Ingabe Uzobuya? Izimpawu Eziyi-15 Ezikhombisa Azokwenza Nokumele Akwenze

Awuwedwa uma ulala ungalali uzibuza ukuthi: ingabe uzobuya? Lelo findo esiswini sakho kusukela ekuhlukaneni kwakamuva likhona yonke indawo. Kungokwemvelo ukubambelela ethembeni, ngisho nalapho kungekho muntu ongathembisa ukuthi ikusasa lisiphatheleni. Ochwepheshe bezobudlelwano bathi ngokuvamile azikho iziqinisekiso ngemva kokuhlukana. 

Kulesi sihloko, ngeke senze sengathi ngenye indlela, kodwa sizokuhlomisa ngolwazi. Sizofaka izimpawu ezibalulekile angase abuye nazo, izigaba ezivamile nezikhathi, izinkomba ezinhle ongazibukela, amafulegi abomvu abonisa ukuphela, kanye nezenzo ongazithatha futhi uzigweme esinyathelweni ngasinye. Hlala uzungeze: ekugcineni, uzokwazi ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nesimo, ngenkathi uzinakekela.

Kungani Abantu Babuya Ngemva Kokuhlukana

Ukuhlukana kungase kubangele ukuzisola okujulile. Abantu bangaqala ukulangazelela ama-ex wabo kanye nokunethezeka kobambiswano. UDkt. Alexandra Stratyner, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esizinze eManhattan, uyachaza, “Umuntu angase afune ukuphinde ahlangane nomuntu owayekade ethandana naye ngoba uphuthelwa izingxenye ezinhle zobuhlobo. 

Ucwaningo ithola ukuthi abantu abanamathele ngokukhathazeka bavame ukuzizwa bengenalutho ngemva kokuhlukana futhi bangase bazame ukuxhuma kabusha ukuze bazizwe bephelele futhi. Ngisho nokudabuka okuvamile kungase kube kukhulu. Isizungu, ukukhathazeka kanye nokungaqiniseki” kunamandla ngemva nje kokuhlukana. 

• Isizungu nesithukuthezi: Kujwayelekile uku uzizwa ungelutho ngemva kokuhlukana, futhi lesi sikhala singenza umuntu alangazelele i-ex yakhe
• I-Nostalgia: Izinkumbulo ezimnandi ziyabuya. Ukungabibikho kwenza inhliziyo ithandeke
• Ibhizinisi elingaxazululiwe: Icala elibeleselayo noma imibuzo engaphenduleki ibuyisela abantu emuva

Izifundo iphakamisa cishe ingxenye yesithathu yama-ex axhume kabusha. Inhlolovo eyodwa ithole ukuthi u-41% uzamile ukubuyelana, futhi ucwaningo olulodwa lwathola cishe u-37% wabantu ababehlala ndawonye baphinde bahlangana kamuva. Ngakho-ke noma kungakaze kuqinisekiswe, inani elibalulekile labaphumayo liyafinyelela futhi.

Umugqa Wesikhathi Nezigaba Ze-Ex Ebuyayo

Uhambo lwe-ex yakho ebuyela kuwe ngokuvamile lulandela indlela ebikezelwayo. Nansi indlela engase ibukeke ngayo:

Isigaba 1: Ukuzisola kanye nokulangazelela

Emasontweni ambalwa okuqala ngemva kokuhlukana, cishe uzizwa ezisola futhi elangazelela. Angase adlale kabusha izinkumbulo ezijabulisayo futhi aphuthelwe isimiso osinikezile. Kulapho-ke imicabango ethi “kuthiwani uma” iqala, kodwa akakasicubunguli ngokugcwele ukwehlukana.

Isigaba 2: Ukuhlola kanye nokungabaza

Ezinyangeni ezi-1-3 ezizayo, uqala ukucabanga izinto ngokucacile. Ulinganisa ngomqondo ubuhle nobubi be ukubuyelana. Ukuziqhenya, ukwesaba ukwenqatshwa, noma umuzwa wecala kungamenza angabaze, ngakho angase aqhelelane ngenkathi ephikisana ngokuthi enzeni.

Isigaba sesi-3: Imizamo yokuxhuma kabusha

Uma enquma ukuthi ufuna ukuzama futhi, uzoqala ukufinyelela. Lokhu kungase kube umbhalo ovamile, umlayezo ezinkundleni zokuxhumana, noma ukuhlela ukungena "ngengozi". Uhlola amanzi futhi ufuna impendulo enobungane. Lesi sigaba simayelana nezinyathelo ezincane zokuvuselela ukuxhumana.

Isigaba sesi-4: Ukuhlanganiswa kabusha noma ukufiphala

Okokugcina, kuphakathi kokuthi nobabili nisebenza ekwakheni kabusha ubudlelwano, uma izimpawu nesikhathi kuzwakala kulungile, noma izinto ziyabheda. Uma engathathi hlangothi futhi usabela kahle, ungase udlulele ekubuyisaneni. Uma ungenayo intshisekelo noma izinkinga ezindala ziphinde zivele, ukuxhumana okuvuselelwe kungase kunyamalale kancane kancane futhi kuphele unomphela.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izinhlobo Eziyi-11 Zokuhlukana Ezibuyelana Kanye Nezikhathi Zesikhathi

Ingabe Uzobuya? Izimpawu Eziyi-15 Ezibonisa Ukuthi Uzoyenza

Kuncane empilweni okusishiya sididekile kunezinto zobudlelwano, ikakhulukazi ukuhlukana. Uma kunguwe owalahlwa, ungase uzithole uzibuza ukuthi ungubani, ungase ubuze umuntu othile ongasethemba ukuthi, “Lapho umfana ehlukana nawe, ingabe uzobuya?”

Uma umlahlile uyazibuza ukuthi wenze kahle yini noma bekumele umnike elinye ithuba. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yikuphi, kunethuba elihle lokuthi uzibuze, “Ingabe uzobuya?” Noma zibuze, yini eyenza indoda ibuye ngemva kokuhlukana? Ukukusiza ukuthi uthole izimpendulo, sihlanganise izimpawu ezithile eziqinisekisa ukuthi owakwakho uzobuyela kuwe.

1. Uqede izinto ngenxa yokungaqondi

Ngokuvamile, ukungaqondi kuholela ekwehlukaneni. Noma benivuleleka futhi nithembeke kangakanani komunye nomunye, kungenzeka ukuthi bekukhona ukuhlukana kokuxhumana ebudlelwaneni bakho lapho uhlulekile ukudlulisa imizwa yakho noma imizwa yakho ngendlela efanele noma ungawuqondi umbono womlingani wakho noma okuphambene nalokho.

Ukungaqondi kahle okunjalo kungaba kubi ngokwanele ukuphoqa abantu ukuthi badonse ipulaki ebuhlotsheni babo. Uma kunjalo, khona-ke kungenzeka ukuthi nobabili nowayekade nibona ukuthi ukuhlukana bekungadingekile. Ezimweni ezinjalo, amathuba okuthi abuye futhi aphakamise ukuthi unikeze ubudlelwano bakho elinye ithuba maningi kakhulu.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Uma Ekuthanda Uzobuya No matter What!

2. Akachithanga sikhathi wathola omunye umuntu

Ex yakho ukuphola othile omusha kungase kubonakale njengenye yezimpawu ukuthi ngeke abuye kodwa akunjalo. Ubuhlobo obuseduze buyindlela evamile yokubhekana nokuhlukana. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi indawo yokulinda yobusuku obubodwa noma i-fling ehlala amasonto ambalwa, uma ethole omunye umuntu ngokushesha ngemva kokuhlukana, kusho ukuthi akakakulungeli ukuba angashadile futhi.

Kungase futhi kusho ukuthi uyakukhumbula, futhi lona wesifazane omusha empilweni yakhe uwukuzama nje. Lesi esinye sezibonakaliso ezisobala kakhulu udabukile ngawe. Ngakho-ke, uma uzibuza, "Ingabe uzobuya uma ngimshiya yedwa?" bese umbona ehamba nabanye abantu besifazane, qiniseka ukuthi uyazikhotha amanxeba futhi cishe uzobuyela kuwe ngokushesha. Mancane amathuba okuthi abe kulobu budlelwano obusha isikhathi eside ngaphandle kokuthi ahlukane nawe ngoba ethandane nomuntu ahamba naye njengamanje.

3. Uhlala “ushayisana naye” edolobheni

Uma uhlangana nesoka lakho lakudala njalo edolobheni, ikakhulukazi ezindaweni elaziyo ukuthi uthanda ukuzipholela, kusobala ukuthi akakadluli ngawe futhi akakakulungeli ukuvala lesi sahluko sempilo yakhe. Ukube ubezama ngempela ukuqhubeka, ubezokwenza umzamo wokugwema izindawo azi ukuthi ungase ube kuzo. Ukuthi umbona esitolo sakho sekhofi osithandayo yize engalithandi ngempela ikhofi noma uke wahlangana naye esitolo sangakini yize engahlali endaweni kuyizimpawu zokuthi uzomthola. nibuyelane ekugcineni.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izingxenye Eziyisi-7 Zengqondo Yabesilisa Ngesikhathi Somthetho Wokungaxhumani Nomuntu - Esekelwa Uchwepheshe

4. Usasebenza ezinkundleni zokuxhumana

Lena into engenangqondo. Uma uhlose ukwedlula othile, into yokugcina oyifunayo ukuthi avele enkundleni yakho yezokuxhumana lapho uskrola embhedeni ngo-3 AM. Ngakho-ke, ungawavimba noma uwakhawulele ukuze ungawaboni. Kungokufanayo nakwabafana. Uma engakakuvimbi namanje ihlola okuthunyelwe kwakho kwezokuxhumana noma ama-DMs, khona-ke ungaqiniseka ukuthi uzama ukuthola indlela ebuyela empilweni yakho.

5. Udlala imidlalo yengqondo ezinkundleni zokuxhumana

Ngemva kokuhlukana, ikakhulukazi okungcolile, kuvamile ama-ex ukuze avimbe omunye nomunye ezinkundleni zokuxhumana kushisa nje. Kodwa uma ezinsukwini ezimbalwa noma emasontweni ambalwa kamuva, uthola ukuthi ukuvulile, kuwuphawu oluhle lokuthi uyazisola ngokuhlukana nawe. Kungani futhi engakuvulela? Kuyakhombisa nokuthi ubecabanga ngawe.

Kuyaphawuleka ukuthi uma imidlalo yakhe yengqondo izwa sengathi ukucupha ku-inthanethi, kufanele umvimbe. Ungcono ukubeka impilo yakho yokuthandana kunokuthi uzifake kulolu hlobo lwedrama.

6. Udakiwe-ukudayela (noma ukubhalela) kaningi

Ngabe uzobuya ngemuva akekho oxhumana naye, uyazibuza? Nokho, uma kade edakiwe efona noma ekuthumelela imiyalezo kaningi, kuwuphawu olusobala lokuthi ufuna ithuba lesibili. Kusho ukuthi ubelokhu ecabanga ngawe lapho engadakiwe, kodwa ubesebenzisa amandla akhe ukuze agweme ukufinyelela amalungelo. Utshwala obuncane bungasebenza ngokushesha lokho kuzimisela futhi uvuke ngolunye usuku ekuseni unama missed calls angu-37 nemibhalo engu-99 ethi, “Uvukile?”

Ngakho-ke, uma ubulokhu uzibuza, “Ungivimbile, uzobuya?” noma "Wahlukana nami, ingabe uzobuya?", ungase uthole impendulo efonini yakho buzzing off the hook phakathi nobusuku.

7. Akachithi sikhathi ephendula imibhalo noma izingcingo zakho

"Wahlukana nami, uzobuya?" Sinesivivinyo se-litmus sakho esizoqeda zonke izinkinga zakho nezinto ezikukhathazayo—zama ukumthumelela umlayezo wombhalo noma ukumshayela. Uma engachithi sikhathi ekuphenduleni lokho kukhombisa ngokusobala ukuthi ubenethemba lokuphinda avule umzila wokuxhumana. Ngisho noma ufona nje ukuze uthole ezinye zezinto zakho, angase azame ukuqondisa ingxoxo emcabangweni wokubuyisana. Noma angase asikisele ukuba nizipholele noma nihlangane ukuze niphuze ikhofi, okuwusuku olungenangqondo engqondweni yakhe. Lezi yizimpawu ezicashile owake wathandana naye ofuna ukuzibuyisela.

8. Ubambelele ezintweni ozishiye endaweni yakhe

Enye indlela yokuxazulula inkinga yakho yokuthi “uyoke abuye” iwukuba umshayele umbuze izinto zakho. Uma ehudula izinyawo odabeni, kungase kusho ukuthi izinto zakho uzigcinela ukubaluleka kwazo. Uthanda ukukhunjuzwa ngawe ngoba akakakulungeli ukukudedela, okusho ukuthi nakanjani uzobe esemkhunjini nomqondo wokubuyisana.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimpawu Eziyi-17 Ukuthi Usakuthanda Ngemva Kokuhlukana

9. Usaxhumene nomphakathi wakho

Ngemuva kokwehlukana, abantu bavamise ukugwema i-ex yabo kanye nemibuthano yomphakathi yalabo abakade bethandana nabo. Ngoba uma uzama ukuqhubekela phambili, kungani ungafuna ukukhunjuzwa nge-ex yakho? Kodwa uma owayeyisoka lakho esakhuluma nabangane bakho nomndeni wakho, kungase kusho ukuthi uzama ukugcina umzila wokuxhumana nawe uvulekile… “uma kwenzeka.”

Mhlawumbe, akakakulungeli ukuthintana nawe ngqo noma ngezinkundla zokuxhumana ngenxa yokwesaba ukuthi kungase kumenze abukeke ephelelwe yithemba, enamathela, noma eswele. Ngakho-ke, ukhetha le ndlela yokuhlala empilweni yakho ngaphandle kokuza ngamandla kakhulu. Ukwazisa ukuthi usekhona uma ufuna ukushintsha umqondo. Ngakho-ke uma uzibuza, “Ingabe uzobuya ngemva kokungaxhumani naye?” noma “Ingabe uzobuya uma mina myeke?”, mhlawumbe ubuze abangani bakho ukuthi bezwe ngaye yini.

10. Ukhumbula izinsuku ezibalulekile

Usuku lwakho lokuqala selokhu nahlukana futhi uyazibuza ukuthi, “Uyangikhumbula? Ngabe uzobuya eselungele ubudlelwano?” Bese ubheka ifoni yakho bese ubona umbhalo osho okuthile mayelana nosuku lwakho lokukhumbula ukube ubezama ukuqhubekela phambili, ubengeke akwenze lokho kusho ukuthi usenentshisekelo kuwe.

Uma bekuwusuku lwakho lokuzalwa futhi ekuthumelele umbhalo oyisisekelo othi “happy birthday,” kungasho ukuthi ufuna nje ukuhlala umngane. Kodwa inqobo nje uma ekufisela usuku lwakho lokuzalwa. Uma ekubuza ngezinhlelo zakho zosuku noma ukuthi izinto bezikuhambela kanjani, ngezinye zezimpawu zokuthi inhliziyo yakhe ibuhlungu ngawe futhi udlalisa umqondo wokuthi nibuyelane. Mhlawumbe, wayedinga indawo nesikhathi ukuze athole umbono omncane wokuthi lobu buhlobo bubaluleke kangakanani kuye. Uyazi ukuthi bathini, myeke ahambe, uzobuyela kuwe.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: 8 Izimpawu Ukuthi Ujola Nendoda Eswele Nezinto Ezi-5 Ongayenza Ngayo

11. Ukubuza ngezindlela ezicashile

Uma uzibuza, "Ingabe abafana bayabuya ngemuva kokuphela kancane?" noma “Ingabe abafana bayabuya njalo”? ayikho impendulo elingana nosayizi owodwa. Abanye bayakwenza, abanye abakwenzi. Kodwa zikhona izimpawu ezingakutshela lokho uyabuya futhi ezinye zalezi zimpawu zingaba ezicashile. Isibonelo, uma ekubhalela ngomculo eniwuthandayo nobabili futhi ethi kungaba kuhle ukuhlangana nani egigini ezayo, usuke ekucela ukuthi niphume. Uma abelana ngendawo yokudlela entsha azi ukuthi uyathanda, ucela ukuthi uhambe. Uma “ngephutha” eyala ukudla okufika endaweni yakho ngoba “ukhohlwe” ukususa ikheli lakho ohlelweni lwakhe lokulethwa kokudla… ukuqagelile, uyakucela.

12. Udangele futhi ubhuquza ezidabukela

Ukucindezeleka kuyingxenye yemvelo inqubo yokudabuka. Kodwa uma ukucindezeleka kwalowo owabe eshade naye kungasebenzi esigabeni esilandelayo senqubo, kungase kusho ukuthi akakakulungeli ukukulahla. Kungaba ubuhlakani ukunyathela ngokucophelela kulesi simo ngoba kungaba yisu lokukunqoba ngokunxusa uzwelo lwakho, okuyifulegi elikhulu elibomvu. Kungase kusho ukuthi uzama ukukukhohlisa futhi uma ubuyela kuye, lokhu kungase kube umjikelezo ongapheli naye.

13. Akakhulumi kabi ngemuva kwakho

Indlela evamile yokusabela ngokuhlukana iwukukhuluma kabi kowayekade ekhuluma naye. Uma owakwakho engakwenzi lokhu, kungase kusho ukuthi usenemizwa ngawe. Uma ubengakufuni empilweni yakhe, ubengeke akunake ngokwanele ukuba ayeke ukukhuluma kabi ngawe, akunjalo? Uma uzibuza ukuthi, “Ingabe uyoke abuye?”, buza abanye babangane bakho bakudala uma kukhona akushilo ngawe. Uma konke kuhle, khona-ke mhlawumbe namanje uyakukhathalela.

14. UKHULUMA ngawe ngemuva kwakho

Kodwa ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukukhuluma ngawe ngemuva kungase kusho ukuthi uthukuthele ukuthi kuphelile. Abantu basho izinto ezingasile uma becasukile, izinto abangaziqondile. Injalo ingqondo yowesilisa ngesikhathi ungaxhumani futhi lokhu kungaba njalo nge-ex yakho. Kodwa-ke, umbuzo uthi uyafuna yini ukuba nomfana okhuthele kangangokuthi akakwazi ukulawula ulimi lwakhe lapho enqotshwa imizwa. Ukuba sebudlelwaneni kungase kungalufanele lolu hlobo lwezinkinga.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Akukho Ukuthintana Ne-Narcissist - Izinto Eziyi-7 Ama-Narcissists Azenzayo Uma Ungaxhumani

15. Wayenothando olude

Ubudlelwano bebanga elide ziyaziwa kanzima ukulondoloza, ikakhulukazi uma kunzima ukuhlangabezana a la ngempela ubudlelwano bebanga elide. Okwenzeka kaningi kulezi zimo ukufiphala kancane kunokuhlukana kungazelelwe. Ngakho-ke abafana bayabuya ngemva kokuphela kancane? Uma ubudlelwano bubuhle ngenkathi buqhubeka, maningi kakhulu amathuba okuthi uzowenza. Phela kwakungekho ukuhlukana okungcolile okwakumenza acabange kabili. Kunezinkumbulo ezindala kuphela ezimenza azizwe ejabule. Uma lokhu kungesona isisusa, akukho lutho.

Izimpawu Ezingezinhle Mhlawumbe Ngeke Abuye

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, amasignali athile akutshela ukuthi uqhubeke. Uma owakwakho ebonisa impatho ecacile yokuvala, kuwuphawu oluqinile lokuthi ngeke abuye. Nazi ezinye izinkomba ezingezinhle:

• Akekho othintana naye noma ovimbayo: Uma emise konke ukuxhumana, ekuvimbile noma engayinaki imilayezo yakho isikhathi eside, kuwuphawu oluqinile lokuthi ukunqamule.
• Ubudlelwano obusha obubalulekile: Aqhubeke ngokushesha nomunye umuntu noma uthandana obala. Uma ehileleke nomuntu omusha, cishe akahlosile ukubuya
• Izinto ezibuyisiwe noma ezicela eyakho: Ukubuyisela izipho, izithombe, nanoma yiziphi izinto zomuntu siqu kubonisa ukuthi uyasivala leso sahluko
• Ukungabi nandaba okubandayo: Ukuphatha njengomuntu ongamazi, akabonisi imizwa noma isithakazelo lapho nihlangana, noma ngisho nokulahla. Ukunganaki kungaba uhlobo lwesiphetho
• Ukuhlukana okunobuthi noma okuhlukumezayo: Uma ukuhlukana bekungenxa yezinkinga ezingathi sína ezinjengokuhlukunyezwa, udlame, ukungasebenzi kahle, ochwepheshe bayavuma ukuthi kungcono ukushiya lobo budlelwano esibukweni esingemuva.
• Isinqumo esifanayo: Uma ukuhlukana kwenu bekuhambisana noma egcizelela ukuthi kungcono kakhulu, amathuba okuhlangana aphansi kakhulu

Abelaphi bagcizelela ukuthi ukuqaphela lezi zimpawu kubalulekile. Uma kuvela amafulegi amaningi abomvu, kungase kube impilo engcono ukugxila kuwena bese udedela okwedlule. 

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimpawu Ezingu-17 Ezinamandla Ezivela Emkhathini I-Ex Yakho Iyabuya 

Izici Ezithonya Amathuba Okubuya

Ziningi izinto ezinomthelela ekutheni uzobuya yini. Lokhu kuhlanganisa kokubili izici zakhe nesimo sakho. Ngokwesibonelo, ubuntu bakho kanye isitayela sokunamathiselwe yenza umehluko. Abantu abanokunamathela okukhathazayo bavame ukuzizwa bephoqelekile ukuthi baxhumane kabusha, kuyilapho abanye bengase baqhubeke ngokushesha. Labo abaphezulu kokukhathazeka okunamathiselwe bangabuya ukuze balungise isithombe sabo esinyakazayo. 

Imvelo yokuhlukana nayo ibalulekile. Ukuhlukana okunokuthula kungashiya indawo yokucatshangelwa kabusha, kodwa ukukhaphela noma ukuhlukana okubuhlungu kwenza ukubuyisana kube nzima kakhulu. Ukuthi nindawonye isikhathi esingakanani nokuthi utshalwe imali kangakanani nakho kuyabalwa. Ubudlelwano obude, obujulile bakha izibopho eziqinile. Umqeqeshi wezobudlelwano uChris Seiter uyaphawula, “Imibhangqwana ehlala isikhathi eside ivame ukubuyisana ngokuphumelelayo ngoba ukutshala isikhathi kubalulekile.” Uma uba neminyaka eminingi nokuzibophezela okwabelwana ngakho, ayanda amathuba okuthi oyedwa noma nobabili nizame ubudlelwano.

Ezinye izici zingadlala indima nazo. Uma owayekade ekhona egxumela ku-rebound ngokushesha, amathuba okuthi abuye angase abe mancane ngaphandle uma lokho kufiphala. Ukushintsha kwempilo noma izingcindezi zamasiko, njengokubuyela emuva edolobheni lasekhaya elilodwa noma ukuba semphakathini obumbene, nakho kungaba nomthelela ekuziphatheni. Ngamafuphi, ayikho ifomula elula. Ubuntu, isitayela sokuhlukana, umlando, nomongo konke kuyahlangana ukuze kulolonge isinqumo sakhe.

Okufanele Ukwenze Uma Ebuyela Kuwe

Okufanele Ukwenze Uma Ebuya

Ake sithi impendulo yombuzo wakho, "Ingabe uzobuya?", kuvele kube uyebo, noma okungenani, ubona ithuba elinamandla lokubuyisana, kufanele kube yini umnyakazo wakho olandelayo? Nakuba kungase kulinge ukugxuma ubuyele phakathi ngezinyawo zombili, ukuqhubeka ngokuqapha kuyafaneleka. Nakhu okufanele ukwenze uma ebuya noma ukubuyisana kubonakala kuseduze:

1. Ngaphambi kokuxhuma kabusha

Ngaphambi kokuthi nicabange nokubuyelana, zindla ngokuthi kungani umfuna abuye nokuthi kunempilo yini. Sebenzisa isikhathi ongathintwa ngaso njengokusetha kabusha. UDkt. Stratyner uthi, “Ikhefu linikeza isikhala sokuphulukisa nokuthola ukucaciseleka. Chitha lesi sikhathi ukuzinakekela, ukubeka imingcele kulokho ozokwamukela noma ongeke wakwamukela, futhi usebenzele eyakho imigomo.”

Gxila empilweni yakho, izinto zokuzilibazisa, abangani, ukwelashwa, noma yini ekujabulisayo. Lapho uba namandla futhi waneliseka ngokwengeziwe uwedwa, uyancipha amathuba okuba uzitholele okuthile okungenampilo kamuva.

2. Ngesikhathi sokuxhumana kokuqala

Lapho ekugcineni efinyelela, ungajahi noma wethuke. Linda kuze kube yilapho uzizwa upholile futhi ulungile, bese uphendula ngezwi elinobungane, elikhuphukayo. Gcina izinto zikhululekile futhi zilungile kunokuba zishube noma zibe nemizwa ngokweqile.

Sebenzisa iphimbo elinenhlonipho nethembekile. Uma ukhuluma mathupha noma ngombhalo, gxila ekulaleleni kakhulu njengokukhuluma. Gwema ukusola. Uchwepheshe wezobudlelwano u-Yue Xu uyeluleka, “Bhala phansi konke izizathu zokuhlukana kwenu futhi uzinike amasonto ambalwa ukuze uthole ukucaciseleka ngaphambi kokuhlanganyela ngokugcwele futhi.” Lokhu kukuvimbela ukuthi ungaphindi ngokungacabangi okwedlule.

Okwamanje, bonisa ukuthi wenza kahle. Veza izihloko ezijabulisayo noma ezingathathi hlangothi ekuqaleni, mhlawumbe inkumbulo ehlekisayo noma izintshisekelo ezabiwe, futhi ubone ukuthi uphendula kanjani. Uma wabelana ngawe nangempilo yakho, kwenze ngobuqotho nangokuzethemba. Lokhu kulinganisela kwemfudumalo nokuziqinisekisa kungakhanga kakhulu futhi kubeke isisekelo esiqinile sanoma iyiphi inkhulumomphendvulwano yesikhathi esizayo.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izigaba Eziyisi-7 Zokubuyelana Ne-Ex

3. Uma ebuya

Uma ezimisele ngokubuyelana, khulumani ngokukhululekile ngokonakala. Qiniseka ukuthi nobabili niziqonda ngempela izinkinga. Gwema ukwenza sengathi akwenzekanga lutho. Ukuxazulula izinkinga zangempela kubalulekile uma nobabili niqala kabusha.

"Ukwethembana kungenzeka konakaliswe ukuhlukana. Thatha kancane. Gcina izithembiso, ungaguquguquki, futhi ukhulume ngemizwa yakho ngokwethembeka,” kweluleka uDkt. Stratyner.” Cacisani ukuthi yini eniyidingayo komunye nomunye ngalesi sikhathi. 

• Ukuvumelana ngokuxhumana okungcono
• Ukuchaza imingcele yobudlelwano
• Ukuxoxa lapho nobabili nibona ubudlelwano buyaphi

Ukuba nalezi zingxoxo kusenesikhathi kusiza bobabili ozakwethu bazizwe bevikelekile. Ukuqinisa okuhle nakho kuhamba ibanga elide. Uma ebonisa umzamo ongaguquki njengokufeza isithembiso noma ukwenza uzizwe waziswa, mazise ukuthi uyasiqaphela. Mbonge ngomzamo. Lolu hlobo lwesikhuthazo lungamshukumisela ukuba aqhubeke enza izinto ezifanele, enze ukwakha kabusha ukwethembana kube nokwenzeka ngokwengeziwe.

4. Uma engabuyi

Uma engabuyi, zivumele ukuba udabuke ngokulahlekelwa. Kuvamile ukuzizwa udangele, uthukuthele, noma udumazekile. Ukubhala imizwa yakho noma ukukhuluma nomngane omethembayo noma umelaphi kungakusiza ukuthi uvaleleke. Zikhumbuze ukuthi isinqumo sakhe asibonisi ukubaluleka kwakho.

Zama ukuthola izifundo kokuhlangenwe nakho. Abantu abaningi bathola amandla nezifiso ezintsha ngaphakathi kwabo ngemva kokuhlukana. Yamukela noma yikuphi ukukhula komuntu siqu kusukela kulesi sikhathi. Khumbula ukuthi ukuphela kobudlelwano obubodwa kuvame ukuqala kwamathuba amasha, ngokomzwelo nasempilweni.

Gxila ekwakheni ukuzethemba nempilo oyithandayo. Phishekela imigomo nemisebenzi ekwenza ujabule uzimele ngaphandle kwanoma ubani omunye. Njengoba isikhathi siqhubeka, zivumele ukuhlangana nabantu abasha noma uzame izinto ezintsha, kodwa kuphela lapho uzizwa ukulungele ngempela.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimpawu eziyi-15 zokuthi Umosha Isikhathi Ngokuzama Ukubuyisa I-Ex Yakho

Ukuvikela Impilo Yakho Engokwengqondo Nengokomzwelo

Ukuzikhathaza ngokuthi, “Ingabe uzobuya?”, ukuzama ukunquma ukuthi uzophinde axhumane nomuntu oshade naye noma cha, ukuqala kabusha ubuhlobo noma ukwenza isinqumo esinzima sokuqhubekela phambili ngokuhle konke kungakhandla kakhulu ngokomzwelo. Kubalulekile ukuvikela inhlalakahle yakho engokwengqondo nengokomzwelo kukho konke.  

• Ungabambeleli ethembeni elingamanga: Ukudlala ngokuqhubekayo, "Ingabe uzobuya?", Engqondweni yakho kukugcina uvaleleke. Yazisa imizwa yakho, kodwa futhi uqhubekele phambili. U-Xu uncoma ukubhala phansi imizwa yakho nezizathu zokuhlukana, phakathi nenqubo yokungathintani, bese ubeka leyo micabango eceleni. Lolu hlobo lwejenali lungakusiza ubone iqiniso ngokucacile futhi ugweme izinqumo zokuxhamazela
• Imidlalo ethinta imizwa: Qaphela ukuziphatha okukhohlisayo. Uma exhumana nawe kuphela lapho enesithukuthezi noma edabukile, ethumela izimpawu ezixubile, noma idlala kushisa futhi kubanda imidlalo, lokho akunampilo. Umlingani onempilo kufanele azinzile futhi ahloniphe, angakuphathi njengomdlalo. Ukufunda ukubona lawa maphethini kubalulekile ukuze uzivikele
• Khetha wena: Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi wenzani noma unqumani, khumbula ukuthi izidingo zakho ziza kuqala. Unelungelo lokubeka phambili ukuphulukiswa kwakho nenjabulo yakho. Zinakekele ngokwenza izinto ezikwenza uzizwe ulungile futhi unamandla. UXu ugcizelela ukuthi ukuzibeka phambili ngalesi sikhathi akukona ukuzicabangela, wukuzigcina

Funa usekelo: Akudingekile ukuba udlule kulokhu uwedwa. Cabangela ukwelashwa, amaqembu okusekela, noma ukukhuluma nabangane nomndeni ukuze ucubungule ukuhlukana. Abantu abaningi bathola ukuthi ukwabelana ngemizwa yabo nokuthola imibono yangaphandle kusiza ukusheshisa ukuphulukiswa. Ochwepheshe baphawula ukuthi ukuxoxa ngokuhlukana noma ukukubhala phansi kungakuvimbela ekubambeni emicabangweni engalungile.

Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa

Imicabango Final

Kuleli qophelo unekhithi yamathuluzi yezimpawu, imigqa yesikhathi, nezenzo zokusingatha ukungaqiniseki. Umbuzo othi "ingabe uzobuya?" ingase ibambezeleke, kodwa manje ungabhekana nempendulo, noma ngabe iyini, uhlome ngokuqondisisa. Zithembe, funa ukusekelwa, futhi uthathe usuku ngalunye ngesikhathi. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uyabuya noma cha, uzophuma kulokhu unamandla futhi uhlakaniphe. Khumbula, ukubuza, "ingabe uzobuya?" kungokwemvelo, kodwa zama ukusebenzisa lowo mbuzo ukuze uqondise kabusha amandla akho ekukhuleni kwakho esikhundleni sokuba ubanjwe yikho.

Okufanele Ukwenze Uma Ekuphephetha Futhi Ebuya

Izimpawu Eziwu-20 I-Ex Yakho Ngeke Iphinde Ibuye

Kungani Abafana Bayeka Ukubhalelana Bese Baqala Futhi? 12 Izizathu Eziyiqiniso Zokuba

Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.