Akuwona wonke umshado noma isekhondi ngalinye lomshado ongazizwa njengenjabulo kusukela lapho uthi, 'Ngiyakwenza'. Izingcindezi zempilo yomshado, ukuguquguquka kobudlelwane nothando oludlulayo kungenza umuntu azizwe sengathi usemshadweni ongasebenzi kahle.
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi seniyekile ukuthumelelana imiyalezo mayelana nosuku lwakho lapho usemsebenzini, noma akusabonakali ucansi noma ukuxabana okungapheli ubusuku bonke, ungaba semshadweni ophezu kwedwala.
Uyini Umshado Ongasebenzi?
Okuqukethwe
Umshado ojabulisayo ungowokuqondana okukhulu, ukuzibophezela, uthando kanye nokuvuleleka. Yiqiniso, ngisho nasemishadweni ejabulisa kakhulu, akuyona into yansuku zonke ephelele futhi kunezingxabano eziningi, izingxabano kanye nobuhlungu.
Nokho, incazelo yomshado engasebenzi ikude nalokho. Emshadweni ongasebenzi kahle, izindinganiso eziwumgogodla zokuzibophezela, ukuqonda nokukhulumisana ziyashabalala. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi lokhu kwenziwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, noma lezi izindinganiso umuntu angakaze azihlakulele ebudlelwaneni bakhe, umshado ongasebenzi kahle ungathatha umonakalo kuwe njengomuntu nanjengozakwethu. Funda isigameko esilandelayo ukuze uqonde kangcono ithiyori yobudlelwano obungasebenzi kahle.
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Izingxabano Zomshado Ezingasebenzi
Kwakungo-2.30 ekuseni ngesikhathi kufika ucingo lwakhe, ludlikiza ngaphansi kwami ngilele embhedeni. Umyeni wami wayelele phezu kwami. Wathi ucingo lwabe luyingozi nje, kodwa ngangazi ukuthi akulona iqiniso. Uthe ubengamazi ngisho kahle. Kodwa isithombe sakhe, enezinwele zakhe ezigelezayo, indandatho yekhala kanye nama-aviator amnyama ahlala egxilile engqondweni yami njengoba ecisha inkanuko yakhe.
Umyeni wami wayedakiwe futhi ngangingafuni ukuthi aqhubeke nengxabano noma abe nobudlova. Ngathula ngazenza ngathi ngihlala ngenza. Uthando lwethu olungasebenzi lwalungelona udaba kimi. Wayengazi, kwakunesiphepho ngaphakathi kimi.
Ngike ngaba nezinkinga zokulawula intukuthelo futhi ngelulekwa ukuthi ngizijwayeze amasu okuphefumula ngokujulile futhi yilokho kanye engakuqala ukukwenza lapho umyeni wami eqala ukukhononda. Wayefuna ukufakazela umhlaba ukuthi ubuntu bami obusobala obuthinta imizwa yibo obabuyinkinga.
Izimbangela Ezivamile Zezingxabano Zomshado
Ziningana izici ezinomthelela ezingxabanweni zomshado, okuhlanganisa:
- Ukuhlukaniswa Kwezokuxhumana: Ukukhulumisana okungasebenzi kungaholela ekungaqondani nasekucasukeni.
- Ukucindezeleka Kwezezimali: Ukungaboni ngaso linye mayelana nokusetshenziswa kwezimali, ukonga, nezinto eziza kuqala ngokwezezimali kungaphazamisa ubudlelwano.
- Izinkinga Zokusondelana: Ukuntula ukusondelana ngokomzimba noma ngokomzwelo kungase kubangele imizwa yokunganakwa.
- Umehluko Okulindelekile: Imigomo yempilo engaqondile noma okulindelwe kungadala ukungezwani phakathi kozakwethu.
Waqala kanjalo-ke umdlalo wokusola ebudlelwaneni bethu obungasebenzi kahle
Intukuthelo yomyeni wami yathatha isikhathi.
“Angikaze ngibe nenkinga ngesikhathi ubuya emaphathini ngo-3 ekuseni.”
-Awuzange ungithathe noma ungibuyise, wawucele ukuthi ngikwenze ngedwa.
“Abangane bakho besilisa ababili bakushayele ucingo ebusuku.”
Ngithanda nje ukuveza ukuthi kwakuwucingo olulodwa olwenzeka eminyakeni eyisishiyagalombili edlule. Umngane wami wayelwa nesifiso sokuzibulala futhi weza kimi, azi ukuthi ngingumuntu ongalali kahle. Esinye senzeke eminyakeni embalwa edlule, evela kuzakwethu. Saba nesethulo ngakusasa ekuseni futhi wayedinga ukuphothula uhlelo lwephrojekthi futhi imvume yami yayidingeka.
“I-ex yakho eyakulaxaza iyisidididi nayo mubi,” kuqhubeka umyeni wami.
-Lowo mfana kwakungeyona ngisho ne-ex yami. Bengingathanda yena. Akusebenzanga ngaleso sikhathi. Ngaphezu kwalokho, indlela umuntu abukeka ngayo ayibalulekile neze kimi; yinhliziyo ebalulekile.
"Uyaphikisana futhi uyalwa, nondindwa. Uyihlanya. I-sociopath."
Lesi sigameko singiphathe kabi ngathula. Bengingakakhulumi lutho, bengizilalele nje umyeni wami.
“Abafowenu bayimibukiso futhi bayiziphukuphuku.”
Omunye wabafowethu abancane ungudokotela ophumelelayo. Wenza ukuhlinzwa okungu-7-8 ngosuku. Omunye ube ngowokuqala ezivivinyweni zakhe zebhodi. Umyeni wami unomona futhi uhlala ebahlasela – izinsika zamandla ami.
“Uyihlo yindoda ekhohlakalayo, uyisixhwanguxhwangu esinezindaba eziningi.
Ngike ngalinyazwa umshado ongasebenzi kahle wabazali bami futhi ngangihlanganyele usizi lwami nomyeni wami. Ingabe umlando kababa wawugunyaza ukudlala komyeni wami phakathi kwamabili noma emini 'okungenangozi'?
Nokho, lokhu akukona ngisho ukudlala ngothando, ngobuchwepheshe, ngicabanga. Kodwa siyazi futhi siyaqonda, lapho imigqa inqanyulwa, akunjalo?
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Ukuntuleka kokukhulumisana okunempilo
Ngamshaya ngempama ethukuthele wathula umzuzu owodwa noma emibili. Kaningi ngangidinga ukumshaya ukuze ngimthulise noma wayekhuluma izinto eziningi ezibuhlungu kimi engapheli. Nokho, akazange angishaye ngokuqondile emshadweni wethu ongasebenzi kahle.
Kwakungeyena yedwa, intombazane eyayifake indandatho ekhaleni. Ngangivame ukubona umyeni wami “ekhululeka ngokwedlulele” nabangane bami abangashadile, eba ihlombe labo ukuba bakhale kulo. Futhi labo besifazane abangabangane bami bagcina benomona ngami ngokuba 'nensizwa enhle', kuyilapho empeleni bebengenalwazi ngothando olunobuthi nokungasebenzi kahle kulo muzi.
“Umshado omnandi awubi lapho ‘umbhangqwana ophelele’ uhlangana ndawonye. Kulapho umbhangqwana ongaphelele ufunda ukujabulela ukungezwani kwawo.”
- UDave Meurer
Angazi ukuthi indaba yami imayelana nani, ngaphandle kokuthi ngingowesifazane oqeqeshiwe oqine ngokwedlulele, onobuthakathaka kunesitshalo se-tendril ezweni lakhe lomuntu siqu lothando olungasebenzi kanye nomshado omubi.
Ngezinye izikhathi lapho izimpi ekhaya ziba zimbi kakhulu, ngangishaya umyeni wami, ngoba wayesebenzisa le ndlela yokukhuluma amazwi abuhlungu . Lokhu kwenzeka kakhulu lapho ngiphatheke kabi. Wayengibamba ngokomzwelo ekhaya. Wazama ngazo zonke izindlela ukubulala zonke izinkanuko zami, futhi wangilulaza. Ngabhekana nalokhu ngokulwa ngakho wahlala phansi wayeka.
Indaba yothando olungasebenzi
Siselapha. Izingane zethu ziyazesaba izinkinga zasekhaya. Angikwazi ukuzibamba ngemuva kwephuzu futhi umyeni wami uyadlala ngalokho. Emhlabeni, yimina ophikisanayo futhi uhlala eyikhasimende elipholile. Akekho owaziyo ngezingxabano zethu ezingasebenzi futhi abanye abantu baze bacabangele umshado wethu. Abazi ukuthi umhlaba wethu uhlakazeke kangakanani.
Ngobunye ubusuku, ungivusa ebuthongweni - ukuya ocansini noma ukulwa. Ngiyabanda, ngiyagodola futhi ngiyathula izikhathi eziningi. Ngivame ukucabanga ngokuzibulala. Ngezinye izikhathi, ngiyahamba ngigoqe ijoyinti buthule. Sengike ngabhema insangu ngasese.
Ngiyalulangazelela uthando, kodwa nginezinkinga zokwethembana manje. Ngivale leya ndlu ebona uthando. Ngilinde izingane zethu ziye enyuvesi ngaphambi kokuba ngenze noma yini embi. Eminye iminyaka emine nje. Mhlawumbe ngilindile, ngethemba ukuthi umyeni wami uzoshintsha. Ngiyamthanda umyeni wami futhi ngiyazi ukuthi naye uyangithanda kodwa lolu thando olunobuthi lwansuku zonke nokungasebenzi kahle emshadweni wethu ngeke kusaqhubeka.
Uma usemshadweni ongasebenzi kahle okukukhathazayo, sicela uxhumane nochwepheshe bethu . Ukwelulekwa kobudlelwano ku-inthanethi kuzokusiza uthole injabulo empilweni yakho. Ungasebenzisa lezi zinsizakalo ngamanani aphansi kakhulu usekhaya lakho ngocingo lwe-WhatsApp, ucingo lwe-Skype, i-Google Hangout, i-Zoom, noma indlela yakho yokuxhumana oyithandayo.
Njengoba kutshelwe uJoie Bose
Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa
1. Yiziphi izimpawu zomshado ongasebenzi kahle?
Izimpikiswano ezingapheli zobudlelwano , ukuhlukumeza, ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba, ukungachithi isikhathi ndawonye kanye nokuntuleka kocansi konke kungakhomba icala lobudlelwano obungasebenzi kahle.
2. Ingabe umshado ongasebenzi kahle ungalungiswa?
Nakanjani. Uma umuntu ethatha isinyathelo esifanele ekuqondeni nasekuxazululeni izinkinga ezinkulu, uthando lwakho olungasebenzi lungaba uthando olujabulisayo. Zama ukukhuluma ngezinkinga ngokuzola kuqala futhi wenze uhlelo lokusebenza lokuthi ungavuselela kanjani uthando futhi wakhe umshado ongcono. Uma lokho kungasebenzi, sebenzisa izindlela ezifanele njengokwelulekwa ukuze uthole usizo olukhulu.
Imicabango Final
Ukuhlala emshadweni ongasebenzi kahle ogcwele izingxabano kungaba yinselele futhi kulimaza inhlalakahle yomuntu. Kodwa-ke, ngokuzibophezela, ukukhulumisana okuvulekile, kanye nokuzimisela ukufuna usizo, imibhangqwana ingasebenzela ekuxazululeni izingxabano futhi yakhe kabusha ubudlelwano obunempilo nobanelisayo. Uma uzithola ubhekene nezingxabano zomshado, cabanga ngokuxhumana nomeluleki wethu womshado onelayisensi noma uchwepheshe wezokwelapha . Isiqondiso sochwepheshe singakunikeza ukuqonda okubalulekile namasu afanele isimo sakho esiyingqayizivele.
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