Ko te aroha ki tētahi tangata inu waipiro ka rite ki te pūtake o ngā whanaungatanga tino pōrearea. Kei te ruarua tonu koe i waenga i te noho hei tautoko i a rātou me te tiaki i ō ake hiahia. He uaua rawa tēnei tautohetohe mō te noho tonu me te whawhai ki tā rātou whawhai, te neke atu rānei me te whakahoki mai i tō oranga. Ki te aroha koe ki tētahi tangata inu waipiro, ka huri wawe tō oranga katoa.
Ko te hunga kua aroha ki tētahi tangata inu waipiro – ā, kua noho tahi rātou – e mōhio ana rātou ka pā kino rawa atu ō rātou uauatanga ki a koe. E kore e kore ka kite koe i a koe anō e pāngia ana e ngā hua o ā rātou mahi. Ehara i te mea nāu te he, ka kapi koe i te whakaaro hara me te kawenga e kore e taea te whakangaueue.
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He mea nui te mōhio ki te wāhi hei aukati i te tangata inu waipiro, me te wā hoki hei whakamutu i te inu waipiro, kia kore ai e tino pōrearea tō oranga. Engari, koinei ngā mea e rua e pāngia ana e te nuinga o te tangata. te whanaungatanga ki ngā tāngata waranga te mea tino uaua ki te mahi.
E kī ana ōu hunga e hiahia ana kia ora koe, kaua rawa e aroha ki tētahi tangata inu waipiro i a koe e kore e mōhio me pēhea te whakahaere i tō whanaungatanga ki tētahi tangata inu waipiro. Ki te mea kei te aroha koe ki tētahi tangata inu waipiro, kimihia me pēhea e taea ai e koe te whakamana i a koe anō mā te whakarerekē i tō waiaro me tō huarahi ki tō whanaungatanga.
Ka taea te aroha ki te tangata inu waipiro?
Ripanga o Ihirangi
Mena he tangata inu nui tō hoa, ā, kua tīmata taua āhua ki te pā kino ki tō oranga, kāore e kore kei te inu koe i te waipiro. te whakaipoipo i tētahi tangata inu waipiroEngari kaua e whakakahore i tēnei mooni, me arotahi koe ki te kimi mehemea ka taea te aroha ki tētahi tangata inu waipiro.
Ahakoa te nui o tō aroha i tēnei rā, kāore e taea te hanga hononga hauora ki tētahi tangata inu waipiro. Nā te mea ko te waipiro tonu tā rāua arotahi matua. Mēnā ka inu koe i tētahi pounamu waipiro e whai ake nei, ka haurangi koe, ā, ka hokihoki anō. Ka arahi pea tēnei ki te paitini hohonu i roto i tō whanaungatanga.
Ahakoa ka roa te whanaungatanga, e kore rawa e whai hua. Ko ētahi o ngā take e kore ai e taea te aroha ki te tangata inu waipiro:
1. Ko te aroha ki te tangata inu waipiro he tikanga mō te kore pumau
Ko te mea kotahi e pā ana ki te whanaungatanga e te tangata inu waipiro ko te kore pumau. Kei te whakamahere koe ki te haere ki tētahi pāti, ki te hararei, ki tētahi tina māmā rānei, ā, ka taea e tō hoa inu waipiro te huri i te mea katoa mā te haurangi rawa. Ko te mea kino rawa atu, tera pea kāore rātou e kaha ki te haere tahi me koe.
He whakaaturanga nui tāu āpōpō, ā, ka akiakihia koe kia puta i tō moenga i te 2 karaka i te ata ki te kawe mai i tō hoa rangatira ki te kāinga i te hōhipera, i te whare herehere rānei. Mēnā rānei ka karanga koe i ō hoa, ka haurangi rawa tō hoa rangatira, ā, ka hanga he ngangau.
Ka kite koe i te āhua o te pakaru o ngā āhuatanga katoa o tō oranga ina aroha koe ki tētahi tangata inu waipiro. Kāore he huarahi e taea ai e koe te hanga i tētahi hononga hauora he oranga pai rānei mōu i roto i ēnei āhuatanga. Koia te take e mea tonu ai te tuhituhi i te pakitara, "Kaua rawa e aroha ki te tangata inu waipiro".
2. Ngā tūponotanga o te whakawhirinaki tahi
Ki te noho te waranga, ka whai ake te whakawhirinaki tahi. Kāore he huarahi kē atu e ora ai te hoa kore-waipiro i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga ngoikore pēnei. Hei whakatau i ngā āhuatanga katoa te kore pumau me te paitini, ka tīmata koe ki te huna i ngā mahi a tō hoa inu waipiro. I roto i te whakaaetanga, kāore i te mōhio ka taea e koe te whakahohe i ā rātou whanonga.
Ā, ka tīmata te porowhita kino. I roto i te wā, tēnei whakawhirinakitanga tahi ka pāngia tō whakapono ki a koe anō me tō whakaaro nui ki a koe anō. Kāore e taea e koe te kī mēnā e aroha ana koe ki te tangata, e noho tahi ana rānei me ia, nā te mea kua ngaro i a koe te kaha ki te tautuhi i ō kare ā-roto me te hiahia ki te whakatau i a koe anō.
Nō reira, ehara i te mea ko te pātai anake he taea te aroha ki te tangata inu waipiro, engari he pai anō hoki te aroha ki te tangata inu waipiro. Me whakaaroaro roa koe mō tēnei kōwhiringa oranga.
3. Mā te tukino ka mutu te inu waipiro
AbuseAhakoa he kōrero, he tinana, he moepuku rānei, he mea horapa i roto i ngā whanaungatanga e pāngia ana tētahi o ō hoa e te mate whakamahi waipiro (AUD). Ka taea e te tukino a te tangata e arohaina ana e koe te wawahi i a koe. Kāore he take mō tēnei mahi.
Mena kei te pāngia koe e te tukino nā te waranga a tō hoa, kia mōhio koe ka taea e koe te whakapā atu ki te ratonga āwhina mō te tukinoHe mea maori te wehi ki te wehe atu i tētahi tangata e whakaatu ana i ngā whanonga tukino.
Ka taea hoki e te tukino tonu te pakaru i tō whakaaro mōu ake, tae noa ki te wā ka tīmata koe ki te whakapono kāore koe e tika kia whakautehia. Engari mā te āwhina tika, ka taea e koe – ā, me – huri i tētahi atu whārangi.
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4. Ka taea rānei te aroha ki tētahi tangata inu waipiro ina pakaru tō whakawhirinakitanga?
Tērā pea ka teka tō hoa inu waipiro. Tērā pea ka tahae. Kāore e taea e rātou te whakatutuki i ā rātou kupu whakaari. Kāore e taea e koe te whakawhirinaki ki a rātou mō tetahi mea. Ina puta noa mai ēnei mea, take whakawhirinaki uru atu ki roto i tō kōrua whanaungatanga.
E taea rānei te aroha ki tētahi tangata inu waipiro ina kua pakaru tonu tō whakawhirinaki? Kāore rawa. Ki te kore rātou e rapu āwhina, e noho mārire hoki, e kore tēnei tauira e rerekē. Me pēhea rā e taea ai e koe te tumanako kia whai whanaungatanga ora, kia ora?
He tino uaua ki te whakahaere i te aroha ki tētahi tangata inu waipiro, inā koa ka ka pakaru te whakawhirinaki mā te tinihanga or te puremu moni, he mea e tino pāngia ana e te hunga inu waipiro.
5. He aroha anō rānei?
Tērā pea ka hoatu e koe ki a koe anō he mano ngā take kāore he pānga o ēnei tohu kino. Tērā pea kei te whakapono koe he nui rawa tō aroha ki a rātou, kāore e taea e koe te wehe atu. He pai ake rānei te noho i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga uaua i te noho mokemoke. Kua whakatau pea koe ki te noho tonu hei whakamana i te oati 'ahakoa pai, ahakoa kino'.
Kāore e kore, ko te kōwhiringa kia noho tonu, kia whakarē rānei i tētahi hoa inu waipiro, nāu anake. Heoi anō, i te wā e whai ake nei ka whakaaroaro koe ki tēnei kōwhiringa, whakaarohia mēnā he aroha tonu ina:
- Kāore koe e whiwhi whakaute, manaaki me te tautoko mai i tō hoa
- Kei te whakararu koe i tō haumaru mā te whakamanawanui ki te tukino
- Te mōrearea o ngā kare ā-roto, ā-ira tangata me te taha pūtea whakaponokore nui te āhua
- Kua wehea koe i ētahi atu whanaungatanga nui
- Kei roto koe i tētahi whanaungatanga e kī ana i te ahotea, te manukanuka me te hara
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He aha e kore ai e taea e te tangata inu waipiro te aroha mai ki a koe?
Ahakoa ōna ngoikoretanga me ōna ngoikoretanga, tera pea kei te aroha koe ki tētahi tangata inu waipiro. E aroha ana rānei tō hoa ki a koe? He uaua pea te titiro ki te āhuatanga me te kore aroha ina kua pāngia kē koe e ngā raruraru maha o tō oranga whaiaro, i ia rā, i ia rā.
Engari me arotake e koe, kia whiwhi ai koe i tētahi tirohanga pono mō te heke mai o tō whanaungatanga me tētahi e pāngia ana e te waranga waipiro.
Ko tētahi o ngā take e kore ai e taea e te tangata inu waipiro te aroha mai ki a koe, nā te mea ko te pounamu te aroha tuatahi – me te aroha kotahi – o rātou. Ka ara ake tēnei i te maha o ngā raruraru whanonga:
- Kāore e taea e te tangata inu waipiro te whakarite i te whanaungatanga ki te mea nui, ahakoa e hiahia ana ia. Ko tā rātou hiahia ki te tiki i tā rātou rongoā e whai ake nei, me te noho haurangi, ka nui ake i ngā mea katoa o tōna ao. Ki te whiriwhiri i waenga i a koe me taua pounamu, ka whiriwhiria e rātou te mea whakamutunga me te kore e mataku. Koia te take e kore ai e taea e te tangata inu waipiro te aroha ki a koe.
- Tērā pea ka tīmata tō hoa ki te whakaaro ko ō kupu whakahē me ō mahi hei aukati i a rātou kei inu waipiro he mea whakapataritari. I te nuinga o te wā, ka arahi pea tēnei ki tūkino me te tutu. Ko te tangata e whakamamae ana i te tinana, i te hinengaro rānei ki tētahi atu tangata, kāore e taea te aroha.
- Hei pupuri i tā rāua hoa, ka wehea pea rāua e te tangata inu waipiro mō ngā reo whakaaro nui i roto i tōna ao. I mua i tō mōhio, kua iti haere tō ao ki a kōrua anake me tō hoa. Tērā pea ka kī atu rātou nā te mea he nui kōrua mō tētahi ki tētahi. Inaa, kei te mahi rātou mai i tētahi te wāhi o te hiahia whaiaro ā, ehara i te aroha
- Tērā pea ka pēhia koe ki te inu tahi hei whakatau i te hoa inu waipiro me ngā raruraru maha e pā mai ana ki tētahi whanaungatanga pēnei. Ko te tōia ki raro i tētahi atu tangata ehara i te mahi aroha. He maha ngā tāngata kua waranga ki te waipiro ka whakauru i ā rātou hoa ki taua mea anō, i mua i te mōhio kei te whai rātou i a rātou ki te whakaora. He mārama tēnei e aro nui ana rātou ki te whanaungatanga i te taha o te pounamu, kaua ki te whanaungatanga.
- Tērā pea kei te aroha koe ki te whakaaro o te tangata inu waipiro ka hurihia e koe tōna ao. Engari ko te nuinga o te hunga inu waipiro kua tino piri ki roto i tō rātou ao o te waranga - ahakoa te taahitanga wahine, rongoā tarukino tētahi atu momo waranga rānei e hiahia ana rātou kia uru koe ki roto i tō rātou ao, kaua e whakapau kaha ki te huri
- Ina haurangi, ka moe noa te tangata inu waipiro, ka uru atu rānei ki ngā mahi moepuku. Kāore rātou e mangere ki te tinihanga i a koe mō te moni, ki te tahae rānei i a koe mēnā koinā te mea e tika ana kia mahia e rātou kia mau tonu ai ā rātou putunga waipiro. Ka taea rānei te whakatakoto i tētahi whanaungatanga kī tonu i te teka me te tinihanga i runga i te aroha?
8 Ngā Mea Me Mōhio Koe Mēnā Kei te Aroha Koe Ki Te Tangata Waipiro
Ko te whiwhi i te āwhina e tika ana me te whakamātau i te āhua o te tangata he mana motuhake me te kawenga anake a tō hoa. Kāore e taea e koe te whiriwhiri i tēnā mō rātou, kāore hoki e taea e rātou te whai i te tukanga mēnā kāore rātou e hiahia. Engari ko tāu e taea ko te whakahoki mai i te mana whakahaere o tō oranga mā te whakarerekē i tō tirohanga ki tēnei whanaungatanga.
Hei whakatutuki i tēnā, anei ngā mea e waru me mōhio koe mēnā kei te aroha koe ki tētahi tangata inu waipiro:
1. Kati te hara
Ko te whakapae i tōna hoa rangatira, i ngā tāngata rānei e karapoti ana i a ia, i ō rātou āhuatanga rānei ina whakawakia mō ōna hiahia ki te inu nui, he whanonga noa tēnei a te tangata waranga waipiro.
'E inu ana ahau nā te mea kua meinga e koe tōku ao kia rite ki te reinga.'
Or
'Me i kore koe e tino whakatoi i ahau, kua mutu taku inu waipiro.'
Ina rongo koe i ēnei mea i ngā wā katoa, tera pea ka tīmata tētahi wāhanga o koe ki te whakapono ki aua mea. Kaua e whai i taua ara. Whakaorangia koe i ngā haerenga whakama me ngā pō kore moe mā te whakamahara i a koe anō kei te pāngia tō hoa e tētahi mate hauora.
Kāore he mea e taea e koe te mahi hei whakanui ake, hei whakapai ake rānei i tōna āhua. Ka inu tonu rātou ahakoa te āhua, mena kāore rātou e rapu āwhina.
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2. Kaua e huna i ō rātou āhua
Ka hoki anō tātou ki te take o te whakawhirinakitanga tahi me te whanonga whakamana, nā te mea koinei ngā hua kino rawa atu o te aroha ki he waipiroI te nuinga o te wā, kāore te tangata e waranga ana ki te waipiro e hiahia kia mōhiotia whānuitia te āhua o tōna āhua. E rua ngā take – te whakama me te whakama e pā ana ki tēnā, me te mataku kei ngana te hunga e mōhio ana ki tā rātou waranga ki te āwhina.
Hei hoa rangatira mā rātou, e tumanako ana rātou kia uru atu koe ki tēnei mea ngaro iti nei ā rātou, kia mau tonu ai. Tērā pea ka tono atu rātou kia whakamāramahia e koe mēnā kāore rātou e kaha ki te haere ki te mahi, ki te pupuri rānei i ngā mahi pāpori. Mēnā rānei, ka huna i ngā whanonga hē nā te nui rawa o te waipiro, he mea kotahi noa iho.
Kia maumahara mā te mahi i tēnei, ehara i te mea kei te āwhina koe i a rātou, engari kei te whakakaha noa i ō rātou hiahia waipiro. Ko te huarahi pono me te tuwhera te huarahi pai ki te whakatau i te waranga o tō hoa.
3. Kāore e taea e koe te whakaora i te waranga o tō hoa
Ko te mate waipiro, e kiia nei ko te mate whakamahi waipiro (AUD) i roto i ngā kupu hauora, he mate haere tonu, he mate mau tonu. Ki te kore koe he tohunga hauora whai whakangungu, kāore e taea e koe te rongoā. Nō reira, kaua e amo i taua kawenga.
Ka pā kino pea te whakamutu i te inu waipiro ki te hauora o te tangata kua taunga ki te inu nui. Ka rerekē ngā pānga taha mai i te korenga o te moe ki ngā mate haurangi, tae atu ki te mate i ngā wā tino kino. Me whai ārahi me te tautoko a te kaitohutohu mō te waranga ki te ara ora.
Ko tāu e taea ai ko te ako mō te āhua o te haerenga ki te noho mārire, me ngā wāhanga rerekē ka pā ki tō hoa, mēnā ka whakatau rātou ki te noho mārire. Mā tēnei, ka pai ake tō rite ki te aro atu ki ngā huringa o ō rātou āhua. Me te tautoko hoki i a rātou kia noho mārire, kia noho mārire hoki.
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4. Kāore hoki e taea e koe te whakahaere
Mā te mātakitaki i te tangata e arohaina ana e koe e whakangaro ana i tōna oranga me tōna hauora mā te inu waipiro ka waiho koe hei āwangawanga me te pouri. Nō reira, he tokomaha te hunga e ngana ana ki te akiaki i ā rātou hoa inu waipiro kia mutu te inu waipiro. Engari, kāore tēnei huarahi e angitu.
Ka anake kia tawhiti tō hoa me te tū motuhake. Ki te mōhio te tangata waranga ka riri koe i tana inu, ka tīmata rātou ki te inu puku, ka whakamahi rānei i te riri me te tutu hei whakamutu i a koe kia ngohengohe. Ahakoa te uaua ki te whakaae, ko te huarahi pai rawa atu i tēnei āhuatanga ko te kore e mahi i tetahi mea.
Me tae te tangata waranga ki te hohonu rawa i mua i te whakaae he raruraru tā rātou, ā, e hiahia ana ki te āwhina.
5. Tukua rātou kia tūtaki ki tētahi raruraru
Ina aroha koe ki tētahi tangata inu waipiro, ka noho hei tikanga tūturu māu te tiaki i a ia. Ahakoa, te whakaora i a ia i a ia anō. Heoi, he āhuatanga anō tēnei e āhei ai ia ki te whakahaere i āna whanonga raruraru. Kaua e waiho hei pou tautoko i tētahi tangata inu waipiro kia puta i ngā raruraru o tōna ao.
Ki te pāngia tō hoa e te DUI, ki te hopukina rānei ia mō te whawhai, ki te panaia rānei i tana mahi, tukua ia kia whakahaere i ēnei hua o āna mahi. He tino uaua ki te tū noa me te mātakitaki i tō hoa e uaua ana ki te whakatau i te raruraru e pā ana ki tōna ao. He taahiraa nui tēnei i te ara ki te ora.
Nō reira, tukua ngā mea kia neke haere noa atu. Kōrero atu ki tō hoa rangatira kei a ia anake. Ko reira anake ka taea e koe te tumanako ka whakatau ia ki te oho ake.
6. Kia pono ō tumanakohanga
'He mea mōrearea te inu nui. Me mutu.' Tērā pea ka whakaaro koe, tae noa ki te pōuri, he aha te take e kore ai e mārama tō hoa ki tētahi mea ngāwari pēnei. Engari me mārama koe he wero pea tēnei mea e ahua māmā noa ana māu mō tō hoa.
Kāore e taea e rātou te whakakore i tō rātou whakawhirinaki ki te waipiro. Nō reira, ahakoa ka oati tō hoa ka mutu tā rātou inu waipiro, ā, ka tutuki hoki taua oati mō ētahi rā, kaua e tino tumanako. Ka hoki anō rātou ki te inu waipiro. Ka tīmata anō te inu waipiro. Me rapu āwhina mai i ngā rauemi tika pēnei i te Alcoholics Anonymous, he kaitohutohu waranga, he pokapū whakakore waranga, he wāhi whakaora rānei, koinei anake te huarahi hei ora ake i te AUD.
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7. Kaua e aro ki ngā whanonga kāore e whakaaetia
Ka taea e te waranga te arahi ki ngā whanonga whakararuraru maha i roto i te tangata e pāngia ana. Mai i te huri-whakapae ki ngā whakapae, ki te tahae, ki te teka, ki te tinihanga, ki te riri me te tukino – he whānui rawa te whānuitanga. Ina pāngia koe e ēnei wheako mamae, he mea maori noa iho te whakaaro he aha te kore e taea e te tangata inu waipiro te aroha ki a koe pērā i tō aroha ki a rātou.
Ahakoa te nui o tō aroha me tō manaaki i tō hoa, kia maumahara kāore koe e whakaae ki ngā whanonga kāore e manakohia ana e rātou. Kāore he whanaungatanga e tika ana mō tō whakaaro nui ki a koe anō me tō haumaru.
Mā te manawanui ki te whakaekenga o ō rātou paitini, kei te whakakaha noa koe i ō rātou āhua raruraru.
8. Me āwhina anō hoki koe
Mena kua roa koe e mahi tahi ana me tētahi hoa inu waipiro me ngā āhuatanga raruraru katoa e pā mai ana, tera pea he uaua te rapu āwhina. Ko te mahi tuatahi ko te whakaae kei te pāngia koe e tō oranga me tētahi tangata inu waipiro. Kātahi ka whakatau ki te huri i te āhua mōu ake.
au noa He puna tautoko nui tēnei mō te whānau me ngā whanaunga o te hunga e whakamahi ana i te waipiro. Mā te whakapuaki i ō whakaaro, ō uauatanga me ō herenga ki ētahi atu he rite tonu ō rātou wheako ka taea te whakamana me te whakarerekē i tō oranga. Ka āwhina i a koe ki te kite mārama ake i ngā mea ka taea i te heke mai.
Mena kua pāngia tō hinengaro e te aroha ki tētahi tangata inu waipiro, whakaarohia te rapu āwhina mai i tētahi kaiwhakatakoto whakaaro ngaio. Mā te kōwhiringa o te tohutohu hiko, ehara i te mea he utu iti noa te āwhina engari he mea noa iho. pawhiri atu.
Āhea te wā tika hei whakarērea te inu waipiro?
Mena he uaua te noho tahi me tētahi tangata waranga, ko te tūponotanga ka pāngia koe e whakarērea te tangata inu waipiro Ka nui ake te mataku o te hoa. Ahakoa te uaua o te whakatau, me whakatau pea tēnei i tētahi wā hei painga mō tō haumaru, tō hinengaro pai, me tō oranga ngākau.
Anei ētahi āhuatanga e tika ai kia whakarērea e koe te hoa inu waipiro, ka neke atu:
- Kua tīmata tā rātou waranga ki te pā kino ki a koe. Ko ētahi o ngā tohu mārama o tēnei ko: Kei te pāngia koe e te manukanuka, te pouri, te PTSD rānei. Kei te arai tā rātou waranga i tō oranga mahi, i tō oranga pāpori rānei. Kei te whanake koe i ngā raruraru waranga. Kei reira nga raru tahua i roto i tō oranga. Kei te wareware koe ki te tiaki i a koe anō
- Ko tā tō hoa mahi anake he tohu o ngā kupu whakaari kua kore e tutuki, engari kāore ia e whakaatu ana i te hiahia ki te rapu āwhina, ki te mutu rānei i te inu waipiro.
- Ina haurangi, ka tūpono tō hoa ki tō haumaru, ki tōna ake haumaru rānei. Te taraiwa haurangi, te uru ki ngā pakanga, te whakaatu i ngā whanonga tutu, tukino rānei ki a koe.
- Nā te aroha ki tētahi tangata inu waipiro kāore e taea e koe te tiaki i a koe anō me tō whānau
- Kei roto koe i te whanaungatanga nā te wehi kei aha rātou ki a koe mēnā ka whakatau koe ki te wehe atu
- Kua tino noa te tukino tinana, te tukino kare ā-roto, te tukino ā-ira tangata rānei, ā, kua whakaaetia e koe hei huarahi noho
He mea whakapōrearea te aroha ki tētahi tangata inu waipiro, me te hanga tahi me rātou. Kia maumahara tonu kāore koe i te herea kia noho tonu. Ehara i te mea he hiahia whaiaro te whakarērea o tētahi tangata inu waipiro kāore nei e whakaatu i te oati mō te huringa. Ko tō oranga me tō harikoa te mea nui ake i tō whanaungatanga. I ngā wā katoa, i ngā wā katoa.
Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
