Kodi inunso mukuvutitsidwa ndi momwe wokondedwa wanu amakubisirani foni masiku ano? Mukuwakayikira kuti akukunyengani? Kapena asiya chidwi chogonana ndipo mumawaganizira kuti ali ndi chibwenzi? Malinga ndi ziwerengero, 40% ya maubwenzi osakwatirana ndi 25% ya mabanja amawona chochitika chimodzi cha kusakhulupirika. Choncho, kusakhulupirika ndikofala kuposa momwe mukuganizira. Anthu ambiri amene amabera okondedwa awo amakhala ndi liwongo pa zochita zawo, ndipo ngati inu tcheru, mukhoza kupeza chinyengo zizindikiro zolakwa ngati wina amavomereza zolakwa zawo kapena ayi.
Anthu achinyengo amamvetsa kuti achita zosakhulupirika kwa wokondedwa wawo ndipo awawawa kwambiri. Liwongo limene amakhala nalo kaŵirikaŵiri limasonyeza m’zochita zawo, kaya mwaufulu kapena mosadzifunira. Komabe, ngati simukukayika kuti mnzanuyo akubera kapena kumukhulupirira mwachimbulimbuli mpaka kuganiza kuti angakunyengeni, kuwona zizindikiro zachinyengo kungakhale kovuta.
Ndiye mumadziwa bwanji ngati wina ali ndi mlandu wokunyengererani? Psychotherapist Dr. Aman Bhonsle (Ph.D., PGDTA), yemwe ndi katswiri wodziwa upangiri paubwenzi komanso Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, amatithandiza kudziwa zizindikiro zosonyeza kuti munthu walakwa. Choncho, werengani kuti mudziwe zambiri zokhudza kulakwa kwa anthu achinyengo komanso mmene mungathanirane nawo.
Kodi Olakwa Ndi Chiyani?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Anthu ambiri angakuuzeni kuti kubera n’kulakwa, ndipo zimenezi n’zoona. Nthawi zina anthu amabera pazifukwa zomwe sakuzidziwa. Kubera kungakhale chifukwa cha kunyong’onyeka, kukhumudwa, kapenanso kuyanjana. Anthu ena akhoza kuyamba kuchita zachiwerewere, pamene ena anganene kuti okondedwa awo ndi amene amawapangitsa kukhala achiwembu.
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Koma chosangalatsa n’chakuti anthu ambiri amadziimba mlandu akachita chinyengo. Mfundo yakuti anasochera imachititsa kuti anthu achinyengo azidziona kuti ndi olakwa. Kudziimba mlandu kwa achiwembu amenewa kungaonekerenso kunja m’makhalidwe awo, zochita zawo, ndi matupi awo. Kulakwa kumeneku kumagwira pamene munthu wolakwayo akumva chisoni kwambiri ndi zochita zake ndipo akulimbana ndi choti achite.
Ngakhale anthu angagwiritse ntchito zambiri zifukwa zachinyengo kuti adzilungamitsira zochita zawo, achiwembu nthawi zambiri amadziwa kuti adutsa malire omwe sayenera kuchita. Ndiye, kodi onyenga amalimbana ndi kulakwa kwa anthu achinyengo? Inde, nthawi zambiri amatero.
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Mmodzi wa owerenga athu, Adrien, anatilembera za zomwe zinamuchitikira: "Ndinagwirizana ndi wakale wanga pambuyo pa ndewu yaikulu ndi chibwenzi changa. Anandikwiyira ndipo ndinamuwona 'ngati' zolemba zingapo za mwamuna wina yemwe akudziwa kuti ndine wosatetezeka. Ndikukumana nazo kulakwa kwa onyenga. Chonde thandizani. Kodi nditani?"
M’nkhani ya Adrien, zizindikiro za kudziimba mlandu pambuyo pa chinyengo zinali monga kuda nkhaŵa, kudzida ndi kudzimvera chisoni. Komabe, chinyengo chodziimba mlandu sichimawonekera nthawi zonse ndi malingaliro omwewo mwa aliyense. Zimenezi zingakuchititseni kudzifunsa kuti, “Kodi mumadziwa bwanji munthu akalakwa pa nkhani ya chinyengo?
Kulankhula za mbendera zofiira za ubale, Dr. Bhonsle “Kunama m’chibwenzi ndi chizindikiro chakuti mwamuna wachinyengo kapena wobera mkazi ali ndi mlandu.” Kodi akufuna kuthawa chiyani?
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Zizindikiro 15 Zowona Zowona Zolakwa Zomwe Simungaphonye
Ngati munayamba mwadzifunsa nokha, "Kodi mumadziwa bwanji ngati mnzanu akunyenga?", Mwayi, mwazindikira kale chinachake chokhudza mnzanuyo. Kupeza ngati muli ndi chinyengo bwenzi sikovuta kwenikweni masiku ano, ndi angapo mapulogalamu omwe alipo kuti agwire ochita chinyengo.
M'malo mwake, malingaliro anu a m'matumbo amatha chifukwa cha zizindikiro zazing'ono za onyenga a mnzanuyo kuti chikumbumtima chanu chatenga. Kukuthandizani kudziwa ngati wokondedwa wanu akubera kapena ayi, nazi zizindikiro 15 zachinyengo zomwe muyenera kusamala nazo:
1. Amaonetsa kulakwa kwawo pa inu
Mumadziwa bwanji ngati wina ali ndi mlandu wobera? Chabwino, ngati mnzanuyo atembenuka ndikukutsutsani kuti mukubera mukamamufunsa ngati akhala akukunyengani, akuwonetsani mlandu wanu. Kukonzekera ndi njira yodzitetezera komanso yaikulu mbendera yofiira.
Dr. Bhonsle anati: “Kuti atsimikizire kuti sakumana ndi nkhani zovuta, angayesetse kusintha maganizo ndi kuyamba ndewu ndi mnzawoyo.” Kumbukirani kuti musawalole kuti ayende pa inu, ndipo onetsetsani kuti mukunena nkhawa zanu, ngati pali chinachake chikukuvutitsani. Kuyesera kusesa pansi pa chiguduli - monga momwe mnzanu akufunira - sikungakuchitireni zabwino. Mukawona zizindikiro za kulakwa mwa mkazi kapena mwamuna, muyitane.
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2. Amadzitchinjiriza pakusintha kwa kakulidwe kawo
M'modzi mwa zizindikiro zapamwamba zachinyengo pakhoza kukhala kusintha kwadzidzidzi kwa machitidwe odzikongoletsa. Yang'anani zizindikiro zotere za chikumbumtima cholakwa muubwenzi:
- Kodi mkazi wanu wayamba kudzola zodzoladzola kwambiri mwadzidzidzi?
- Kodi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wasintha mafuta onunkhira awo mwadzidzidzi?
- Kodi mwamuna wanu amavala pambuyo pometa nthawi iliyonse akatuluka?
Munthu wachinyengo amaganizira kwambiri za maonekedwe ake ndipo amasamala kwambiri za kudzikongoletsa kwake. Koma mukawafunsa za kavalidwe katsopano kameneka, akhoza kudziteteza. Ndipo pamene achiwembu alakwa, akhoza kukhala m'mene mukufunira.
3. Iwo apitirira/osadzipereka pabedi mwadzidzidzi
Ndiye, kodi nthawi zonse amafuna kuti mukhale mmishonale ndipo mwadzidzidzi amafuna kukhala pamwamba? Ndipo muli ndi a m'matumbo kumva kuti akubera? Ichi chikhoza kukhala chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zomwe adanyenga ndikudzimva kuti ndi wolakwa kapena wasokera ndikudzimvera chisoni. Wokondedwa wanu angakhale akuyesera malo atsopano ndi wina, kapena akhoza kungobisa zolakwa zawo pokusangalatsani.
Ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu akuvutika ndi mlandu wobera, angayese kubweza ndalama mopambanitsa ali pabedi kuti athetse chikumbumtima chawo cholakwa. Komabe, kumbukirani, kuyesa kusuntha kwatsopano pabedi sikuyenera kukhala chizindikiro cha olakwa.
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Dr. Bhonsle akufotokoza kuti: “Kusintha pakama sikungathe, mwatsoka, kuchitiridwa mwachisawawa.
4. Amangokhalira kusinthasintha maganizo
Kodi maganizo a mnzanuyo ndi olakwika? Mphindi imodzi, akukondwerera nanu, ndipo yotsatira, amakwiyitsidwa ndi zomwe simukuzidziwa (ndipo amakana kulankhula za izo, zivute zitani). Chabwino, umu ndi momwe mnyamata amachitira atabera (kapena mtsikana, pankhaniyi).
Chifukwa chake chingakhale kuvutika maganizo kwa kugwirizanitsa maubwenzi aŵiri ndi kukhala ndi moyo wachiphamaso. Kulimbana ndi zonse ziwiri kumatha kukhala kolemetsa ndipo, mukakhala ndi inu, mnzanu wobera sangachitire mwina koma kumva chisoni ndi zomwe akhala akukuchitirani.
Kudziimba mlandu kumeneku kungapangitse anthu achinyengo kukhala okwiya komanso okwiya. Ndiye, kodi olakwa amakhudza bwanji a kunyenga chibwenzi kapena bwenzi? Nthaŵi zambiri, amavutika m’mitu yawoyawo, akumalingalira zosemphana ndi zimene ayenera kuchita.
5. Amakugulirani mphatso popanda chifukwa
Chimodzi mwazochita zolakwa pakubera ndikubweza mopambanitsa. Ngati mwasambitsidwa ndi mphatso (ndiponso, zodula!) mlungu uliwonse ndipo ngakhale palibe nthawi yeniyeni, ikhoza kukhala mphatso ya onyenga 'yokutidwa makamaka kwa inu. Pakhoza kukhala zifukwa zingapo zochitira izi:
- Mlandu wa kukuperekani inu mwina mukuvutitsa mnzanu
- Akhoza kutengeka ndi mantha ogwidwa ndipo angafune kukuchotsani ku zizindikiro zachinyengo zomwe angasonyeze.
- Amaopa zotsatirapo za chinyengo chawo pa ubale wanu
- Kuthekera kodzimva kuti mumakondedwa ndi kusamaliridwa kungachotse kwakanthawi mfundo yakuti mukuberedwa. Izi zimapatsanso munthu wachinyengo nthawi yokwanira yoganizira zomwe akuchita
6. Sadzanena kuti “ndimakukonda”
Kumbukirani pamene wanu mnyamatayo anati "ndimakukondani" pa text tsiku lililonse? Kapena pamene mtsikana wanu nthawi zonse ankanena kuti “Ndimakukondani” chinthu choyamba m’mawa? Ngati mawuwa apita AWOL, akhoza kukhala mbendera yofiira. Akhozanso kupeŵa kubwezera chifukwa chakuti samamva chilungamo pa mawu olankhulidwa kapena chifukwa cha kutopa kwamalingaliro kwa kulinganiza maubwenzi aŵiri. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zodziwika kwambiri zachinyengo zachinyengo.
M'malo mwake, mutha kuwapeza akuwonetsa zizindikiro zamaganizidwe ndi thupi:
- Chibwibwi ndi chibwibwi
- Osati kuyang'ana m'maso mwanu
- Kukhala wozizira kwambiri kwa inu
- Kuyesera kuyambitsa ndewu ndi inu
Ngakhale zili choncho, iwo sanganene mwachindunji kuti, “Ndinabera ndi kudzimva woipitsitsa.” Komabe, zizindikirozo ndi zoonekeratu kwambiri kuti musanyalanyaze.
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7. Amadzitchinjiriza pamalingaliro osamvetseka
Kodi mwawona kuti mnzanuyo akudzitchinjiriza kwambiri pazolinga zawo zadzidzidzi kapena zachilendo? Mwachitsanzo, ngati mkazi wanu atuluka usiku kuti “amalize kulankhula” ndi “anzake” kaŵirikaŵiri, zikhoza kukhala chizindikiro chakuti ali pachibwenzi. ali ndi wina m'moyo wake. Ndiyeno, ngati mungafufuze za komwe ali, akhoza kukwiya ndi kukhumudwa, zomwe zingayambitse mikangano ndi mikangano yatsopano. Kenako atha kupereka zifukwa zingapo zovomerezera zolinga zake zosamveka. Chabwino, uyu akhoza kukhala m'modzi mwa omwe adabera ndikudzimva wolakwa.
A Reddit wosuta akusimba chokumana nacho chawo, kuti: “Potsirizira pake, anthu ambiri amakhala okhoza kutsimikizira khalidwe lawo ndi kupereka zifukwa zodzikhululukira kaamba ka kulephera kusunga zimene analonjeza.
8. Nkhani zawo zimasintha
Munthu kuvutika ndi chigololo sindingathe kukupatsani yankho lomwelo za komwe ali nthawi iliyonse mukawafunsa. Chifukwa chake chingakhale chakuti iwo angoyiwala za mtundu wina wa zochitika ndipo amatha kupanga mitundu yatsopano nthawi zonse. Kotero, "Ndinali kwa Yakobo" akhoza kukhala "Ndinali ndi Nash, ndikuyesera kugwira ntchito". Kupatula apo, ndi chinthu chimodzi kubera koma kusewera mpira kosiyana kotheratu kutsata mabodza onse.
Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zazikulu za kulakwa pambuyo pa kunyenga maubwenzi mpaka mabodza amenewa. Mukangonena kuti akunama, atha kudzitchinjiriza mwamphamvu ngati kuyesa komaliza kupulumutsa nkhani yawo. Angakhale akudzimva kukhala olakwa, koma adzafunabe kubisa chinsinsi chawo.
9. Mwina adauza anzanu wamba za nkhaniyi
Anzanu wamba nthawi zambiri amakonda kupeza mphepo ya chinyengo mnzanuyo nthawi yaitali musanachite. Ngati abwenzi a mnzanu mwadzidzidzi amayamba kuchita zinthu zosasangalatsa pafupi nanu kapena kuyesa kukupewani, zikhoza kukhala chizindikiro kuti akudziwa kusakhulupirika kwa mnzanuyo.
Ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za chikumbumtima cholakwa muubwenzi pamene mnzanuyo wasankha kuuza anzake za chinyengo njira zawo asanakuululireni za izo. Izi zikuwonetsanso momwe kusakhulupirika ndi kulakwa zimayendera limodzi. Anzanu a mnzanuyo akhoza kukupewani dala chifukwa:
- Safuna kukumana ndi mafunso anu
- Iwo amadziimba mlandu kuti sakukuuzani za zanu chibwenzi cha mwamuna kapena mkazi
10. Akuchita kudzidetsa
Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zodziwikiratu za obera kukhala olakwa ndicho kukhala ndi maganizo odziona ngati opanda chiyembekezo ndi kudzidetsa. Kusokonezeka maganizo kwa kukhala ndi moyo wachiphamaso kungawononge thanzi lawo la maganizo, ndipo angayambe kudziimba mlandu kaŵirikaŵiri. Izi zikuwonetsanso momwe kusakhulupirika ndi kulakwa zili mbali ziwiri za ndalama imodzi.
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Chotero, chigololo cha chisembwere chingaonekere kukhala khalidwe lodzidetsa, ndipo mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wobera angafike pomira m’kutaya mtima m’moyo wawo watsiku ndi tsiku. A Reddit wosuta "Kodi ochita chinyengo amakhala bwanji ndi mlanduwu? Ndinamunyengerera chibwenzi changa chaka chapitacho. Tinayesetsa kuti chigwire ntchito koma posachedwapa tinachisiya chifukwa sakanatha kuchichitanso. Iye sanathenso, ndipo kunena zoona, inenso sindingathe. Nthawi zonse ndikaganizira zomwe ndamuchitira komanso momwe ayenera kumverera zimandichititsa kufuna kufa chifukwa cha zomwe ndinkachita tsiku ndi tsiku komanso zomwe ndimamva tsiku lililonse. Kodi ndiyenera kukhala ndi moyo woterewu kwamuyaya kuposa kufa tsiku lililonse?
11. Akuvutika maganizo
Kodi mumadziwa bwanji ngati wina akukumana ndi zolakwa za anthu achinyengo? Yang'anani mozama machitidwe a mnzanuyo ndikuwona ngati mukuwona kusintha kulikonse kodetsa nkhawa, monga:
- Kulephera
- mphwayi
- kusowa tulo
- Kuwonjezeka (kudya maganizo) kapena kuchepa kwa chilakolako
- Kusuta kwa anthu
- Matupi ochotsedwa
Umu ndi momwe mnyamata amachitira atanyenga (kapena mtsikana), ndipo zonsezi ndizo Zizindikiro zakukhumudwa. Ngati machitidwewa ali osagwirizana ndi mnzanuyo, akhoza kukhala chisonyezero cha chinyengo chawo.
Studies asonyeza kugwirizana kwambiri pakati pa kudziimba mlandu ndi kuvutika maganizo. Ndipotu, kuvutika maganizo kungatchulidwe kuti ndi imodzi mwa magawo a kudziimba mlandu pambuyo pa chinyengo. Izi ndi zoona makamaka ngati wokondedwa wanu amakukondanibe, akukhala ndi chisoni chachikulu chifukwa chotaya chidaliro chanu, ndipo nthawi zambiri amadziuza yekha kuti, "Ndinanyenga ndipo ndikumva chisoni." Kusakhulupirika kwawo mwina sikunawonekere mpaka pano, koma mphindi iliyonse akadzuka mwina amakhala ngati kuzindikira koyipa kwa kuika ubale wawo pachiswe.
12. Amasowa kulumikizana kwamalingaliro
Munthu wachitatu akalowa mu equation yanu, ziyenera kusokoneza zinthu. Wokondedwa yemwe wapanga mgwirizano wamphamvu wachikondi / wamalingaliro / mwakuthupi kunja kwa chibwenzi zitha kukhala zovuta kuti alumikizane ndi bwenzi lake loyamba momwe amachitira kale chifukwa chotopa kwambiri. Njira yosavuta yodziwira olakwa ndi kuzindikira kuti alibe chikondi chenicheni. Mchitidwe wosakhulupirika ukhoza kumanga khoma losaoneka pakati pa okondedwa ndi chifukwa mtunda wamalingaliro kukwawira.
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13. Amanyenga
Ndiye, kodi munthu wolakwa amachita chiyani akaimbidwa mlandu wobera? Eya, palibe yankho lofanana ndi limodzi la funso limeneli, ndipo kachitidwe ka munthu mumkhalidwe wotero kangasinthe kuchokera ku kukana mpaka kusonyeza mkwiyo ndi kupweteka kapena ngakhale kusweka ndi kuvomereza zolakwa zawo. Komabe, yankho limodzi lodziwika bwino akafunsidwa za kubera kapena khalidwe lililonse lokayikitsa ndilo kupusitsa. Samalani ndi zizindikiro izi:
- Wokondedwa wanu wadziwa luso lakutembenuza magome nthawi iliyonse mukawafunsa za nkhani zawo osawonjezera kapena machitidwe osayenera
- Wokondedwa wanu wakhala ndi chizolowezi chosakupatsani yankho lolunjika, ngakhale mafunso osavuta monga akakhala kunyumba.
- Kulankhula mwachipongwe ndi mawu akuthwa kwakhala chilankhulo chawo akamalankhula nanu
Mnzanu akamakhumudwa kwambiri ndi chinyengo chodziimba mlandu, kupotoza mfundo kapena kubweza zoipa kungakhale njira yawo yodzitetezera kuti akuchotsereni fungo. Ndipotu, ichi ndi chimodzi mwa otchuka magawo odziimba mlandu pambuyo pa chinyengo.
14. Akuwonetsa 'chikondi' chambiri
Tsopano, palibe cholakwika ndi kutumiza ma selfies angapo ndi chidwi chanu chachikondi. Koma kodi mwadzidzimutsa mkazi wanu akuyika zithunzi zakale zatchuthi za inu awiri pa akaunti yawo ya Instagram? Kodi zikuwoneka ngati nsomba pang'ono? Eya, chidwi chadzidzidzi chapawailesi ndi mnzanu chingakhale chizindikiro cha kusakhulupirika kwachigololo. Itha kukhalanso njira yobisira kuti iwo ali kukunyengererani.
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Mnzanga wina, Mandy, anali pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna ndipo anadabwa pamene mnzanga anamuuza kuti waona mbiri yake pa chibwenzi app. Anafufuza pang'ono ndipo adapeza zithunzi za mzimayi wina m'chipinda chake chamafoni. Koma chomwe chidamudabwitsa ndichakuti chibwezi chake chidangoyamba kuyika zithunzi zawo ali limodzi pa Facebook ndipo adayambanso kupanga like ndikuma comment pama post ake onse. Mwachionekere pambuyo pake nayenso anaulula kwa iye, kuti, “Ndinabera ndipo ndinadzimva kukhala woipitsitsa.” Uwu ndi nkhani yachidule ya kulakwa kwa anthu ochita chinyengo monga kuchuluka kwa chidwi pa TV ndikuwonetsa momwe kusakhulupirika ndi kulakwa zimayendera limodzi.
15. Safuna kukambirana za tsogolo la chibwenzi
A mwamuna wolakwa kapena mkazi, amene wakhala akubera mwamuna kapena mkazi wake, akhoza kusiya kupanga mapulani amtsogolo ndi okondedwa awo. Ichi ndi chionetsero cha olakwa 'achiwembu ndipo zingakhudze osati zolinga za ubale wanu wautali komanso zolinga zanu zomwe zayandikira. Ndipotu, ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zoonekeratu zomwe amanong'oneza nazo bondo chifukwa chachinyengo (kapena akumva chisoni chifukwa chokhala ndi chibwenzi). Choncho, muzochitika zotere, mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wachinyengo angapewe kukupweteketsani mwa kukhala kutali ndi mapulani onse amtsogolo, monga:
- Kupanga nyumba kapena galimoto
- Kugwirizanitsa zolinga za ntchito
- Kukonzekera tchuthi chakunja kwa chaka chotsatira
Umu ndi momwe mnyamata amachitira atanyenga (kapena mtsikana).
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Kuwona zizindikiro zodziwikiratu za kulakwa mwa mkazi kapena mwamuna yemwe mumamukonda kumatha kukhala kopweteketsa mtima. Chifukwa chake, ngati muzindikira zizindikiro zomwe adabera ndikudzimva kuti ndi wolakwa kapena kuwonetsa kuti akudandaula chifukwa chachinyengo, zitha kuwoneka ngati mantha anu akulu akukwaniritsidwa ndipo dziko lozungulirani likuphwanyidwa.
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Koma ino si nthawi yoti tisiyane. Ndiye mumatani mukawona magawo olakwa pambuyo pa chinyengo mu khalidwe la mnzanuyo? Muyenera kudzisonkhanitsa nokha ndikupeza njira zanu zotsatila. Nazi zinthu zingapo zomwe mungayese ngati mutha kudziwa kusakhulupirika komanso kulakwa pa zomwe mnzanu amachita:
- Lankhulani ndi mnzanuyo za zomwe mukukayikira ndipo muthetse vutolo. Auzeni kuti mukuwona zizindikiro zomwe adabera ndikudzimva kuti ndi wolakwa ndikupatseni mpata kuti anene
- Ngati mnzanu waulula, ndicho chizindikiro chabwino. Koma ngati asankha kuti asamveke bwino ngakhale mutawapatsa mwayi, muyenera kuyang'ana kwambiri kusonkhanitsa umboni wotsimikizika kuti atsutse zomwe akukana.
- Mungaganizire kugula mapulogalamu aukazitape kuti gwira mnzako wonyenga ndi kuyang'anira zochitika zawo pa intaneti
- Mutha kupezanso GPS tracker kuti mudziwe komwe ali
- Mutha kuyitanitsa kamera ya kazitape ndikuyiyika m'nyumba mwanu ngati mukuganiza kuti ndi komwe amachitirako ntchito zawo zachinyengo inu mulibe.
- Mukhoza kugwiritsa ntchito foni cloning chipangizo kapena mapulogalamu kuti mwatsatanetsatane lowdown ntchito zawo
Zolozera Mfungulo
- Kulakwa kwa achiwembu ndiko kumva kuti wakhumudwitsa mnzako chifukwa cha kusakhulupirika
- Zizindikiro za kulakwa kwa anthu achinyengo ndi monga kusowa kugwirizana maganizo, kudziona ngati wolakwa, kudziimba mlandu, ndi kusintha nkhani.
- Ngati muwona zizindikiro za kulakwa kwa onyenga mwa mnzanu, mungakhale otsimikiza kuti akubera powapangitsa kuulula, pogwiritsa ntchito GPS tracker, kugwiritsa ntchito mapulogalamu aukazitape, ndi njira zina zambiri.
Mukawona zizindikiro zilizonse zomwe amanong'oneza nazo bondo chifukwa chachinyengo kapena akumva chisoni chifukwa cha kusakhulupirika kwake komwe talemba lero, njira yabwino ndiyo kukambirana ndi mnzanu za izi. M’malo mokwiya, auzeni kuti kukhulupirika kudzakuchitirani zabwino nonse popeza palibe chifukwa choyandama m’banja lopanda kukhulupirirana. Ndiye kodi obera amadziona kuti ndi olakwa? Zedi, amatero. Ndipo zizindikiro zachinyengo zachinyengo zimadziwonetsera okha mwanjira ina kapena imzake. Zomwe muyenera kuchita ndikudziwa nthawi komanso zomwe muyenera kuyang'ana.
Ibibazo
Zizindikilo zina zimene anabera ndipo amadziona kuti ndi wolakwa ndi: amakupatsirani mphatso, ndi wokangalika pabedi, kapena amasinthasintha nthawi zonse. N’kutheka kuti amamvetsa kuti akukukhumudwitsani ndipo akuvutika maganizo.
The ziwerengero za kusakhulupirika kusonyeza kuti 25% ya anthu m’mabanja amathera m’chibwenzi kapena kuchita chinyengo mwanjira ina. Ngakhale zingawoneke ngati ubale wanu sudzakumananso ndi vuto lofananalo, kukhala ndi zizindikiro zachinyengo kungakuthandizeni kuzindikira.
Inde, onyenga ambiri ndizofala. Ngakhale mungaone zizindikiro zomwe akunong'oneza nazo bondo chifukwa chachinyengo, pokhapokha ngati munthu akonza njira zake, amatha kunyenga mobwerezabwereza.
Uphungu wa aliyense payekha komanso maanja ungakhale wothandiza kwambiri pothana ndi zowawa, mkwiyo, kusakhulupirika zomwe mnzakeyo adaberedwa pazochitika, komanso manyazi, kudziimba mlandu, ndi zowawa zomwe mnzake wobera amakumana nazo. Ngakhale kuti uphungu sungatsimikizire kuyanjananso, udzakuthandizani kuti mukhale ndi zida zovomerezera, kukumbatira, ndi kuyendetsa bwino momwe mungayankhire maganizo anu.
Chilichonse Chimene Muyenera Kudziwa Zokhudza Mitundu 7 Yazinthu Zomwe Zilipo
Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
“Ndinali ku Miami limodzi ndi mwamuna wanga ndi kholo lake kutchuthi.
sabata yabwino. Chinachake chinasokonekera. Monga, kwenikweni. Ndipo ndidachita zomwe simukuyenera kuchita ndidafika
kupita ku hackgoodnesstech pa insta, gram yemwe adandithandiza kupeza foni yake popanda iye kudziwa. Zimatembenuka
kunja adagona ndi wina! Chifukwa chake, ndili ku Miami ndi banja lake popanda njira yodumphira kubwerera
ndipo sitinati tinyamuke kwa masiku ena awiri. Ndipo ili linali tsiku lokumbukira ukwati wathu. Asanadye chakudya
ndi banja lake.” AMUNA NDI CHIYANI?
Wakuba ndi wakuba ndipo amatchedwa wakuba. Wakupha amatchedwa wakupha. Choncho amene amabera ndi wachinyengo. Ngakhale wakuba ndi wakupha ali ndi zifukwa zochitira zinthu motsatizana, choncho wachinyengo amakhala ndi zifukwa zochitira chinyengo. Koma kubera ndi koopsa kuposa kupha chifukwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wokhulupirika amakhala ndi manyazi, kusakhulupirirana, kudziimba mlandu, kulephera, ndi zina zotere zokhumudwitsa zomwe zili mu mtima mwake kwa moyo wake wonse kuphedwa mkati mwa moyo watsiku ndi tsiku. Chifukwa chake, chifukwa chazifukwa zotsatirazi, mnzawo, Anthu kapena gulu lidzaweruza munthuyo ngati wachinyengo / wopereka (Woyimirira usiku umodzi kapena chibwenzi) ndipo palibe cholakwika pamenepo.
1.Mavuto m'banja si chilolezo chachinyengo. Munthu akanatha kuthetsa nkhani ndi njira zosiyanasiyana koma kapena akanatha analekanitsa njira ndi kuvomerezana m'malo anasankha kubera kumbuyo monga iwo amantha, opanda makhalidwe / khalidwe & manyazi ndi kukhala wodzikonda wonyenga kusangalala ndi ubwino zoperekedwa ndi ukwati anasankha kunyenga ndi kuchita sewero kunyumba mpaka anafukulidwa mlandu kaya mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo kapena mikhalidwe. Ndiye nchiyani chomwe chapatsidwa kwa munthu nzeru pongolungamitsa kubera?
2.Kwa wachinyengo, mnzawo ndi udindo chabe ndipo amafuna kuti apitilize kukwatirana kuti asangalale ndi banja labwino. Wonyenga anganene kuti sakondana ndi munthu yemwe adasangalala naye. Palibe kusiyana pakati pa hule wanthawi zonse ndi wachinyengo pomwe onse amagawana ndikulola ena kugwiritsa ntchito matupi awo ndi ena kupatula chifukwa cha hule nthawi zonse, ndalama ndizomwe zimapangitsa kuti chikhumbo chachinyengo chikwaniritsidwe. Wonyenga amachita s.kusankha uhule ndi munthu/anthu osankhidwa.
3. Onyenga onsewa amakula bwino pa mfundo yakuti " Ghar Ki Chor ko ngakhale Mulungu sangagwire. Munthu angathe kugwira nyimbo zakunja koma osati Ghar Ki Chor. Pamapeto pake iwo ndi Ghar Ki Chor ndipo alibe malingaliro kwa amuna kapena akazi awo. Kwa iwo, mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo ndi chopondera pakhomo kapena kapolo wosamalira udindo ndi zovuta zapakhomo. Iwo ali ngati tizilombo toyambitsa matenda. mnzawo ndikuchita sewero kunyumba.
4. Nyama zimadya, kukumbatira, kukwatira komanso kugona. Sakhala ndi manyazi, ulemu, malire, dharma, uzimu ndi kudziimba mlandu. N’chifukwa chake ndi nyama. Amangokhala ndi chibadwa cha zinyama. Wonyenga ali ndi thupi laumunthu koma osati umunthu koma makhalidwe a nyama. Koma pali kusiyana pang'ono. Zinyama sizidzachita sewero pomwe wachinyengo atachita zonyansa zonse kumbuyo kwa mnzake wokhulupirika amachita sewero kunyumba.
5. Kamodzi ngati wachinyengo, munthu ameneyo ndi wachinyengo/wopereka pa kubadwa kumeneku mosasamala kanthu kuti akhululukidwa ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wake kapena ayi, ndi wachinyengo komanso wachinyengo ku chikumbumtima chawo chamkati. Chokhacho ndi chakuti atha kukhala achinyengo kapena ayi. Koma amakhalabe onyenga/opereka moyo wawo mpaka amapita kumanda.
6. Ena amati kulakwa ndi munthu monga ngati kunyenga kulakwa. Kusunga mafoni patebulo lodyera ndikuyiwala ndikulakwitsa. Kuyiwala tsiku lobadwa la ur loved ndi kulakwitsa komanso ambiri. Koma kugwetsa nsalu ndi kugona ndi munthu amene si mwamuna kapena mkazi wake si kulakwa. Ndi chigamulo chozindikira chomwe wachinyengo wapanga.
8. Munthu akapita kwa ogulitsa masamba kapena sitolo yamagetsi, atadziwa kuti adapusitsidwa, amadandaula kwa kasitomala ndikulemba mndandanda wamalonda. Komanso munthuyo amagawana duping kwa onse ake pafupi ndi okondedwa ndi kuwalangiza kuti asatenge zolemba zilizonse kuchokera kwa wogulitsayo. Koma zikafika kwa okwatirana, munthu yemweyo amakhala wokhotakhota, wopanda manyazi, wopanda khalidwe ndi kuchita chinyengo chifukwa ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu, alibe mgwirizano waukwati ndipo amalonjeza malonjezo odalirika omwe amaperekedwa muukwati ndipo amatengedwa ngati chinyengo. Momwemonso kuphwanya chikhulupiriro ngati wina achita muudindo, amamutaya munthuyo panthawi yomweyi kunja kwa chipata. Kwa wachinyengo, mtengo wa mkazi kapena mwamuna wake siwofunikanso kwa wogulitsa masamba kapena wamalonda.
9. Chinyengo m’banja n’chachisembwere kwambiri ndipo ndi tchimo monga momwe zipembedzo zonse zimaonera.
10. Mumadyetsa osowa ndikuwamwetulira pankhope zawo; Mumatumikira anthu osiyidwa okalamba kwakanthawi ndikubweretsa kumwetulira pankhope zawo, ali ndi chiyamiko cha moyo. Muli ndi chiweto kunyumba, chidzakhala chokhulupirika kwa inu mpaka mpweya wake womaliza ngakhale sichinalumbirire kalikonse. Koma munakwatiwa ndi munthu amene anakulonjezani kuti mudzayima patali ndi woonda, amene wadzipereka kwa inu kwa moyo wanu wonse ndipo analumbirira pamaso pa moto wopatulika ndi umulungu wonse, makolo akale ndi zina koma anamaliza kukhala wonyenga ndi wopereka? Kodi ndizofunika pamoyo wanu? Kodi kuli bwino kukhala ndi ziweto kuposa kukhala ndi wachinyengo kunyumba? Awa ndi mafunso omwe mwamuna kapena mkazi wokhulupirika amakumana nawo.
Kukhululuka ndi njira yovuta, kukhululukira ndi kupitiriza ubale ndi umulungu koma sikuyenera kukhala pa mtengo wa mkazi wokhulupirika kupangitsa moyo wake kukhala womvetsa chisoni. Ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi wokhulupirika asankha kuti asapitirize chibwenzicho, koma ayenera kukhululuka kuti wina sangawononge mbiri ya onyenga pamaso pa wokondedwa wake wapafupi ndi wokondedwa, abwenzi ndi anthu ocheza nawo komanso pamaso pa ana awo monga afterall u have loved cheater all these times from the marriage & one cant take revest like the animal. Pamenepa mukhululukire ndi kupempherera onyenga nzeru zanzeru ndi chitukuko ndi kuchoka ku moyo wake kamodzi kwa zonse kupyolera muzogwirizana.