11 Zomverera Munthu Amadutsamo Akanamizidwa

Chidutswa ichi chikubwera molunjika kuchokera mumsewu wa mtima wanga womwe ndidatsekereza patatha chaka chachisoni ndi kuzunzika. Ndikukusiyani zina mwazambiri zofunika m'ndimeyi kuti musamve ngati muli nokha. Moyo pambuyo pa kunyengedwa sikufanana chifukwa umasintha inu. Zomwe zimamverera pambuyo pa kunyengedwa ndi mwamuna/mkazi/mnzako/mnzako zimakusiyani okhumudwa komanso osachita mantha.

Chimodzi mwazinthu zoyamba zomwe ndinamva pakukulirakulira chinali dzanzi. Zinali ngati thupi langa lafa ziwalo. Ndikukumbukira kuti ndinachita dzanzi kwa masiku angapo. Ngati pali chilichonse m'dziko lino chimene sindingafune pa wina aliyense, ndi kukhala pa mapeto a kusakhulupirika mnzanga. 

Chimene chimatsatira pambuyo pa dzanzi ndi kutengeka maganizo komwe kumakhala koopsa komanso kowononga moyo. Ukufuna kuvomereza zoona zake koma mtima wako umangonenabe kuti mnzako sangalakwitse chilichonse chifukwa udamudalira pa chilichonse chomwe unali nacho komanso chifukwa kale amati amakukonda kuposa china chilichonse padziko lapansi pano. Zonse zomwe mumakhulupirira zakhala zabodza. Dziko lanu ndi topsy-turvy ndipo mwatsala mukulendewera mumlengalenga. 

Zomverera Pambuyo Kunyengedwa - Kodi Munthu Amadutsamo Motani? 

Mukugwa m’chikondi ndi winawake. Chikondi chanu chimabwezedwanso chimodzimodzi. Ndinu wokondwa kwambiri kuti wasankha kuti ndi munthu amene mudzakwatirane naye ndikukhala naye moyo wanu wonse. Mukuganiza kuti muli ndi nyumba yokhala ndi nazale yobzala m'nyumba ndi ana ochepa. Ndiye, bambo! Chovalacho chimakokedwa pansi pa mapazi anu ndipo mumagwa nkhope-choyamba pamtunda wolimba, wa konkire.

Mukuzindikira kuti nyumba yanu inali nyumba yamakhadi yomwe tsopano yagwa chifukwa cha kusakhulupirika kwa munthu m'modzi. Kunena mofatsa, kunyengedwa ndi koyipa kwambiri komanso momwe mungachiritsire munthu atanyengedwa sikophweka. Zowawa nthawi zonse zimakhala pamiyendo yanu ngati khanda losowa lomwe likufunika kusamalidwa 24 × 7. Pitirizani kuwerenga kuti mudziwe zambiri za momwe wina akumvera pambuyo poti wakunyengereredwa komanso momwe mungathane naye.

1. Kugwedezeka kudzakuthandizani dzanzi

Kumayambiriro kwa kumverera mwachinyengo pambuyo pa kunyengedwa kumakhala ndi mantha. Chowonadi chokhudza munthu amene mumamukonda chidzakudabwitsani. Munadalira munthuyu ndipo munali naye pachiopsezo chifukwa mumaganiza kuti sangakuvulazeni. Tsopano mwapeza kuti zonse zinali zabodza. Mwadzidzimuka koposa mawu. Mukuchita chibwibwi, kutuluka thukuta komanso kunjenjemera. Kugwedezekako kudzachititsa dzanzi thupi lanu ndi ubongo. Simungathe kuganiza bwino. 

Chinthu chimodzi chimene ndinazindikira nditachira chifukwa cha manthawo n’chakuti ndinaiwala kwa kanthaŵi kuti mnzanga wakale anali munthu winanso amene anali ndi makhalidwe oipa. Tikamakonda munthu, timavala magalasi amtundu wa rozi ndipo timanyalanyaza makhalidwe ake oipa. Apa ndi pamene kumverera kotsatira kumakhala kofunika kwambiri kuti tithetse.

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2. Kukana kwakukulu

Kutsatira kuchokera ku mfundo yapitayi, chimodzi mwazomverera zomwe mumamva mutatha kunyengedwa ndikukana. Mudzakana kuvomereza choonadi chifukwa chakuti simunawaone moipa. Munali otanganidwa ndi kugwa m’chikondi mwakuti munaiwala kuyima kamphindi ndi kusanthula makhalidwe awo oipa. Kukana ndi chimodzi mwazo magawo akutha kuti aliyense amadutsamo.

Chifukwa chimene ndinkakanira chowonadi chinali chakuti sindinkaganiza kuti angachite zinthu ngati zimenezi kuti andipweteke. Ndinkamuona ngati munthu wabwino kwambiri padziko lapansi amene sangachite cholakwa chilichonse. Ndinamuyika pampando pafupi ndi angelo. Mwina n’chifukwa chake ndinkangokhalira kukana kusakhulupirika kwake.

Kukana siteji si yaitali koma ndi pamene muyenera kukhala amphamvu. Zimasankha ngati muwabweza m'moyo wanu kapena ayi. Ngati mupitiriza kukana choonadi ndipo akupepesa chifukwa cha kulakwitsa kwawo, ndiye kuti pali mwayi woti muyanjane ndi wonyengayo. Kapena atha kupezerapo mwayi pakukana kwanu ndikupanga udzu pomwe dzuwa likuwala. Adzakana choonadi kotheratu ndipo adzazipangitsa kuoneka ngati osalakwa ndipo sanalakwe chilichonse. Musati mugwere konse pa izi. 

3. Mumazindikira kuti mwaperekedwa

Mukalimbana ndi malingaliro omwe tawatchulawa mutanamizidwa, zonse zimakhazikika. Kunena mosabisa - chikondi cha moyo wanu chidakusewerani. Anasewera ndi malingaliro anu. Iwo aphwanya malonjezo awo. Iwo atengerapo mwayi pa kuwakhulupirira ndi kuwadalira kwanu. Iwo anatenga dziko lanu ndi kuliphulitsa ilo. Tsopano, inu mwaima pakati pa zibwinja za nyumba yosweka. Kunyenga ndi chimodzi mwazo zizindikiro za kusowa ulemu pachibwenzi. Choncho, sanangokunyengererani, koma adakuwonetsaninso kuti sakulemekezani inu ndi ubale wanu.

Mudzayamba kudana ndi munthuyo. Mudzayamba kutaya malingaliro anu mutapusitsidwa. Chikondi chidzasanduka chidani pafupifupi nthawi yomweyo. Kapena mwinamwake, chikondi ndi chidani zidzakhalapo kwa inu, kukusokonezani inunso. Kuzindikira kusakhulupirika kwawo kungakusokonezeni modabwitsa. Zikumveka ngati mwadzuka patapita zaka zambiri mukugona kwambiri. Mumazindikira kuti munanamizidwa, mwapusitsidwa, ndipo mwina mwawotchedwa. Musachite mantha. Izi ndi zachilendo, ndipo pali njira yopita patsogolo kuchokera pano.

4. Kunyozeka ndi kukwiyira ndi zina mwazomverera pambuyo pa kuberedwa

Pamene ndinaperekedwa, ndinachita manyazi ndi manyazi. Anzanga, banja langa, ndi anzanga ankadziwa za ubwenzi wanga. Ndinali nditawauzanso makolo anga kuti uyu ndi munthu amene ndimukwatire. Pali zambiri njira kuberedwa pa kusintha inu. Kudzazidwa ndi manyazi ndi chimodzi mwa izo.

Nditadziwa zoona, ndinachita manyazi kupita kukawauza kuti ndinasankha munthu wamantha chifukwa chokondana naye. Ngati nanunso mukukumana ndi manyazi omwewo, chonde dziwani kuti ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zomwe zimakuchitikirani mutaberedwa, ngakhale mulibe chochita manyazi. Kukhulupirira wina sikulakwa, kuswa chikhulupiriro chimenecho ndiko.

Kunyozeka ndi manyazi kumeneku kudzayambitsa mkwiyo wambiri. Nawu umboni wa wolemba wanu wowona mtima - sindingawonetse mkwiyo wanga. Ndimaziyika m'botolo ndipo imakhala mkati mwanga mpaka itakonzeka kuphulika. Ngati mwakwiya, musausunge mkati. Lankhulani ndi okondedwa anu za izo. Onetsani mkwiyo wanu. Lirani mokweza ndikufuula mapapu anu. Chitani zonse zomwe mungathe kuti mukhale oganiza bwino. 

5. Chisoni chachikulu

Moyo wanu watsopano mutaberedwa umabweretsa chisoni chochuluka. Chisoni sichingalephereke. Mudzapita kulikonse magawo a chisoni pambuyo pa kutha kwa banja. Simudzangodandaula kutha kwa ubale wanu. Mudzaliranso maliro a munthu amene munamukonda kwa nthawi yaitali. Mudzamva kuti mulibe mphamvu komanso mulibe chiyembekezo. Munthu amene munamukonda kulibenso. Maganizo anu adzathetsedwa, ndipo mudzatsala mukumva kudwala pambuyo pokuberedwa. 

Tengani nthawi yanu ndikukhala achisoni ngati ndi zomwe mukufuna chifukwa palibe amene angakukakamizeni kuti mukhale bwino. Koma ngati chisonicho chasintha n’kukhala kuvutika maganizo, pemphani thandizo kwa akatswiri. Chisoni ndi, mwachisoni komanso moona mtima, imodzi mwamagawo amalingaliro pambuyo pa kunyengedwa, ndipo zimatenga nthawi yayitali kuti muchoke kuti mukhale oona mtima. 

6. Mudzaganiza kuti simunali oyenera kwa iwo

Ichi ndi chimodzi mwazomverera zomwe mumamva mutapusitsidwa. Mudzafunsa ngati simunali bwenzi labwino. Mwinamwake munali chinachake chosowa mwa inu, kuti simunali kukwaniritsa zofuna zawo zamaganizo kapena kugonana. M’malo mongoyang’ana zinthu zoipa zimene mnzanuyo anachita, mudzadzifunsa ndi kudzikayikira. Sikuchita bwino koma ndizofala kwambiri ndipo muyenera kudziwa momwe mungathetsere kusatetezeka atanyengedwa.

Ndinapita patsogolo pang’ono kuposa anthu ambiri ndipo ndinayamba kudzida. Ndinadziona kuti ndine wopusa yemwe sindimaona zizindikiro zachinyengo. Kudzidetsa kumeneku kunali kovutirapo ndipo kudapangitsa kudzidalira kwanga kutsika. Kenako ndinazindikira kuti palibe cholakwika ndi ine. Ndiyenera chikondi chosadetsedwa ndi choyera. Ngati simunakhalepo pazigawo zilizonse zamalingaliro mutanamizidwa, musadzifunse kapena kudzida nokha chifukwa cha zochita za wina. Ndicho chinthu chosalungama chomwe mungadzichitire nokha. 

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7. Mudzafuna kudziwa kanthu kakang'ono kalikonse kokhudza nkhaniyo.

Pambuyo pakumva chisoni ndi kukwiya, magawo amalingaliro atapusitsidwa amasunthira ku chidwi chowawa. Mwasiyidwa ndi chidwi chofuna kudziwa chilichonse chokhudza chibwenzicho. Pali zambiri mitundu ya zibwenzi ndipo mudzafuna kudziwa zonse za izo. Kodi chinali chochitika chotani? Kodi anakumana nawo kuti? Kodi iwo anachita izo kuti? Kodi iwo anachita kangati? Kodi ali m'chikondi kapena akungopusa? Mafunso ovuta samatha. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zomwe ndimakonda kwambiri. Ndinapitiriza kukonza tsatanetsatane wa chibwenzicho.

Ndinkafuna kudziwa zonse zimene zinachitika komanso kumene zinachitika. Ndinkaganiza kuti mwina zonse zikanandithandiza kuyendetsa bwino zinthu. Ndinkaganiza kuti zonse zikhala zomveka koma nditapeza mayankho, malingaliro anga onse adakula. Fotokozani zakukhosi kwanu mutaberedwa, koma osapita kukafufuza mayankho. Nthawi zina, kusadziwa kumakhala kosangalatsa. 

8. Mudzadzifananiza ndi munthu amene adakunyengani naye 

Khalidwe lotereli lidzasokoneza kwambiri kudzidalira kwanu. Kodi ndi wokongola kuposa ine? Ndi wokongola kuposa ine? Kodi munthu ameneyo ali bwino kuposa ine pabedi? Kodi ali ndi thupi labwino kuposa ine? Awa ndi malingaliro oyipa komanso malingaliro omwe anthu ambiri amakhala nawo atapusitsidwa ndi mwamuna/mkazi/mnzako/mkazi. Muyenera kudziwa momwe mungatulukire mumsampha wofananiza popeza maganizo amenewa adzakupwetekani monga momwe kusakhulupirika kwachitira. 

Osati kokha kufananitsa kumeneku kuli kosayenera, malingalirowa amalepheretsa kupita kwanu patsogolo ku machiritso. Mukulola mphamvu zoipa kutenga malo m'mutu mwanu. Dziwani kuti simungakhale wina ndipo sangakhale inu. Ndiko kukongola kwa munthu payekha. Muyenera kukondedwa ndi kukondweretsedwa chifukwa chokhala yemwe muli. 

9. Mudzafuna kukhala nokha 

Moyo pambuyo ponyengedwa sudzakhala wofanana. Mudzafuna kukhala nokha nthawi zambiri. Mudzapewa kucheza ndi anzanu chifukwa simudziwa momwe mungayankhire mafunso awo okhudza banja. Mudzakana kusiya chitonthozo cha nyumba yanu. Thana ndi kusungulumwa pambuyo pa kutha njira yoyenera mwa kupeza chithandizo kwa abwenzi ndi abale.

Mudzakhala osungulumwa, koma apa ndi pamene mudzapezekanso. Mutha kubwereranso kumasewera akale. Mutha kuwonera makanema omwe mumakonda kwambiri. Mutha kuyamba kugwira ntchito. Yoga, masewera olimbitsa thupi, Zumba, kapena chilichonse chomwe chimakuthandizani kuti mukhale bwino. Koma ngati simungathe kupirira kusungulumwa, chonde funsani akatswiri. 

10. Mudzakhala ndi nthawi yovuta kuphunzira kudaliranso 

Mukadutsa magawo omwe ali pamwambawa mutapusitsidwa, mudzakhala ndi chidwi nkhani za trust. Ngati mwakwanitsa kubwereranso ku masewera a chibwenzi kachiwiri, mudzakhala ndi vuto lokhulupirira anthu omwe mumakumana nawo. Mudzakayikira zochita zawo, zolinga zawo, khalidwe lawo, ngakhalenso zowona za mawu awo.

Kwa nthawi yaitali, zidzakhala zovuta kuti mukhulupirire aliyense. Mudzakayikira ngati mudzakhala ndi ubale wabwino ndi wachikondi. Maganizo otere akachitiridwa chinyengo ndi achibadwa. Ngati muli pa nthawi ino, tengani nthawi yonse yomwe mukufuna kukonza ubale wanu ndi dziko lapansi. Kupatula apo, chidaliro chanu chidasweka kamodzi. Palibe amene ayenera kukuthamangitsani, kukukakamizani, kapena kukukakamizani kuti muziwakhulupirira posachedwa. 

11. Mudzamvanso mphamvu

Landirani ndikufotokozera zakukhosi kwanu mutapusitsidwa m'njira yoyenera ndipo mudzapeza kuwala kumapeto kwa ngalandeyo. Mudzamvanso mphamvu. Mudzachita kugwanso m’chikondi. Mudzalimbana nazo. M'kupita kwa nthawi, mudzachira. Mudzasiya kusamala za munthu amene wakupatsani zonsezi. Zomwe muyenera kuchita ndikudzikhulupirira nokha. Mudzazindikira kuti munthu m'modzi sangathe kukuuzani chisangalalo chanu.

Pamene ndinali kulimbana ndi malingaliro pambuyo pa kunyengedwa, ndinatembenukira kwa Harry Muumbi zambiri. Mawu a Albus Dumbledore anali gawo loyamba lomwe ndidachita kuti ndikhale bwino. Iye anati: “Chimwemwe chingapezeke ngakhale m’nthaŵi zamdima kwambiri, ngati munthu angokumbukira kuyatsa nyali.” Moyo udzapitirira kukuponyerani ma curveballs. Zili pa inu kuyang'ana kuwala, ndipo pamapeto pake mukhale ndi chiyembekezo, oyembekezera, ndi okondwa.

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Mwauzidwa (kapena mwapeza) chowonadi chophwanya moyo. Mukukumana ndi kamvuluvulu wamalingaliro pakadali pano. Mwakwiya mphindi ina ndikuphwanya ina. Muzithana ndi maganizo anu mwanzeru. Gwirani ntchito mwa iwo. Zindikirani kuti maganizo anu ndi abwino. Bwererani ndi kusakhulupirika. Chinthu chotsatira chofunika kuchilitso ndicho kusadziimba mlandu chifukwa cha zochita za munthu wina. Landirani izo.

Vomerezani kuti mwaperekedwa. Uzani mnzanu wapamtima za nkhaniyi. Pitani kwa sing'anga. Ku Bonobology, timapereka chithandizo chaukadaulo kudzera mwa athu gulu la alangizi ovomerezeka amene angakuthandizeni kuti muyambe njira yakuchira. Pangani thanzi lanu lamalingaliro kukhala chinthu chofunikira kwambiri. Dzizungulireni ndi anthu abwino ndipo musamachite zinthu motengera momwe mukumvera. 

Ibibazo

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Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.

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