11 Zomverera Munthu Amadutsamo Akanamizidwa

Chidutswa ichi chikubwera molunjika kuchokera mumsewu wa mtima wanga womwe ndidatsekereza patatha chaka chachisoni ndi kuzunzika. Ndikukusiyani zina mwazambiri zofunika m'ndimeyi kuti musamve ngati muli nokha. Moyo pambuyo pa kunyengedwa sikufanana chifukwa umasintha inu. Zomwe zimamverera pambuyo pa kunyengedwa ndi mwamuna/mkazi/mnzako/mnzako zimakusiyani okhumudwa komanso osachita mantha.

Chimodzi mwazinthu zoyamba zomwe ndinamva pakukulirakulira chinali dzanzi. Zinali ngati thupi langa lafa ziwalo. Ndikukumbukira kuti ndinachita dzanzi kwa masiku angapo. Ngati pali chilichonse m'dziko lino chimene sindingafune pa wina aliyense, ndi kukhala pa mapeto a kusakhulupirika mnzanga. 

Chimene chimatsatira pambuyo pa dzanzi ndi kutengeka maganizo komwe kumakhala koopsa komanso kowononga moyo. Ukufuna kuvomereza zoona zake koma mtima wako umangonenabe kuti mnzako sangalakwitse chilichonse chifukwa udamudalira pa chilichonse chomwe unali nacho komanso chifukwa kale amati amakukonda kuposa china chilichonse padziko lapansi pano. Zonse zomwe mumakhulupirira zakhala zabodza. Dziko lanu ndi topsy-turvy ndipo mwatsala mukulendewera mumlengalenga. 

Zomverera Pambuyo Kunyengedwa - Kodi Munthu Amadutsamo Motani? 

Mukugwa m’chikondi ndi winawake. Chikondi chanu chimabwezedwanso chimodzimodzi. Ndinu wokondwa kwambiri kuti wasankha kuti ndi munthu amene mudzakwatirane naye ndikukhala naye moyo wanu wonse. Mukuganiza kuti muli ndi nyumba yokhala ndi nazale yobzala m'nyumba ndi ana ochepa. Ndiye, bambo! Chovalacho chimakokedwa pansi pa mapazi anu ndipo mumagwa nkhope-choyamba pamtunda wolimba, wa konkire.

Mumazindikira kuti nyumba yanu inali nyumba yamakhadi yokha yomwe tsopano yagwa chifukwa cha kusakhulupirika kwa munthu m'modzi. Kunena mwachidule, kunyengedwa ndiye chinthu choipa kwambiri ndipo momwe mungachiritsire mukanyengedwa sikophweka. Kuvulala kumeneku kumakhala pamimba panu nthawi zonse ngati khanda losowa lomwe likufunika kusamalidwa 24 × 7. Pitirizani kuwerenga kuti mudziwe zambiri za momwe munthu akumvera akanyengedwa komanso momwe mungathanirane nazo.

1. Kugwedezeka kudzakuthandizani dzanzi

Kumayambiriro kwa kumverera mwachinyengo pambuyo pa kunyengedwa kumakhala ndi mantha. Chowonadi chokhudza munthu amene mumamukonda chidzakudabwitsani. Munadalira munthuyu ndipo munali naye pachiopsezo chifukwa mumaganiza kuti sangakuvulazeni. Tsopano mwapeza kuti zonse zinali zabodza. Mwadzidzimuka koposa mawu. Mukuchita chibwibwi, kutuluka thukuta komanso kunjenjemera. Kugwedezekako kudzachititsa dzanzi thupi lanu ndi ubongo. Simungathe kuganiza bwino. 

Chinthu chimodzi chimene ndinazindikira nditachira chifukwa cha manthawo n’chakuti ndinaiwala kwa kanthaŵi kuti mnzanga wakale anali munthu winanso amene anali ndi makhalidwe oipa. Tikamakonda munthu, timavala magalasi amtundu wa rozi ndipo timanyalanyaza makhalidwe ake oipa. Apa ndi pamene kumverera kotsatira kumakhala kofunika kwambiri kuti tithetse.

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2. Kukana kwakukulu

Kuchokera pa mfundo yapitayi, chimodzi mwa zinthu zomwe mumakhala nazo mukangonyengedwa ndi kukana. Mudzakana kuvomereza choonadi chifukwa simunawaonepo ngati oipa. Munali otanganidwa kwambiri ndi chikondi kotero kuti munaiwala kuyima kaye ndikuwunika makhalidwe awo oipa. Kukana ndi chimodzi mwa magawo omwe aliyense amakumana nawo pakutha kwa chibwenzi.

Chifukwa chimene ndinkakanira chowonadi chinali chakuti sindinkaganiza kuti angachite zinthu ngati zimenezi kuti andipweteke. Ndinkamuona ngati munthu wabwino kwambiri padziko lapansi amene sangachite cholakwa chilichonse. Ndinamuyika pampando pafupi ndi angelo. Mwina n’chifukwa chake ndinkangokhalira kukana kusakhulupirika kwake.

Kukana siteji si yaitali koma ndi pamene muyenera kukhala amphamvu. Zimasankha ngati muwabweza m'moyo wanu kapena ayi. Ngati mupitiriza kukana choonadi ndipo akupepesa chifukwa cha kulakwitsa kwawo, ndiye kuti pali mwayi woti muyanjane ndi wonyengayo. Kapena atha kupezerapo mwayi pakukana kwanu ndikupanga udzu pomwe dzuwa likuwala. Adzakana choonadi kotheratu ndipo adzazipangitsa kuoneka ngati osalakwa ndipo sanalakwe chilichonse. Musati mugwere konse pa izi. 

3. Mumazindikira kuti mwaperekedwa

Mukalimbana ndi malingaliro omwe atchulidwa pamwambapa mutanyengedwa, zonse zimalowa mkati. Kunena mosapita m'mbali - chikondi cha moyo wanu chinakusewerani. Anasewera ndi malingaliro anu. Anaswa malonjezo awo. Anagwiritsa ntchito mwayi wodalirana kwanu ndi chidaliro mwa iwo. Anatenga dziko lanu ndikuliphulitsa. Tsopano, muli pakati pa zinyalala za nyumba yosweka. Kunyenga ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za kusowa ulemu muubwenzi . Chifukwa chake, sanangokunyengani komanso anakuwonetsani kuti sakulemekezani inu ndi ubale wanu.

Mudzayamba kudana ndi munthuyo. Mudzayamba kutaya malingaliro anu mutapusitsidwa. Chikondi chidzasanduka chidani pafupifupi nthawi yomweyo. Kapena mwinamwake, chikondi ndi chidani zidzakhalapo kwa inu, kukusokonezani inunso. Kuzindikira kusakhulupirika kwawo kungakusokonezeni modabwitsa. Zikumveka ngati mwadzuka patapita zaka zambiri mukugona kwambiri. Mumazindikira kuti munanamizidwa, mwapusitsidwa, ndipo mwina mwawotchedwa. Musachite mantha. Izi ndi zachilendo, ndipo pali njira yopita patsogolo kuchokera pano.

4. Kunyozeka ndi kukwiyira ndi zina mwazomverera pambuyo pa kuberedwa

Pamene ndinaperekedwa, ndinachita manyazi komanso manyazi. Anzanga, banja langa, ndi anzanga ankadziwa za ubale wanga. Ndinawauza makolo anga kuti uyu ndiye munthu amene ndimukwatire. Pali njira zambiri zonyengedwera pakusintha kwanu . Kudzazidwa ndi manyazi ndi chimodzi mwa izo.

Nditadziwa zoona, ndinachita manyazi kupita kukawauza kuti ndinasankha munthu wamantha chifukwa chokondana naye. Ngati nanunso mukukumana ndi manyazi omwewo, chonde dziwani kuti ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zomwe zimakuchitikirani mutaberedwa, ngakhale mulibe chochita manyazi. Kukhulupirira wina sikulakwa, kuswa chikhulupiriro chimenecho ndiko.

Kunyozeka ndi manyazi kumeneku kudzayambitsa mkwiyo wambiri. Nawu umboni wa wolemba wanu wowona mtima - sindingawonetse mkwiyo wanga. Ndimaziyika m'botolo ndipo imakhala mkati mwanga mpaka itakonzeka kuphulika. Ngati mwakwiya, musausunge mkati. Lankhulani ndi okondedwa anu za izo. Onetsani mkwiyo wanu. Lirani mokweza ndikufuula mapapu anu. Chitani zonse zomwe mungathe kuti mukhale oganiza bwino. 

5. Chisoni chachikulu

Moyo wanu watsopano mutanyengedwa umabweretsa chisoni chachikulu. Chisoni sichingapeweke. Mudzadutsa m'magawo onse a chisoni mutapatukana . Simudzangolira kutha kwa ubale wanu. Mudzaliranso imfa ya munthu amene munamukonda kwa nthawi yayitali. Mudzamva kuti mulibe mphamvu komanso mulibe chiyembekezo. Munthu amene munamukonda saliponso. Maganizo anu adzachepa, ndipo mudzatsala mukudwala mutanyengedwa.

Tengani nthawi yanu ndikukhala achisoni ngati ndi zomwe mukufuna chifukwa palibe amene angakukakamizeni kuti mukhale bwino. Koma ngati chisonicho chasintha n’kukhala kuvutika maganizo, pemphani thandizo kwa akatswiri. Chisoni ndi, mwachisoni komanso moona mtima, imodzi mwamagawo amalingaliro pambuyo pa kunyengedwa, ndipo zimatenga nthawi yayitali kuti muchoke kuti mukhale oona mtima. 

6. Mudzaganiza kuti simunali oyenera kwa iwo

Iyi ndi imodzi mwa malingaliro abwinobwino omwe mumakhala nawo mukangonyengedwa. Mudzadzifunsa ngati simunali mnzanu wabwino mokwanira. Mwina panali chinachake chomwe chikusoweka mwa inu, kuti simunakwaniritse zina mwa zomwe amayembekezera m'maganizo kapena kugonana. M'malo moganizira zinthu zoipa zomwe mnzanuyo wachita, mudzadzifunsa nokha. Si njira yabwino koma ndi yofala kwambiri ndipo muyenera kudziwa momwe mungathanirane ndi kusadzidalira mukangonyengedwa.

Ndinapita patsogolo pang’ono kuposa anthu ambiri ndipo ndinayamba kudzida. Ndinadziona kuti ndine wopusa yemwe sindimaona zizindikiro zachinyengo. Kudzidetsa kumeneku kunali kovutirapo ndipo kudapangitsa kudzidalira kwanga kutsika. Kenako ndinazindikira kuti palibe cholakwika ndi ine. Ndiyenera chikondi chosadetsedwa ndi choyera. Ngati simunakhalepo pazigawo zilizonse zamalingaliro mutanamizidwa, musadzifunse kapena kudzida nokha chifukwa cha zochita za wina. Ndicho chinthu chosalungama chomwe mungadzichitire nokha. 

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7. Mudzafuna kudziwa kanthu kakang'ono kalikonse kokhudza nkhaniyo.

Pambuyo pa chisoni ndi mkwiyo wonse, magawo a malingaliro pambuyo poti mwanyengedwa amasanduka chidwi chofuna kudziwa zambiri. Mumatsala ndi chilakolako chofuna kudziwa zonse zokhudza chibwenzicho. Pali mitundu yambiri ya chibwenzi ndipo mungafune kudziwa zonse zokhudza chibwenzicho. Kodi chinali chibwenzi chamtundu wanji? Anakumana nawo kuti? Anachita kuti? Kangati anachita izi? Kodi ali pachibwenzi kapena akungosewera? Mafunso ovuta samatha. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zinthu zomwe ndinkakonda kwambiri. Ndinkangoganizira kwambiri za chibwenzicho.

Ndinkafuna kudziwa zonse zimene zinachitika komanso kumene zinachitika. Ndinkaganiza kuti mwina zonse zikanandithandiza kuyendetsa bwino zinthu. Ndinkaganiza kuti zonse zikhala zomveka koma nditapeza mayankho, malingaliro anga onse adakula. Fotokozani zakukhosi kwanu mutaberedwa, koma osapita kukafufuza mayankho. Nthawi zina, kusadziwa kumakhala kosangalatsa. 

8. Mudzadzifananiza ndi munthu amene adakunyengani naye 

Khalidwe lamtunduwu lidzakhudza kwambiri kudzidalira kwanu. Kodi iye ndi wokongola kuposa ine? Kodi iye ndi wokongola kuposa ine? Kodi munthu ameneyo ndi wabwino kuposa ine pabedi? Kodi ali ndi thupi labwino kuposa ine? Awa ndi maganizo oipa komanso malingaliro ofala mukangonyengedwa ndi mwamuna/mkazi/mnzanu/mwamuna wanu. Muyenera kudziwa momwe mungachokere mumsampha wofananiza chifukwa malingaliro amenewa adzakupwetekani monga momwe kusakhulupirika kwachitira.

Osati kokha kufananitsa kumeneku kuli kosayenera, malingalirowa amalepheretsa kupita kwanu patsogolo ku machiritso. Mukulola mphamvu zoipa kutenga malo m'mutu mwanu. Dziwani kuti simungakhale wina ndipo sangakhale inu. Ndiko kukongola kwa munthu payekha. Muyenera kukondedwa ndi kukondweretsedwa chifukwa chokhala yemwe muli. 

9. Mudzafuna kukhala nokha 

Moyo ukangonyengedwa sudzakhalanso momwe unalili. Nthawi zambiri udzakhala wekha. Udzapewa kucheza ndi anzanu chifukwa sudziwa momwe udzayankhire mafunso awo okhudza kutha kwa ukwati. Udzakana kuchoka panyumba pako. Thandizani kusungulumwa mukatha kutha kwa ukwati mwa kupeza thandizo kuchokera kwa anzanu ndi abale anu.

Mudzakhala osungulumwa, koma apa ndi pamene mudzapezekanso. Mutha kubwereranso kumasewera akale. Mutha kuwonera makanema omwe mumakonda kwambiri. Mutha kuyamba kugwira ntchito. Yoga, masewera olimbitsa thupi, Zumba, kapena chilichonse chomwe chimakuthandizani kuti mukhale bwino. Koma ngati simungathe kupirira kusungulumwa, chonde funsani akatswiri. 

10. Mudzakhala ndi nthawi yovuta kuphunzira kudaliranso 

Mukadutsa mu magawo omwe ali pamwambapa a malingaliro pambuyo poti mwanyengedwa, mudzakhala ndi mavuto akuluakulu okhulupirirana . Ngati mwabwereranso mu masewera a chibwenzi, mudzakhala ndi vuto lokhulupirira anthu omwe mumakumana nawo. Mudzakayikira zochita zawo, cholinga chawo, khalidwe lawo, komanso ngakhale kutsimikizika kwa mawu awo.

Kwa nthawi yaitali, zidzakhala zovuta kuti mukhulupirire aliyense. Mudzakayikira ngati mudzakhala ndi ubale wabwino ndi wachikondi. Maganizo otere akachitiridwa chinyengo ndi achibadwa. Ngati muli pa nthawi ino, tengani nthawi yonse yomwe mukufuna kukonza ubale wanu ndi dziko lapansi. Kupatula apo, chidaliro chanu chidasweka kamodzi. Palibe amene ayenera kukuthamangitsani, kukukakamizani, kapena kukukakamizani kuti muziwakhulupirira posachedwa. 

11. Mudzamvanso mphamvu

Landirani ndikuwonetsani momwe mukumvera mutanyengedwa mwanjira yoyenera ndipo mudzapeza kuwala kumapeto kwa msewu. Mudzamvanso wamphamvu. Mudzagwanso m'chikondi . Mudzalimbana nazo. Pakapita nthawi, mudzachira. Mudzasiya kusamala za munthu amene anakupyozani mu zonsezi. Chomwe muyenera kuchita ndikudzidalira nokha. Pomaliza pake mudzazindikira kuti munthu m'modzi sangathe kulamulira chimwemwe chanu.

Pamene ndinali kulimbana ndi malingaliro amenewo nditanyengedwa, ndinatembenukira kwa Harry Potter kwambiri. Mawu a Albus Dumbledore anali sitepe yoyamba yomwe ndinatenga kuti ndikhale bwino. Anati, “Chimwemwe chingapezeke ngakhale nthawi yamdima kwambiri, ngati munthu akumbukira kuyatsa nyali.” Moyo udzapitirira kukuponyerani zinthu zozungulira. Ndi udindo wanu kufunafuna kuwala, ndipo pamapeto pake mukhale ndi chiyembekezo, chiyembekezo, komanso chisangalalo.

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Mwauzidwa (kapena mwapeza) chowonadi chophwanya moyo. Mukukumana ndi kamvuluvulu wamalingaliro pakadali pano. Mwakwiya mphindi ina ndikuphwanya ina. Muzithana ndi maganizo anu mwanzeru. Gwirani ntchito mwa iwo. Zindikirani kuti maganizo anu ndi abwino. Bwererani ndi kusakhulupirika. Chinthu chotsatira chofunika kuchilitso ndicho kusadziimba mlandu chifukwa cha zochita za munthu wina. Landirani izo.

Vomerezani kuti mwaperekedwa. Uzani mnzanu wapamtima za izi. Pitani kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo. Ku Bonobology, timapereka thandizo la akatswiri kudzera mu gulu lathu la alangizi ovomerezeka omwe angakuthandizeni kuyamba njira yopita kuchireni. Pangani thanzi lanu la maganizo kukhala chinthu chofunika kwambiri. Dzizungulireni ndi anthu abwino ndipo musamachite zinthu monyanyira chifukwa cha malingaliro anu okhwima.

Ibibazo

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