8 Ngā Hipanga hei Hono Anō ki tō Hoa Rangatira, hei Whakapakari hoki i tō Here

He uaua pea ngā whanaungatanga; e mōhio ana te nuinga o tātou ki tēnei, ā, kua pā ki a tātou. Kāore te āhua o te whanaungatanga e noho tonu ana i roto i tō marena, i roto rānei i tētahi momo whanaungatanga roa kua whiriwhiria e koe. Ina kua āta wehe kē koe, ina kua momotu rānei te hononga engari kāore e taea te mahi i tetahi mea hei whakaora i te āhuatanga, ko te kimi huarahi hei hono anō ki tō hoa rangatira te mea pai rawa atu māu.

Pērā i te mākete hea, he pai, he kino, he wikitoria, he hinganga i roto i ia whanaungatanga. Ko tētahi o ngā tino uaua ko te ngaronga o te hononga i roto i te whanaungatanga mō ngā take maha. Ki te mea kei te momotu koe i tō hoa rangatira i roto i te roanga o tō marena, tera pea kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te hono anō ki tō hoa rangatira, me te mea ka taea.

Mā te hunga i roto i ngā whanaungatanga kaha, hauora hoki ka pāngia ngā hononga i waenga i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine kua marenatia ina pāngia koe e ngā raruraru pūtea, ina pāngia koe e te mate o tētahi e arohaina ana pērā i te tamaiti, i te mātua rānei, ina pāngia rānei koe e te puremu. Heoi anō, kāore e hiahiatia he arai nui hei whakatū i te awhiowhio i waenganui i te tokorua. 

Ka taea hoki e te hoha, te hoha, te kore mahi, me te ngākau māhaki te whakawehe i ngā hoa. Me mahi tonu, me atawhai hoki te marena kia mau tonu ai. Nō reira, ahakoa ka memeha haere te hononga i ētahi wā, ko te nui o tō hiahia ki te hono anō ki tō hoa rangatira ka whakatau i te mutunga o tō whanaungatanga.

Ina Momotu Koe i tō Hoa Rangatira: 6 Ngā Take 

Ka taea te ngaro o te hononga i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga i ngā wā katoa. Ka taea te tupu i roto i te tau tuatahi o te marena ake, ka taea rānei te tupu i muri i te 20 tau o tō kōrua marena harikoa. Ko te whakahoki mai i te hononga kare ā-roto ka noho hei mahi roa mō te ao katoa, ahakoa te roa o tō kōrua noho tahi.

I te tau tuatahi, tera pea ka raru ngā hoa rangatira i te urutau. I ētahi wā ka noho ko tētahi o ngā hoa rangatira hei kaiwhakahaere, ko tētahi e hiahia ana ki te wāhi. Ko te whakaaro he motumotu te hononga i roto i te whanaungatanga ka taea te whakapouri i ngā hoa rangatira e rua, ā, he maha ngā take i muri mai. "I whakaaro ahau kua motumotu te hononga ki taku tāne, ā, kāore au i te mōhio he aha. I roa ētahi kōrero whai tikanga, ētahi tautohetohe werawera, me te nui o te māramatanga i mua i te mōhio kāore ia i te arohaina. I whakaaro ia me whakarerekē ia i a ia anō kia pai ai taku hiahia."

"Kāore au i pai ki tana kōrero nui rawa, ahakoa i ngana ia ki te whakarerekē i tēnā, i pāngia hoki ia e te mamae nā te mea i whakaaro ia kāore e taea e ia te noho hei tangata tūturu ki ahau. He waimarie, i taea e māua te kōrero mō ō māua rerekētanga. Ki te hiahia koe ki te whakatū hononga ā-hinengaro ki tō hoa rangatira, kia tino whakapuakihia ō kare ā-roto," te kōrero a Julia ki a mātou, e kōrero ana mō tana marena tekau tau ki a Ruben.

Ina hē te haere o ngā mea, ko te hono atu anō ki tō hoa rangatira mā te kōrero noa ki a rātou, tera pea he tino māmā rawa, he tino pai rawa rānei, kāore e taea te whakapono. Engari he taahiraa tuatahi nui tēnei ki te huarahi tika. Kia taea ai te kōrero pai, me mārama koe he aha te take e kore ai e hono atu. Anei ētahi take whaitake:

Te pānui e pā ana: Te Whakarerekētanga i roto i te Marenatanga: 10 Ngā Tohutohu mō ngā Tāne me ngā Wahine Hou kia Kaha ai te Hononga

1. Nga take whakatikatika

Ina tīmata ngā tāngata tokorua noho tahi, me mahi ngā whakataunga. Engari ina puta ngā whakarerekētanga me te whakatārewatanga o te whaiaro, ka puta he raruraru. Ahakoa he take noa iho te āhua o te hauhautanga matao me te rūma moe mahana ake, ka taea e ia te whakararu i te whanaungatanga mō te wā roa. Koia te take e whiriwhiri ai ētahi tāne me ētahi wāhine i ngā rūma moe motuhake hei huarahi hei whakahaere i ngā mahi.

Kua kotahi tau te roa o te marena o Archie rāua ko Liz, ka tīmata te puta mai o ētahi raruraru. He tangata ata a Archie, engari kāore a Liz. Kāore a Archie i aro ki te kai i te tirikara, he tangata kai mea kakara a Liz. Kāore tetahi o ēnei rerekētanga i te āhua nei he rerekētanga nui, engari i waiho hei arai ki te hanga hononga i roto i te marena.

2. Whakahaere me te nui rawa o te wāhi

He kino te tāne, te wahine rānei e noho puku ana, e noho wehe ana, mō te whanaungatanga. Engari, ki te kore e kitea e ngā tāne me ngā wāhine te ara waenga, he maha ngā wā ka motu te hononga. Mēnā ka motu te hononga, ka kore e taea te kimi huarahi hei hono atu ki tāu tāne, ki tāu wahine rānei.

A, no te kotahi he tangata hiahia whakahaere te hoa rangatira ā, ko tētahi e aro nui ana ki te takitahi me te wāhi, e hiahia ana kia nui ake te "wā mōku ake", ka tīmata te tipu haere o ngā raruraru i roto i te marena. Ka arahi pea tēnei ki te ngaronga o te hononga i roto i te whanaungatanga i te mea ka nui haere te riri, ka tīmata rānei tetahi o te hoa ki te noho pōuri.

3. Ngā take moni

Mai i te kore pono i te taha pūtea ki ngā raruraru e pā ana ki te tohatoha i ngā whakapaunga, ka taea e ngā take pūtea te noho hei taniwha ka pakaru ngā whanaungatanga. Ka puta te momotu hononga ina kore e taea te manawanui te ahotea pūtea, ina kore rānei tetahi hoa e whakapau moni, ā, ko tetahi he tangata apo. Hei tauira, tirohia a Jen rāua ko Jake. I harikoa a Jake ki te whakapau moni, ā, kāore ia i manukanuka ki te penapena mō te heke mai.

I tipu ake a Jen i roto i tētahi whānau rawakore, ā, i tuhia e ia ngā mea katoa i pau i a ia. Kāore i roa, ka puta he pakanga nui, ka ngaro te hononga i roto i te whanaungatanga, ka kī a Jen he koretake a Jake, ā, ka hiahia a Jake kia iti ake te riri o Jen. Kia mahara, he maha ngā pātai whakahirahira ka taea e koe te tāpiri atu ki tō rārangi "Me pēhea te hono atu anō ki tō tāne/wahine?", engari ko te "He aha koe i pau ai te $49.99 ki tētahi takirua hū?" he pai ake te waiho i te mea "He aha koe i whakapau ai i te $49.99 ki tētahi takirua hū?".

4. Ka taea e te tinihanga te whakangaro i te marena

Ka pōuri ngā hoa rangatira ina uru ā rātou hoa ki tētahi mahi moepuku, ā, ka mamae hoki ō rātou hinengaro nā te tinihanga. Koinā te wā ka uaua ki a rātou te mahi hono anō i muri i te tinihanga. Koinei te mea i pā ki a Māta rāua ko Hēmi. I muri i te haurua tekau tau o te marena, ka kite a Māta i a Hēmi e wehe ke ana, ā, te āhua nei he mea nui ake tana waea pūkoro ki a ia i a ia.

"I pōuri ahau i te āhua o taku hononga ki taku tāne, ā, i taku kitenga i ētahi karere kuputuhi kino i runga i tana waea, ka mōhio ahau he aha i huna ai e ia i ahau. He hononga ā-ipurangi tāna, ā, i te āhua kāore e taea te hoki ki ngā wā pai i muri i tērā," te kī a Martha. Ka huri te tangata i muri i te puremu i roto i te marena, ā, he uaua ki a rātou te hoki ki te āhua o mua i te take tinihanga.

5. Te pokanoa a ngā hungawai

Mena ka pā kino te moepuku ki te marena, ka taea hoki e te neke a ngā hungawai kaumātua ki te noho tahi me te tokorua kua mārena te arahi ki te ngangau. Mena kei te whawhai tonu kōrua mō ngā hungawai, ā, ki te mea kei te whakararuraru rātou i a kōrua, ka taea e tēnā te whakangaro i tō kōrua marena. Mā te aro atu ki ō rātou riri ka pā kino ki tō whanaungatanga ki tō hoa rangatira. Ahakoa kei te whakaaro koe he aha te mea hei kōrero māu ki tō hoa rangatira kia hono anō ai te whanaungatanga, mā te noho tahi o ngā hungawai i te wāhi noho kotahi ka uaua te whai i ēnei kōrero whai tikanga.

6. Ngā waranga kino me ngā tikanga whakatau

Ka taea e te waranga ki ngā raau taero, te waipiro, te petipeti rānei te whakatupu i te ngangau i roto i te marena. Mēnā he tino waranga te hoa rangatira ki tētahi, ki te katoa rānei o ēnei, ka nui pea ngā huringa ki ō rātou tuakiri, ā, ka uaua ki a koe te whakaaro me pēhea te hono atu anō ki tō hoa.

I ēnei rā, ko te waranga pāpāho pāpori tētahi o ngā tino take e kore ai e noho tahi ngā tāne me ngā wāhine. Hei whakakore i te waranga waipiro, i te whakamahi matū rānei, ko te whakaora me te rongoā te huarahi pai rawa atu. Mō te waranga pāpāho pāpori, he huarahi pai te tango i ngā paitini hei hono atu ki tāu tāne, ki tāu wahine rānei.  

Ngā Tohu 10 o te Momotu i roto i tō Mārenatanga

Nā te mea kua kōrerohia ngā take, ko te mahi e whai ake nei ko te kite i ngā tohu e whakaatu mārama ana kei te motu te hononga i roto i te marena. Mā te mārama ki ngā tohu ka āwhina i a koe ki te kimi huarahi hei hono atu anō ki tāu tāne/wahine, me te tumanako ka kitea e koe te ara hoki ki tētahi wāhi harikoa.

Ka taea e koe te haere ki taua wāhi harikoa mena ka taea e koe te whakatau mena kei te heke te āhua o tetahi mea. I a koe e haere ana ki te hono atu ki tō hoa rangatira i roto i ngā kare ā-roto, ka āwhina ngā tohu i a koe ki te whakatau i ngā mea me whakatika e koe. Me titiro tātou ki ēnei:

Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te urupare ki te maimoatanga wahangu – Ngā huarahi whai hua hei whakahaere

1. He nui ake te wahangu i te kōrero

He tokorua tino whakawhitiwhiti kōrero a Charlie rāua ko Hank. I roto i ā rāua kōrero i te tēpu kai, i kapi katoa ngā mea katoa i raro i te rā - mai i ngā mahi tōrangapū ki ngā kōrero pakiwaitara mō ngā tari. Engari i muri i ētahi tau i roto i te marena, ka raruraru korero i tino kitea te whanaungatanga i waenganui i a rāua, ā, kua ngaro atu te hihiri ki te hanga hononga i roto i tā rāua marena.

He mea noa te rerekētanga o ngā whanaungatanga roa i roto i te wā. Engari, ki te mea he kōrero harikoa, he kata hoki tō kōrua marena, ka mamae pea te ngākau i te kitenga kua kore he kupu mā kōrua tetahi ki tetahi, ka kai puku kōrua, ā, ka tere te pukumahi ki te pouaka whakaata, ki te waea rānei i muri mai. Ina kite koe i tētahi mea pēnei, kua tae ki te wā ki te hono anō ki tētahi hoa rangatira tawhiti.

2. Me hono anō koe ki tō hoa rangatira i roto i te ao wairua mēnā he āputa kōrero kei waenganui i a koe

E mōhio ana mātou, he rite tonu ki te kīwaha tawhito rawa atu, engari ko te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero te mea nui ki te te hanga i tētahi whanaungatanga hauora. Tērā pea kua mōhio kē kōrua kāore kōrua e kōrero ana mō ngā kare ā-roto o tētahi ki tētahi. Ka puta te riri nui, ka pirau ō kōrua kare ā-roto, ka noho puku rānei.

Kāore rawa koe e kōrero mō te take e kore ai koe e hono atu ki tō hoa, kāore hoki koe e kōrero mō te huarahi hei hono atu anō ki a ia. Engari i te kōrero, i te haere rānei ki tētahi pō whakatā, ka hē noa iho te mārama o tētahi ki tētahi, ā, ka whānui haere te āputa kōrero i waenganui i a kōrua.

3. Kua tirotirohia ngā kare ā-roto o tō hoa

Kāore pea koe e rongo ana i tētahi hononga kare ā-roto nā te mea kua tirohia e te tāne o te marena i te taha kare ā-roto. Tērā pea kua whakarērea e tō wahine te marena i roto i tōna hinengaro. Tērā pea te āhua nei kei te whānui haere te wehewehe i waenganui i a kōrua i ia rā, i ia rā. Ki te whakaaro koe he pai te whakaora i te whanaungatanga, me whakapau kaha koe ki te hono anō i te taha kare ā-roto ki tō tāne, ki tō wahine rānei, me te mea kia whakapono ia ki tō kōrua heke mai.

4. He moe tāne engari kāore he whanaungatanga piripono

Ka moe tāne koe, engari kāore koe e moe tahi ana. Ka tuku noa koe i ō hiahia ā-tinana, engari kāore he whanaungatanga piripono ina noho tahi kōrua. Tērā pea ka rongo koe i te momotu o te whanaungatanga ina moe tahi kōrua. Ko te korenga o te whanaungatanga piripono i te wā e tika ana kia kaha te kaha o ngā kare ā-roto he tohu i te hiahia nui ki te hono anō ki tō hoa i runga i te moepuku. Tērā pea kei te anga atu kōrua ki tētahi marena kore-ira.

5. Kāore koe e whakatau i ngā pakanga

Te taupatupatu raru Koinei te wāhanga tino nui o tētahi whanaungatanga hauora. E mōhio ana koe kei roto koe i tētahi marena hauora kore ina kore kōrua ko tō hoa e ngana ana ki te whakaoti i ō kōrua raruraru. Engari, ka puritia e koe ō raruraru me ō kare ā-roto. He mea nui te mōhio ki te hono anō ki tō hoa rangatira i muri i tētahi pakanga mō te hauora o tō kōrua whanaungatanga. Me rapu e koe tētahi otinga whai hua mō ō kōrua pakanga, ki te kore, ka pau koe i roto i te mauahara e noho tonu ana i te hau.

6. Kāore rawa kōrua e noho tahi ana

I mua, ka haere tahi kōrua, ka haere tahi i ngā pō whakatā, ka pupuri ringa, ka tuhi reta aroha tetahi ki tetahi, ka whakarite rānei i ngā whakatā takirua me ngā hoa, engari ināianei kua kore rawa e kitea he whakamarie i roto i te hoa o tetahi ki tetahi. Kāore koe e pai ki te noho tahi. Ki te kite koe kei te pukumahi rawa kōrua i ō kōrua ake oranga, kua mutu rānei te whai wā tetahi ki tetahi, me whai whakaaro pea koe mō ētahi mea hei mahi māu me tō hoa rangatira kia hono anō ai. He kōrero anō ā muri ake nei.

7. Ka tukuna te atawhai puku tetahi ki tetahi

Tērā pea ētahi painga o te wahangu i roto i te whanaungatanga engari ka roa he rite te mahi wahangu ki te tukino kare ā-roto ki te mea nā te mauahara. Ka hua ake tēnei ka tawhiti kē atu kōrua, kaua e hono anō ki te hoa rangatira. Ki te mea he tino hoha te whanaungatanga, kāore pea e whai hua te whakatau i ngā tautohe i runga i te whakaaro pakeke. Engari, ka whiriwhiri pea kōrua ki te ārai tetahi i tetahi.

8. Kāore koe e kī ana "Aroha ana ahau ki a koe"

Te kī i tētahi mea ohorere “E aroha ana ahau ki a koe” Koia anake te mea e hiahiatia ana hei whakamana i a koe kia arohaina, kia harikoa hoki. Engari ki te kore koe e hiahia ki te whakapuaki i aua kupu, tera pea he hapa nui kei roto i tō whanaungatanga. Ahakoa he āhua noa iho i muri i tētahi wā, ko te whakamana i tō hoa rangatira e aroha ana koe, e manaaki ana hoki i a ia te mea anake e hiahiatia ana hei whakapakari i tō hononga. Engari ki te kore koe e mahara ki te wā whakamutunga i kōrero ai koe i ngā kupu makutu e toru ki a koe anō, ā, i tino pono koe ki tēnā, kua tae ki te wā ki te whakaaro he aha te hapa.

9. Kāore kōrua e aroturuki ana i te oranga o tētahi ki tētahi

I te whiwhinga a Carly i tētahi whakatairanga nui i te mahi, kāore ia i kōrero ki tana tāne, ki a Jerry. Nā tana hoa mahi i kōrero ki a Jerry, ā, i te mea kua mōhiotia, i miharo ia, i pouri hoki kāore a Carly i kōrero ki a ia anō. I tētahi atu taha, i te whakaaro o Jerry ki te haumi ki tētahi whare nekeneke, he roa te wā i mua i tana kōrero ki a Carly. E mōhio ana koe kāore e taea e koe te hono atu anō ki tētahi hoa rangatira tawhiti ina kore ia e kōrero ki a koe mō āna mahere oranga, āna wikitoria, me āna raruraru.

10. Kāore he mahi a tō hoa ki te whakahari i a koe

Ehara i te mea ko ngā mahi nui engari ko ngā mahi iti o te whakaaro nui e hari ai te tokorua i roto i te whanaungatanga. Ki te kore he kaha ki te kawe mai i ngā putiputi, i ngā koha rānei ki te kāinga, tuhia he reta aroha, whakamātauria ngā mea hou, kimihia rānei he tunu kai hou, ka makahia he kai whakamere ki a rātou. kia harikoa tō hoa rangatira, kia mōhio koe he raruraru kei reira. Ki te kore tō hoa e ngana ana ki te pupuri i te hononga ki a koe, he tohu tēnā kua motu te hononga i roto i te marena.

Mena kua kitea e koe ngā āhuatanga o tō whanaungatanga e pā ana ki ngā tohu katoa, ko te kimi i ngā mea hei mahi māu ko tō hoa rangatira kia hono anō ai te whanaungatanga te taahiraa tuatahi māu. Me titiro hohonu tātou ki ngā mea hei kōrero māu ko tō hoa rangatira kia hono anō ai te whanaungatanga, me ngā mea katoa e tika ana kia mahia e kōrua, kia tata atu ai kōrua ki te marena rangimarie e hiahiatia ana e kōrua.

8 Ngā Hipanga Hei Hono Anō Ki Tō Hoa Rangatira

Nā, me pēhea te hono anō ki tētahi hoa rangatira i tawhiti? Mā te momotu i te hononga i roto i te marena ka heke te hononga. Engari e whakaaro ana te tohunga hinengaro a John Gottman, nāna i whakaora ngā rau o ngā marena mai i te whakarere, ā, kua rangahau ia i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine neke atu i te 3,000 mō ngā tau 40 kua hipa, ko te hono anō i te hononga i te wā tika te mea nui ki te whakahoki i te marena ki te huarahi tika.

E ai ki a Gottman, ka taea te whakahoki mai i ngā marena mai i te pari o te wehenga, te whakarere rānei, mēnā ka rapua e ngā tāne me ngā wāhine he wawaotanga i ngā wāhanga tōmua o te momotu hononga. Mā te mōhio noa ki ngā mea hei kōrero māu ki tō hoa rangatira kia hono anō ai ki a rāua, ka āwhina i te whai hua me te whai wāhi atu o te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero. 

Ahakoa kei te hiahia koe kia nui ake te whanaungatanga ā-ira me tō tāne/wahine, kei te ngana rānei koe ki te hanga anō i tō marena i te wā e wehe ana, ka taea e koe te whakatinana i te huringa mā te mahi i ngā mahi tuturu anake. Heoi, kia maumahara kāore e mahi he otinga poto mō te raruraru mēnā kei te rapu koe ki te whakaora i tō whanaungatanga. Nō reira, kaua e moumou taima ki aua mea. Mena kei te taumaha te pātai mō te hono atu anō ki te hoa rangatira, anei ngā mahi e 8 ka taea e koe te whai.

Te pānui e pā ana: 7 Ngā Tohu Whakatūpato Kei te Pakaru Koe i roto i tō Mārenatanga

1. Hono atu anō ki tō hoa rangatira i runga i te wā poto

Ko te taahiraa tuatahi ki te hono anō ki te hoa rangatira ko te ngana ki te whakahoki mai i te tūponotanga i roto i tō whanaungatanga, i tō marena rānei. He huarahi pai ki te mahi i tēnā ko te tuku i te riri me te mamae katoa. Ahakoa ko te meka ko tō he mangere te hoa rangatira ki ngā mahi o te whare kei te riri koe i ngā āwangawanga pūtea rānei, kimihia he otinga, ka ngana ki te tuku.

Engari, arotahi ki ngā painga o te whanaungatanga me ngā maharatanga kua tohaina, ka ngana ki te whakahoki mai i taua awhi ngāwari, i te pupuri ringa, i te mirimiri rānei i te paparinga. Ā, ki te mea kei te ngana koe ki te kimi huarahi hei hono atu anō ki tō hoa rangatira, he pō aroha noa iho pea te mea e hiahiatia ana e koe. Me whakarite te wairua mā te whakamahi i ētahi kānara me taua waina utu nui, ā, ka whai pō e kore e warewaretia.

2. Hono atu anō ki tō hoa rangatira i roto i te wairua

Ko tētahi huarahi tēnei hei kia hoki anō te aroha o tō hoa rangatira ki a koeKo te whakawhirinakitanga kare ā-roto he tohu mō tētahi whanaungatanga hauora. Ina tīmata koe ki te whakaaro kua wehea tō hononga ā-roto mai i tō hoa, ka pāngia tō whanaungatanga. Ka puta te momotu kare ā-roto ina kore e whakatauhia ngā pakanga. He huarahi pai ki te whakatau i ngā take ko te whakaae he mea kore e taea te karo i te pakanga engari ka taea te whakatau hauora. 

Ki te kore koe e whakamahi i ngā kupu mamae, e takaro i te kēmu whakapae, e whakaputa rānei i te mauahara, engari me ngana ki te kōrero mō te raruraru, ka pai ake tō noho i roto i tō marena. Hei mahi i tēnā, me kōrero pono, me te ngākau māhaki ki tō hoa. Kimihia me pēhea te hono atu anō ki tō hoa rangatira i muri i te pakanga, ā, ka tata atu kōrua ki te whanaungatanga piripono.

Pātai atu, whakarongo mai hoki ki ngā kōrero a tō hoa rangatira mēnā kei te hiahia koe ki te whakatū anō i tētahi hononga kare ā-roto ki a rāua. I ētahi wā, ki te hiahia koe ki te whakahoki anō i tētahi hononga kare ā-roto, ko tāu noa he mea kia rongo tō hoa rangatira kei te whakamanahia ia, ā, kia rangona hoki mā te whakarongo pai ki a rāua.

3. Hono atu anō ki tō hoa rangatira i te taha wairua

I roto i te whanaungatanga, he hononga wairua tonu. Ko ētahi e whakapono ana ki tēnā, ko ētahi kāore. Ko ētahi e rongo ana i tēnā, ko ētahi kāore. Ina tino honoa koe ki te wairua, he mea whakamīharo. he tohu kei a kōrua he hoa wairua ā, ka whakapuaki tetahi i tetahi i tētahi taumata o te whakamarie me te whakapono tetahi ki tetahi. 

Ko te hononga wairua ko te wā e taea ai e ngā hoa rangatira te kite kei te raruraru te hinengaro o te hoa rangatira, e mōhio ana rānei rātou ki ngā mea e tika ana kia mahia hei whakatika i te āhuatanga. Ehara i te mea makutu, engari he take noa iho o te pai o te māramatanga o tētahi ki tētahi. Engari i ētahi wā, ka pakaru tēnei hononga wairua ina whakaaro ngā hoa rangatira he manene rāua e noho ana i te whare kotahi. 

Ka taea e koe te whakaara anō i taua hononga mā te manaaki, te aroha, me te whakapau kaha. Nō reira, ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe mō ngā mea hei kōrero māu ki tō hoa rangatira kia hono anō ai ōu hononga, ngana ki te kōrero mō te kore e tino hono atu ki a rāua. Tērā pea ka puta mai ētahi kōrero whakamiharo, whai tikanga hoki, ā, ka mōhio pū koe he aha kōrua i tawhiti ai.

4. Hono atu anō ki tō hoa rangatira i runga i te hononga ā-ira

Ina he momotu te whanaungatanga i waenga i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine kua mārenatia, ko tētahi o ngā mea tuatahi ka ngaro atu ko te oranga moepuku. Ka tino koretake, ka kore rānei he whanaungatanga piripono e arahi ki te kore moepuku. Me whakapau kaha koe ki te hono anō i te moepuku, engari me tīmata koe ki te hononga-a-whatumanawa i mua i tō taenga ki te moe tahi me te kimi i taua mahana tawhito.

Ka taea e koe te tīmata ki te whakapakari i te whanaungatanga, te haere ki tētahi pō whakaipoipo hei hono atu ki tō hoa rangatira, te haere tahi, me te tohu i ngā wāhi tino pai ki a koe i roto i tāu rārangi hiahia. Hei hanga hononga kaha i roto i tō marena, me whakawhirinaki koe ki te hanga i tētahi turanga pakari mō te whanaungatanga i te tuatahi.

Ki te hiahia koe kia nui ake te piripono ki tō hoa rangatira, me ohorere rātou mā te mahi i te nekehanga tuatahi me te arotahi ki te takaro i mua i te moe. Mai i te whakamātau i ngā tūranga hou ki te whakatakoto i te wairua i mua, he maha ngā mea hei mahi māu me tō hoa rangatira hei hono anō i te moe.

5. Hono atu anō ki tō hoa rangatira i runga i te hinengaro

He kaipānui pukapuka nui pea kōrua, ā, i mua, i taea e kōrua te kōrero mō tētahi pukapuka mō ngā hāora, engari kāore e tupu ana i ēnei rā. Kāore rānei i te whai hua ngā tautohetohe nui i whakakahangia e ō kōrua whakaaro tōrangapū e taupatupatu ana. Kāore rānei kōrua e mātaki ana i ngā kiriata e takoto ana i runga i te tūru. Koinei ētahi o ngā huarahi e puta ai te kore o te whanaungatanga hinengaro i roto i te whanaungatanga.

Hei whakakore i tēnei āhuatanga, hei hono anō ki tō hoa rangatira, hoatu he pukapuka ki a rātou, tākaro kēmu, hoko tīkiti rānei mō ngā kiriata. Kōrero atu ki a rātou kua rongo koe i tētahi raupapa Netflix pai e hiahia ana koe ki te mātaki tahi. He huarahi pai anō hoki te whiriwhiri i tētahi akomanga, te tākaro kēmu kāri, te whakauru atu rānei ki tētahi huihuinga tukutuku tahi ki te te hanga i te whanaungatanga hinengaro i roto i te whanaungatangaMō te whanaungatanga hauora, me ōrite te hinengaro o ngā hoa rangatira.

6. Hono atu anō ki tō hoa rangatira me te harikoa

Me pēhea te hono atu anō ki tō hoa rangatira? Kia kitea ai he whakautu mō tēnā, me mārama tuatahi koe ki te pūtake o te pouri i roto i tō whanaungatanga. Ki te taea e koe te mahi i tēnā me te whakakore atu, kāti kāore he mea e aukati i a koe ki te hono atu anō ki tō hoa rangatira me te kimi i tō harikoa. Hei kimi i ngā mea hei mahi māu me tō hoa rangatira hei hono atu anō, ngana ki te whakaaro ki ngā mea i hari ai kōrua.

Tērā pea i pai ki a kōrua te mahi yoga tahi, te whakamātau i ngā mea hou, i ngā mahi hou rānei, te tākaro kāri, te whiriwhiri rānei i ngā mea e hiahiatia ana e kōrua. Tērā pea i hono tahi kōrua i a kōrua e tunu kai tahi ana. Ko te harikoa he hikoi i te māra, he inu kawhe tahi rānei i te ata. Hoki atu ki tō kōrua rā tuatahi me ngā tikanga ngahau katoa i hari ai kōrua, ā, ka kitea kua ora ake tō kōrua marena me te kaha hou.

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7. Hono atu anō ki tō hoa rangatira i runga i te whakaaro tika

He aha ngā mea hei kōrero māu ki tō hoa rangatira kia hono anō ai ō whakaaro? Kōrerohia he whakaaro whaitake. Whakamahia he whakaaro pakari ki tō whanaungatanga. I ētahi wā ka pōuritia ō tātou hinengaro e ō tātou kare ā-roto me ngā kare ā-roto, ā, ka mutu ka pekepeke tātou ki ngā whakatau me te whakatau i ngā whakatau kāore he whakaaro whaitake, he take rānei. Mā tēnei, ka nui te kino o te whanaungatanga ka pā ki a tātou.

Te whakapai ake i te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero i roto i tō whanaungatanga Mā te arorau ka āwhina i te whakapakari i tō hononga. Ki te mōhio koe ki te take me te āhua o ō raruraru, ka taea te whakakore i te nuinga o ngā māramatanga hē e whakararuraru ana i tō whanaungatanga. 

Tērā pea ka hohoro kōrua te whakatau i ngā wā e tautohe ana kōrua, ka tukua rānei ō kōrua kare ā-roto kia hinga i a kōrua, ā, ka waiho te arorau ki muri. I roto i tētahi āhuatanga e ngana ana koe ki te whakatū anō i tētahi hononga ki tō hoa rangatira, me titiro matatau, me te whakaaro tika hoki ki ngā mea i hē i roto i tō kōrua whanaungatanga, me te take i pērā ai.

8. Kimihia ngā mea hei mahi māu me tō hoa rangatira kia hono anō ai ō hononga

Me kimi e koe ngā mea hei mahi māu me tō hoa rangatira kia hono anō ai ō kōrua hononga, nā te mea mā te whakapau i te wā whai hua ki a kōrua anō ka rongo ai kōrua i te wāhanga o tētahi ao whānui. Ina mau te wairua hoha o te ao ki a koe, ā, e ahua ana kua roa kē te wā mai i te wā i ngahau ai kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira, me ngana anō koe ki te hanga hononga ki tō hoa rangatira.

Ina kore rawa ō whakaaro, tera pea ka taea e ētahi o ēnei mea hei mahi māu me tō hoa rangatira kia hono anō ai ō whakaaro. Anei ētahi ngā huarahi ki te hoki ki te aroha me to hoa tangata:

• Kimihia he mahi whakangahau hou hei mahi tahi, pērā i te hikoi, te tākaro rānei i te kēmu
• Whakamaherehia he pō whakatā, tūhuratia te wāhi tino pai o te tāone
• Waiho tō waea pūkoro ki tahaki mō tētahi wā, ka kōrero noa i ngā kōrero whai tikanga ki a koutou anō
• Hono atu ki tētahi karapu oma, ki tētahi akomanga kanikani, ki tētahi akomanga yoga rānei
• Tunu tahi, tunu kai rānei mā tetahi, werohia rānei tetahi ki tetahi kia tunu kai tahi
• Haere ki ngā wāhi hou o tō tāone pērā i ngā tūruhi
• Kia pai tō pō spa ki te kāinga
• Waiho ngā reta aroha mō tetahi ki tetahi i runga i te whakaata o te wharepaku
• Haere tahi ki ngā huihuinga whānau, ki te hono atu rānei ki tētahi mema o te whānau e tata ana ki a kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira
• Whakamātauria pepa mahi kore utu hei tā ipurangi kia kitea ai te wāhi i hē ai koe, me ngā mea hei whakapai ake

Kei te haere tonu te rārangi, ā, ka mutu noa iho i te mutunga o tō whakaaro. Ko te whakaaro nui, mā te āwhina o ēnei mea ka taea e ngā tāne me ngā wāhine te mahi hei hono anō i te whanaungatanga, ka hangaia e kōrua he maharatanga hou me tō hoa rangatira, ā, whakapakari i tō hononga. He haerenga roa, he haerenga uaua te marena, ā, kāore e taea te rite tonu ngā wāhanga katoa. He mea noa te ngaro o te hononga i ētahi wā, engari ki te hiahia koe kia angitu tō marena, ka taea tonu e kōrua te kimi i te ara hoki ki a kōrua anō. 

Hei te mutunga iho, ko te mea e whakatau ana i te pai o tō noho tahi ko te nui o te kaha e hiahia ana koe ki te whakapau ki roto. Mena kei roto tō marena i tētahi wā uaua, ā, kei te rapu koe i tētahi kaiārahi mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine, ko Bonobology's he rōpū kaiwhakaora hinengaro mātau mā tēnei ka āwhina i a koe ki te whakatere i ēnei wā uaua, me te ārahi anō i a koe ki te whanaungatanga hauora i mau i a koe i mua.

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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.