Kodi Ndingasiye Bwanji Kupempha Chidwi Paubwenzi?

Kodi mumada nkhawa nthawi iliyonse yomwe simuli pachimake pa maubwenzi anu? Kodi kupempha chidwi mu ubale ndi chinthu chomwe mumachita ngakhale mutakhala osangalala kapena otetezeka bwanji? Chabwino ndiye, ife tiri pano kukuuzani kuti ndi nthawi kusiya kufunafuna chidwi mu ubwenzi ndi kupeza pang'ono chitetezo ndi chimwemwe mwa inu nokha.

Ubale wabwino ndi womwe onse okhudzidwa amakhala ndi malingaliro amphamvu ndipo sadalira kutsimikizika kwakunja. Koma ndi pamene aliyense amadzimva kuti ali ndi gawo lake la chikondi ndi chisamaliro ndipo palibe amene amamva kuti akunyalanyazidwa. Tonse timakonda chidwi koma kusunga ulemu wanu ndi kudzidalira ndikofunikira kwambiri. Choncho, ngati mwatopa kupempha chisamaliro kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi, kapena bwenzi kwa nthawi yaitali, buck up. Tabwera kuti tikupatseni chikondi cholimba ndikukuthandizani kupeza yankho la "Kodi ndikupempha kuti mundimvetsere?"

Kodi Muyenera Kufunsa Chidziwitso Paubwenzi?

Chabwino tsopano, zingakhale zabwino kwambiri ngati anzathu atha kuwerenga malingaliro athu ndi kudziwa nthawi ndi nthawi momwe mungaperekere chidwi kwa wina pachibwenzi, ndi chikondi chowonjezera pang'ono. Koma izi ndizosowa, ndipo mwina nthawi zina mumafunika kunena zomwe mukufuna komanso zomwe mukufuna kuti muzisamala.

Muyenera kudziwa kuti aliyense amafunikira chisamaliro chosiyana. Kwa anthu ena, ndizosavuta kusodza kuti aziyamikira kukhutiritsa kudzikonda kwawo kapena kudzichepetsera kudzikonda kwawo. Kwa ena, ndizofunikira kwambiri kuti alandire chitsimikiziro kuti adzitsimikizire okha pa gawo lililonse la moyo wawo. Zimachitika makamaka pamene zosowa zofunika za munthu ali mwana zimanyalanyazidwa ndipo anakulira m'malo opikisana pomwe amafunikira kuchitapo kanthu kuti awombe m'manja ndi omwe amawasamalira.

Kufunika kwakukulu kwa chisamaliro kungayambirenso chifukwa chodzikayikira kapena zilonda zamaganizo zosachiritsika ngati munthu adachitiridwapo nkhanza kapena kusweka mtima m'zibwenzi. Kusatetezeka koteroko kumawonekeranso, komanso kwa munthu maubale akale angakhudze masiku ano. Pang'ono ndi pang'ono aliyense amafuna chidwi ndi anzawo.

Koma ndi chinthu chimodzi kupempha wokondedwa wanu nthawi ndi nthawi, chinthu chinanso kuti mufunikire kuti muthe kugwira ntchito. Ngati zafika poti mukufunitsitsa kupempha chisamaliro muubwenzi koma mnzanuyo sakukupatsani, ndi nthawi yoti muyambe kukambirana. Simuyenera kufunsa chidwi paubwenzi mu mawonekedwe ake, koma kumbukirani, kulumikizana kwabwino kumagwira ntchito modabwitsa pamavuto ambiri aubwenzi.

Kulankhula za kufunika kwa chidwi mu ubale, a Reddit wosuta M’pofunikanso kuti onse awiri azilankhulana momasuka mosasamala kanthu za zimene akufuna. Mtsikana wanuyo angakhaledi wotanganidwa kapena ali ndi zinthu zimene zikuchitika panopa.

N'chifukwa Chiyani Ndimadziona Ngati Ndiyenera Kupempha Chidwi? 3 Zifukwa Zomwe Zingachitike

Kodi mwatopa nazo kupempha chidwi kwa mwamuna wanu/mkazi/mnzako? Kodi mukudabwa chifukwa chake? Pali malingaliro amphamvu omwe amalumikiza kukhala wodziyimira pawokha, wokondeka ndi kusasowa kapena kukhala ndi ludzu nthawi zonse. Azimayi amauzidwa kuti ndi bwino kunyalanyazidwa mwakachetechete kusiyana ndi kunena zokhumba zathu ndipo palibe amene amakonda mtsikana yemwe ayenera kukhala pakati pa chidwi nthawi zonse.

Kumbali inayi, amuna nthawi zambiri amasinthidwa ndi chithunzi chaumuna wapoizoni kuti abise malingaliro awo ndikukhalabe osasunthika momwe angathere, ngakhale atakhala ndi chiyeso chofuna kufunafuna chikondi chowonjezera pang'ono kuchokera kwa okondedwa awo. Izi nthawi zambiri zimapangitsa kuti abambo azikhala ndi manyazi chifukwa chosowa chisamaliro komanso kufuna kuti awonekere pang'ono mu ubale wawo wapamtima.

Kupempha chisamaliro muubwenzi kungabwere kuchokera ku zitsime zakuya za kupwetekedwa mtima koponderezedwa kapena kunyalanyazidwa kwa ubwana komwe kungakusiyeni. kumverera kunyalanyazidwa mu chiyanjano. Koma zitha kukhalanso kuti mukufuna zambiri kuchokera pachibwenzi. Nazi zifukwa zitatu zomwe zimakupangitsani kumva kuti mukufunika kupempha chisamaliro:

1. Mumavutika ndi kudzikayikira

Ngati mwachibadwa simudzidalira pang'ono komanso simukudzidalira, chidwi chanu muubwenzi ndicho njira yokhayo yomwe mungadziwire kuti mumadzidalira. Nthawi zambiri zimachitika chifukwa cha kulera kosagwira bwino ntchito komwe wina sanalimbikitsidwepo kapena kuyamikiridwa pazilizonse zomwe adachita ali mwana ndipo amawonetsedwa nthawi zonse. Ndipo kotero, mumapita kutali kuti mupemphe chidwi mu ubale chifukwa ndi momwe mumadzimverera bwino.

2. Ndinu osungulumwa muubwenzi wanu

Ngakhale mutakhala paubwenzi wodziŵika bwino, mumadzimva nokha nokha. Mutha kukhala wosungulumwa pachibwenzi chifukwa cha ndandanda yotanganidwa ya mnzanu, kusapezeka kwamalingaliro, kapena chidwi chomwe chikuzimiririka. Mumamva kuti simuyenera kupempha mwamuna kuti achite chidwi kapena kukakamira kwa mkazi, koma palibe njira ina yomwe mungadzitsimikizire kuti ichi ndi chiyanjano.

3. Mulibe dongosolo lamphamvu lothandizira

Kunja kwa ubale wanu, mulibe gulu la anzanu apamtima ndi okondedwa anu. Kotero, inu mudzakhala kumamatira mu ubale wanu ndipo nthawi zonse pemphani chidwi chifukwa mukuganiza kuti izi ndi zonse zomwe muli nazo m'moyo wanu ndipo mumakhala mukuwopa kutaya.

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Pofuna kukangana mwachilungamo, tinene kuti pali zomveka kusowa chikondi ndi ubwenzi mu ubale wanu. Kodi izi zikutanthauza kuti mumapempha nthawi zonse kuti mubwezeretse? Ndikhulupirireni, pali njira zina zothanirana ndi kusatetezeka kwanu komanso kuuma kopanda chikondi kumeneku muubwenzi wanu - kuyambira pakudzikweza mpaka kufunafuna thandizo la akatswiri. Simuyenera kupempha chidwi.

Zikatero, mwatopa kupempha chisamaliro kwa mwamuna wanu kapena mkazi wanu, tapeza msana wanu. Nawa maupangiri omwe tapanga okuthandizani kuti musiye kufunafuna chidwi paubwenzi:

1. Khalani ndi umunthu wanu

"Ndinali wokongola ubale wabwino pambuyo pa kuipa kotsatizana,” akutero Joanna.

Mukudziwa zomwe akunena - simungakonde ena ngati simumadzikonda nokha. Ngati mumadzipeza mukupempha chidwi paubwenzi, zitha kukhala zikubwera kuchokera kumalo osatetezeka kwambiri komwe simumadzikonda momwe muyenera kuchitira. Chidziwitso chanu ndi kudzidalira kwanu kungakhale kolumikizana kwambiri ndi chidwi chomwe mumapeza kuchokera kwa mnzanuyo. Ndikofunika kuzindikira kuti ndinu munthu wathunthu komanso wosiyana.

Ndipo ngati mukuwona zizindikiro zomwe mukupempha chikondi, ndi nthawi yoti mubwererenso ndikuganiziranso zomwe mukuchita. Pezani nthawi yanu, pazokonda zanu komanso zokonda zanu, chilichonse chomwe chimakupangitsani kukhala munthu wapaderadera. Kudzikonda ndi chikondi chapamwamba kwambiri chifukwa chimatiphunzitsa mmene tingaperekere ndi kulandira chikondi kuchokera kwa ena m’njira yabwino kwambiri. Choncho, pitirirani kudzidyetsa nokha. Anu pampered kudzikonda angakuuzeni kuti musamapemphere chidwi mu ubwenzi.

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2. Khalani ndi chithandizo champhamvu

Kodi kusamala ndi chiyani muubwenzi? Kukulitsa kudzikonda kwa mnzanu ndikusungabe mbali za inu zomwe zimadyetsedwa ndi abwenzi ndi abale ndi chilichonse kunja kwa ubale wanu. Popanda chithandizo champhamvu, mumamaliza kupempha chidwi paubwenzi chifukwa, chabwino, muli ndi chiyani china?

Musagwere mumsampha umenewo - khalani ndi abwenzi, patulani nthawi yocheza nawo, ndipo onetsetsani kuti muli ndi anthu oti akuwonetseni pamene mnzanuyo sangathe. Chifukwa iwo ndi anthu, ndipo padzakhala nthawi pamene iwo adzatero osakhala wopezeka mwamalingaliro kapena kukhala ndi inu mwakuthupi. Muyenera kusiya kupempha kuti wina azikusamalirani chifukwa simungathe kupanga munthu m'modziyo kukhala gwero lanu lokhalo lothandizira malingaliro ndi luntha.

Ngati kalendala yanu yochezeramo imakhala ndi moyo ndikumwalira ndi okondedwa wanu, litha kukhala vuto. Kuyembekezera kuti iwo adzakhalapo nthawi zonse kumalimbikitsa mkwiyo chifukwa mwakhazikitsa ubale wanu kukhala njira yanu yonse yothandizira - chinthu chomwe palibe wina aliyense angachite. Pangani maubwenzi ena, pangani dera - inu ndi ubale wanu mudzakhala athanzi. Mwatopa kupempha chidwi kwa mwamuna/mkazi wanu? Siyani kuwapanga kukhala pakati pa kukhalapo kwanu nthawi zonse.

3. Lemekezani malo a mnzanu

Monga momwe muyenera kulabadira kuti ndinu ndani komanso malo anu enieni, ndikofunikira kuti mumvetsetse kuti mnzanuyo ali ndi zinthu zambiri kuposa kukhala bwenzi lanu. Amakhalanso bwenzi, m’bale, kapena munthu amene amadzuka m’mawa kwambiri kuti azithamanga tsiku lililonse. Ndipo si mbali zonse za moyo wawo zomwe zidzaphatikizepo inu.

Riley anati: “Nthawi zonse ndinkaopa kuti mnzanga angandisiye. "Ndinaganiza kuti njira yabwino yopewera kuwonongeka kotereku ndikuonetsetsa kuti timakhala limodzi nthawi zonse. Tinkachita zonse limodzi tsiku lililonse kotero kuti nthawi zonse amandimvera. Zitha kukhala zowoneka bwino kwakanthawi, koma ndikhulupirireni, osapuma. danga mu chiyanjano zikutanthauza kuti mudzadwalana msanga.”

N’zovuta kuvomereza kuti anthu amene timawakonda sangatifune nthawi zonse. Koma ndi phunziro labwino kwambiri komanso labwino kwambiri lomwe mungaphatikizepo mu ubale wanu. Pamene mukudabwa chomwe chikuyang'ana muubwenzi, chinthu choyamba chomwe chimabwera m'maganizo sichiyenera kukhala 'kukhala osagwirizana'. Mulole mnzanuyo achite zomwe akufuna, inunso muzichita zanu. Mudzabweranso kwa wina ndi mzake kumapeto kwa tsiku, otsitsimula komanso amakondana kwambiri.

4. Khalani ndi zoyembekeza zenizeni

Mvetserani, ndimadana ndi kukhala woona m'chikondi monga momwe wina aliyense. Ndikufuna kukhulupirira kuti mnzanga ndi ine titha kukhala limodzi m'chiuno ndikukhalabe ngati wina ndi mnzake. Ndikufuna kukhulupirira kuti ndibwino kuti hyperventilate ngati sanayankhe mawu anga mumasekondi a 0.5, kuti tizikonda zinthu zomwezo komanso kuti tsiku lililonse lidzakhala umboni waukulu wa momwe mopenga timakondana.

Mwamwayi (kapena mwatsoka!), Chowonadi chimalowa mkati ndi kutiluma kwambiri. Pamene chikondi chikukula, ziyembekezo zimasintha, chikhalidwe ndi mawonekedwe, ndi maonekedwe a ubale wanu amasintha, ndipo zili bwino. Wokondedwa wanu, nayenso, adzasonyeza chikondi chake kwa inu m'njira zosiyanasiyana, ndipo sizikutanthauza kuti amakukondani pang'ono. Komabe, simuyenera kupempha kuti musamavutike.

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Nditanena izi, 'zenizeni' sizikutanthauza kutsitsa. Muli ndi zosowa zanu ndipo ndizovomerezeka. Kufotokozera kuchuluka kwa chidwi chomwe simungakambirane kwa inu kuli bwino. Koma bwanji osapempha chidwi? Onani wokondedwa wanu ndi ubale wanu ngati moyo wopuma womwe udzasuntha ndikusintha, mwachiyembekezo kuti ukhale wabwino. Ngati mwatopa kupempha mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu kuti akuthandizeni, yesani kuyang'ananso zomwe mukuyembekezera.

5. Lankhulani zakukhosi kwanu kwa wokondedwa wanu

Tiyeni tifotokoze pang'ono za 'zosakambirana' zomwe tazitchula m'mbuyomu. Tikulankhula za momwe mungalekerere kupempha chidwi mu ubale, koma sizikutanthauza kuti inu konse kupempha zimene mukufuna ndi zimene muyenera. Tikubwerezanso, zosowa zanu ndizovomerezeka.

Palibe manyazi kuuza mnzanu kuti mumaona kuti simukusamala. Kuti mwatopa kupempha chisamaliro kwa mwamuna kapena kutopa kupempha chisamaliro kwa mkazi. Chinsinsi apa ndi kukhala pansi ndi kukambirana. Ndizotheka kuti mnzanuyo sakudziwa momwe mukumvera ndipo waphonya zizindikiro zomwe mukupempha chikondi. Mwina sakupeza wanu chinenero chachikondi.

Muzilankhula momveka bwino. Muuzeni mnzanuyo momwe mukumvera ndi zomwe mukufunikira komanso zazing'ono ndi zazikulu zomwe angachite kuti mumve kukhala wofunidwa komanso kuti mukwaniritse zosowa zanu. Padzakhala zinthu zomwe sangathe kapena sangachite, ndipo zili bwino chifukwa mwawonetsa zosowa zanu.

Nthawi zina, muyenera kudzifunsa kuti, "Kodi ndikupempha chidwi paubwenzi, kapena kungonena zomwe ndikufuna?" Tonse timafunikira chisamaliro ndipo nthawi zonse zimakhala zabwino kudziwa kuti timafunidwa. Ndi mzere wabwino pakati pa kukhala wowona mtima ndi kukhala wosowa kwambiri, koma ndichifukwa chake kulumikizana kuli kofunika kwambiri pano.

6. Funsani thandizo la akatswiri

Kufuna chisamaliro chambiri muubwenzi kungayambike chifukwa cha zowawa zaubwana kapena kusakhazikika nthawi zonse paunyamata ndi maubwenzi apamtima am'mbuyomu. Ngati ndinu munthu amene 'wasiyidwa' nthawi zambiri, ngati inu nthawizonse mantha kuti simuli okwanira ndipo adzakhala m'malo ndi munthu bwino, izi zikhoza kuonekera popempha chidwi mu ubwenzi.

Osapempha chidwi mu ubale ndi zosavuta kunena kuposa kuchita. Zikatero, ndi bwino kufunafuna thandizo la akatswiri. Mutha kuyamba nokha kuti mudziwe zambiri zakufunika kwanu kuti musamalidwe, kenako n'kusankha chithandizo cha maanja ndi okondedwa wanu kuti ubale wanu ukhale wabwino komanso kuti mukwaniritse zosowa za wina ndi mzake.

Kupita kuchithandizo nthawi zonse ndi lingaliro labwino chifukwa tiyeni tivomereze, tonse titha kugwiritsa ntchito thandizo pang'ono poyang'ana gawo laumoyo wamaganizidwe komanso maubwenzi apamtima. Pamene mukupempha kuti mukhale pachibwenzi, zikhoza kubweretsa manyazi ndi kudzida chifukwa mukudziwa kuti mukutaya ulemu wanu ndi kudzidalira kwanu.

Kumbukirani, palibe manyazi kupempha thandizo ndikuzindikira kuti mumafunikira khutu la akatswiri kuti akumveni ndikukutsogolerani kuti mukhale ndi thanzi labwino komanso ubale wanu. Ngati mwatopa kupempha mwamuna/mkazi wanu kuti akuthandizeni ndipo mukufuna thandizo kuti mupeze wothandizira, Bonobology's gulu la akatswiri alangizi ali nthawi zonse kwa inu.

7. Ganizirani kuti wokondedwa wanu akhoza kukhala chifukwa

Takambirana kale momwe njira za mnzako zosonyezera chidwi ndi kusonyeza chikondi zingakhale zosiyana kwambiri ndi zanu. N’kuthekanso kuti amavutika m’njira inayake, kapena kuti angogwidwa ndi ntchito ndi zina zotero moti sanazindikire n’komwe kuti mukunyalanyazidwa.

Shilo anati: “Ndimachokera m’banja lalikulu ndipo ndife omasuka kwambiri. Koma mnzanga, akuchokera m’banja limene silinakhulupirirepo kusonyeza kutengeka maganizo kapena kumasuka ponena za mmene akumvera, ponse paŵiri malingaliro abwino ndi oipa.” Chotero, pamene tinasonkhana pamodzi, ndinapitiriza kulingalira kuti sanandilabadire, kuti sanandipeze konse.

Ndibwino kunena kuti musamapemphe mwamuna kuti akuthandizeni, komanso kumangomva ngati ndiwe wosowa kwambiri komanso kuti ndiwe amene uyenera kusintha. Koma mwina mnzanuyo amangofunika kutsogoleredwa mokoma mtima ndikukumbutsidwa kuti ubale umafunikanso kudyetsedwa nthawi zonse. Kotero, ngati mwatopa kupempha chidwi kwa mwamuna wanu, mwinamwake si inu, koma iye.

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8. Khalani ndi nthawi yocheza ndi okondedwa wanu

Mnzake ndi mwamuna wake akhazikitsa nthawi imene amawatcha kuti 'maola ogwira ntchito m'banja', kumene amapatula ola limodzi kapena kuposerapo kangapo pamlungu kuti zikhala zawo zokha. Ndi pamene amapeza sabata, kukambirana zomwe zikuchitika m'miyoyo yawo, ndi nkhani zilizonse zomwe ziyenera kuulutsidwa.

“Tonse tikugwira ntchito, tili ndi ana ndipo tinali kutaya chisamaliro cha wina ndi mnzake,” bwenzi langa akundiuza kuti: “Mwa kukonza nthaŵi ino, timatsimikizira kuti sitikuiŵalanso unansi wathu wonse.

Ndimaganizira kwambiri za izi chifukwa tikamakula komanso maubwenzi athu amakhwima, zimaoneka kuti zimakhala zosavuta kunyalanyazana. Ubwenzi wokonzedweratu sungawoneke wachikondi ngati lingaliro, koma ngati likugwira ntchito, limagwira ntchito. Kaya ndizokhazikika masiku a tsiku, ndondomeko ya kugonana, kapena nthawi zonse kuonetsetsa kuti mumaganizira wina ndi mzake patebulo la chakudya chamadzulo, pitirirani ndikupatula nthawi yomwe ili ya inu nonse m'malo momangokhalira kumverera ngati mukupempha chidwi mu chiyanjano.

9. Chokani ngati pakufunika kutero

Zimakhala zovuta kusiya chibwenzi, makamaka ngati ndi munthu amene mwakhala naye kwa nthawi yayitali. Zimakhala zovuta kuvomereza kuti chinthu chowoneka ngati chopanda chidwi chomwe chimachititsa kuti ubale wanu uthe. Koma, ndizofala kuposa momwe mukuganizira. Koma pamene mukupempha chisamaliro pachibwenzi, ndi chizindikironso kuti zosowa zanu sizikukwaniritsidwa. Zikatero, palibe vuto kuchokapo.

Musaiwale kuti kuchoka sikutanthauza kuti mwasiya chibwenzi chanu kapena kuti chibwenzi chanu chikutha. Wachidule kulekana kwaukwati kapena kutha kwa ubale kutha kukhala zomwe inu ndi okondedwa wanu mukufunikira kuti mukhale ndi kawonedwe kake ndipo mwina gwiritsani ntchito njira yabwino yowonera ubale wanu. Chilichonse ndichabwino kuposa kupempha chidwi paubwenzi nthawi zonse.

Kumbali inayi, palibe chifukwa chokhalirabe paubwenzi pomwe simukusangalala komanso kunyalanyazidwa. Ngati mwatopa kupempha chidwi kwa mwamuna, ndizotheka kuti nthawi zonse mumakhala wotopa ndikudziganizira nokha komanso kupangitsa mnzanuyo kukhala womvetsa chisoni ndikudzitchinjiriza. Zikatero, kuchokapo ndiye chinthu chabwino kwambiri chomwe mungachitire nokha komanso ubale wanu.

Tsopano, tonse ndife odziyimira pawokha komanso odzimva tokha. Pitirizani kukhala ndi umunthu wanu ndikukondwerera kukhala wapadera kwanu momwe mungathere. Koma palibe cholakwika ndi kufuna chisamaliro pang'ono owonjezera m'moyo ndi chikondi, ndipo palibe chifukwa kudzimenya nokha kutero, ngakhale inu simuyenera kupeza nokha kupempha chidwi mu ubwenzi.

Chinsinsi apa ndi kulinganiza. Ndi bwino kukambirana zapamtima ndi wokondedwa wanu, ngakhale atakhala a kukambirana mbendera yofiira, ndipo tsegulani za zosowa zanu kuposa kuziyika zonse m'mabotolo ndikungozifotokoza mwachipongwe kapena movutikira. Gwirani ntchito nokha, konzekerani ubale wanu ndikukumbukira kuti mtendere wanu wamalingaliro ndi ulemu zimaposa china chilichonse.

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