Kia pehea te roa o te wā o te Marama Hanemine?

Porohia te aroha

Kua kite koe i te wā e taka ana te whanaungatanga ki ngā wai pōrearea, ka mahara te tangata ki ngā rā tuatahi i pāngia ai e te aroha? "He tino aroha ia i te tīmatanga o tā māua haerenga ki waho. I tino manaaki ia i ahau." "I te tīmatanga o tā māua haerenga ki waho, he tino whakaaro nui, he tino manaaki hoki ia. Āe, me i taea e au te whakahoki mai i taua momo wahine." I roto i te kōrero whanaungatanga, ka kiia aua rā pai ko te wā honimene, ko te wā keke iti rānei. I te mea he kanapa, he whero hoki te āhua o ngā mea katoa, he mea maori te whakaaro, "Kia pēhea te roa o te wā honimene?"

Ahakoa kei te tata koe ki te tīmata i tētahi hononga hou, kei te rerekē rānei tō hononga o nāianei i te moenga rōhi o mua, mā te mōhio ki ngā mea ka puta ina memeha te wā marena ka āwhina i a koe ki te whakatere i ngā wāhanga rerekē o te aroha. Nō reira, hopukia tō kawhe ka noho mārie, kei te tata mātou ki te tuku atu i te katoa o ngā ira e iwa o te wāhanga marena me te taha o ngā mea ka puta mai i muri i te wā marena i roto i tētahi hononga.

He aha te Wāhanga o te Marama Hanemine o te Hononga?

Ripanga o Ihirangi

Ko te wā honimene e pā ana ki te tīmatanga o tētahi hononga hou i te wā e pāngia ana te tokorua e te harikoa nui o te ngākau nui, te aroha, me te kukume tinana. I ia wā oho ake, ka whakaaro tonu koe ki tēnei tangata motuhake. Ka tino aroha koe, ā, kāore e taea e koe te mutu te menemene. Ka tere te manawa i te kitenga atu i a rāua, ā, ka tiaho koe pērā i te miriona ngārara!

Koinei te wā whakaipoipo, he nui ake tō aroha, he iti ake te whawhai; he wā o ngā whakaipoipo aroha maha me ngā kōrero mutunga kore. Ko te whakapau i te wā kounga me tō hoa wahine te mea nui ki a koe. Kāore e warewarehia ngā mura o te moepuku i te wā honi o te whanaungatanga. Kāore e taea e kōrua te pupuri i ō kōrua ringa tetahi ki tetahi.

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I ēnei rā tōmua, kei te pai tonu ō kōrua whanonga. Mai i te whakawhiti i ō kākahu me te hoko koha utu nui ki te noho ara i te pō katoa ki te kōrero, ka taea e koe te mahi i tetahi mea hei whakapati i tēnei tangata ki a koe. I ngā marama tuatahi, ka titiro koe ki tō hoa hou mā roto i ngā karāhe kanapa o te miharo me te whakamihi. Ka waiho koe kia miharohia e tōna ataahua. Kāore e taea e rātou te mahi he, kāore e taea e rātou te kōrero kino. Ko te nuinga o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine kāore e kite i tētahi tohu whero tae noa ki te tūhura i ngā wāhanga uaua o te aroha.

te wāhanga honi o te whanaungatanga — I te wā o te honi, kāore e taea te pupuri i ō ringaringa tetahi ki tetahi

Kia pehea te roa o te wā o te Marama Hanemine?

Nā, kua tae ki te wā ki te kōrero ki te mea nui – kia pēhea te roa o te wā honi i roto i te whanaungatanga? Ko te mea nui ake, ka taea e te wā honi te pumau ake ake? Āe, ahakoa te hiahia ki te pupuri i te tête-à-têtes aroha me te taatai hihiri , he haerenga ngahau te wā keke iti ka mutu tonu.

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Hei kimi i te whakautu mō te roa o te wā honi, me mārama koe ko tēnei harikoa, te whakahihiri, te kare ā-roto o te 'aroha'—he hua noa iho ēnei o ētahi tauhohenga matū i roto i tō tātou roro. Me tūhuratia ētahi raraunga rangahau:

E ai ki te ako, ko te oranga tonutanga o te aroha aroha e pā ana ki te whakahohenga o ngā rohe o te roro e nui ana te dopamine me te oxytocin
tetahi tuhinga whakaputaina i roto i American Scientific e kōrero ana mō tētahi rangahau e whakaatu ana i te nui ake o te taumata tipu io o te hunga kua takakau ki te aroha i te hunga takakau, i te hunga rānei e noho roa ana i roto i ngā whanaungatanga. Ko te kaute NGF teitei ake e tohu ana i te pikinga o ngā kare ā-roto o te harikoa me te piripono i roto i te tangata. Ko te mea whakamere ko te rerekētanga o te taumata NGF me te cortisol i waenga i ēnei rōpū e rua ka heke i roto i ngā marama 12-24.
I te kōrero ki a American Scientific nā Gary W. Lewandowski, Jr., ahorangi tuarua mō te hinengaro i Te Whare Wānanga o Monmouth, "E kī ana ēnei kitenga he wheako whakaohooho engari he wheako ahotea te aroha aroha. He poto noa iho ēnei huringa ā-tinana, nā te mea pea ka taunga tātou ki tō tātou hoa i te roanga o te wā."

Ā, koinei tētahi o ngā take nui ka memeha haere te wā honi. Nō reira, kia pēhea te roa o te wā honi i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga? He rerekē tēnā i ia tokorua, i ia tokorua, i te mea ka tere haere ia whanaungatanga. Ahakoa te onge, tera pea ētahi tokorua e whakautu ana i te pātai, ka taea te roa tonu te wā honi? Waihoki, i muri i te toru tekau mā whā tau o tā rāua marena.

Ahakoa ngā tūponotanga, ko te tikanga, ko te wā honi o te whanaungatanga ka roa pea mai i ētahi wiki ki ētahi marama, tae atu ki te tau. E ai ki tētahi rangahau i te tau 2015 , ko te wā honi ka roa pea mai i te ono marama ki te tata ki te 2.5 tau. Engari ko te nuinga o te tangata kāore e taea te pupuri i te mura o te aroha i muri i ngā wāhanga tino tīmatanga, ā, he mea noa iho tēnā. Ehara i te tohu kāore koe i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga harikoa, hauora hoki.

Me pēhea te mohio kua mutu te wā honi?

Kāore he huarahi hei matapae i te roa o te wā o te marena. Ā, ki te pātai mai koe ki a mātou, kaua e aro nui ki tēnei. Ka whakangaro noa i te makutu o te wā marena o te whanaungatanga. I te mea ka taea e koe te aroha nui ake, te whawhai iti iho, me te pārekareka ki te whanaungatanga nui, kia maumahara ki tēnei karakia harikoa i roto i tō ao. Heoi, ki te mea kei te tīmata koe ki te whakaaro kei te hē tetahi mea i waenganui i a koe me tō hoa wahine, tera pea nā te mea kua pakū te mirumiru poto me te reka o te wā keke iti. Anei ētahi tohu hei mōhio kua mutu te wā marena :

I te tangohia o ō mōhiti kanohi rōhi, ka kite koe i tō hoa i roto i te tirohanga tūturu, ā, ka kitea nuitia ake ōna āhuatanga kino me ōna whanonga whakarihariha.
I muri i te hekenga o te nui o te dopamine, ka huri ngā mahi noa pēnei i te mātakitaki kiriata tahi, te hikoi rānei i tino whakahihiri i mua hei mahi noa iho.
I te wā i muri i te marena manuhiri, ka tīmata koe ki te kite i ngā tohu kino o te whanaungatanga, ahakoa pai ki a koe, kāore rānei, ka arahi atu ki ngā whakahē me ngā tautohe.
Ka pāngia hoki tō oranga moepuku i tēnei wā whakaipoipo. Ka memeha haere te hiahia tinana e mura ana i ngā wāhanga tuatahi.
Ka whakaitihia e koe te te wā kounga e noho tahi ana kōruaHe mea noa te kore e tūtaki tetahi ki tetahi i ia rā.
I muri i te wā aroha, ka mutu tō whakaari i a koe anō he wairua ma, ā, ka noho humarie koe ki te kite i a koe anō i roto i ōu PJ me ō makawe paru, ka whakamahi rānei i tētahi kupu kanga i mua i a rātou.

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He aha ngā āhuatanga ka puta i muri i te wā o te honi i roto i te whanaungatanga?

Nā te mea kua mārama kē tātou ki te roa o te wā honi i roto i te whanaungatanga, me tīmata tātou ki te whakamārama i ngā mea ka puta i muri i te wā honi i roto i te whanaungatanga. Tuatahi, me mārama koe he wā whakaipoipo noa iho tēnei, ehara i te mea hei whakatau i ō kare ā-roto tetahi ki tetahi. Kāore te memeha haere o te wā honi i te rite ki te ngaro o te aroha ki tō hoa.

Ehara i te mutunga o te ao; kei te neke noa koe ki te taumata e whai ake nei i roto i ngā wāhanga rerekē o te aroha. Mena kei te āwangawanga koe mō te momo heke mai ka taea e koe te tumanako me tō hoa, me ārahi koe i roto i ngā wāhanga rerekē o te piripono e whai ake nei i te wāhanga honi o te whanaungatanga:

Ngā kōrero mō te aroha me te whanaungatanga

1. Whakakore

Ko te wāhanga e whai ake nei ka puta mai ngā momo āwangawanga, ngā āwangawanga, me ngā tirotiro i te pono. Kātahi ka tīmata te ahua hē o tētahi mea i roto i tō kōrua whanaungatanga. Ka paheke tō hoa i te tūranga i whakatakotoria e koe ki a ia, ā, ka kite koe i a ia mō tōna āhua tūturu.

Ki te tino rangatira rawa tetahi o ngā hoa, ki te tino rangatira rawa, ki te iti rānei te tawhiti o te wairua i a ia, ka puta he pakanga mana i waenganui i a rāua . Mēnā ka riro i tetahi te mana whakahaere, ka kore rānei e wātea ki a ia ngā kare ā-roto, ka pātai te hoa kē atu mō tō rāua hototahitanga, ka noho pōuri ki te pūtake o te whanaungatanga, ā, ka ruarua i ngā tūponotanga o te harikoa ā muri ake nei i waenganui i a rāua.

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Me pēhea te whakatere i te wāhanga whakapouri

Ko te wā o te pouri te wāhanga tino uaua mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine katoa. Ahakoa he iti noa te raruraru, tera pea ka hiahia koe ki te whakamutu i ngā mea mō ake tonu atu. Engari he torutoru ā mātou tinihanga hei āwhina i a koe kia kaha ake ai te noho tahi me te tokorua:

Kia maumahara ki te tū pakari i te wā e wātea ana ngā huringa
Me whakapau kaha koe ki te whakaae ki ngā rerekētanga me te whakaute i te tuakiri o tō hoa.
Ko te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero tuwhera te otinga pai rawa atu hei whakamana i ō hiahia me te mārama ki ngā hiahia o tētahi ki tētahi ngā tumanakohanga mai i tēnei whanaungatanga
Me whai wāhi ōrite ngā hoa e rua ki tēnei haerenga hei hanga i tētahi whanaungatanga hauora.
Ae, me whakapau kaha koe ki te puta i tēnei wāhanga engari kaua rawa e whakarērea ō uara me ō rohe, kaua hoki e whakaae ki ngā mea kāore e taea te whiriwhiri.

2. Whakapiri

Ae, he mahi uaua pea te pupuri i te mura o te aroha i tēnei wā. Engari ko te mea e puta mai ana i muri i te wā marena hou i roto i te whanaungatanga he nui ake te whai hua i te harikoa o te whanaungatanga e tipu haere ana. I te wā piripono, ka kite koe i te hononga kare ā-roto me te ngoikore, ā, ka kite koe i te āhua tūturu o tetahi ki tetahi. I tēnei wā ka tīmata te whakawhirinaki o ngā hoa tokorua ki a rāua anō. Ka hangaia e rāua te whakawhirinaki, ka kohikohi i te kaha pumau ki te piri tahi, ahakoa ngā āhuatanga.

Me pēhea te whakatere i te wāhanga tāpiri

Kāore anō kia pakaru rawa tō kōrua hononga. I a kōrua e tūtaki ana tetahi ki tetahi i roto i tētahi tirohanga hou, he nui tonu ngā miharotanga, ngā pouri, ngā mamae, me ngā pōuri kei mua i a kōrua. Ka huaki mai ngā wero hou i ia rā, i ia rā. Ko te roanga o te oranga o tō kōrua hononga kei te āhua o tō whakahaere i ēnei kare ā-roto katoa, me te mahi i tō ara ki tētahi hononga pumau. Anei tā mātou e kī atu nei:

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Koinei tō wā ki te mōhio hohonu atu ki tō hoa rangatira. Nō reira, whakapaua te wā ki a rātou i ngā wā katoa e taea ana.
Kaua e mataku kei ngoikore koe i mua i a rātou
Akohia, ā, kia mōhio ki ngā āwangawanga, ngā whara, me ngā whakaaro pōuri o tētahi ki tētahi. He mea nui tēnei hei hanga i tētahi hononga kare ā-roto kaha.
Kia aro nui ki ngā mea e ngākau nui ana tō hoa. Ngāna ki te tātari i ngā mea mai i tōna tirohanga. Ehara te rere takitahi i te tohu o ngā whanaungatanga hauora. Me whai wāhi koe ki te mahi tahi me te rōpū.
Kaua e huna ō raruraru. Mō te hononga pumau, kia mau tonu te huarahi e aro ana ki te otinga. te taupatupatu tautohe

ngā wāhanga o te hinga ki te aroha — I muri i te wā honi, ka tīmata koe ki te kite i tō hoa rangatira mō tōna āhua tūturu.

3. Te hononga pumau

Kei te mahara koe ki te tīmatanga o tēnei kōrero? Ka taea e te wā honi te mau tonu ake ake? Ki taku whakaaro ka whakaae koe ahakoa te nui o tā tātou tautoko i te aroha pakiwaitara kia kore e memeha, ko tēnei wā whakatau whakamutunga tā tātou whāinga whakamutunga. Whai muri i te rere i roto i ngā wai pōrearea mō te wā roa, ka tae atu koe ki tētahi āhua marino, pumau.

Kāore he ohorere e toe ana; kāore he mea hei huna tetahi i tetahi. Kua hanga ngātahi kōrua i tētahi kōhanga haumaru hei poipoi i tō kōrua aroha. Ka whiwhi kōrua i te whakamarie me te haumaru i roto i te kamupene o tetahi ki tetahi. Ko te pekepeke me tō hoa pēnei i te neke tahi ki te noho tahi , te taumau rānei, he pai ake te āhua i tēnei wā. Anō, he nui ake tō kōrua aroha ki te whawhai, he iti ake te whawhai!

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Me pēhea te whakahaere i tētahi hononga pumau

Tuatahi, he mihi nui ki a kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira mō tō haerenga mai ki konei. E kite ana mātou kāore kōrua e taea te wehe. Engari he rite te aroha ki te manu aute ka paheke atu i tō ringaringa mēnā kāore kōrua e aro atu mō tētahi wā poto noa iho. Nā te mea e hiahia ana tātou katoa ki tētahi mutunga pakiwaitara mō tō whanaungatanga, anei ētahi tohutohu hei whakapakari i te hononga ki tō hoa rangatira :

Kaua e tukua tō aroha kia totohu i raro i ngā pire hoko kai me ngā koha o te tari. Kia mau tonu ai te mura o te aroha, me haere tonu te whakawhanaungatanga, whakapaua he wā kounga, kawea mai he putiputi ki a rātou, whakaritea he ohorere, haere hararei.
Ki te tino māhaki rawa koe i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, ka wareware noa iho koe tetahi ki tetahi. Kia kaua e huri hei hoa tawhiti, hei hoa whakahihi, whakapuakihia tō whakawhetai, kī atu ki a rātou te nui o tō aroha ki a rātou i te iti rawa i te kotahi i te rā, ā, kia mau tonu ki ō kupu.
Whakanuia te whakapau kaha kua whakaritea e kōrua tetahi ki tetahi. Ki te kore he pono, he mārama hoki, ka hinga pea te turanga katoa pērā i te whare kāri.
Mō ētahi tāne me ngā wāhine, tērā pea ka onge te kukume tinana i muri i te taenga ki tēnei taumata. He maha ngā huarahi hei whakapaipai i ngā mea i roto i te whare moenga – i puta ake i te whakaaro, he mahi whakaari?

Tohutohu Matua

Ko te wā honi te tīmatanga o te whanaungatanga ina noho tonu te tokorua ki te mātakitaki i te hoa rangatira o tētahi ki tētahi, me te kore e manukanuka ki te ao.
Ka roa pea tēnei wāhanga mai i ētahi marama ki te 2.5 tau, i runga i te hononga kare ā-roto o te tokorua me ētahi atu āhuatanga.
I muri i te memeha haere o te harikoa tuatahi, ka tae mai te ao pōuri, ā, ka tīmata te tokorua e aroha ana ki te kite i ngā āhuatanga me ngā ngoikoretanga o tētahi ki tētahi.
I a rātou e tae atu ana ki te wāhanga piripono, ka whanake he hononga kaha ake i runga i te whakawhirinaki me te ngoikore.
I te wāhanga whakamutunga, ka pā ki a rāua te aroha marino, pumau, e tino piripono ana tetahi ki tetahi.

Thoughts Final

Nā te mea kua mōhio koe ki te whakautu, kia pēhea te roa o te wā honi, kua rite rānei koe ki te tūhura i ngā mahi mōrearea e haere ake nei me tō hoa aroha? Ae, he ngāwari ngā wāhanga tuatahi. He harikoa, he hihiri, me te kukume aukume e pupuri ana i a koe kia piri ki tō hoa. Ā, koinei te tūāpapa o te whanaungatanga.

Ahakoa rā, kāore he take e mataku ai koe i ngā uauatanga pea o te wā i muri i te marena manuhiri. Me whakaaro ki te mutunga o ō rā marena manuhiri he tīmatanga hou, he maha ngā mea ka taea. Ahakoa te wāhanga o te whanaungatanga kei roto koe, ko te mea nui kia whakanuia e kōrua te noho tahi o tētahi ki tētahi i roto i ō kōrua oranga, kia whakaute i te tuakiri o tētahi ki tētahi, kia mau tonu hoki tō kōrua aroha mō ake tonu atu.

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Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.