Momwe Mungadzitetezere Mwamtima Kwa Winawake - Njira 10

Kusagwirizana mu ubale - kapena malingaliro oyipa a kuchoka - ndizofala kuposa momwe mukuganizira. Mabanja ambiri akumana ndi funso lovuta la "Kodi mungapewe bwanji munthu?" atalephera kukonzanso mgwirizano wawo. Ubale wowonongeka suli ngati khungu loipa kapena tsitsi lomwe munthu amatsuka ndi gloss nthawi yomweyo. Nthawi zina, zimangofota, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti pakhale kufunikira kwa gulu ili. 

Komabe, atakhala limodzi kwa nthawi yaitali, zimakhala zovuta kuti anthu awiri asiye zonse. Palibe lingaliro limodzi kapena yankho la vanila la momwe mungachokere kwa wina. Yankho la funso lovutali ndi lotopetsa. Komabe, tiyamba kuyang'ana zomwe tingasankhe - ndikuthandizani kumasula chinsinsi cha momwe mungapewere munthu wina.  

N'chiyani Chimayambitsa Kusagwirizana M'maganizo? 

Koma choyamba, kodi kusokonezeka maganizo ndi chiyani mu maubwenzi? Pali njira zingapo zofotokozera ndi zifukwa zingapo zomwe zimafunikira. Ikhoza kukhala imfa yodabwitsa ya malingaliro anu. Kapenanso kupanda chikondi kapena ubwenzi. Kungakhalenso kukhala ndi malamulo oti mupewe kupsinjika maganizo, mkwiyo, mkwiyo, ndi kukhumudwa. Zingatanthauzenso kupeweratu wokondedwa wanu - pafoni, imelo, ndi zolemba - kulikonse.

Mwachidule, kusokonezeka maganizo mu maubwenzi kumatanthauza dziko limene munthu amadzilekanitsa ndi wokondedwa wake kapena wokondedwa wake. Izi zitha kuchitika mwadala, mwachitsanzo, ngati wina akuyenera kuchita zosemphana ndi banja lomwe silikuyenda bwino. Kapena mosasamala, mwachitsanzo, pamene pang'onopang'ono kugwa mchikondi ndi munthu. Zimapanga mtunda wamaganizidwe ndikuchepetsa mphamvu ya kulumikizana kwamalingaliro. Iyi ndi njira yodzitetezera ku zowawa, kukhumudwa, kapena kukhala pachiwopsezo.

Kusokonezeka maganizo si kusowa kwa malingaliro kapena kugwa mwala. Izi sizikutanthauza kuperewera kwachifundo kwambiri. Ndi kungodziika patsogolo pa wina aliyense. Kusagwirizana m'maganizo sikungatanthauzenso kutsazikana ndi mnzanuyo. Zingaphatikizepo kukhazikitsa zomwe zingakusangalatseni nthawi zonse kapena kungoyika malire muubwenzi. Anthu ena angaone kuti ndi zamwano pamene mwadzipatula mwakufuna kwanu. Komabe, chifukwa chiyani komanso momwe mumasiyanirana ndi munthu wina ndiye chisankho chanu chokha. 

Zizindikiro Kuti Ndi Nthawi Yoti Musiyane Ndi Winawake 

Kuwona zizindikiro zochenjeza zomwe zimakuuzani kuti ndi nthawi yoti musiyane ndi munthu wina kungakhale kovuta. Koma ndi gawo lofunikira pakuyika moyo wanu patsogolo, kuteteza thanzi lanu, ndikudziteteza ku ubale woyipa. Ngakhale kuti vuto lililonse ndi lapadera, pali zinthu zambiri zomwe zimasonyeza kufunika kokhala kutali ndi maganizo. Kudziwa za iwo kungakupatseni mphamvu kuti musinthe zinthu kuti zikule bwino komanso kuti mukhale ndi thanzi labwino.

Nazi zizindikiro zingapo zomwe zimasonyeza kuti ndi nthawi yoti musiyane ndi wina:

1. Nthawi zonse Negativity: Ngati munthuyo nthawi zonse amabweretsa zosayenera m'moyo wanu, amakudzudzulani kapena kukunyozani, ndikukuchotserani mphamvu popanda kukuthandizani kapena kulimbikitsa moyo wanu, njira yabwino kwambiri yopulumutsira ingakhale kungosiya kudzisamalira nokha.
2. Kupanda ulemu: Ngati munthuyo nthawi zonse amanyalanyaza malire anu, zikhalidwe, kapena malingaliro anu, ndikuwonetsa kusaganizira za ubwino wanu, ndi chizindikiro chakuti muli ndi mnzanu woopsa. Kuchoka paubwenzi pankhaniyi ndi chisankho choyenera
3. Khama la mbali imodzi: Ngati mukupeza kuti mukuwononga nthawi yambiri, mphamvu, ndi khama mu chiyanjano kuposa munthu winayo, osalandira chithandizo chobwezera kapena khama, zikhoza kukhala chizindikiro cha kusalinganika. Palibe zinthu zambiri zoipa kuposa kukhala mu ubale wosafanana
4. Nkhani zodalirika: Ngati munthuyo akuphwanya mobwerezabwereza chikhulupiliro chanu, kunama, kapena kuchita zachinyengo, zimakhala ndi vuto lalikulu pa chiyanjano. Zimapangitsa kuti pakhale zovuta za ubale, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kusunga mgwirizano wathanzi
5. Kuvulala m'maganizo ndi thupi: Ngati chibwenzicho chimayambitsa kupsinjika maganizo, nkhawa, kapena kuvulaza thupi nthawi zonse, ndikofunikira kuika patsogolo chitetezo chanu ndi moyo wanu pokhala ndi malire omveka okhudzana ndi chiwawa, kusokoneza maganizo, kapena kuzunzidwa m'maganizo. Funsani thandizo la akatswiri ngati mukuzunzidwa m'maganizo. Musazengereze kufunsana ndi foni yam'manja ngati mukukumana ndi vuto. Apo ayi, khalidweli pakapita nthawi likhoza kukhala matenda aakulu a maganizo mwa wozunzidwayo
6. Kupanda kukula: Izi zitha kukhalanso chifukwa chodzipatula kwa munthu. Ngati ubalewo ukulepheretsani kukula kwanu, kulepheretsani zomwe mungathe, kapena kukulepheretsani kukwaniritsa zolinga zanu ndi maloto anu, itha kukhala nthawi yoti musiyane ndikuyang'ana pa chitukuko chanu.
7. Kutulutsa mphamvu: Ngati kucheza nawo kumakupangitsani kukhala wotopa, wotopa, kapena kuthedwa nzeru, zikusonyeza kuti ubwenziwo sungakhalenso wokuthandizani. Muyenera kukhala paubwenzi wabwino ndi wokondedwa wanu m'malo mokhala ndikumva zowawa kapena kutopa m'moyo wanu kwamuyaya.
8. Kukhala ndi mikangano nthawi zonse: Ngati mikangano ndi mikangano ndiye chinthu chachikulu chaubwenzi chomwe chimakupangitsani kukhala ndi nkhawa nthawi zonse, ndipo kuyesetsa kuthetsa mavuto nthawi zambiri sikukhala kothandiza kapena kwakanthawi kochepa, kuchotsa kungakhale ntchito yovuta koma ndikofunikira.
9. Kutaya chizindikiritso: Ngati ubalewo ukuchepetsani kudzimva kwanu, kudziyimira pawokha, komanso kudziyimira pawokha, ndiye kuti kuzindikira kufunikira kodzipatula, kusiya, ndikudzitengeranso kudziwika kwanu kungakhale chinthu chabwino kwambiri. Inu mukhoza yesetsani kumugonjetsa wokondedwa wanu popeza kudzidalira kwanu sikungakhale bwino, koma mudzafika kumeneko pang'onopang'ono
10. Kumva m'matumbo: Ngati mukuona kuti chinachake sichili bwino muubwenzi wanu, khulupirirani chibadwa chanu! Zitha kukhala chizindikiro chakuti mungakhale mukusokoneza maganizo kapena kulowera kutali ndi chiyanjano. Anthu osiyanasiyana ali ndi kuthekera kosiyanasiyana pakuzindikira mawu kuchokera mkati, ndipo mungafunike kupanga zanu ndikudzipangira nokha zisankho zabwino.

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Momwe Mungachokere Kwa Munthu Amene Mumakonda Kwambiri - Njira 10

Tinganene kuti kuchoka kwa munthu kumachitika m'magawo angapo. Choyamba, muyenera kukhala otsimikiza za chisankho chanu chochoka, ndiyeno konzekerani kuti mupulumuke. Chifukwa sizikhala zophweka kukhala wekha mwadzidzidzi mutagawana malo ofunikira muubwenzi. Kudzipatula m'maganizo kapena mwakuthupi ndi chisankho chanzeru. Choncho, musalumphe mu izo. Tiyeni tiwone njira zingapo zodzipatula kwa munthu.

1. Dzifunseni mafunso onse ofunika musanachoke kwa wokondedwa wanu

Mukapeza momwe mungachotsere kulumikizana, pendani ubale wanu kaye. Ganizirani zonse zapamwamba ndi zotsika, nthawi zokondweretsa, zokonda, ndi zomvetsa chisoni zomwe zabweretsani kuti muthe kuchotsa chiyanjano. Imani paphompholo ndipo muwone bwino. Kodi adafufuza mokhudzidwa mtima? Kapena wasiya kukhala naye pafupi? Mukawona kulowa kwadzuwa kotsimikizika, ndiye kuti nthawi yakwana yoti mudzikhazikitse patsogolo kuti mudzuke mawa abwino.

Mafunso omwe mumadzifunsa nokha adzakuthandizani kuphunzira momwe mungapewere munthu. Muyenera kumvetsetsa malingaliro anu musanayambe kutulutsa malingaliro kuchokera kwa wokondedwa yemwe mwalumikizidwa naye pamagawo ambiri. Ganizirani ngati makina omangika omwe amafunika kuzimitsidwa mosamala osati kukoka pulagi ndikuwononga kuwonongeka. Sichinthu chophweka kusiya kukonda munthu amene munazolowerana naye. Mukadutsa mafunso onse, mwakonzeka kutenga sitepe yoyamba kuti muchoke kwa munthu amene mumamukonda kwambiri.

2. Pangani dongosolo lotuluka

Mukamaphunzira kuthawa, muyenera kukhala ndi ndondomeko yotuluka. Ichi ndi sitepe yotsatira mu njira zotsimikizirika zochotseratu maganizo. Kodi mwazindikira momwe mukufuna kuyamba kusuntha kapena kupuma komwe mwakhala mukulakalaka? Kodi muchita chiyani kuti akuthandizeni - kodi mulowa nawo m'kalasi yosangalatsa, kuphunzira luso latsopano, kapena kufunafuna chithandizo kuchokera kumagulu opangira izi?

Ndikofunikira kuti mukhazikitse gawo ili la kusokoneza maganizo. Iyi ndi sitepe yofunika kwambiri. Kutuluka muubwenzi popanda dongosolo kuli ngati kukankhira dzanja lanu m'chitsamba chodzaza minga. Mudzavulala ndi zowawa. Dongosolo lotuluka ili pamene mukudzipatula paubwenzi ndilofunika chifukwa limasonyezanso zomwe mukufunikira m'maganizo. Muyenera kupeza njira yozimitsira izi popeza simudzakhala ndi mnzanu pafupi. Njira ziwiri zoyambazi zikuthandizani kuti muchoke kwa wina popanda iwo kudziwa.

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3. Khalani odekha pamene mukugawana chisankhochi ndi wokondedwa wanu

Zidzakhala zovuta mukaganiza zosiya bwenzi lanu. Pali mwayi woti zokambirana zitheke. Wokondedwa wanu akhoza kukhala ndi mafunso ambiri - ndipo onse ayenera kuyankhidwa. Komabe, samalani pamene mukuyankha mafunso a mnzanuyo za chisankho chanu chochoka. Khalani osamala - phunzirani mungatani mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu akamalankhula zinthu zopweteka. Kapena zingapangitse kuti zinthu zikhale zovuta.

Zingatengere nthawi kuti mufotokozere kufunika kokhala kutali ndi wokondedwa wanu. Mukatero, angaone ngati alephera kukwaniritsa zosoŵa zanu zamaganizo ndi zakuthupi. Muyenera kuwatsogolera pakusankha kwanu, ndikukhala okonzeka kuvomereza kuyankha koyipa kuchokera kumapeto kwawo. Chifukwa sikuli kwa inu kuwatsimikizira. Muyenera kutsimikiziridwa za chisankho chanu. Sichifuna kutsimikizira. 

4. Yesetsani kupewa kugonana

Kupatula kufunafuna kutalikirana, mutha kudabwa momwe mungadzitalikitsire kwa munthu wogonana kuti musinthe kupita ku mutu wotsatira. Munthu ayenera kuganiza kawiri asanagone mu gawo ili la gulu. Nthawi zambiri, ndi bwino kupewa kugonana nawo kwathunthu chifukwa zingapangitse kupatukana kwanu kukhala kovuta. Ndikumvetsetsa bwino kuti mutha kukumana ndi zovuta pamene mukupeza momwe mungapewere munthu wogonana.

Kugonana ndi, pambuyo pa zonse, chilakolako cha thupi. Kuti muchepetse, onjezerani zochita zanu zolimbitsa thupi. Onjezani maliseche pazochitika zanu kuti mupumule. Ndi chibadwa cha munthu ndipo palibe chochititsa manyazi. Ndipo thandizo lina, pali njira zingapo nenani kuti ayi ku kugonana - mutha kugwiritsa ntchito zina!

5. Chotsani kuyanjana ndi ochezera a pa Intaneti kuti mukhale osagwirizana ndi wokondedwa wanu

Kuwadula pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti ndiye nsonga yathu yofulumira kwambiri ya momwe mungapewere munthu amene mumamukonda. Muyenera kusiya kuwatsata pama media ochezera chifukwa simukufuna kuti zosintha zawo zazing'ono kwambiri zikuwonongereni tsiku lanu. Nthawi zina, zimapweteka kwambiri kuwona munthu akupita patsogolo ndipo zimatha kukulepheretsani kupita patsogolo. Ngati mwakhala mukukhumba kukaona maakaunti awo ochezera pa intaneti, ikani kaye. Ganizirani chifukwa chake mudayamba kutengeka ndi chibwenzicho ndipo mudzapeza cholinga. 

Issa Rae, mphunzitsi wapasukulu yapakati, yemwe adaganiza zopumula kwa chibwenzi chake, Shiloh, adavutitsidwa m'masiku ake oyamba achitetezo. "Zinali zoipa kwa ife. Tinayamba kudalirana wina ndi mzake pa chirichonse. Sizinali lingaliro lokhala gawo, koma kudyetsana wina ndi mzake. Choncho tinaganiza zopumira ndikugonjetsa kudalira kumeneku. Zinkawoneka bwino. Komabe, m'masiku ochepa, ndinadzipeza ndikumutsatira pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti, "adatero.

Anati ayesa kumufufuza, ndikuwona ngati anali kukhala ndi nthawi yabwino panthawi yopuma. "Zinandikwiyitsa kwambiri. Ndinkafunika kucheza ndi anzanga kuti ndichepetse nkhawa zanga." Zinandithandiza. Kuyimirira potsatira ndikofunika kwambiri kuti udziwe pamene iwe uli pa ndege yokhudzidwa mtima," adatero.

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6. Uzani wokondedwa wanu zakukhosi

Bwenzi lapamavuto ndibwenzidi. Nthawi zina, munthu wapafupi ndi inu akhoza kukuwonetsani momwe mungapewere munthu wina ngati mukukumana ndi zovuta. Mnzanu akhoza kukupatsani malingaliro atsopano ndipo angakukumbutseni cholinga cha masewera onse. Ikhoza ngakhale kusokoneza kufunikira kwa detachment. Ndikofunika kukhala ndi ndondomeko yothandizira panthawiyi. Ngati izi sizikugwira ntchito ndi anthu m'moyo wanu chifukwa ali pafupi ndi mnzanu wakale, funsani anzanu akale, pangani anzanu atsopano, kapena lowani nawo magulu othandizira.

Kukhala wekha pamene ukuphunzira kuchoka kwa munthu amene umamukonda kuli ngati kusankha masautso osafunikira. Mudzataya chidwi chanu chokhala ndi gulu ladzidzidzi. Dongosolo lothandizira la abwenzi, achibale, ndi thandizo la akatswiri lingakulimbikitseni pamasiku ovuta kwambiri. Ndipo ngati mukuyembekezerabe kubwereranso ndi wakale wanu, ndiye pali mwayi pang'ono kuti Kucheza ndi anzanu kungathandize kuti ubwenzi wanu ukhale wabwino.

7. Sungani buku la malingaliro anu pamene mukusiyana ndi bwenzi lanu

Mukamayang'ana njira zotsimikizirika zochepetsera malingaliro, kulemba nkhani ndi chizoloŵezi chabwino cha tsiku ndi tsiku. Zimathandiza munthu kulemba maganizo ake. Zingathandize munthu kuti adziwe bwino za iye mwini. Mwachitsanzo, munthu akhoza kutembenuza masamba angapo nthawi zonse kuti awone momwe adayankhira pazochitika kapena mapu a kukula kwa malingaliro awo - kuyambira pamene adadziwa kuti inali nthawi yoti achoke paubwenzi mpaka pano. Kulemba zolemba kungathandizenso pamene mukuyesera kuphunzira momwe mungapewere munthu wina.

Ndikofunikira kupanga mapu a ulendo wa kusokonezeka maganizo. Pakapita nthawi, mutha kuyang'ana momwe mukupitira patsogolo - onani ngati mukupita kunjira yoyenera kapena momwe mukuyendera ndi kusagwirizana kwamalingaliro. Malingaliro awa, ngati akupita kunjira yosayenera, amatha kusinthidwa nthawi zonse.

8. Kodi mungasiyane bwanji ndi munthu yemwe mumakhala naye? Khalani osamala

Tisanayang'ane pa kufunikira kwake pakudzipatula kwa munthu, tiyeni timvetsetse kuti kulingalira ndi chiyani. Ndi za kukhalapo kwathunthu, kuzindikira zochita zathu, ndi khama limene timachita kuti tisatope. Kodi simukuganiza kuti mawu abwinowa angakuthandizeni panthawi yovutayi?

Yesetsani kukumbukira zonse zomwe mumachita mutasiya kucheza ndi munthu. Muyenera kumvetsetsa cholinga cha zochita zanu ndi kukwaniritsidwa kosalekeza kwa zolinga zanu zomaliza. Kulingalira sikungokuthandizani kuti mupulumuke m'malingaliro anu komanso kudzakuthandizani kuti mukhale olimba mtima ku zovuta zilizonse zamkati zomwe zingachitike mtsogolo. Ku pezani munthu yemwe mumamuwona tsiku ndi tsiku, mukufunikira kuchita bwino pa mbali iyi. Kotero, tsiku limodzi pa nthawi.

9. Sinkhasinkhani poyesa kuchotsa

Ubwino wa kusinkhasinkha nthawi zambiri umachepetsedwa. Kusinkhasinkha kungakuthandizeni kukhala ndi malingaliro atsopano pazovuta, kukulitsa luso lothana ndi kupsinjika kwanu, ndikukulitsa chidziwitso chanu, malinga ndi Chipatala cha Mayo. Mutha kukhala ndi nkhawa mukaganizira momwe mungadzitalikitsire kwa munthu wina. Munthawi yovutayi, kusinkhasinkha kungakuthandizeni.

Gia, yemwe ndi katswiri wa zamalonda, ananena kuti nthawi yomweyo anamva bwino ataika kusinkhasinkha pa ndandanda yake. Anali atapumirako kwa mnzake, Julia. Poyamba, zinkamuvuta kulimbana ndi maganizo akewo. Adalangizidwa ndi mlangizi wake kuti azichita makalasi osinkhasinkha. 

Iye anati: “Zinayenda bwino, kufunafuna kudzipatula sikunali kwapafupi kwa ine. Nthawi zonse ndinkadera nkhawa kuti Julia ayamba kuyenda ndipo ine nditsala pang’ono kusiya.” Kudalira pa zinthu zoopsa komanso maganizo ena ambiri zinkandilowa m’maganizo mwanga.

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10. Wothandizira adzakuthandizani kumvetsetsa momwe mungapewere munthu

Ngakhale mutapanga chisankho chochoka kwa munthu wina, mutha kupeza kuti mwalumikizana nawo. Kuchotsa kumatha kuwoneka kovuta kwambiri kuposa momwe zimawonekera poyamba. Zimachitika mukagawana ubale wozama ndi munthu. Komabe, chithandizo sichikhala patali ngati mutatopa. 

Wothandizira yemwe ali ndi chilolezo adzakuthandizani kuphunzira momwe mungapewere munthu. Adzakutsogolerani pang'onopang'ono kuti mudzikonzenso nokha. Adzakuthandizani kupanga zisankho zovuta zomwe zimabweretsa kusagwirizana kwathunthu. Chifukwa chake, ngati mukumva kuti mwatayika, mutha kuyankhula ndi m'modzi mwa akatswiri omwe ali ndi chilolezo Gulu la akatswiri a Bonobology.

Zikuwonekeratu kuti timafuna kusokoneza maganizo mu chiyanjano pamene tikukumana ndi mavuto. Wina angakhale ndi liwongo lofuna kupatukana ndi maganizo. Komabe, dzikumbutseni chifukwa chake munaganiza zochoka poyamba. Zikhala chikumbutso chatsopano cha chifukwa chomwe muyenera kuchoka pazinthu zina m'moyo wanu m'malo mowola m'malo omwe simunalembepo.

Nkhaniyi idasinthidwa mu Julayi 2023.

Ibibazo

Momwe Mungapangire Wina Kuti Aleke Kukutumizirani Mameseji Opanda Kuchita Mwano

Malangizo 11 Oti Mutengere Munthu Amene Simunakhale Naye Chibwenzi

Chifukwa Chiyani Anyamata Amadzipatula Pambuyo pa Ubwenzi Wapamtima?

Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.

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