Zinthu 21 Zoyenera Kudziwa Zokhudza Kukhala Ndi Mamuna Ndi Ana

Mukuganiza zoyamba chibwenzi ndi mwamuna amene ali ndi ana koma simukudziwa ngati chili choyenera kwa inu? Kapena muli kale pachibwenzi ndi munthu ameneyo ndipo mukuganiza momwe mungayendere chibwenzicho popanda kupitirira malire anu? Nkhawa zanu sizolakwika. Chibwenzi ndi mwamuna amene ali ndi ana chingakhale chovuta komanso chosiyana ndi zomwe mumakumana nazo nthawi zonse pachibwenzi m'njira zambiri. Komabe, sizachilendo. Malinga ndi kafukufuku , 92% ya akazi osakwatiwa ali omasuka kuyamba chibwenzi ndi abambo osakwatiwa, ndipo 55% ndi "otseguka kwambiri" ku lingaliroli.

Ngati muchita bwino zinthuzi, zimatha kukula kukhala ubale wokhutiritsa komanso wopindulitsa. Funso ndilakuti, kodi "kuchita bwino zinthuzi" kumatanthauza chiyani? Tili pano kuti tikuthandizeni kumvetsetsa malamulo oti muyambe chibwenzi ndi mwamuna ndi mwana pokambirana ndi mphunzitsi wa thanzi la maganizo ndi kusamala Pooja Priyamvada (wovomerezedwa mu Psychological and Mental Health First Aid kuchokera ku Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health ndi University of Sydney), yemwe ndi katswiri pa uphungu wa zibwenzi zakunja kwa ukwati, kusudzulana, kupatukana, chisoni, ndi kutayika, kungotchulapo zochepa chabe.

Kodi Kukhala pachibwenzi ndi Mwana Wamng'ono Ndikoyenera? Ubwino Ndi Zoipa Zoti Muganizire

Mukakopeka ndi mwamuna wosakwatiwa yemwe ali ndi ana, pamene mtima wanu ukudumphadumpha, malingaliro anu amatha kuyang'ana kwambiri mbendera zofiira pamene ali pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna yemwe ali ndi mwana. Ndipo chingwe chilichonse chomveka mu umunthu wanu chidzayesa kukutsimikizirani kuti kupita mumsewu uwu kungakhale lingaliro loipa. Kupatula apo, kaya muli pachibwenzi ndi bambo yemwe akulera yekha ana kapena kuti ali pachibwenzi ndi bambo amene akulera naye limodzi, udindo wake wakulera umasokoneza zinthu. 

Kotero, kusakhazikika kwa ubale wanu sikofunikira koma zoletsa zimenezo siziyenera kukulepheretsani kutsatira mtima wanu. Ndani akudziwa, nkhani yachikondi ya moyo wonse ikhoza kudikira kuti ichitike. Chomwe mukufunikira ndikupeza momwe mungavomereze gawo ili la moyo wake popanda kumukwiyira kapena kuyika zosowa zanu kumbuyo. Kuti muchite zimenezo, choyamba muyenera kusankha bwino ngati chibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokhala ndi mwana/ana ndicho chisankho choyenera kwa inu. Kodi njira yabwino yochitira zimenezo ndi iti kuposa kudalira mndandanda wabwino wakale wa zabwino ndi zoyipa:

Zinthu 21 Zoyenera Kudziwa Zokhudza Kukhala Ndi Mamuna Ndi Ana

Mwina pali kholo limodzi lomwe mwakhala mukulidziwa kwa nthawi yayitali (bwenzi/mnzanu wa kuntchito), ndipo mwakhala mukulikonda kwambiri posachedwapa. Kapena, mwalumikizana ndi munthu wina pa chibwenzi—chifukwa cha chibwenzi pa intaneti , malo ochezera a pa Intaneti, kapena malangizo a mnzanu—ndipo amakutsogolerani pokuuzani kuti ali ndi ana. Mumamukonda kwambiri moti mungafune kuyamba chibwenzi koma simukudziwa momwe mungachitire. Mukudzifunsa kuti, “Kodi ndiyenera kukhala pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokhala ndi mwana?” Ngati ndi choncho, bwanji? Kumbukirani zinthu 21 izi zokhudza chibwenzi ndi bambo wosakwatiwa, ndipo mudzapambana.

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1. Ana ake amadza patsogolo NTHAWI ZONSE

Kotero, mwamuna uyu wakhala akukuuzani momveka bwino kuti ali ndi mwana/ana ndipo mumasankha kumukonda. Dziwani kuti limodzi mwa malamulo oyamba oti muyambe chibwenzi ndi mwamuna amene ali ndi mwana ndi kukhazikitsa ndi kusamalira zomwe mukuyembekezera moyenera . Pooja akuti, “Ngati mukudabwa zomwe mungayembekezere mukayamba chibwenzi ndi mwamuna amene ali ndi mwana wamng’ono, dziwani kuti udindo ndi chikondi cha kholo limodzi ndi chachikulu kwambiri. Kulera ana nokha kumafuna nthawi yambiri, malo, ndi khama.” Kaya nonse muli kuti kapena mukuchita chiyani, ngati ana ake akumufuna, adzasiya chilichonse mwachangu ndipo adzathamangira kukhala nawo.

Zoyenera kuchita

Muyenera kuvomereza kuti kwa iye, ana ake adzabwera poyamba, NTHAWI ZONSE. Kuti chisakhale choyambitsa mikangano pakati pa inu nonse. 

• Osasankha ndewu ngati akufuna kusiya chibwenzi kapena kuchoka chapakati chifukwa ana ake amamufuna 
• Khalani wochirikiza ndi kumvetsetsa udindo wake ndi zolephera zake 
• Osapikisana ndi ana ake chifukwa cha nthawi yake komanso chidwi chake. M’malo mwake, yesetsani kukulitsa unansi wanu pa udindo wake wolera ana  

2. Kukhala pachibwenzi sikungakhale chinthu chofunika kwambiri kwa iye

Leah, yemwe ndi namwino, anali pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna wina yemwe anali ndi ana ndipo ankadziona kuti alibe naye banja. Mnzakeyo anali dokotala wamkulu pachipatala chomwecho. Pakati pa zovuta za ntchito yake ndi maudindo apanyumba, analibe nthawi yoti apereke kwa Leya. Izi zinamuvutitsa maganizo mpaka kalekale koma pang’ono ndi pang’ono anayamba kuvomereza kuti ngakhale kuti iye sakanatha kuika zibwenzi patsogolo, sizinali kusonyeza mmene ankamvera mumtima mwake. 

Zoyenera kuchita

Mukayamba chibwenzi ndi mnyamata amene ali ndi ana, muyenera kukumbukira kuti sizingakhale bwino kuti aike zonse pambali kuti apite nanu kukacheza kapena kukhala nanu nthawi yonse. Koma mutha kuchitapo kanthu mwa kukonzekera zokumana nazo kapena kupanga mapulani odzipangira okha kuti mukhale ndi nthawi yabwino kwambiri limodzi momwe mungathere. Nthawi yomweyo, onetsetsani kuti mumatumizirana mameseji pafoni nthawi zambiri pamene simungathe kukhala limodzi mwakuthupi.

3. Simungafike ku bwalo lamkati mosavuta

Kaya mukuchita chibwenzi ndi munthu wachikulire amene ali ndi ana akuluakulu kapena mwamuna amene ali ndi mwana wazaka za m'ma 20, sizingakhale zosavuta kuti mudziwike ndi kulandiridwa m'gulu lake lapamtima, kuphatikizapo iye ndi ana ake. Adzakhala osamala pokudziwitsani za mwana/ana ake ndikukukhudzani m'miyoyo yawo. Mwina, pamlingo winawake, nthawi zonse mudzakhala ngati munthu wachilendo.

Pooja akuti, "Muyenera kumvetsetsa mkhalidwewo monga momwe ana amaonera. Kuvomereza kuti wolera yekhayo/woyambirira m'moyo wawo wapeza munthu wina kungakhale koopseza kwa iwo. Iwo angawope kuti, bwenzi latsopanolo, mungayese kuloŵa m’malo mwa kholo lina.

Linda, amene ali pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna wosudzulidwa, akutiuza chokumana nacho chake, kuti: “Mnyamata wanga ali ndi mwana kuchokera pachibwenzi chakale. Kukumana ndi mwana wake kwanthaŵi yoyamba sikunali kophweka kwa ine.

Zoyenera kuchita

Mosakayikira ndizovuta kudikirira mnzanu kuti akuphatikizeni m'moyo wake. Komabe, mukaona mmene zinthu zilili mmene iye amazionera, mudzazindikira kuti sanalakwe n’cholinga choti adziwitseni kwa ana ake komanso kuti mukhale mbali ya moyo wake. Ngati mwangoyamba kumene chibwenzi, akhoza kudikirira kuti aone momwe zinthu zidzakhalire pakati panu musanadumphe, ndipo ndizomveka. 

• Musakakamize mwamuna amene muli naye pachibwenzi kuti akuuzeni kwa ana ake 
• Ngati kukayikira kwake kukudziwitsani kwa banja lake kumakupangitsani kukhala osatetezeka, lankhulani naye za izo. Muuzeni zakukhosi kwanu ndikuyesera kumvetsetsa malingaliro ake 
• Osapereka ultimatums 

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Mungatani Kuti Muchepetse Ubwenzi? Malangizo 11 Othandiza

4. Kuleza mtima kumathandiza mukakhala pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokhala ndi ana

Kuyambira masiku oletsedwa mpaka mafoni ndi mauthenga osabwezedwa, padzakhala nthawi zambiri zokhumudwitsa. Popeza ali ndi zambiri zomwe akufuna, bwanji za kusamalira ntchito yake yonse ndi udindo wake monga kholo, zingakhale zovuta kuti apeze nthawi yocheza nanu, makamaka mwadzidzidzi.

Zoyenera kuchita 

Kuleza mtima ndiye mphamvu yanu yayikulu pakuyendetsa zovuta za chibwenzi ndi mwamuna yemwe ali ndi udindo wakulera. Kuti musalole kukhumudwitsidwa kwa ziyembekezo zosakhalitsa ndi zokhumudwitsa zikuwonongeni zomwe muli nazo, muyenera

• Tengani kamphindi kuti mudziyike mu nsapato zake musanachitepo kanthu kapena kuwomba pamwamba
• Kumbukirani kuti ngati ali patsamba lomwelo ndi inu kapena mukumva kuti muli ndi mgwirizano wamphamvu ndi kuthekera kwenikweni, kuleza mtima konse kudzakhala koyenera pamapeto pake.
• Khalani otanganidwa ndi zokhumba / zokonda kuti musawononge nthawi yanu yonse kumuyembekezera

5. Simudzadandaula ndi masewera amalingaliro

Ngati mukuyamba kumverera ngati ubalewu ndi nkhani zoipa chabe, ganiziraninso. Pali zabwino zambiri zokhala ndi chibwenzi ndi mnyamata. Chimodzi mwa izo ndikuti simudzadandaula za iye kusewera masewera amalingaliro kuti angowongolera nkhani ya ubale. Sadzatero:

• Kungosowa kuti mumuphonye
• Kukunyengererani ndi kutentha ndi kuzizira, kukankha-ndi-koka mphamvu
• Zikupangitsani kukhala wansanje kapena osatetezeka

Zoyenera kuchita

Pamene mwamuna amene muli naye pachibwenzi akuyesera kukhala wake weniweni ndikuchita zonse zomwe angathe kuti agwirizane nanu, muyenera kukumana naye theka ndikupewa kusewera masewera amalingaliro. Mwachitsanzo, ngati sanathe kukutumizirani mameseji kapena kukumana nanu kwa masiku angapo chifukwa chakuti mwana wake anali kudwala, musamulankhule kapena kumuchitira chipongwe kuti mungomulawitsa mankhwala ake. M’malo mwake, khalani owona mtima m’zochita zanu ndi iwo. Sibwino kugawana nawo zomwe mwakhumudwitsidwa chifukwa cha zolinga zomwe zathetsedwa kapena kumuuza kuti mwamusowa, komanso ndikofunikira kupereka chithandizo ndikugwiritsa ntchito bwino nthawi yomwe mumakhala limodzi. 

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6. Adzakhala tcheru ndi zosowa zanu

Mwamuna amene ndi kholo lodzipereka modabwitsa adzakhala wosamala kwambiri ndi zosowa zanu ndipo nthawi zonse adzakuchitirani zabwino. Kulera mwana/ana ake ndi kuwakonda kwambiri zaka zonsezi kudzamuthandiza kukhala wosamala kwambiri.

Izi zokha zimapangitsa kukhala ndi iye kukhala koyenera kuyesetsa konse komwe mukuchita kuti ubale wanu ukhale wolimba. Ngati inunso ndinu kholo lolera lokha ana, ili ndi limodzi mwa mapindu osaneneka a kukhala ndi bambo amene akulera okha ana. Popeza ali mumkhalidwe wovuta wa kulera ana, sangangomvetsetsa zokakamizika zanu ndi kudzipereka kwanu monga kholo komanso zosowa za ana anu.

Zoyenera kuchita 

Gwirani m'malingaliro ake kuti mulimbikitse ubale wanu ndi iye ndikuyala maziko a ubale wolimba, wokhalitsa

7. Chinthu china cha amayi

Ngati muli pachibwenzi ndi munthu wina yemwe ali ndi ana, sizikutanthauza kuti payenera kukhala mayi pachithunzichi. Ngati asudzulana ndipo muli pachibwenzi ndi bambo amene amamulera, iyeyo ndi mnzake wakale amakambirana ndikukhala limodzi nthawi ndi nthawi. Ngakhale mutakhala pachibwenzi ndi bambo osakwatiwa omwe ali ndi udindo wosamalira mwana, simunganene kuti mwina ali ndi ubale wina ndi mwana wake wakale wakale. Kumbali ina, ngati wamwalira, mungamve kukhalapo kwake m'moyo wanu ngakhale kuti palibe.

Zoyenera kuchita 

Kaya nkhaniyo ndi yotani, kumva ngati mkazi winayo kapena kuchita zinthu ndi winayo kungakupangitseni kukhala ndi malo, kukhala osatetezeka, komanso nsanje. Chitani izi moyenera kuti zisasokoneze ubale wanu kapena kuwononga thanzi lanu la maganizo.

• Lankhulani ndi wokondedwa wanu za amayi a ana ake mudakalipo ndipo mumvetse mtundu wa equation yomwe amagawana 
• Onani ngati ndi chinthu chomwe mungakhazikitse nacho mtendere musanatengeke kwambiri 
• Funsani mnzanuyo kuti akhale womasuka komanso wowona mtima pazochita zake ndi wakale wake, kuti pasakhale mpata wokayikitsa komanso kusamvetsetsana.
• Ngati mumadziona kuti ndinu wosatetezeka komanso wansanje, yesetsani kuthetsa maganizo amenewo. Ngakhale mutha kugawana zakukhosi kwanu ndi mnzanu, kumbukirani udindo wowathetsa uli pa inu, osati iye

8. Adzakupatsani kukhazikika;

N'zosavuta kumangoganizira za zizindikiro zowopsa za ubale wanu mukamachita chibwenzi ndi mwamuna amene ali ndi mwana, koma ngati mutayang'anitsitsa, mulinso ndi zizindikiro zobiriwira. Ubwenzi ndi mwamuna amene ali ndi ana sungakhale wongochitika mwangozi kapena wosangalatsa koma mungadalire kuti udzakhala wokhazikika chifukwa cha zifukwa izi:

• Munthu uyu ndi wokhwima komanso wokhazikika m'moyo wake. Amadziwa zomwe akufuna
• Popeza wabwereranso pachibwenzi, ali wokonzeka kutembenuza tsamba latsopano
• Wakusankhani kuti mukhale bwenzi lake paulendowu, zikutanthauza kuti ndinu wapadera kwa iye

Zoyenera kuchita 

Musati mupite kukafunafuna mbendera zofiira za abambo osakwatiwa poyika mbali iliyonse yaubwenzi wanu pansi pa microscope. M’malo mwake, yang’anani pa mfundo yakuti wasankha kukhala nanu chifukwa chofuna kutero, ndi kuletsa phokoso lina lonselo. 

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Chibwenzi Pambuyo pa Kusudzulana - Zinthu 15 Zomwe Muyenera Kudziwa Zokhudza

9. Akhoza kuchita dzimbiri pachibwenzi

Ngati mukuchita chibwenzi ndi bambo wosudzulana, mwina iyi ikhoza kukhala nthawi yake yoyamba ya rodeo kuyambira pamene adavala chipewa cha bambo yekha . Angazengereze kufotokoza zakukhosi kwake kwa inu. Angavutike ndi chinthu chosavuta monga kunena kuti “Ndimakukondani”. Pooja akuti, “Kugonana ndi chinsinsi kungakhudzidwenso mukamachita chibwenzi ndi mwamuna ndi mwana. Ngati mwanayo ali wamng'ono ndipo akugonabe ndi mnzanu, kupeza malo oti mukhale naye paubwenzi kungakhale kovuta. Ngakhale ana atakhala akuluakulu, kukhala paubwenzi ndi mnzanu, makamaka mukakhala m'nyumba mwake kapena mukayamba kukhala limodzi, kungakhale kovuta.”

Zoyenera kuchita 

Mutha kusintha moyo wanu wachikondi pomuwonetsa chikondi ndi chikondi mpaka pomwe kubwezerana kumabwera kwa iye. Yang'anani njira zopangira zopangira mwayi waubwenzi ndi chikondi. Nawa malingaliro ena: 

• Ngati muli pachibwenzi ndi bambo amene akulerani nawo limodzi, khalani limodzi nthawi yabwino masiku amene ana ali ndi amayi awo. Gwiritsani ntchito mwayi uwu kuti musamangokhalira kukondana komanso kuti mukhale ndi chilakolako chogonana 
• Ngati muli pachibwenzi ndi bambo osakwatiwa amene ali ndi udindo wolera ana, ganizirani zogulira munthu wodalirika wolera ana/wantchito waganyu amene chisamaliro chake chimakhala chomasuka kusiya ana ake kuti apeze malo ochezerana ndi mausiku ndi macheza achikondi (panyumba panu)  

10. Mwina sadachitepo kanthu ndi akazi kwa nthawi yayitali

Ngati mwamuna amene mukumukonda wakhala akulera yekha kwa nthawi yayitali, mwina sanalankhule ndi mkazi kwa nthawi yayitali. Kwawo kungakhale ngati malo oti mnyamata azigona ndipo mwina sakudziwa zosowa ndi ziyembekezo za mkazi. Ngakhale zinthu zodziwika bwino monga mkazi kukhala ndi nkhawa komanso kukwiya pang'ono pamene akugonana ndi mwamuna wake zingamupangitse kudabwa.

Zoyenera kuchita

Chabwino, muyenera kusintha mawonekedwe ake, pang'onopang'ono komanso mokhazikika.

• Musamayembekezere kuti awerenge malingaliro anu
• Khalani omasuka pazosowa zanu ndi zomwe mukufuna 
• Lankhulani naye kuti mupereke ziyembekezo 
• Kambiranani, kambiranani, funsani wina ndi mzake mafunso, tsegulani, khalani osatetezeka

11. Mwamuna wanu amabwera ndi katundu wamaganizo

Ukwati/ubale womwe sunayende bwino. Kutaya chikondi cha moyo wake. Kugonana mwachisawawa komwe kunapangitsa kuti mnzakeyo atenge mimba. Kaya nkhani ndi yotani, muyenera kukonzekera mavuto amtima . Osatchulanso za kumverera koti simukuchita zokwanira. Chifukwa chake, tsatirani mfundo izi mosamala ndipo khalani okoma mtima mukamacheza ndi bambo wosakwatiwa.

Carlos, wazaka 35, akuti: "Nditayamba chibwenzi ndi Matthew, ndidadziwa kuti akubisa chilonda kuyambira kale. Sanaulule za mkazi wake wakale. Sindimadziwa ngati anali ndi moyo kapena ayi. Ndinaleza mtima kwa nthawi yayitali koma chinsinsichi chidandidya mkati ndipo tsiku lina, ndidawombera. Zomwe adawulula sizinali zomwe ndimayembekezera.

Zoyenera kuchita

Chiwopsezo chamalingaliro sichingabwere mosavuta kwa mwamuna yemwe anachitapo ngozi ndi kuwotcha kale. Choncho, muyenera: 

• Khalani woleza mtima kwa iye, kumulola kuti atsegule pa liŵiro lake 
• Muloleni amve kuti ndinu malo ake otetezeka
• Osachita chidwi ngati sakumva bwino kuyankhula za nkhani inayake, makamaka za mnzake wakale/mnzake wakale/amayi ake kapena ana ake. 

12. Sangauze ana ake za inu nthawi yomweyo

Mukakhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu wina wokhala ndi ana, mungaone kuti alibe chidwi chouza ana ake za inuyo. Ndipo izi zingakhale zovutitsa chifukwa simunalakwe poyembekezera kukhala mbali ya moyo wake. Koma ngati muwona mmene zinthu zilili m’kaonedwe kake: sangafune kusokoneza moyo wa ana ake mpaka atatsimikiza kuti chinthu chimene mukupita n’cholimba. Ndipo izo nzolungamitsidwa kwathunthu. 

Pooja akuti, "Popeza ine ndi mnzanga tonse tinali ndi ana kuchokera muubwenzi wathu wakale , tinamvetsa bwino vutoli. Kuti kusinthaku kukhale kosavuta kwa iwo, tinakonzekera bwino maulendo omwe ana athu ankapeza mwayi wocheza ndi kudziwana popanda kukakamizidwa ndi makolo awo kuti azichita chibwenzi. Tikangokhazikitsa ubale winawake, ndi pamene tinkawauza za ubale wathu."

Zoyenera kuchita

Lamulo lofunika pa chibwenzi ndi mwamuna yemwe ali ndi mwana ndi kusamuthamangira kupanga chisankho cha nthawi yoti auze ana ake za ubale wanu. Tsatirani chitsogozo chake, perekani chithandizo, ndipo dikirani. 

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Chibwenzi Chimatanthauza Chiyani kwa Mwamuna?

13. Ana ake sangakukondeni

Popeza kuti ali ana ndi maganizo awo osalakwa, mungaoneke ngati woloŵerera amene akutenga malo amene poyamba anali a kholo lawo lina, udindo wothyola madzi oundana m’njira yoyenera uli pa inu. Ndipo ndithudi, mnzanuyo. 

Zoyenera kuchita

"Njira imodzi yowonetsetsa kuti simukuchita zinthu molakwika ndi ana ake ndikuwapangitsa kumva kuti sakukondedwa nthawi iliyonse, mwanjira iliyonse. Ubale watsopanowu suyenera kupangitsa anawo kumva kuti ndi osatetezeka kapena oopsezedwa," akulangiza Pooja. Poyamba mukamacheza nawo, ndikofunikira kuti:

• Muzipeza nthawi yochita zinthu zimene amasangalala nazo 
• Konzani zochita zomwe ana angatenge nawo mbali
• Aphatikizeni pazokambirana 
• Yesetsani kumanga ubale ndi iwo, osadalira abambo awo

14. Angakhale ndi udindo wochuluka

N'zoonekeratu kuti nthawi yopuma ingakhale yosangalatsa kwa iye. Koma zimathandizira kuwunika kuchuluka kwa mwanaalirenji. Musanayambe kukhala otanganidwa kwambiri, khalani ndi nthawi yoganizira mafunso otsatirawa:

• Kodi angatengeko maola angapo kumapeto kwa sabata kapena pakati pa mlungu kuti akhale nanu?
• Kodi adzatha kukuimbirani foni kamodzi pa tsiku ndi kulankhula kwa nthawi yaitali?
• Kodi mungathe kulankhulana pogwiritsa ntchito malemba?
• Kodi ali womasuka kukhazikitsa malamulo ena amasiku, mafoni, ndi kutumizirana mameseji mukakhala pachibwenzi?

Ngati sichoncho, ndiye kuti munthuyu akhoza kukhala wosapezeka kuti akhale naye paubwenzi. Ngakhale atakhala wofunika bwanji panthawiyi, zinthu sizingayende bwino m'tsogolomu.

Zoyenera kuchita

Musanayambe kudumphira ndi mapazi onse awiri, tulukani pamasiku ochepa, ndipo panthawiyi, muwone ngati ali ndi nthawi ndi malo a ubale weniweni m'moyo wake. Ngati sichoncho, gawani njira musanalowe mozama kwambiri. 

15. Angafune kuchedwetsa zinthu

Mukakonzeka kunena kuti “Ndimakukondani” , akhoza kukhala womasuka kukuuzani kuti amakukondani ndipo amasamala za inu. Nkhani yokhudza chibwenzi ndi bambo wosakwatiwa ndi yakuti katundu wa ubale wake wakale komanso zenizeni za panopo zingamupangitse kukhala wosamala kwambiri. Monga tanenera kale, kuleza mtima ndi bwenzi lanu lapamtima ngati mukufunadi kuti izi zigwire ntchito.

Zoyenera kuchita

Musanayambe kudumphira, muyenera kuyang'ana pa:

• Kodi ndiyenera kukhala pachibwenzi ndi bambo wachikulire yemwe ali ndi mwana ngati ndikufulumira kudzipereka kwa wina, kapena kukwatira?
• Chifukwa chiyani ndikuufuna ubalewu?
• Kodi ndimacheza naye pazifukwa zoyenera?

Ngati, mutamuyang’ana, mwatsimikiza kuti iye ndi woyenerera kwa inu, khalani okonzeka kuchitira zinthu patsogolo pa liŵiro limene nonse muli nalo. Yang'anani ndi wina ndi mzake ndi kuwona komwe nonse muli, mokhudzidwa. Kulankhulana momasuka ndi moona mtima ndiyo njira yokhayo yopitira kupyola zopinga zing’onozing’onozi zimene mungakumane nazo mukakhala pachibwenzi ndi bambo wosakwatiwa. 

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16. Kusamukira pamodzi kungayambitse mavuto

Chinthu chosavuta monga kusamukira limodzi chingakhale chovuta ngati mnzanu ali ndi ana. Ayenera kutsatira dongosololi. Mukasamukira, muyenera kusintha zochita zanu ndi moyo wanu kuti mukwaniritse zosowa za ana ake. Muyenera kuganizira za ndalama zomwe zingachitike chifukwa cha chisankhochi, monga momwe udindo wake wa zachuma ungakhudzire ndalama zomwe mumagwiritsa ntchito, ndalama zogulira ana, ndalama zolipirira koleji, ndi zina.

Zoyenera kuchita

Osapanga chisankho chosamukira limodzi mopepuka kapena mopupuluma. Ganizirani mmene ana ake angakhudzire moyo wanu—pamene akupatsani mpata m’moyo wawo ndiponso ngati sizikuyenda monga momwe munkayembekezera. Tengani izi pokhapokha mutatsimikiza 100% kuti muli momwemo kwa nthawi yayitali, ngakhale mukukumana ndi zovuta. 

17. Muyenera kumanga ubale ndi ana ake

“Kukumana ndi ana ake kwa nthaŵi yoyamba kungakhale kovuta.” Ngati mutenga udindo wa kholo mutangoyamba kumene, zingakupatseni uthenga woti mukuyesera kufafaniza malo a kholo lina m’moyo wawo, zimene zingawabweretsere mavuto.

Zoyenera kuchita

Inde, mungaone anyamata omwe ali ndi makanda okongola. Koma chibwenzi ndi bambo wosakwatiwa ndi chosiyana kwambiri. Muyenera kuthana ndi gawo lonse la kudziwana ndi ana ake mosamala. Nazi nkhani zina zotetezeka zokambirana kuti mutsegule ubale ndikupangitsa anawo kuti akusangalatseni:

• Kodi makatuni/nyimbo zomwe mumakonda ndi zotani (malinga ndi zaka za mwana?
• Kodi chakudya choipitsitsa ndi chiyani padziko lapansi?
• Sinthani tsiku lanu pamlingo wa 1-10; 1 kukhala yoyipa ndipo 10 kukhala tsiku labwino kwambiri 
• Kodi chatsopano kusukulu masiku ano ndi chiyani?

Mukakhazikitsa ubale ndi iwo, kuvomereza kumatsatira. Malingana ngati muli okoma mtima ndi achifundo, pali mwayi waukulu wakuti ana ake sangangosangalala nanu komanso mungapitirize kukhala nawo paubwenzi wabwino. 

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18. Muyenera kuzolowera miyambo ndi machitidwe awo

Tinene kuti, mwamuna yemwe muli naye pachibwenzi amakhala Lamlungu m'mawa akusewera mpira ndi mwana wake. Kapena onse amathera Loweruka ndi Lamlungu akuyenda paulendo. Mukakhala mbali ya moyo wawo, mudzayembekezeredwa kukhala mbali ya machitidwe oterowo. Ngati ana akuona kuti atate wawo akusiya nthaŵi ya banja chifukwa cha inu, angayambe kukuipirani chifukwa cha zimenezo. Izo zikhoza kutsegula chitini cha mphutsi ndi kubweretsa zambiri zosasangalatsa. 

Zoyenera kuchita

Mukhoza kupewa mavuto pongophatikiza ana ake pazinthu zoti achite ngati banja. Muyenera kupeza malo oti banja lanu lizipita kukacheza, kupita ku pikiniki, ndi kuonera mafilimu, kuwonjezera pa masiku anu ocheza komanso nthawi yabwino yocheza ngati banja.

19. PDA sangalandiridwe

Tinene kuti mukudya chakudya chamadzulo ndi chibwenzi chanu ndi ana ake. Ndipo amalankhula kapena kuchita zomwe zimapangitsa kuti mtima wako udumphe. Chizoloŵezi chanu choyamba chingakhale kumpsompsona ndi kumuuza kuti mumamukonda kapena kumupeza kukhala wokongola. Koma muyenera kuganizira momwe izi zidzatsikira ndi ana ake. Angamve kukhala osamasuka ndi manja oterowo. Izi zikutanthauza kuti muyenera kuphunzira kuwongolera zomwe mwachita mwachibadwa mozungulira iwo.

Zoyenera kuchita

Ndi bwino kuchepetsa kusonyezana chikondi pamalo anu achinsinsi pamene mukuyamba kudziwana ndi ana a mnzanu. Mukamasuka kukhala ndi wina ndi mnzake, mutha kuyesa madziwo pogwira dzanja la mnzanu kapena kumukumbatira pamaso pa anawo ndikuwona momwe angachitire.

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20. Sangafune ukwati kapena ana

Mwamuna amene ali kale tate sangakhale womasuka ku lingaliro la kukwatira ndi kukhala ndi ana ena. Nanga bwanji ngati zimenezo n’zimene mumazifunadi? Mwachibadwa, izi zidzathetsa ubale wanu nthawi ina. 

Zoyenera kuchita

Muyenera kukambirana za momwe amaonera moyo wake. Inde, zingawoneke ngati msanga kuyambitsa nkhani izi pamene chibwenzi chanu chikadali chatsopano ndipo palibe lonjezo lomwe lapangidwa. Koma zidzakuthandizani kuthetsa vutoli pachiyambi pofunsa mafunso oyenera okhudza ukwati ndi ana kuti muwonetsetse kuti nonse muli pa tsamba limodzi.

21. Anzanu ndi achibale anu sangavomereze

Mwina ndi zaka za m'ma 21 ndi zina zonse, koma pali manyazi omwe amagwirizanitsidwa ndi chibwenzi ndi mwamuna yemwe ali ndi ana, makamaka ngati simuli pabanja. Yembekezerani kuti anzanu ndi achibale anu achitepo kanthu kosasangalatsa. Mwina sangavomereze ubale wanu kapena angakulimbikitseni kupeza munthu amene ali pamalo omwewo m'moyo wanu. Ngati mukukambirana kale ngati chibwenzi ndi bambo wolera ana limodzi kapena bambo wosakwatira ndi lingaliro labwino kapena ayi, machitidwe oterewa angakupangitseni kusokonezeka.

Zoyenera kuchita

Mvetserani kumtima wanu ndikutsatira matumbo anu. Ngati mukukhulupirira kuti inu ndi mwamuna wanu muli limodzi, musalole maganizo a anthu ena kukulepheretsani. Komanso, kumbukirani kuti zosankha zanu zingasokoneze ubwenzi wanu ndi anthu amene mumayandikana nawo kwambiri, ngakhale kwa nthawi yochepa. Muyenera kukhala okonzeka kuthana nazo. 

Maganizo Final

Pomaliza, ngati muli pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna yemwe ali ndi ana ndipo mukuvutikira kuti izi zitheke, dziwani kuti nkwachibadwa. Malingana ndi zovuta za maubwenzi, izi zimakhala zapamwamba kwambiri mu dongosolo. Koma, ngati mukumva m'matumbo anu kuti ichi ndi chisankho choyenera, musalole kuyesayesa kofunikira kuti izi zitheke kapena tsankho la anthu likulepheretseni.

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