9 Izinkinga Cishe Wonke Umbhangqwana Ubhekana Nazo Phakathi Nonyaka Wokuqala Womshado

Unyaka wokuqala womshado cishe unzima kakhulu. Nisafunda ukulungisa nokuqondana, futhi nithole isigqi sempilo yenu enihlanganyelwe ngayo njengombhangqwana oshadile. Izinkinga zonyaka wokuqala womshado zivame kakhulu. Isihluthulelo sokungavumeli unyaka wokuqala wezinkinga zomshado uthinte isibopho sakho ukuwukhulisa ngothando, uthando, ukuqonda nokuzibophezela.

Esikhundleni sokuba usanda kushada futhi ube lusizi, kumelwe wazi ukuthi ungazisingatha kanjani izinkinga eziphakama phakathi nonyaka wokuqala womshado futhi wenze imizamo yokwenza umshado wakho uphumelele. Phela umshado uwumsebenzi wokuphila konke.

Ukuze sikusize uqonde ukuthi ungadlula kanjani unyaka wokuqala womshado futhi uhlale ulwa ohambweni lwakho lomshado, sixoxe nodokotela wengqondo olulekayo uGopa Khan ukuze uthole amathiphu nezeluleko ezisebenzayo.

Izinkinga Eziyisi-9 Wonke Umbhangqwana Obhekana Nazo Onyakeni Wokuqala Womshado

Uma usebudlelwaneni, uvame ukubeka indlela yakho yokuziphatha okuhle phambi komlingani wakho. Kodwa uma usushadile, izibopho ezintsha kanye nomzabalazo wansuku zonke owengeziwe kungenza kube nzima ukuba njalo inguqulo yakho engcono kakhulu. Ngaphandle kwalokho, umshado awuphumeleli othandweni kuphela, kodwa nangezingxabano nokulwa. Okudingeka ngempela ukuze udlule unyaka wokuqala womshado futhi wakhe isisekelo esiqinile ukuqonda indlela yokuba nezingxoxo ezinzima ngenhlonipho.

Ephawula ngokuthi kungani izinkinga zobudlelwane onyakeni wokuqala beshadile zivame kangaka, uGopa uthi, “Ukushada nokuhlala ndawonye kufana nokuthuthela kwelinye izwe elihluke ngokuphelele futhi lijwayelane nesiko lalo, ulimi kanye nendlela yalo yokuphila.” Ngeshwa, lapho abantu beshada, abaqapheli ukuthi ukuphila kuzoshintsha kakhulu kubo.

Imibhangqwana eminingi esemisha ilindele ukuba ukuphila kufane nezinsuku zayo zokuphola, okwakuhilela ukuphuma bayoshayela izimoto ezinde, ukudla okukhanyiswe emakhandleleni nokugqoka izingubo, futhi yilapho izinkinga eziningi ziqala khona.”

Lolu shintsho alwenzi lula. Yingakho kubalulekile ukukhuluma ngokuthi kungani unyaka wokuqala womshado unzima kakhulu. Ukuxoxa ngezinye zezinkinga cishe wonke umbhangqwana obhekana nazo ngenkathi uzilungiselela impilo yomshado kungase kukunike ithuba lokuzixazulula:

1. Kuyoba khona umehluko phakathi kokulindela kanye neqiniso

Ngaso sonke isikhathi khumbula ukuthi umuntu ngaphambi komshado nangemva kwalokho kuyoba okuhluke ngandlela-thile. Abalingani ngokuvamile benza umzamo omkhulu wokujabulisana ngaphambi komshado. Kodwa lapho nje beshada, ukunaka kwabo kuvame ukuhlukana ngenxa yeminye imithwalo yemfanelo, kungaba okomuntu siqu noma umsebenzi.

Ungase ubone izinguquko kumlingani wakho ongazange uzibone ngaphambilini. Lezi zinguquko zingase zingakuthandi. Ngakho-ke, kuyalulekwa ukuthi uzame ukugcina okulindelweyo kungokoqobo ukuze ugweme ukudumazeka ngonyaka wokuqala womshado.

UGopa uthi, “Lo mehluko omkhulu phakathi kwezinto ezilindelekile nezingokoqobo ungaba inselele emibhangqwaneni emisha ngenkathi izama ukuthola ukulinganisela onyakeni wokuqala womshado.” Ngokuvamile ezimisweni, umuntu uhlangana nabesifazane abasebasha abahlakaniphile abazimele, abalindele ukunakwa okungahlukanisiwe kwabashade nabo noma balindele ukuba isizinda sezwe labashade nabo okuyinto engenangqondo.

Kwesinye isenzakalo, umbhangqwana waba ne-honeymoon edabukisayo, njengoba inkosikazi yayingamazisi umngane womshado ukuba aphuze ubhiya.” Ngokungazelele, ngesonto lokuqala lomshado wabo kwaba nesihloko esithi “Dos & Don’ts.” Ngakho, kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi umshado awusho “ukuphatha amaphoyisa” umlingani wakho wokuphila.”

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2. Uhlangabezana nokuntula ukuqonda phakathi nonyaka wokuqala womshado

Khumbulani ukuthi ubudlelwano benu busha kini nobabili ngakho-ke ukuqondana phakathi kwenu kungase kungabi namandla kakhulu. “Indlela oyijwayele noma kabi ngayo ekuphileni komshado kuncike ekuvuthweni kwabantu emshadweni.” Uma kunenhlonipho, uzwela, uzwela nokwethembana, noma ibuphi ubuhlobo buyophumelela ngokuphawulekayo.

“Inkinga iba lapho umlingani oyedwa enquma ukuthi inguqulo yakhe “iyindlela elungile.” Iklayenti lami laphelelwa umsebenzi njengoba lalingasenamsebenzi wokugxila emsebenzini njengoba lalihlale lithola izingcingo ezivela kumkakhe nomama bekhala kuye ngomunye nomunye. Lolu hlobo lokungezwani nengcindezi nsuku zonke lulimaza kakhulu noma ibuphi ubuhlobo,” kusho uGopa.

Ukuze ugweme ingozi yokuchitheka komshado ngemva kwezinyanga eziyisithupha noma ngaphansi, zama ukuqonda. Kufanele uqonde ukuguquguquka kobudlelwano bakho bomshado futhi ulungise lapho kungenzeka khona ukuze ube nomshado ohlala njalo nojabulisayo.

3. Unyaka wokuqala emshadweni awazi ukuthi udwebe kuphi umugqa

Njengoba abantu ababili abahlukene behlangana ukuze babelane ngezimpilo zabo, inhlonipho kufanele ibe yisisekelo sobudlelwano. Kodwa isikhathi esiningi, abalingani bavame ukuthathana kalula, bahluleke ukuhlonipha imingcele yomunye nomunye ngonyaka wokuqala womshado futhi bahlala belwa . Ngezinye izikhathi, udidekile ngemizwa yakho, usho izinto ezibuhlungu futhi ungaqiniseki ukuthi uzodweba kuphi umugqa.

Eluleka ngokuqinile ngokuphathelene nonyaka wokuqala womshado kanye nendlela yokulwa njalo, uGopa uthi, “Imvamisa okwenzeka onyakeni wokuqala womshado kubeka isibonelo kuyo yonke impilo yomshado. Ngakho-ke, kubalulekile ukubeka imingcele kusenesikhathi.

"Onyakeni wokuqala sishadile, iklayenti layeka umsebenzi lathatha ikhefu emsebenzini othembisayo ukuze libe nomlingani walo. Futhi lalingakaze lixoxe ngakho nganoma iyiphi imininingwane futhi kwacatshangwa ukuthi ikhasimende lami, njengoba lingowesifazane, kuzodingeka liyeke umsebenzi walo futhi lihambe noma nini lapho kudingeka. Lezi zinyathelo zokuqala emshadweni wabo zabeka isibonelo sokuthi umsebenzi walo wawungabalulekile kangako."

4. Ukungazibophezeli

"Ukuze uphumelele onyakeni wokuqala womshado neminyaka eminingi emva kwalokho khumbula ukuthi uthola umaqondana impilo yakho yonke. Ngiye ngizwe izikhalazo zamakhosikazi ngokuthi umyeni akachithi isikhathi nabo noma nezingane noma akabakhiphi uma beye eholidini. Umsuka walezi zinkinga ungalandelelwa kuze kufike onyakeni wokuqala womshado uqobo. Zonke lezi zinkinga zikhula ngokuhamba kwesikhathi kuze kube yilapho sekuba "indaba" ku-egopa.

Iminyaka yokuqala yomshado iyizici zokwakha ukuphila komshado okujabulisayo. Kudinga uthando nokuzinikela okukhulu nhlangothi zombili. Uma untula, kuzodala izinkinga emshadweni wakho. Umlingani wakho noma wena ungase unganikeli ukunakekelwa okudingekayo ebudlelwaneni futhi ube matasa ngokubhekana neminye imisebenzi yempilo yomshado. Lokhu kuntuleka kokuzibophezela kungase kugcine konakala ubuhlobo.

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5. Ukulungiswa kanye nezindaba zokuxhumana

Ngisho noma usumazi umlingani wakho isikhathi eside, ungathola izinto ngaye ongase ungazithandi ngempela. Zama ukumtshela ngakho ngendlela yokuthi angalimali. Khumbula njalo ukuthi amazwi akhulunyiwe awakwazi ukubuyiselwa emuva. Ngakho-ke, ungasebenzisi amagama aqatha futhi uxoxe ngemizwa yakho ngendlela efanele. Uma kufanele nilwe, lwa ngenhlonipho nomlingani wakho . Uma kunezinto ezincane eningazithandi, ungenza imizamo yokuzivumelanisa.

Ingxabano esanda kushada futhi edabukisayo ivame ukuvela ekukhulumisaneni okubi phakathi kwemibhangqwana. UGopa uthi, “Lapho imibhangqwana ihluleka ukukhulumisana ngezidingo zayo kanye nezinto eziyifunayo komunye nomunye, intukuthelo ingena ebuhlotsheni.

“Izingxoxo ezifika ngesikhathi, ezivulekile, eziqotho nezingagwegwesi phakathi kombhangqwana ziwukutshalwa kwezimali okungcono kakhulu abangawenza emshadweni wabo. Lokhu kuzoholela ebudlelwaneni obuhle bokuphila konke nobungane obukhulu emshadweni.”

6. Ukulwa njalo ngonyaka wokuqala womshado

Ngonyaka wokuqala womshado, nobabili niyoba nomunye nje enithembele kuye. Ngakho-ke, kungenzeka kakhulu ukuthi ukhiphe ukukhungatheka kwakho okuhlobene nezinguquko zomshado komunye nomunye. Konke lokhu kungase kuholele onyakeni wokuqala womshado futhi kuhlale kulwa nokuguquguquka kobudlelwano, okuyinto engaphilile neze. Ukuze uqinisekise ukuthi izinto zihamba kahle, kungcono ukugwema ukungezwani futhi nilungise izinto ndawonye.

“Lesi yisona sizathu esidala ukuthi umshado ubhidlizwe ngemva kwezinyanga eziyisi-6 noma ungakapheli unyaka, unyaka wokuqala womshado uwukwakha isisekelo somshado, kodwa uma imibhangqwana iveza ukungezwani futhi ilokhu ikhuluma ngezinto ezifanayo naphezu kwezingxoxo ezingabalwe, lokho akuwenzi kahle umshado.

Ezimweni eziningi, ngibona imibhangqwana icindezelekile ngokomzwelo, ilwa ubusuku bonke ngokuyindida ngokungasichithi isikhathi ndawonye noma ukuvusana phakathi kwamabili ukuze ” ixoxe ngezindaba eziphazamisekile.” Ezimweni ezinjalo, izindlela zokuzama ezinjengokubeka ‘umkhawulo wesikhathi sokuyeka ukulwa’ ukuze ungalwi ubusuku bonke noma ukuba nesivumelwano esibhaliwe sokuhlonipha ukuzibophezela kwabo esixazululweni okuvunyelwene ngaso,” kweluleka uGopa.

7. Izingqinamba nabakwabasekhweni

UGopa uthi, “Lokhu ngempela ‘kuyibhomu lesikhathi’ elikhulu futhi ngokuvamile kuyimbangela eyinhloko yezinkinga zomshado onyakeni wokuqala.” Ngaba nombhangqwana, lapho inkosikazi yabonisa khona ukungakwazi ngokuphelele ukuvimbela uyise ukuba angagxambukeli emshadweni wakhe okwaphumela ngesehlukaniso phakathi neminyaka engu-3 yomshado.

Ngakho-ke, kubalulekile ukuba abangane bomshado baqonde ukuthi banesibopho sokuvikela imishado yabo emathonyeni angaphandle.” Indlela engcono kakhulu iwukuhlonipha imikhaya yomunye nomunye futhi ungayigwemi kunoma yiziphi izingxabano.

Kungase kungabi yisizathu ngaso sonke isikhathi esiphazamisa ukuphila kwakho komshado kodwa kube nezikhathi lapho abasekhweni bakho bengase bakubangele izinkinga. Awukwazi ukukhuluma kabi ngabo koshade naye njengoba bengabazali bakhe. Nokho, kufanele ukhulume nomngane wakho womshado futhi uzame ukuthola izinto. Iseluleko somshado sonyaka wokuqala okufanele usilandele esokwabelana ngokukhululekile nomlingani wakho mayelana nezinkinga obhekene nazo nabasemzini wakho.

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8. Umqondo wesikhathi somuntu kanye nendawo uyashabalala

Ngaphambi komshado sonke isikhathi sakho bekungesakho futhi ubunesikhathi sokuphumula uwedwa. Kodwa uma ushada nje akusafani. Kufanele uzinike isikhathi soshade naye kanye nabasemzini. Lokhu kungenye yezimbangela zezinkinga ezinsukwini zokuqala zomshado ngoba kuba noshintsho kungazelelwe endleleni yakho.

“Ngenkathi uzulazula onyakeni wokuqala wezinkinga zomshado khumbula ukubopha ifindo likasofasilahlane akusho ukucwilisa ubuntu bakho.Njengomeluleki, ngikhuthaza imibhangqwana ukuthi iqhubeke nezithakazelo zabo siqu kanye nezinto abazithandayo, futhi balondoloze ukuxhumana nabangane babo, umndeni futhi ngisho nokuthatha amaholide ngabanye.

“Lo mbono ubonakala ungajwayelekile kumakhasimende ami amaningi kodwa empeleni ungaqinisa umshado uma umbhangqwana uzizwa unendawo ephephile yokuveza ubuntu bawo. Ngikhuthaza imibhangqwana ukuba ihloniphe ukubaluleka kwesikhala ebudlelwaneni ukuze kube nobudlelwano obunempilo nobuqhubekayo,” kusho uGopa.

9. Izindaba ezihlobene nezezimali

Ukuhlela ezezimali kwabashadile abasanda kushada akubalulekile nje kuphela ukugwema usizi olukhulu lonyaka wokuqala womshado kodwa futhi nangenxa yokuvikeleka kwezezimali kwesikhathi eside. Ngokuvamile, kubonakala ukuthi izindaba zezimali emndenini wabashadile abasanda kushada ziyindaba ebucayi engase iveze izindaba zobugovu kanye nokuzethemba. Ngakho-ke, umuntu kufanele afunde ukuthi angabelana kanjani ngomthwalo wezezimali ngemva komshado ukuze agweme izingxabano.

Izingxabano ezinkulu zibonakala phakathi kwemibhangqwana ngenxa yemali. Ngokuvamile abangane bomshado bangase bangafakwa noma baziswe ngezindaba zezezimali futhi lokhu kungase kubangele ukungathembani okukhulu. Ngokuvamile, ngikhuthaza imibhangqwana ukuba ihlangane nabahleli bezimali ndawonye ukuze ibe nomuzwa wokuthi bangasebenza ndawonye njengeqembu. Umbhangqwana osizana ezindabeni zezezimali nowongela ikusasa ngokubambisana uba nobuhlobo obujabulisayo njengoba bobabili abashadile bezizwa belondekile futhi beqiniseka ngokwengeziwe emshadweni.

Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi usuneminyaka ubazi oshade naye noma senithandane ezinsukwini ezimbalwa, nakanjani kuzoba nokungaboni ngaso linye nezingxabano ngemva komshado. Akudingeki ukuthi uqale ukungabaza umshado wakho nokuphila kwawo ngaso leso sikhathi. Kunalokho, kudingeka nihlale phansi nixoxe nomngane wakho womshado. Ningasolani, nisolane noma nilimazane, kodwa khulumani ngendlela ephumelelayo.

Ungawuqeda Kanjani Unyaka Wokuqala Womshado

Ingabe umshado unzima kuwo wonke umuntu? Njengamanje, kufanele ube nombono omuhle wokuthi ukuhamba onyakeni wokuqala womshado kuyinxenye enzima futhi entekenteke kakhulu kuyo yonke impilo yomshado. Uma udlula kulesi sigaba somshado, ukuphila kwakho komshado okujabulisayo kuzoqinisekiswa. Nansi indlela ongahamba ngayo ezikhathini ezinzima kalula:

1. Zama ukuqonda nokuthanda umlingani wakho
2. Ukulindela okuphakeme ngezinye izikhathi kuholela ekudumazekeni, ngakho-ke kungcono ukulindela izinto ezingokoqobo engxenyeni yakho engcono kunokuba uphile ngokukhohlisa.
3. Gwema izingxabano nokungezwani njengoba imishado eminingi ihlukumezeka ngenxa yezingxabano, izingxabano nokusebenzisa amagama ahlabayo.
4. Themba umlingani wakho futhi uzame ukukhuluma ngemicabango yakho ngokuzethemba
5. Thatha isikhathi sakho ukulungisa. Kungase kube nokwehla nokwenyuka ngakho-ke zama ukuma ndawonye phakathi nezigaba ezinjalo zempilo

Ngakho-ke, singasho ukuthi unyaka wokuqala womshado ugcwele izithiyo nezithiyo ezahlukene okufanele nizinqobe ndawonye. Kodwa uma usudlulile kulesi sigaba kuzoqinisa futhi kuthuthukise ubudlelwano benu. Ngakho-ke, fundani futhi nisizane ukuze nobabili niguge ndawonye futhi niphile impilo yomshado ejabulisayo.

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