7 Ngā Tohu Whakatūpato Kei te Pakaru Koe i roto i tō Mārenatanga

"Kua rerekē koe. Ko te tangata i moea e au he tangata kē." E kī ana ā mātou tohunga e pā ana ki ngā marena kore aroha koinei te kōrero a ngā tāne me ngā wāhine ina tae mai rātou me te take kei te wehewehe haere rāua i roto i te marena.

Ina kore tō marena e rite ki mua, ka rite koe ki te mea kei te wehe kē koe i tō hoa rangatira. Ka kite koe i ngā mea katoa aua haki whero engari me whakarongo tonu ki a rātou, me tōia tō mārenatanga ki te wāhi e toe ana ko te pouri anake ki a kōrua ko tō hoa.

He tukanga āta haere te wehewehe i roto i te marena, engari i te wā ka mōhio koe, kua roa rawa. I te wā e hiahia ana koe ki te whakaora i tō marena, ka mōhio koe kāore he mea e toe ana hei whakaora.

E ai ki te Tatauranga o Amerika i te tau 2017¹, i kitea he pikinga 44% o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e noho wehe ana. He mea nui kia tautuhia ngā tohu whakatūpato o te wehenga i roto i te marena i mua i te tomuri rawa.

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He aha ngā Tāne me ngā Wahine Marena ka Wehewehea ai?

I ēnei rā, kua māmā ake te wehe i waenganui i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine. Nā te pukumahi o ngā hoa tokorua ki ā rāua mahi me ā rāua kawenga takitahi, ka uaua ake te arotahi ki te marena.

Ki te arotahi tātou ki te tikanga o te wehewehe, ka kite tātou ko tōna tikanga he tawhiti i roto i te whanaungatanga. Haunga te whanaungatanga aroha, ka taea te whakamahi ki te whakahoahoa, ki te whanaungatanga i waenga i ngā mātua me ngā tamariki pakeke, ki te whanaungatanga rānei ki ngā whanaunga. Ka taea hoki e ngā tāne me ngā wāhine pakeke te wehewehe.

Ko te wehewehe i roto i te marena ko te tikanga kei te mawehe atu kōrua i te aua kupu taurangi i mea, Kia Wehea rā anō tāua e te Mate, heoi anō, kei te matara atu kōrua tetahi i tetahi. He aha i wehea ai ngā tāne me ngā wāhine.

1. Ka whakarerekē te wheako i te tangata

Mena he tangata pakihi rongonui tētahi o ngā hoa rangatira e haerere ana i te ao katoa, e whakarite ana i ngā kirimana, ko tētahi atu he kaitiaki kāinga e tiaki ana i ngā tamariki, e hikoi tahi ana me rātou i te pāka, he mārama kei te rerekē ngā huarahi e wheakohia ana e rāua te ao.

Ka huri te tangata nā ngā wheako kua riro i a rātou, ā, he maha ngā wā ka arahi atu tēnā ki te pakaru o te whanaungatanga.

2. Kāore e tipu tahi, ka arahi ki te tipu wehe

I ētahi wā i roto i te marena, kāore e tipu tahi ngā tāngata tokorua. Ka hua ake tēnei i te kore o te te whanaungatanga hinengaro ā, koira te wā ka mutu te tipu o tō kōrua whanaungatanga.

Kāore kōrua e whai i te tere o tētahi ki tētahi ina neke kōrua i tētahi huarahi. Ahakoa ka nui ake te mōhiotanga, te pakeketanga, me te pakari o te kare ā-roto o tētahi atu, tērā pea kāore tetahi e tino tipu haere ana.

3. Ka huri ngā whāinga

I taea e koe te tīmata i tō oranga me taua mea anō whāinga tokorua engari i te haere o te wā ka huri ngā whāinga. Pērā i te tīmatanga o te wehewehe o tētahi tokorua i roto i te marena i te wā i i whakatau te tāne kia noho hei kaimahi kāinga ā, i hiahia kia noho ko tana wahine hei kaiwhakawhiwhi moni.

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I mahara te wahine he whakaritenga rangitahi noa iho, engari i tōna kitenga i te hiahia o tana tāne kia noho pumau tēnei hei whakaritenga, ka tīmata rāua te wehewehe i roto i te marena nā te mea i taupatupatu ā rāua whāinga.

4. Ka mahi takitahi koe i ngā mea

Ina tīmata te wehe o ngā hoa e rua, i te tuatahi ngā mahi tahi āta tīmata te noho hei mahi takitahi mā rātou, ā, i mua i tō mōhio, kua ngaro te mura.

Kei te whakakahore tonu kōrua kua oti te marena kia kore e taea te haere ā, me te whakaroa tonu i te marena nā ētahi atu āhuatanga pēnei i ngā mātua, ngā tamariki, te hapori, me ērā atu, ki tētahi wāhi e kore ai e taea e tetahi o koutou te whakaroa i te marena, ā, ka whakakorea e koutou.

5. He nui rawa te wāhi i roto i te whanaungatanga

Ehara te wāhi i te tohu kino i roto i te whanaungatanga. Ina hoki, he mea nui kia whai wāhi hei tupu i roto i te whanaungatanga. Engari ina nui haere taua wāhi ka tīmata te raruraru.

Ka tīmata te wehewehe i roto i te marena ina horomia te whanaungatanga e te wāhi i pai ki a kōrua. Kei te harikoa kōrua i roto i ō kōrua ake wāhi, ā, i te wā tonu ka tūtaki kōrua, ka rongo kōrua kei roto kōrua i te marena pouri.

7 Ngā Tohu Whakatūpato Kei te Pakaru Koe i roto i te Marenatanga

Ehara i te mea ka puta wawe te wehewehe i roto i te marena. Ka tīmata ngā tāne me ngā wāhine ki te neke atu i ngā wāhanga kukume me te aroha, kei reira te aroha, engari ehara i te mea nui. Ko ngā kawenga, ngā whāinga mahi, ngā wawata whaiaro, me te miriona atu mea, kāore e ranea te aroha anake hei tautoko i te marena.

E whakaaro ana ngā tāne me ngā wāhine kei te pakaru haere te whanaungatanga nā te mea e whakapono ana rātou kei te huri tetahi o rātou. Heoi anō, kei reira ētahi tohu whakatūpato kei te pakaru haere te whanaungatanga i waenganui i a kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira, ā, ahakoa he rerekē ngā āhuatanga mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine rerekē, he rite tonu te āhua o te whanaungatanga. Kua pāngia tō tāne e ngā raruraru kare ā-roto? Kāore pea koe i kite.

1. Kāore kōrua e mahi tahi ana i ngā mea i ēnei rā

He mea anō tā ngā tāne me ngā wāhine marena. Ahakoa he pō Paraire, he mātakitaki noa rānei i te mutunga wiki, he mea whakarite tahi mā kōrua. Ka noho tahi kōrua ki te whakatau ko tēhea wharekai hei whiriwhiri mā kōrua mō ngā pō whakatā.

Inaianei, kāore kōrua e aro ki tēhea wharekai hei haere atu nā te mea kāore he wā mō kōrua ki te whiriwhiri i ngā wharekai. Ina tae ki te mahi tahi, ka āwangawanga kōrua, ā, e pai ake ana ki a kōrua ake wāhi.

2. Kāore kōrua e kōrero ana mō te heke mai

Ko te kaupapa matua o ngā marena ko te whakamahere mō te heke mai mō te wā roa. Ka whakatakoto ngā hoa tokorua i ā rāua mahere mō te wā poto pēnei i te haere ki ngā hararei, te whānau tamariki, me ērā atu, ā, ka whakatakoto hoki i ngā mahere mō te wā roa pēnei i te haumi tahi, te hoko waka, te hoko whare rānei.

Ki te kore kōrua e kōrero mō te heke mai, nā te mea kāore he pānga o te heke mai ki a kōrua. Kāore kōrua e aro ki te whānau tamariki, ki te haere hararei rānei. Kua noho noa iho ngā mea katoa.

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3. Kāore koe e moe tāne ana

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu nui o te wehewehe ko te mea kei waenganui i a kōrua kāore e moe tāne ana i ēnei rāKua ngaro te mura o tō kōrua marena, ā, me te mea he tokorua tauhou e moe tahi ana i te moenga kotahi.

He nui ngā kōrero a te taatai ​​mō te te whanaungatanga piripono nā te mea ehara te taatai ​​​​i te mea mō te hononga tinana anake engari ko te hononga kare ā-roto e pa ana ki a kōrua.

Ki te kore kōrua e kōrero urunga i muri i te moe tāne, te āhua nei kei te pērā kōrua te ngaro o te hiahia tetahi ki tetahi me te tipu haere wehe.

4. Kua mutu te kōrero a kōrua

Kāore kōrua e mōhio me pēhea te kōrero tetahi ki tetahi i ēnei rā. Kei reira tonu ngā kōrero pakupaku pēnei i te aha tā kōrua e hiahia ana mō te tina? Āhea rānei kōrua ka hoki mai ki te kāinga? Engari ehara tēnā i te kōrero tūturu.

E kōrero ana te tokorua kua marenatia mō ngā mea whaiaro, ka pātai tetahi ki tetahi mō tō rāua rā, ka tawai rānei tetahi ki tetahi mō ngā momo mea. I mahara noa koe ki te āhua o kōrua i mua? Ki te mea kua rerekē kōrua i ēnei rā, me whakaaro koe ki ētahi mea.

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5. Kei te wehe kē kōrua i te taha hinengaro

He rite tonu te tirohanga a kōrua tetahi ki tetahi. Kei te memeha haere te hononga kare ā-roto i waenganui i a kōrua. Tērā pea kua tīmata tētahi o kōrua ki te rapu i tētahi te makona o te ngākau i ētahi atu wāhi.

Kāore kōrua e kōrero ana i ngā mea whakahirahira ki a kōrua anō. I tētahi atu taha, kua tīmata kōrua te riri ki te aroaro o tētahi ki tētahi. Ina tīmata ngā tāne me ngā wāhine ki te kite i tā rāua hoa he tangata noa iho, ko te tikanga kei te piki haere te... iti ake te whai wāhi ki ngā kare ā-roto ki tetahi ki nga taangata.

6. Kāore koe e ngaro i tō hoa rangatira

Kia maumahara ki ngā rā o te whakaipoipo i te wā e tino hiahia ana kōrua ki te tūtaki tetahi ki tetahi. Ka ngaro tō hoa rangatira, ā, ka tirotiro tonu koe i a koe waea mō āna karere kuputuhi.

Kāore ōu kare ā-roto i te rite tonu i ēnei rā? Kei te pai ake tō wairua i te korenga o tō hoa rangatira? Ki te pai ake tō wairua i te korenga o tō hoa rangatira, ko te tikanga kei te tawhiti atu koe i a ia, ā, ko tōna ngaronga kāore e pā ki a koe pērā i te mea e tika ana mō te tokorua kua mārenatia.

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7. Kei te whakaaro koe kei te tata te mutunga o tō marena

Ina wehe kē kōrua i tō hoa rangatira, ka hiahia koe ki te whakarērea tō kōrua marena. Kei roto i tō puku te whakaaro kua tae te marena ki tōna taumata kua makona, ā, kāore e taea e kōrua te whakaroa. Ka tīmata koe te whakaaro ki te whakarere. 

Ka tīmata hoki te memeha haere o te tumanako iti i a koe mō tō marena, ā, ka whakaaro koe kāore he mea e toe ana i roto i te marena. E mōhio ana koe kua tata te mutunga o tō marena.

Ahakoa te wehewehe i roto i te marena, ehara i te mea ka mutu te marena. Me kōrero kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira, me kōrero mō ngā raruraru o te marena, me te mahi ki te whakatau i tēnā.

Ki te hiahia kōrua ki te mahi tahi ki te whakaora i tō kōrua marena, ka taea e kōrua te whakatika i ngā kino i puta i roto i te marena, ā, i ētahi wā tohutohu marena ka taea e ia te awhina i a koe. He huarahi whai hua hei whakaora i te marena ko te whai te rongoā a te tokorua. Mā te whai whakaaro tuatoru kore whakaaro ka āwhina i a kōrua ko tō hoa ki te whakatuwhera i ō kōrua whakaaro me te tautuhi i ngā raruraru tūturu o te marena. Mēnā kei te mau tonu te tumanako, ka taea tonu te whakaora i tō kōrua marena.

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Me pēhea te neke whakamua ina kei te aroha tonu koe ki tō hoa o mua?

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