Ubale Wathanzi Ndi Wopanda Thanzi Ndi Ubale Wachipongwe - Pali Kusiyana Kotani?

Pano pali maubwenzi abwino, opanda thanzi komanso ankhanza kuti muzindikire zizindikiro za aliyense. Vuto la maubwenzi oopsa ndikuti mbendera zofiira nthawi zambiri zimakhala zovuta kuziwona. Ngakhale zizindikiro zonse zilipo, maubwenzi oipa akupitiriza kukupatsani zifukwa zokhalirabe ngakhale pamtengo wa moyo wanu.

Trevor amakonda Chloe ndi mtima wake wonse koma samalemekeza kwambiri malingaliro ake. Salola Chloe kupanga zisankho zilizonse ndipo izi zimakhudza kwambiri ubale wawo. Trevor amakonda kulamulira ndipo nthawi zambiri amayenda pamalingaliro a Chloe. Chomvetsa chisoni n'chakuti Chloe amadziwa momwe Trevor amamukondera ndi chifukwa chake amasankha kuvomereza zolakwa zake.

Upangiri wathu usakhale Chloe. Tonse timachita zabwino ndi zoyipa muubwenzi koma palibe chifukwa chokwanira choti wina akuchitirani mopanda chilungamo. Mndandanda wa kusiyana pakati pa maubwenzi athanzi, osayenera ndi ozunza apangidwa kuti akuthandizeni kuzindikira, kuzindikira ndi kudzipatula zomwe mungakhale mukukumana nazo.

Kusiyana Pakati pa Ubale Wathanzi, Wopanda Thanzi Ndi Wozunza

Nkhanza zitha kukhala zakuthupi, zamalingaliro, zachuma, zauzimu kapena zachipembedzo. Mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya nkhanza imatha kuchitika motsatana. Mwachitsanzo, kugwiritsa ntchito ndalama molakwika kungakhale kokhudza kuwongolera ndalama zanu, koma kumakhudzanso malingaliro kapena mawu. Komabe, nkhanza zakuthupi zingakhale zosavuta kuziwona poyerekeza ndi mitundu ina, chifukwa cha chikhalidwe chake.

Tiyeni tikambirane lero zolembera zina, zomwe ziyenera kukweza mgwirizano wofiira mbendera nkhanza, osati zakuthupi, mu ubale wanu. Mfundo imodzi yofunika kuimvetsetsa ndi yakuti kufunikira kwa chikondi, ulemu, kulandiridwa ndi chithandizo kumakhala kofala m'zikhalidwe zonse kwa amuna ndi akazi. Kuti mumvetse bwino kusiyana pakati pa maubwenzi abwino, osayenera komanso ozunza, munthu ayenera kumvetsera kwambiri zinthu zotsatirazi:

1. Control vs kudzilamulira

Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zazikulu za khalidwe lachipongwe mu maubwenzi zimachokera pakufunika kulamulira. Ozunza amayang'ana mwachangu kuwongolera mu ubale kuti akhale ndi ulamuliro. Akhoza kulamulira ndalama zanu mosamalitsa, mosasamala kanthu kuti ndinu wodziimira pawokha pazachuma kapena mumadalira.

Atha kulowerera kapena kukakamiza mchitidwe wogonana monga momwe amafunira ndikuwakakamiza panthawi yogonana. Atha kukukakamizani chikhulupiriro chawo chachipembedzo ndi chauzimu ndikukulepheretsani kuchita zomwe mumakhulupirira, zomwe ziyenera kukhala kusankha kwanu. Kuphatikiza apo, atha kuwongolera mayendedwe anu, kuletsa omwe mumacheza nawo komanso kuchita nsanje mosavuta.

Kusiyana pakati pa ubale wabwino ndi wopanda thanzi ndikuti munthu amasangalala ndi kudziyimira pawokha mu ubale wabwino. Ngakhale okondedwa amaloledwa kukhudza zisankho ndi zosankha pamlingo wina, amayeneranso kulemekeza malire a wina. Muubwenzi wabwino, wokondedwa wanu adzakupatsani uphungu koma sadzayesa kusokoneza zisankho zanu kapena kukakamiza zofuna zawo pa inu.

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2. Kutsutsa motsutsana ndi chithandizo

Mutha kuona mnzanuyo nthawi zonse amakudzudzulani, kuyambira kukhala wopanda chidwi mpaka osakuthandizani konse, ngakhale nthawi zomwe mumafunikira kwambiri. Zolakwa zing'onozing'ono zidzachotsedwa muyeso, ndi zofuna zolimba za kumamatira ku miyezo yawo yofuna kulakwitsa zinthu.

Kaya ikhale ntchito yanu, kavalidwe kanu, zosankha zamoyo, ntchito zosavuta zatsiku ndi tsiku kapena inu monga munthu, iwo adzatchula zophophonya zanu ndi kudzudzula zophophonya zanu, pafupifupi nthaŵi zonse m’njira yonyozeka, osasonyeza kulabadira zimene mwakwaniritsa ndi zimene mwakwaniritsa. Izi ndi zizindikiro zowongoka za kukhala a awiri owopsa.

Chimodzi mwazinthu zabwino zotsutsana ndi nkhanza za ubale ndikuti woyambayo ali ndi chikondi chochuluka ndi chithandizo. Inde, tonsefe timafunikira kutsutsidwa komangirira pang’ono nthawi zina koma kumafunika kuchoka kumalo odetsa nkhaŵa osati chidani. Mukakhala ndi munthu amene amakukondani moona mtima, amakuwonetsani galasi komanso kugwira dzanja ndikukuuzani kuti simuli nokha.

3. Kuimba mlandu motsutsana ndi udindo

Pali kusiyana pakati pa chikondi ndi nkhanza ndipo muyenera kukhala anzeru nthawi zonse kuti munene. Mukakhala ndi munthu wolakwika, sadzakhala ndi udindo pa zinthu zomwe zalakwika. Mudzakhala nthawi zonse wolakwa ndi amene amadzudzula kusasangalala, zolakwa ndi mavuto m'moyo kwa iwo.

Sadzasonyeza chisoni chifukwa cha khalidwe lawo komanso/kapena kuvomereza kuti siliyenera, nthawi zambiri kusinthana mlandu mu ubale ndikukutchani kuti ndinu opusa, achibwana, osasamala komanso/kapena osasamala.

Pokambirana za maubwenzi abwino ndi osayenera, pali kusiyana kumodzi kwakukulu - m'maubwenzi abwino, maanja amayankha kwambiri pazochita zawo. Sawopa kulakwa ndipo amasankha kukhala ndi zolakwa zawo m'malo mopweteka kwambiri.

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4. Wokhala ndi chitetezo

Nthawi zambiri mumawawona akukufunirani nthawi yambiri, kukuyang'anirani ndikunyalanyaza kufunikira kwanu kocheza. Adzawongolera mayendedwe anu ndi omwe mumakumana nawo, nthawi zambiri amakulepheretsani kukumana ndi anzanu ndi abale anu nokha kapena ayi.

Izi zitha kukhala machitidwe ankhanza kwambiri paubwenzi ndipo panthawiyo zitha kukhala mochedwa. Palibe mnzanu amene ayenera kumverera ngati ali ndi ufulu pa inu.

Kusiyana pakati pa maubwenzi athanzi, osayenera ndi ankhanza ndikuti mu maubwenzi abwino, okwatirana amakhala oteteza osati kukhala ndi katundu. Amafuna kukusamalirani osati chifukwa chakuti ndinu awo, koma chifukwa chakuti amakukondani ndi kukufunirani zabwino. Kudziwa cholinga ichi kungapangitse kusiyana kulikonse mu ubale.

Makhalidwe Osokoneza Ubwenzi

Muyenera kuzindikira kuti kwa wochitira nkhanza nthawi zonse amafuna kuti zinthu zichitike momwe akufunira, apo ayi pangakhale kupsa mtima, kunyozedwa kapena kumenyedwa, kutukwana, kusiya kugonana, kulankhulana ndi/kapena ndalama kwa nthawi zina, mpaka 'mukonze njira zanu' kapena 'kugwera pamzere'.

Chonde dziwani kuti palibe zomwe zili pamwambazi zomwe zachitika nthawi zina. Ndi khalidwe lachirengedwe ndi lodzikonda m'chilengedwe, kuyambira kuchoka kwambiri mpaka kusinthasintha. Nthawi zina, matenda amisala monga Personality Disorder akhoza kukhala chifukwa cha makhalidwe amenewa.

Pakhoza kukhala zifukwa zingapo zomwe mwasankhira kukhalabe paubwenzi wankhanza. Izi zingakhale zachuma, banja, chikhalidwe, kapena kusadziwa chochita. Pali kusiyana pakati pa chikondi ndi nkhanza ndipo mwina mumangosakaniza ziwirizi. Pali mabungwe ambiri omwe angakuthandizeni ndi upangiri wazamalamulo, wandalama komanso wamalingaliro kuti mukonzekere zotsatira zanu.

Mutha kupezanso thandizo kuchokera kwa psychotherapist pakuwongolera zovuta / zovuta zanu. Kuchita zinazake kuli bwino kuposa kusachita kalikonse. Khalani oleza mtima ndikupempha thandizo. Simudziwa zomwe zingagwire ntchito kapena kusintha kuti zinthu zikhale bwino. Onani Bonobology gulu la alangizi amene mungathe kuwafikira kuti mukambirane.

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