ADHD ndi Maubwenzi: Kodi Zimakhudza Bwanji Maanja?

Kufalitsa chikondi

ADHD kapena Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder ndi vuto la neurodevelopmental. Zimenezi zikutanthauza kuti ndi mkhalidwe umene kaŵirikaŵiri umayamba paubwana wake, ndipo mwinamwake udzakhala bwenzi lake lokhazikika kwa moyo wonse. Ngati ndinu munthu amene mukuyang'ana chibwenzi ndi munthu yemwe ali ndi ADHD, ichi ndichinthu chofunikira kukumbukira komanso chovuta kuchikumba. ADHD ndi maubwenzi amatha kukhala pamodzi, ndithudi.

Mukakumana ndi munthu yemwe ali ndi ADHD, ndikofunikira kudziwa kuti ngakhale boo wanu ali ndi vutoli, sizimatanthauzira. Koma zimakhudza moyo wawo watsiku ndi tsiku ndi machitidwe awo. Kukhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu yemwe ali ndi ADHD ndikosiyana pang'ono ndi kukhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu yemwe alibe ADHD kapena autism ndipo sawonetsa zizindikiro za minyewa yosadziwika bwino. Koma, ndisanalowe momwe ADHD ndi maubwenzi zimagwirira ntchito mosiyana, tiyeni timvetsetse chomwe chiri komanso momwe zimagwirira ntchito kwa akuluakulu.

Kodi ADHD ndi chiyani?

M'ndandanda wazopezekamo

ADHD nthawi zambiri imapezeka mwa ana omwe amawoneka kuti akuvutika kuti aganizire ntchito kapena kukhala chete kwa nthawi yaitali. Koma, ngakhale kuchepa kwa chidwi komanso kukhudzidwa kwambiri nthawi zambiri kumalumikizidwa ndi vutoli, ADHD nthawi zambiri imadziwika ndi zovuta zambiri. M'malo mwake, si folx onse omwe ali ndi ADHD omwe angawonetse zizindikiro za kunyanyira.

Izi ndi zoona makamaka kwa akazi ndi anthu omwe ali ndi vuto la maganizo la queer folx . Popeza kafukufuku wambiri wokhudzana ndi ADHD mpaka pano umayang'ana kwambiri anyamata achichepere a cis, akazi ndi anthu omwe ali ndi vuto la queer folx akhala asanadziwike - nthawi zambiri akakula.

Izi zimachitika makamaka chifukwa cha zomwe zimatchedwa "masking". Masking ndi mawu ambulera ya zizolowezi zomwe anthu a neurodivergent amapanga kuti abise kapena kubisa zomwe amachita. Ndipo popeza amayi ndi anthu opusa nthawi zambiri amakumana ndi chikhalidwe cha anthu chomwe chimawakumbutsa kuti asakhale ndi malingaliro, kukhala chete, kukhala ocheperako, komanso bata, amakhala obisika kumbuyo. Kwenikweni, masking nthawi zambiri imabwera mwachibadwa kwa iwo.

Kotero, ngakhale pamene akulimbana ndi zopinga zambiri zomwe ADHD imaponya m'njira zawo tsiku ndi tsiku, amatha "kubisa" zizindikirozo ndikudutsa ngati munthu wamaganizo. ADD ADD (kuchotsa gawo la kuchulukirachulukira), motero, imakhala yovuta kuizindikira, makamaka ndi maphunziro ndi zamankhwala omwe anthu alipo.

Kuti ndimvetse momwe izi ndi zina zokhudzana ndi ADHD zimakhudzira maubwenzi achikondi, ndinalankhula ndi Dokotala wa Zamaganizo Dr. Aman Bhonsle (PhD, PGDTA), yemwe ndi katswiri pa uphungu wa maubwenzi ndi Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy.

Kodi ADHD Imakhudza Bwanji Maubwenzi?

Ndinapezeka ndi ADD wamkulu chakumapeto kwa 2021. Panthawiyo ndinali nditakwanitsa zaka 20. Ndipo ndinali nditamva matendawa m'mafupa anga kwa zaka zoposa ziwiri. Ndidachita kafukufukuyu, ndidachita zokhudzana ndi ma memes a ADHD, ndipo ndidangodziwa kuti ndili nawo. Pambuyo pake, anthu ondizungulira sankawoneka kuti adumphira mitundu 35 ya ma hoops ndikuchita mitundu yonse ya masewera olimbitsa thupi, kuti atsimikizire matupi awo kuti agwirizane mokwanira kuti apange kapu ya tiyi.

Zinatengabe zaka 2, ndipo maulendo otopetsa kwa asing'anga 4 osiyanasiyana ndisanandipeze. Mwa "madokotala" 4 awa, m'modzi adandiuza kuti "zingochita!", Pomwe wina adalankhula za chikhalidwecho ngati wina angalankhule za unicorn - wokongola koma nthano pamapeto pake.

Chigawo chovuta kwambiri cha kusagwira bwino ntchito kwa akuluakulu pambuyo pake - chomwe chinandichititsa kuti ndisathe kudzuka pabedi langa ngakhale kupita kuchimbudzi, osasiyapo kuchita zinthu ngati munthu wogwira ntchito m'gulu - ndinapezeka ndi ADD wamkulu. Ndipo OCD. Ndipo nkhawa zachipatala. Komanso BPD yomwe ndinapezeka nayo ndili mwana. Chifukwa, ADHD ikafika, sichikonda kubwera yokha. Imakonda kubweretsa abwenzi ake. Chimodzi chokha - chimodzi mwazinthu zomwe zili pamndandandawu - nthawi zambiri zimakhala zokwanira kupanga tsiku lililonse, ntchito iliyonse yosavuta imawoneka ngati 10x zovuta. Phatikizani onse ndipo muli ndi ADHD.

N’zofanana kwambiri ndi kukakamizidwa kukhala paphwando limene sukudziwa aliyense. Ndipo aliyense wa alendo amenewo amakudani inu. Ndipo mudafika mochedwa ndikuyiwala kubweretsa zokomera phwando chifukwa ADHD yanu imakupangitsani kuiwala ndikusokoneza nthawi yanu. Ndipo nyumba yomwe phwandolo likuchitikira ikuyaka. Ndi momwe zimamvekera. Nthawi zonse. Pamene mukudya. Mukakhala kubafa. Pamene mukuyang'ana Netflix ndikudya paketi ya tchipisi koma osayang'ana pawonetsero, chifukwa mumafunika kudya chakudya chamasana maola awiri apitawo, koma thupi lanu likungokana kugwirizana.

Zikumveka zotopetsa, chabwino? Inde, ndiuzeni za izo.

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ADHD, motero, ndi chinthu chosasunthika, chokumana ndi chinthu chosasunthika. Mphamvu zimafunikira kuti muzichita zinthu nthawi zonse. Koma ubongo wanu sungathe kupangitsa thupi lanu kuyenda momwe likufuna. Chifukwa chake, mumakakamira nthawi zomwe mukuchita zinthu zomwe simukufuna, kwinaku mukukuwa mkati mwazinthu zomwe muyenera kuchita. Kudziko lakunja, zikuwoneka ngati mukudya tchipisi ndikuzengereza. Koma mkati, mukumenya nkhondo yomwe simupambana.

Izi, mwachionekere, zimakhudza mbali zonse za miyoyo yathu - yaumwini kapena yantchito. Chifukwa chake, ndithudi, maubwenzi achikondi nthawi zambiri amakhala nkhani zosokoneza. Ichi ndiye chiyambi cha kukayikira konse kokhudza ADHD ndi maubwenzi achikondi omwe anthu nthawi zambiri amakhala nawo. Matenda amisala nthawi zambiri amakhudza maubwenzi ogonana ndi achikondi ndipo, ngakhale kuti ADHD si matenda koma matenda, imawononga maubwenzi omwe timapanga ndi anthu.

Dr. Bhonsle akuti, "Munthu akakhala ndi ADHD, amavutika kukumbukira zinthu. Kuyang'ana kwambiri zinthu zomwe zilipo komanso zokambirana kumakhala kovuta kwa iye. ADHD yawo ingamupangitse kuchita zinthu molakwika. Adzakhala ndi chidwi ndi chinthu chimodzi lero ndi chinthu china chosiyana kwambiri mawa. Izi, ndithudi, zitha kutopetsa okwatirana ndi anzawo omwe angakhale nawo."

kutopa m'maganizo — Mavuto ocheza ndi munthu yemwe ali ndi ADHD

ADHD ndi Maubwenzi

Cholinga ndi zilakolako za munthu yemwe ali ndi ADHD nthawi zonse zimakhala zoyendayenda. Masiku ano, ndimakonda kwambiri kuluka ndipo ndakhala ndikuchita izi kwa maola 17 apitawa. Mawa, sindingafunenso kuyang'ana singano yoluka. Zilakolako zathu zimayaka bwino. Koma kenako, zimachepa, ndipo timapita ku chinthu china chosangalatsa.

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Kodi izi zimakhudza bwanji maubwenzi?

Maubwenzi omwe anthu omwe ali ndi ADHD amagawana ndi okondana nawo ndi osiyana pang'ono ndi maubwenzi okhudzana ndi ubongo. Munthu yemwe ali ndi ADHD nthawi zambiri amalumphira mu ubale watsopano. ADHD muubwenzi amatanthauzira kupsompsona mwachikondi, kuvina pamvula, kutengeka ndi mawu aliwonse a mnzathu, mayendedwe aliwonse. Chikondi chathu chimayaka ndi mphamvu. Koma mwadzidzidzi, tsiku lina, timachoka pa 100 mpaka 0.

Chizolowezichi chimapangitsa kukhala ndi munthu yemwe ali ndi ADHD kukhala kovuta pang'ono chifukwa nthawi zambiri chimasiya okondedwa athu osokonezeka komanso kumva kuti sakukondedwa muubwenzi . Koma sizili choncho nthawi zonse. Kufunafuna chinthu china chosangalatsa komanso chosangalatsa ndi khalidwe la ADHD, inde. Sizitanthauza kuti tikufuna kunyenga kapena kutsata ubale watsopano wowala.

ADHD Ndi Mavuto Ogwirizana Pachikondi

Mavuto a ADHD ndi maubwenzi nthawi zambiri amayendera limodzi, makamaka pamene m'modzi kapena onse awiri sanakonzekere zotsatira za matendawa. Kafukufuku wasonyeza kuti munthu amene ali ndi ADHD akhoza kukhala muubwenzi wachikondi wa nthawi yayitali. Koma zimafuna chikondi chachikulu, chifundo, ndi khama kuchokera kwa onse awiri. Ngati ndinu munthu amene mukukonzekera chibwenzi ndi mwamuna amene ali ndi ADHD, muyenera kukhala ndi chifundo. ADHD muubwenzi ili ngati mnzanu wachitatu amene muyenera kumuganizira mukamakonzekera ndikupanga zisankho. Muyenera kumvetsetsa kuti akachedwa kufika pa nthawi yokumana ndi munthu wina n’kuiwala masiku, sakuchita izi chifukwa cha nkhanza kapena kusowa chikondi. Alibe zida zomwe amafunikira kuti azitha kugwiritsa ntchito bwino nthawi.

Kwa ife, nthawi zina mphindi 5 ndi maola 4 zimaoneka ngati zikupita mofulumira. Chifukwa chake, muyenera kukhala oleza mtima komanso othandizira. Fotokozani momwe mukumvera m'malo mongofuna kungokhala chete . Kumbukirani, anthu omwe ali ndi ADHD nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi mavuto a nkhawa komanso kudziona ngati ofooka. Chifukwa chake, kuwapatsa kungokhala chete kungatsimikizire mantha awo akulu - kuti ndi olephera kwambiri ndipo simukuwakondanso.

Dr. Aman Bhonsle anati, “Ngati muli pachibwenzi ndi munthu wa ADHD, n’kofunika kwambiri kuti muzikumbukira kuti kuiwalako sikubwezera. quirks ndi zotsatira za chikhalidwe chimenecho. "

Koma si mabwenzi okha amene ayenera kuyika ntchito.

Momwe mungapezere chibwenzi mukakhala ndi ADHD

Dr. Bhonsle akuti, "Ngati muli ndi ADHD ndipo muli pachibwenzi chachikondi , muyenera kuphunzira momwe mungachitire ndi vuto lanu loiwala. Yesetsani kugwiritsa ntchito zida zokumbukira. Pali zolemba, makalendala, ndi mapulogalamu ogawana omwe angakuthandizeni kutsatira zinthu."

Chifukwa chake, ngati muli ndi ADHD ndipo muli pachibwenzi, muyenera kuyesetsa kwambiri. Kuzindikira kwachipatala kumathandiza, ngakhale sizofunikira kapena zotheka kupeza aliyense. Mankhwala amathandizanso. Tengani thandizo la mnzanuyo kuti mupange njira ndi mapulani omwe angakuthandizeni kuthana ndi zovuta zina.

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Fufuzani maphunziro aposachedwa ndi okondedwa anu ndikuyesera kukumba mozama chifukwa chomwe mukuchitira momwe mukuchitira. Mukangodziwa zomwe zikuchitika komanso chifukwa chake kuphunzira momwe mungathanirane nazo kuyenera kukhala kosavuta.

Chofunika kwambiri, kulankhulana wina ndi mnzake. Auzeni zomwe mukulimbana nazo. Aloleni akuuzeni zomwe akufuna kwa inu. Simungathe kuyang'ana kwambiri pazokambirana kwanthawi yayitali? Lembani. Lembani manotsi. Gwiritsani ntchito pambuyo pake. Ngakhale kuzilemba ndikutsata zinthu pamakalendala sikungakhale kothandiza nthawi zonse, kumakumbutsa mnzanuyo kuti mukuyesera. Ndipo kuti mumayamikira malingaliro awo ndipo muli mu izi pamodzi.

Chilakolako chathu chimatha pamene chinthu chatsopano chikutha. Izi zili choncho ngakhale ndi maubwenzi athu achikondi. Koma, chifukwa choti sitikusunganso boombox pansi pa zenera lanu mumvula yamphamvu, sizikutanthauza kuti tisiya kukukondani. Chifukwa chake, mukakhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu yemwe ali ndi ADHD, dziwani kuti chikondi chathu chili m'zochita zazing'ono zomwe timachita kuti tikupangitseni kumwetulira tsiku lililonse. Pokukonzerani chakudya cham'mawa pabedi ndikukupatsani ayisikilimu wathu woyamba womwe timakonda. M'dziko lomwe timatha kuthamangitsa chilichonse chatsopano komanso chowala, chikondi chathu chili m'kufuna kukalamba limodzi tsiku lililonse.

Ubwino Wocheza ndi Munthu Amene Ali ndi ADHD

Zedi, kukhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu yemwe ali ndi ADHD kungamve ngati ntchito. Koma kodi “mavuto” okhala ndi munthu wa ADHD amaposadi zopindulitsa?

Polankhula za ADHD ndi maubwenzi, anthu nthawi zambiri amangoyang'ana kwambiri mavuto omwe amabwera nawo. Ndipo nthawi zina njira zothetsera mavutowa zingagwiritsidwe ntchito. Koma, ngakhale kuti chibwenzi ndi mwamuna yemwe ali ndi ADHD kapena wina aliyense amene ali ndi ADHD nthawi zina chimakhala chotopetsa, chingakhalenso chopindulitsa kwambiri. Umu ndi momwe mungachitire:

1. Timakumbukira mfundo zofunika kwambiri

Pamene wina akuganiza za ADHD ndi maubwenzi, amaganiza zokhala ndi moyo ndi woyiwala, yemwe alibe bwenzi lake. Koma ngakhale titha kuphonya tsiku lanu lobadwa nthawi zina koma tidzakumbukira kuti kamodzi, usiku wabata wa Epulo, mudakondana ndi diresi lomwe simungakwanitse. Ndipo tidzachita zonse zomwe tingathe kuti tikupezereni - ngakhale patatha zaka zambiri.

Tidzakumbukira nkhani za kuseri kwa zipsera zanu zonse ndi momwe munalira kwambiri mutataya buku limene agogo anakupatsani. Anthu omwe ali ndi ADHD - anthu ngati ine, ndiye kuti - timakumbukira zinthu zofunika. Titha kuphonya masiku ndi nthawi yokumana, koma tikupezerani nthano yanu yomwe mumakonda kwambiri. Timakonda kusangalatsa anthu amene timawakonda. Ndipo ife timakonda kusonyeza izo mwanjira zosamvetseka, zachikondi.

2. Timakupatsirani malo

Munthu amene ali ndi ADHD amadziwa momwe zimakhalira kungofuna malo . Tikudziwa kuti nthawi zina dziko limakhala laphokoso kwambiri moti silingathe kulithetsa, ndipo palibe chomwe wina anganene kapena kuchita chomwe chingalepheretse. Timamvetsetsa. Chifukwa chake, tidzamvetsetsa ngati simukufuna kulankhula kapena kutumizirana mameseji. Timamvetsetsa kuti nthawi zina tiyenera kukusiyani mumdima chete. Ndipo ngakhale simungafune kuti tizikhala pafupi, mudzafunabe zokhwasula-khwasula.

3. Ndife achifundo

Ndikulankhula kuchokera pazochitika zanga pamene ndikunena kuti anthu omwe ali ndi ADHD amakonda kukhala achifundo. Sitingakhale omvera kwambiri, koma timayesetsa kugwiritsitsa mawu aliwonse omwe anthu omwe timawakonda akunena. Timayesa kumvetsetsa ndikuwona dziko kuchokera ku nsapato zanu. Ndikukhulupirira kuti izi ndi chifukwa cha momwe timakhalira "okhudzidwa kwambiri" nthawi zambiri. Dziko lotizungulira nthawi zambiri limakhala laphokoso kwambiri, lodzaza kwambiri, lovuta kwambiri moti sitingathe kuligwira tsiku ndi tsiku.

Kotero, pamene munthu amene timamukonda akuoneka kuti akuvutika, nthawi zambiri timayesetsa kumvetsetsa. Zizolowezi zathu zoganizira mopitirira muyeso zimathandizanso apa. Titha kuganiza bwino za vutoli komanso kumva momwe munthu akumvera - zomwe zimatithandiza kumvetsetsa bwino ndikuthandizira okondedwa athu. Chifukwa chake, simungakumane ndi vuto la kusowa chifundo mukakhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu yemwe ali ndi ADHD.

4. Ndife olenga

Kukhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu yemwe ali ndi ADHD kungakhale kovuta. Koma sichidzakhalanso chotopetsa. Nthawi zonse timaphunzira zinthu zatsopano ndikusonkhanitsa zinthu zodabwitsa. Luso lathu loganiza mopambanitsa komanso kuganiza mopambanitsa kumatilola kuti tipeze njira zothetsera mavuto.

Kotero, ngati mukufuna mnzanu wochita zaupandu, pitani naye pachibwenzi ndi munthu yemwe ali ndi ADHD. Adzakonza zochita zachikondi zodabwitsa kwambiri , kukakamiza bwana wanu kuti akupatseni ndalama zowonjezera ndalama ndi tchuthi, kenako n’kukuthandizani kupha adani anu, kubisa matupi awo, ndi kuchotsa moyo wawo wonse pamene akuchita zimenezo.

5. Timasunga chidwi

Ngati muli pachibwenzi ndi munthu yemwe ali ndi ADHD, konzekerani kumenyedwa ndi ziwonetsero zachikondi kwambiri, zachikondi, komanso zachikondi kwambiri. Mantha athu aakulu ndi kutopa. Ndipo tikapeza chinthu chosangalatsa, timayika moyo wathu wonse mozungulira.

Izi - zikagwiritsidwa ntchito bwino - zitha kukhala maziko a ubale wosangalatsa komanso wosangalatsa kwambiri. ADHD ndi maubwenzi nthawi zina zimakhala zokhudzana ndi kugonana m'zimbudzi za anthu onse, kudziyesa ngati alendo omwe akuyesera kukopana wina ndi mnzake , maphwando ovina mwadzidzidzi m'chipinda chochezera atavala zovala zogona, kuthamanga ndikuseka mvula yapakati pausiku, komanso kutsatira njira zoiwalika za m'nkhalango m'mapiri pamodzi.

Ibibazo

1. Kodi kukhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu wa ADHD ndikovuta?

Kukhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu yemwe ali ndi ADHD kuli ndi zovuta zake komanso zovuta zake. Koma, malinga ngati onse awiri ali okonzeka kumverana chisoni ndi kulimbikitsana wina ndi mzake, kukhala ndi chibwenzi ndi munthu yemwe ali ndi ADHD n'kosavuta komanso kovuta monga kukhala ndi munthu wamaganizo.

2. Kodi ndikwatiwe ndi munthu amene ali ndi ADHD?

Inde, mungathe. ADHD ndi maubwenzi, ngakhale odzipereka, okhalitsa, amatha kuyenda limodzi. Koma konzekerani choyamba zinthu zofunika kwambiri. Anthu omwe ali ndi ADHD amachita ndi dziko mosiyana ndi ma neurotypicals. Amakonda kuiwala. Amaphonya nthawi yokumana. Amawoneka kuti amachedwa nthawi zonse kumalo. Dzifunseni ngati ndinu wokonzeka kulimbana ndi nkhani zimenezi m’kupita kwa nthaŵi. Ngati mutero, ndiye kuti mudzakhala ndi moyo wolemeretsa, wokhutiritsa, komanso wodabwitsa kwambiri ndi mnzanuyo. Ngati simutero, ndi bwino kuti mutuluke musanawononge iwo ndi inu nokha.

3. Kodi mwamuna yemwe ali ndi ADHD angakonde?

ADHD imadziwika ndi chilakolako choyaka moto. Chotero, inde, munthu amene ali ndi ADHD angagwe m’chikondi. Amakondana tsiku lililonse - ndi nyimbo zatsopano, mphaka wapafupi, kuphika, kulemba, munthu wachikulire wokhala ndi mano okhotakhota omwe amakhala pansi panjira. Simungathe kuletsa munthu yemwe ali ndi ADHD kuti ayambe kukondana ndi chilakolako choyaka.

Maganizo Final

Khama ndi chifundo ndi makiyi a ubale uliwonse, koma makamaka mukakhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu yemwe ali ndi ADHD. “Kukhala paubwenzi ndi munthu yemwe ali ndi ADHD sikumangotanthauza kulembetsa ku moyo wamavuto. ADHD imapangitsanso munthu kukhala wochenjera. Imamupangitsa kukhala wopanga zinthu ndi wanzeru. Anthu omwe ali ndi ADHD amakonda kukhala okondana kwambiri. Komanso, pali mbali zingapo za umunthu wa aliyense ndipo ADHD siidzakhala mbali yokhayo yodziŵika bwino ya mnzanuyo,” akutero Dr. Bhonsle.

Kuchita chibwenzi ndi munthu amene ali ndi ADHD n'kovuta. Koma ndi ubale uti padziko lapansi womwe nthawi zina sumakhala wovuta kuuthetsa? Kodi zimenezo zikutanthauza kuti timasiya? Inde ayi. M'malo mwake timagwira ntchito molimbika - osati pa ubale wokha komanso pa ife tokha. Ndipo kwa wina ndi mnzake. Ngati simukudziwa, kufunafuna thandizo la akatswiri nthawi zonse ndi lingaliro labwino. Gulu la akatswiri a Bonobology lingakutsogolereni momwe mungapangire ubale wabwino ngati inu kapena mnzanuyo muli ndi vuto la maganizo.

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.