7 Ngā Tohu He Tāne Narcissist Huna Tāu, Me Pēhea Te Whakatau i Tēnei Āhua

Ehara i te mea ngāwari te whanaungatanga ki tētahi hoa rangatira e raru ana i te mate hinengaro. Whakaarohia te marena ki tētahi tangata whakahihi, ā, e ora ana i te ao mā te whakamanawareka i a rātou anō, mā te aro atu rānei ki ngā hua o te whakaiti i a rātou, te taha rānei, te huna i a rātou. He tino uaua ki te whakaae kāore koe i te whai tikanga i roto i te whanaungatanga tino piripono o tō ao ahakoa e mōhio ana koe ki tāu e pā ana. Ka nui haere te uaua ina pā ana koe ki tētahi tāne whakahihi huna.

He rerekē ki ō rātou hoa e kitea whānuitia ana (e aro nui ana rānei ki te tangata), he nui ake te aro ki a rātou anō, ā, he māmā ake te kite, he māia ake, he huna hoki te huarahi e whakatata atu ai te tangata whakahihi huna. Ka ako rātou i ngā whanonga hei huna i ō rātou āhua whakahihi, ā, ka uaua ake te kite a te hoa i ngā tohu kino tae noa ki te mutunga rawa. Ki te tīmata koe ki te whakapae kei te rite te waiaro me ngā āhuatanga o tō tāne ki te whanonga whakahihi, ā, kei te tīmata koe ki te hono i ngā ira ki te āhua o tō whanaungatanga me te pānga ki tō hauora hinengaro, tera pea ka pōuri koe, ka kore hoki e tumanako, inā koa mēnā ehara i te mea he kōwhiringa te wehe atu.

Ahakoa he uaua te āhuatanga, ka kitea e koe he huarahi hei whakahaere i tēnei āhuatanga me te kore e tukua tō whakaaro ki a koe anō kia pāngia e te kino. Kei konei mātou hei āwhina i a koe ki te whakaaro me pēhea te whakahaere i tētahi tāne whakahihi i runga i te kōrero ki tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro. Āhana Lahoty (Tohu Paerua i roto i te Hinengaro Hauora), he tohunga ki te tuku ratonga tohutohu mō te whānuitanga o ngā mate hauora hinengaro.

Ko wai te tangata whakahihi huna?

E ai ki a Ashna, kia mārama ai te tangata ki te mahi a te tangata whakahihi ngaro, me mārama ia ki te mate hinengaro whakahihi. I roto i te American Psychiatric Association papakupu, e tautuhia ana te whakapehapeha ko te aroha nui rawa ki a ia anō, ko te whakapehapeha rānei.

Mā tēnei whakamāramatanga ka mārama ai koe ki te aha mate tuakiri taakaro e pā ana ki tēnā. He āhuatanga hauora hinengaro tēnei e hua ake ai te whakanui i te whakaaro ko wai ia, ā, ka waiho te tangata e pāngia ana me te tirohanga teitei rawa atu mō tōna hiranga. Ko te kore rawa o te aroha he āhuatanga motuhake anō hoki o te mate whaiaro whakahihi. Mā te whakakotahi i ēnei āhuatanga ka kore e taea e te tangata whakahihi te aro, te mārama rānei ki ngā kare ā-roto o ētahi atu.

E whakamārama ana a Ashna, "Ko te tangata whakahihi he kupu e whakamahia ana hei whakaahua i te hunga e whakaatu ana i ēnei āhuatanga whakahihi. Tērā pea ka puta ko rātou he hunga whaiaroaro, he hunga whakahaere, me te mea kāore e aro ki tētahi atu engari ko rātou anō. E rua ngā momo: ko te hunga whakahihi e kitea ana, me te hunga huna. Ahakoa he maha ngā āhuatanga ōrite o ngā momo e rua, tae atu ki te kore aroha, te whakanui i a rātou anō, me te hiahia kia whakamoemititia, he rerekē te āhua o te whakaaturanga o ia momo ki waho."

"Ko te rerekētanga matua ko te hunga whakahihi huna he ātaahua ki te whakaatu i ngā āhuatanga me ngā au o te whakahihi. Tērā pea ka kitea rātou he hunga e aro nui ana ki a rātou anō, ā, kāore i te māia. He aro nui rātou ki ngā whakahe, ā, ka whakaatu pea i ō rātou riri mā roto i ngā huarahi koretake-whakaeke. Ko te hunga whai whakahihi huna ka whakawhirinaki hoki ki ētahi atu hei hanga i ō rātou whakaaro nui ki a rātou anō. He au tō rātou ki te pupuri i te mauahara, ā, ka puta mai i roto i ngā huarahi rapu utu ātaahua."

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Te whakapehapeha huna me te whakapehapeha kitea

He uaua ki te hono i te whakapehapeha ki ngā whanonga huna, me te kore e aro ki te ao, i runga i te tirohanga a te hunga e pāngia ana e tēnei mate hinengaro. Kia mārama ai ki te rerekētanga i waenganui i ngā mea e rua, he mea nui kia mārama ko te kupu "kitea" me te kupu "ngaro" he kupu e whakamahia ana hei whakarōpū i ngā whanonga e ngāwari ana te kite me ngā whanonga e kore e tino kitea.

I te mea he whānui te mahi a te mate hinengaro whakahihi, ka rerekē pea tōna āhua i runga i ngā āhuatanga pēnei i te tuakiri me te āhua. Hei mārama ake, me titiro tātou ki ngā rerekētanga i waenga i te hunga whakahihi huna me te hunga whakahihi mārama:

Ki te taea e koe te tautuhi i ēnei āhuatanga huna o te whakapehapeha, ā, ki te whakaaro kua pāngia koe e ēnei āhuatanga i roto i tō tāne, tera pea he tika ō whakapae. Kia tino mārama ai, me tūhuratia ētahi tohu o te whanonga whakapehapeha ngaro.

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7 Ngā Tohu He Uhi Tāu He Tāne Narcissist

He uaua te whanaungatanga ki te hunga whakahihi, nā te mea kei raro tonu koe i te huringa kino o te pōma aroha, te tinihanga aroha, te whakamārama hau, me te te whakahihi i te tangataKāore e taea te karo i te tukino kare ā-roto i roto i ngā whanaungatanga whakapehapeha, ā, ka pā kino ki te hauora hinengaro o te tangata i pāngia.

Mena kei te mahi koe me tētahi tāne whakahihi huna, he uaua pea te tautuhi i ngā tohu whakatūpato o tēnei mate hinengaro i te wā tōmua, nā te mea ko ngā tohu pēnei i te whakanui ake i a ia anō, te whakapehapeha, me te hiahia kia arohia, kia whakanuia, kāore pea i te tino kitea pērā i te tangata whakahihi mārama. Ehara tēnei i te kī kāore te tangata whakahihi huna e hiahia ki ēnei mea, engari tera pea ka rapua e rātou i ngā huarahi rerekē. Kia mārama ai koe me pēhea te whakahaere i tētahi tāne whakahihi huna me ngā āhua huna, me mōhio koe ki te āhua o ā rātou whanonga. Ka tohaina e Ashna ētahi āhuatanga me ngā tohu whakahihi huna hei tirotiro māu:

1. He pukuriri tō tāne

"Ko te riri puku tētahi o ngā āhuatanga matua o te whakapehapeha huna. Tērā pea ka kī tō hoa he "pai" ia, kāore rānei he "hē" ina kite koe kei te kitea tōna pouri, ā, kāore i te pai. Kātahi ka whakamahi pea ia i te wā e noho puku ana hei whakaatu i tōna riri, hei whakamahi rānei i te whakatoi, i te kōrero kino rānei, me te mihi whakamā ki a koe hei whakaatu i tōna riri," te kī a Ashna.

enei ngā auhoanga pukuriri-whakaeke he wāhanga matua o te tukino whakahihi e aro ana ki te whakangaro i te mana o te tangata i pāngia me te whakapono ki a ia anō. "E whakapae ana taku tāne whakahihi i ahau mō ngā mea katoa. He aha ahau te kore ai e taea te mahi i tetahi mea tika?" Ka tīmata pea ēnei kare ā-roto o te ruarua ki a koe anō te taumaha ki tō hinengaro ina mahi tahi koe me tētahi tāne whakahihi huna.

2. He tino hae ia

E kī ana a Ashna, "He āhua hae te hunga whakahihi huna ki ngā mea katoa. Nā te mea ko tō rātou ake ruarua me te kore whakapono ki a rātou anō e aukati ana i tō rātou kaha ki te whakatutuki i tā rātou e whakaaro ana ka taea e rātou, ka taea e rātou te riri me te riri ki ngā whakatutukitanga a ētahi atu, tae atu ki ngā whakatutukitanga a ō rātou hoa rangatira."

Ka kitea pinepine tēnei hae i roto i ngā kupu huna a te hunga whakapehapeha hei whakautu ki ngā whakatutukitanga a ētahi atu tāngata:

• "He aha koe i whakanui rawa ai i tētahi mea iti noa iho?"
• "Nō nā tata nei ahau i mahi i te XYZ, he tino uaua rawa atu tēnei"
• "I waimarie koe"
• "Āe, kua whakatairangatia koe. Ki tō whakaaro ka taea e koe te whakahaere i ngā kawenga e pā ana ki tō tūranga hou?"

Mena he āhuatanga tonu ēnei kōrero whakakorekore i roto i tō marena, he tohu tēnei kei te mahi koe me tētahi tāne whakapehapeha, whakahīhī hoki.

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3. He pai ki a ia te waihanga i te whakapoauautanga

He tangata whakahihi puku te tangata, ā, he tangata e pai ana ki te kōrero kino. Ki te kore ia e whakapae, e whakaiti rānei i a koe i runga i te āhua pukuriri, e whakaiti rānei i a koe nā te mea e hae ana ia ki a koe, ka pai ia ki te waiho i a koe kia pōhēhē.

Tērā pea ka whakamahia e ia ētahi tikanga matarohia ngā kīanga whakakā hau hei whakapohehe i tō tirohanga ki te ao tūroa, hei waiho i a koe kia ruarua. Anei te āhua o ēnei kīanga:

• "Ehara i te mea i kōrerotia e au"
• "Kei te kōrero ahau i tēnei nā te mea kāore koe e mōhio he aha te mea tika māu"
• "Kei te kaha koe"
• "Kei te kōrero/kei te mahi ahau i tēnei nā te mea e aroha ana ahau ki a koe"
• "He tairongo rawa koe"
• "Kei te mahi wairangi koe nā te mea e hae ana koe/e māharahara ana koe"

Ā, he aha ia i pērā ai? Nā te mea ka hoatu he mana ki a ia, ā, ka taea e ia te pupuri i te mana whakahaere o te kōrero me te ārahi i te whanaungatanga ki te huarahi e pai ana ki a ia. Ko te tukino me te whakahaere i te whakapehapeha he huarahi hei huri i te mana o te whanaungatanga hei painga mōna. Ā, ka whakamahia e ia tana patu tino kaha hei whakatutuki i taua whāinga.

4. He tino aro nui tō tāne ki ngā whakahe

Ki te mea kua moe tāu i tētahi tangata whakahihi, me whakaatu e koe ō rātou hapa me te kore e karanga i te whakahē, i te whakahē rānei te huri-whakapae kāore e taea nā te mea kāore e taea e rātou te kawe i te kawenga. "Tērā pea ka kite koe he tino aro nui tō tāne ki ngā whakahe. Ko tētahi o ngā take mō tēnei he whakapono huna a te tangata whakapehapeha he pai ake ia i te katoa," te whakamārama a Ashna.

Ko te whanonga whakahihi i te wā e whakahengia ana he tino kare ā-roto, he tino pōturi hoki. Ahakoa he kōrero iti noa iho, he nui hei whakapouri i a rātou, nā te mea ahakoa he nui rawa tō rātou whakaaro nui mō tō rātou hiranga, he tino whakawhirinaki hoki rātou ki te whakamana me te whakamoemiti mai i ō rātou "hoa aroha".

5. Ko te hiahia o tāu tāne te mea nui mō tō oranga moepuku

Ehara i te mea ko ngā tāngata whakahihi ngaro anake kore aroha engari ka taea hoki e rātou te tino aro ki a rātou anō i roto i tā rātou huarahi ki te whanaungatanga ā-tinana. I a rātou e pāngia ana e te aroha, tera pea he tino atawhai, he tino atawhai hoki tō tāne whakahihi i roto i te moenga, ka kite koe i taua huringa o te waiaro ina riro mai i a rātou tō whakaaro.

Ka whakaatu ia i te hiahia nui ki te whakamoemiti, ā, ka tumanako ia kia arotahi te moepuku ki tana hiahia, engari ko ia tonu e noho puku ana, e noho wehe ana i te wā katoa. Ina tīmata tēnei āhua ki te whakararu i a koe, ka riri ia ki a koe mō te kore e mahi i ngā mea katoa hei whakamanawareka i a ia. Nō reira, ka huri pea tāu marena hei marena kore ira tangata i roto i te wā.

Ki te tupu tēnā, ka hohoro tonu ia te kī atu kia rapu āwhina koe mō tō kore e taea te noho piripono ki a ia me te kore e whakaae ki tana kawenga mō te wāhi i roto i te raruraru.

6. Kāore ia e mārama ki ngā rohe

He kino ngā rohe mō tō hoa rangatira whakahihi huna, nā te mea ka ārai i tōna kaha ki te whakahaere me te whakahaere i a koe. Haunga tēnā, ko te whakahihi huna e akiaki ana i tana whanonga ka meinga ia kia whakaaro he tika ia ki te whiwhi i tana e hiahia ana, me te wā e hiahia ana ia. Ka ārai anō hoki ngā rohe i tēnā.

"Ko tētahi o ngā tohu tino kitea o te tangata whakahihi huna ko te kore e mārama ki te ariā o ngā rohe whaiaro, ā, kāore hoki i a ia aua rohe. Ki te mahi tō tāne pērā i te patunga, ā, e kī ana ia he mokemoke ia, he takitahi hoki, ā, e whanonga ana me te mea kua whakakahoretia e koe tōna noho i roto i tō ao i te wā tonu ka tono koe mō tētahi wāhi me te tawhiti, kei te mahi koe me tētahi tangata whakahihi huna," te kī a Ashna.

Koinei tonu te take ka tīmata ai ngā whanaungatanga ki te hunga whakahihi i te te wāhanga whakapōrearea aroha he nui rawa ngā mea e tupu ana i mua i te wā e taea ai e koe te mārama he aha te mea. Ka taea e tēnei te arahi ki tētahi whanaungatanga piripono. Ahakoa he rite te ahua o te noho kotahi me tō hoa ki tētahi whakaaro aroha, ki te ngaro tō tuakiri me tō wairua takitahi i a koe anake, he tunu kai tēnei mō te paitini.

7. He tangata rapu aro ia ki ngā pukapuka ako

AU! AU! AU! Tirohia mai ahau, whakarongo mai ki ahau, miharo mai ki ahau, kōrero mai mōku, whakatutuki i aku hiahia…Ahakoa kāore te tangata whakahihi huna e whakaatu ana i tōna hiahia kia arohia, kia whakamoemititia, e hiahia ana ia ki tēnā me ōna kakano katoa. "He maha ngā wā ka puta tēnei hei whanonga rapu aro nui," te kī a Ashna.

Anei ngā mahi a te tangata whakahihi ngaro whanonga rapu aro tērā pea ka rite te āhua ki:

• Te whakahaere i ngā kōrerorero
• Te whakaiti i ā rātou ake whakatutukitanga kia taea ai e ētahi atu te whakamoemiti i a rātou
• Ka huna noa i tētahi mea kua oti i a rātou, kua tutuki rānei i a rātou ki roto i ngā kōrero hei whiwhi mihi me te whakamoemiti
• Te aro atu ki ētahi atu ina whāngaihia e ia tō rātou hiahia kia whai whakaaro nui ki a rātou anō

5 Ngā Huarahi hei Whakatau i te Marenatanga me te Tangata Whakahīhī Huna

Nā te mea kua kitea e koe ngā tohu o tētahi tāne whakahihi huna, kua whakamāramahia pea ngā āhuatanga raruraru o tō whanaungatanga. Hei tauira, ko te whakaaro "kei te whakapae taku tāne whakahihi i ahau mō ngā mea katoa" kāore pea koe e noho pōuri pērā i mua nā te mea e mārama ana koe ki te pūtake. Tērā pea ka mōhio koe kei te kōrero tō tāne whakahihi i ngā mea e kīia ana e ngā whakahihi huna kia noho tonu ai te mana whakahaere, kia... te whakahaere i ō rātou hoa mahi.

Nā, ko te pātai tēnei: ​​me aha koe ki tēnei mōhiotanga? Kāore e taea te whakakorekore, he mea kore e taea te hanga i tētahi whanaungatanga pai, whai hua ki tētahi hoa rangatira – he mea whakaatu noa iho, he mea huna rānei – ā, ko te wehe atu pea te whakatau pai rawa atu hei tiaki i a koe anō. Engari, mehemea, mō tētahi take, kāore e taea te wehe atu? Me whai pūkenga tika koe ki te whakatau i te whanonga rangatira o tō hoa rangatira.

Hei āwhina i a koe ki te whakamahi i ngā māramatanga kua kohia e koe hei pūkenga whakahaere i te raruraru, ka tukuna atu e mātou ēnei tohutohu e rima hei āwhina i a koe ki te whakatau i tētahi tāne whakahihi me ōna whanonga huna:

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1. Whakaritea nga rohenga marama

E ai ki tā mātou i kōrero ai, he uaua ki te hunga whakahihi huna te ariā o ngā rohe. Engari kia pai ai tō hauora hinengaro, kia taea ai hoki e koe te tū atu ki ō rātou āhua tukino, he mea tino nui kia arotahi koe ki te whakatū i ngā rohe mārama, mārama hoki i roto i te whanaungatanga.

"Tīmata mā te whakatakoto i ngā rohe hauora, ahakoa i roto i te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, i ngā hiahia rānei," te tohutohu a Ashna, me te tāpiri atu, "Engari kia rite hoki mō te pana atu nā te mea kāore tō tāne whakahihi huna e pai ki a ia ina tuhia e koe he rohe ki te onepū. He tino whakamataku tēnei mōna, ā, ka whakautu pea ia mā te patu, te whakaari rānei i a ia anō hei patunga."

Kaua e tukua ki raro i ēnei pēhanga, engari kia tū pakari. Anei ētahi tauira o ngā mea e whai ake nei ngā rohe hauora i roto i te whanaungatanga me te tangata whakahihi ngaro ka rite ki te ahua:

• Kaua e tukua ia kia kōrero ki a koe i tana e pai ai
• Kaua e tukua ia kia mawhiti i te kore whakaute i a koe
• Te tono kia rangona ō whakaaro me ō whakaaro
• Te kī kāo, me te tohe kia whakaaetia e ia taua whakautu
• Te tono wāhi ina hiahiatia

2. Whakaritea nga tumanakohanga pono

“Tautuhi tūmanako kiko "ka taea e koe te āwhina i a koe ki te whakatere i tēnei whanaungatanga me te iti rawa o te kino o te kare ā-roto," te kī a Ashna. Ko te tikanga o tēnei ko te whakaae kāore e taea e te tangata he mate hinengaro whakapehapeha te tuku i te aroha, te ngākau aroha, me te manaaki e tika ana mō te hanga whanaungatanga ora.

Mā tēnei whakaae ka noho hei whakamahara e kore rawa tēnei e rite ki te āhua o tētahi hononga piripono noa. Ina whakawhāitihia e koe ō tumanakohanga mai i tō hoa rangatira, ka māmā ake te noho tahi me ia.

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3. Hangaia he punaha tautoko

Ka angitu te hunga whakahihi ki te wehe i ā rātou patunga mai i te porowhita o roto o te iwi nā te mea e hangai ana ki tā rātou hiahia ki te whakahaere i ō rātou hoa me te whakahaere i a rātou. Nō reira, ka noho mokemoke pea koe, ka wehea hoki i te hunga e aroha pono ana, e manaaki ana hoki i a koe.

Nā te mea kua kite koe i tō tāne whakahihi huna, kua tae ki te wā ki te whakarerekē i tēnei. "Hangaia he pūnaha tautoko hauora hei āwhina i a koe ki te kite mārama i ngā āhuatanga ina ruarua koe, ina kore rānei koe e tino mōhio mēnā kei te whakahaerehia koe e te tangata, nā te mea he tino mārō te āhua," te kī a Ashna.

Nō reira, whakapā atu ki ō whānau me ō hoa tata, ka kōrero ki a rātou. Kōrerohia ō wheako, ā, whakawhirinaki atu ki a rātou mō te tautoko. Te whakatau i tō hoa rangatira me te ngā raruraru o tō marena ka tino māmā ake te mahi mēnā kei a koe te tautoko a te hunga e arohaina ana e koe hei āwhina i a koe.

4. Karanga atu ki a ia

Ko tā Ashna tohutohu, "Ina kite koe i tō hoa rangatira e whakaatu ana i ngā āhuatanga o te whakapehapeha huna, tohua atu, ka arahina atu tō rātou aro ki taua āhuatanga. Tērā pea ka whakakahoretia e rātou, engari i te iti rawa ka mōhio koe kua mahia e koe te mea i taea e koe."

Heoi, kia tino mahi koe i tēnei mahi ina tino mohio koe kāore e pā kino ki a koe. Ki te whakaaro koe ka taea e tō hoa te whakapiki i ā rāua mahi tukino ki te tutu, he pai ake te wehe mārire atu i a ia (ahakoa kei te noho tonu kōrua i roto i te marena, ā, kei te noho tahi kōrua i te whare kotahi).

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5. Rapua he awhina ngaio

Ko te ngana ki te hanga i tētahi oranga me te whai hua o tētahi marena me tētahi tāne whakahihi huna, he rite ki te oma i runga i tētahi puke me ngā kohatu nunui e hinga ana ki a koe. E tino pāngia ana koe e te whiu me te whara. He maha ngā wā ka raru te hunga i pāngia e te tukino whakahihi ki te maha o ngā raruraru hauora hinengaro, mai i te manukanuka ki te mate ahotea muri-traumatic (PTSD) me te pouri nui.

He mea nui kia aro nui ki te tiaki i a koe anō, kia whiwhi ai koe i te āwhina e hiahiatia ana hei whakahaere i ngā patunga kare ā-roto o te noho i roto i tēnei whanaungatanga. Ki te mea kei te rapu āwhina ngaio koe, kia mōhio koe kei te wātea ngā kaiwhakatakoto whakaaro mohio me te wheako ki te Te rōpū a Bonobology kei konei mo koe.

Ko te noho tahi me tētahi tāne whakahihi huna, he moemoeā kino rawa atu pea. Kāore he tangata e tika ana kia tukinotia pērā i te whanonga a ngā whakahihi ki ngā tāngata o roto i ō rātou ao. Me whiwhi anō hoki koe i te pai ake. Engari, ki te kore e taea te whakawātea i a koe i tēnei whanaungatanga, ko te mea pai ko te whakamahi i te pai o tētahi āhuatanga kino. Ko tā mātou e tumanako nei, mā ngā tohutohu me ngā māramatanga i tukuna atu e mātou ki a koe e āwhina i a koe ki te whakatutuki i tēnā.

Te Whakamahinga Aroha – 15 Ngā Mea e Whakaahua Ana Hei Aroha

8 Ngā Huarahi hei Noho Hauora i te Wā e Wehe Ana i tētahi Tāne Whakahīhī

7 Ngā Take Kāore e Taea e te Hunga Whakahīhī te Pupuri i ngā Hononga Whaiaro

Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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