Wake waba nobunye balobo busuku lapho izinkumbulo zesithandwa sakho sangaphambili zigijimela kuwe, zikushiye ungakwazi ukulala isikhashana? Ubanjwa uphenduphenduka, ulangazelela nokukhala. Ukuhlaziya kakhulu okwenzile okungalungile nokubukela phansi okwenzile kahle. Ubusuku bangemva kokuhlukana bokuphelelwa yithemba obufana nalaba banele ukwenza noma ubani afune ukuthola ukuthi angazisula kanjani izinkumbulo.
Ngokungangabazeki, ukuhlukana kunzima kuwo wonke umuntu ohilelekile. Nokho, uma okuwukuphela kwento esele ebuhlotsheni izinkumbulo obambelele kuzo ngokuphila kwakho, ukuqhubeka kubonakala kuwumsebenzi ongenakwenzeka, njengokungathi kuyinto ongeke ukwazi ukuyifinyelela.
Ngakho-ke, wenza kanjani ngokusula umuntu enkumbulweni yakho? Uma usuqede yonke enye inqwaba yobufakazi bobudlelwano obukhona, uphunyuka kanjani ezinkumbulo ezilokhu zihlupha ingqondo yakho? Ake sixoxe ngokuthi ngabhekana kanjani nezinkumbulo ngemva kokuhlukana nokuthi ngenzeni ukuze ngiqhubeke.
Uzisula Kanjani Izinkumbulo: I-Bout Yami Nge-Post-Breakup Stress
Okuqukethwe
Ebudlelwaneni bami bokugcina, kwakukhona izipho eziningi ezathunyelwa kimi kuye iminyaka emibili. Ezinye zazo zazinobungani kodwa zivuthiwe ngemizwa - amakhadi athambile, ama-rose abomvu kanye nezesekeli. Ezinye kwakuyizingubo zomklami, amagajethi, isikhwama se-Fendi, i-Burberry clutch, iwashi le-Omega, uhlamvu lwemali lwegolide oluqoshwe ngezithombe zethu ezinezithembiso zothando lwaphakade.
Kancane kancane? Bengingakakutsheli nangendandatho yedayimane. Masingakhohlwa ezinye izinto ezifana nebhuku lomlando elakhiwe ngobunyoninco - kusukela ngesikhathi ethi 'sawubona' kuze kube yileso sikhathi ebuhlotsheni bethu, into eyangithatha isonto lonke ukuyihlanganisa nokudweba.
Cishe unyaka nesigamu sithandana lapho kuqala isiyaluyalu, ngikhumbula ngimtshela ukuthi “noma yini oyenzayo, ngithembise ukuthi ngeke ukulahle noma yini engikunike yona. Wathi uzothumela yonke into emuva kodwa ngamethembisa ukuthi ngeke acabange ukwenza into enjalo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kwenzekani phakathi kwethu.
Mhlawumbe wenza leso sithembiso ngesikhathi kusashisa. Kodwa ngangingeke ngikwazi ukuba naye isikhathi eside ngokwanele ukuze ngithole ukuthi wayesigcinile ngempela yini, ngokungafani nezinye izithembiso zakhe. Ngalahlwa ngobusuku obubodwa ngemva kwezinyanga eziyisithupha, ngazithola ngivalekile ngokuphazima kweso. Ngaleso sikhathi, ukucabanga ngezinto ezibonakalayo kwakuyinto encane kunazo zonke engangikhathazeke ngayo.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izindlela Eziyi-10 Zokubhekana Nobuhlungu Benhliziyo
Ukubhekana nezinkumbulo kwakuyingxenye enzima kakhulu
Ngangingenandaba nemali engangiyisebenzisa ezintweni engangimnika zona. Nokho, umngane wami omkhulu wasikisela ukuba ngimthumelele umyalezo ngicela abuyise konke engangimnike kona. Ngamtshela ukuthi noma yini engangimnike yona noma engimenzele yona ngangiyintandokazi yami futhi ngenxa yothando lwami ngaye, abukho ubugovu obuhilelekile kunoma yiziphi izenzo zami.
"Izinkumbulo ziyaphela uma udala ezintsha ezibaluleke kakhulu."
Ngihlala ngithembekile kuthando lwami olungenathemba , ngathola induduzo emcabangweni wokuthi mhlawumbe lezo zinto zizoqhubeka zimkhumbuza mina. Umngane wami wabe esebuza ukuthi ngizokwenzenjani ngezinto anginike zona, ngaqala ukucabanga. Ngaphandle kwe-lip balm engingazange ngiyisebenzise ngokwesaba ukuyilahla lapho isiqediwe, ibha yetshokolethi engazange iphume efrijini elijulile kanye namathikithi e-movie yokuqala esiyibonile ndawonye, angizange ngithole lutho oluvela kuye ngomqondo wezinto ezibonakalayo.
Ekuqaleni, kwangijabulisa, kodwa lapho ngiqaphela, ngatshela umngane wami ukuthi bekuyoba ngcono ukuba ngithole izinto ezivela kuye ngoba bekuzoba lula ukuzilahla kodwa enginakho kubi kakhulu - izinkumbulo zakhe! Ukuthola indlela yokukhohlwa izinkumbulo zomuntu owake wathandana naye kube nzima kunalokho engangikulindele.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ingabe sihlala sidinga ukuvalwa?
Ubalekela kanjani izinkumbulo ngemva kokuhlukana?
Kulula uma kuqhathaniswa ukulahla izinto ezibonakalayo kodwa kunzima kakhulu ukususa umuntu engqondweni yakho ngokuphelele. Uyisula kanjani inkumbulo yomuntu? Nokho, okungenani amamuvi abonakala enza kangcono kunathi. KuThe Eternal Sunshine of A Spotless Mind, uJim Carrey kanye no-Kate Winslet bazisula ezinkumbulo zomunye nomunye besebenzisa inqubo yomshini, futhi ngaleso sikhathi ngangifuna ukuthi lokhu kube yingxenye yomhlaba wangempela. Nokho, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ngabona ukuthi izinto ogcina usuzenzela zona zikwenza ube umuntu onamandla, umuntu ongcono.
Ngaleso sikhathi ngenhliziyo ebuhlungu, ngasusa zonke izithombe zakhe, amanothi ezwi, izingxoxo - ubufakazi bobunye kanye nesibopho esasinaso, ngazi ukuthi naye wayesenze okufanayo kudala. Njengoba ama-MRI scan ebonisa lapho ebhekene nezikhumbuzo zowayengumlingani wakho, ingqondo yakho isebenzisa izindawo ezifanayo ezibangela ubuhlungu obungokomzimba ngaleyo ndlela ikwenze welulame. Noma yimuphi umkhondo wowayengumlingani wakho empilweni yakho uzokulimaza futhi uphazamise ukuthula kwengqondo, okudingayo kakhulu esigabeni sangemva kokuhlukana.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimpawu Ezingu-21 Zokuthi Kufanele Uhlukane Nomuntu Oyedwa
Ukuthola ukuthi ungazisula kanjani izinkumbulo zomuntu owake wathandana naye kungenye yezinto ezinzima kakhulu ongayenza. Kwesinye isikhathi, asinamandla ngokwanele ukuthi singasusa yonke into. Ikakhulukazi emhlabeni wanamuhla lapho izinkumbulo eziningi zilele kuma-hard drive namaselula ekhompuyutha yethu. Kulungile ukuba buthaka okwesikhashana njengoba singabantu phela futhi ubuntu obusenza sikwazi ukuthanda indlela esenza ngayo.
Ezimweni ezinjalo, nokho, ngiphakamisa ukukhiya wonke amarekhodi e-elekthronikhi noma uwadlulisele kwenye idrayivu ehlukile bese uyidlulisela kumngane eneziyalezo zokuthi ungawabuyiseli kuwena kuze kube yilapho usuqine ngokwanele ukubhekana nesikhathi esidlule esibuhlungu futhi.
Uzisula Kanjani Izinkumbulo Ze-Ex Yakho Ngemva Kokuhlukana
Uma ufuna impendulo yokuthi “ungamsusa kanjani umuntu enkumbulweni yakho?”, iseluleko esingcono kakhulu umuntu angakunika sona ukulandela umthetho wokungathintani ngenkolo. Cabanga ngakho, ungalindela kanjani ukuqhubeka, uma ulinde ukuthi lowo owayethandana naye aphendule, uzilahlekisela njalo emaphusheni asemini ngokuchitha isikhathi naye?
Inqubo "yokukhohlwa" ngowayekade ekhona futhi unqamule othintana naye kulula ukukusho kunokukwenza. Kodwa uma ubusuku bakho busuka ekugqolozeleni isikrini sefoni yakho, silinde ukuthi sikhanyise ngesaziso esivela kowayekade ewushade naye sokugcina ifoni yakho ikude ukuze uthole ukuphumula, uzozibonga ngakho.
Ngeshwa, asiphili endaweni yonke ethi The Eternal Sunshine of A Spotless Mind , futhi impendulo kuphela yokuthi "ungamsusa kanjani owayeshade naye enkumbulweni yakho" iwukuphishekela amadlelo aluhlaza, ngaphandle kokubheka emuva njalo ukuze ubone ukuthi labo obashiye ngemuva banjani. Gcina ibanga lakho nowayeshade naye, gxila kuwe futhi ungavumeli ingqondo yakho ikuqinisekise ukuthi ngeke uphinde uthole uthando. Ngemva kwesikhathi esifanele lapho usuthandane nomuntu omusha, uzobheka emuva uhleke ukuthi ubucabanga ukuthi uzohlala udabukile kangakanani.
Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa
Abantu badlula usizi ngejubane labo. Nakuba singekho ngempela isikhathi esiqondile sokuthi kuzothatha isikhathi esingakanani ukubaleka izinkumbulo ngemva kokuhlukana, kungase kuthathe umuntu noma kuphi phakathi kwenyanga kuya eminyakeni embalwa. Kuye ngokuhlukana, izinto ozenzayo ukuze uzisize uqhubekele phambili, kanye nesikhathi sobudlelwane, isikhathi esisithathayo ukukhohlwa othile singahluka.
Uma ufuna ukuthola ukuthi ungazikhohlwa kanjani izinkumbulo ze-ex yakho, kufanele uyeke ukuphila esikhathini esedlule. Yamukela ukuhlukana kwenzeke, sebenzisa umthetho wokuthi ungathintani futhi uqale ukugxila kuwena. Zama ukungazivumeli ukuthi ukhungatheke ngokuphuthelwa okwakuyikho, kunalokho, zama futhi ugxile ekusaseni lakho. Ukungaxhumani nomuntu othandana naye kuzokusiza kakhulu kunalokho ongakucabanga.
Into yokuqala nebaluleke kakhulu okufanele uyenze ukuqinisekisa ukuthi isikhathi sakho esiningi simatasa ngezinto ezikhiqizayo. Ukuzivocavoca, ukusebenza, ukufunda kanye/noma ukwenza noma yini ekwenza ujabule. Zinike isikhathi sokuzizwa udangele/ukhumbula isikhathi esidlule ngowakwakho, kodwa ungakuvumeli ukuthi kudle usuku lwakho ngokuqinisekisa ukuthi uyaziphazamisa. Qhubeka uqhubekela phambili, thola usizo lochwepheshe uma kudingeka. KwaBonobology, sinabelaphi abaningi abanolwazi abangakusiza udlule kulesi sigaba esinzima empilweni yakho.
Imicabango Final
Izinkumbulo azinyamalali ngobusuku obubodwa, kodwa amandla azo phezu kwakho anganyamalala uma udala ezintsha nezingcono ngenkuthalo. Ukwelapha kumayelana nokwamukela, ukuhlukana ngokomzwelo, nokubuyisa injabulo yakho. Abelaphi bethu bangakusiza ukuthi ucubungule imizwa futhi uqhubekele phambili ngokucacile. Bhukha Iseshini Yokwelapha Manje
Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
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