wokondedwa wanu athane ndi chigumula cha malingaliro malingaliro awo ayenera kudzazidwa nawo pambuyo poti chibwenzicho chikuwonekera. Kumbukirani, chirichonse sichikukhudza inu. Choncho, pamene mwamuna wanu ali ndi chibwenzi chokhudza maganizo kapena mkazi wanu amakunyengererani maganizo, musadzitengere nokha. Pali mwayi wabwino kuti kusakhulupirika kulibe kanthu kochita ndi inu kapena ubale wanu koma kumachokera ku zowawa zina zomwe zachitika kale. "

Kubwerera m'mbuyo ndi sitepe yofunikira kuti muthane ndi vuto lamalingaliro. Imafulumira kuchira. Kukhala wosowa kapena kukakamira kumatsimikizira mantha a mnzanu pa ubale wanu. Kuti muchepetse kusakhulupirika kwawo, muyenera kuwapatsa nthawi yosinkhasinkha za khalidwe lawo kuti azindikire zochita zawo ndi zotsatira zake pa ubale wanu.

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6. Osapempha kapena kuchonderera

Muli pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu ndipo simukufuna kuti akusiyeni. Kuti mupewe zimenezo, ndinu okonzeka kuchita chilichonse chomwe mungathe. Musachite zimenezo. Kupulumuka chibwenzi kumafuna kuti musankhe mosamala njira zabwino zochitira chibwenzi m'malo mwa njira zosayenera kapena zosagwira ntchito.

Mungakhale mukufunitsitsa kupeza mayankho a mmene mungachitire ndi nkhani zamaganizo zimene mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu akuchita. Koma kutaya tulo chifukwa chakuti “Mwamuna wanga ali ndi chibwenzi chokhudza mtima, kodi ndingatani kuti andisankhe ine pa munthu winayo?” kapena “Mkazi wanga anali ndi chibwenzi chokhudzika mtima, ndingatsimikizire bwanji kuti wapambana mkazi winayo?” sikukuchitirani ubwino uliwonse.

Ziribe kanthu momwe mungafunire kuti banja lanu likhalebe ndi moyo, osagwada pansi ndikupempha mnzanuyo kuti akhalebe. Ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu watha ndi ubale wanu, palibe chimene mungachite kuti musinthe chisankho chawo. Mwinanso, ngati mnzanuyo ali ndi mlandu pazochitika zawo, adzachitapo kanthu kuti akonze zinthu.

Pano, muyenera kuthana ndi nkhaniyi mwaulemu. Nthawi zonse kumbukirani, palibe chomwe chimaposa ulemu wanu. Kugwirana manja, kulira, kuchonderera mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu kuti mukhalebe sikungawapangitse kukhala, koma kumakayikira ulemu wanu. Fotokozani zakukhosi kwanu, koma musamapemphe wokondedwa wanu kuti akhalebe.

7. Pangani chosankha

Choyipa kwambiri chachitika. Mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu anali ndi chibwenzi chamaganizo, ndipo palibe chomwe mungachite kuti musinthe zimenezo. Komabe, chomwe muyenera kuchita ndikupanga chisankho. Ngati mukuganiza kuti ubale wanu ukhoza kuchira ku kuwonongeka, ganizirani ngati ubalewo ndi woyenera kusungidwa ndipo muupatsenso mwayi wina. Sikuyenera kukhala mapeto a ukwati wanu.

Yesani ndikuwona momwe mnzanuyo akuyankhira. Ngati mnzanuyo akunyenga maganizo ndipo akuwoneka kuti ali ndi mlandu pa izo, mwayi ndi wakuti akufunadi kukonza zinthu kachiwiri. Kumbali ina, ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu akukuimbani mlandu chifukwa cha kusakhulupirika kwawo ndipo sakuganiza kuti sanachite cholakwika chilichonse, mwina ndi nthawi yoti musiye. Komabe, patulani nthawi yanu kuti mupange chisankho. Osathamangira chilichonse.

Shivanya anati: “Moyo ndi mmene umauonera, choncho fufuzani maganizo atsopano pa nkhaniyo komanso/kapena mnzanu.” Kumakhala kosavuta kulimbana ndi kusakhulupirika m’maganizo ngati mukuuona mochokera pansi pa mtima wachifundo ndi kuyesa kumvetsa chifukwa chimene mnzanuyo angakhale atachitira zimene anachita,” akutero Shivanya.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Njira 8 Zokhululukira Munthu Wonse Amene Anakupusitsani

8. Tengani nthawi yanu kuti mukhululukire

Amati, “Khululukirani ndipo iwalani.” Koma zimenezo si zophweka. Inu nokha ndiye mukudziwa momwe chibwenzi cha mnzanu chakhudzirani. Tengani nthawi yanu kulimbana ndi vutolo kenako yambani kumanganso chidaliro. Kusakhulupirika kulikonse n’kovuta kuiwala. Mukakonzeka kusiya zoletsa zonse ndi malingaliro oipa omwe ali mkati mwanu, pamenepo ndi pomwe mungayambe kukhululukira mnzanuyo ndikukhala ndi ubale wabwino.

Perekani mwayi kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu kuti akhale woona mtima ndi inu. Aloleni amvetse zowawa zomwe zakukhumudwitsani ndipo aloleni kuti akufotokozereni chifukwa chake. Tengani malo akuthupi ndi okhudzidwa kuchokera kwa wokondedwa wanu, kwa masiku, masabata, kapena miyezi ngati mukufuna. Gwirizanani ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu pang’onopang’ono pamene zokumbukira zoipa zimazimiririka m’kupita kwa nthaŵi, ndipo mukuona kuti ndinu wokonzeka kuzikhulupiriranso.

Ngati muwona mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu akulimbana ndi vutoli, muwapatsenso mwayi wina. Muyenera kuthana ndi malingaliro anu mutazindikira kuti mnzanuyo akukukondani. Komabe, ngati mukuona kuti palibe njira imene mungachirire ululuwo ndipo ndi bwino kungopitirizabe ndi moyo wanu, zili bwinonso. Muyenera kukhala osangalala ndipo muyenera kumvetsetsa ndikuvomereza zomwe zidzakupangitseni kukhala osangalala pakapita nthawi.

Zoti Simuyenera Kuchita Ngati Wokondedwa Wanu Akuchita Chinyengo?

Tsopano mukudziwa momwe mungathanirane ndi nkhani zamaganizo zomwe mnzanuyo angakhalemo. Mukakhala ndi zowawa, mkwiyo, zowawa, komanso kusakhulupirika mukazindikira kuti mnzanuyo akubera, ndizotheka kuti mutha kuchita zinthu zomwe zingapangitse kuti zinthu ziipireipire.

Kupsa mtima, kutchula mayina, kunena zinthu zopweteka kungawoneke ngati zida zamphamvu zowongolera ndikupangitsa mnzanuyo kuvutika ndi mkwiyo womwe mukuchita nawo. Komabe, izi sizithandiza aliyense. Sizingapangitse kuti njira yothana ndi kusakhulupirika m'banja ikhale yosavuta kwa inu. Komanso sizingathandize mnzanuyo kuona zolakwika za njira zawo. Chifukwa chake, mukamakumana ndi kubera muubwenzi wanu, sungani malingaliro awa:

• Fufuzani kubwezera: Kungoti mnzako wapusitsa chidaliro chanu, sizitanthauza kuti palibe vuto kuti inunso muchite zomwezo. Pewani chiyeso chokhala ndi chibwenzi kuti mubwezere mnzanuyo
• Sewerani masewera olakwa: N’zoona kuti chibwenzicho ndi cholakwa cha mnzanuyo koma musamachitepo kanthu kuti mukambirane nthawi iliyonse yomwe mungapeze, makamaka ngati mukufuna kupatsanso chibwenzi mwayi wina. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zoyipa kwambiri zolakwa zoyanjanitsa zomwe maanja angapange polimbana ndi kusakhulupirika m’banja
• Zovala zauve pagulu: Pamene mukulimbana ndi nkhani zamaganizo ndi nkhani zosayenera zomwe mnzanuyo angakhale akuchita, n'kwachibadwa kufuna phewa lotsamirapo. Mulimonsemo, khalani ndi njira yothandizira kuti mudutse nthawi yovutayi koma izi sizikutanthauza kutulutsa mawu kwa aliyense amene amasamala kubwereketsa khutu lachifundo.
• Kokerani ana mmenemo: Pamene mukuganizirabe mmene mungathanirane ndi nkhani za m’maganizo zimene mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wakhala nazo, musakokere anawo m’mavuto. Osagawana nawo zambiri za cholakwa cha makolo awo. Mutha kuwawononga ndikusokoneza ubale wawo ndi okondedwa wanu. Ngati musankha kukhalira limodzi monga banja, kuchira kungakhale kovuta kwa iwo
• Kukana malingaliro anu: Mutha kumva zambiri zamalingaliro, kuchokera ku mkwiyo mpaka kuwawa, kudziimba mlandu, manyazi, ndi manyazi mukazindikira kuti mnzanu akubera. Lolani kuti mumve kuchuluka kwa malingaliro awa. Kuwotcha kapena kuwachotsa kumangowonjezera mphamvu zawo

Muyenera kupewa kutengeka ndi chibwenzicho. Muyeneranso kusiya kudera nkhawa zimene anthu anganene. Zikayamba kukusokonezani mtendere wamumtima, simungapeze chimwemwe mu chilichonse chimene mukuchita. Pangani chisankho choyenera ndikumamatira ndipo tikulonjeza, mudzakhala munthu wosangalala pakapita nthawi.

Ibibazo

Zizindikiro za 7 Zokhudza Mtima Zomwe Muli nazo (Osazindikira Ngakhale)

Mmene Kunena Zopweteka Paubwenzi Zimakhudzira

9 Zizindikiro Zomwe Amanong'oneza Bondo Pokuvulazani

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.