16 Zovuta Za Chibwenzi Ndi Mwamuna Wokwatira

"Ndili pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatiwa ndipo ndasokonezeka! Zinali zachilendo, poyamba, anali wodekha, komanso womvetsetsa, ndipo amandikonda kwambiri kuposa wakale wanga wakale. Takhala pamodzi kwa miyezi 11 ndipo ndakhala ndikumukonda kwambiri. Ndimadutsa m'mikhalidwe yokhutira ndi iye kufuna zambiri kuposa kungokhala mkazi winayo. Amandiwonongera moyo wanga. misala chonde thandizani. Wowerenga analembera gulu lathu la aphungu, kufuna uphungu wa mmene angayendetsere ubale wake ndi mwamuna wokwatira.

Sali yekha yekha. Pamafunso omwe timalandira ku Bonobology, gawo lalikulu ndi lochokera kwa owerenga omwe akufuna kuthandizidwa kuthana ndi zovuta zamavuto kapena kudziwa momwe angasiyire chibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatira. Mwaona, kuyamba chibwenzi ndi kugonana ndi mwamuna wokwatira kumakhala kosangalatsa poyamba. Amayi ambiri amapeza amuna okwatiwa okongola chifukwa ndi odziwa zambiri, nthawi zambiri amakhala okhwima, okhazikika pazachuma, komanso amadziwa kuchitira akazi moyenera. Komabe, zinthu zimavuta nthaŵi zonse chifukwa chakuti maunansi oterowo amazikidwa pa mabodza ndi chinyengo, ndipo anthu ambiri sangaleke kuloŵerera m’banja n’kumapitirizabe kukhala paubwenzi wina wovuta kwambiri.

Ngati mutakhala pachibwenzi, mungafune zambiri za chibwenzicho, ndipo mwamuna yemwe muli naye mwina sangathe kukupatsani. Zili choncho chifukwa mwamuna wokwatira amene akufuna kukhala pachibwenzi sangafune unansi winanso wanthaŵi yaitali wokhala ndi ndalama zamaganizo ndi kudzipereka. Ngakhale pali zizindikiro zoti mwamuna wokwatiwa amakukondani ndipo mumamukondanso, ubale woterewu sumayenda bwino.

Amuna okwatira ali ndi akazi awo, mabanja awo, ndi maudindo awo—mwina sangakhale ndi malo okwanira m'miyoyo yawo kuti apatse okondedwa awo gawo lawo la chikondi, chisamaliro, ndi nthawi. Kodi muyenera kusokoneza moyo wanu mwa kukhala ndi mwamuna wokwatira? Tiyeni tiwone zotsatira zonse zogona ndi mwamuna wokwatira komanso zovuta zomwe muyenera kudziwa, ndi malingaliro ochokera kwa akatswiri a maubwenzi omwe ali akatswiri pothana ndi kusakhulupirika—katswiri wa zamaganizo Dr. Aman Bhonsle , katswiri wa zamaganizo Mallika Pathak , katswiri wa mabanja Snigdha Mishra.

N'chifukwa Chiyani Amuna Okwatirana Amakumana ndi Mavuto?

Amuna okwatira amakhala ndi chibwenzi pazifukwa zambiri. Atopa, chikondi chatha, ndipo kugonana sikusangalatsa kwenikweni. Kapena mwina, nkhawa ya tsiku ndi tsiku yosamalira banja ndi kusamalira ana ndi makolo okalamba imakhala yolemetsa kwambiri. Okwatirana onse awiri amakhala ndi nthawi yochepa. Alibe mphamvu kapena nthawi yoti wina ndi mnzake azimva kuti ndi apadera.

Kenako panabwera mkazi wina, watsopano komanso wokongola komanso wopatsa chidwi chomwe sanakhale nacho kwa nthawi yayitali. Amamva kugwedezeka mkati. Nthawi zambiri, chibwenzi cha mwamuna sichimakhudzana ndi kukonda kapena kusakonda mwamuna kapena mkazi wake. Ndikungofuna kuyambiranso kumverera kwachikondi ndi kugonana kosangalatsa. Mwamuna wokwatira amene akufuna chibwenzi angakhale akungofuna njira yoti akwaniritse zosowa, zokhumba, ndi zofuna zosakwanira.

Ponena za chifukwa chimene amuna okwatira amachitira chinyengo, Dr. Bhonsle anati: “Nkhani zaubwenzi ndi zapayekha zingapangitse mwamuna wokwatira kunyenga mkazi wake.” Ndipo akutchula zinthu zotsatirazi zomwe zingapangitse mwamuna wokwatira kuyamba chibwenzi:

• Kutopa m'banja
• Kusadzidalira kapena kudzidalira
• Kukana kugonana
• Chisangalalo cha nkhani zachinsinsi
• Kubwezera mkazi wake chifukwa cha zomwe mwina adachita
• Zowawa za ubwana ndi zokumana nazo
• Malingaliro osathetsedwa kwa wakale
• Misogyny

Malinga ndi bungwe la Institute for Family Studies , pafupifupi 20% ya amuna okwatira adanena kuti adanyenga akazi awo. Kafukufukuyu akunenanso kuti amuna omwe amanyenga mwina amafuna kugonana ndi chisamaliro. Malinga ndi kafukufuku wina , chibwenzi ndi maganizo a amuna okwatira chimatiuza kuti amuna omwe ali pamwamba pa makhalidwe odzikonda amakhala ndi mwayi waukulu wonyenga.

N'chifukwa Chiyani Zifukwa Zomwe Zimachititsa Kuti Mkazi Akhale Ndi Chibwenzi Ndi Mwamuna Wokwatiwa?

Monga momwe amuna amachitira chinyengo pazifukwa zosiyanasiyana, pangakhale zifukwa zosiyana zoyendetsa galimoto zomwe zimachititsa kuti mkazi akhale ndi chibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatira. Snigdha akuti, “Akazi amene alibe chilimbikitso m’miyoyo yawo ndi kufuna chisamaliro angaloŵe m’njira imeneyi osalingalira za zovuta za kukhala pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatira.” Kuonjezera apo, kafukufuku wapeza kuti kukhala pabanja kumawonjezera kukopa kwa mwamuna kwa akazi ena.

Kafukufuku wokhudza kusankha munthu wokwatirana naye komanso zotsatira za mphete yaukwati akuti "mwayi woti mkazi asankhe mwamuna winawake umawonjezeka ngati wasankhidwa kale ndi akazi ena. Posachedwapa zanenedwa kuti kukopera kusankha munthu wokwatirana naye kungakhale mbali yofunika kwambiri pa kusankha munthu wokwatirana naye". Zinthu zimenezi zingapangitse mkazi kukonda mwamuna wokwatira mosazindikira. Inde, kusankhako kungalimbikitsidwenso ndi zinthu monga:

• Kukopa mwakuthupi
• Chisangalalo cha kugonana koletsedwa ndi mwamuna wokwatira
• Kusangalala ndi chidwi
• Osafuna kudzipereka

Kwa ena, chibwenzi choterechi chingathandize kwambiri kudzidalira—makamaka akazi omwe sadzidalira . Kudziwa kuti akhoza kukopa mwamuna yemwe ali kale pachibwenzi chodzipereka kumabweretsa chisangalalo chamtundu wina. Izi zitha kukhala mphamvu yayikulu yolimbikitsa mkazi kukhala pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatira. Ngakhale kuti pali zinthu zambiri zosangalatsa zomwe zimamusangalatsa akalawa chipatso choletsedwa, zoona zake n'zakuti nthawi zambiri sichimatha bwino.

Pamene kukankhira kudzafika pa kukankhana ndipo ndi nthawi yosankha, amuna okwatira ambiri amasankha kukhazikika kwa moyo wawo waukwati pa chibwenzi chovuta ndi mkazi wina. Zovuta zimakuchulukirani kuposa momwe zimakhalira ndi mkazi wokwatiwa ndi mwamuna wokwatiwa. Popeza okwatirana onse aŵiri ali pachiwopsezo chochuluka, maubwenzi oterowo samayamba kaŵirikaŵiri kupyola mkangano wachikondi wosangalatsa uja ndi kugonana kodzetsa maganizo ndi mwamuna wokwatiwa kumene kumawapangitsa kudzimva kukhala achichepere, okhumbitsidwa, ndi amphamvu mobwerezabwereza.

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16 Zovuta Za Chibwenzi Ndi Mwamuna Wokwatira

“Chibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatira chingaoneke ngati chosavutirapo ndiponso chosavulaza.” Komabe, m’kupita kwa nthaŵi, chimadzetsa mavuto aakulu. Pali kusalana kochulukira pa maubwenzi otere komanso ochepa omwe angapindule.

Ngakhale mutakhala pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatira amene sakusangalala muukwati wake, maubwenzi otere nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi tsogolo labwino. Ziwerengero zimasonyezanso kuti anthu 5-7% okha ndi omwe amasiya akazi awo n’kupita ku ubale wa nthawi yayitali ndi akazi awo. Vuto lina lofala kwambiri ndikukumana ndi mavuto a maganizo chifukwa chokhala mkazi wina . Ngakhale kuti onse awiri ali ndi udindo wofanana pa chibwenzicho, mlandu woyesa kuswa banja ndikuwononga maubwenzi umagwera pa mkazi winayo.

Zonsezi ndi nsonga chabe ya kuipa kwa kukhala pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatira kapena ngakhale kugwa m’chikondi ndi mmodzi. Tiyeni tidutse 16 zovuta zotere za kukhala pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatira. Izi zingakupangitseni kuyang'ana mozama komanso mozama momwe mungapangire chibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatira kufunafuna chibwenzi:

1. Sadzakhalapo kwa inu

Monga mwamuna amene ali ndi mkazi ndi banja, amathera nthaŵi yake yambiri yopuma ali nawo. Mukhala ola limodzi mofinyidwa muno kapena meseji pamenepo. Simudzakhala patsogolo pake. Patchuthi ndi tchuthi, adzasowa m'moyo wanu, osalembanso mameseji, chifukwa "Bwanji akawerenga?" 

Malamulo okwatirana ndi mwamuna wokwatira si aliyense. Muyenera kuvomereza ndi kupanga mtendere ndi malire omwe amaika, ngakhale izi zikutanthauza kumverera kuti watayidwa, wogwiritsidwa ntchito, kapena ngati chinsinsi chake chaching'ono chonyansa. Marie, wa ku New York amene pomalizira pake anachita chibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatira yemwe anali ndi ana, anati: “Iye analoŵa ndi kutuluka m’moyo wanga mmene anafunira. 

"Ngati mkazi wake ndi ana ake anali kutali kapena otanganidwa kwinakwake, tinkatha kukhala limodzi kwa sabata imodzi kapena kupita kumapeto kwa sabata. Banja lake likaonekera, ankasowa kwa masiku kapena milungu ingapo popanda chifukwa chilichonse. Pamene ndinkayamba kumukonda kwambiri, zinandivuta kwambiri kuthana ndi kusapezeka kwake. Ndinayenera kusiya." Inde, zinthu zimenezi zimakhala zovuta kwambiri ngati anthu awiri okwatirana ayamba chibwenzi.

2. Simungamupangitse kukumana ndi achibale anu ndi anzanu

Chibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatira chimakhala ngati ubale wachinsinsi womwe muyenera kuusamalira ndi moyo wanu. Chinsinsichi chimawonjezeka kwambiri ngati mkazi wokwatira ali pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatira. Ngakhale patakhala zizindikiro zoti mwamuna wokwatira akukukondani ndipo ndiye chikondi cha moyo wanu, simungakondwerere ubalewo ndi banja lanu kapena anzanu. Kodi mungamudziwitse bwanji mayi kapena abambo anu, mlongo wanu wamng'ono kapena mchimwene wanu?

Dr. Bhonsle anati: “Ngakhale mutawatsimikizira makolo anu, kodi mukuganiza kuti adzakhala womasuka kukumana nawo?” Mwina ayi.” Ubwenzi umenewu suyenera kungokhala pa makoma anayi a chipinda cha hotelo kapena nyumba yanu. 

3. Sangakuonetseni kwa Abwenzi kapena achibale ake

Iwalani za iye kukupangitsani inu kukumana ndi abwenzi ake kapena achibale, iye mwina sangafune kuti mukhale bwenzi lake pa chikhalidwe TV. Adzapewa kupereka ndemanga kapena kukonda zolemba zanu kapena ma tweets ndipo adzafuna kuti inunso muchite chimodzimodzi. Ndiwe "mkazi wina" m'moyo wake, ndipo adzasunga ubale wanu.

Simungathe kusangalala ndi kanema m'bwalo lamasewera otchuka kapena kusangalala ndi chakudya chamadzulo m'malesitilanti abwenzi ndi abale ake pafupipafupi. Kuteteza moyo wake waukwati nthawi zonse kumakhala patsogolo kuposa malingaliro anu. Zidzakhala ngati akuchita manyazi kuwonedwa nanu pagulu. Zoona zake n’zakuti mwina amachita mantha ndi manyazi pokhala nanu.

"Nthawi zonse kubisala ndi kubisika ndi chimodzi mwa zinthu zopweteka kwambiri pa chibwenzi. Chilakolako chofuna kukhala pa chibwenzi chikayamba kutha, zenizeni zoyamba chibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatira zimayamba kuonekera, ndipo sizili bwino," akutero Mallika. Pamenepo ndi pamene kusudzulana ndi mwamuna wokwatira ndi kusamalira mtima wosweka kumayamba kuoneka ngati mwayi wabwino kuposa kupitiriza chibwenzicho.

4. Simudzadziwitsidwa ngati bwenzi lake kapena wokondedwa

Marsha, loya wachinyamata wopambana, adapanga chibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatira, mnzake wamkulu ku kampani yake ya zamalamulo, yemwe anali wokwatira ndipo anali ndi ana awiri. "Ndinachita chibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatira koma sizinathe bwino. Anzanga anayesa kundichenjeza za zotsatira zake, koma sindinazindikire zizindikiro za chikondi ndipo ndinali wosadziwa zambiri moti ndinkakhulupirira kuti zinthu zidzakhala zosiyana kwa ine, kwa ife. Tinali pachibwenzi mpaka pamene sitinakondane."

"Zinsinsi ndi zobisala zinayamba kusokoneza ubalewo, pang'onopang'ono koma motsimikizika. Pamene anakana kupita kukadya pa tsiku lathu loyamba ndipo anatiuza kuti tikonze, ndinadziwa kuti ubalewo sudzatha. Ndinamutaya ndipo sindinayang'ane kumbuyo kuyambira pamenepo," akutero.

Kuopsa kumodzi kokhala pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatiwa ndiko kuwonedwa ndi winawake amene mwina mukumudziŵa. Ngati zimenezi zitachitika, iye sadzazengereza kukusiyani monga mnzako. Ndiye, adzakhala wamanjenje ndi kutaya chidwi cha tsikulo. Malingaliro ake adzakhala pa momwe angaletsere kuwonongeka kwa "ngozi" yomwe yayambitsa. Dzikondeni nokha mokwanira kukana izi.

Mudzadziwitsidwa ngati bwenzi lake, mnzake, msuweni, kapena munthu wina. Izi zitha kukhala zokhumudwitsa kwambiri chifukwa zimatha kuchotsa kudzidalira kwanu, ndikukupangitsani kudzimva kukhala wosafunika. Ena angatsutse kuti kudziwononga kwanu kuli pakati pa zotulukapo zauzimu za kugona ndi mwamuna wokwatira, woipitsidwa kwambiri ndi chenicheni chakuti iye sangazindikire pamene mukumva chisoni. Kwa iye, kubisa kukakhala chinthu chofunika kwambiri.

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5. Nthawi zonse muzisewera filimu yachiwiri kwa mkazi wina

Angakuuzeni kuti amakukondani ndipo angakonde kukhala nanu moyo wake wonse koma ali ndi ana ndi maudindo. Kuti ali ndi mkazi wake chifukwa cha ana ndi chifukwa chachikulu kwambiri m'buku la anthu onyenga . Chowonadi ndi chakuti mkaziyo ndi mkazi wake, ndipo mwina, amakhala pachibwenzi mwakuthupi komanso m'maganizo. Mkazi wake nthawi zonse adzakhala patsogolo pa iye ndipo nthawi zonse amasankha iye kuposa inu.

Nthawi zonse muzisewera fiddle yachiwiri kwa mkazi wina. Ngakhale izi zikumveka zowawa bwanji, zimenezo ndi zotsatira za kukhala pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatira. Ngakhale mutakhala pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatira yemwe sakusangalala m'banja mwake, sangakhale wanu kuti munene. 

6. Sadzadzipereka ku chiyanjano

Mwayi wokhala pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatira kupangitsa kuti amusiye mkazi wake chifukwa cha inu ndi wochepa. Ngakhale atalonjeza kuti auza mkazi wakeyo n’kuchoka, amakokabe mapazi ake. Ngati mukuona khalidwe lake mopanda chifundo, mudzatha kuona zenizeni za kukhala pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatira monga momwe zilili—zomvetsa chisoni ndi zopanda chiyembekezo. 

“Mkazi wanga akumva chisoni ndi imfa ya wokondedwa wake. Ino si nthawi yabwino.” "Ndili ndi nkhawa zambiri kuntchito, sindingathe kuthana nazo pano." "Mayi anga sakupeza bwino, sindingathe kuwachitira izi pano." Padzakhala zowiringula nthawi zonse. Ngakhale pali zizindikiro zomveka kuti mwamuna wokwatiwa amakukondani ndipo akufuna kukhala nanu, kumbukirani kuti misonkho ndi yaikulu ndipo malamulo a alimony ndi olimba.

7. Kubisa ubwenzi wanu kudzakhala kutopa

Lingaliro losunga ubale wanu mwachinsinsi kwa masiku angapo kapena miyezi ingapobe, kukumana kunyumba kwanu kapena chipinda cha hotelo kungakhale kosangalatsa poyamba, koma pakapita nthawi, mudzakhumudwa. Sadzakhala nanu momasuka ku lesitilanti kapena kogulitsa khofi kuopa kuti angawonekere. Koma kumapeto kwa sabata kupita kumalo ochezera komwe palibe amene angamudziwe adzakhala bwino.

Mabodza ndi chinsinsi nthawi zonse, kuletsa kwake kugula galimoto nthawi yomaliza chifukwa cha vuto la m'banja, ndipo muyenera kubisala pa msewu wodutsa msewu chifukwa wina m'galimoto yotsatira amamudziwa, zidzakuvutani kuthana nazo pakapita nthawi. Kaya ndi nkhani yamaganizo kapena yokhudza kugonana, zingayambe kuwononga thanzi lanu la maganizo. "Kubisalira nthawi zonse komanso kubisika kudziko lapansi kungakupangitseni kuyamba kukayikira malo anu m'moyo wake, ndipo pamapeto pake muchepetse kudziona kuti ndinu wofunika. Kuti mudziteteze, muyenera kudziika nokha ndi zosowa zanu patsogolo," akulangiza Snigdha.

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8. Mlandu wowononga banja udzakutafunani

Chimodzi mwazovuta zazikulu za chibwenzi ndi mwamuna kapena kukhala paubwenzi ndikuti chimwemwe chanu chimakhazikika pakuwonongeka kwa munthu wina mosangalala. Sichapafupi kukhala ndi mlandu ndi chisoni cha kuswa nyumba. Pachifukwa ichi, mudzakayikira malingaliro anu a makhalidwe posapita nthawi. Chowonadi chotsimikizika ichi chidzakusungani usiku, kukudzudzulani, ndikulendewera paubwenzi wanu ngati mtambo wakuda. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwazotsatira zauzimu zakugona ndi mwamuna wokwatira zomwe zingakukhudzeni mosasamala kanthu za kusankha kwanu kapena chibwenzicho chikuyenda bwino. 

9. Chibwenzicho sichingavomerezedwe 

Chinthu chokhudza nkhani zobisika ndichakuti sizimakhala zobisika kwa nthawi yayitali. Anthu akamadziwa za ubale wanu ndi mwamuna wokwatira, mudzakumana ndi dziko loipa. Snigdha akutiuza za mlandu womwe adaweruza pomwe mkazi adathetsa chibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatira chifukwa sakanatha kupirira nkhanza ndi chiweruzo zomwe anthu omwe anali nawo pafupi naye adamuchitira.

“Bamboyo anasamuka kunyumba kwake kuti akakhale ndi chibwenzi chake. Komabe, anzake ndi achibale ake sanamulole. Ankapita kukacheza nawo koma popanda iye.” Anandiuza kuti: “Zinandipweteka ngati gehena.” Ana ake achinyamata anaika zinthu zoipa kwambiri pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti. 

Mavuto amene amabwera chifukwa chokhala pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatira akhoza kukhala oipa kwambiri ngati chibwenzicho chaonekera poyera. Kuchitapo kanthu kuti kuvomerezedwe mwalamulo sikumapangitsa kuti banjali lisamanyozedwe ndi anthu. Ndipo mkazi nthawi zambiri amakhala pa mapeto olandira ambiri a nastiness izi. 

10. Mudzakhala osungulumwa komanso okhumudwa

Kuopsa kumodzi mwa kukhala pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatira ndiko kusungulumwa kotheratu. Iye sadzakhala pambali panu, kaya m’nthawi yabwino kapena yoipa. Mudzayamba kuona kusalungama kwa mkhalidwewo posachedwa. Tangoganizani, inuyo ndi amene mumadzimana zinthu zina pamene iye akupeza zonse—chikondi chosangalatsa ndi kugonana ndi inu komanso kutonthozedwa kwa manja a mkazi wake kunyumba. 

Pamene mukukhala nokha kumapeto kwa sabata, iye amasangalala ndi nthawi yabwino ndi mkazi wake. Pamapeto pake, kuzindikira kumeneku kudzakupangitsani kumva chisoni komanso kukhumudwa. Kukwiya komwe kumabwera chifukwa cha izi kudzawononga ubale wanu ndi mnzanu wapabanja. Mungayambe kudzifunsa ngati ali nanu chifukwa chongogonana—ndi kumuneneza. Kukayikira ndi kusakhazikika koteroko ndi zotsatira zofala zogonana ndi mwamuna wokwatira.

11. Mudzakhala ndi nkhani zazikulu zokhulupirira

Monga mnzanu wa mwamuna wokwatira, simudzamva kuti muli otetezeka muukwati. Ngati angawononge chidaliro cha mkazi wake, n’chiyani chingamulepheretse kuchita chimodzimodzi ndi inu? Lingaliro limeneli lidzakuvutitsani maganizo ndipo lidzasiya ubalewo uli wodzaza ndi kukayikira. Sharon, yemwe adathetsa chibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatira, akunena kuti kunama kosalekeza kwa mwamuna wake kunamupangitsa kukhala ndi mavuto okhulupirirana kwambiri , ndipo pamapeto pake adawalekanitsa.

“Anapitirizabe kulonjeza kuti amusiya mkazi wake koma sanatero.” Izi zinandipweteka kwambiri ndipo ndinanyamula mabala amaganizo amenewo m’maubwenzi anga ena. 

Pazimenezi, Dr. Bhonsle anati: “Kusokonekera kwa maganizo kwa amuna okwatira kungachititse akazi kuyamba kudziona ngati wopanda pake komanso kukhala ndi zikhulupiriro zokhalitsa ndi mavuto a kulankhulana.” Iwo mwina sangazindikire n’komwe, koma zonsezi zingathandize kuti munthu awononge maunansi aliwonse amtsogolo.”

12. Mudzaphonya mwayi wanu wokumana ndi mwamuna woyenera

Chimodzi mwa zoopsa zomwe mungakumane nazo chifukwa chocheza ndi mwamuna wokwatira ndichakuti mumagwiritsa ntchito nthawi yanu yamtengo wapatali pokulitsa ubale wopanda chiyembekezo , ndipo potero, mukusowa mwayi wolumikizana bwino ndi munthu amene alipo—mwamaganizo ndi mwanjira ina—ndipo akukufunirani zabwino.

Kugonana ndi mwamuna wokwatiwa kumakudyerani mphete pa chala chanu, munthu woti muzidzuka naye m'mawa uliwonse kapena kugawana naye nyumba. Mukhala zaka zofunika kwambiri za moyo wanu kudikirira kuti mwamunayo akukhazikeni patsogolo, zomwe sizingachitike.

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13. Simudzakhala ndi mnzako amene angaime nanu pazovuta ndi zovuta

Mwamuna wokwatira ali ndi banja lake, ntchito, ndi maudindo ena ambiri. Chifukwa chake, sangakhalepo kuti akuthandizeni pamene mukukumana ndi mavuto ndi zovuta za moyo, kuphatikizapo kusokonezeka maganizo komwe kumachitika chifukwa cha chibwenzicho. Kupatula apo, chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zazikulu za mwamuna amene amanyenga mkazi wake ndichakuti sangathe kuthana ndi mavuto.

Snigdha anati: “Chinthu chimene ankaganiza kuti chikusowa m’banja lake, anafuna kuti muyambe chibwenzi.” M’lingaliro lina, iye anadutsa njira yachidule m’malo mothetsa mavuto a m’banja lake. Popeza amakuonani monga njira yopulumukira ku zovuta zenizeni za moyo wake, mwina sangafune kulimbana ndi zanuzo. M'malo mwake, mutha kuwona kuti amabwerera m'mbuyo nthawi iliyonse akamva kulemera kwa zomwe mukuyembekezera muubwenzi. Tsopano, ngati izi sizikusiyani inu mukudabwa momwe mungasiye chibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatira, sitikudziwa chomwe chidzachitike.  

14. Tangoganizirani nthawi imene sachita chidwi ndi zimene mumamupatsa

Bwanji ngati ubwenziwo utatha? Ndi chimodzi mwa zoopsa za kukhala pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatira zomwe simungazinyalanyaze. Chisangalalo ndi chikondi zidzakhala chizolowezi pakapita nthawi. Palibe kudzipereka, ndipo palibe cholinga chogawana ndi maudindo. Kodi mukuganiza kuti zidzamuvuta bwanji kukuchotsani pa moyo wake? 

Akatero, mudzatsala mukuvutika ndi chisoni komanso kumva ngati mwapatukana pamene iye adzabwerera kwa mkazi wake ndi banja lake ndikupitirizabe ngati kuti palibe chomwe chachitika. Ngati mukukayikira ngati kusudzulana ndi mwamuna wokwatira ndi chinthu choyenera kuchita, ingoganizirani momwe mungamvere mtima wanu ukuponderezedwa ndikutayidwa ngati kuti simukufuna chilichonse kwa iye. Mudzakhala ndi yankho lanu.

15. Iye ali ndi mphamvu zonse mu chiyanjano

Mukakhala pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatira, mphamvu muukwati nthawi zonse zimakhala zosayenera kwa iye. Ngati simulemekeza zofuna zake, mupempha kanthu kwa iye, kapena kungonena zomwe mukuyembekezera, angangochoka kwathunthu, kutumiza uthenga womveka bwino wakuti muyenera kutsatira malamulo ake popanda kupempha chilichonse kuti mubwezere. Popeza sali ndi chidwi kwambiri ndi ubwenziwo, alibe chifukwa choganizira maganizo anu, zomwe mukufuna, kapena zomwe mukuyembekezera. Kwenikweni ndinu wowonjezera pa moyo wake, izi zingamveke ngati zovuta, koma zoona zake ndi zoona.

16. Padzakhala malamulo awiri, wina wake ndi wina kwa inu

Malamulo okwatirana ndi mwamuna wokwatira sakhala achilungamo ndipo sikudzakhala mgwirizano wofanana. Iye adzasankha pamene mukumana, pamene mulankhulana, mmene mumathera nthaŵi yanu pamodzi. Atha kukhala ndi ufulu wotumizirana mameseji, kuyimba foni, ndi kukonza masiku momwe angafunire, koma nthawi zonse pamakhala malamulo okhudza nthawi yomwe mungathe komanso simungathe kumulankhula. 

Ngakhale mkazi wokwatiwa atakhala pachibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatiwa , mungazindikire kuti ngakhale akuyembekezera kuti mulemekeze malire ake, iyenso sangalemekeze anu. Angadandaule za ukwati wake kapena kugwiritsa ntchito malonjezo a banja lake ngati chifukwa chokuthandizani, simuli ndi zinthu zabwino zofanana. Padzakhala malamulo awiri muubwenzi uwu, limodzi la iye ndi lina la inu. Izi zingakupangitseni kumva ngati cholinga chanu chonse ndikumusangalatsa.

Zotsatira Za Chibwenzi Ndi Mwamuna Wokwatira

Chibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatira chimabweretsa mavuto. Mudzakhala munthu wosakhalitsa m'moyo wake ndipo pamapeto pake mudzamva kuti ndinu nokha, simunasamalidwe muubwenziwo , komanso kuti mwagwiritsidwa ntchito. Zinthu zomvetsa chisoni, mwamuna wokwatira akukuimbani mlandu chifukwa cha chibwenzicho, mkazi wake akukuopsezani kuti akuphunzitseni phunziro, banja lanu ndi anzanu akumva manyazi nanu—zonsezi ndi zotsatirapo zoipa zobwera chifukwa chocheza ndi mwamuna wokwatira.

Tisaiwale za kuwonongeka kwanthawi yayitali komwe kungayambitse zibwenzi. Mutha kukhala odzidalira kwambiri chifukwa chozemba chilichonse chomwe muyenera kuchita, ndipo mutha kukhala ndi vuto lalikulu lokhulupirirana. Nthawi zambiri, zinthu zotere sizimatsogolera kulikonse ndikukusiyani ndi katundu wambiri wamalingaliro. 

Muyenera kukhala olimba m'malingaliro kuti musakane kapena kuthetsa chibwenzicho. Sizingakhale zophweka koma ngati mutakhazikika pamenepo, zinthu zidzayamba kuyenda bwino. Mukangopanga malo, wina adzawonekera kuti atenge. Mudzapeza amene akukufunani monga momwe mukufunira. Muli ndi ufulu wokhala ndi ubale wosangalatsa komanso wathanzi, pitirirani kuzifunafuna.

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.