Ungazihlukanisa Kanjani Ngokomzwelo Kothile - Izindlela Eziyi-10

Ukuhlukaniswa ebudlelwaneni - noma umuzwa oshaqisayo wokushiya - kuvame kakhulu kunalokho ocabanga ngakho. Imibhangqwana eminingi iye yabhekana nombuzo onzima othi "Ungazihlukanisa kanjani nomuntu?" ngemva kokwehluleka ukuvuselela isibopho sabo. Ubudlelwano obonakele abufani nesikhumba esibi noma izinwele umuntu azithungela isicwebezelisi esisheshayo. Ngezinye izikhathi, ivele ibune, idale indawo yalesi sidingo sokuhlukaniswa. 

Nokho, ngemva kokuchitha isikhathi esiningi ndawonye, ​​kunzima ngabantu ababili ukushiya yonke into ngemuva. Awukho umbono owodwa noma impendulo ye-vanilla yokuthi ungazihlukanisa kanjani nomuntu. Impendulo yalo mbuzo onzima inzima. Kodwa-ke, sizoqala ukubheka izinketho zethu - ngizokusiza ukuthi uqaqe imfihlakalo yokuthi ungazihlukanisa kanjani ngokomzwelo nomuntu.  

Yini Ebangela Ukuhlukana Kwemizwelo? 

Kodwa okokuqala, kuyini ukuhlukaniswa ngokomzwelo ebuhlotsheni? Kunezindlela ezimbalwa zokuyichaza kanye nezizathu ezimbalwa ezidingekayo. Kungaba ukufa okumangalisayo kwemizwelo yakho. Noma ngisho nokuntula uthando noma ukusondelana. Kungase futhi kube nesethi yemithetho eyisisekelo yakho ukuze ugweme ingcindezi engadingeki, intukuthelo, ukucasuka, nokudumala. Kungase futhi kusho ukugwema umlingani wakho ngokuqondile - phezu kwezingcingo, i-imeyili, nombhalo - yonke indawo.

Ngamafuphi, ukuhlukaniswa ngokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni kubhekisela esimweni lapho umuntu ezihlukanisa ngokomzwelo nomlingani wakhe noma othandekayo wakhe. Lokhu kungenziwa ngamabomu, isibonelo, lapho umuntu kumelwe azijwayeze ukuhlukaniswa emshadweni ongasebenzi. Noma ngokungazithandeli, isibonelo, lapho ephelelwa uthando kancane kancane nothile. Kudala ibanga elingokwengqondo futhi kunciphisa ukuqina kokuxhumana ngokomzwelo. Lena indlela yokubhekana nesimo ukuze uzivikele ebuhlungwini, ekudumazekeni, noma emuzweni wokuba sengozini.

Ukuhlukaniswa kwemizwelo akukhona ukuntula imizwa noma ukukhanda ngamatshe. Akusho ukuntula uzwela okukhulu. Ukumane uzibeke wena kuqala kunanoma ubani omunye. Ukuhlukana kwemizwa kungase kungasho njalo ukuvalelisa uzakwethu. Kungase kuhlanganise ukuthola ukuthi yikuphi ukuziphatha okukhululekile kuwe ngokujwayelekile noma ukubeka imingcele yemizwa ebudlelwaneni. Abanye abantu bangase bakuthole kungenanhlonipho uma uzihlukanisa ngokuzithandela. Kodwa-ke, kungani futhi uhlukana kanjani ngokomzwelo nomuntu kuzoba yisinqumo sakho kuphela. 

Izimpawu Sekuyisikhathi Sokuhlukana Nothile 

Ukubona izimpawu eziyisixwayiso ezikutshela ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokuhlukana nomuntu ngokomzwelo kungaba inselele impela. Kodwa kuyisinyathelo esibalulekile ekubekeni phambili inhlalakahle yakho, ukuqapha impilo yakho yengqondo, nokuzigcina uphephile ebuhlotsheni obunobuthi. Nakuba isimo ngasinye sihlukile, kunezici eziningi ezisikisela isidingo sokudala ibanga elingokomzwelo. Ukwazi ngazo kungakunika amandla okwenza izinguquko ezidingekayo ekukhuleni kwakho kanye nempilo engokomzwelo.

Nazi izimpawu ezimbalwa ezikhombisa ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokuhlukana nomuntu:

1. Ukungabi negativity okuqhubekayo: Uma lowo muntu ehlala eletha ukungaboni ngaso linye empilweni yakho, ekugxeka noma ekululaza, futhi ekuqeda amandla ngaphandle kokukunikeza ukwesekwa noma ukuqiniseka, indlela engcono kakhulu yokuphuma kungaba ukudedela ngenkathi unakekela impilo yakho.
2. Ukungabi nenhlonipho: Uma lowo muntu ehlala edelela imingcele yakho, izindinganiso, noma imizwelo yakho, futhi ebonisa ukungayinaki inhlalakahle yakho, kuwuphawu lokuthi unomlingani onobuthi. Ukuhlukana nobudlelwano kuleli cala kuyisinqumo esifanele
3. Umzamo wohlangothi olulodwa: Uma uzithola utshala isikhathi esiningi, amandla, kanye nomzamo ebudlelwaneni kunomunye umuntu, ngaphandle kokuthola ukusekelwa okuphindaphindiwe noma umzamo, kungase kube uphawu lokuguquguquka okungalingani. Azikho izinto eziningi ezimbi njengokuhlala endaweni ubudlelwano obungalingani
4. Izinkinga zokuthembela: Uma umuntu ephula kaningi ukwethemba kwakho, eqamba amanga, noma ezibandakanya ekuziphatheni okukhohlisayo, kunomthelela omkhulu omubi ebudlelwaneni. Kwakha indawo yokuzalela yezinkinga zobudlelwano, okwenza kube inselele ukugcina ukuxhumana okunempilo
5. Ukulimala ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba: Uma ubudlelwano bubangela ukucindezeleka ngokomzwelo, ukukhathazeka, noma ukulimala ngokomzimba ngaso sonke isikhathi, kubalulekile ukubeka phambili ukuphepha kwakho nokuphila kahle ngokuba nemingcele ecacile ehlobene nobudlova, ukuxhashazwa ngokomzwelo, noma ukuhlushwa kwengqondo. Funa usizo lochwepheshe uma ubhekene nokuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo. Ungangabazi ukuxhumana nenombolo yocingo yokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba uma uzithola usengozini. Uma kungenjalo, lokhu kuziphatha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi kungathuthuka kube yizimo ezibucayi zempilo yengqondo kumuntu ohlukunyeziwe
6. Ukuntuleka kokukhula: Lokhu kungase futhi kube isizathu sokuzihlukanisa nomuntu. Uma ubudlelwano buthiya ukukhula kwakho komuntu siqu, bukhawulela amandla akho, noma bukuvimbela ekuphishekeleni izinhloso namaphupho akho, kungaba yisikhathi sokuzihlukanisa futhi ugxile ekuthuthukisweni kwakho.
7. Ukukhipha amandla: Uma ukuchitha isikhathi nabo kukushiya ukhathele, ukhandlekile, noma uphelelwa amandla ngokomzwelo, kuphakamisa ukuthi ubudlelwano kungenzeka abusakusizi. Kufanele ube nokusondelana okunempilo nomlingani wakho othandana naye esikhundleni sokuphila nobuhlungu bomzwelo noma ngisho nesithukuthezi empilweni yakho kuze kube phakade.
8. Ukungqubuzana njalo: Uma izingxabano nezingxabano kuyisici esiyinhloko sobudlelwano esikubangela ukuthi uhlale ukhathazekile, futhi imizamo yokuxazulula izinkinga ngokuvamile ingasebenzi noma ingeyesikhashana, ukuhlukanisa kungase kube umsebenzi onzima kodwa kuyadingeka.
9. Ukulahleka kobunikazi: Uma ubudlelwano bunciphisa umuzwa wakho wobuwena, ubuwena, kanye nokuzimela, khona-ke ukuqaphela isidingo sokuzihlukanisa, ukudedela, kanye nokuphinda uthole ubuwena kungase kube into engcono kakhulu. Ungase zama ukudlula umlingani wakho njengoba ukuzethemba kwakho kungase kungabi sesimweni esihle, kodwa uzofika lapho kancane
10. Ukuzizwa kwamathumbu: Uma unomuzwa obeleselayo wokuthi kukhona okungalungile ebudlelwaneni bakho, themba umuzwa wakho wemvelo! Kungase kube inkomba yokuthi ungase unciphise imizwa noma usondele kude nokunamathiselwe ngokomzwelo. Abantu abahlukene banamandla ahlukene okuqaphela izwi ngaphakathi, futhi kungase kudingeke uthuthukise eyakho futhi uzenzele izinqumo ezingcono.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene : Izinyathelo Ezi-6 Okufanele Uzithathe Uma Uzizwa Uvaleleke Ebudlelwaneni

Ungazihlukanisa Kanjani Kumuntu Omthandayo Ngokujulile - Izindlela Eziyi-10

Kungashiwo ukuthi ukudeda kumuntu kwenziwa ngezigaba eziningi. Okokuqala, udinga ukuba nesiqiniseko ngesinqumo sakho sokuhoxa, bese wenza icebo ukuze uphile. Ngoba ngeke kube lula ukuba wedwa ngokuzumayo ngemva kokwabelana ngesikhala esibalulekile ebudlelwaneni. Ukuzihlukanisa ngokomzwelo noma ngokomzimba kuyisinqumo esinengqondo. Ngakho, ungagxumeli kukho. Ake sibheke izindlela ezimbalwa zokuzihlukanisa nomuntu.

1. Zibuze yonke imibuzo ebalulekile ngaphambi kokuhoxa kumlingani wakho

Uma uthola ukuthi ungahlukana kanjani, hlola ubuhlobo bakho kuqala. Cabanga ngazo zonke izikhathi ezinhle nezimbi, izikhathi zenjabulo, izikhathi ezijabulisayo, kanye nezidabukisayo ezikubeke onqenqemeni lokuhlukana nobuhlobo. Yima kulelo dwala bese ubheka kahle. Ingabe usezihlolile ngokomzwelo? Noma ingabe useyekile ukuba seduze kwakho? Uma ubona ukushona kwelanga okuqinisekile, kusho ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokuzibeka phambili ukuze uvuke ube nekusasa elingcono.

Imibuzo ozibuza yona izokusiza ukuthi ufunde ukuhlukana nomuntu ngokomzwelo. Udinga ukuqonda isikhundla sakho ngaphambi kokuthi uqale ukukhipha ngokomzwelo kothandekayo oxhumene naye emazingeni amaningi. Kucabange njengomshini obhajwe odinga ukucishwa ngokucophelela hhayi ngokudonsa ipulaki bese ubeka engcupheni umonakalo. Akusona isinqumo esilula ukuma kancane ukuthanda umuntu osumjwayele. Uma usuyidlulisile yonke imibuzo, usulungele ukuthatha isinyathelo sokuqala sokuhlukana nomuntu omthanda ngokujulile.

2. Yenza uhlelo lokuphuma

Lapho ufunda ukuhlukanisa, udinga ukuba nohlelo lokuphuma endaweni. Lesi isinyathelo esilandelayo ezindleleni eziqinisekisiwe zokuzihlukanisa ngokomzwelo. Uke wacabanga ukuthi uhlose ukuqala kanjani ukuqhubeka noma ukuthatha ikhefu obulifisa? Uzokwenzani ukuze uthole ukwesekwa - uzojoyina ikilasi lokuzilibazisa, ufunde ikhono elisha, noma ufune ukwesekwa emaqenjini enzelwe lezi zinhloso?

Kubalulekile ukuthi le ngxenye yokuhlukaniswa kwemizwelo ihlanganiswe. Lesi isinyathelo esibaluleke kakhulu. Ukuphuma ebudlelwaneni ngaphandle kwecebo kufana nokufaka isandla sakho esihlahleni samarose esigcwele ameva. Uzolimala futhi usezinhlungwini. Lolu hlelo lokuphuma ngenkathi uzihlukanisa nobudlelwano lubalulekile ngoba luphinde lubonise ukuthi ziyini izidingo zakho zomzwelo. Udinga ukuthola indlela yokucisha labo ngoba ngeke ube nomlingani wakho eduze. Lezi zinyathelo ezimbili zokuqala zizokusiza ukuthi uhlukane nomuntu ngaphandle kokwazi.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene : Indlela Yokushiya Ubuhlobo Obunobuthi – Yazi Kuchwepheshe

3. Zola lapho wabelana nomlingani wakho ngalesi sinqumo

Sekuzoba nzima kakade uma unquma ukuzihlukanisa nomlingani wakho. Kukhona ithuba lokuthi izingxoxo ezishisayo ziqale. Umlingani wakho angase abe nemibuzo eminingi - futhi yonke kufanele iphendulwe. Kodwa-ke, hlala uqaphile ngenkathi uphendula imibuzo yomlingani wakho mayelana nesinqumo sakho sokuhoxa. Zijwayeze ukuqaphela - funda ukuthi ungasabela kanjani lapho oshade naye ekhuluma izinto ezibuhlungu . Noma kungenza isimo sibe sibi.

Kungase kuthathe isikhathi ukuthi udlulisele isidingo sokuhlukana ngokomzwelo kumlingani wakho. Lapho usuwenza ekugcineni, bangase babe nomuzwa wokuthi abakwazanga ukwanelisa izidingo zakho ezingokomzwelo nezingokwenyama. Udinga ukubaqondisa esinqumweni sakho, futhi ulungele ukwamukela impendulo engeyinhle evela esiphethweni sabo. Ngoba akukhona okwakho ukubakholisa. Kufanele uqiniseke ngesinqumo sakho. Akudingi ukuqinisekiswa. 

4. Zama ukugwema ukuya ocansini

Ngaphandle kokufuna ibanga elingokomzwelo, ungase uzibuze ukuthi ungaziqhelelanisa kanjani nomuntu ngokocansi ukuze udlulele esahlukweni esilandelayo. Umuntu kufanele acabange kabili ngaphambi kokuya ocansini kulesi sigaba sokuhlukaniswa. Ezimweni eziningi, kunconywa ukuthi ugweme ukuya nabo ocansini ngokuphelele njengoba kungase kubangele ukuhlukana kwakho kube nzima. Ngiqonda ngokugcwele ukuthi ungase ubhekane nobunzima ngenkathi uthola ukuthi ungazihlukanisa kanjani nomuntu ngokocansi.

Ucansi, phela, luyisifiso somzimba. Ukuze uluqede, khulisa umsebenzi wakho wokuzivocavoca. Faka ukushaya indlwabu ohlelweni lwakho ukuze ukhululeke. Kuyisimo esiyisisekelo somuntu futhi akukho okufanele ube namahloni ngaso. Futhi ukuze uthole usizo olwengeziwe, kunezindlela eziningana zokuthi cha ocansini - ungasebenzisa ezinye!

5. Nqamula ukuthintana ezinkundleni zokuxhumana ukuze uhlukane nemizwa kumlingani wakho

Ukuwanqamula ezinkundleni zokuxhumana kuyithiphu yethu ephuthuma kakhulu yokuthi ungazihlukanisa kanjani nomuntu omthandayo. Udinga ukuyeka ukubalandela ezinkundleni zokuxhumana njengoba ungafuni ukuthi izibuyekezo zabo zezempilo ezincane zonakalise usuku lwakho. Kwesinye isikhathi, kungalimaza kakhulu ukubona umuntu eqhubekela phambili futhi kungakhinyabeza ukuqhubeka kwakho kweqembu. Uma ubulokhu uzizwa unesifiso sokuvakashela ama-akhawunti abo ezinkundla zokuxhumana, yima kancane. Cabanga ukuthi kungani uqale ukukhipha ngokomzwelo ebuhlotsheni futhi uzothola injongo. 

U-Issa Rae, uthisha wesikole esiphakathi, owayenqume ukuthatha ikhefu esokeni lakhe, u-Shiloh, wayekhathazwa ezinsukwini zakhe ezimbalwa zokuqala zokuhlukaniswa. "Kwakubheda kithina. Sase sincike kakhulu komunye nomunye kukho konke. Kwakungewona umqondo wokuba iyunithi, kodwa ukuzondla sodwa. Ngakho-ke sanquma ukuthi sime kancane futhi sinqobe lokhu kuziphatha. Kwabonakala kulungile. Nokho, phakathi nezinsuku ezimbalwa, ngazithola sengimcuphile ezinkundleni zokuxhumana," esho.

Uthe uzozama ukumlandela, abone ukuthi ubenesikhathi esimnandi yini ngesikhathi sokuhlukana kwabo ngokomzwelo. "Kwakungicasula. Kwadingeka ngixhumane nabangane ukuze nginciphise ukukhathazeka kwami. Kwasiza. Ukuma ngokuphelele ekulandeleni kubaluleke kakhulu ukuze uthole ukuthi umi kuphi endizeni yemizwa," esho.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Kungani Ngilandela Owayengumlingani Wami Ezinkundleni Zokuxhumana? – Uchwepheshe Utshela Okufanele Akwenze

6. Thulula isifuba kothandekayo

Umngane weqiniso. Kwesinye isikhathi, umuntu osondelene nawe angakukhombisa ukuthi uhlukane kanjani nomuntu uma ubhekene nobunzima. Umngane angakunikeza umbono omusha futhi angakukhumbuza umgomo wawo wonke umsebenzi. Kungase ngisho kuphazamise isidingo sokuhlukaniswa. Kubalulekile ukuba nesistimu yokusekela phakathi nale nqubo. Uma lokhu kungasebenzi nabantu empilweni yakho ngoba besondelene nowayenguzakwethu, xhumana nabangane bakho bakudala, thola abangani abasha, noma ujoyine amaqembu okusekela.

Ukuba wedwa ngenkathi ufunda ukuthi ungazehlukanisa kanjani nomuntu omthandayo kufana nokukhetha usizi olungadingekile. Uzolahlekelwa umuzwa wokuba lapho uhlukana ngokuzumayo. Uhlelo lokusekela lwabangane, amalungu omndeni, kanye nosizo lochwepheshe lungakuqinisekisa ezinsukwini zakho ezinzima. Futhi uma usenethemba lokubuyela kumuntu owawuthandana naye, khona-ke kunethuba elincane lokuthi ukuchitha isikhathi nabangani kungathuthukisa ubudlelwano bakho.

7. Gcina ijenali yemicabango yakho ngenkathi uzihlukanisa nozakwenu

Uma ufuna izindlela eziqinisekisiwe zokuzinqanda ngokomzwelo, ukubhala izindaba kuwumkhuba omuhle wansuku zonke. Isiza umuntu ukuthi abhale imicabango yakhe. Kungasiza umuntu ukuba aziqonde kangcono yena uqobo. Isibonelo, umuntu angahlala ephenya amakhasi ambalwa ukuze abone ukuthi basabele kanjani esimweni esithile noma babonise ukukhula kwemicabango yabo - kusukela lapho azi ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokushiya ubudlelwano esimweni samanje. Ukubhala ijenali kungasiza futhi uma uzama ukufunda ukuthi uphuma kanjani kumuntu othile.

Kubalulekile ukuhlela uhambo lokuhlukaniswa kwemizwelo. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ungakwazi ukuvala inqubekelaphambili yakho - hlola ukuthi uya endaweni efanele yini noma ukuthi uqhuba kanjani nalelo qembu elingokomzwelo. Le micabango, uma iphokophele ohlangothini olungafunwa, ingasetshenzwa ngaso sonke isikhathi.

8. Ungazihlukanisa kanjani ngokomzwelo nomuntu ohlala naye? Prakthiza ukuqaphela

Ngaphambi kokuba sigxile ekubalulekeni kwakho ekuhlukaneni nomuntu, ake siqonde ukuthi kuyini ukuqaphela. Kumayelana nokuba khona ngokugcwele, ukuqaphela izenzo zethu, kanye nomzamo esiwenzayo ukuze singakhungatheki. Awucabangi ukuthi lesi senzo esihle singakusiza phakathi nalolu shintsho olunzima?

Zama ukuqaphela konke okwenzayo ngemva kokuhlukana nomuntu ngokomzwelo. Udinga ukuqonda isisusa sezenzo zakho ngokuqaphela njalo imigomo yakho yokugcina. Ukuqaphela ngeke nje kukusize usinde ekuhlukaneni kwakho ngokomzwelo kodwa kuzokubeka esimweni esingcono okuzokwenza ukwazi ukumelana nanoma yiziphi izinhlekelele zangaphakathi ezingase zenzeke esikhathini esizayo. Ukuze unqobe umuntu ombona nsuku zonke , udinga ukuzijwayeza okuncane kulesi sici. Ngakho-ke, usuku ngalunye ngesikhathi.

9. Zindla lapho uzama ukunqamula

Izinzuzo zokuzindla zivame ukuncishiswa. Ukuzindla kungasiza ekutholeni umbono omusha ngezimo ezicindezelayo, ukwakha amakhono okuphatha ukucindezeleka kwakho, nokwandisa ukuzazi, ngokusho kweMayo Clinic . Ungase uzizwe ucindezelekile ngenkathi uzama ukuthola indlela yokuziqhelelanisa nothile. Kulesi sikhathi esinzima, ukuzindla kungakusiza.

UGia, umhlaziyi wezamabhizinisi, wathi wazizwa engcono ngokushesha lapho ecindezela ukuzindla ohlelweni lwakhe. Wayethathe ikhefu kumlingani wakhe, uJulia. Ekuqaleni, wayekuthola kunzima ukubhekana nemicabango yakhe. Wanconywa umeluleki wakhe ukuthi athathe amakilasi okuzindla. 

Uthi: “Kwasebenza, ukufuna ukwehlukana nobuhlobo kwakungelula neze kimi. Ngangihlale ngikhathazeka ngokuthi uJulia uzoshintsha bese mina ngisala ngemuva. Ukuzihlalela okunobuthi neminye imicabango eminingi kwangena engqondweni yami. Kodwa izinyanga ezimbili zokuzindla njalo zangisiza ukuba ngingene enkingeni yemicabango yami.”

Ukufunda Okuhlobene : Izindlela Eziyi-9 Zokuzijwayeza Ukuqaphela Ebudlelwaneni Obuseduze

10. Umelaphi uzokusiza ukuthi uqonde ukuthi ungazihlukanisa kanjani nomuntu

Naphezu kokwenza isinqumo sokusuka komunye umuntu, ungase uzithole uxhumene naye ngaphakathi. Ukukhipha kungase kubonakale kunzima kakhulu kunalokho okwakubonakala ekuqaleni. Kwenzeka uma wabelana ngesibopho esijulile nomuntu. Nokho, usizo alukaze lube kude kakhulu uma ukhungatheka. 

Umeluleki onelayisensi uzokusiza ufunde ukuthi ungazehlukanisa kanjani nothile. Bazokuqondisa isinyathelo ngesinyathelo ekuzivuseleleni. Bazokusiza ukuthi wenze izinqumo ezinzima eziletha ukwehlukana okuphelele. Ngakho-ke, uma uzizwa ulahlekile, ungakhuluma nomunye wabeluleki abanelayisensi eqenjini lochwepheshe beBonobology.

Kusobala ukuthi sifuna ukuhlukana ngokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni lapho sinenkinga. Umuntu angase azizwe enecala ngisho nokufuna ukuhlukana ngokomzwelo. Nokho, zikhumbuze ukuthi kungani unqume ukuhoxa kwasekuqaleni. Kuzosebenza njengesikhumbuzo esisha sokuthi kungani udinga ukushiya izinto ezithile empilweni yakho esikhundleni sokubola ezimeni ongakaze uzibhalisele.

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