Ukunquma ngokuqeda umshado kunzima, nokho, kubantu abaningi, inselele yangempela isekuqhubekeleni phambili ngemva kwesehlukaniso. Isisindo sesithembiso esiphuliwe senjabulo yaphakade, ukukhulula imikhuba yokuphila komshado, ukudedela ubudlelwano beminyaka yonke, ukucosha izingcezu zempilo ehlukumezekile, nokuphumela emhlabeni njengomuntu ongashadile akulula neze.
Ukwenezela kukho ubuxhwanguxhwangu bezimpi zasenkantolo osekunesikhathi eside zidonswa, izinselele zokuba umzali oyedwa, nokuthola indlela ohamba ngayo ngokomzwelo, ngokwenhlalo, nangokwezimali, futhi ungase uzithole ucabanga ukuthi umshado ongenalo uthando, nokungasebenzi kahle obunamathele kuwo wawububi obuncane kakhulu kunokuphila ngemva kwesehlukaniso. Siyakuthola, okujwayelekile kuhlale kududuza kakhulu kunempilo yokungaqiniseki. Kodwa-ke, manje akusona isikhathi sokuqagela ukukhetha kwakho noma uzibuze ukuthi ngabe ukuhlala ebudlelwaneni obungafezisi bekungaba yisinqumo esihlakaniphe kakhulu - ngokwerekhodi, akunjalo.
Ufanelwe injabulo kuzo zonke izigaba zokuphila kwakho. Uma indlela eya kuleyo njabulo idlula emfucumfucwini yomshado, makube njalo. Ngaphandle kwalokho, isehlukaniso akusona isinqumo osifinyelela kalula, ngakho-ke okokuqala nje, yekela ukuthi yini-ifs. Ngisho noma kungase kungabonakali ezikhathini zakho ezimnyama kakhulu, usuvele usithathile leso sinyathelo sokuqala sokubuyisela ukulawula impilo yakho. Manje, udinga ukukusebenzisa ngokugcwele.
Izinyathelo ozithathayo zokuqhubekela phambili ngemva kwesehlukaniso zinquma ukuthi impilo yakho izoqhubeka kanjani kusukela manje kuqhubeke. Yingakho kubalulekile ukwenza kahle. Lokho kusho ukusuka ekuzihawukeleni uye ekuzinakekeleni nokufunda ukuzibeka phambili. Silapha ukuzokusiza kulolo hambo, ngokubonisana nomqeqeshi wezempilo ngokomzwelo kanye nokunakekela impilo yakho uPooja Priyamvada (oqinisekisiwe kwi-Psychological and Mental Health First Aid evela eJohns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health kanye naseNyuvesi yaseSydney), ogxile ekwelulekeni ngezindaba zobudlelwano bomshado, ukuhlukana, ukuhlukana, usizi, kanye nokulahlekelwa, ukubala ezimbalwa.
Kuthatha Isikhathi Esingakanani Ukuqhubeka Ngemva Kwesehlukaniso?
Okuqukethwe
Inqubo yokuqhubeka nesehlukaniso iyingqayizivele kumuntu ngamunye. Ubude bomshado wakho buzohambisana ngokuqondile nesikhathi osithathayo ukuqhubeka. Uhlobo lobudlelwano bakho nowawushade naye kanye nezimo zesehlukaniso nazo zinengxenye. Isibonelo, uma uphumile emshadweni wakho ngenxa yokuthi uphelelwe uthando nomlingani wakho, kungaba lula ukuqala phansi, ukusho, uma isehlukaniso siwumphumela wokukopela komlingani wakho.
Ngokusekelwe kulezi zimo eziguquguqukayo, isikhathi sokuqhubeka nokuphila singaba izinyanga eziyisithupha noma iminyaka eyisithupha. Kodwa-ke, ngokusho kocwaningo , kuthatha abantu isilinganiso sezinyanga ezingu-18 ukuqeda ukuhlukana kwabalingani babo bomshado. UPooja uyachaza, “Iningi labantu lizabalaza ukuqhubeka nokuphila ngemva kwesehlukaniso ngenxa yomuzwa wokulahlekelwa, ukudideka, kanye nezinkinga endleleni efanele yokuphila impilo engenabuhlungu noma ukukhathazeka.”
Ngaphandle kwalokho, ukuthi kukuthatha isikhathi esingakanani ukushiya okuhlangenwe nakho okungajabulisi komshado obhidlikile nakho kuxhomeke endleleni ochaza ngayo ukuqhubekela phambili. Uma incazelo yakho ikwazi ukuqala kabusha njengomuntu ozimele, ongashadile, ogcina elawula impilo yakhe, kungaba lula ukuphuma ethunzini lempilo yakho yomshado.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma umqondo wakho wokuqhubeka nothando ukuphinda uthandane, khona-ke inqubo ingase idonseleke kakhulu. Lokhu akusho ukuthi awukwazi ukuthola uthando ngemva kwesehlukaniso noma ukuba sebudlelwaneni obusha. Yiqiniso, ungakwazi. Ungase ungene ngisho nasebudlelwaneni obanelisayo kunalobo owawunabo. Akuvamile ukuba ungene ebudlelwaneni - okungenani obungokoqobo - ngokushesha ngemva kwesehlukaniso.
Esinye isici esinquma ukuthi kulula noma kunzima kangakanani ukuqhubekela phambili ngemuva kwesehlukaniso kungaba yizinga nokuqina kokunamathela. Ngisho noma ubuhlobo bebulimaza ngokwemvelo futhi nivuma nobabili ukuthi ukuhlala ngokwehlukana kuyinto engcono kakhulu eningayenza, ungase ube nobunzima bokubhekana nowayeshade naye. Lokhu kuyiqiniso ikakhulukazi ebudlelwaneni obunobuthi noma obuhlukumezayo, lapho ozakwethu beboshelwe ndawonye hhayi ngothando kodwa uhlobo lokunamathisela olungenampilo kodwa oluqinile.
Iphuzu liwukuthi, kuzothatha isikhathi eside njengoba kuthatha, futhi uma unenhlanhla, ungase uzithole usufanelekela umugqa wesikhathi osekelwe ocwaningweni wezinyanga eziyi-18 zokululama isehlukaniso. Yebo, indlela izoba yinselele, ikakhulukazi uma uzama ukuqhubekela phambili nesehlukaniso obungasifuni, kodwa ngomzamo ongaguquki, ungakwazi ukuguqula lokhu kubuyela emuva kube isisekelo sekusasa eliqhakazile.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Indlela Yokushiya Umshado Ngokuthula – Amathiphu Ochwepheshe Ayisi-9 Ongawasiza
Kungani Ungase Ube Uzabalaza Ngokusuka Esehlukaniso?
Isehlukaniso siwukugxumela ebumnyameni futhi akuvamile ukuzwa umuzwa wokunganyakazi noma ukulahlekelwa ukuzazi ngemva kwalokho. Isikhathi eside kangaka, naniyingxenye yomkhaya, nakuba ningajabulile, futhi indima eniyifezile ekuphileni komshado wenu iba yingxenye enkulu yobuwena. Lapho konke lokho sekususwa, kungokwemvelo ukuzizwa ugajwe imibuzo enjengokuthi, Ngingubani? Iyini injongo yempilo yami? Ubani okufanele ngincike kuye?
Uma isehlukaniso senzeka kudala kakhulu kangangokuthi awukwazi nokukubona ngemuva kwempilo kodwa usazithola ulwa nomuzwa wokulahlekelwa, imizwa yecala, nemizwa exubile mayelana nowayeshade naye, kungase kube nezimbangela ezithile ezibangela ukuthi ungakwazi ukuqhubeka. Njenge:
- Intukuthelo engaxazululeki ngendlela isehlukaniso sakho esidlale ngayo
- Ukuzenyeza
- Ukuzizwa sengathi uyisisulu sesehlukaniso kunokuba ingxenye elinganayo kuso
- Ukuhlukumezeka ngenxa yokukhashelwa umngane womshado
- Ukwesaba ukudedela futhi uqhubeke
- Uzungu
- Inkinga ye-Midlife
- Izimo zempilo yengqondo njengokukhathazeka noma ukucindezeleka
- Izinkinga zokulutha noma ukusetshenziswa kabi kwezidakamizwa
UPooja uthi, “Isiphetho somshado siyadabukisa. Umshado ongaphumeleli ungase ushiye umuntu enecala “lokuhluleka.” Lapho lokho kwenzeka, ukuba nombono ongahlangene nolinganiselayo ngesimo sakho kungaba usizo.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimpawu Eziyi-15 Ezicashile Kodwa Eziqinile Zokuthi Umshado Wakho Uzophela Ngesehlukaniso
9 Amacebiso Abalulekile Lapho Uqhubeka Ngemva Kwesehlukaniso
Manje uza embuzweni owakulethe lapha: kanjani ukuqhubeka nesehlukaniso? Nakuba ingekho impendulo elingana nosayizi owodwa lapha, ukufunda ukubeka unyawo olulodwa phambi kolunye nokuthatha izinyathelo zomntwana eziya ekusaseni eliqhakazile kuwukhiye. Esikhundleni sokukhathazeka ngokweqile ngakho konke ngesikhathi esisodwa, bhekana nenqubo eqhubekayo ngokuhlelekile. Beka kuqala izidingo zakho futhi usebenzele ukubhekana nazo.
Ukubhekana nemizwa engakhululekile kanye nokuxhuma kabusha ubuchopho bakho ukuze buphole ebuhlungwini kokubili kubalulekile ngokulinganayo ukuze uqhubekele phambili ngemva kwesehlukaniso. Futhi ungakwenza kanjani lokho? Nawa amathiphu ambalwa asekelwe ochwepheshe angasiza:
1. Beka kuqala ukuzinakekela ukuze ululame futhi uqhubeke
Njengoba usuphinde washada, kufanele uzizwe ukhululekile. Ubuhlungu kanye namanxeba angokomzwelo omshado ohlulekile kungaba nzima kakhulu uma ungathathi izinyathelo ezisebenzayo zokubhekana nawo. Yingakho ukubeka phambili ukuzinakekela kubaluleke kakhulu kulesi sigaba. Zinike noma yini oyidingayo ukuze udlule kulesi sikhathi esinzima futhi uthole ukuthula, injabulo, kanye nenjabulo futhi.
“Kubalulekile ukugxila kuwena ngemva kwesehlukaniso.Kulesi sikhathi, ubuhlobo bakho nawe bubaluleke kakhulu.Ngaso sonke isikhathi khumbula ukuthi awuyona ingxenye yobudlelwane kodwa ungumuntu ophelele futhi uzondle ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba ngokuzinakekela nokuzithanda,” kusho uPooja.
Ukuba nokuthula nawe kunganciphisa kakhulu isikhathi sokululama. Nazi ezinye izenzo zokuzinakekela ongakwazi ukuzifaka empilweni yakho ukuze ululame futhi uqhubeke ngokushesha:
- Gwema izindlela zokubhekana nezimo ezingenampilo ezifana nokubhema, ukuphuza ngokweqile, noma ukusebenzisa kabi izidakamizwa
- Ncika kwabathandekayo bakho ukuze uthole ukwesekwa nenduduzo
- Ungazihlukanisi
- Yidla ngendlela enempilo futhi unakekele impilo yakho
- Hlala usebenza, hlanganisa uhlobo oluthile lomsebenzi womzimba esimisweni sakho. Ama-Endorphin akhululwa ngesikhathi sokuzivocavoca angaba ikhambi elimangalisayo le-post-divorse blues
- Zijwayeze ukuqaphela nokubhala ukuze usebenze ngemizwa yakho engakhululekile mayelana nesehlukaniso
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Iseluleko Sochwepheshe - Isikhathi Sokuyeka Emshadweni
2. Dala ukulahlekelwa kwakho kodwa yazi ukuthi kufanele uyeke nini
Impilo yangemva kwesehlukaniso ingazizwa iwumxakaxaka ongapheli ogcwele ukusonteka nokujika okungenandlela yokuphuma. Okwenza izinto zibe zimbi kakhulu, awusenaye umuntu othandana naye obuyela emuva futhi ukuthole konke. Lokho kungaba indawo ethusayo nesizungu ongaba kuyo empilweni. Ingasaphathwa, ulahlekelwe isici esichazayo sempilo yakho. Lonke lolu shintsho nokungaqiniseki nakanjani kuzoletha imizwa eminingi engemihle kanye nemizwa engakhululekile.
Ungazivaleli noma uzicindezele ngoba udinga ukuba nesibindi. Akukho lutho olunesibindi ngokubalekela imizwa yakho, ukubhekana nayo nokuyimukela kuyisibindi sangempela. Ngakho-ke kulezo zinsuku zokuqala ngemva kwesehlukaniso, yamukela ukudabuka kwakho, usizi lwakho, umuzwa wakho wokulahlekelwa, ukudideka kwakho, ukwesaba kwakho, nanoma yini ongase uyizwe. Vumela konke kukugeze. Dlula kuzo zonke izigaba zosizi . Khala, khala, memeza, uma kudingeka.
Uma usuyicubungule yonke le mizwa, yamukela ukuthi umshado wakho usuyisahluko esivaliwe. Manje udinga ukuyeka ukubhixa futhi ugxile ekwakheni kabusha impilo yakho, isitini ngesitini. UPooja uyeluleka, “Ngisho noma uzikhumbula zonke izikhathi ezimnandi owaba nazo nomngane wakho womshado wangaphambili, funda ukujabula ngalezo zinkumbulo, ungagingqiki.
3. Lungisa uhlelo lwempilo yakho entsha
Ukwakha kabusha impilo yakho ngemva kwesehlukaniso empeleni kusho ukuqala phansi. Uma uhlukanisa izimpilo ezimbili osekunesikhathi eside zihlanganiswe, kungokwemvelo ukuthi ngeke uphume uphelele. Futhi asiqondile nje ngokomzwelo. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi umshado unjani, abantu abashadile bathembele komunye nomunye ngokuningi. Isehlukaniso sisho ukufunda ukuphila ngaphandle kwalolo hlelo lokusekela.
Isibonelo, uma ubheka ukuqhubeka ngemuva kwesehlukaniso njengowesifazane okungenzeka ukuthi ubeke umsebenzi wakhe emshadweni wakhe, kungase kudingeke uthole indlela yokuzimela ngokwezimali futhi. Mhlawumbe, thuthukisa amakhono akho noma uvuselele amakhono akho okuxhumana ukuze uthole umsebenzi, nokunye. Ngokufanayo, ukuqhubekela phambili ngemva kwesehlukaniso njengendoda kungase kusho ukuthwala imithwalo yemfanelo engaka umkakho ayeyithwele.
Isibonelo, uma ningabazali abahlukanisile futhi nikhulisa izingane ngokubambisana , kungadingeka ukuthi nibe nolwazi oluningi ngezinhlelo zezingane zenu, izifundo, izinhlelo zesikole, njalo njalo. Kusukela ekukhokheni izikweletu akudingeki uye ekuphatheni imisebenzi yasekhaya obuyidlulisela kalula kumlingani wakho, isehlukaniso singaba yisifundo sokufunda nokuyeka ukufunda. Yamukele.
3. Sika abantu abanobuthi empilweni yakho
Impilo ikunike ithuba lokuqala kabusha, futhi kungcono ukwenza kanjalo ngobuqotho. Njengoba uqhubeka phambili ngemva kwesehlukaniso, susa noma yibaphi abantu abanobuthi empilweni yakho. Sonke sinabantu empilweni yethu, ngesizathu esithile, ababonakala behlose ukusidumaza futhi bagcine besikhumbuza izimo esingathanda ukuzikhohlwa. Isibonelo, uma unquma ukuhamba ngemva kokungathembeki , ngeke ufune ukuthi abangani bakho abacatshangelwayo bakukhumbuze ngephutha lomlingani wakho njalo lapho bethola ithuba noma behleba ngakho.
Kunzima ngokwenele ukuqhubeka ngemuva kwesehlukaniso kanye neziqephu zokungathembeki, kodwa 'abangane' nomndeni obunobuthi bangenza kube kubi nakakhulu. Kungcono ukuwashiya ngemuva njengoba ugxile ekwelapheni nasekuqhubekeleni phambili. Ungahlala uthembele kumngane wakho omkhulu nabathandekayo bakho ukuthi bazokubona kulesi sikhathi esinzima. Vumela labo abangenazo izithakazelo zakho ezinhle ezinhliziyweni bawele endleleni.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Iseluleko Esingcono Kakhulu Sesehlukaniso Kwabesifazane
4. Ungavumeli iphathi yesihawu yesehlukaniso iqhubeke isikhathi eside
Ukuphela komshado akusikho ukuphela kwamathuba akho. Impela, kuyinto ebuhlungu kodwa awukwazi ukuqhubeka ugcwele imizwa emibi njengokuzidabukela, intukuthelo, noma intukuthelo. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ushade usemncane futhi awazi ukuthi impilo ngaphandle komlingani wakho izobukeka kanjani noma uhlukanisile uneminyaka engu-50 ngemva kokuchitha amashumi eminyaka nomlingani wakho, kungenzeka ukuthi uphinde wakhe impilo yakho kabusha.
Ngakho-ke yeka ukungena echibini lokukhathazeka, isihawu, kanye nemizwa yokungafaneleki. Ungaphezu kakhulu kobudlelwano obuhlulekile. Zimisele ukungazichazi ngesehlukaniso. Lokhu kubaluleke kakhulu endabeni yesehlukaniso esiphikisanayo, esingaba buhlungu kakhulu. Ekhuluma ngale ndaba, ummeli wesehlukaniso odumile uVandana Shah utshele iBonobology, “Udinga ukubheka impilo ngale kwenkantolo. Inqubo ingaqhubeka isikhathi eside kuye ngobunzima becala lakho, kodwa inqubo yakho yokuqhubeka kufanele iqale ngokushesha.”
5. Funda ukubeka imingcele enempilo ne-ex yakho
Ngokungafani nokuhlukana lapho abalingani benganqamula khona konke ukuxhumana bese behlukana ukuze bangaphinde bahlangane uma benquma kanjalo, ukunqamula ngokuphelele umlingani wakho wangaphambili empilweni yakho kungase kungabi yinto engokoqobo. Lokhu kuyiqiniso ikakhulukazi uma nikhulisana njengabazali abahlukanisile. Ezimweni ezinjengalezi, imingcele engemihle nowayengumkakhe noma umyeni wakho wangaphambilini ingalimaza inhlalakahle yakho engokomzwelo futhi kwenze kube nzima ngawe ukuqhubekela phambili.
Ekhuluma ngalolu daba, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esilulekayo uKavita Panyam ngaphambilini utshele iBonobology ukuthi, “Ngemva kwesehlukaniso sakho, ungumuntu wesithathu empilweni yowayengumlingani wakho. Ungazami ukuba ngumlingani wakhe uma ungaseyena umlingani noma umvumele adlale leyo ndima kowakho.”
Ngakho-ke, zinike isikhathi sokunquma ukuthi yimiphi imingcele ofuna ukuyibeka futhi uyidlulisele kowayeshade naye ngokucacile ngangokunokwenzeka. Yiba nesizotha kodwa ugomele, ukuze bathole umyalezo wokuthi udweba umugqa esihlabathini. Nazi ezinye izibonelo zemingcele enempilo ne-ex:
- Ngeke sikhulume ngomshado wethu - kungaba muhle, omubi, noma omubi
- Ucansi nanoma iyiphi ingxoxo emayelana nempilo yethu yocansi ayikho etafuleni
- Ngeke sisebenzise izingane zethu njengama-pawns ekuxabaneni kwethu
- Ngeke sisebenzise imibono yethu komunye nomunye ukuze sibe nethonya elibi ezinganeni zethu
- Ngeke sigxambukele empilweni yokujola noma ubudlelwano obusha
- Sizoxhumana ngemibhalo/ngama-imeyili ngokusemandleni ethu
- Sizogcina izingxoxo zethu ziyimfihlo; uma omunye wethu ecushiwe, sizoyimisa ingxoxo futhi siphinde sivakashele isihloko kamuva
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ungabhekana Kanjani Nesehlukaniso Njengendoda? – IZIMPENDULO ZOCHWEPHESHE
6. Siza izingane zakho zenze ukuthula nesehlukaniso
Isehlukaniso sabazali sidlula ezimpilweni zezingane njengesiphepho, siguqula wonke umhlaba wazo. Njengoba ulwa nobuhlungu bakho kanye nobunzima bakho, awukwazi ukungawunaki umthelela wesehlukaniso ezinganeni zakho . Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi unquma ukuba ngumzali noma ukubanika isiqinisekiso sokuthi nobabili nizohlala nikhona ngenxa yazo, nakanjani zizolwa nokwesaba nokungazethembi kwazo.
Njengomzali wabo, umthwalo wokwenza lolu shintsho lube lula kubo uphezu kwakho. Uma i-ex yakho ifuna ukukweseka kulokhu, kuhle futhi. Uma kungenjalo, kuzomele uzibambele mathupha ukuthi ubambe isandla sabo kulesi sikhathi esinzima nesisengozini yokuhlukumezeka emoyeni. Nazi ezinye izindlela ongasiza ngazo izingane zakho ukuthi zibhekane nedivosi yakho:
- Bakhuthaze ukuthi babelane nawe ngemicabango nemizwa yabo futhi bezwe ngaphandle kokwahlulela noma ukudumazeka
- Ungabenzi bazizwe sengathi badinga ukuchema noma ukukhetha phakathi kwabazali babo
- Chaza izizathu zedivosi ngendlela evumelana neminyaka yabo futhi ngaphandle kokwenza omunye umzali abonakale njengomuntu okhohlakele endabeni.
- Ungathathi intukuthelo noma ubhoke wena mathupha
- Hlela ukuthi bakhulume nomeluleki noma bathole usizo oludingekayo uma bedonsa kanzima ukuze bavumelane nezinguquko zomndeni.
7. Ukujoyina iqembu lokusekela kungakusiza uqhubekele phambili
Amaqembu okusekela anganikeza umbono odingeka kakhulu kanye nokuqinisekisa. Njengoba wabelana ngemicabango nemizwa yakho nabantu abanomqondo ofanayo, uyabona ukuthi imizabalazo yakho nokuhlangenwe nakho kwakho kuhlukanisiwe. Baningi kakhulu abanye laphaya esikebheni esisodwa nalabo osuwelele ngaphesheya. Laba bantu ngeke nje banikeze ukuqonda okubalulekile kokuthi ungaqhubeka kanjani nesehlukaniso kodwa futhi bakunikeze ithemba ngesikhathi esimnyama.
Ungacabanga ukuthola iqembu losekelo lendawo endaweni yangakini noma uhlole lezi zinketho eziku-inthanethi:
- CirclesUp – Iqembu eliholwa abelaphi
- Isehlukaniso Sabesifazane - Kwabesifazane abadivosile/abazodivosa maduze
- Isehlukaniso Samadoda - Ngokuqhubeka ngemuva kwesehlukaniso njengendoda
- Ukubuyiselwa Kwaphakathi Nempilo – Kwabadivosi abaneminyaka ephakathi
- SupportGroups – Kubazali abahlukanisile
8. Thola usizo kuchwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo
Inkinga enkulu njengokuqedwa komshado ingalimaza impilo yakho yengqondo. Eqinisweni, ukucindezeleka ngemva kwesehlukaniso kuyingozi yangempela. Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi abantu abahlukanisile banamathuba aphindwe kasithupha okuba nesiqephu sokucindezeleka kunabalingani babo abashadile.
“Noma yisiphi isenzakalo esibuhlungu sibeka impilo yakho yengqondo engcupheni futhi isehlukaniso ngokungangabazeki siyadabukisa. Kubalulekile ukuhlola ukuthi uzizwa kanjani ngokomzwelo, futhi uma kudingeka, xhumana nochwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo ukuze uthole usizo,” kweluleka uPooja. Uma unomuzwa wokuthi impilo yakho yengqondo ithintekile noma ukuthi ubhekene nobunzima bokuqhubeka nesehlukaniso, khumbula ukucela usizo akuyona isenzo sobuthakathaka noma into okufanele ube namahloni ngayo. Kuyindlela yokuzinakekela, futhi okungafanele uyigweme. Uma ufuna usizo, abeluleki abanekhono nabanolwazi kuphaneli yeBonobology balapha ukuze bakusize.
9. Funda ukuhlala ungashadile isikhashana
Umcabango wokuba ongashadile futhi ongenaye umlingani ungaba yinto esabekayo kumuntu ohlukanisile ngemuva kokuba sebudlelwaneni obude kodwa yilokho kanye okudingeka ukwenze. Kuvamile ukuzizwa unesizungu ngemva kwesehlukaniso kodwa ukungena emdlalweni wokuthandana ngokushesha ngemva kwesehlukaniso kungenza umonakalo omkhulu kunokuhle. Ukuze uqinisekise ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho besikhathi esizayo buphilile futhi abunazo imithwalo yesikhathi sakho esidlule, udinga ukuchitha isikhathi wedwa futhi ugxile ekuxazululeni usizi olungokomzwelo lomshado ohlulekile.
Kwezinye izimo, ukuthandana nomuntu ongathandani naye kungase kukusize uphinde uthole ubumnandi obukulahlekele, kodwa ungakubhejeli. Uma kungasebenzi, kungaholela ezinkingeni ezengeziwe! Yamukela umcabango wokuba wedwa futhi uzitholele wena ngaphandle kwezinduku zozakwethu. Unelungelo lokuthandana futhi ungene ebudlelwaneni obusha, kodwa ungakuvumeli kube ubudlelwano obubuyela emuva.
Izikhombi Ezibalulekile
- Ukuqhubekela phambili ngemuva kwesehlukaniso kungaba isiphakamiso esesabekayo
- Isikhathi sokululama sincike ezintweni eziningi - ubude bomshado wakho, izizathu zesehlukaniso, ukuqina kobudlelwano bakho, ukubala okumbalwa.
- Uhambo lomuntu ngamunye oluqhubekayo luhlukile
- Ungakwazi ukuvula ikhasi elisha ngokufunda ukuzenza kuqala, udabukise ukulahlekelwa kwakho, ugxile ekwakhiweni kabusha kwempilo yakho, ubeke imingcele enempilo nomuntu wangaphambili, futhi uthole usizo oludingekayo nokusekelwa.
Ukuqhubekela phambili ngemuva kwesehlukaniso kungaletha ezakho izinselelo, kodwa akukho ongeke ukwazi ukukunqoba. Impilo ingaphezu kobudlelwano futhi yilokho okudingeka ukukhumbule njengoba uphinda ucosha imicu yempilo yakho futhi uzilungiselele ukufuna uthando futhi.
Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa
Ungaqhubeka nokuphila ngemva kwesehlukaniso ngokwenza isiqalo esisha maqondana nomsebenzi kanye nobudlelwano. Ungathwali umthwalo wesikhathi esidlule futhi ulungele okuhlangenwe nakho okusha. Zihlukanise nanoma yibaphi abantu abangase babe nethonya elibi empilweni yakho, kuhlanganise nowakwakho. Gxila esikhathini esizayo futhi ufunde ukuhlala nawe ngaphambi kokuba ungene kobunye ubuhlobo.
Kuncike ezimweni zesehlukaniso sakho. Uma uphuthume isehlukaniso sakho ngaphandle kokucabanga ngemiphumela futhi uma impilo yakho yangemva kwesehlukaniso inzima, khona-ke ungase uzisole ngokushada ngokushesha. Kungcono uthole uhlu lokuhlola isehlukaniso uma ucabanga isehlukaniso.
Alukho ucwaningo olusho ngokuqiniseka ukuthi yiliphi iphesenti lemibhangqwana elibuyayo ngemva kwesehlukaniso. Kunezimo lapho umbhangqwana ohlukanisile ushada futhi ukuze uhlukane futhi.
Yebo, uzophinde ujabule ngokuphelele! Uma uzimisele ukushiya okwedlule ngemuva, wamukele ubusha bakho futhi ufune okuhlangenwe nakho okusha, ungajabula ngemva kwesehlukaniso. Ingqondo onayo ngenkathi usondela ukuthi uqhubeka kanjani ngemuva kwesehlukaniso uzonquma ukuthi uzophinde ujabule kanjani futhi. Ungavumeli okwedlule kukuthene amandla, funda kukho futhi ukhule!
Izimpawu Eziyi-12 Eziyisixwayiso Umlingani Wakho Ulahlekelwa Isithakazelo Ebudlelwaneni
Izinto Ezingu-8 Okufanele Uzenze Lapho I-Ex Ikuthinta Ngemva kweminyaka
Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
