Zizindikiro 8 Zomwe Muli Ndi Mwamuna Wolamulira Ndi Wonyenga

Kufalitsa chikondi

Anthu achinyengo ali ngati asuweni apamtima a narcissists. Amagwiritsa ntchito mphamvu zamaganizo kuti apangitse ena kuchita zinthu zomwe sangafune kuti azichita. Chizoloŵezichi chimakhala champhamvu kwambiri m'maubwenzi apamtima monga omwe ali pakati pa okwatirana kapena okwatirana. Mwamuna wopondereza adzalamulira pang’onopang’ono koma motsimikizirika, nthaŵi zambiri mochenjera mbali zonse za moyo wanu. Kuchokera pa zomwe mumadya mpaka zomwe mumavala, omwe mumacheza nawo komanso kwa nthawi yayitali bwanji, mukakhala ndi ana, ndi ntchito yanji yomwe mumatenga pambuyo pake, amatcha kuwombera pa chisankho chilichonse cha moyo, chachikulu kapena chaching'ono.

Mwachibadwa, kukhala ndi mwamuna wolamulira ndi wonyenga ndi mbendera yofiira muukwati. Komabe, kusokoneza maganizo m’banja sikumaonekera, ndipo motero sikuthetsa, chifukwa cha njira zachinyengo za wonyenga. Pamwamba, zingamve ngati mukulamulira, mutagwira zingwe za moyo wanu, ndikuwongolera njira yomwe mukufuna. Komabe, yang'anani mwatcheru, ndipo mudzazindikira kuti mwakhala mukuchita zofuna zake nthawi yonseyi.

Iye amakunyengererani kuti muchite zinthu zimene iye akufuna kuti muchite ndipo musanadziwe, mumakhala chidole chake. Anthu otere amagwiritsa ntchito malingaliro ndi kudziimba mlandu ngati zida zomwe amakonda kwambiri ndipo pamapeto pake mumasanduka kapolo wawo muukwati. Ichi ndichifukwa chake zimakhala zofunikira kwambiri kuti mumvetsetse ngati mwakwatirana ndi munthu wonyenga ndikudziwa momwe mungatulukire pansi pa chala chake chachikulu. Tili pano kuti tikuthandizeni kuchita zomwezo ndi kuchepa kwa zizindikiro za mwamuna wokonda kunyengerera komanso njira zachiwembu zomwe mnzako amachitira nkhanza.

Kodi Mwamuna Kapena Mkazi Amagwiritsa Ntchito Bwanji Njira Zosokoneza M'banja?

M'ndandanda wazopezekamo

Kupondereza m’banja kungayambe ndi chinthu chaching’ono kwambiri ndi chobisika koma zikhoterero zake zolamulira pang’onopang’ono zimayamba kukula. Izi ndizizindikiro za vuto lowongolera, poyambira, koma zitha kukhala zovuta kuziwona. Mwamuna wanu wodzikonda ayamba kupanga zofuna zosayenerera m'banja ndipo simungachitire mwina koma kukumana nazo. Mavuto amayamba kukhazikika muubwenzi mutangoyamba kumene, musanayambe kuonana maso ndi maso ndi kuzindikira kuti "mwamuna wanga amandinyenga".

Amuna opondereza amatengera kutengeka maganizo ndi chinyengo chamaganizo. Psychotherapist Dr. Marni Feuerman akufotokoza kuti: “Anthu osokoneza zinthu nthawi zambiri amakhala ozindikira kwambiri.

Chifukwa chake, ngati muli ndi mnzako wopusitsa, dongosolo loyamba la bizinesi ndikuti musadzipweteke nokha kuti mumugwere. Anthu omwe ali ndi zizolowezi zowonongeka amakhala ndi chithumwa chomwe chimakhala chovuta kukana komanso luso lopangitsa ena kuchita zinthu zomwe akufuna kuti azichita nthawi zonse kumapangitsa kuti ziwoneke ngati zomwe akuwagwiritsa ntchito akuchita mwakufuna kwawo.

Kenako, muyenera kuyamba kulabadira zizindikiro za kusokoneza maganizo m'banja. Kumbukirani zimenezo kunyengerera mu maubwenzi Zitha kukhala zobisika kapena zolunjika, kotero kuyang'ana mwatsatanetsatane ndikofunikira. Mosasamala kanthu za kuchuluka kwake komanso mawonekedwe ake, chinyengo m'banja nthawi zambiri chimadziwika kuti mnzanu akukupemphani kuti muchite zinthu m'dzina la chikondi ndi ukwati wanu. Koma zoona zake n’zakuti akukufunsani kuti muzichita zinthu zomuthandiza kuti asamade nkhawa kwambiri. Nthawi zambiri pamakhala njira zitatu zomwe okwatirana onyenga amagwiritsa ntchito:

Kusokoneza Mochenjera: "Kodi mukuganiza zopita kokacheza ndi anzanu usikuuno?" (Ngati inde, zikutanthauza kuti simundikonda)
Kusokoneza Moonekera: “Ngati umandikonda, udzakhala nane m’malo mopita kokacheza ndi anzako”
Kusokoneza Mwachindunji: “Tiyeni tizituluka, tonse awiri, sitifunika kupita kocheza ndi anzathu nthawi zonse”

Tsopano popeza mukuwerenga izi, mutha kudziwa momwe zimakhalira zosavuta kunyengerera munthu. Kulondola? Kaya kupusitsa kuli kobisika, koonekeratu kapena kwachindunji, kuli mtundu wa kuzunza maganizo. Wolakwayo nthawi zambiri amadalira zida monga kuyatsa gasi, kuwomba miyala, kukhala chete, komanso kukhumudwa kuti wozunzidwayo achite zomwe akufuna. Izi zitha kukhala zopweteka kwambiri kwa munthu yemwe akulandirayo ndiye chifukwa chake pasakhale malo ogwirira ntchito m'banja.

Komabe, maukwati kapena maubwenzi apamtima nthawi zambiri sakhala masinthidwe abwino omwe timangoganizira m'masiku athu osazindikira. Ngati chinachake m’banja mwanu sichikusangalatsani ndipo simungayambe kuganiza kuti simukufuna kudziimira paokha komanso kuti simukufuna kusankha zochita, pitirizani kuwerenga kuti mudziwe zizindikiro za mwamuna wopondereza.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zinthu 12 Zomwe Simuyenera Kulekerera Muukwati

Zizindikiro 8 Zomwe Muli Ndi Mwamuna Wolamulira Ndi Wonyenga

mu nkhani yonyenga lofalitsidwa m’magazini a Time, katswiri wa zachipatala wa ku California, Sharie Stines analemba kuti: “Kusokoneza maganizo ndi njira yosokoneza maganizo imene anthu amagwiritsira ntchito anthu amene satha kufunsa mwachindunji zimene akufuna ndi zimene akufuna.

Ngati mwamuna wanu amakulamulirani ndipo amakunyengererani, mukamatsatira kwambiri njira zake, m’pamenenso amakulamulirani kwambiri. Patapita nthaŵi, pamene mwazindikira zolinga zake, banja likhoza kusokonekera. Mudzatopa ndi kukhumudwa nthawi zonse kuti mukwaniritse zosowa zake zodzikonda ndikuyamba kuwona zizindikiro kuti mukufuna chisudzulo kuti mutengenso moyo wanu. Chabwino, kudutsa chisudzulo chomwe mungakhale mukuchiganizira sichingakhale kuyenda mu paki chifukwa mwamuna wakale wonyenga akhoza kukhala woyipa kwambiri.

Njira imodzi yopangira kuti ukwati wanu ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu ukhale wogwira ntchito ndikuzindikira zizindikiro zofiira mwamsanga ndikulimbana nazo m'malo moyesera kupukuta zizindikiro zowopsya pansi pa kapeti. Ndikofunika kuwona zizindikiro za mnzako wokonda kusokoneza maganizo nthawi isanathe. Kuzindikira zizindikiro zoyambirira kungakuthandizeni kupewa kugwiriridwa ndipo mwamuna wanu sadzatha kulamulira inu momwe iye akufunira. Nazi zizindikiro 8 zomwe muli ndi mwamuna wolamulira komanso wonyenga:

1. Mwatalikirana ndi anzanu ndi abale anu

kusokoneza maganizo m’banja — Akufuna kukuchotserani dongosolo lanu lothandizira ndikupangitsa kuti muzidalira iye yekha

Gawo loyamba la mwamuna wolamulira ndi wochenjera ndikupatulani kwa anzanu ndi achibale anu. Sizingakhale njira yachindunji koma yowonjezereka pang'onopang'ono. Amuna anu adzakupangitsani kutalikirana nawo pang’onopang’ono chifukwa kukuchotsani m’gulu lanu lochirikizako kumapangitsa kuti banja lanu lisokonezeke maganizo.

Anganene kuti sakumasuka mukamalankhula ndi banja lanu tsiku lililonse kapena anganene kuti akuona kuti anzanu sakumukonda. Adzapitiriza kubweretsa nkhani zina ndi anzanu ndi abale anu mpaka mutatalikirana nawo. Adzachitira nkhanza, kusalemekeza, anakwiyira apongozi ake ndipo potsirizira pake ndikukankhira kutali kwa iwo. Amafuna kuti mukhale kutali ndi iwo chifukwa akufuna kukulepheretsani kukuthandizani ndikudalira iye yekha.

Pamene ali yekhayo amene mungam’pemphe kaamba ka zosoŵa zanu zonse zamalingaliro, kumakhala kosavuta kuti iye akulamulireni ndi kukusokonezani. N’zovuta kuvomereza mfundo imeneyi, koma ngati mwamuna wanu wachotsa pang’onopang’ono anthu ofunika kwambiri pamoyo wanu ndipo ali ndi zonse zimene muli nazo, ndi nthawi yoti muyambe kudziuza kuti, “Mwamuna wanga ndi wonyenga.” Kuvomera ndi gawo loyamba komanso lofunika kwambiri pothetsa vuto.

2. Amachepetsa kudzidalira kwanu

Mwamuna wanu nthawi zonse amadzisonyeza kuti ndi wamkulu kuposa inu ndipo amakupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu wamng'ono pomuyerekezera ndi iye. Adzapitirizabe kukuuzani khama limene iye amachita m’banjamo ndi kukupangitsani kumva ngati simukuchita kalikonse. Tsiku lililonse likapita, kudzidalira kwanu kumacheperachepera. Mumaona ngati simuchitira mwamuna wanu mokwanira ndipo mumayesetsa kumusangalatsa. Mumadalira pa iye m'maganizo ndi m'maganizo ndipo banja lanu lonse limakhala lofuna kumusangalatsa.

“Mwamuna wanga ndi wochenjera ndipo wachititsa kuti ndisathe kudzipangira zochita ngakhale zazing’ono,” Sharon anazindikira zimenezi ali m’sitolo yogulitsira zinthu m’malo onse. Anapita kukagula mapepala a lasagna pa chakudya chamadzulo cha Lamlungu chomwe amachitira anzake. Atalephera kupeza zimene mwamuna wake ankakonda, anavutika kusankha zoti agule. Anadzipeza yekha kutengera foni yake kuti amuvomereze. Apa ndipamene kukula kwa chinyengo muukwati wake kunamukhudza.

Wokondedwa wokonda kusokoneza maganizo angakupangitseni kuganiza zachigamulo chilichonse ndikuyamba kunena zachipongwe kuyatsa gasi mu chiyanjano kukupangitsani kukayikira zenizeni zanu komanso kumvetsetsa kwanu komwe mumamvera. Ngati simungadalirenso chibadwa chanu cham'matumbo kapena mwachidziwitso ndikuyamba kukayikira kuvomerezeka kwamalingaliro anu, zovuta zomwe thanzi lanu limakhalamo ndi chimodzi mwazizindikiro zowoneka bwino za mwamuna wonyenga.

3. Nthawi zonse pamakhala chipwirikiti

“Lero ndinali kudzimva kuti ndine wokhumudwa kwambiri. Pamene ndinkakufuna kwambiri, unali kuphwando ndi anzako. Ngati mumalankhulanso chimodzimodzi ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu, dziwani kuti mwamuna wanu akugwiritsa ntchito chipongwe kuti akusokonezeni.

M’kukambitsiranaku, mkazi alibe cholakwa chifukwa samadziŵa kuti mwamuna wake akuvutika maganizo, komabe mwamunayo amam’pangitsa kuona ngati kuti chinali cholakwa chake kupita kokacheza ndi anzake kukasangalala. Amuna opondereza amagwiritsa ntchito chinyengo chamalingaliro kuti apangitse okondedwa awo kumva chisoni ndi kudziimba mlandu ngakhale kuti sanalakwitse chilichonse.

Kukwatiwa ndi munthu wonyenga kumatanthauza kuti nthawi zonse mumadzudzulidwa pa chilichonse komanso chilichonse chomwe chimalakwika m'banja kapena m'moyo wa mnzanu. Ngakhale zinthu zomwe simungathe kuzilamulira. Pakapita nthawi, izi zimatha kuyambitsa chikhumbo champhamvu tulukani mu ubale wolamulira chifukwa kukhalabe kumatanthauza kumangokhalira kulalatira, zomwe zingakhale zotopetsa.

4. Pali zopempha zazing'ono zambiri

In kunyengerera mwachikondi, pali njira ya "phazi-pakhomo" yomwe woyendetsa amayamba ndi pempho laling'ono ndipo mukangovomereza, apanga pempho lenileni. Zimakhala choncho chifukwa n’kovuta kukana chinachake mutayankha kuti inde pempho lapitalo.

Nayenso mwamuna wanu wonyenga amayamba ndi pempho laling'ono ndipo mukavomera, adzakufunsani mopanda nzeru koma simudzakhala ndi njira ina koma kungovomereza. Anu mwamuna akhoza kukugwiritsani ntchito ndalama, maganizo, mayanjano, ndipo ngakhale kugonana, kupititsa patsogolo zofuna zake ndi kupeza zomwe akufuna.

Kwa Clara, wopaka masseuse, udali mndandanda wanthawi zonse wa "mungakonde ...?" Zimenezi zinam'chititsa kuzindikira kuti anali kulimbana ndi vuto lachinyengo la m'banja limene linkaoneka ngati zofuna za mwamuna wake. "Mwamuna wanga, Mark, ali ndi njira yodziwonetsera ngati sangagwire ntchito popanda ine." Nthawi zonse ndinkaona ngati ndikugwada kuti ndikwaniritse zopempha ndi zosowa zake. Kenaka, ndinamufuna kuti asayine ngongole ya bizinesi yomwe ndinali kuyesa kuyisiya koma anakana kunena kuti sakufuna kusokoneza tsogolo lake lazachuma chifukwa cha chimodzi mwa zofuna za mwamuna wanga.

5. Kusamalidwa koyenera

Mudzaona kuti mwamuna wanu nthawi zambiri amakhala wozizira komanso wodzikonda koma mwadzidzidzi adzakhala wosamala komanso wachikondi. Izi ndizochitika za chisamaliro chokhazikika pomwe mnzanu amawonetsa chisamaliro ndi kukhudzidwa kokha mukakwaniritsa zomwe mukufuna kapena kumusangalatsa. Ngati mukufuna kukondedwa ndi kusamalidwa muubwenzi, muyenera kuchita zomwe iye akufuna. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zapamwamba za mwamuna wonyenga.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Momwe Ndinasiya Mwamuna Wanga Wonyenga Ndikuyamba Moyo Watsopano

Kusokoneza maganizo m'banja kumadziwika ndi njira yachikale yotentha ndi yozizira. Mudzazindikira kuti mwadzidzidzi mwamuna wanu adzasonyeza chikondi chachikulu, koma zimabwera ndi mtengo. Mtengo wa chikondi ndi chisamaliro ichi ndikukwaniritsa pempho lake kapena kumupatsa maola 24 a chidwi chanu.

Uthengawu ndi womveka komanso womveka bwino: tsatirani mzere womwe akufuna kuti muchite ndipo adzakusambitsani ndi chikondi ndi kukukondani, kukankhira kumbuyo kapena kumukana zomwe akufuna ndipo mudzalangidwa ndi kunyalanyaza ndi kulandidwa. Mkazi wonyenga sadziwa chikondi chopanda malire pakati pa maanja.

6. Adzagwiritsa ntchito zolakwa ngati chida

Wokondedwa wanu adzakupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu wolakwa pa zinthu zazing'ono. Adzakupangitsani kumva ngati kuti chilichonse ndi cholakwa chanu. Kudziimba mlandu ndi chimodzi mwa zida zomwe mwamuna wokonda chinyengo amakonda. Amakupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu olakwa kotero kuti mumadziona kuti mulibe mphamvu ndi kugonjera ulamuliro wake. Zina mwa zizindikiro zowonetsera za kulakwa pa ubwenzi zikuphatikizapo: kupereka zambiri kuposa mumalandira, kudzifalitsa wekha woonda kuti agwirizane ndi zosowa mnzako, kumverera osayanjidwa, ndi maganizo a chakukhosi.

Mnzanu wokonda kutengeka maganizo amangokhalira kupachika mlanduwu pa inu kuti akupangitseni kuwachitira zinthu. “Ndikupemphani kuti musiye kundichititsa kudziona ngati wamng’ono komanso wopanda chochita, sindingathenso kupirira. Kukambitsirana koteroko ndi chitsanzo chapamwamba cha ulendo wolakwa.

Ngati mwamuna wanu akuwongolera ndi kuwongolera, maulendo olakwa adzakhala chinthu chokhazikika m'banja mwanu kotero kuti mumatha kuziyika. Mudzadzimva kuti ndinu olakwa chifukwa chofuna malo anu enieni komanso nthawi yanga kapena kuchita zinthu zing'onozing'ono zodzitetezera. Zotsatira zake, mudzayamba kusiya pang'onopang'ono mpaka moyo wanu utakhala wopanda chilichonse chomwe munkapeza kale.

7. Iye amakuzonda;

Mwamuna wonyenga amakhala wosatetezeka m'maganizo ndipo nthawi zonse amawopa kuti mukubwerera kumbuyo ndikumunyengerera. Safuna kugawana nanu aliyense, ngakhale wachibale kapena bwenzi. Amayang'ana foni yanu ndi maimelo anu kuti awone yemwe mukulankhula naye.

Safuna kuti wina aliyense adziwe momwe amakuchitirani ndipo nthawi zonse pamakhala mantha kuti chinsinsi chake chikuwululidwa. Amakhala wokhumudwa mosavuta ndipo amakufufuzani nthawi zonse ndipo amaphwanya zinsinsi zanu. Kukwatiwa ndi wonyenga kumatanthauza nthawi zonse kuyenda pa zipolopolo za mazira chifukwa sudziwa kuti ndi zochita zako ziti zomwe zingayambitse kusatetezeka kwake ndikumupangitsa kukhala wokakamira komanso wopondereza.

Ngakhale mutasankha kuchoka m’banja losokonekera limeneli, sizingakhale zophweka kumuchotsa kumbuyo kwanu. Mwamuna wakale wonyenga akhoza kupitiriza kuyang'anitsitsa zomwe mukuchita ndikugwiritsa ntchito chidziwitso chilichonse chomwe angadziwe chokhudza inu kuti apindule nanu ndipo mwinanso adzakuyamwani kuti mubwererenso mumchitidwe wokunyengererani ndi nkhanza.

8. Adzapitiriza kupempha chikhululuko

Akazindikira kuti mwamvetsetsa momwe amachitira zinthu, adzakufunsani kuti mukhululukire ndipo adzakuuzani kuti asintha chifukwa cha inu. Adzagwiritsa ntchito nkhani yokhudzika mtima kukutsimikizirani kuti samafuna kukunyengererani kapena kukuvulazani. Nthawi zonse mukasiya kapena kukana kugonja pa kukunyengererani, iye adzakufunsani kuti mumukhululukire. Adzachita zimenezi kuti mukhale naye limodzi kuti ayambenso kukunyengererani.

Ngati muli ndi mwamuna wopondereza komanso wolamulira, muyenera kutuluka m’banjamo. Ukwati woterewu umakhala ndi nthano zizindikiro za ubale wapoizoni ponse pa izo. Mungakhale wololera kupatsanso banja lanu mwayi wina woganiza kuti mwamuna wanu wopondereza asintha. Zoonadi, anthu oterowo sasintha. Amangosintha njira zawo zowongolera.

Musalole kuti mwamuna wanu wankhanza akuchotsereni kudzidalira kwanu, chimwemwe, ndi okondedwa anu. Mukuyenera kukondedwa. Ngakhale kuti kuchita ndi mwamuna wakale wonyenga kudzabwera ndi gawo lake la mayesero ndi masautso, mutha kuyamba njira yoyika vuto laukwati ili kumbuyo ndikusintha tsamba latsopano m'moyo.

Ibibazo

1. Kodi kunyengerera kumawoneka bwanji m'banja?

Kupondereza m’banja kungakhale koonekeratu kapena koonekeratu. Wolakwayo nthawi zambiri amadalira zida monga kuyatsa gasi, kuwomba miyala, kukhala chete, komanso kukhumudwa kuti wozunzidwayo achite zomwe akufuna. Mosasamala kanthu za ukulu kapena ukulu wa kugwiritsiridwa ntchito muukwati, ndi mtundu wa nkhanza zamaganizo.

2. Kodi mungalimbane bwanji ndi mwamuna wokonda chinyengo?

Kulimbana ndi mwamuna wonyenga sikophweka. Komabe, ngati kutuluka si njira yabwino, mutha kuyendetsa bwino izi mwakulankhulana motsimikiza, kukhazikitsa ndi kukhazikitsa malire, kugwira ntchito yomanganso kudzidalira kwanu, ndikumanganso dongosolo lothandizira lomwe mutha kubwereranso panthawi yamavuto.

3. Kodi mungagonjetse bwanji mwamuna wonyenga?

Poganizira zanzeru zamaganizo za anthu onyenga, sizingakhale zophweka kuwaposa. Komabe, pophunzira kunyalanyaza zopempha zawo zopanda nzeru, khulupirirani chibadwa chanu, kuyimilira pa zinthu zofunika kwambiri, mutha kukankhira kumbuyo ndikupereka uthenga kwa mwamuna wanu wochenjera kuti sangakutengereni kukwera monga momwe amafunira komanso zomwe amakonda.

Zizindikiro 10 Zomvetsa Chisoni Koma Zowona Zosonyeza Kuti Sangathe Chikondi

Zizindikiro 7 Zochenjeza Kuti Mukulekana Muukwati Wanu

Zizindikiro 12 Kuti Mwamuna Wanu Akugonana Kunja Kwa Ukwati

Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.