Mukukumbukira filimu ya Gone Girl pomwe Amy amanyenga anthu onse omwe ali pafupi naye komanso omvera omwe akuonera filimuyi? Luso lake lonyenga, kulamulira ndi kukakamiza anthu kuti achite zinthu zomwe sangachite nthawi zambiri? Inde, chimenecho ndi chimodzi mwa zitsanzo za kunyengerera muubwenzi ndi momwe munthu angazunzire wina m'maganizo.
Mofanana ndi Amy, munthu wosokoneza maganizo amasiya kukhala munthu wopanda mphamvu komanso wopanda mphamvu. Koma mwina sangamve choncho kuchokera mumtima. Kudzinamizira kopanda thandizo kumeneku ndi chida chokha chomwe chimawathandiza kulamulira ndi kulamulira. Anthu achinyengo omwe amadziyesa kuti ndi abwino komanso osowa amakhala okhoza kuposa momwe mukuganizira.
Koma, nchifukwa ninji wina angagwere kwa wojambula ngati amene amasewera ndi malingaliro? Chifukwa ndi momwe alili abwino pa luso lachinyengo - sumazindikira kuti mukupusitsidwa kapena kugwa chifukwa cha zinyengo zawo. Ndiye, mumadziwa bwanji pamene zikuchitika? Ndipo zotani zikatero?
Tiyeni tipeze mayankho a mafunso awa, mothandizidwa ndi mlangizi Manjari Saboo (Masters in Applied Psychology and Post-Graduate Diploma in Family Therapy and Child Care Counseling), yemwe ndi woyambitsa Maitree Counselling, pulogalamu yodzipereka ku ubwino wa mabanja ndi ana. Ndi malangizo ake, tiyeni tiyambe ulendo womvetsetsa momwe tingadziwire ndi kuthana ndi anthu omwe amanyenga ena.
Kodi Kusokoneza M'maubwenzi Ndi Chiyani?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Malinga ndi Manjari Saboo , "Kunyenga maganizo ndi chinyengo chomwe munthu amagwiritsa ntchito kuti apeze chifundo, ulamuliro, chisamaliro, chisamaliro, nkhawa, ndi kupambana. Munthu akadziwa mphamvu za mnzake (monga chidziwitso, udindo, kumvetsetsa) ndipo akudziwa kuti anthu ena angakopeke ndi makhalidwe amenewa, amagwiritsa ntchito chinyengo cha maganizo kuti akhazikitse ulamuliro."
Munthu wokonda kusokoneza maganizo amasewera ndi maganizo anu ndipo amafuna kukhulupirika kwambiri komanso chinsinsi kuchokera kwa inu. Munthu wokonda kusokoneza maganizo muubwenzi adzakupatulani kotero kuti mumayamba kumudalira kwathunthu. Ngati pali chisokonezo ndi mphamvu zambiri muubwenzi wanu ndipo mnzanu nthawi zonse amalankhula mopanda malire kapena mopitirira muyeso, mwina akukusokonezani maganizo. Njira zonyenga muubwenzi zimatha kuyambira kukana kuvomereza mpaka kukonza zinthu mwanjira yoti mbali imodzi yokha ikhale ndi ubwino wake.
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Zitsanzo 15 Zomwe Zimagwira Ntchito Pamaubwenzi
Ngati mukufuna kumvetsetsa bwino momwe munthu wopusitsa amagwirira ntchito komanso mtundu wanji wakunyengerera pamaubwenzi omwe angagwiritse ntchito, mwafika pamalo oyenera. Tikupatsirani chidule cha zitsanzo 15 zofala kwambiri zachinyengo mu maubwenzi.
Ubwenzi wonyenga ndi wosakhazikika, pomwe mnzanu amayembekezera chisamaliro chambiri kuchokera kwa inu ndipo zinthu zimayenda mwachangu kwambiri kotero kuti simungathe kuthana ndi zomwe zikuchitika. Kodi mumadziwa bwanji ngati muli muubwenzi wotere kapena ayi? Nazi zitsanzo zina zomwe zingakuthandizeni kukhala ndi malingaliro omveka bwino:
1. Migwirizano ndi mikhalidwe imasintha, kutengera yemwe ali wolakwa
Wosokoneza maganizo amapeza njira yodzilungamitsira zilizonse zomwe amachita koma pamene zinthu zomwezo zikugwira ntchito kwa inu, mawu ndi mikhalidwe imasintha. Chinyengo chotere ndi chimodzi mwa zitsanzo za kusokoneza maganizo pa maubwenzi ndi chimodzi mwa makhalidwe a munthu wonyenga.
Tengani chitsanzo ichi mwachitsanzo. Zikakhala kuti zili ndi mphamvu, zimatengedwa ngati zovomerezeka komanso zachilengedwe. Koma mukakhala ndi nsanje, amakutsutsani ndi mawu onga akuti, “Babe, zonse zili m’maganizo mwako. Mudzayamba kumverera ngati akukuuzirani.
2. Mumamaliza kuchita zomwe akufuna, nthawi iliyonse
Ndipo tikutanthauza, nthawi zonse, nthawi iliyonse. Ngati ubale wanu uli woti zosowa zanu nthawi zonse zimakankhira pambali, mukusokonezedwa maganizo ndipo palibe kukayika za izi. Ngati palibe kumvetsetsana, ndiye kuti mwina pali kusalingana kwa mphamvu mu ubale wanu. Mphamvu zabwino mu ubale ndizofunikira kwambiri, ndipo izi zikuwonekeratu kuti sizikupezeka pamene theka la chikondi limakhala lonyenga.
Mukufuna kutuluka ndi kukachita phwando koma nthawi zonse mumatsimikiza kuti mukhalemo. Mumadya chakudya cha China usiku ndi usiku ngakhale mumakonda chakudya cha Indian. Ngati nthawi zonse ndinu amene amamaliza kupanga kunyengerera, ndiye kuti mukusokonezedwa muubwenzi wanu.
3. Kulira kungakhale chimodzi mwa zitsanzo za chinyengo mu maubwenzi
Akamaliza kulira akasokoneza kapena mkangano uliwonse, akugwiritsa ntchito njira yachikale yonyengelera akazi paubwenzi. Kapena ngati nthawi zonse amalira ndi kunena zinthu monga, "Kodi ndidzakhala bwanji, ngati mutandisiya?", ndi chizindikiro kuti mukukhumudwa kuti mupitirize kukhala.
Ngakhale kulira kungawoneke ngati kufotokozera kwachilengedwe kapena kumasulidwa kwa cathartic, ndi imodzi mwa njira zowonongeka mu maubwenzi. Komanso, kubzala mantha osiyidwa m'maganizo a munthu wina ndi imodzi mwa njira zambiri zosokoneza maubwenzi. Ngati nthawi zambiri mumakhala ndi malingaliro ngati, "Adzandisiya ndikachita izi", zikutanthauza kuti akusewera ndi malingaliro anu.
4. Ukamaliza kupepesa ngakhale alakwa
Ngati savomereza zolakwa zawo ndipo nthawi zonse amapewa kutenga udindo, ndiye kuti mukulimbana ndi njira imodzi yodziwika bwino yosocheretsa anthu muubwenzi. Ngati amachita zinthu mosalakwitsa nthawi zonse ndipo nthawi zonse mumamva ngati ndinu amene muli ndi zolakwika zonse, dziwani kuti akusewera ndi maganizo anu. Kusintha mlandu ndi chimodzi mwa zitsanzo zodziwika bwino za kusocheretsa anthu.
Mutha kupeza kuti muli paulendo wolakwa nthawi zonse, ngakhale pazinthu zomwe mumakonda, monga kuvina kapena kucheza ndi anzanu. Zitsanzo izi zachinyengo m'moyo weniweni ndizodziwika bwino pano. Akhoza kunena zinthu monga, "Kodi mungapite bwanji kumalo ovina, pamene mumayenera kukhala ndi ine?" kapena, “Kodi ine sindiri wokwanira?
5. Anthu ochenjera omwe amadzinamizira kuti ndi abwino amatha kusewera wozunzidwa
Zitsanzo za chinyengo mu maubwenzi ndi monga kudzimvera chisoni ndi kudzidetsa pofuna kupeza chifundo ndi kugwiritsa ntchito kukoma mtima kwanu. Ngati nthawi zambiri amapita ku kuzungulira ngati, "Chifukwa chiyani ndili chonchi? N'chifukwa chiyani mukukhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu woipa ngati ine? Ndimadzida ndekha. Mukuyenera bwino ", ndi chimodzi mwa zitsanzo zazikulu za kusokoneza maganizo mu maubwenzi.
Njira zowononga maubwenzi zingaphatikizepo kuchepetsa kuvutika kwanu ndikupanga mavuto awo kuwoneka aakulu komanso ofunika kwambiri. Ngati apanga chilichonse chokhudza iwo eni pamene mukuyesera kumasuka ndi kukhala pachiwopsezo ndi iwo, ndi chimodzi mwa zitsanzo za chinyengo mu maubwenzi. Mavuto awo ndi mavuto, pamene anu, osati kwambiri.
Mu ubale woterewu, zitsanzo zosokoneza zitha kukhala zambiri; Chitsanzo chimodzi chotere ndi mawu onyoza monga akuti, “Pepani kuti simunasankhidwe pa ntchito imeneyo.
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6. Kugwiritsa ntchito zofooka zanu ndikukhala osatetezeka pa zomwe mumachita bwino
Kutengerapo mwayi pachiwopsezo chanu chamalingaliro ndikugwiritsa ntchito kusatetezeka kwanu motsutsana ndi inu ndi zitsanzo zachinyengo mu ubale. Ngati mutakhala pachiwopsezo ndi wina, mumawakhulupirira kwambiri kuti musagwiritse ntchito mwayi. Ngati atero, mwina si chikondi.
Mwachitsanzo, ngati mumakhudzidwa kwambiri ndi vuto linalake lomwe lidachitika muubwana wanu, ndipo akutsina minyewa imodzi yolakwikayo, mukulimbana ndi njira ina yankhanza kwambiri yochitira maubwenzi. Malinga ndi a Manjari, munthu amatha kukhala osatsimikiza za zomwe mnzakeyo akuchita bwino komanso kugwiritsa ntchito malingaliro olakwika ngati zili choncho.
Iye anati: “Mwachitsanzo, ngati mwamuna adziŵa kuti mkazi wake amalankhulana bwino ndi mkazi wake, angayese kumudula ndi kuzembera makambitsirano pamene okwatiranawo ali ndi mabwenzi kapena achibale, pofuna kungosonyeza kuti iye ndi wamkulu.” Iye angayese kudzutsa chochitika chakale, chosagwirizana, ndi kubwereza mosalekeza mkazi wakeyo.
7. Mukakhala ndi munthu wokonda kunyengerera pachibwenzi, pamapeto pake mumataya makhalidwe abwino.
Ngati mukuona kuti makhalidwe omwe munkawakonda kwambiri asokonekera muubwenziwu, ndipo nthawi zina mumayamba kukayikira ngati muli ndi nzeru, mukusokonezedwa maganizo. Mawu monga akuti “Hei, ndikudziwa kuti simukufuna kugonana, koma mungadziwe bwanji ngati mumakonda kapena ayi ngati simunayese?” kapena, “Bwanji osangotenga ndudu iyi kamodzi kokha, mwina mudzaikonda” ndi zitsanzo za chinyengo chamaganizo muubwenzi.
8. M'dzina la chikondi
Manjari akunena kuti kusokoneza maganizo kungachitike ngati anthu awiri ali ogwirizana. Iye anati: “Anthu ena akhoza kukugwiritsani ntchito koma okhawo amene mumawakonda ndi amene angakusokonezeni maganizo.” Kusokoneza maganizo n’kofala kwambiri.
“Mkazi amapangira pitsa mwamuna wake, ndipo mwamunayo amamugulira miyala yamtengo wapatali/maluwa.” Mwamaganizo mwana amasonkhezera amayi ake kuti atuluke.
Ndipo pali chinyengo chomwe chimabisidwa ngati chikondi. Ngati chibwenzi kapena mkazi wanu akunena kuti, “Mumandikonda eti? Sonyezani zimenezo, musamutsatire mtsikanayu”, ndi chitsanzo chabwino cha chinyengo cha akazi m'maubwenzi. Kapena ngati chibwenzi kapena mwamuna wanu akunena kuti, “Ndikudziwa kuti nthawi zambiri ndimachita nsanje kwambiri koma chifukwa chakuti ndimakukondani kwambiri”, mwamuna akuyesera kukunyengererani m'maganizo. Zonsezi ndi zitsanzo zazikulu za chinyengo chomwe chimabisidwa ngati chikondi . Kodi zochita zawo ndi mawu awo zimagwirizana? Zimenezo ndi zanu kuti muzindikire.
9. Amakupangitsani kudziona kuti ndinu oipa
Zitsanzo za chinyengo mu maubwenzi zingaphatikizepo kudzudzula kosalekeza ndi nkhanza kuti muchepetse kudzidalira kwanu. Mukhoza kuyamba internalizing subtext kuti iwo ali bwino ndipo amadziwa zambiri, koma ndi njira yawo yopezera mphamvu pa inu kuti adzimve kukhala apamwamba. “Tamverani, siketi imeneyo si yayifupi kwambiri? kapena, “Bwanji, mukanawoneka bwino mukanakhala wamtali!” ndi zitsanzo zina zosokoneza maganizo.
10. Kupezerera: Chitsanzo cha chinyengo pa maubwenzi
Kufuula ndi kugwiritsa ntchito mawu kapena machitidwe onyoza anthu ndi zitsanzo za chinyengo muubwenzi. Kukwiya kwawo ndi chizolowezi chawo chopanga malo ochititsa manyazi ndi zida zokupangitsani kukhala ndi mantha kwambiri mpaka kusiya kulankhula nokha, chifukwa cha mantha. Uku ndi kuzunzana maganizo kapena pagulu. Ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zomwe mnzanuyo ali nazo.
Njira ina yopezerera anzawo ndiyo kupezerera ena mwanzeru, pamene munthu amakupangitsani kumva ngati akudziwa zambiri za nkhaniyo kuposa inuyo. Mwachitsanzo, "Kodi ndinu osayankhula kapena chiyani? Ndizovuta bwanji kuti ubongo wanu ugwire izi?"
11. Amapotoza mawu ako;
Munayamba mwamvapo ngati chilichonse chomwe munganene chimatanthauziridwa molakwika, kutembenuzika, kutaya tanthauzo lake loyambirira, ndikutha kukhala china chake chonse? Chabwino, ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zitsanzo za chinyengo mu maubwenzi. Wokondedwa wanu akhozanso kuchepetsa zolakwa kapena khalidwe lawo kuti apindule ndi kukoma mtima kwanu. Zitsanzo zosokoneza maganizo? Ngati anena zinthu motsatira mfundo yakuti, “Ndinachita molakwa. Koma inu mukundidziwa, sichoncho?
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12. Manja akulu: Chimodzi mwazitsanzo zodziwika bwino za chinyengo mu maubwenzi
Mukukumbukira momwe Nate (kuchokera mu pulogalamu ya Euphoria ) ankamupatsa Maddy malaya okwera mtengo ndi zovala zamkati kuti abwezere chibwenzi chake chankhanza komanso chakuthupi chomwe chinali nacho? Umenewo ndi umodzi mwa mitundu ya maubwenzi onyenga. Maulendo okwera mtengo, chakudya chamadzulo, ndi kuyamikira anthu onse ndi zitsanzo za chinyengo muubwenzi ndi munthu wonyoza kapena woopsa.
Izi nthawi zambiri zimakhala zizindikiro za kudzikonda kosafunikira, kudzimva kuti ndi wolakwa, komanso makhalidwe odzikonda chifukwa munthu wokonda kupatsa maganizo amayembekezera kuti “kupatsa” kwake kuzindikirike. Amangofuna kuti akudalireni kuti athe kukuwongolerani mtsogolo. Zili ngati ‘akukugulani’ koma mwanjira yanzeru kwambiri. M’mutu mwawo, palibe vuto kukuchitirani zinthu zopanda chifundo bola ngati akulipira ndalama.
13. Amakugwiritsani ntchito pa zofuna zawo
Zosowa zamaganizo zomwe sizinakwaniritsidwe zimagwera pansi pa zitsanzo zosokoneza maganizo. Amayembekeza kuti muziwonekera nthawi zonse, koma mukawafuna, sapezeka. Manjari akunena kuti pakhoza kukhala kusokoneza maganizo pakati pa abwenzi. Iye anati: “Tangoganizani A ndi B ali zibwenzi zapamtima, ndipo mnyamata wina, C, amabwera n’kuyandikira A. Tsopano, ngati B ayesa kukhala paubwenzi ndi mnyamatayo, ndiye kuti akumusokoneza maganizo ndi kubera mnzake.”
14. Zitsanzo zachinyengo m’maubwenzi: Kugenda miyala ndi kukhala chete
Ponena za njira zosokoneza maubwenzi, ' kusokoneza ', komwe mnzanu m'modzi amakana kulankhulana ndi mnzake ndipo amachoka pa zokambirana, ndi chinthu chofala. Iye amagwiritsa ntchito chete kuti akulamulireni ndikukupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu wolakwa pa khalidwe lanu.
Mizimu, kukumbukira kosankha, ndi mabodza osasiya ndi zitsanzo zina zosokoneza malingaliro. Njira inanso yopulumutsira ndi kumenya mosayembekezeka - samawonetsa kuti ali okwiya koma mayendedwe ndi zochita zawo zimawonetsa mokweza kuposa mawu aliwonse.
15. Nthawi zonse kusewera otentha ndi ozizira
Monga nyimbo ya Katy Perry imati, "Mumasintha malingaliro anu ngati mtsikana amasintha zovala ... chifukwa ndinu otentha, ndiye mukuzizira, ndinu inde, ndiye ayi ...". Chimodzi mwazinthu zodziwikiratu za munthu wonyenga ndikuti amakhala ndi kusinthasintha kwamphamvu ndipo sadziwa zomwe zikubwera.
Mitundu ya maubwenzi opondereza ndi monga momwe kusinthasintha kwa maganizo kwa mnzako kumakhala koopsa kwambiri kotero kuti kukwera kumakhudza kwambiri maganizo ndipo kutsika kumakhala kokhumudwitsa. Ngati ubale wanu umasinthasintha nthawi zonse pakati pa chisangalalo ndi zowawa, ndiye kuti muli mumkhalidwe wosokoneza maganizo.
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Tsopano taona njira zingapo zosokoneza maubwenzi, tiyenera kupitiriza ndikumvetsetsa zizindikiro kuti muli ndi munthu wonyenga muubwenzi. Chomwe chili ndi anthu opusitsa ndikuti simuwona nthawi yomweyo momwe angakunyengeni.
Nthawi zonse azichita ngati amakukondani moona mtima. Popeza nthawi zonse amakhala osowa ndipo atayima okha mu phwando lawo lachifundo, simungachitire mwina koma kumva chisoni chifukwa cha iwo. Amachita zinthu moponderezedwa komanso achisoni kwambiri moti simungaganize kuti munthu wotereyu angakhale ndi mlandu wochita misala. Ndipo ndi pamene tonse timalakwitsa. Ndicho chifukwa chake muyenera kumvetsetsa zizindikiro kuti muli ndi mnzanu wonyenga.
1. Nthawi zambiri amanena zinthu zochititsa chidwi kwambiri
Mukakhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu wokonda kunyengerera, mudzawona momwe samanena chilichonse chomveka kapena chowunikira. Chilichonse chomwe amalankhula kapena kuchita chimayendetsedwa ndi malingaliro komanso zambiri. Izi zimawapangitsa kuti azinena zinthu zochititsa chidwi kwambiri zomwe mwina siziyenera kunenedwa panthawiyo.
Zikumveka zachilendo, koma chifukwa chofuna kuwasamalira , mungasiye. Adzagwiritsa ntchito cholakwika chilichonse chomwe angachite kuti adzitemberere kapena kudzikopa chidwi. Pazochitika zoyipa kwambiri, angawopseze kudzipha ngati akumva kukhumudwa kapena kusamvedwa ndi inu.
2. Munthu wopusitsa pachibwenzi amangopanga nkhani
Anthu onyenga, omwe akufuna chidwi chanu, nthawi zina amathanso kukhala kapena amafanana ndi abodza. Mudzaona kuti m’kupita kwa nthawi, nkhani kapena nkhani zimene amakuuzani zimasiya kukhala zomveka. Atha kungopanga zochitika m'mutu mwawo zomwe zimakwaniritsa zokonda zawo, ndikudyetsa kwa inu.
Chifukwa cha chikondi, poyamba, mukhoza kungokhulupirira zonse zomwe amakuuzani. Koma posachedwa, mudzayamba kuzindikira zolakwika m'nkhani zawo. Akhoza kunena kuti anali otanganidwa kucheza ndi mnzawo, koma kunena zoona, anali kunyumba. Kapena atha kudziwonetsera okha pamaso panu ndikukuuzani kuti adachita chidwi ndi ntchito pomwe palibe chomwe chidachitikapo.
3. Adzachita osowa kwambiri
Mwina chinthu chotopetsa kwambiri pokhala paubwenzi ndi munthu wopupuluma n’chakuti adzakufunani nthawi zonse. Nthawi zonse mukakhala kuntchito kapena kukakamira pamisonkhano, muyenera kuyembekezera zolemba zambiri kuchokera kwa iwo akudabwa komwe muli kapena chifukwa chiyani simukuwalembera mameseji.
Zimafika poipa kwambiri mukamacheza ndi anzanu. Atha kukuimbirani / kukulemberani mameseji osayimitsa ndikukupemphani kuti musiye chilichonse ndikubwera kunyumba. Zifukwa zawo zingakhale zoti amakusowani kapena ali achisoni kwambiri ndipo amakufunani.
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4. Anthu omwe amakunyengererani nthawi zonse amayesa kukuvutitsani
Chimodzi mwa makhalidwe a munthu wokonda kulamulira ena ndi chakuti amakonda kukhumudwitsa ena. Nthawi iliyonse mukakangana kapena mukasiyana maganizo pa nkhani inayake, amayesa kukukakamizani kuti muwapezere chifukwa cha nkhaniyo komanso momwe mukuwapezera machenjerero. Izi zingakupangitseni kuti nthawi zonse muzikayikira zomwe mukuchita zolakwika muubwenzi wanu.
Chimodzi mwa zitsanzo za chinyengo mu maubwenzi ndi pamene inu awiri mumalavulira pang'ono pa chinachake, mnzanu wonyenga nthawi zonse amachoka pamutu womwe uli nawo ndikupeza zinthu zina zomwe zingakutsutseni. M'malo movomereza kuti wachita cholakwika, nthawi zonse amapatutsira zokambiranazo ku mitu yomwe imakupangitsani kumva kuti mukuipitsitsa mpaka mfundo yeniyeni ya zokambiranayo itatayika.
5. Kusayankhula ndi chida chomwe amakonda kugwiritsa ntchito
Anthu okonda kuseka omwe amadzionetsera kuti ndi abwino kwenikweni ndi osavuta kuwakwiyitsa. Angawoneke ngati akumvetsetsa komanso okoma mtima kwa inu pamene akufuna, koma mukangowakwiyitsa kapena chinachake sichikuwalepheretsa, mavuto onse amabuka. Ndipo nthawi zambiri, amakusiyani chete akukuyembekezerani kuti nthawi zonse muwafikire ndikuwapepesa.
6. Ubwenzi umayamba kukhala wotopetsa
Osati kokha chifukwa chakuti mumaona kuti n’zotopetsa kulimbana ndi maganizo awo, komanso chifukwa chakuti amaoneka kuti akutopetsani ndi zofuna ndi zosowa zawo zanthaŵi zonse kwa inu. Amafunikira kuti nthawi zonse muzichita zinthu, kuyankha komanso kukhala mwanjira inayake. Ndipo muyenera kutsatira zofuna zawo nthawi zonse. Kuchokera kuzinthu zazing'ono mpaka zazikulu - ndi njira yawo kapena msewu waukulu.
Pakapita nthawi, mudzazolowera kutsatira zomwe akufuna, kotero kuti simungaganizirenso njira ina. Kaya ndikusankha zomwe anyamata muyenera kudya pa chakudya chamadzulo kapena kusankha komwe mungapite kukachita Thanksgiving, chilichonse chimayamba kumva ngati chintchito chifukwa simupezanso njira yanu.
7. Kukhala wongochita mwaukali
Chimodzi mwa zitsanzo za kunyenga mu maubwenzi ndi kuchita zinthu mwankhanza kuti mukope chidwi chanu kapena kungokwiyitsani mosafunikira. Anthu omwe amagwiritsa ntchito njira zonyenga muubwenzi, amachita izi mobwerezabwereza. Nthawi iliyonse mukachita cholakwika (mwina simukudziwa kuti ndi cholakwika), m'malo mokhala okhwima ndikukuuzani zakukhosi, mnzanuyo amayamba kukwiya mwachibwana.
Mutha kuwawona akudumphadumpha mnyumba kukuwonetsani kuti akhumudwitsidwa kapena kukusiyani mukuwerenga panthawi yotumizirana mameseji. Mwinanso amasiya mbale zili zauve kapena kuyiwala kuti apinda zovala zanu ngakhale apinda zawo. Zitha kuwoneka ngati zopusa koma izi ndizozama ndipo zimatha kuwononga kwambiri.
8. Sadzakulolani kuti mufotokoze nkhawa zanu
Makamaka ngati zikuyenera kuchita nawo kanthu. Anthu omwe amawongolera amakonda kuwongolera nkhaniyo. Chotero ngati muwadzudzula kapena kuwatsutsa kapena kunena maganizo otsutsa, iwo adzanyalanyaza nkhaŵa zanu. Patsiku labwino, amanyalanyaza, koma tsiku lokhazikika, adzakulepheretsani.
Apa ndipamene mungayambe kumva kuti ndinu ocheperapo pachibwenzi komanso ngati mnzanuyo sakukumverani. Pali kuyesayesa kochuluka komwe kumapita posunga maubwenzi - kumvetsera ndi kumvetsetsa munthu wina ndi gawo lalikulu la izo. Koma mukakhala ndi munthu wokonda kuchita zinthu mwaubwenzi, simudzaloledwa kulankhula bwinobwino.
Kodi Muyenera Kuchita Chiyani Ngati Mukusokonezedwa M'malingaliro?
Kudziwa vuto ndi theka la njira yothetsera vutoli. Mukangozindikira ndikuzindikira zitsanzo zachinyengo mu maubwenzi, izi ndi zomwe muyenera kuchita.
1. Yesetsani kuchitira chifundo, koma khalani wololera kuchokapo
Dziwani kuti palibe vuto ndi inu. Akungosonyeza kuvulala kwawo. Choncho khalani okoma mtima kwa iwo. Manjari akutilangiza kuti tiziwayang'ana mwachifundo anthu okonda kusokoneza maganizo chifukwa chakuti amalira kapena kukwiya pa mkangano uliwonse waubwenzi zingasonyeze kuti ndi ofooka mumtima. Iye akuti pankhaniyi, ndi bwino kukambirana nkhani zovuta panthawi yoyenera komanso pamene zili bwino.
Iye anati: “Munthu wotero amafunikira chichirikizo, kumvetsetsa, ndi kulemekeza malingaliro ake. Mnzawoyo ayenera kuyesetsa kulimbana ndi nyonga zake ndi kuphunzira kuwongolera zofooka zake.” Ndi chizindikiro chofiira pamene kutengeka maganizo kumaonekera monga kudzikuza, nsanje ndi kupezerapo mwayi pa kutengeka maganizo.
Koma chifundo sikutanthauza kupirira khalidwe loipa limene lingawononge thanzi lanu la maganizo ndi maganizo. Khalani okonzeka kuchoka ngati ubalewu sukuthandizani kuti mukhale mtundu wabwino kwambiri wa inu nokha. Ndikhulupirireni, mudzathokoza nokha.
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2. Dzikhulupirireni nokha ndi omwe ali pafupi nanu
Kodi muli ndi mawu aang'ono m'maganizo mwanu omwe amakuuzani kuti chinachake sichili bwino? Kodi izi zimangobwerezabwereza kuti muyenera kuchita bwino? Dzichitireni zabwino ndikudalira. Nzeru zanu sizingakusokeretseni. Komanso, funsani upangiri kwa anzanu ndi abale anu enieni kuti muwone zitsanzo zachinyengo mu maubwenzi. Iwo amakudziwani ndipo amadziwa mmene muyenera kuchitiridwa zinthu zabwino. Aloleni iwo akutsogolereni inu.
“Yang’anani zizindikiro za ubale wabwino: ubwenzi wapamtima, kudzipereka, kusasinthasintha, kulinganiza, kupita patsogolo, makhalidwe ofanana, chikondi, chisamaliro, kudalirana, ndi ulemu. Mvetserani mabelu aliwonse ochenjeza omwe akukuvutitsani ndipo mverani anzanu ndi achibale omwe amadziwika kuti amakufunirani zabwino. Musawanyalanyaze, ngakhale mutakhala kuti mukufuna kutero,” akulemba Adelyn Birch mu 30 Covert Emotional Manipulation Tactics: How Manipulators Take Control In Personal Relationships.
3. Ikani malire anu
Ngati ndinu munthu wosavuta kumva ndipo anthu nthawi zambiri amapezerapo mwayi chifukwa cha kusadziwa kwanu, yambani kuima m'moyo ndikuphunzira kukhazikitsa malire amalingaliro muubwenzi . Anthu angapindule pokhapokha ngati muwalola. Yambani kukhala olimba pa zomwe mukufuna. Zingakhale zosavuta monga kuyitanitsa chakudya chomwe mwasankha ku lesitilanti. Zingakhale zovuta monga kusankha mzinda wokhalamo kapena ntchito yomwe mungagwire.
Muuzeni mnzanu zomwe mungathe komanso zomwe simungathe kuzilekerera. Ndiyeno, gwiritsitsani zisankho zimenezo ziribe kanthu. Sadzakulamulirani ngati aona kukhudzika m’maso mwanu ndi m’mawu anu. Mwachitsanzo, ngati simukufuna kuchita, ingonenani. Ndi chimene chikondi chili - kunena zoona, ngakhale zitavuta bwanji.
4. Osayesa kuchita masewerawo
Mukazindikira zitsanzo zachinyengo mu maubwenzi, musatsike pamlingo wawo ndikuyamba kusewera nawo masewera amalingaliro. Dziwani kuti ichi chikhoza kukhala chipika chosatha ndipo mudzataya mtima wanu ndi moyo wanu, kuyesa kuwaposa. Ndinu wabwino kuposa zimenezo. Khalani munthu wamkulu, musataye malo anu. Ngati mutatsatira njira imeneyo, ubale wanu udzakhala woopsa kuposa momwe ulili kale.
5. Pezani chithandizo
Wokondedwa wanu si yekhayo amene amafunikira chithandizo. Inu, kuti mukane kusokoneza maganizo, muyenera kuphunzira zinthu zambiri zomwe mwakhala mukuzikhulupirira, kuyambira paubwana wanu ndi kulera. Ndipo ndi wothandizira yemwe ali ndi chilolezo yekha angakuthandizeni kuti musaphunzire. Atha kukuwonetsani zitsanzo za chinyengo mu maubwenzi, kukuthandizani kuzindikira ngati alipo mwanu komanso choti muchite pakavuta kwambiri.
Kuchiza kungakuthandizeni kukhala munthu wokhazikika, wolimba mtima komanso wodzidalira kwambiri, wokhala ndi kudzidalira komanso wotsimikiza mtima. Iwo, monga akatswiri, amatha kuzindikira machitidwe anu ndikusiya zizolowezi zakale. Alangizi ochokera ku gulu la Bonobology , kuphatikiza Manjari Saboo, angakuthandizeni paulendo wanu wochira.
Zolozera Mfungulo
- Musalole kusonyeza mphamvu kapena zifukwa zosonyeza chikondi, ziloleni kuti zipulumuke ndikukunyengani.
- Akhoza kupotoza mawu anu koma muyenera kudzikhulupirira nokha.
- Kungokhala waukali kapena kusayankhula ndi chida chomwe amachikonda kwambiri.
- Muyenera kukhazikitsa malire amphamvu kuti muthane ndi wonyenga.
- Dziwani kuti ndinu wofunika ndipo chokani ngati pakufunika kutero.
Kusokoneza maganizo kungawononge kudzidalira kwanu ndikukupangitsani kukayikira zenizeni zanu. Mutha kutaya umunthu wanu wakale ndikumadzadza ndi kusatetezeka komanso kudalirika. Chitetezo chanu pamapeto pake chimafooka ndipo mumakhala pachiwopsezo chowonjezereka. Koma, kumbukirani, nthawizonse pali njira yotulukira mu izi. Kumbukirani kuti zochita zimalankhula mokweza kuposa mawu. Komanso musanyalanyaze chibadwa chanu. Musaiwale kuti ndinu woyenera kukondedwa ndi ulemu, nthawi zonse.
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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
Zolembedwa Mokongola ??
Zophunzitsa!