Izimpawu ezingu-20 zokuthi Usebudlelwaneni obuhlukumezayo ngokomzwelo

Yiziphi izimpawu zobudlelwane obuhlukumezayo ngokomzwelo? Abantu ababanjwe ebudlelwaneni bothando obunobuthi bavame ukuzithola becabanga ngalo mbuzo, njengoba bezabalaza ukwenza umqondo weqiniso labo. Nakuba zonke izinkinga zobudlelwano zingase zibe nemiphumela emibi, ukuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo kungase kuthene amandla futhi kucindezele, kumuntu obhekene nakho kanye namalungu omndeni wakhe nabathandekayo. 

Ngeke kugcizelelwe ngokwanele ukuthi ukuba sebuhlotsheni kubi kangakanani lapho ubhekana khona nokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo kunganciphisa umbono womuntu ohlukunyeziwe wokuzihlonipha futhi kuhlukumeze ingqondo yakhe. Ukuguquguquka kobudlelwano obunjalo kwenziwa kungabi yingozi kakhulu iqiniso lokuthi labo abavaleleke ebuhlotsheni obunjalo ngokuvamile bayehluleka ukubona kanye nokubona izimpawu eziyisixwayiso zakuqala. Izisulu zokuhlukunyezwa nokukhwabanisa okunjalo zihlala zivaleleke kulo mjikelezo ongapheli ngaphandle uma ziqunga isibindi sokuphuma.

Kulesi sihloko, u-Anushtha Mishra (M.Sc. ku-Counseling Psychology) ogxile ekuhluphekeni, ezinkingeni zobudlelwano, ukucindezeleka, ukukhathazeka, usizi, kanye nesizungu uchaza ukuthi kuyini ukuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo, ukuthi ungazibona kanjani izimpawu ezibomvu ezibonisa ubudlelwano obunobuthi ngokomzwelo, nokuthi yini ongayenza uma ukubo.

Kuyini Ukuhlukumeza Ngokomzwelo?

Ngakho-ke, kubukeka kanjani ukuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo? Ukuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo kuyiphethini yokuziphatha lapho umuntu oyedwa elimaza inhlalakahle yengqondo yomunye nekhono lokusebenza. Kungenzeka kunoma yibuphi ubudlelwano, njengaphakathi kwabalingani bothando, abazali, izingane, abangani, noma osebenza nabo. Ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo kungase kungashiyi noma yimiphi imihuzuko noma izibazi ezifana nokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba, kodwa kubuhlungu ngendlela efanayo futhi kuthatha izindlela eziningi. 

Ucwaningo lukhombisile ukuthi ukubhekana nokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo kungaba nemiphumela emibi nehlala njalo empilweni yengqondo neyomzimba yomuntu. Izimpawu zokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo zifaka phakathi,

• Ukuzenyeza
• Ukuzizwa ungento yalutho
• Ukuphelelwa yithemba
• Ukuba novalo

Imiphumela yayo yesikhathi eside ingaba,

• Ukucindezeleka
• ukukhathazeka
• I-post-traumatic disorder disorder (PTSD)
• Ukuxhashazwa kwezidakamizwa
• Imicabango yokuzibulala
• Izinkinga zokulahla
• Ubuhlungu obungapheliyo 

Ukuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo kungathinta indlela umuntu asebenzisana ngayo nabanye, njengomndeni wakhe, abangane, noma osebenza nabo. Kungathinta nendlela umuntu asebenza ngayo emsebenzini, esikoleni, noma kweminye imisebenzi, futhi kulimaze umuzwa womuntu wobuwena kanye nokubaluleka kwakhe.

Izimpawu zokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo noma ukuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo, ngokuvamile, zihlanganisa

• Ukubhekana namagama amabi, ukubukeka kabi, amahlombe abandayo, izinsongo ezesabekayo,
• Ukuzizwa unesizungu futhi uvaleleke ekhoneni
• Uyala uBossy
• Amaqhinga akhohlisayo
• Ukubulawa kwezinhlamvu
• Ukulahla okubandayo
• Ukubizwa ngamagama
• Ukungathembeki ngokomzwelo
• Imidlalo yengqondo

Izimpawu ezingu-20 zokuthi Usebudlelwaneni obuhlukumezayo ngokomzwelo

Abantu abaningi, ikakhulukazi abasebasha abavaleleke ebudlelwaneni lapho kunezimpawu zokuhlukumezeka emoyeni abakwazi ukuqonda ukuziphatha kophathina babo. Abakwazi ukufunda izimpawu zobudlelwano okungenzeka buhlukumeze. Kodwa kubalulekile ukubheka noma yimaphi amaphethini okuziphatha anobuthi angaphandle kokujwayelekile noma asemngceleni kusukela ekuqaleni. Lokho okubonakala kuwuthando ekuqaleni kungase kubonakale kube into embi kakhulu engashintsha ngokuphelele ubuhlobo bakho bonke kodwa futhi ibe nomthelela empilweni yakho yengqondo. Ukubhekana nokuhlukunyezwa kunemiphumela nasempilweni yakho engokomzimba. 

Uma ubhekene nomlingani olawulayo , umlingani okhohlisayo, noma ubudlelwano obukhathaza impilo yakho yengqondo, ungahlali uphika, ubenze babe yizimpawu zothando, ukunakekelwa, ukukhathalela, kanye nokuba ngumnikazi. Qaphela lezi zimpawu zobudlelwano obuhlukumezayo ngokomzwelo kanye nokuziphatha okuhlukumezayo.

 1. Uzama kakhulu ukujabulisa umlingani wakho

Uyazibuza ukuthi ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo kubonakala kanjani? Yilapho uhlala uqaphela kakhulu ngokungakwenzi noma ukusho noma yini engase ibangele impendulo engemihle kumlingani wakho. Ukuba yisisulu sokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo kusho ukuhamba phezu kwamagobolondo amaqanda - lapho ungazi ukuthi yisiphi isenzo, esiqondile noma esingaqondile, kusukela ekugcineni kwakho esingabangela ukungezwani ngokomzwelo noma ngisho nokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba. Ngisho nendaba ebonakala incane ingabangela izingxabano zobudlelwano futhi uhlale ubekwa ohlangothini olungalungile.

2. Imibono yomlingani wakho kufanele ihlonishwe, kodwa eyakho ihlekwa

Ubudlelwano obunobuthi abulingani emvelweni. Ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo okuvela koshade naye/umlingani kubonakala ekungakwazini kwakho ukuveza imicabango nemibono yakho ngokukhululekile. Uma umlingani wakho enomuzwa wokuthi kulungile ukuthi akhulume ngezinye izikhathi kodwa imizwa yakho engemihle ikwenze ugxekwe, noma uma umlingani wakho echitha imibono yakho phambi kwabangane futhi ekwenza ihlaya lakhe, khona-ke lezi yizimpawu eziqinisekile zokuthi ubuhlobo bakho abunempilo.

3. Uyisisulu sokukhanyiswa ngegesi

Awukwazi ukuchaza ukuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo ngaphandle kokukhuluma ngokukhanyisa igesi. Kulabo abangafundile, ukukhanya kwegesi kuwuhlobo lokuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo nangokwengqondo okuhloswe ngalo ukuphika iqiniso lothile nezinto azizwile futhi zikuphathe ngendlela yokuthi baqale ukungabaza ukuhlakanipha kwabo futhi bagcwele ukungabaza.

Kuwuhlobo lokuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo okuyimfihlo ebudlelwaneni okudla kancane kancane umuzwa wakho wokwahlulela futhi kukugcwalisa ngomuzwa wokuzenyanya. Umlingani okhohlisayo angasebenzisa imisho yokuzikhukhumeza efana nale,

• “Angikhumbuli lokho kwenzeka”
• “Ucabanga izinto”
• “Angisoze ngakuqambela amanga”
• “Uzama ukungenza ngibukeke kabi”
• “Bengingaqondile kanjalo”
• "Ngenze ngoba ngikukhathalele"

Lezi ezinye zezibonelo zokuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo okuvela kumlingani futhi uma uthola umlingani wakho esho noma yikuphi kwalokhu kuwe kaningi, kusho ukuthi kuwuphawu oluyingozi lokuhlukumeza futhi ngokuvamile lusetshenziselwa ukuthola amandla nokulawula phezu kwakho.

4. Abahlukumezi bemizwa abayithembi imizwelo yakho

Ukuthembana okuphelele komunye nomunye kusesisekelo sobuhlobo obuhle. Kodwa ebudlelwaneni obukhohlisayo ngokomzwelo, ngokuvamile umlingani ohlukumezayo akakwazi ukuthemba omunye wabo obalulekile ngenxa yokuzethemba okuphansi. Esimeni esifana nalesi, imizwa yakho iba yinhlamba kubo, okugcina kuphenduke ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo.

Ngenxa yokuntuleka kokwethemba ubambiswano, bacabanga ukuthi noma yikuphi ukubonakaliswa kokungajabuli okuvela esiphethweni sakho kuklanyelwe ukubalimaza bona mathupha. Umhlukumezi, kulesi simo, udala ukungezwani okungokomzwelo, noma esimweni esibi kakhulu, angase azame nokukulimaza ngokomzimba. Yilokhu okuzizwa kunjani ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo. 

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Umhlukumezi usebenza kanjani ebudlelwaneni obuhlukumezayo?

5. Uzizwa uhlukanisiwe futhi uvaleleke

Ingabe uyazibuza ngokuphindaphindiwe ukuthi, “Ingabe ngiyahlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo?” Uma uzizwa uvalelekile , khona-ke kungenye yezimpawu zokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo. Ubudlelwano obunobudlova ngokwengqondo buyachuma lapho uhlukanisa isisulu nomhlaba. Abantu abahlukumezayo bangase bazame ukugqoka lesi sidingo “sokuba nawe kubo bonke” njengothando, kodwa ngokwenza kanjalo, umhlukumezi empeleni ukukuhlukanisa nabangani nomndeni. Ilungu elifanayo lomndeni nabathandekayo abakukhathalelayo - noma noma ubani ongakusiza noma anikeze ukwesekwa.

Ukuba sebudlelwaneni obubonakala ngokuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo kukwenza uzizwe ubambekile njengoba umhlukumezi ephendukela ekusabiseni noma ekwesabiseni ngokomzwelo ukuze avimbele umbuthano wabantu bakho, okwenza ugweme ukuzihlanganisa nabo. Umhlukumezi ufuna ucabange ukuthi awunawo amandla futhi uhlukaniswe yedwa, ngakho bakuqinisekisa ukuthi akukho ongakwenza, akukho lapho ungaya khona, futhi akekho ongamethemba, ngaphandle kwabo.

6. Umona ongenampilo

Omunye umona ebudlelwaneni ujwayelekile kodwa umona ongenampilo, owuphawu lokuba nezinto, ukungazethembi, nokungathenjwa, kungaba nemiphumela ebuhlungu. Lokhu akulona iqiniso kuphela ebudlelwaneni kodwa nakumlingani ekugcineni. Uma uyekile ukuxhumana nabangane bobulili obuhlukile, uma ulokhu ubheka phezu kwamahlombe akho ephathini lapho othile ekhuluma nawe ngokufudumele, noma uma umlingani wakho ebona okubomvu lapho othile eza futhi ekunika nje ukwanga, khona-ke uyisisulu somona ongenampilo. 

Olunye lwezimpawu zokuhlukumezeka ngokomzwelo okuvela koshade naye/uphathina kulapho behlala bekhuluma ngawe mayelana nokuthi uhlezi nobani futhi uhlangana nabo futhi bacasulwa ngisho nokusikisela okukude kakhulu kokumelana nezimfuno zabo ezingenangqondo ezivela ekugcineni kwakho. Lokhu kubangela ukulwa okungapheli kanye nokugadwa okungenasidingo. Ungabavumeli babaleke nalokhu kuziphatha egameni lokuba nezinto noma ukunakekela. Isikhathi sokuqala ukubeka imingcele ethile.

7. Ukuguquguquka kwemizwa kunokhahlo futhi akunakubikezelwa

Wonke umuntu uba nokushintshashintsha kwemizwa ngezikhathi ezithile. Kujwayelekile nje. Kodwa uma usebudlelwaneni obuhlukumezayo ngokwengqondo, ukuguquguquka kwemizwa nakanjani kuzokufica ungalindele. Izinto ezinjengokubuyela ekhaya unomuzwa wokwethuka ngemva kokuzithengela okuthile ngenxa yokuthi umlingani wakho angase asabele ngendlela engalindelekile, noma ashintshe ekubeni akweseke futhi akukhuthaze aye ekukuxosheni nasekululazeni ziphakathi kwezimpawu zokuthi uhlukumezekile emoyeni.

Umlingani wakho angahamba enyangeni ebona ingubo oyithengile, akutshele ukuthi uyigqoke ngokushesha noma angaklabalasa, amemeze noma akushaye ngempama ngenxa yokugwaza engutsheni akholelwa ukuthi ubungayidingi. Awazi ukuthi imizwa yabo ingashintsha ngaluphi uhlangothi futhi uhlale udidekile ngalokho.

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8.  Bayokugxeka futhi bakujabhise, kodwa amatafula awanakuphenduka

Ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomqondo ebudlelwaneni ngokuvamile kuthatha uhlobo lokugxeka njalo. Ukukugxeka kuba imvelo yesibili yomlingani wakho. Kusukela kulokho okugqokayo kuye endleleni ohamba ngayo, indlela okhuluma ngayo, hlobo luni lwabangane onalo, umndeni wakho, nomsebenzi wakho - akukho lutho olubalekela ukugxekwa kwabo, futhi inhloso lapha iwukukwenza uzizwe unamahloni.

Kodwa-ke, awukwazi ukubatshela ukuthi bagqoke ihembe eligoqekile futhi mhlawumbe kufanele balishintshe ngaphambi kokuya emsebenzini. Esinye sezibonakaliso zomuntu ohlukumezayo ngokomzwelo ukuthi akakaze avulekele noma yiluphi uhlobo lokugxekwa noma umbono ovela ohlangothini lwakho. Kufanele bahlale belungile futhi babe nezwi lokugcina kunoma iyiphi impikiswano noma ukungavumelani, futhi bangalokothi bavume amaphutha abo noma baxolise.

9. Ikunikeza indlela yokuthula

Imibhangqwana elwa futhi ingakhulumisani usuku olulodwa noma ezimbili kulungile futhi kuyingxenye yengxabano evamile. Eqinisweni, ukuphathwa buthule kungasiza ebudlelwaneni , kulokhu, njengoba kukuvumela ukuthi ucubungule imizwa yakho bese uba nengxoxo evulekile. Kodwa uma othile ekunika ukuphathwa buthule futhi engakunaki izinsuku eziningi, khona-ke akulutho ngaphandle kohlobo lokuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo.

Umhlukumezi wakha udonga futhi ubengeke akuvumele ukuthi ungene kulo ngoba efuna ukukujezisa. Baqala ukwenza sengathi awukho noma awunandaba nabo, futhi babonise ukungabi nandaba nemizwa yakho, imicabango, noma izidingo zakho. Lolu hlobo lokukhanda ngamatshe luwuhlobo lokuhlukumeza olubi kakhulu umuntu angabhekana nalo. Ungase ube nomyeni/unkosikazi/umlingani ohlukumeza ngokomzwelo uma enqaba ukuxhumana nawe ngemva kokungqubuzana kuze kube yilapho usulungele ukuvumela futhi uzwane nolayini afuna uwenze.

10. Ithi "I love you" kaningi aka love ibhomu kuwe

Ekuqaleni, kungase kuzwakale kumnandi lapho umlingani wakho eqala usuku futhi aluphethe ngokuthi “Ngiyakuthanda”, esho okungenani izikhathi ezingu-10 ngosuku phakathi. Kodwa kwenzekani lapho ungekho esimweni sokukuphendula ngokushesha? Ungase ube semhlanganweni wasehhovisi lapho befona, noma ungase ube matasa ngokuthile futhi kungase kuthathe isikhathi ukuphendula ukuthi “Ngiyakuthanda”.

Ingabe bayathukuthela futhi bacasuke uma ungakwazi ukuphendula ngokwezinto abalindele ezingafezeki? Noma bafuna ukunakwa kwakho okuphelele uma bekuthela ngothando futhi bekhungatheka uma unezinye izibopho? Lesi ngesinye sezibonakaliso zobudlelwano obuhlukumezayo ngokomzwelo ongabubheka njengothando oluhlanyayo, olubizwa nangokuthi uthando oluqhumisayo.

11. Egameni lokunakekelwa nokukhathazeka, bavame ukukulawula

Kukangaki umlingani wakho ethi awukuqondi ukunakekelwa nokukhathazeka kwakhe? Konke kungumdlalo wamandla nokulawula. Bangase bakuvimbele ukuthi uye endaweni yomngane wakho ngo-7 ebusuku futhi bathi yingoba bakhathalela ukuphepha kwakho nokuphila kahle.

Bangase bakuvimbele ngisho nokuvakashela esitolo sokudla ngoba besaba ukuthi ungase uhlangane nomqaphi lapho. Izibonelo ezimbalwa zokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo okuvela kuzakwethu kulo mongo zingabandakanya ukugada njalo amakholi akho efoni, imibhalo, ama-imeyili, noma ama-akhawunti enkundla yezokuxhumana, kanye nokufuna ukwazi amaphasiwedi akho noma ukuthi ukuphi ngoba “uyakukhathalela”.

Lolu hlobo lokunakekela nokukhathalela luzogcina lubophe ukuzimela kwakho, futhi lukushiye ungenamingcele yomuntu siqu. Luzokwenza uzizwe ukude namalungu omndeni wakho kanye nabathandekayo bakho. Ingabe yile ndlela obonisa ngayo umuntu ukuthi uyamkhathalela ? Umlingani wakho angase athi uyamkhathalela, kodwa ungenzi iphutha, kuyisibonakaliso esivamile sokuthi ubhekene nokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo ebuhlotsheni bakho.

12. Umjikelezo oqhubekayo wokuxolisa awunqamuki

Umlingani wakho angakushaya noma akhulume into embi bese exolisa futhi eze ekhaya nezipho futhi akukhiphele endaweni yokudlela ebizayo. Unganyakaziswa yikho. Lesi kumane kuyisiqalo somjikelezo okufanele ubhekane nawo ebudlelwaneni bakho obuhlukumezayo.

Uma umlingani wakho uthola ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba, kukwenza wesabe ukuthi bangase, noma basho into engamukeleki, udinga ukubheka njengefulegi elibomvu futhi uziqhelelanise ne. Akukho ukuxolisa okungathethelela ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo noma ubudlova obungokomzimba. Ngaphandle uma sebekulungele ukubona umeluleki, noma umeluleki womndeni futhi baxazulule inkinga, akufanele ngisho ucabange ukuthi ubanikeza ithuba lesibili.

13. Uphathina wakho uyakuhlukumeza ngokwezimali

Lokhu kungenye indlela yokuziphatha eyingozi evame ukubonakala ekulawuleni ubudlelwano ngokuphoqelela. Uma benqaba ukukuphatha njengolingana nawe ngokwezimali, kuwukuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo futhi bayakulawula. Ukuhlukumeza ngokwezezimali kuyisibonakaliso esivame ukunganakwa ebudlelwaneni. Kodwa uma umkakho echitha imali eningi ekhadini lakho lesikweletu noma uma umyeni wakho ohlukumeza ngokomzwelo ephikelela ekugcineni umholo wakho futhi akunike "imali ephaketheni" kuwo, khona-ke ngokuqinisekile kufana nokuhlukumeza ngokwezimali, okungalimaza ngokomzwelo ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.

14. Uhlala unecala ngenxa yomlingani wakho

“Ingabe ngiyisisulu sokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo?” Ukuze uthole impendulo yalo mbuzo, cabanga ngokuthi umlingani wakho ukuthumelela uhambo lwecala njalo. Uma bengakhushulelwanga emsebenzini, ingabe basola ngokuphikelela kwakho ukuthi babuyele ekhaya ngesikhathi ukuze nibe nesikhathi esihle njengombhangqwana? Uma benesiphazamiso esiswini, bayakusola yini ngokuthi ubadlise okubolile?

Uma befike sekuhlwile nabangani babo bebuye bedakiwe, bathi yingoba uke waba ngundabuzekwayo? Umdlalo wokusola awupheli futhi kulindeleke ukuthi uzizwe unecala ngakho konke. Lesi ngesinye sezimpawu ezinkulu zobudlelwano obuhlukumezayo odinga ukububona ngokushesha.

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15. Ukuhoxiswa kokusondelana

Ukuhoxisa ukusondelana ngokomzimba, uthando, kanye nokuxhumana kufika kalula kumuntu ohlukumezayo. Ngokuvamile kwenziwa njengendlela yokukujezisa. Lokhu kuwuphawu oluphelele lobudlelwano obukhohlisayo. I-hug noma isikhathi sekhwalithi yinto elula kakhulu ukuyinika umlingani. Kodwa uma begodla uthando ngamabomu futhi beqhelelane ngokomzimba, khona-ke udinga ukukunaka.

Uma umlingani wakho esho izinto ezinjengokuthi, "Awungifanele. Mhlawumbe ukube ubunake kakhulu futhi unothando, bengizozizwa ngifuna ukusondelana nawe" noma "Uyacasula. Uhlala ungithethisa noma ukhononda ngayo yonke into. Ungenza ngizizwe ngicindezelekile futhi ngithukuthele. Ukusondelana kuyinto yokugcina engqondweni yami", ngakho-ke akukhona nje ukuba nengane, kukhona okunye kukho.

16. Uyakukhohlisa

Ukuziphatha okukhohlisayo kuwuphawu lokuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo. Unquma okuthile kodwa bona bangakulawula ngendlela yokuthi ushintshe isinqumo sakho ngaphandle kokuzizwa sengathi banendima okufanele bayidlale kuso. Lokhu kuwuphawu oluyingozi lomzabalazo wamandla ebudlelwaneni.

Ukukhohlisa kungenye yezimpawu ezicashile zobudlelwane obuhlukumezayo ngokomzwelo futhi kungakhangwa kahle kakhulu ngamazwi anjengokuthi, “Uma ungithanda ngempela, ungenza [faka isicelo lapha]” noma “Ngibheke izithakazelo zakho ezihamba phambili. Ngithembe, ngiyazi okukulungele” ukuthi ubungase ulahle yonke into oyithanda kakhulu empilweni yakho awuzange ucabange ukuthi awuzange uphoqeke ukuthi uphoqeke.

17. Ikugcina uqhele ngamamitha ayi-10 empilweni yabo

Uphawu lwakudala lokuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo ukuthi uma kuziwa empilweni yakho awukwazi ukwenza lutho ngaphandle kwemvume yabo ngoba banomkhuba wokuzenza uphakeme. Ungahlangana nabangane bakho kuphela uma bekuvumela lokho. Bangagcizelela nokuza nawe ngaso sonke isikhathi. Kodwa uma kuyimpilo yabo, awufakwa isikhathi esiningi.

Awazi iningi labangane babo, abakuyise emicimbini yomndeni futhi uvalelwa ngaphandle ezinhlelweni zabo zokuhamba. Bazithengela bodwa, bazihlalele nozakwabo futhi baphila nempilo ongeyona ingxenye yayo nganoma iyiphi indlela. 

Ukufunda Okuhlobene : Indlela Yokuphuma Ebudlelwaneni Obulawulayo – Izindlela Eziyi-8 Zokugqashula

18. Izinsongo zivamile

Olunye lwezimpawu zobudlelwano obugcwele ukuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo noma umlingani ohlukumeza ngokomqondo ukuthi bakwenza uzizwe usongelwe futhi bahlale bekusola ngokuthile noma okunye. Bangase basebenzise ubudlova obungokomzimba noma izinsongo zamazwi ukuze bakwesabise, bakutshele ukuthi bazolimaza izilwane ezifuywayo noma izingane, noma bona ngokwabo ukuze bakwenze ulalele umugqa wabo. Ukukusongela kuyingxenye nengxenye ye-ecosystem yokwesaba abachumayo kuyo futhi banamandla okukugcina ungahambi ebuhlotsheni.

19. Awukho umqondo wobumfihlo

Amaqhinga ajwayeleke kakhulu ebhukwini lokudlala lezenzo zomhlukumezi ukugcina ithebhu kuwe ngokukunikeza amagama ayimfihlo nama-smartphone futhi akutshele ukuthi wenze okufanayo. Ungase ukubheke njengophawu olukhulu uthando nokwethemba kodwa uma ungeyena uhlobo nosy, ungase ungalokothi uhambe ngokusebenzisa imeyili zabo kanye amafoni. Kodwa-ke, bebezokwenza njalo, futhi uzolahlekelwa ubumfihlo bakho.

Lesi ngesinye sezimpawu ezinkulu zobudlelwano abantu abavame ukuzithethelela. Abantu abahlukumezayo abanawo umqondo wobumfihlo ngakho-ke bazoqhubeka nokukulandela ocingweni, nge-imeyili, kanye nasezinkundleni zokuxhumana. Bangakwazi ukukulandela yonke into oyenzayo, bangakuniki indawo yokuba wedwa. Uzozizwa ubhekwe amahora angu-24 ngosuku ngoba ubhekwe ngaso sonke isikhathi.

20. Kuyathandeka kakhulu kwabanye

Esinye sezibonakaliso ezinkulu zokuxhashazwa ngokwengqondo noma ngokomzwelo ukuthi umlingani wakho angakunika isihogo kodwa kungaba isibonelo esihle kwabanye abantu futhi ngeke kube yihlazo emphakathini. Encwadini ethi When I Hit You ebhalwe nguMeena Kadasamy, umhlukumezi obudlelwaneni wayengumuntu omuhle futhi omuhle kangangokuthi abazali bomfazi babengeke baqiniseke ngohlobo lwesihogo ayekwazi ukulusebenzisa uhlobo lwesimo sokuxhashazwa ngokomzwelo ayekwazi ukusidalela indodakazi yabo. Ngakho-ke, uma ubona ukukhanga okuningi, qaphela.

Okufanele ngikwenze?

Uma ubhekana nokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo ebuhlotsheni obuseduze, ungase uzizwe udidekile, wethukile, noma ungenathemba. Kodwa awuwedwa, futhi ungathatha izinyathelo zokuzivikela futhi welaphe ekuhlukunyezweni. Nazi ezinye izinto ongazenza uma uhlukumezekile emoyeni:

• Funda ukubona izimpawu zokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo futhi uqonde ukuthi awunacala ngezenzo zomhlukumezi. Ikakhulukazi uma kunezimpawu ezicashile zobudlelwane obuhlukumezayo ngokomzwelo
• Zibeke wena kuqala futhi unakekele impilo yakho engokomzimba nengokwengqondo ngokulala kahle, ukudla okunempilo, ukuhlala umatasa, nokwenza izinto ezikulethela injabulo.
• Xhumana nenethiwekhi yakho yokwesekwa, njengelungu lomndeni kanye nabathandekayo noma uchwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo osekelayo. Ungakwazi futhi ukushayela ucingo inombolo yosizo noma ujoyine iqembu lokusekela labantu abaye bahlukumezeka ngokomzwelo noma iqembu labameli abaqeqeshiwe. 
• Misa imikhawulo nomhlukumezi futhi ugweme ukuthintana naye kakhulu ngangokunokwenzeka
• Lungiselela ukuphepha nenhlalakahle yakho, ikakhulukazi uma ukhetha ukuqeda lolu hlobo lobudlelwano. Ungabheka usizo lwezomthetho, usizo lwezezimali, noma indawo evikelekile yokuhlala
• Yakha ukuzethemba kwakho nokuzethemba, okungenzeka ukuthi kulinyazwe ukuhlukunyezwa. Ungasebenzisa izitatimende ezakhayo, uphonsele inselelo imicabango engemihle, noma uthole amakhono amasha
• Bhekana nemizwa nokuhlukumezeka kwakho okungase kuhlanganise intukuthelo, ukudabuka, ukwesaba, umuzwa wecala, noma amahloni. Ungasebenzisa izindlela ezinempilo zokubhekana nesimo esinjengokubhala, ukuzindla, ukuvivinya umzimba ukuphefumula, ukuzinakekela noma izindawo zokusungula.
• Sukuma ekuhlukunyezweni futhi uqhubekele phambili nempilo yakho. Ungagxila ezifisweni zakho, amaphupho, nezinkanuko. Ungakwazi futhi funa usizo lochwepheshe ukuphulukisa ukuhlukumezeka kwakho futhi ubuyisele ithemba lakho kuwena nakwabanye

Uma usengozini esheshayo, shayela u-9-1-1.

Ngosizo olungaziwa, oluyimfihlo, 24/7, sicela ushayele Inombolo Kazwelonke Yodlame Lwasekhaya kokuthi 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) noma 1-800-787-3224 (TTY).

Uma ucabanga ukuthi lezi zimpawu zifana kakhulu nobudlelwano bakho, ungazivumeli zishelele ngoba ziwukuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo - khuluma nomuntu ongasiza, mhlawumbe ilungu lomndeni noma umngane omethembayo. Uma ubudlelwano bukudala izinkinga zempilo kanye/noma buthinta umsebenzi noma ukufunda kwakho, impilo yansuku zonke, nobudlelwano obuseduze, akulungile ukubambelela kukho. Khuluma nomuntu omethembayo uthole indlela yokuphuma kulobu budlelwano obukuqeda amandla. Ubudlelwano kufanele bukuphakamisa, bungakusindisi. Ungalindi ukuthi izimpawu ziphenduke zibe izibani ze-neon ngaphambi kokufuna usizo.

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