Pazifukwa zosiyanasiyana muubwenzi, ngati chikondi ndi mgwirizano zimaganiziridwa kuti ndizofunikira, mkwiyo umawonedwa ngati wopanda pake. Ndicho chifukwa chake maanja ambiri amangokhalira kufunafuna yankho la momwe angaletsere mkwiyo mu chiyanjano. Mkwiyo ndi gawo lachilengedwe komanso losapeŵeka la mgwirizano uliwonse wachikondi. Anthu aŵiri akamagawana moyo wawo moyandikana kwambiri, pamakhala mikangano ndi kusagwirizana.
Pamene mikhalidwe yoteroyo yabuka, cholinga chiyenera kukhala pakuchita nawo m’njira yoyenera m’malo moumitsa malingaliro anu chifukwa cha mantha akuti “mkwiyo ukuwononga ubale wanga”. Panthawi imodzimodziyo, ndikofunika kwambiri kukumbukira njira yanu yosonyezera ukali umenewu. Ngati simungathe kuugwira mtima muubwenzi, zingawononge tsogolo lanu limodzi.
Mkwiyo wosathetsedwa m'banja kapena muubwenzi ukhoza kukhala ndi zotsatirapo zovulaza kwambiri kuposa kuutulutsa. Ndicho chifukwa chake mukamayesetsa kulamulira mkwiyo muubwenzi, kuyesetsa kwanu kuyenera kukhala kuukonza bwino osati kuusiya ukhale pansi. Tiyeni tiwone momwe mungachitire zimenezi ndi nzeru zochokera kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo Niki Benjamin (M.Sc Psychology), yemwe anayambitsa Papaya Counselling, yemwe ndi katswiri wothana ndi mavuto monga kuvutika maganizo, nkhawa, zoopsa, CSA, ndi mikangano ya m'banja/pakati pa anthu.
Kodi Ndi Bwino Kukwiya Paubwenzi?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Tisanayambe kumvetsetsa malo a mkwiyo muubwenzi, tiyeni tifufuze tanthauzo lenileni la mkwiyo. Maganizo amenewa nthawi zambiri amamvedwa molakwika ngati malingaliro oipa omwe angawononge ubale wachikondi . Mkwiyo nthawi zambiri umaonedwa ngati wosiyana ndi chikondi. Chikhulupiriro chakuti mkwiyo umawononga ubale nthawi zambiri chimachokera ku lingaliro lakuti mukawonetsa mkwiyo wanu kwa munthu wina, simungamukonde.
Kunena zowona, malingaliro onsewa okhudzana ndi kupsya mtima ndi olakwika. Mkwiyo ndi malingaliro ena aumunthu omwe sangathe kuthetsedweratu. Sizikutanthauza kuti ubwenzi wanu ukhoza kutha, ngati zitatero, palibe amene angapulumuke. Chofunika kwambiri ndi mmene mumaletsera mkwiyo muubwenzi, m’malo moupewa n’komwe.
Malinga ndi nkhani yofufuza ya APA, pali zabwino zina zaukali zomwe zimachitika nthawi yochepa monga kukoka chidwi cha anthu ena kwa ife, kukonza zolakwika zomwe zili padziko lapansi, komanso kulimbana ndi kusalungama. Ngakhale kuti zotsatira zake nthawi yayitali zingakhale zoopsa kwambiri, mkwiyo umatipatsa mphamvu zobwezera. Deta ya APA imati 25% ya zochitika zaukali zimakhudza maganizo obwezera. Ponena za kuthana ndi mkwiyo muubwenzi, nkhani ina yofalitsidwa ndi UC Berkley ikupereka malingaliro awiri oyenera:
- Osadzipanikiza ndi mawu onga akuti “Ndiyenera kuchotsa mkwiyo wanga” kupeŵa mkwiyo
- Tengani pang'onopang'ono mukakwiya. Imani kaye kamphindi, pumirani mozama, ndi kuganizira mmene zinthu zinalili
Pobwerera ku funso lakuti, “Kodi ndi zachilendo kukwiya muubwenzi?”, Niki akuti, “Inde, ndi zachilendo kukwiya muubwenzi koma kutengera pati pa zinthu zosiyanasiyana. Zifukwa monga kusakhulupirika, kutaya chidaliro, kusowa kulankhulana bwino , kusiyana kapena kusalinganika kwa mphamvu kungakhale zifukwa zomveka zokwiyira.”
Ngakhale ndizabwinobwino, zifukwa zimatsimikizira kuti mkwiyo / kuyankha kwanu kuli koyenera. Ngati mukwiya msanga muubwenzi wanu ndi kupsa mtima pa zinthu zing'onozing'ono, sizingakhale bwino kwa aliyense amene akukhudzidwa. Kuti mukhalebe ogwirizana komanso osavulaza, kumvetsetsa momwe mungapewere kupsa mtima muubwenzi ndikofunikira.
Kumvetsetsa zifukwa zokwiyira mu maubwenzi
Komabe, si zifukwa zonse zokwiyira muubwenzi zomwe zimapangidwa zofanana. Katswiri wa zamaganizo Erin Leonard amakhulupirira kuti nthawi zambiri pamakhala mitundu iwiri ya mkwiyo muubwenzi. Mtundu woyamba ndi pamene mnzawo mmodzi amamva kuti sakumvetsedwa bwino, sakunyozedwa, sakumvedwa kapena sakuoneka muubwenzi. Mtundu wachiwiri umachokera ku zinthu zakunja zomwe zimakhudza mnzawoyo.
Mwachitsanzo, Sasha ndi Martin nthawi zambiri ankasemphana maganizo chifukwa ankaona kuti mnzakeyo saona zinthu zofunika kwambiri kwa iye. Anali ndi chizoloŵezi chosawonekera kapena kuchedwa pamasewero ake, zomwe zikutanthauza dziko kwa iye. Zikachitika nthawi zambiri, zimamukwiyitsa kwambiri. Iye ankaona kuti sankaona kuti chinthu chofunika kwambiri kwa iye n’chofunika kwambiri. Kusiyana kwakukulu koteroko kungakhale pakati pa zifukwa zomwe zimachititsa mkwiyo m'mabwenzi.
Nkhani si yakuti mkwiyo unabuka poyamba. Koma chofunika kwambiri ndi mmene mumachitira mukapsa mtima. Ngati Sasha akanachita mopanda nzeru, zingayambitse mavuto ambiri kuposa Martin osapita ku ziwonetsero zake zaluso. Mukaphunzira kulamulira mkwiyo muubwenzi, mukhoza kusintha maganizo anu bwino. Pamene chikondi chimasanduka mkwiyo chifukwa cha kusinthasintha kwa banja lotere, n'zotheka, komanso kofunika, kuthetsa vutolo mofulumira, kuti chikondi ndi kuyandikana zibwezeretsedwe.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zinthu 10 Zomwe Simuyenera Kuuza Mnzanu
Mkwiyo wachiwiri suchokera pa ubale weniweniwo. Mwachitsanzo, Hana ndi Miguel analephera kukwezedwa pantchito, komanso nkhawa yochuluka ya kusamalira ana, nyumba, ndi ntchito zina, zinayambitsa mkwiyo wake. Chizoloŵezi chokalipira pamene zinthu sizikuyenda momwe mukufunira ndi chiwonetsero chowonetsa mkwiyo wanu pa mnzanu ndi ubale wanu.
Izo sizoyenera kapena zathanzi. Popeza kuti zinthu zakunja zimatiyendera bwino nthaŵi zambiri, tonsefe tingagwiritse ntchito malangizo amomwe tingaletsere mkwiyo paubwenzi. Chinsinsi chothetsera mkwiyo ndi chisoni m'njira yosawononga kapena kusokoneza ubale wanu ndikuutenga ngati chizindikiro chomwe chingakuthandizeni kupeza pansi pazovuta zomwe zikuyenera kuthetsedwa.
Ponena za muzu wa mkwiyo ndi kukhumudwa muubwenzi, katswiri wa zamaganizo Kavita Panyam adauza Bonobology kale kuti, "Mavuto a mkwiyo amaonekera m'njira zambiri. Sikuti ndi kufuula kokha kapena kunyoza mawu. Kunyalanyaza malingaliro kungakhalenso njira yodziwira ngati wina ali ndi vuto la mkwiyo. Ngati sakukuthandizani, sasonyeza chithandizo kapena chisamaliro, ndipo sakufuna kulankhula nanu tsiku lililonse, pali mwayi waukulu kuti pali, osachepera, mavuto a mkwiyo wobisika. Kuletsa chete ndi chizindikiro cha mavuto a mkwiyo monga kufuula ndi kufuula."
Momwe Mungalamulire Mkwiyo Muubwenzi - Njira 12 Zothetsera Kupsya mtima
Ngakhale ngati wina avomereza mfundo yakuti n’kwachibadwa kupsa mtima m’chibwenzi, n’zosachita kutsutsa mfundo yakuti ndi malo osasangalatsa kukhalamo. Komanso, mmene maanja ambiri amasonyezera maganizo amenewa ndi zimene zimayambitsa mkwiyo m’banja.
Chofunika kwambiri ndi chakuti mkwiyo pawokha si vuto. Ndi kulephera kulamulira mkwiyo ndi kugawa malire pakati pa kumenyana mwachilungamo muubwenzi ndi kumenyana kotsika komwe kumakhala kovuta. Pamenepo mkwiyo umawononga maubwenzi. Musasonyeze kukhumudwa kwanu muubwenzi mwanjira yoti ipangitse mnzanu wanu kukuzungulirani.
Chofunika ndichakuti chilichonse chomwe chimayambitsa mkwiyo pachibwenzi sichikhala pansi paulamuliro wanu nthawi zambiri. Komabe mfundo yomweyi sikugwiranso ntchito pa zochita zanu. Ndinu 100% oyankha komanso oyankha pazochita zanu ndi machitidwe anu mosasamala kanthu za malingaliro anu. N’chifukwa chake kuphunzira kulamulira mkwiyo m’banja kumakhala kofunika kwambiri.
Ngati mukudabwa kuti, "Kodi ndingasiye bwanji kukwiyira SO wanga nthawi zonse?", Malangizo 12 awa kuti muchepetse mkwiyo wanu adzakuthandizani kukhala okonzeka kuwongolera mkwiyo ndi chisoni muubwenzi wanu:
1. Osalunjika kwa wokondedwa wako
Niki anati: “Osachita kapena kulankhula pamene ukupsa mtima. Dikirani kwa mphindi 20 musanachitepo kanthu. Pumirani mozama ndi kukhala pansi pamalo omasuka. Mukangomva kuti kupuma kwanu kuli bwino, lingaliraninso za mkhalidwe umene unayambitsa mkwiyo wanu.
Zoonadi, pamafunika kudziletsa ndi chizolowezi chochuluka kuti muthe kusunga mkwiyo wanu mkati. Nazi njira zingapo zomwe mungatsatire kuti muyambe:
- Mutha kuyesa njira zosiyanasiyana zochotsera mkwiyo monga kuyenda, kuyimba nyimbo, kuphika, ndi kutuluka kuti mupume mpweya wabwino.
- Dzitalikitseni nokha ku mkhalidwe umene unakukwiyitsani
- Ngati mnzanu akufuna yankho kwa inu nthawi yomweyo, yesani kumupangitsa kuti amvetsetse kuti mukufunikira danga lanu kukonza bwino zinthu
- Ngati mukwiya msanga, zinthu zidzaipiraipira. Kuchita zinthu zomwe zimakubweretserani chisangalalo ndi chisangalalo kungakuthandizeni kukhazikitsa malingaliro anu ndikuwongolera malingaliro anu moyenera.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Momwe Mungalekere Kusunga Chisoni Mu Ubwenzi
2. Kumvetsetsa chifukwa chake mumakwiya
Niki akuwonjezera kuti, “Ngati yankho la zomwe zili pamwambapa ndi inde, lembani mndandanda (nokha) wa chifukwa chomwe mumamvera/mumamvera momwe mumamvera. Werengani mokweza nokha. Kodi zimenezo n’zomveka?” Kuti mukonze mavuto a mkwiyo muubwenzi, choyamba, muyenera kuzindikira zomwe zimakupangitsani kuti mutaye mphamvu zanu zoganiza bwino ndikulankhula zinthu zopweteka kwa mnzanu.
Kuchita mopambanitsa mukakwiyira wokondedwa wanu sikumveka konse. Tonse takhalapo pamene zochita za munthu wina kapena mawu ake zinatiyambitsa mopambanitsa chifukwa chakuti tinaikapo tanthauzo losafunika kwa iwo. Kapena kuwatanthauzira ndi katundu wa tsankho lathu komanso malingaliro omwe tinali nawo kale.
Munthawi ngati izi, kulemba malingaliro anu ndi kuwawerenga mokweza kungakhale njira imodzi yothandiza komanso yopangira kufalitsa mkwiyo. Zimakupatsani mwayi wodzipatula kumalingaliro anu, ndikuziwona mopanda chidwi momwe mungathere. Ngati zifukwazo zikuwonekabe zomveka kwa inu, ndi nthawi yoti mupite nazo kwa wokondedwa wanu ndikuchotsani.
3. Kambiranani ndi bwenzi lanu
Ngakhale zifukwa zanu zokwiyira sizikumveka bwino mutapeza mpata wokonza malingaliro anu, lankhulani ndi mnzanu. Palibe vuto lomwe silingathe kuthetsedwa ndi cholinga choyenera komanso kulankhulana koyenera, chinsinsi cha njira yothetsera mikangano muubwenzi . Koma kutenga sitepe yoyamba ndikutsegula malingaliro anu olakwika ndiye ntchito yeniyeni.
Niki analangiza kuti: “Mufunseni mnzanuyo kuti ndi nthawi iti imene ili yabwino yoti mukambirane naye nkhani yofunika kwambiri. Khalani ndi gawo lanu pokulitsa vuto kapena kuchita zinthu mosasangalatsa. Kupatula apo, ndizomwe zimakhalira kumenyana mwachilungamo muubwenzi.
4. Kulankhulana bwino
Chimodzi mwa zinthu zofunika kwambiri pa nkhani ya “momwe mungalamulire mkwiyo muubwenzi” ndikulankhulana bwino. Mukakwiya komanso mukumva kuwawa, zopinga zolumikizirana zimatha kukulirakulira. Makamaka, ngati mukulankhula kuti mutsimikizire mfundo, kupambana mkangano, kapena kugoletsa ina. “Mukakhala pansi kuti mukambirane, kambiranani mfundo iliyonse ndipo patsa mnzanuyo mwayi wofotokoza mbali yake ya mkanganowo. Aloleni amalize zomwe akunena,” Niki akulangiza.
Mosasamala kanthu za kuchuluka kwa kukhumudwa muubwenzi womwe mukukumana nawo, simunganyalanyaze kuti mukulankhulabe ndi mnzanu, munthu amene mumamukonda kwambiri komanso yemwe ali gawo lalikulu la moyo wanu. Mosasamala kanthu za malingaliro anu, muyenera kuwachitira ulemu. Iwo amafunikira chilichonse, kuphatikiza, kumveka bwino pazomwe zikukusautsani. Kumvetsera mwachidwi ndikusankha mawu anu mosamala ndi chinyengo apa.
5. Fotokozani modekha
Niki anawonjezera kuti: “Nenani zimene simukugwirizana nazo, ngati zilipo, mutangomva mfundo zonse zimene mwalemba. Izi zimakuthandizani kuti muthane ndi kusiyana kwanu modekha, mosonkhanitsidwa, komanso mongoyerekeza ndikugawa zinthu zomwe zingayambitse kusakhazikika. Ngati mukudandaula kuti "mkwiyo ukuwononga ubale wanga" kuzindikira, kusintha kosavuta momwe mumayendera kusagwirizana kungapangitse kusiyana kwakukulu.
Dziperekeni kuti musiye kunena zinthu zopweteka, kugwiritsa ntchito mawu otukwana, kapena kugwiritsa ntchito mawu onyoza mukakangana. Ngati mukuyesera kuletsa mkwiyo muubwenzi wakutali, kukhala chete ndikofunikira kwambiri. Mukangothetsa mtendere, zinthu zingaipire kwambiri. Mukayang'ana bwino momwe mkwiyo umawonongera maubwenzi, awa ndi omwe amachititsa kwambiri. Ngakhale mumadzilola kumva mkwiyo wanu wonse, musawauze mnzanuyo popanda kusokoneza.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Milandu ya Chilakolako - Pamene Mkwiyo Utenga Maganizo!
6. Onaninso momwe akumvera
Kate anali atangozindikira kuti chibwenzi chake, Ronni, adagona ndi mnzake wantchito pomwe awiriwa adapita kukagwira ntchito patatha miyezi ingapo akugwira ntchito kunyumba panthawi ya mliri. Zoonadi, atazindikira zachinyengo, adakwiyira mnzakeyo. Zinapangitsa kukuwa, misozi, zinthu zingapo zitaphwanyidwa mnyumbamo, ndipo foni yake idangotuluka pawindo. Popeza awiriwa ankakhala pamodzi, kuswa nthawi yomweyo ndipo panalibe mwayi.
Ngakhale kuti chimenecho chinali chibadwa choyamba cha Kate, pamene mkwiyo unachepa anaganiza zokhala limodzi ndikugwira ntchito pambuyo pa nkhani yachinyengo . Pambuyo pake, panthawi ya phunziro, katswiri wothandiza anafunsa Kate kuti aganizire ngati pali malingaliro ena omwe akanamuyambitsa tsiku limenelo. Kate, nayenso, sanatuluke panyumba kwa miyezi 10, pokhapokha ngati pakufunikadi.
Dziko lake lonse linali litachepa kwa Ronni. Ubale wina uliwonse - wamunthu kapena waukadaulo - udatumizidwa kumalo enieni. Kenako, kuti Ronni adalumphira pabedi ndi munthu wina pamwayi woyamba kunali kusakhulupirika kosaneneka kwa Kate. Zinali zowawidwa, kusungulumwa, ndi zotsatira za kudzipatula kwanthaŵi yaitali zimene zinayambitsa mkwiyo wake.
Chitsanzo cha Kate chimagwiranso ntchito kwa tonsefe. Mkwiyo nthawi zonse ndi gawo lachiwiri lomwe limatuluka ngati njira yodzitchinjiriza kuti titchinjirize malingaliro athu oyamba omwe angabweretse zofooka zathu. Pa upangiri wonse wa momwe mungaletsere mkwiyo muubwenzi, iyi ingakhale yofunika kwambiri, poganizira momwe anthu ambiri anganyalanyaze izi mosavuta.
7. Mkwiyo wanu ndi wanu
Ziribe kanthu zifukwa zokwiyira mu maubwenzi, muyenera kupeza njira yokhala ndi malingaliro anu. Mkwiyo wosathetsedwa m’banja kapena pachibwenzi ungakhale wolunjika kwa mnzanuyo, koma popeza umachokera kwa inu, umanenanso za mkhalidwe wanu wamaganizo.
Izi sizikutanthauza kuti zodandaula zanu za mnzanuyo ndizosavomerezeka kapena zochita zawo zonse zili zolondola. Iwo akhoza kukhala olakwa. Ngakhale zili choncho, zochita zitha kukhala zawo koma zochita ndi zanu. Ndicho chifukwa chake chinsinsi cha momwe mungaletsere mkwiyo paubwenzi ndi kukhala nawo.
Mukakhala ndi mkwiyo wanu, mutha kudziganizira nokha osati mnzanu. Apanso, izi sizikutanthauza kuti mnzanuyo akulondola ndipo inu mukulakwitsa kapena mosemphanitsa. Lingaliro ndiloti pamene onse awiri akuyang'ana pa udindo wawo pazochitika, amakhala okonzeka kufotokoza maganizo awo momveka bwino ndikugwira ntchito limodzi kuti apeze njira zothetsera mavuto.
8. Yang'anani njira zothetsera
Kodi mungalamulire bwanji mkwiyo muubwenzi? Yankho losavuta ndi kukumbukira kuti mkwiyo suthetsa kalikonse. Ngati zili choncho, zimapangitsa kuti zinthu ziipireipire. Tsopano popeza mwatenga sitepe lina kuti mukhale ndi kupsa mtima muubwenzi, cholinga chake chiyenera kusinthana ndi kuthetsa vuto lomwe layambitsa kukhumudwa.
Izi zimathandiza kwambiri ngati pali mkwiyo wosathetsedwa m'banja kapena muubwenzi. Kapena mukakumana ndi mikangano yofanana mobwerezabwereza . Sophie ndi Tracy onse amagwira ntchito maola ambiri, nthawi zambiri nthawi zosiyanasiyana za tsiku. Sophie ankayembekezera kuti iye ndi mnzake azidya chakudya chimodzi kapena zingapo pamodzi. Tracy ankaganiza kuti n'kosamveka kuyika zofunikira zotere muubwenzi. Kusiyana pang'ono kumeneku, ngakhale kosalekeza, kwa maganizo, kwakhala gwero la mavuto osatha muubwenzi.
ʼNthawi zambiri ndi mikangano yambiri pambuyo pake, iwo anakhala pansi kuti apezedi maziko apakati m’malo moti aliyense amaumirirabe maganizo ake. Patapita nthawi, anaganiza zodyera limodzi chakudya cham'mawa kwa masiku osachepera atatu amlungu. Chakudya chamadzulo, Sophie amapita ndi Tracy, ndipo ngati womalizayo anali waulere, amatha kuluma limodzi mwachangu. Ngati sichoncho, woyambayo sasunga chakukhosi. Mukuwona momwe kusinthira kuyang'ana pakupeza mayankho kungathandizire kuthetsa ngakhale zovuta zomwe zidakhalapo kwanthawi yayitali?
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Njira 10 Zaluso Zothanirana ndi Mwamuna Wokwiya
9. Gwiritsani ntchito mawu akuti 'Ine'
Malangizo awa okhudza momwe mungaletsere mkwiyo muubwenzi ndi njira yowonjezera yopezera mphamvu pa malingaliro anu. Kuti muuze mnzanuyo kuti asinthe maganizo anu popanda kudzudzula kapena kuoneka ngati wotsutsa, ndikofunikira kutsatira mawu akuti 'Ine'. Mukamagwiritsa ntchito mauthenga akuti 'Ine', mumangolankhula za momwe mukuonera zomwe zikuchitika. Ngakhale kuti mawu akuti 'inu' nthawi zambiri amachokera ku malingaliro omwe mukupanga okhudza momwe mnzanuyo amaonera. Umu ndi momwe mungagwiritsire ntchito mawu akuti 'Ine' kuti mukonze mavuto a mkwiyo muubwenzi:
- Nenani kuti “Ndinakhumudwa kuti simunabwere pa nthawi yake” m’malo monena kuti “Nthawi zonse umachedwa.” N’zopanda phindu kuyembekezera chilichonse kuchokera kwa inu”
- “Ndikufuna undiuze zambiri zokhudza moyo wako, undilowetsemo, ndilowetse m’malo monena kuti “Simunandiuze kalikonse za moyo wanu.
Mawu oyamba amatsegula njira zolankhulirana. Lachiwiri limangopangitsa munthu winayo kudziteteza, kukusiyani mumsampha wotsutsana kwambiri womwe sunapite kulikonse. Nkhani yofalitsidwa ndi Boston University imati mauthenga akuti 'Ine' sayenera kukakamiza munthu winayo kukonza vuto lanu ndipo sakuda nkhawa ndi mayankho awo. Ndi njira yopanda chiyembekezo yofotokozera mbali yanu ya nkhaniyi.
10. Lekani kusungira chakukhosi
Kukhululuka muubwenzi kungakhale chida chothandiza kwambiri pothana ndi mkwiyo muubwenzi. Ngati musunga chakukhosi chifukwa cha zochita zakale, zolakwa, ndi zolakwika, mosakayikira mudzadzipeza mukuvutika ndi mkwiyo ndi kupanda chilungamo. Mukathetsa mkangano ndikupita patsogolo, siyani nkhaniyo kapena chochitika chimenecho.
Osamangokhalira kukangana nthawi zonse inu ndi mnzanuyo. "Nanga bwanji nthawi yomwe munaiwala tsiku lathu?" Munandiyimilira pamaso pa anzanga zaka zisanu ndi chimodzi zapitazo. "Mumathera maola ambiri mukuvutitsa ex wanu pawailesi yakanema." Polankhula mobwerezabwereza mawu ngati awa, ndiye kuti simukulola kuti mabala akale achire.
Nthawi iliyonse mukabweretsa nkhani zakale, mudzakhala ndi mkwiyo, zowawa, ndi chisoni zomwe zimagwirizanitsidwa nazo kachiwiri. Zidzangowonjezera mkwiyo umene muli nawo panthawiyo. Kumbali ina, pokhululukira mnzanuyo ndikusiya zomwe zachitika kale moona mtima, mumalimbikitsa malo omwe ndewu iliyonse imakhala mwayi wolimbitsa ubale wanu.
11. Chepetsa mkwiyo ndi nthabwala
Mkwiyo uliwonse ungawoneke wosakhwima komanso wosavuta kuuthetsa ngati mungapeze njira yoti muusekere. Ichi ndichifukwa chake kupepesa ndi njira imodzi yopezera mkwiyo ndi kupsinjika maganizo. Izi zitha kukhala zothandiza makamaka mukakumana ndi mkwiyo wokwiya chifukwa cha zomwe simunakwaniritse muubwenzi kapena mukumva kukhumudwa ndi mnzanu.
Momwemonso, ngati mnzanu akuyesera kugwiritsa ntchito nthabwala kuti akuthandizeni pamene mwakwiya, sewerani malinga ngati nkhaniyo si yaikulu. Komabe, pochita zimenezi, m’pofunika kusiyanitsa mawu achipongwe ndi nthabwala. Ndemanga zonyoza zimangopweteka maganizo ndipo zingapangitse kuti zinthu ziipireipire.
12. Funsani thandizo ngati kuli kofunikira
Ngati simukudziwa momwe mungaletsere mkwiyo muubwenzi, ndipo zikuwononga ubale wanu ndi mnzanu, zikhoza kukhala chizindikiro kuti mukusowa thandizo. Izi ndizofunikira makamaka ngati mumakonda kuchita zinthu mosadziletsa mukakwiya, kuchita zinthu zomwe mumanong'oneza nazo bondo pambuyo pake, kapena kuvulaza SO m'malingaliro kapena mwathupi.
Muzochitika zotere, nkhani za mkwiyo muubwenzi ndi chizindikiro cha mavuto akuya. Zitha kukhala kuyambira kupsinjika maganizo mpaka kusakhazikika kwa banja (panopa kapena m'mbuyomu), nkhani zachuma, kapena ngakhale kuledzera. Katswiri wodziwa bwino ntchito angakuthandizeni kuzizindikira ndikukupatsani njira zoyenera zothanirana ndi vutoli. Ngati mukufuna thandizo loletsa mkwiyo wanu muubwenzi, alangizi aluso komanso odziwa zambiri omwe ali pagulu la Bonobology ali pano kuti akuthandizeni.
Zolozera Mfungulo
- Mkwiyo ndi kutengeka koyenera mu ubale uliwonse ngakhale zotsatira zosalamulirika za ukali siziri
- Ndikofunika kumvetsetsa zomwe zimayambitsa zomwe zimakupangitsani kuti musadzilamulire nokha
- Kulankhulana modekha ndi mwanzeru n'kofunika kwambiri kuti muthe kuthetsa mkwiyo muubwenzi
- Yang'anirani momwe mukudziwonetsera nokha panthawi yomwe mukugunda
- Kugwiritsa ntchito mawu a 'I' ndi nthabwala zopepuka zimatha kuchepetsa kusamvana
- Osasunga chakukhosi kapena zingawonjezere zovuta muubwenzi wanu
Chinsinsi cha momwe mungaletsere mkwiyo paubwenzi ndikusatengeka ndi malingaliro. Yang'anani malingaliro anu okwiya, sefa mawu anu, ndipo yang'anani mkhalidwewo modekha momwe mungathere. M’malo modzifunsa kuti, “Kodi ndingaleke bwanji kundikwiyira SO?”, yesetsani kusonyeza mmene mukumvera, fotokozani maganizo anu modekha, ndipo posakhalitsa, mudzatha kuugwira mtima paubwenzi.
Ibibazo
Inde, kupsa mtima sikwachibadwa kokha m’chibwenzi komanso n’kosapeŵeka. Pamene moyo wanu uli wolumikizana kwambiri ndi munthu wina, zokhumudwitsa pang'ono ndi kusagwirizana panjira kuyenera kuyembekezera. Izi zimakhala gwero la mkwiyo mu maubwenzi.
Mkwiyo ungawononge maubwenzi m’njira zosiyanasiyana. Choyamba, kuwonetsa mkwiyo woyambitsidwa ndi magwero akunja paubwenzi sikwabwino. Chachiwiri, kusalimbana mwachilungamo muubwenzi, kuyankhula zopweteka mukakwiya, kapena kunyoza wokondedwa wanu mwamawu, mwamalingaliro, kapena mwakuthupi kungayambitse vuto losatheka kusinthika kwa banja. Ndipo chachitatu, kusachitapo kanthu ndi kutulutsa mkwiyo kungayambitse kukwiya komwe kumabweretsa mkwiyo muubwenzi.
Kuti muchepetse mkwiyo pachibwenzi, chotsani nokha kwakanthawi, ndipo khalani ndi nthawi yokonza malingaliro anu musanawafotokozere mnzanuyo.
Mukakhala ndi mwayi wosonkhanitsa malingaliro anu, funsani mnzanuyo kuti mukambirane. Fotokozani zakupsa mtima kwanu, koma teroni modekha. Pewani kukuwa ndi kukuwa. Pokambirana, fotokozani zakukhosi kwanu momveka bwino ndipo perekani mwayi kwa mnzanuyo kuti ayankhe. Gwiritsani ntchito mawu akuti 'Ine' pofotokoza zifukwa zakukwiyira ndipo musadulane pakati pa ziganizo.
Kodi Mungatani Ngati Mwamuna Kapena Mkazi Wanu Wanena Zokhumudwitsa?
Njira 15 Zothetsera Mavuto Achibwenzi Popanda Kuthetsa Chibwenzi
Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
