Kukonda Mabomba Vs Chidwi Chenicheni: Njira 8 Zowasiyanitsa

Tangoganizani kukumana ndi munthu amene amakukondani, kukuyamikirani, ndi kukuyamikirani. Zimakupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu wofunidwa komanso wofunidwa. Machitidwe ngati moyo wawo wonse amazungulira inu. Zingamveke ngati nthano yachitika. Pafupifupi ngati mwapeza bwenzi langwiro. Lingaliro la kuchotsedwa kumapazi lakhala lolingaliridwa kwambiri kotero kuti mphepo yamkuntho yachikondi imakupangitsani kumva ngati munthu wamwayi padziko lapansi. Mpaka china chake chitayamba kumva bwino kapena kuthamanga kwaubwenzi kumayamba kukhala kolemetsa kwambiri. Ndipamene kumvetsetsa kuphulitsa kwachikondi motsutsana ndi kusiyana kwenikweni komwe kumakhala kofunikira paumoyo wanu wam'malingaliro. 

Ngati mwangoyamba kumene chibwenzi ndi munthu ndikuganiza kuti njira yonse yokumana, chibwenzi, ndi kugwa mchikondi zikuchitika pa liwiro la mphezi ndipo zikukusiyani mukumva ngati mukugwiriridwa kapena kutengerapo mwayi, mutha kukhala kale mumpikisano wa bomba lachikondi. Kuti muthe kulamuliranso zinthu, muyenera kumvetsetsa kuti kuphulitsa kwachikondi kuli chiyani, momwe kumasiyana ndi kugwirizana kwenikweni kapena chikondi chenicheni, ndi momwe mungathanirane nazo popanda kutengeka ndi mnzanu.

Tabwera kuti tikuwonetseni za kuphulitsa kwachikondi kapena kugawanika kwa chidwi chenicheni, mogwirizana ndi akatswiri azamisala. Jayant Sundaresan (Masters in Applied Psychology), yemwe amagwira ntchito yopereka upangiri pazinthu zingapo za ubale monga kusokonekera kwa kulumikizana, kasamalidwe ka ziyembekezo, kusakhulupirika, kupatukana ndi kusudzulana. 

Kodi Mabomba Achikondi Ndi Chiyani? 

Kukonda bomba ndi chiwonetsero chambiri cha chikondi ndi chidwi, chomwe nthawi zambiri chimagwiritsidwa ntchito kuwongolera kapena kusokoneza wina pachibwenzi. Poganizira kuti mawu osonyeza chikondi ndi chikondi komanso chisamaliro ndi chisamaliro ndi zachilendo muubwenzi, kuti muthe kuzindikira ngati zomwe mukukumana nazo ndi kuphulitsa kwachikondi kapena kulumikizana kwenikweni, ndikofunikira kuthana ndi funso: Kodi kuphulitsa kwachikondi kumawoneka bwanji? Zitha kuwoneka ngati 

• Kuyamikira kosalekeza
• Manja akulu
• Kutumizirana mameseji pafupipafupi
• Kulengeza za chikondi koyambirira
• Kunena zinthu monga, “Ndiwe mnzanga wapamtima,” m’masiku oŵerengeka a msonkhano

Mawu ndi zochita izi zingamveke zachikondi, koma zikhoza kukhala mbendera zofiira, makamaka ngati sizikugwirizana ndi kutalika kapena kuya kwa chiyanjano. Pochilongosola kukhala “chofulumira kwambiri,” Jayant akuti, “Kuphulitsa mabomba mwachikondi kumaphatikizapo kuphulitsa wokondedwayo ndi chikondi chochuluka m’magawo oyamba a chibwenzicho. 

Psychology kumbuyo kwa bomba lachikondi

Ngakhale kuphulitsa kwachikondi kumakhala koledzeretsa komanso kosangalatsa poyamba, nthawi zambiri kumabisa zolinga zobisika zowongolera kapena kupanga kudalira. M'malo mwake, chizoloŵezi ichi chimakhazikika kusokoneza maganizo. Jayant anati: “Cholingacho chimayamba kukopeka ndi kukondedwa, zomwe zimachititsa kuti kukhale kovuta kuzindikira kuti munthuyo akulakwitsa.” Nthawi zambiri iyi ndi njira yomwe imagwiritsidwa ntchito ndi-koma osati kwa-anthu omwe ali ndi zizolowezi zamatsenga, ndipo amayendetsedwa ndi: 

• Kufunika kulamulira: Munthu atha kuyamba kukonda kuphulitsa mabomba kuti akutsogolereni, kukupangitsani kumva ngati simungathe kukhala popanda chilolezo chawo.
• Kutetezeka: Nthawi zambiri, munthu amene amakuphani ndi chikondi amakhala ndi nkhawa kwambiri ndipo amagwiritsa ntchito ubalewo kuti atsimikizire kuti ali wofunika.
• Mphamvu zamagetsi: Pokupangani bwino, amadziyika okha kuti ndi omwe akuwongolera, ndiye kuti kuphulika kwachikondi kukazilala, mumasiyidwa kuthamangitsa kulumikizana komwe mudakhala nako.

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N’chifukwa chiyani anthu amakopeka ndi mabomba achikondi?

Chifukwa chiyani kuli kovuta kuzindikira kuphulitsa kwachikondi ndi kusiyana kwa chikondi chenicheni? N’chifukwa chiyani munthu wina amakukondani ndi kukuchititsani mantha? N'chifukwa chiyani kuli kovuta kuzindikira mbendera zofiira zomwe zikukuyang'anitsitsani? Chabwino, ndikosavuta kugwa chifukwa cha kuphulitsa kwachikondi chifukwa kumadzetsa chikhumbo chanu chachilengedwe cha chikondi, kutsimikizika, ndi kulumikizana. Ndiwe munthu-ndani sangakopeke ndi munthu yemwe akuwoneka kuti amakukondani komanso amakukondani mopanda malire? Ichi ndichifukwa chake:

• Zimamveka ngati nthano: Chikondi cha kamvuluvulu ndi choledzeretsa. Wina akakuonetsani chidwi, zimakhala ngati mukupeza nkhani yachikondi yomwe mumayilakalaka
• Ndi kuyankha kwachilengedwe: Mwamaganizo, ubongo wanu umakhala ndi waya kuti uyankhe ku chikondi. Mukaphulitsidwa ndi chikondi, thupi lanu limatulutsa dopamine ndi oxytocin, mankhwala omwe amakupangitsani kukhala okondwa komanso ogwirizana ndi munthu wina.
• Kusatetezeka kumachita mbali: Ngati mukukumana ndi mavuto m’moyo—monga ngati kutha kwa banja—kapena kulimbana ndi mavuto ngati kudziyang'anira pansi, chikondi ndi chisamaliro chonsecho chingamve ngati kutsitsimula kwatsopano komwe kumakupangitsani kudzimva bwino

Jayant anati: “Chikondi chikayamba kuyambika, chimachititsa kuti munthu ayambe kulandira mphotoyo, ndipo zimenezi zimachititsa kuti munthu azikukondani kwambiri.

Kodi Chidwi chenicheni ndi Chisamaliro N'chiyani? 

Kuti muthe kupeza yankho la funso lakuti, “Kodi ndi kuphulitsa mabomba kwa chikondi kapena chidwi chenicheni?”, muyenera kudziwa mmene wotsirizirayo amaonekera muubwenzi wokulirapo wachikondi, chifukwa chakuti chikondi, chikondi, ndi chisamaliro n’zofunika kwambiri pa ubwenzi uliwonse wapamtima pakati pa anthu aŵiri. Komabe, kuphulika kwachikondi motsutsana ndi kusiyana kwenikweni kwa chidwi kumawonekera momwe zinthu izi zimawonekera. 

Kulumikizana kwenikweni kumapitilira kumanja kwakukulu kapena mawu achikondi. Pano, malingaliro a munthu pa inu akuwonekera m'zochita zazing'ono, zosasinthasintha zomwe zimakupangitsani kumva kuti mumawonedwa, kuti ndinu wofunika, ndi wothandizidwa. Pamene wina amakukondanidi, zochita zake zimagwirizana ndi mawu awo. Izi ndi zomwe zikuwoneka:

• Amamvetsera mwachidwi: Wokondedwa samangomva; amamvetsera moona mtima. Amakumbukira zinthu zing'onozing'ono zomwe mumanena, kuchokera ku khofi yomwe mumakonda mpaka tsiku lanu lantchito, ndipo amabwera pambuyo pake kuti asonyeze kuti akumvetsera.
• Iwo amathandizira kukula kwanu: Sakuwopsezedwa ndi zokhumba zanu kapena kudziyimira pawokha. M’malo mwake, amasangalala ndi zimene mwachita bwino ndipo amakulimbikitsani kuti mukwaniritse zolinga zanu, ngakhale zitakhala kuti muzikhala kutali. 
• Amalemekeza malire anu: Ngati kugwirizana kuli koona, simudzamva kutsekeredwa kapena kuthedwa nzeru. M'malo mwake, munthu amene muli naye adzamvetsetsa kuti ndinu munthu wanu komanso malire anu. Adzalemekeza kusowa kwanu kwa malo, kulemekeza malingaliro anu, ndipo sadzakukakamizani kuchita chilichonse chomwe simukumasuka nacho
• Iwo ndi osasinthasintha: Munthu amene amakukondani moona mtima adzaonekera pamene akunena, kusunga malonjezo, ndi kutsimikizira mwa zochita zawo kuti mukhoza kudalira iwo. 
• Pali mgwirizano wapamtima: Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zomveka bwino za chidwi chenicheni ndi ubwenzi wapamtima. Munthu amene muli naye pachibwenzi kapena amene ali naye pachibwenzi adzatenga nthawi kuti amvetse zomwe mukumvera, mantha anu, ndi maloto anu, ndikupanga malo otetezeka omwe mungathe kugawana nawo popanda kuwopa kuweruzidwa kapena kunyozedwa. 
• Amatsimikizira malingaliro anu: Pamene malingaliro a munthu pa inu ali enieni, sangakane maganizo anu. Ngakhale ngati maganizo anuwo akuwapangitsa kumva kukhala osamasuka, iwo amavomereza mwa kunena mawu onga akuti, “Ndikumvetsa chifukwa chake mukumva motero,” kapena “Si bwino kukwiyitsidwa—tiyeni tikambirane.”
• Pali njira yabwino yothetsera kusamvana: Ubale uliwonse umakhala ndi kusagwirizana, koma wokondana naye amakumana ndi kusamvana mwaulemu. Cholinga chawo ndi kuthetsa nkhani m'malo mopambana mikangano

Chifukwa chiyani chidwi chenicheni chimamveka mosiyana

Ndikosavuta kusokoneza chisangalalo chosakhalitsa ndi chisamaliro chenicheni, makamaka mu magawo oyambirira a chiyanjano. Koma chidwi chenicheni chimakhala ndi khalidwe lapadera—chimamveka chokhazikika, chokhazikika, komanso chotetezeka. Umu ndi momwe mungadziwire kusiyana kwake:

• Amakukondani: Wokondedwa wanu amatenga nthawi kuti aphunzire zomwe zimakupangitsani kukhala chokopera, zomwe mumakonda, zomwe mumakonda, zomwe mumakonda komanso zomwe mumayendera, osati zinthu zapamwamba zokha.
• Amakulemekezani chifukwa cha zomwe muli: Sayesa kukusinthani kapena kukupangani kukhala munthu wina. M’malo mwake, amakulandirani ndi mphamvu zanu zonse ndi zolakwa zanu zonse.
• Amakupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu otetezeka: Paubwenzi wozikidwa pa ubale weniweni pakati pa anthu awiri, simuopa kuweruzidwa, kugwiriridwa, kapena kusiyidwa. M'malo mwake, mumamasuka kukhala nokha

Kukonda Mabomba Vs Chidwi Chenicheni: Njira 8 Zofotokozera Kusiyana 

Tsopano popeza tamvetsetsa momwe kuphulitsa kwachikondi ndi chisamaliro chenicheni kumawonekera, tiyeni tiwonenso funso lofunikira lomwe lilipo: mungadziwe bwanji ngati mukukumana ndi kuphulitsa kwachikondi kapena chidwi chenicheni? Pali zolembera zambiri zomwe zingakuthandizeni kusiyanitsa ziwirizi koma chodziwika kwambiri ndichakuti mukamaphulitsidwa ndi chikondi, ubalewo umakhala wabwino kwambiri kuti usakhale wowona koma umakupangitsani kukhala osakhazikika komanso osamasuka. 

Jayant akufotokoza kuti: “Cholinga cha kuphulitsa mabomba mwachikondi ndicho kuchititsa wolandirayo kudzimva kuti ali ndi ngongole. Izi zitha kuwonekera m'makhalidwe otsatirawa omwe sanawonekere maubale abwino yomangidwa pa kulumikizana kolimba:

1. Liwiro laubwenzi

Jayant akuti, "Ngati mukuganiza ngati ndi kuphulitsa kwachikondi kapena chidwi chenicheni, onani ngati ubale ukuyenda mofulumira kwambiri. Mu ubale wabwino, anthu amatenga nthawi kukulitsa kulumikizana kwawo ndikulola kuti zinthu zipite patsogolo. Komabe, mukamaphulitsidwa ndi chikondi, zonse zimamveka ngati mutu ndikuthamangira. Ngati unansi weniweni uli chakudya chabwino, kumene maphunziro aliwonse amasangalatsidwa asanapitirire ku ina, kuphulitsa kwachikondi kuli ngati chakudya chilichonse chofulumira. Imeneyi ndi imodzi mwa njira zosavuta zosiyanitsira kuphulitsa kwachikondi ndi chisamaliro chenicheni.”

Munthu amakukondani chifukwa akufuna kuti muwapangire bwino. Akupanga kumverera kodalira mkati mwanu komwe kumakupangitsani kumva ngati simungathe kugwira ntchito popanda iwo. Nthawi zonse khulupirirani matumbo anu ndi intuition. Ngati nthawi iliyonse mumadzifunsa kuti, "Kodi kuphulika kwachikondi kumawoneka bwanji?", Kenako khalani ndi kamphindi kuti muime ndikulingalira momwe ubalewo umakupangitsani kudzimva nokha. 

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2. Chisonkhezero chaubwenzi

Jayant akufotokoza kuti, "Paubwenzi wabwino, wokondedwa wanu amakukondani popanda cholinga chilichonse kapena zolinga zobisika. Safuna kukuyang'anirani, kusintha umunthu wanu, kapena kukupatsani mphamvu. kulimbana ndi mphamvu mu ubale. Wowombera wachikondi ali ndi zomwe akufuna. Ndinu cholinga chawo basi.

Iwo ali ndi zolinga zoonekeratu zobisika—choyamba ndicho kukufunani ndipo chachiwiri n’kukunyengererani kuti apeze phindu kapena kuti zinthu ziwayendere bwino kwa nthawi yonse imene iwo akufuna.

3. Manja akulu motsutsana ndi chisamaliro chosasintha

Jayant anati: “Pa mayanjano abwino, kuonetsana chikondi kumakhala kokoma ndiponso kwaubwenzi, koma munthu amene amakuponyerani mwachikondi adzachita zinthu zazikulu kuti akuchotseni.” Zili choncho chifukwa chakuti amafuna kuti muzimva kuti muli ndi mangawa ndipo zimachititsa anthu kuganiza kuti palibe amene ali nawo ndipo palibe amene angakupatseni zimene angathe. 

Kusiyana kosavuta pakati pa kuphulitsa kwachikondi ndi chisamaliro chenicheni ndiko kuti pamene wina amakusamalirani moona mtima, mawu awo a mmene amakuonerani angakhale aang’ono koma adzakhala osasinthasintha. Mwachitsanzo, atha kupanga mwambo kuti akubweretsereni khofi m'mawa uliwonse kapena meseji kuti muyang'ane ngati mwafika kunyumba mutatha usiku kwambiri, mpaka mutha kudalira kuti akuchitireni izi.

Kumbali ina, munthu amakonda kuphulitsa bomba mutha kuwonekera kunja kwa malo anu antchito ndi maluwa, madonati, ndi khofi kwa sabata yolunjika kenako ndikusiya mwadzidzidzi. Kapena akhoza kukutumizirani mameseji nthawi zonse masana mpaka usiku kwa mwezi woyamba kapena iwiri, ndikuyimbanso mpaka pomwe mumayamba kukayikira ngati ali. mzukwa wofewa inu kapena kutha kukhala amene akuwathamangitsa ndi malemba mobwerezabwereza ndi kuyitana pofuna kukhalabe mlingo wa kulankhulana monga kale.      

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4. Kuphatikiza miyoyo vs kukupatulani kwa ena

Mukayamba chibwenzi ndi munthu watsopano, pamene chibwenzi chikupita patsogolo, mumaphatikizana ndi moyo wa wina ndi mzake. Mumakumana ndi anzanu nthawi ina ndikuwadziwitsa anu. Kenako, bwerani kukakumana ndi abale, makolo. Kukhala gawo la gulu la anzawo. Komabe, pamene chikondi chikuwomberedwa muubwenzi wachikondi, mudzadzipeza kuti mwadzipatula—monga ngati kuti dziko lanu lonse latha kwa munthu mmodzi yekha. 

Jayant anati: “Imodzi mwa njira zodziwikiratu zodziwira ngati ndi kuphulitsa kwachikondi kapena chisamaliro chenicheni ndicho kuona ngati munthu amene muli naye wakusungani m’chipinda chagalasi. watsekeredwa muubwenzi. Adzakuchotsani kudziko lakunja, kwa anzanu ndi achibale anu.”

Ngati anzanu akudandaula kuti simucheza nawonso kapena mukumva ngati simungathe kukhalapo kwa anzanu ndi achibale anu ngakhale mutafuna kukhala, ndiye mbendera yofiira yonyezimira. Munthu amene amakukondanidi sangakutsekereni m’khola. Iwo angafune kuti mukhale ndi moyo wanueni. Iwo angakuuzeni kuti tulukani, mukakumane ndi anzanu, ndi kukasangalala, ndipo musamadziimbe mlandu. 

5. Malo vs kusuta

Kudabwa, "Kodi ndi chikondi chophulitsa mabomba kapena malingaliro enieni omwe mukukumana nawo?" Yankho lingapezeke mu kuchuluka kwa malo omwe muli nawo kuti mukhale munthu wanu. Jayant akuti, "Woponya mabomba achikondi nthawi zambiri amakhala munthu wamatsenga yemwe amafuna kuti chilichonse chizikhazikika pa iwo. kukumana ndi narcissist, mungadzipeze kuti akukuvutitsani ndi kudzimva kukhala wolemetsedwa ndi kufunikira kwawo chisamaliro, makamaka kumayambiriro kwa chibwenzi. 

“Mukapanda kukhala nawo kwa kanthaŵi kochepa, amadabwa kuti mukuchita chiyani iwo kulibe.” Amayang’ana foni yanu, kufufuza kumene muli, ndi kukufunsani za kumene muli. Kumbali ina, muubwenzi womangidwa pa chisamaliro chenicheni ndi malingaliro, muli ndi malo oti mukhale munthu wanu, ndikuchita zofuna zanu, popanda kudziimba mlandu. Zili choncho chifukwa unansi wotero umamangidwa pamaziko odalirika ndi otetezeka.   

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6. Malire kapena kusowa kwake

Kuwombera kwina kofunikira kwachikondi vs kusiyana kwenikweni kwachikondi ndikuti wophulitsa wachikondi salemekeza zinsinsi ndi malire. Adzasokoneza malo anu nthawi zonse ndipo adzakhumudwa mukayika malire ndikudzipatula nokha. Pamene kuli kwakuti munthu amene amakukondani moona mtima adzalemekeza malire anu ndi zolephera zanu, khalani womasuka kukambirana za zomwe inu muli nazo kapena zomwe simukumasuka nazo, ndipo ganizirani iwo posankha momwe amachitira ndi inu. 

7. Kukhulupirira motsutsana ndi kugwiritsa ntchito kusatetezeka kwanu motsutsana nanu

Kuti muthe kuzindikira kuphulika kwachikondi vs kusiyana kwenikweni kwa chidwi, muyenera kuyang'ana zomwe zili kudalira ubale. “Kukhulupirirana pakati pa okondedwa kumalimbikitsa chiwopsezo ndipo kumakupatsani mphamvu yofotokozera zofooka zanu, zowawa, mantha, ndi zinsinsi zanu chifukwa mukudziwa kuti sizidzagwiritsidwa ntchito motsutsana nanu,” akutero Jayant. 

Ngati muli ndi mnzanu amene amagwiritsa ntchito zofooka zanu motsutsana nanu, mwina kukunyengererani kapena kukupangitsani kuti mukhale odziimba mlandu, ndiye tiuzeni: Kodi ndi chikondi chophulitsa mabomba kapena chisamaliro chenicheni? Chabwino, palibe-brainer. Ngati abweretsa zinthu zomwe zimagawidwa pachiwopsezo popanda chilolezo ndikuzigwiritsa ntchito kuti zikupwetekeni, ndi njira yankhanza komanso yoyipa yopotoza ndikuwongolera nkhaniyo.

Munthu weniweni sangachite zimenezo. Amalemekeza mfundo yakuti munawakhulupirira mokwanira kuti muwamasukire ndipo musamauze zinthu zomwe munagawana nawo pokhapokha ngati mukufuna kukambirana nawo.

8. Kuwombera kwachikondi vs kusiyana kwenikweni kwa chidwi kumakhala mu mphamvu zamagetsi

Jayant akuti, "Ubwenzi wopanda thanzi womangidwa pamaziko a kuphulitsa kwachikondi nthawi zonse umadziwika ndi kusokonekera. mphamvu zamphamvu. Pachimake chake, bomba lachikondi limayang'ana maubwenzi ngati masewera a chess. Amafuna kuti ayang'ane nawo bwenzi lawo powalamulira. Kusamala kumapita patsogolo pomwe cholinga cha kuphulitsa kwachikondi chikagonja. ”

Zoonadi, sizili choncho pamene anthu aŵiri amene amasamalirana moona mtima asonkhana pamodzi kuti amange unansi wozikidwa pa kulemekezana, chikondi ndi kumvetsetsana. Zikatero, ubalewo ndi mgwirizano wa anthu ofanana. Zoonadi, pangakhale nthaŵi pamene mnzako wina amapereka zambiri kuposa mnzake. Komabe, kusinthaku sikunakhazikitsidwe mwala ndipo kumakhala kofanana - pomwe m'modzi amawonetsa mnzake akafuna. 

Koma sizili choncho pamene mukuphulitsidwa ndi chikondi. Wowombera wachikondi akakulowetsani, amatha kuwongolera nkhani zaubwenzi ndikuwongolera momwe angafunire. Simungachitire mwina koma kupitiriza, kwa utali wonse umene mungathe—zimene nthaŵi zambiri zimaposa mphamvu zanu zamaganizo.  

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Zoyenera Kuchita Ngati Mukuomberedwa Mabomba Achikondi

Kuwombera kwachikondi kumatha kukhala kosokoneza komanso kolemetsa. Chimene chimayamba ngati chosangalatsa chodzaza ndi chidwi ndi chikondi posakhalitsa chimasanduka maloto owopsa omwe moyo wanu wonse umachokera ku ubale wanu. Mukangotenga ndalama zambiri mwa mnzanuyo, amayamba kuchoka, ndikukupangitsani kuthamangitsa kutsimikiziridwa kwawo ndikumverera ngati mulibe phindu popanda izo. 

Kuzindikira mbendera zofiira musanalowe mwakuya kwambiri mumayendedwe ophulitsa achikondi oganiza bwino, kutsika mtengo, ndikutaya ndiye kubetcha kwanu kopambana podziteteza ku kukhumudwa kwa moyo wonse. Ngati kulimba kwaubwenzi kukuwoneka bwino kwambiri kuti sikungakhale kowona, kapena mukuwona zolinga zobisika, muyenera kuchitapo kanthu kuti muteteze malingaliro anu. Umu ndi momwe:

1. Zindikirani zizindikiro za kuphulitsa kwachikondi

Njira yoyamba yodzitetezera ndiyo kuvomereza kuti mwina mukukumana ndi kuphulitsidwa kwachikondi. Nazi zitsanzo zapamwamba za kuphulitsa kwachikondi zomwe muyenera kuziwona ngati mbendera zofiira za ubale wapoizoni, wosokoneza maganizo pakupanga: 

• Kukuyamikirani kwambiri 
• Zolengeza zachikondi zisanakwane
• Kukambirana za ukwati, kukhalira limodzi, kapena “tsogolo” lanu limodzi musanadziwane moona mtima
• Kulankhulana kwakukulu - kulemberana mameseji kosalekeza, kuyimba foni, kapena kuwonekera mosadziŵika
• Kusokoneza maganizo monga kulakwa inu chifukwa chopempha malo

Jayant akulangiza kuti: “Kuphulitsa mabomba mwachikondi nthaŵi zonse kumakhala koopsa. Chofunika kwambiri, ziribe kanthu momwe zimawonekera kukhala zokopa kwambiri kuchokera kwa munthu yemwe mumamukonda, ngati matumbo anu akuwuzani kuti chinachake chikulakwika, mvetserani. 

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Momwe Mungachepetsere Chibwenzi Ngati Chikuyenda Mothamanga Kwambiri

2. Chepetsani zinthu

Kodi kukonda mabomba kumawoneka bwanji? Monga zambiri zikuchitika posachedwa kwambiri. Mukayamba kuzindikira izi, ndikofunikira kuti muzitha kuyang'anira momwe zinthu zilili ndipo musalole kuti wina akuthamangitseni zisankho kapena zomwe simunakonzekere. Umu ndi momwe:

• Khazikitsani malire za kuchuluka kwa nthawi imene mumalankhulirana kapena kuchuluka kwa nthawi imene mumathera limodzi
• Kanizani mwaulemu kukambirana za malonjezano aakulu ngati mukuona mwamsanga
• Bwererani m'mbuyo ngati mukufunikira kunena mawu onga akuti, "Ndikusangalala kwambiri kukudziwani, koma ndimakonda kuchita zinthu mwachangu kuti tonse tizikhala omasuka."

Jayant anati: “Izi sizikutanthauza kuseŵera movutikira, koma kudzipatulira nthaŵi yowona ngati mukuyenerana popanda kuda nkhaŵa.

3. Khalanibe wodziimira

Oponya mabomba achikondi amayesa kukupatulani kwa anzanu, abale, kapena zomwe mumachita nthawi zonse. Ngati mukuona ngati munthu amene muli naye waposa moyo wanu wonse, musagonje. Tetezani ufulu wanu polumikizana ndi othandizira anu ndikuyang'ana zolinga zanu.

Khalani ndi nthawi yocheza ndi okondedwa omwe angapereke malingaliro awo pazochitikazo. Chitani nawo zokonda, ntchito, ndi zinthu zina zomwe zimakupangitsani kuti mukhale odziwika kunja kwa ubale wanu. Koposa zonse, kumbukirani kuti chikondi chenicheni sichimafuna kuti musiye mbali zina za moyo wanu. 

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zoopsa 9 Zogwera M'chikondi Mofulumira Kwambiri Ndi Momwe Mungasiyire

4. Dzitetezeni m'maganizo

Kuwombera kwachikondi kumakhala kothandiza kwambiri chifukwa kumapangitsa kudalira kwamalingaliro, komwe mumayamba kulakalaka chidwi ndi chikondi cha munthu wina. Ndi kudalira uku komwe wophulitsa wachikondi pambuyo pake adzagwiritsa ntchito masuku pamutu kuti akuponderezeni kapena kukulamulirani. Ngati mukupeza kuti mukugwera m'machitidwe osayenera monga kuyang'ana foni yanu nthawi zonse kuti muwone ngati adatumizirana mameseji kapena kusiya ntchito kapena nthawi yokhala ndi abwenzi ndi abale kuti mukhale nawo, kapena kuwaganizira mozama, muyenera kubwerera m'mbuyo ndikudziteteza m'malingaliro. 

Dzikumbutseni kuti chikondi chopatsa thanzi sichiri chopambanitsa; ndi za bata ndi kusasinthasintha. Kenako, yesetsani kuthetsa machitidwe osayenera omwe mungakhale mukugweramo asanayambe kusanduka chizoloŵezi choipa chomwe chimakhala chovuta kuchokapo. 

Ngati mukuvutikira kupeza njira yopulumukira, zomwe zikuyembekezeredwa kuti kuphulitsa kwachikondi kumatha kuwoneka ngati mankhwala-oledzeretsa komanso osokoneza bongo, ganizirani kupeza chithandizo cha katswiri wa zamaganizo. Katswiri waluso angakuthandizeni kuzindikira machitidwe osayenera, kumvetsetsa chifukwa chake mumakopeka nawo, ndi kukupatsani zida zodzitetezera. Ngati mukusowa thandizo, alangizi aluso komanso odziwa zambiri Gulu la Bonobology zili pano chifukwa cha inu. 

5. Konzekerani kuchokapo

Ngati kuphulitsa kwachikondi kukupitilirabe ngakhale atakhala ndi malire, kapena ngati munthuyo ayamba kulamulira, wopondereza, kapena wankhanza, ndi nthawi yoti muganizire. kusiya ubale. Osamamatira ku mtundu wabwino kwambiri wamasiku oyamba aubwenzi ndikupirira nkhanza kapena kupusitsidwa ndi chiyembekezo kuti mnzanuyo abwerera momwe analili kale. Sizichitika. Dzikumbutseni kuti mukuyenera kukhala ndi munthu amene amakukondani moona mtima komanso amakuderani nkhawa komanso amakulemekezani. 

Mukangoganiza zothetsa chibwenzicho, lankhulani ndi mnzanuyo modekha komanso momveka bwino. Konzekerani kuti kuzungulira kwa bomba lachikondi kuyambikenso mukaganiza zochoka. Kuti musagonjetsenso mobwerezabwereza, muyenera kukumbukira zizindikiro zonse zofiira zomwe mwina mwaphonya kapena kunyalanyaza nthawi yoyamba ndikuzikumbutsani kuti mukudziwa kale momwe script iyi imachitira, kotero palibe chifukwa chopatsa mwayi wina.  

Maganizo Final

Kuphulitsidwa kwachikondi kungakhale kosokoneza, koma mwa kuzindikira khalidwelo ndi kuchitapo kanthu kuti muike malire, mungadziteteze ku kuvulazidwa kwa maganizo. Jayant anati: “Chikondi chenicheni chimakhala ngati madzi abata, osati mphepo yamkuntho. Chikondi chabwino chimatenga nthawi kuti chikule—chimakhudza chikondi chokhazikika, osati champhamvu kwambiri.

Zizindikiro 9 Zakusokoneza Mopanda Ubwino Mu Ubale

Malangizo 8 Akatswiri Oti Mupulumuke Pamavuto a Ukwati

Zinthu 11 Zomwe Zimachitika Popanda Kukhulupirirana

Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.