Kodi Muyenera Kukhala pachibwenzi kwanthawi yayitali bwanji musanatenge chinkhoswe

Palibe yankho lomveka bwino la funso lakuti, “Kodi muyenera kukhala pachibwenzi kwa nthawi yayitali bwanji musanakwatire?” Ubale uliwonse ndi wapadera, ndipo nthawi imatha kusiyana kwambiri pakati pa okwatirana. Ngakhale okondedwa ena atha kukhala okonzeka kuyamba chibwenzi pakangopita miyezi yochepa, ena angafunike zaka zakukulira limodzi kuti akonzekere. 

Kutalika kwa nthawi yomwe mumakhala pachibwenzi musanayambe chibwenzi sikofunikira kwenikweni kuposa momwe mumamumvetsetsera bwino mnzanuyo komanso ngati nonse muli ndi masomphenya ofanana a tsogolo lanu. Pomaliza, kudziwa nthawi yoti muchite izi kuyenera kuchokera pakumvetsetsana ndi kukonzekera kudzipereka. Kuti tipeze chidziwitso chochulukirapo pankhaniyi, tidalankhula ndi dokotala wa matenda amisala komanso katswiri wa zamaganizo ku California, Dr. Shefali Batra (MD mu matenda amisala), yemwe ndi katswiri pa uphungu wokhudza kulekana ndi kusudzulana, kusudzulana ndi chibwenzi, komanso nkhani zokhudzana ndi kuyanjana kwa anthu asanakwatirane.

Kodi Muyenera Kukhala pachibwenzi kwanthawi yayitali bwanji musanatenge chinkhoswe

Nthawi yoti munthu ayambe chibwenzi kapena asanakwatirane ndi yaumwini kwambiri. Palibe nambala yamatsenga yomwe ingagwire ntchito kwa aliyense. Okwatirana ena amasangalala atatha chaka chimodzi chokha ali pachibwenzi, pomwe ena angatenge zaka zingapo kuti atsimikize kwathunthu. Chofunika kwambiri ndi kulimba kwa ubale wanu ndi kuzama kwa ubale wanu. M'malo mongoganizira nthawi inayake, yang'anani pa kumanga maziko olimba a ubale. Kumva kuti ndinu wokonzekadi kudzipereka kwa nthawi yayitali sikungachitike mwachangu, ndipo ulendo wa aliyense ndi wosiyana. Yankho la nthawi yomwe muyenera kukhala pachibwenzi musanakwatirane limadalira ubale wanu komanso momwe mumakonzekera.

Kodi anthu amakumana nthawi yayitali bwanji asanatengere chinkhoswe

Ngakhale kuti okwatirana ena angamve ngati okonzeka kupempha chibwenzi atatha chaka chimodzi ali pachibwenzi, ena angayembekezere nthawi yayitali kuti atsimikizire kuti adutsa m'mavuto a ubale wodzipereka. Zinthu monga zaka, zomwe adakumana nazo kale muubwenzi , komanso gawo la moyo wawo zonse zimatha kukhudza nthawi yomwe anthu amakhala pachibwenzi asanalowe m'banja.

• Miyezi 6 mpaka chaka chimodzi: Mabanja ambiri amachita chinkhoswe m’chaka chawo choyamba ali pachibwenzi. The oyambirira magawo a ubale ukhoza kukhala wodzala ndi chikhumbo ndi chisangalalo, kupangitsa ena kudzidalira m’chigamulo chawo mwamsanga. Kodi miyezi 6 yatsala pang'ono kupanga chinkhoswe? Dr. Batra anati: “Ngakhale kuti zimatengera banjali, n’kwanzeru kuthera nthawi yochuluka musanayambe kupangana zimenezi.”
• 1 kwa zaka 3: Izi nthawi zambiri zimawoneka ngati nthawi yachibwenzi nthawi zambiri zisanachitike. Dr. Batra anati: “Pa nthawiyi n’kuti okwatirana ambiri akukumana ndi mavuto ndipo amakhala ndi nthawi yokwanira yoti azikula komanso kuti azikula.
• Zaka 3 mpaka 5 kapena kuposerapo: Maubwenzi ena amatenga nthawi yayitali kuti afike pachinkhoswe, makamaka ngati awiriwo akufuna kuwonetsetsa kuti akugwirizana pazinthu zofunika monga. kukonzekera ndalama, zolinga za ntchito, ndi kulera. Nthawi yotalikirapo pachibwenzi imatha kuloleza kukula kwanu komanso kudalirana kozama.
• Kupitilira zaka 5: Nthaŵi zina, okwatirana amasankha kukhala pachibwenzi kwa zaka zambiri asanatengere chinkhoswe. Izi zitha kukhala chifukwa cha zinthu zakunja, monga udindo wa munthu kapena ntchito, kapena kungofuna kukhala otsimikiza kwambiri asanatenge sitepe yayikulu chonchi.

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Momwe Mungadziwire Ngati Mwakonzeka Kuchita Chibwenzi: Zizindikiro 7

Kodi muyenera kudikira nthawi yayitali bwanji kuti mukwatirane? Chabwino, yankho lake ndi lovuta kwambiri kuposa kungoyang’ana utali wa nthaŵi imene mwakhala pachibwenzi. Pali zolembera zakuya zomwe zikuwonetsa kuti mwakonzeka kudzipereka. Ndiye ngati mukuganiza kuti, "Ndiyenera kufunsira liti kwa bwenzi langa? Pano pali kuyang'anitsitsa zizindikiro zomwe zimasonyeza kuti mwakonzeka kuchitapo kanthu:

1. Mwayenda bwino mkangano

Chikondi sichimangokhudza nthawi yabwino yokha; koma chimakhudzanso momwe mumachitira ndi zovuta. Banja lililonse limakumana ndi mavuto , kaya ndi kusagwirizana pa nkhani za tsiku ndi tsiku kapena kuthana ndi mavuto akuluakulu pa moyo. Dr. Batra akulangiza kuti, “Ngati inu ndi mnzanu mwapambana kuthetsa mikangano imeneyi, mukuithetsa mwaulemu komanso momvetsetsana, ndi chizindikiro chakuti ubale wanu wamangidwa kuti ukhale wolimba. Kusamvana n’kosapeweka, koma momwe mungachitire ndi momwe mungachitire kungadziwitse tsogolo lanu.” Ngati mungathe kukambirana nkhani zovuta popanda kuopa kuti ubalewo ungawonongeke, imeneyo ndi maziko abwino a chibwenzi chopambana.

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2. Mfundo zazikuluzikulu zanu zimagwirizana

Posankha nthawi yoti muyambe chibwenzi musanakwatirane kapena nthawi yoti muyambe chibwenzi, ndikofunikira kuonetsetsa kuti mfundo zanu zazikulu zikugwirizana. Dr. Batra akugawana nafe, "Kodi nonsenu mumaona zinthu monga banja, ndalama, ndi zolinga za ntchito? Izi ndi mfundo zofunika kwambiri pa moyo zomwe zidzakupangitsani kukhala ndi tsogolo limodzi. Ngakhale zokonda zanu kapena zosangalatsa zanu zingasiyane, zikhulupiriro zofanana zokhudza chithunzi chachikulu cha moyo zingakuthandizeni kupewa mikangano mtsogolo." Kukhala ndi mfundo zofanana kumathandiza kuonetsetsa kuti mukugwirizana kwa nthawi yayitali ndipo kumapereka maziko olimba a ubale uliwonse, makamaka musanayambe chibwenzi.

3. Mutha kulankhula chilichonse

Kodi anthu amakhala pachibwenzi kwa nthawi yayitali bwanji asanakwatirane? Nthawi yokwanira kuti akhale omasuka kulankhula chilichonse. Kulankhulana ndi chinsinsi cha ubale uliwonse wopambana. Ngati inu ndi mnzanu mwakulitsa luso lolankhulana momasuka za chilichonse - kuyambira pamtima mpaka pa nkhani yaikulu - ndiye kuti mwina mwakonzeka kuchitapo kanthu. Kutha kukambirana nkhani zovuta, monga mavuto azachuma kapena mantha anu, ndikofunikira kwambiri popanga chidaliro . Ngati nonse mukumva kuti muli otetezeka komanso omasuka kugawana malingaliro anu, ndi chizindikiro champhamvu chakuti ubale wanu wamangidwa pa ulemu ndi kumvetsetsana. Kulankhulana kwenikweni kumatanthauzanso kukhala wokhoza kumvetsera, osati kungolankhula.

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4. Mumalemekeza ufulu wa wina ndi mnzake

Ubale wabwino suyenera kukupangitsani kutaya mtima. Ngati onse awiri amalimbikitsa kukula kwaumwini ndikulemekeza ufulu wa wina ndi mnzake muubwenzi , ndi chizindikiro chabwino kuti mwakonzeka kudzipereka kwambiri. Ukwati sikutanthauza kuti anthu awiri akukhala amodzi; koma ndi za anthu awiri omwe amathandizana zolinga zawo pamene akukula limodzi. Ngati mukumva kuti ndinu otetezeka mu umunthu wanu pamene mukugawanabe ubale wolimba ndi mnzanu, ndi chizindikiro champhamvu cha maziko abwino a chibwenzi.

5. Mwakambirana za zachuma

Nkhani zandalama zingayambitse mavuto aakulu m’mabwenzi. Musanachite chinkhoswe, m'pofunika kukambirana moona mtima za inuyo 

• Kukonzekera zachuma
• Ngongole
• Kuwononga
• Ndi zolinga zosungira

Dr. Batra anati: “Kukhala ndi maganizo ofanana pa nkhani ya zachuma kungathandize kupewa mikangano yosafunikira pambuyo pake. Kodi nonse nonse muli omasuka ndi lingaliro la kuphatikiza ndalama?

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6. Okondedwa anu amathandizira ubale wanu

Ngakhale kuti chisankho chopanga chinkhoswe chiyenera kukhala pakati pa inu ndi wokondedwa wanu, chithandizo cha okondedwa chingakhale chizindikiro chofunikira. Ngati mabanja anu ndi abwenzi apamtima amakhulupirira ubale wanu, zimasonyeza kuti akuwona chinachake cholimba ndi chokhalitsa pakati pa inu nonse. Ngakhale malingaliro akunja sayenera kulamula zisankho zanu, podziwa kuti njira yanu yothandizira ili kumbuyo kwanu ikhoza kuwonjezera chidaliro pakusankha kwanu.

7. Mukuwona tsogolo limodzi, osati ukwati wokha

Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zodziwika bwino zoti muyenera kukwatira ndi pamene mukuyamba kuganizira za tsogolo ndi mnzanu, osati ukwati wokha. Ngati maloto anu, zolinga zanu, ndi mapulani anu akuphatikizapo wina ndi mnzake, chimenecho ndi chizindikiro chabwino. Chibwenzi sichoncho kungokondwerera - koma chimakhudza kumanga moyo pamodzi. Ngati nonsenu mukuganizira za tsogolo logawana, komwe mukusangalala ndi ulendo womwe uli patsogolo osati tsiku la ukwati lokha, nthawi ikhoza kukhala yoti mutenge sitepe yotsatira.

Zolemba Zoti Mumenye Musanachite Chinkhoswe

Musanaganize zofunsa funsoli, onetsetsani kuti ubale wanu wafika pa mfundo zazikulu. Izi si mabokosi owerengera okha, koma ndi zochitika zofunika kwambiri komanso zokambirana zomwe zingathandize kuti banja likhale lolimba komanso losangalala . Kodi muyenera kudikira nthawi yayitali bwanji kuti mupemphe mwamuna kapena mkazi? Dr. Batra akuyankha kuti, “Kwa nthawi yayitali kuti musamangosangalala ndi nthawi ya ukwati komanso kuti mukhale ndi luso lolankhulana bwino, kulemekezana, komanso nzeru zamaganizo kuti muthane ndi mavuto omwe amakubweretserani limodzi.” Yang'anirani mfundo zazikuluzikulu izi kuti mudziwe nthawi yoyenera yopempherera mwamuna kapena mkazi.

1. Anathera nyengo zonse zinayi pamodzi

Kuona momwe mnzanu amachitira zinthu pazochitika zosiyanasiyana za moyo—kupsinjika maganizo, chisangalalo, ndi kusintha—n'kofunika kwambiri. Pakapita chaka, mudzakumana ndi zovuta zosiyanasiyana. Momwe amachitira zinthu izi, kaya nthawi zovuta kapena nthawi ya zikondwerero, zingakuuzeni zambiri za kulimba mtima kwawo ndi umunthu wawo. Ndi chinthu chimodzi kukhala limodzi panthawi ya ukwati , koma kukumana ndi nyengo zosiyanasiyana pamodzi (kwenikweni komanso mophiphiritsira) kumakupatsani chidziwitso cha kuthekera kwa nthawi yayitali kwa ubale wanu.

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2. Kumanani ndi mabanja ndi abwenzi a wina ndi mnzake

Kumvetsetsa mbiri ya mnzanu n'kofunika kwambiri. Kukumana ndi abale awo ndi mabwenzi awo apamtima kumakupatsani chithunzithunzi cha momwe analeredwera komanso makhalidwe omwe analeredwa nawo. Kumakuwonetsaninso momwe amachitira zinthu ndi anthu omwe amawakonda kwambiri. Ngati mnzanuyo ali ndi ubale wabwino ndi okondedwa ake, nthawi zambiri zimasonyeza luso lawo losunga ubale wabwino . Kukumana ndi banja lawo ndi mabwenzi awo kungakuthandizeni kumvetsetsa zambiri za zomwe amaika patsogolo ndi makhalidwe awo, zomwe zingakhale zofunika kwambiri musanalowe m'banja.

3. Tinakambitsirana mozama za ziyembekezo za ukwati

Dokotala Batra akunena kuti, “Musananene kuti “inde” kapena “ndidzatero,” ndikofunikira kukambirana zomwe mukuyembekezera muukwati wanu. Kodi nonse mwalankhulapo za ana, ntchito, ndi komwe mukufuna kukhala? Kodi muli ndi malingaliro ofanana amtsogolo? Kukambirana za zinthu zomwe zingawononge mgwirizano tsopano kungathandize kupewa zodabwitsa pambuyo pake.” Mwachitsanzo, ngati mmodzi wa inu akufuna banja lalikulu ndipo winayo sakufuna, ndikofunikira kuthetsa vutoli msanga kuti mupewe kukhumudwa mtsogolo.

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4. Anayenda limodzi

Kuyenda ndi mnzanu kungakuuzeni zambiri zokhudza ubale wanu. Kumasonyeza momwe nonse mumachitira ndi nkhawa, kudzipereka, komanso ngakhale zinthu zazing'ono zomwe zimakuvutitsani paulendo. Kaya ndi kuyenda mumzinda wosadziwika kapena kuthana ndi kusintha kosayembekezereka, kuyenda limodzi kumakupatsani mwayi wowona momwe mungathetsere mavuto ndikumvetsetsana. Ngati mumakonda kuyenda limodzi ndipo mutha kuthana ndi mavuto omwe amabwera nawo, chimenecho ndi chizindikiro chabwino kuti ubale wanu ndi wolimba.

5. Kuthana ndi vuto limodzi

Palibe ubale womwe umakhala wopanda mavuto ake. Kaya ndi mantha a thanzi, kutayika kwa ntchito, kapena vuto ladzidzidzi la banja, momwe mumathanirana ndi vuto limodzi zingakuuzeni zambiri za mgwirizano wanu. Kodi mumathandizana nthawi zovuta? Kodi mungakhale chete ndikupanga zisankho limodzi? Kukumana ndi mavuto limodzi kungayese kapena kulimbitsa mgwirizano wanu , kotero ndi chinthu chofunikira kukhala nacho musanapange mgwirizano wa moyo wonse.

Zoyenera Kuchita Ngati Simunakonzekere Kufunsira

Ngati mukudzifunsa kuti, “Ndiyenera kudikira nthawi yayitali bwanji kuti ndiyambe chibwenzi?” kapena “Ndiyenera kukwatira nthawi yayitali bwanji ?”, ndikofunikira kuti mubwerere m'mbuyo ndikuwunika momwe mukumvera. Chibwenzi ndi kudzipereka kwakukulu, ndipo kusatsimikiza sikutanthauza kuti pali cholakwika; zimangotanthauza kuti mukufunika nthawi yochulukirapo kapena kumveka bwino. Nazi malangizo ena oti muchite:

1. Lankhulani ndi bwenzi lanu

Ndikofunikira kukhala woona mtima ndi mnzanu pa zomwe mukumva. Kupewa nkhaniyi kungayambitse chisokonezo kapena kupwetekedwa mtima. Khalani ndi zokambirana zomasuka za chifukwa chake simukudziwa bwino komanso nthawi yanu ikuyenda bwanji. Kukambirana kumeneku kumakuthandizani kumvetsetsa komwe muli komanso ngati muli pa tsamba limodzi. Musaope kukambirana nkhawa zanu; zingakhale zothandiza kuthetsa kusatsimikizika kulikonse koyambirira.

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2. Onani zomwe zikukulepheretsani

Kumvetsetsa zifukwa zomwe zimakupangitsani kukayikira ndikofunikira. Khalani ndi nthawi yoganizira zomwe zikukupangitsani kukhala wosatsimikizika. 

• Kodi ndi kuopa kudzipereka? 
• Nkhani zachuma? 
• Kukula kwanu?

Pozindikira zomwe zikukulepheretsani, mutha kuthana nazo, kaya nokha kapena ndi mnzanu, kuti mupeze njira zina.

3. Funsani uphungu ngati kuli kofunikira

Nthawi zina, kufunafuna malangizo kuchokera kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo kungakuthandizeni kuthana ndi kukayikira kwanu kapena kusokonezeka. Mlangizi, monga gulu la akatswiri a Bonobology , angakuthandizeni kuwona bwino, kukuthandizani kufufuza mantha anu, ndikupereka zida zothetsera mavuto aliwonse aubwenzi. Uphungu wa maanja ungathandizenso kukulitsa kulankhulana ndikulimbitsa ubale wanu musanayambe.

4. Dzipatseni chilolezo kuti mudikire

Dr. Batra anati: “Chibwenzi n’chinthu chofunika kwambiri, ndipo sichiyenera kuchita zinthu mopupuluma. Ndikofunika kwambiri kuti mukonze bwino kusiyana ndi kuthamangira ndondomekoyi kuti mukwaniritse nthawi inayake.

Kodi Posachedwapa Kupanga Lingaliro?

Kawirikawiri anthu amadabwa kuti, “Kodi ukwati umayamba liti msanga?” Ngakhale kuti palibe yankho lenileni, kufunsira chibwenzi kumayambiriro kwa chibwenzi kungakhale koopsa. Miyezi yoyambirira ya chibwenzi nthawi zambiri imakhala ndi chilakolako chachikulu komanso chisangalalo, koma kugwirizana kwenikweni kumangoonekera pakapita nthawi. Ngati simunakumanepo ndi mavuto a chibwenzi limodzi kapena mukukumana ndi zochitika zazikulu pamoyo, kudikira pang'ono musanapemphe chibwenzi kungakhale kopindulitsa. Chofunika kwambiri ndikuonetsetsa kuti nonse mukumva kuti ndinu otsimikiza komanso kuti mwadziwana bwino.

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Zizindikiro Zoti Mwatsala Pang'ono Kufunsira

Kusatsimikiza za zisankho zazikulu pa moyo wanu kapena kukhala ndi ubale wosakhazikika nthawi zambiri kumatanthauza kuti mukufunika nthawi yochulukirapo.

"Chibwenzi chiyenera kuwoneka ngati chigamulo chomwe mwapangana pambuyo polingalira mosamalitsa, osati china chake chofulumira chifukwa cha zoyembekeza zakunja kapena kutengeka kwakanthawi."

Dr. Shefali Batra

Nazi zizindikiro zina zomwe zingayankhe kuti kwa inu, posakhalitsa kuti mukwatire.

• Simunakhale ndi nthawi yokwanira yodziwana zenizeni
• Simunakumane ndi zovuta limodzi
• Mmodzi wa inu akumva kukakamizidwa kuti afunse
• Simunakambirane nkhani zazikulu monga zachuma ndi ana
• Mumakonda kwambiri lingaliro la ukwati kusiyana ndi wina ndi mzake

Zoyenera Kuchita Ngati Mukumva Kuti Mwatomeredwa Posachedwapa

Ngati mumadzifunsa kuti, "Kodi posakhalitsa mukwatire?" ndikuwona kuti chinkhoswe chanu chinathamangira, chinthu chofunikira kwambiri ndikuzindikira kuti ndi bwino kukayikira. Kukhala pachibwenzi ndi gawo lalikulu, ndipo ngati simukudzidalira, ndikofunikira kuthana ndi nkhawa zanu. Nazi zina zomwe mungachite:

1. Lankhulani ndi wokondedwa wanu moona mtima

Kulankhulana momasuka ndi moona mtima ndi sitepe yoyamba. Muuzeni mnzanuyo momwe mukumvera, osawopa kuweruzidwa kapena kukanidwa. Fotokozani nkhawa zanu mokoma mtima komanso momveka bwino. Kulankhula zakukhosi kwanu kungakuthandizeni nonse kuunika mkhalidwewo pamodzi ndi kupeza yankho.

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2. Unikaninso zoyembekeza

Ngati simukudziwa bwino za chibwenzi chanu, ganizirani kuwonjezera nthawiyo mutakwatirana komanso musanakwatirane . Chibwenzi cha nthawi yayitali chingakuthandizeni nonse kuthana ndi mavuto aliwonse ndikukula limodzi musanakwatirane.

3. Ganizirani uphungu wa maanja

Katswiri wa zamaganizo angakuthandizeni kufotokoza zakukhosi kwanu ndikuthetsa kukayikira kulikonse. Ngati simukudziwa bwino za tsogolo lanu, uphungu wokhudza banja lanu ungakuthandizeni kumvetsetsa ngati ndi mantha asanachitike ukwati kapena nkhawa yaikulu.

4. Dziwani kuti kubwerera kumbuyo ndi njira ina

Palibe vuto kusiya ngati simukudziwa bwino. Kupanga chisankho choyenera tsopano kungalepheretseni kudandaula pambuyo pake. Ngakhale kuthetsa chibwenzi kungakhale kovuta, ndi bwino kuposa kuthamangira ukwati pamene simukudziwa bwino.

Maganizo Final

Palibe lamulo lokhazikitsa nthawi yoti mukhale pachibwenzi musanatengere chinkhoswe. M'malo mwake, yang'anani pa kukhulupirirana, kulankhulana, ndi zikhalidwe zogawana. Kaya zimatenga chaka kapena zaka zingapo, pafupifupi nthawi pachibwenzi pamaso chinkhoswe si zofunika monga kuonetsetsa kuti mwakonzekadi. Ndiye muyenera kupanga liti? Pamene inu ndi mnzanuyo mukumva kuti mwakonzeka kukhala limodzi kwa moyo wanu wonse. Tengani nthawi yanu, kambiranani zopindulitsa, ndipo onetsetsani kuti chisankho ichi ndi chomwe nonse mumadzidalira. Kodi kukhala pachibwenzi kwa nthawi yayitali bwanji musanalowe m'banja? Palibe yankho lachilengedwe chonse, koma chofunikira ndikumanga maziko olimba poyamba.

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Ubwino Wobisika Wachisudzulo

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.