Zinthu 21 Zoyenera Kudziwa Zokhudza Kukhala Ndi Mamuna Ndi Ana

Ukuganiza zokhala ndi mwamuna wokhala ndi ana koma osatsimikiza ngati kuli koyenera kwa iwe? Kapena muli pachibwenzi kale ndikudabwa momwe mungayendetsere ubale wanu popanda kupyola malire anu? Zodetsa nkhawa zanu sizopanda pake. Kukhala pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna ndi ana kungakhale lachinyengo ndipo ndithudi chosiyana ndi mwachizolowezi chibwenzi zinachitikira m'njira zambiri. Komabe, si zachilendo. Malinga ndi a kafukufuku, 92% ya akazi osakwatiwa ali omasuka kucheza ndi abambo osakwatiwa, ndi 55% kukhala "otseguka kwambiri" ku lingaliro.

Ngati mugwiritsa ntchito zosinthika moyenera, zitha kuphuka kukhala ubale wokwaniritsa komanso wopindulitsa. Funso ndilakuti, kodi "kusamalira mphamvu moyenera" kumaphatikizapo chiyani? Tabwera kuti tikuthandizeni kumvetsetsa malamulo oti mukhale pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna yemwe ali ndi mwana pokambirana ndi ophunzitsidwa bwino komanso oganiza bwino. Pooja Priyamvada (yotsimikiziridwa mu Psychological and Mental Health First Aid yochokera kwa Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health ndi University of Sydney), yemwe amagwira ntchito yopereka uphungu wa zibwenzi kunja kwa banja, kulekana, kupatukana, chisoni, ndi kutayika, kungotchulapo zochepa chabe.

Kodi Kukhala pachibwenzi ndi Mwana Wamng'ono Ndikoyenera? Ubwino Ndi Zoipa Zoti Muganizire

Mukakopeka ndi mwamuna wosakwatiwa yemwe ali ndi ana, pamene mtima wanu ukudumphadumpha, malingaliro anu amatha kuyang'ana kwambiri mbendera zofiira pamene ali pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna yemwe ali ndi mwana. Ndipo chingwe chilichonse chomveka mu umunthu wanu chidzayesa kukutsimikizirani kuti kupita mumsewu uwu kungakhale lingaliro loipa. Kupatula apo, kaya muli pachibwenzi ndi bambo yemwe akulera yekha ana kapena kuti ali pachibwenzi ndi bambo amene akulera naye limodzi, udindo wake wakulera umasokoneza zinthu. 

Chifukwa chake, anu kusatetezeka kwa ubale sizopanda maziko koma zolepheretsazo zisakulepheretseni kutsatira mtima wanu. Ndani akudziwa, nkhani yachikondi ya moyo wonse ingakhale ikudikirira kuti ichitike. Zomwe mukufunikira ndikulingalira momwe mungavomerezere gawo ili la moyo wake popanda kumukwiyira kapena kuika zosowa zanu pamoto wakumbuyo. Kuti muthe kutero, choyamba muyenera kusankha mwanzeru ngati chibwenzi ndi mwamuna kapena mwana ndi choyenera kwa inu. Njira yabwino yochitira izi kuposa kudalira zabwino ndi zoyipa zakale zakale:

Zinthu 21 Zoyenera Kudziwa Zokhudza Kukhala Ndi Mamuna Ndi Ana

Mwina, pali kholo lina limene mwalidziwa kale (mnzanu/wantchito mnzanu), ndipo mwakhala mukukopeka naye posachedwapa. Kapena, mwalumikizana ndi wina pachibwenzi-zikomo pa intaneti, malo ochezera a pa Intaneti, kapena malangizo a mnzawo—ndipo amatsogolera pokuuzani kuti ali ndi ana. Mumamukonda mpaka kufuna kudumphadumpha koma osadziwa momwe angachitire. Mumadzifunsa kuti, "Kodi ndiyenera kukhala pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna yemwe ali ndi mwana?" Ngati ndi choncho, bwanji? Sungani zinthu izi 21 zokhudzana ndi chibwenzi ndi bambo osakwatiwa, ndipo mudzadutsamo.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: 12 Malangizo Kukhala Bwino Amayi Osakwatiwa

1. Ana ake amadza patsogolo NTHAWI ZONSE

Kotero, mwamuna uyu wakhala akukuuzani kuti ali ndi mwana / ana ndipo mumasankha kukhala naye pachibwenzi. Dziwani kuti imodzi mwamalamulo oyambira pachibwenzi ndi munthu wokhala ndi mwana ndikukhazikitsa ndi samalani zomwe mukuyembekezera. Pooja limati: “Ngati mukuganiza kuti mungayembekezere chiyani mukakhala pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna amene ali ndi mwana wamng’ono, dziwani kuti makolo amene akulera okha ana ali ndi udindo waukulu kwambiri komanso amakondana kwambiri. Ziribe kanthu komwe nonse muli kapena zomwe mukuchita, ngati ana ake akumufuna, iye amasiya chirichonse pa dontho la chipewa ndi kuthamangira kukakhala nawo.

Zoyenera kuchita

Muyenera kuvomereza kuti kwa iye, ana ake adzabwera poyamba, NTHAWI ZONSE. Kuti chisakhale choyambitsa mikangano pakati pa inu nonse. 

• Osasankha ndewu ngati akufuna kusiya chibwenzi kapena kuchoka chapakati chifukwa ana ake amamufuna 
• Khalani wochirikiza ndi kumvetsetsa udindo wake ndi zolephera zake 
• Osapikisana ndi ana ake chifukwa cha nthawi yake komanso chidwi chake. M’malo mwake, yesetsani kukulitsa unansi wanu pa udindo wake wolera ana  

2. Kukhala pachibwenzi sikungakhale chinthu chofunika kwambiri kwa iye

Leah, yemwe ndi namwino, anali pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna wina yemwe anali ndi ana ndipo ankadziona kuti alibe naye banja. Mnzakeyo anali dokotala wamkulu pachipatala chomwecho. Pakati pa zovuta za ntchito yake ndi maudindo apanyumba, analibe nthawi yoti apereke kwa Leya. Izi zinamuvutitsa maganizo mpaka kalekale koma pang’ono ndi pang’ono anayamba kuvomereza kuti ngakhale kuti iye sakanatha kuika zibwenzi patsogolo, sizinali kusonyeza mmene ankamvera mumtima mwake. 

Zoyenera kuchita

Mukakumana ndi mnyamata yemwe ali ndi ana, muyenera kukumbukira kuti sizingakhale zothandiza kwa iye kuika chilichonse pambali kuti apite nanu kapena kuthera nthawi yake yonse ndi inu. Koma mukhoza kubwezera pochitapo kanthu kupanga masiku kapena bwerani ndi mapulani okhazikika kuti mukhale ndi nthawi yabwino yochitira limodzi momwe mungathere. Panthaŵi imodzimodziyo, onetsetsani kuti mukulemberana mameseji ndi kulankhula pa foni nthaŵi zambiri pamene simungakhoze kukhala pamodzi mwakuthupi.

3. Simungafike ku bwalo lamkati mosavuta

Kaya ndinu kukumana ndi mwamuna wamkulu Ndi ana akuluakulu kapena kukhala pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna wazaka za m’ma 20, sizingakhale zophweka kuti mudziwe ndi kulandiridwa m’gulu lake lamkati, lomwe ndi iye ndi ana ake. Adzakhala osamala akamakudziwitsani kwa mwana/ana ake komanso kukulowetsani m'miyoyo yawo. Mwinamwake, kumlingo wina, nthawizonse mudzakhala wakunja.

Pooja akuti, "Muyenera kumvetsetsa mkhalidwewo monga momwe ana amaonera. Kuvomereza kuti wolera yekhayo/woyambirira m'moyo wawo wapeza munthu wina kungakhale koopseza kwa iwo. Iwo angawope kuti, bwenzi latsopanolo, mungayese kuloŵa m’malo mwa kholo lina.

Linda, amene ali pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna wosudzulidwa, akutiuza chokumana nacho chake, kuti: “Mnyamata wanga ali ndi mwana kuchokera pachibwenzi chakale. Kukumana ndi mwana wake kwanthaŵi yoyamba sikunali kophweka kwa ine.

Zoyenera kuchita

Mosakayikira ndizovuta kudikirira mnzanu kuti akuphatikizeni m'moyo wake. Komabe, mukaona mmene zinthu zilili mmene iye amazionera, mudzazindikira kuti sanalakwe n’cholinga choti adziwitseni kwa ana ake komanso kuti mukhale mbali ya moyo wake. Ngati mwangoyamba kumene chibwenzi, akhoza kudikirira kuti aone momwe zinthu zidzakhalire pakati panu musanadumphe, ndipo ndizomveka. 

• Musakakamize mwamuna amene muli naye pachibwenzi kuti akuuzeni kwa ana ake 
• Ngati kukayikira kwake kukudziwitsani kwa banja lake kumakupangitsani kukhala osatetezeka, lankhulani naye za izo. Muuzeni zakukhosi kwanu ndikuyesera kumvetsetsa malingaliro ake 
• Osapereka ultimatums 

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Mungatenge Bwanji Pang'onopang'ono Mu Ubale? 11 Malangizo Othandiza

4. Kuleza mtima kumathandiza mukakhala pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokhala ndi ana

kuchokera masiku oletsedwa kuyimba foni ndi mauthenga osabwezedwa, padzakhala nthawi zambiri zokhumudwitsa. Poganizira kuchuluka kwa zomwe ali nazo pa mbale yake, bwanji ndi kuyang'anira ntchito yanthawi zonse ndi udindo wakulera, zingakhale zovuta kwa iye kupeza nthawi yocheza nanu, makamaka mwachisawawa. 

Zoyenera kuchita 

Kuleza mtima ndiye mphamvu yanu yayikulu pakuyendetsa zovuta za chibwenzi ndi mwamuna yemwe ali ndi udindo wakulera. Kuti musalole kukhumudwitsidwa kwa ziyembekezo zosakhalitsa ndi zokhumudwitsa zikuwonongeni zomwe muli nazo, muyenera

• Tengani kamphindi kuti mudziyike mu nsapato zake musanachitepo kanthu kapena kuwomba pamwamba
• Kumbukirani kuti ngati ali patsamba lomwelo ndi inu kapena mukumva kuti muli ndi mgwirizano wamphamvu ndi kuthekera kwenikweni, kuleza mtima konse kudzakhala koyenera pamapeto pake.
• Khalani otanganidwa ndi zokhumba / zokonda kuti musawononge nthawi yanu yonse kumuyembekezera

5. Simudzadandaula ndi masewera amalingaliro

Ngati mukuyamba kumverera ngati ubalewu ndi nkhani zoipa chabe, ganiziraninso. Pali zabwino zambiri zokhala ndi chibwenzi ndi mnyamata. Chimodzi mwa izo ndikuti simudzadandaula za iye kusewera masewera amalingaliro kuti angowongolera nkhani ya ubale. Sadzatero:

• Kungosowa kuti mumuphonye
• Kukunyengererani ndi kutentha ndi kuzizira, kukankha-ndi-koka mphamvu
• Zikupangitsani kukhala wansanje kapena osatetezeka

Zoyenera kuchita

Pamene mwamuna amene muli naye pachibwenzi akuyesera kukhala wake weniweni ndikuchita zonse zomwe angathe kuti agwirizane nanu, muyenera kukumana naye theka ndikupewa kusewera masewera amalingaliro. Mwachitsanzo, ngati sanathe kukutumizirani mameseji kapena kukumana nanu kwa masiku angapo chifukwa chakuti mwana wake anali kudwala, musamulankhule kapena kumuchitira chipongwe kuti mungomulawitsa mankhwala ake. M’malo mwake, khalani owona mtima m’zochita zanu ndi iwo. Sibwino kugawana nawo zomwe mwakhumudwitsidwa chifukwa cha zolinga zomwe zathetsedwa kapena kumuuza kuti mwamusowa, komanso ndikofunikira kupereka chithandizo ndikugwiritsa ntchito bwino nthawi yomwe mumakhala limodzi. 

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Single Vs. Chibwenzi - Momwe Moyo Umasinthira

6. Adzakhala tcheru ndi zosowa zanu

Mwamuna yemwe ali kholo lamanja adzakhala okhudzidwa modabwitsa ndi zosowa zanu ndipo adzakuchitirani mokoma mtima nthawi zonse. Kulera mwana / ana ake ndi kuwakonda zaka zonsezi kudzakhala kopukutidwa mbali yake yovuta.

Izi zokha zimapangitsa kukhala ndi iye kukhala koyenera kuyesetsa konse komwe mukuchita kuti ubale wanu ukhale wolimba. Ngati inunso ndinu kholo lolera lokha ana, ili ndi limodzi mwa mapindu osaneneka a kukhala ndi bambo amene akulera okha ana. Popeza ali mumkhalidwe wovuta wa kulera ana, sangangomvetsetsa zokakamizika zanu ndi kudzipereka kwanu monga kholo komanso zosowa za ana anu.

Zoyenera kuchita 

Gwirani m'malingaliro ake kuti mulimbikitse ubale wanu ndi iye ndikuyala maziko a ubale wolimba, wokhalitsa

7. Chinthu china cha amayi

Ngati muli pachibwenzi ndi munthu wina yemwe ali ndi ana, sizikutanthauza kuti payenera kukhala mayi pachithunzichi. Ngati asudzulana ndipo muli pachibwenzi ndi bambo amene amamulera, iyeyo ndi mnzake wakale amakambirana ndikukhala limodzi nthawi ndi nthawi. Ngakhale mutakhala pachibwenzi ndi bambo osakwatiwa omwe ali ndi udindo wosamalira mwana, simunganene kuti mwina ali ndi ubale wina ndi mwana wake wakale wakale. Kumbali ina, ngati wamwalira, mungamve kukhalapo kwake m'moyo wanu ngakhale kuti palibe.

Zoyenera kuchita 

Kaya zinthu zili bwanji, kumverera ngati mkazi winayo kapena kuchita ndi munthu kungakupangitseni kukhala wagawo, wosatetezeka, ndi wansanje. Pangani malingaliro awa m'njira yoyenera kuti musawalole kusokoneza ubale wanu kapena kusokoneza thanzi lanu.

• Lankhulani ndi wokondedwa wanu za amayi a ana ake mudakalipo ndipo mumvetse mtundu wa equation yomwe amagawana 
• Onani ngati ndi chinthu chomwe mungakhazikitse nacho mtendere musanatengeke kwambiri 
• Funsani mnzanuyo kuti akhale womasuka komanso wowona mtima pazochita zake ndi wakale wake, kuti pasakhale mpata wokayikitsa komanso kusamvetsetsana.
• Ngati mumadziona kuti ndinu wosatetezeka komanso wansanje, yesetsani kuthetsa maganizo amenewo. Ngakhale mutha kugawana zakukhosi kwanu ndi mnzanu, kumbukirani udindo wowathetsa uli pa inu, osati iye

8. Adzakupatsani kukhazikika;

N'zosavuta kuti apachikidwe pa mgwirizano wofiira mbendera pocheza ndi munthu wokhala ndi mwana, koma ngati mutayang'anitsitsa, zimakhalanso ndi zobiriwira. Ubale ndi mwamuna yemwe ali ndi ana sungakhale wongochitika mwachisawawa kapena wokonda kwambiri koma mutha kudalira kuti udzakhala wokhazikika chifukwa chazifukwa izi:

• Munthu uyu ndi wokhwima komanso wokhazikika m'moyo wake. Amadziwa zomwe akufuna
• Popeza wabwereranso pachibwenzi, ali wokonzeka kutembenuza tsamba latsopano
• Wakusankhani kuti mukhale bwenzi lake paulendowu, zikutanthauza kuti ndinu wapadera kwa iye

Zoyenera kuchita 

Musati mupite kukafunafuna mbendera zofiira za abambo osakwatiwa poyika mbali iliyonse yaubwenzi wanu pansi pa microscope. M’malo mwake, yang’anani pa mfundo yakuti wasankha kukhala nanu chifukwa chofuna kutero, ndi kuletsa phokoso lina lonselo. 

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Chibwenzi Pambuyo pa Chisudzulo - Zinthu 15 Zomwe Muyenera Kudziwa

9. Akhoza kuchita dzimbiri pachibwenzi

Ngati muli pachibwenzi ndi bambo wosudzulidwa, mwayi ndi wakuti iyi ikhoza kukhala rodeo yake yoyamba kuyambira pamene adavala bambo osakwatiwa chipewa. Angazengereze kufotokoza zakukhosi kwake kwa inu. Akhoza kulimbana ndi chinthu chophweka monga kunena kuti "Ndimakukonda". Pooja anati: “Kugonana ndi kukhala pachinsinsi kungayambukirenso pamene muli pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokhala ndi mwana.

Zoyenera kuchita 

Mutha kusintha moyo wanu wachikondi pomuwonetsa chikondi ndi chikondi mpaka pomwe kubwezerana kumabwera kwa iye. Yang'anani njira zopangira zopangira mwayi waubwenzi ndi chikondi. Nawa malingaliro ena: 

• Ngati muli pachibwenzi ndi bambo amene akulerani nawo limodzi, khalani limodzi nthawi yabwino masiku amene ana ali ndi amayi awo. Gwiritsani ntchito mwayi uwu kuti musamangokhalira kukondana komanso kuti mukhale ndi chilakolako chogonana 
• Ngati muli pachibwenzi ndi bambo osakwatiwa amene ali ndi udindo wolera ana, ganizirani zogulira munthu wodalirika wolera ana/wantchito waganyu amene chisamaliro chake chimakhala chomasuka kusiya ana ake kuti apeze malo ochezerana ndi mausiku ndi macheza achikondi (panyumba panu)  

10. Mwina sadachitepo kanthu ndi akazi kwa nthawi yayitali

Ngati mwamuna amene muli naye pachibwenzi wakhala akulera yekha yekha kwa nthawi yaitali, mwina sanagwirizane ndi mkazi kwa nthawi yaitali. Kunyumba kwake kutha kukhala malo a anyamata ndipo mwina sangadziwe zomwe mkazi amafuna komanso zomwe amayembekeza. Ngakhale zinthu zodziwikiratu monga mkazi kukhala ndi edgy pang'ono ndi moody pamene PMS-ing ingamugwire modzidzimutsa. 

Zoyenera kuchita

Chabwino, muyenera kusintha mawonekedwe ake, pang'onopang'ono komanso mokhazikika.

• Musamayembekezere kuti awerenge malingaliro anu
• Khalani omasuka pazosowa zanu ndi zomwe mukufuna 
• Lankhulani naye kuti mupereke ziyembekezo 
• Kambiranani, kambiranani, funsani wina ndi mzake mafunso, tsegulani, khalani osatetezeka

11. Mwamuna wanu amabwera ndi katundu wamaganizo

Banja/ubale womwe sunathe. Kutaya chikondi cha moyo wake. Kulumikizana mwachisawawa komwe kunapangitsa kuti mnzakeyo akhale ndi pakati. Kaya nkhaniyo ndi yotani, muyenera kukonzekera nokha katundu wamalingaliro. Osanenanso za kudzikuta kwa kusachita mokwanira. Chifukwa chake, yendani mozungulira mfundo zoyambitsa izi mosamala ndikukhala wachifundo mukakhala pachibwenzi ndi bambo osakwatiwa.

Carlos, wazaka 35, akuti: "Nditayamba chibwenzi ndi Matthew, ndidadziwa kuti akubisa chilonda kuyambira kale. Sanaulule za mkazi wake wakale. Sindimadziwa ngati anali ndi moyo kapena ayi. Ndinaleza mtima kwa nthawi yayitali koma chinsinsichi chidandidya mkati ndipo tsiku lina, ndidawombera. Zomwe adawulula sizinali zomwe ndimayembekezera.

Zoyenera kuchita

Chiwopsezo chamalingaliro sichingabwere mosavuta kwa mwamuna yemwe anachitapo ngozi ndi kuwotcha kale. Choncho, muyenera: 

• Khalani woleza mtima kwa iye, kumulola kuti atsegule pa liŵiro lake 
• Muloleni amve kuti ndinu malo ake otetezeka
• Osachita chidwi ngati sakumva bwino kuyankhula za nkhani inayake, makamaka za mnzake wakale/mnzake wakale/amayi ake kapena ana ake. 

12. Sangauze ana ake za inu nthawi yomweyo

Mukakhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu wina wokhala ndi ana, mungaone kuti alibe chidwi chouza ana ake za inuyo. Ndipo izi zingakhale zovutitsa chifukwa simunalakwe poyembekezera kukhala mbali ya moyo wake. Koma ngati muwona mmene zinthu zilili m’kaonedwe kake: sangafune kusokoneza moyo wa ana ake mpaka atatsimikiza kuti chinthu chimene mukupita n’cholimba. Ndipo izo nzolungamitsidwa kwathunthu. 

Pooja akuti, “Popeza mnzanga ndi ine tinali ndi ana athu maubale akale, tinamvetsa bwino nkhani imeneyi. Kuti kusinthaku kukhale kosavuta kwa iwo, tinalinganiza mosamalitsa maulendo omwe ana athu adapeza mwayi wocheza nawo ndi kudziwana popanda kukakamizidwa ndi makolo awo kukhala pachibwenzi. Ubwenzi wina utakhazikitsidwa, m’pamene tinawauza za ubale wathu.”

Zoyenera kuchita

Lamulo lofunika pa chibwenzi ndi mwamuna yemwe ali ndi mwana ndi kusamuthamangira kupanga chisankho cha nthawi yoti auze ana ake za ubale wanu. Tsatirani chitsogozo chake, perekani chithandizo, ndipo dikirani. 

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Chibwenzi Chimatanthauza Chiyani Kwa Mwamuna?

13. Ana ake sangakukondeni

Popeza kuti ali ana ndi maganizo awo osalakwa, mungaoneke ngati woloŵerera amene akutenga malo amene poyamba anali a kholo lawo lina, udindo wothyola madzi oundana m’njira yoyenera uli pa inu. Ndipo ndithudi, mnzanuyo. 

Zoyenera kuchita

“Njira imodzi yotsimikizira kuti musamayende molakwika ndi ana ake ndiyo kusawapangitsa kumva kuti akusalanidwa mwanjira ina iliyonse. ubale watsopano sayenera kupangitsa ana kudzimva kukhala osatetezeka kapena kuopsezedwa.” Pooja analangiza motero Pooja koyamba mukamacheza nawo, m’pofunika kuti: 

• Muzipeza nthawi yochita zinthu zimene amasangalala nazo 
• Konzani zochita zomwe ana angatenge nawo mbali
• Aphatikizeni pazokambirana 
• Yesetsani kumanga ubale ndi iwo, osadalira abambo awo

14. Angakhale ndi udindo wochuluka

N'zoonekeratu kuti nthawi yopuma ingakhale yosangalatsa kwa iye. Koma zimathandizira kuwunika kuchuluka kwa mwanaalirenji. Musanayambe kukhala otanganidwa kwambiri, khalani ndi nthawi yoganizira mafunso otsatirawa:

• Kodi angatengeko maola angapo kumapeto kwa sabata kapena pakati pa mlungu kuti akhale nanu?
• Kodi adzatha kukuimbirani foni kamodzi pa tsiku ndi kulankhula kwa nthawi yaitali?
• Kodi mungathe kulankhulana pogwiritsa ntchito malemba?
• Kodi ali womasuka kukhazikitsa malamulo ena amasiku, mafoni, ndi kutumizirana mameseji mukakhala pachibwenzi?

Ngati sichoncho, ndiye kuti munthuyu akhoza kukhala wosapezeka kuti akhale naye paubwenzi. Ngakhale atakhala wofunika bwanji panthawiyi, zinthu sizingayende bwino m'tsogolomu.

Zoyenera kuchita

Musanayambe kudumphira ndi mapazi onse awiri, tulukani pamasiku ochepa, ndipo panthawiyi, muwone ngati ali ndi nthawi ndi malo a ubale weniweni m'moyo wake. Ngati sichoncho, gawani njira musanalowe mozama kwambiri. 

15. Angafune kuchedwetsa zinthu

Mukakonzeka nenani "ndimakukondani", angakhale womasuka kukuuzani kuti amakukondani ndiponso amakuderani nkhawa. Chinthu chokhudzana ndi chibwenzi ndi bambo wosakwatiwa ndi chakuti katundu wa ubale wake wakale ndi zenizeni zamasiku ano zingamupangitse kukhala wosamala kwambiri. Monga tanena kale, kuleza mtima ndi bwenzi lanu lapamtima ngati mukufunadi kuti izi zigwire ntchito. 

Zoyenera kuchita

Musanayambe kudumphira, muyenera kuyang'ana pa:

• Kodi ndiyenera kukhala pachibwenzi ndi bambo wachikulire yemwe ali ndi mwana ngati ndikufulumira kudzipereka kwa wina, kapena kukwatira?
• Chifukwa chiyani ndikuufuna ubalewu?
• Kodi ndimacheza naye pazifukwa zoyenera?

Ngati, mutamuyang’ana, mwatsimikiza kuti iye ndi woyenerera kwa inu, khalani okonzeka kuchitira zinthu patsogolo pa liŵiro limene nonse muli nalo. Yang'anani ndi wina ndi mzake ndi kuwona komwe nonse muli, mokhudzidwa. Kulankhulana momasuka ndi moona mtima ndiyo njira yokhayo yopitira kupyola zopinga zing’onozing’onozi zimene mungakumane nazo mukakhala pachibwenzi ndi bambo wosakwatiwa. 

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16. Kusamukira pamodzi kungayambitse mavuto

Chinachake chophweka ngati kusuntha limodzi zitha kukhala zovuta ngati mnzanu ali ndi ana. Iwo ayenera kukhala pa bolodi ndi plan. Mukadzalowa m'nyumba, muyenera kusintha chizolowezi chanu ndi moyo wanu kuti mugwirizane ndi zosowa za ana ake. Muyenera kuganizira momwe angakhudzire chigamulochi pazachuma, monga momwe alili ndi udindo wake wazachuma pazowonongeka zomwe munagawana, mtengo watchuthi wokhudza ana, thumba la koleji, ndi ndalama zina.

Zoyenera kuchita

Osapanga chisankho chosamukira limodzi mopepuka kapena mopupuluma. Ganizirani mmene ana ake angakhudzire moyo wanu—pamene akupatsani mpata m’moyo wawo ndiponso ngati sizikuyenda monga momwe munkayembekezera. Tengani izi pokhapokha mutatsimikiza 100% kuti muli momwemo kwa nthawi yayitali, ngakhale mukukumana ndi zovuta. 

17. Muyenera kumanga ubale ndi ana ake

“Kukumana ndi ana ake kwa nthaŵi yoyamba kungakhale kovuta.” Ngati mutenga udindo wa kholo mutangoyamba kumene, zingakupatseni uthenga woti mukuyesera kufafaniza malo a kholo lina m’moyo wawo, zimene zingawabweretsere mavuto.

Zoyenera kuchita

Inde, mungapeze anyamata okhala ndi makanda okongola. Koma kukumana ndi single dad ndi chokumana nacho chosiyana kotheratu. Muyenera kusamalira gawo lonse lodziwa ana-ake mosamala. Nayi nkhani zina zotetezeka zokambitsirana kuti muchepetse ayezi ndikupangitsa ana kuti azisangalala nanu:

• Kodi makatuni/nyimbo zomwe mumakonda ndi zotani (malinga ndi zaka za mwana?
• Kodi chakudya choipitsitsa ndi chiyani padziko lapansi?
• Sinthani tsiku lanu pamlingo wa 1-10; 1 kukhala yoyipa ndipo 10 kukhala tsiku labwino kwambiri 
• Kodi chatsopano kusukulu masiku ano ndi chiyani?

Mukakhazikitsa ubale ndi iwo, kuvomereza kumatsatira. Malingana ngati muli okoma mtima ndi achifundo, pali mwayi waukulu wakuti ana ake sangangosangalala nanu komanso mungapitirize kukhala nawo paubwenzi wabwino. 

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18. Muyenera kuzolowera miyambo ndi machitidwe awo

Tinene kuti, mwamuna yemwe muli naye pachibwenzi amakhala Lamlungu m'mawa akusewera mpira ndi mwana wake. Kapena onse amathera Loweruka ndi Lamlungu akuyenda paulendo. Mukakhala mbali ya moyo wawo, mudzayembekezeredwa kukhala mbali ya machitidwe oterowo. Ngati ana akuona kuti atate wawo akusiya nthaŵi ya banja chifukwa cha inu, angayambe kukuipirani chifukwa cha zimenezo. Izo zikhoza kutsegula chitini cha mphutsi ndi kubweretsa zambiri zosasangalatsa. 

Zoyenera kuchita

Mungathe kupewa kuti zinthu zisasokonezeke pongophatikiza ana ake muzochita ngati banja. Muyenera kupeza malo ochezera abanja, picnics, ndi makanema, kuwonjezera pa tsiku lanu lausiku ndi nthawi yabwino ngati banja.

19. PDA sangalandiridwe

Tinene kuti mukudya chakudya chamadzulo ndi chibwenzi chanu ndi ana ake. Ndipo amalankhula kapena kuchita zomwe zimapangitsa kuti mtima wako udumphe. Chizoloŵezi chanu choyamba chingakhale kumpsompsona ndi kumuuza kuti mumamukonda kapena kumupeza kukhala wokongola. Koma muyenera kuganizira momwe izi zidzatsikira ndi ana ake. Angamve kukhala osamasuka ndi manja oterowo. Izi zikutanthauza kuti muyenera kuphunzira kuwongolera zomwe mwachita mwachibadwa mozungulira iwo.

Zoyenera kuchita

Ndi bwino kuchepetsa mawonetseredwe a chikondi ku malo anu achinsinsi mukadali kudziwana ndi ana a mnzanuyo. Mukakhala omasuka pamaso pa wina ndi mnzake, mutha kuyesa madzi pogwira dzanja la mnzanu kapena kumukumbatira pamaso pa ana ndikuwona momwe akuyankhira. 

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20. Sangafune ukwati kapena ana

Mwamuna amene ali kale tate sangakhale womasuka ku lingaliro la kukwatira ndi kukhala ndi ana ena. Nanga bwanji ngati zimenezo n’zimene mumazifunadi? Mwachibadwa, izi zidzathetsa ubale wanu nthawi ina. 

Zoyenera kuchita

Muyenera kukambirana za momwe amaonera moyo wake kukhala. Inde, zingawonekeretu kubweretsa mitu imeneyi pamene ubale udakali watsopano ndipo palibe malonjezano omwe apangidwa. Koma zidzakupangitsani kukhala bwino kuti muchotse mpweya poyamba pofunsa zoyenera mafunso okhudza ukwati ndi ana kuonetsetsa kuti nonse muli pa tsamba limodzi. 

21. Anzanu ndi achibale anu sangavomereze

Zitha kukhala zaka za m'ma 21 ndi zonsezi, komabe pali kusalidwa komwe kumakhala pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokhala ndi ana, makamaka ngati simuli pabanja. Yembekezerani kuti anzanu ndi achibale angadzachite zinthu zosasangalatsa. Iwo sangavomereze ubale wanu kapena anganene kuti mupeze munthu yemwe ali pamalo omwewo m'moyo wanu. Ngati muli kale kukangana ngati chibwenzi a bambo wokondana naye kapena atate wosakwatiwa ali lingaliro labwino kapena ayi, machitidwe oterowo angawonjezere chisokonezo chanu. 

Zoyenera kuchita

Mvetserani kumtima wanu ndikutsatira matumbo anu. Ngati mukukhulupirira kuti inu ndi mwamuna wanu muli limodzi, musalole maganizo a anthu ena kukulepheretsani. Komanso, kumbukirani kuti zosankha zanu zingasokoneze ubwenzi wanu ndi anthu amene mumayandikana nawo kwambiri, ngakhale kwa nthawi yochepa. Muyenera kukhala okonzeka kuthana nazo. 

Maganizo Final

Pomaliza, ngati muli pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna yemwe ali ndi ana ndipo mukuvutikira kuti izi zitheke, dziwani kuti nkwachibadwa. Malingana ndi zovuta za maubwenzi, izi zimakhala zapamwamba kwambiri mu dongosolo. Koma, ngati mukumva m'matumbo anu kuti ichi ndi chisankho choyenera, musalole kuyesayesa kofunikira kuti izi zitheke kapena tsankho la anthu likulepheretseni.

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