21 Zizindikiro Zokhumudwitsa Mwamuna Wanu Sakulemekezani Ndi Momwe Mungapirire

“Iye sangakuonani kukhala wofunika kuposa mmene mumadzikondera,” anatero wolemba wokondwerera wachikazi Toni Morrison polankhula za maunansi ndi mmene akazi amamvera kwa amuna. Ndipo iye sanali kulakwitsa. Nthawi zambiri, mumawona zizindikiro kuti mwamuna wanu samakukondani, komabe, mumamatira ku chiyanjano, mukuganiza kuti asintha. Mumadzifunsa kuti, “Kodi mwamuna wanga amandilemekeza?” kapena mumadzipeza mukuuza anzanu kuti, “Mwamuna wanga sandiyimira.” Koma simungathe kuthetsa vutolo kapena kuchita chilichonse kuti muthetse. Mumakhala moyo wamba, wosafunika komanso wosasamalidwa.

Tangoganizani, mlongo, simungakhale pansi ndikudikirira kuti akuwonetseni kuti amakukondani kapena amakulemekezani. Ngakhalenso inu simunganyalanyaze zizindikiro kuti iye satero. Chifukwa chake, kudzera m'nkhaniyi, tikudziwitsani zoyenera kuchita ngati mwamuna wanu sakulemekezaninso. Werengani!

Mumadziwa Bwanji Kuti Mwamuna Wanu Sakulemekezani? 21 Zizindikiro Zokhumudwitsa

Mukawona zizindikiro za kusadziwa ndi kusalemekezana muubwenzi, simuyenera kudikira ndi kuyang'ana. Munthu angaganize kuti, chifukwa cha kubuka kwa kusintha kwa ufulu wa akazi ndi kufanana pakati pa amuna ndi akazi, komanso chifukwa cha akazi ambiri omwe akuyamba ntchito chaka chilichonse, akazi ndi zisankho zawo za moyo zidzayamikiridwa ndi amuna. Komabe, malinga ndi kafukufuku wina , amuna amachita gawo lofunika kwambiri pa akazi omwe akuchita bwino kwambiri kusiya ntchito kuti akasamalire ana awo. Chosangalatsa n'chakuti, mwina mukudandaula kuti mwamuna wanu amaika patsogolo ntchito kuposa banja!

Ndipo sikuti ntchito zokha ndi zokha. Akazi nthawi zambiri amanyalanyazidwa ndipo amaonedwa ngati osavuta muubwenzi. Nthawi zambiri amapezeka akudziuza kuti, “Mwamuna wanga sandiyamikira” kapena “Mwamuna wanga sandichitira chilichonse chapadera.” Kodi zimenezo zikumveka zachilendo? Chabwino, ngati yankho lanu ndi 'inde', ndi nthawi yoti muyang'ane bwino nkhaniyi ndikudziwa ngati mukulemekezedwa muubwenzi. Chifukwa chake, mtsikana, nazi zizindikiro 21 zomwe mwamuna wanu sakuyamikirani ndipo muyenera kuchitapo kanthu:

1. Sasonyeza chikondi

Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zomwe mwamuna wanu samakukondani ndi chakuti amakukondani pang'ono kapena sangakukondeni. Chikondi chingakhale chakuthupi kapena mwamawu, koma zikatero, sipadzakhala. Chifukwa chake, mukudziwa kuti simukukondedwa, ngati:

• Sanena zinthu zokoma monga “ndimakukondani” ndipo palibe ubwenzi wapamtima
• Amapewa manja achikondi monga kugwirana chanza kapena kusisita
• Ubwenzi wakuthupi wapita kale ndipo moyo wanu wogonana tsopano ndi wotopetsa

2. Simuli mbali yopangira zisankho

Chizindikiro cha banja labwino ndi pamene onse awiri akutenga nawo mbali paziganizo zazikulu. Choncho, ngati simukuyamikiridwa ndi mwamuna wanu, angaiwale kuti akuphatikizani posankha zinthu zofunika, monga:

• Zosankha za bajeti, monga kuchuluka kwa ndalama zomwe ziyenera kuperekedwa panyumba, zosangalatsa, ndi zina
• Ndi sukulu ziti zomwe ana anu aziphunzira
• Kaya muyenera kulemba ganyu wosamalira m'nyumba

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3. Ndandanda yanu si yofunika

Mumadziwa bwanji kuti mwamuna wanu samakulemekezani? Mukamupeza akupanga mapulani osaganizira nthawi yanu yantchito kapena kumasuka kapena kuiwala masiku ofunikira. Nazi zochitika zochepa zazochitika zotere:

• Amakonzekera tchuthi kukumbukira nthawi yake ya ntchito koma amaiwala yanu
• Akukonzekera ulendo wantchito, kuyiwala za tsiku lanu lokumbukira

4. Akukunyozetsani Pagulu

Akazi nthawi zambiri amapezeka akudandaula kuti, “Mwamuna wanga amandinyoza.” Choyipa kwambiri ndi pamene mwamuna wanu akukuchititsani manyazi kapena kukunyozani pamaso pa anzanu ndi abale anu, kapena akulowa nawo m’chipongwe. Izi zimawononga kudzidalira kwa mkazi. Ndipo mumatsala mukudzifunsa kuti, “Kodi mwamuna wanga amandilemekeza?” kapena mumadziuza kuti, “Mwamuna wanga sandiyimira.” Nazi zitsanzo zingapo:

• Amalankhula za inu ndi abwenzi ake
• He amanena zinthu zopweteka ndipo amalankhula zonyoza banja lanu pamaso pa makolo ake kapena achibale ake
• Amakunenerani zoipa pamaso pa ana anu
• Nthawi zambiri amanyoza kalembedwe kanu kapena amanyoza ntchito yanu
• Amalumikizana ndi ena kukupangitsani kukhala nthabwala

5. Kusakhulupirika

Inde, kusakhulupirika m'banja kuli ndi zigawo zake ndipo kungayambike pazifukwa zosiyanasiyana, monga kusagwirizana ndi zina. Komabe, ngati mukuona kuti mukumuchitira zokwanira ndipo akadali ndi chidwi chofuna kukopa akazi kapena kukhala ndi zibwenzi, ndiye kuti nkhaniyi ndi yotayika. Nazi zizindikiro zingapo zosonyeza kuti akukusekani ndipo sakukulemekezani:

• Amapitirizabe kutumizirana mameseji ndi akazi ena kuti angowanyoza, kunyalanyaza kukambirana kofunikira ndi inu
• Amakukopani ndi anzanu ngakhale mulipo
• Amapita kokacheza ndi akazi anzake ogwira nawo ntchito, kukupatsani chowiringula nthawi zonse, kwinaku mukusungulumwa.

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6. Iye amakuthamangitsani

Muli ndi mwamuna wosasamala ngati ayamba kukukhumudwitsani pazifukwa zazing'ono. Ndipotu, kukukhumudwitsani , kapena kukupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu wolakwa chifukwa chokhala ndi moyo wanu ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zazikulu zomwe sakuyamikirani. Chifukwa chake, nazi zitsanzo zingapo:

• Iye amakupangitsani kudzimva kukhala ndi liwongo kaamba ka kuthera nthaŵi yaitali kuntchito, akumati, “Mmodzi wa ife ayenera kufika kunyumba mofulumira kuti asamalire ana.”
• Amakuyendetsani chifukwa chogwiritsa ntchito Loweruka ndi Lamlungu ku kalasi yaukadaulo osati kuphika masiku amenewo

7. Mukuyenda pazigoba za mazira

Ngati nthawi zonse mumaopa kuti chilichonse chimene munganene kapena kuchita chingamupangitse kuti achite zoipa kapena kumukwiyitsa, mtsikana, dziwani kuti mukuyenda pa zipolopolo za mazira ndipo muli ndi mwamuna wosayamika. Simungamuuze kuti simukufuna kupita ku mwambo wa banja kapena kuti mukufuna kuyesa chakudya chatsopano ku lesitilanti. Chilichonse chiyenera kuchitika malinga ndi zomwe akufuna.

8. Amayesa kukusinthani

Mwamuna wanu akapanda kukuonani kukhala wofunika, amayesa kukusandutsani kukhala munthu wina. Ndipo mumangodzifunsa kuti, "Sindikuganiza kuti mwamuna wanga amandikonda." Muzochitika izi, akhoza kukhala:

• Nthawi zonse muzikufananitsani ndi munthu wina, kunena kuti ndinu wonenepa kwambiri kapena woonda kwambiri, kapena muyenera kusintha kavalidwe kanu.
• Pemphani kuti mukhale ngati munthu wina, monga wantchito mnzako kapena bwenzi lake. Kotero, atha kunena chinachake chonga "Tamuyang'anani! Ali ndi ntchito 9-5 ndipo amatha kubwerera kunyumba ndikuphika banja lake!"

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9. Alibe nthawi yanu

Choncho, nthawi zonse amakhala wotanganidwa kuntchito kapena wotopa kwambiri akabwera kunyumba n’kukagona. Nthawi zambiri mumapeza mukuuza anzanu kuti, “Mwamuna wanga samandiuza nthawi yomwe adzakhale kunyumba. Palibe zosangalatsa, palibe, ndipo simukumbukira nthawi yomaliza yomwe mudakhala nthawi yabwino kapena kupita kokadya chakudya chamadzulo. Ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu sakufuna kuchita nanu kalikonse, sakuonani kukhala wofunika.

10. Sakudziwa zomwe zikuchitika pamoyo wanu

Chifukwa chake, mwakwezedwa pantchito, kapena mwapambana kumene maphunziro olembera kapena ulendo wolipira ndalama zonse ku Hawaii! Koma mwamuna wanu sadziwa. Ndipotu masiku ano sakufunsani za mapulani anu. Palibe chidwi chokhudza zomwe zikuchitika m'moyo wanu.
Ndipo zimafika poipa mukagawana zomwe zikuchitika m'moyo wanu mokondwera. Amangoyankha mwachisawawa "O! Ndawona" kapena akutuluka m'chipindacho ndi laputopu yake. Tili ndi nkhani yoyipa: mwamuna wanu samakulemekezani.

11. Iye salemekeza malire anu

Tangoganizirani izi: mwauza mwamuna wanu kuti simukumasuka ndi mnzanu winawake chifukwa amakukwiyitsani ndi nyimbo kapena nthabwala zonyoza akazi. Koma mwamuna wanu sakusamala nkhawa zanu ndipo akupitiriza kumuitanira ku maphwando a m'nyumba mwanu. Ichi ndi chizindikiro choonekeratu kuti sakulemekezani malire anu ndipo sakulemekezani.

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12. Iye sakhala pamene mukumufuna

Inde, tonsefe tili ndi miyoyo, koma wina akaona mwamuna kapena mkazi wake akuvutika ndipo akupitirizabe ndi miyoyo yawo mopanda chidwi, mumadziwa kuti sakulemekezani. Ukwati wabwino umatanthauza kukhalapo pamodzi, osati nthawi zovuta zokha komanso m'miyoyo yathu ya tsiku ndi tsiku. Ndipo ngati muli ndi mwamuna yemwe simunamukonde, iye sakulemekezani. Nazi zitsanzo zingapo za izi:

• Munkamufunadi pambali panu mayi anu atagonekedwa m’chipatala, koma anali wotanganidwa ndi ntchito
• Munkafuna kuti akuthandizeni homuweki ya ana anu, koma amangokhalira kuonera kriketi usiku wonse
• Ndinu nokha amene mumapita kwa makolo ndi aphunzitsi omwe amakumana kusukulu ya mwana wanu, ngakhale zitakhala zovuta kwambiri.

13. Saika patsogolo ubwino wanu

Nthawi zambiri zimadziwikiratu ngati wina amakukondani kapena ayi pamene sakusamala za ubwino wanu. Nazi zizindikiro zina zomwe mwamuna wanu samakulemekezani:

• Mwamuuza kuti simungapirire kukhala wosuta ndipo munamupempha kuti asiye kusuta. Koma akupitirizabe kunyalanyaza nkhawa zanu
• Mwamupempha kuti akupezereni nyumba yomwe ili pafupi ndi malo anu antchito. Koma amakunyalanyazani ndipo mumadzifunsabe kuti, “Mwamuna wanga amaona kuti ntchito yake ndi yofunika kwambiri kuposa yanga.”

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14. Mumadzilipira nokha, nthawi zonse

Inde, akazi masiku ano amasangalala kulipira mabilu awo. Ndipotu, amakonda kulipira pa deti kapena kugawana ndalama zapakhomo. Koma mu ubale uliwonse wabwino, zizindikiro monga kugula mphatso zazing'ono zachikondi kapena kudabwitsa mnzanu ndi madeti okongola a chakudya chamadzulo ndi zapadera. Koma ngati mukupeza kuti mukulipira zosowa zanu zonse ndipo kugawana mabilu kumawoneka ngati ntchito yofunikira mukamaliza deti lililonse la chakudya chamadzulo, muyenera kuganiziranso za ubale wanu. Ngati nthawi zambiri mumapeza kuti mukuuza anzanu kuti, "Mwamuna wanga sandichitira chilichonse chapadera," ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za kusayamikiridwa mu ubale.

15. Ukumenyedwa ndi miyala

Kukonza matabwa ndi njira yobisika ya munthu amene amanyalanyaza zosowa zanu. Choncho, mwamuna wanu akanyalanyaza malingaliro anu nthawi iliyonse yomwe zosowa zake sizikukwaniritsidwa, dziwani kuti sakukuyamikirani mokwanira. Dzifunseni ngati mukukopeka:

• Kodi amachoka m’chipindamo ali pakati pa mikangano ndi kumenyetsa chitseko, m’malo mothetsa nkhaniyo?
• Kodi iye amangolankhula mawu ongonena kuti, “Zikomo kwambiri pondiuza zimenezo,” mukamakambirana naye za chinachake chimene simuchikonda chokhudza iye?
• Kodi amanyalanyaza nkhawa zanu ndi mawu akuti “Mwangochita mopambanitsa”?

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16. Sagwirizana ndi maloto anu

Kodi mukufuna kumaliza digiri yanu yomwe simunaimalize mutakhala ndi ana anu? Kapena mukufuna kubwerera ku kukhala mphunzitsi wodzipereka monga momwe munali musanasiye ntchito chifukwa cha ana anu? Kodi mumalakalaka kusunga ndalama ndikuyenda padziko lonse tsiku lina?

Koma maloto anu ndi zolinga zanu zilibe kanthu kwa mwamuna wanu. Amangokuuzani momwe mungasinthire mizinda ngati atakwezedwa kwina. Zimenezo, mzanga wokondedwa, ndi chizindikiro chachikulu chakuti samakuonani kukhala wofunika.

17. Iye amaika patsogolo mbali zina za moyo

Ndiye mumangodziuza kuti, “Mwamuna wanga samandiika patsogolo.” Zonse zimadalira makolo ake, anzake, ntchito yake, ndi zolinga zake. Angakonde kuyitana abwana ake usiku kwambiri kusiyana ndi kumvetsera momwe tsiku lanu layendera. Ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu sakuikani patsogolo, n’zoonekeratu kuti sakuonani kukhala wofunika.

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18. Amangolankhula nanu akafuna chinthu

Choncho, wakuuzani kuti sangadzuke pabedi Lamlungu popanda khofi wake ndi scrambled mazira. Akufuna kuti musunge malaya ake ndikuyika masokosi okonzeka asanapite kuntchito. Bwana wake akubwera kudzadya Lachisanu lino ndipo akufuna kuti muphike nkhuku yowotcha. Choipa kwambiri n’chakuti amalankhula nanu pokhapokha ngati akufuna kuti mum’chitire zinazake. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zoonekeratu kuti mwamuna wanu sakusamala za inu.

19. Samvera chisoni

Palibe malingaliro anu omwe ali oyenera kwa iye ndipo samawona zinthu momwe mumawonera. Ndiye, mukudandaula kwambiri ngati mutamupempha kuti akonze AC pofika sabata ino. Mukuchita finicky kwambiri ngati muwapempha ana kuti asambe atabwerera ku masewera a mpira. Mumangodziuza kuti, “Mwamuna wanga sandiganizira.”

Kukhala ndi chifundo muubwenzi n'kofunika kwambiri. Koma malinga ndi kafukufuku wina , anthu ambiri amasankha kusamvera chisoni chifukwa kumafuna khama lalikulu. Ndipo ngati asankha kusasonyeza chifundo, zimangotanthauza kuti sakuyamikirani mokwanira kuti aike maganizo ake mwa inu.

20. Amakuphwetsani;

Kudzikuza ndi pamene munthu amakupangitsani kukayikira nzeru zanu pokudzudzulani chifukwa choyankha zinthu zomwe anena kapena kuchita. Ndipo mumatsala mukudzifunsa kuti, “Mwamuna wanga sakhulupirira chilichonse chimene ndimanena.”

Mwachitsanzo, mwina anaiŵala kukuuzani kuti phukusi liyenera kufika. Munali ku salon pamene mthenga anafika, ndipo phukusi silinaperekedwe. Mwamuna wanu amabwera kunyumba usiku kwambiri ndipo amakuimbani mlandu chifukwa 'mwayiwala' za phukusilo.

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21. Savomereza khama lanu;

Mnzanga wina, Amy, nthawi ina anandiuza kuti mwamuna wake nthawi zina amalemba zolemba kunyumba kwawo, monga pakhomo la furiji kapena pagalasi, kumuthokoza chifukwa cha zinthu zazing'ono, monga kuphika chakudya chamadzulo. Tsopano, si aliyense amene ali ndi chikondi chotere. Koma, Eya, ngati nthaŵi zambiri mumadzipeza mukuuza mabwenzi anu kuti, “Mwamuna wanga samandiyamikira,” mwina sangakulemekezeni mokwanira.

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Ndiye, muyenera kuchita chiyani ngati mwamuna wanu sakulemekezani? Claire White, wogwiritsa ntchito Quora, amakhulupirira kuti, ngati muwona zizindikiro zakuti akukuchitirani zoipa, onaninso gawo lomwe mukuchita podzichotsera ulemu wanu. Iye akuti maubwenzi onse omwe awonongeka ali ndi "gawo lopanga mgwirizano." Izi sizikutanthauza kuimba mlandu ozunzidwa koma kupangitsa akazi kuzindikira kuti sayenera kulekerera nkhanza kapena kusalemekeza. Chifukwa chake, tiyankha funso lanu lofunika kwambiri, "Momwe mungachitire mwamuna amene sakulemekezani?" Nayi zomwe mungachite ngati mwamuna wanu akukunyalanyazani:

1. Nenani 'Ayi' nthawi zambiri

Muyenera kuzindikira kudziona kuti ndinu ofunika ndikupanga malire abwino . Amakupemphani kuti musapite ku msonkhano wofunika chifukwa anzake akubwera? Musatero. Akufuna kuti musiye kalasi yanu ya gitala kuti mukhale ndi nthawi yochulukirapo yosamalira ana anu? Musatero. Nenani 'Ayi' kawirikawiri komanso popanda kudziimba mlandu.

2. Khalani odziimira pazachuma

Ndalama ndi zofunika, ndipo mukakhala ndi ntchito kapena ngakhale gwero lopanda phindu, monga njira ya YouTube, zimakupangitsani kukhala ndi maganizo abwino. Zimakulimbikitsani kudzidalira ndipo zimakupangitsani kudziona kuti ndinu ofunika. Mukasiya kudalira iye pazinthu zazing'ono zomwe ndalama zingagule, simudzasamala ngati mwamuna wanu sakukupatsani zinthu zapamwamba. Chifukwa chake, kukhala wodziyimira pawokha pazachuma monga mkazi wokwatiwa ndikofunikira kuti muwonjezere phindu lanu muukwati.

3. Pangani maukonde othandizira

Osadula anzanu ndi achibale anu. Muzicheza nawo, masukani kwa iwo kaamba ka chichirikizo chamalingaliro, ndipo chitani chithandizo chawo polankhulana ndi mwamuna wanu. Pali nthawi zina pomwe lingaliro lachitatu limapanga kusiyana kwakukulu.

4. Lumikizanani

Lankhulani naye momasuka za zimene zimakupangitsani kudziona kukhala wofunika, lingalirani mbali zonse ziŵiri, ndipo sankhani ngati ukwati uli woyenerera kulimenyera. Musamakangane kapena kupempha kuti akukhumudwitseni, chifukwa zimenezi zingachititse kuti zinthu ziipireipire. M'malo mwake, khalani chete ndi kukambirana njira yopita patsogolo.

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5. Pumulani pang'ono

Kutalikirana kumapangitsa mtima kukula. Choncho, ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu sakufuna kuchita nanu kalikonse, mupume kwa iye. Pitani nokha kwa sabata kapena khalani ndi makolo anu. Osasiya kuyankhula konse. Muwonetseni momwe zimakhalira kusakhala nanu pafupi.

6. Osataya umunthu wanu

Pitani, gwirani ntchito yokweza anthu pantchito, werengani buku, lowani nawo kalasi yochita zinthu zosangalatsa, khalani ndi nthawi yabwino ndi anzanu, dzikondweretseni nokha - chitani zomwe zimafunika kuti mudzisangalatse. Khalani inu nokha. Kusintha muukwati kapena ubale sikuyenera kupangidwa kuchokera ku cholinga chanu chokha.

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7. Funsani thandizo la akatswiri

Ngati mupeza kuti mwamuna wanu akuyamba kukunyozani kapena kukunyozani, lankhulani ndi loya. Ndi iko komwe, kusudzulana kosasangalatsa kuli bwino kuposa kukhala ndi banja lopanda chimwemwe. Ngati mukuwona kuti zikukhudza thanzi lanu, pitani kukalandira upangiri wamabwenzi. Kumbukirani, palibe njira ina yopangira upangiri wa akatswiri ngati khalidwe lake limakukhudzani kwambiri.

Tikukhulupirira kuti nkhaniyi yakuthandizani kuzindikira zizindikiro zakuti mwamuna wanu sakulemekezani komanso kuti simukufunabe yankho la zomwe mungachite ngati mwamuna wanu sakukuikani patsogolo. Tikukhulupirira kuti tsopano mukudziwa zomwe mungachite ngati mwamuna wanu akukunyalanyazani ndipo tikutsimikiza kuti mudzalimbana nanu! Kumbukirani, ndikofunikira kuti musaiwale kudzidalira kwanu muubwenzi ndikumuwonetsa kuti ndinu wofunika. Chofunika kwambiri, musaiwale kukhala inu.

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