Izindlela Ezingu-25 Zokuba Umfazi Ongcono Futhi Uthuthukise Umshado Wakho

“Ekuguleni nasempilweni, ukuthanda nokwazisa, kuze kuhlukaniswe ukufa.” Ingabe lokhu kuyakhala? Lezi yizifungo ezikubandakanya ekuphishekeleni impilo yakho yonke yokwakha umshado oqinile, omuhle nogcina umyeni wakho ejabule. Kodwa ngezinye izikhathi ukukhuphuka nokwehla kohambo lwenu njengombhangqwana kungase kukwenze ungabaze indima yakho njengomfazi. Uma lokho kukunxusa ukuba ufune iseluleko sokuthi ungaba kanjani inkosikazi engcono futhi uthuthukise umshado wakho, siyaqonda ngokuphelele.

Kulesi sihloko, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esinolwazi ngokuhlukumezeka Anushtha Mishra (MSc, Counseling Psychology), ogxile ekuhlinzekeni ngokwelapha okukhathazayo okunjengokuhlukumezeka, izinkinga zobudlelwano, ukudangala, ukukhathazeka, usizi, nesizungu phakathi kokunye, ubhala ngokuthi ungenza kanjani umshado wakho usebenze njengomuntu wesifazane futhi wabelane ngamathiphu okuthuthukisa umshado wakho ngazo zonke izindlela.

Izindlela Ezingu-25 Zokuba Umfazi Ongcono Futhi Uthuthukise Umshado Wakho

Umshado awulona nje ihlobo noma ubusika bempilo yakho, yizinkathi ezine zonyaka. Uchitha amandla akho nesikhathi sakho ekuyikhuliseni futhi uyenze iqhakaze. Futhi lokho kudinga bobabili ozakwethu ukuthi bahole noma bazibophezele. Kudinga isethi ekhethekile yamakhono ukuze ukwazi ukwabelana ngempilo yakho nomunye umuntu.

Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo saseMelika esidumile UDkt. John Gottman uyabalula ukuthi imishado eminingi iyahlukana phakathi neminyaka eyi-7 yokuqala. Ngakho-ke, uma ungafuni ukuba esinye izibalo, kubalulekile ukwazi ukuthi zikhona yini izimpawu zenkinga emshadweni wakho kusenesikhathi ngaphambi kokuthi ushayeke phansi. Lokho kuhilela ukuhlola kabusha izenzo zakho njengomfazi, njengowesifazane, ukuze uthole izindlela zokuqinisa umshado wakho. Ngezansi kunamacebiso angu-25 okuthi ungaba kanjani umfazi ongcono futhi uthuthukise umshado wakho:

1. Zihlele ukuze uthuthukise umshado wakho

Umusa uyingxenye ebalulekile yanoma yimuphi umshado ojabulisayo. Umhlaba uyindawo enzima enezithiyo eziningi nabantu abangenaluzwela abeza kithi. Okuncane esingakwenza wukwakha indawo ephephile, ekhulisayo ngaphakathi kwezindonga ezine zekhaya lethu. Imibhangqwana ephumelela kakhulu laphaya inomusa komunye nomunye. Uma ubucabanga, “Ngifuna ukufunda ukuthi ngingazithuthukisa kanjani njengomfazi qinisa isibopho sami nomngane wami womshado“, nakhu ongakwenza:

• Izingxoxo eziqotho zibalulekile kodwa kufanele uzihlole futhi ugweme ukukhuluma yonke imicabango ebucayi onayo ngomlingani wakho ngenkathi uxoxa ngezihloko ezivusa amadlingozi.
• Amazinga ethu okucindezeleka anda phezulu ngemva kokusebenza kanzima kosuku. Yenza umzamo wokuphatha oshade naye ngomusa ekupheleni kosuku olude
• Ukuthinta okungezona inkanuko yomzimba njengokugona nokubamba ngesandla kunomphumela wokwelapha. Nikeza umlingani wakho ngokwanele ngalokho
• Gwema umdlalo wokusola kanye namazwana abhuqayo engxabano ukuze ube umngane womshado onothando

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izinto Ezincane Ezingu-23 Ezenza Umshado Wakho Uqine Nsuku Zonke

2. Zinike isikhala

Ukuzinika isikhala kude nowakwakho kukuvumela ukuthi uzihlole futhi usebenze ekukhuleni kwakho siqu. Lesi sikhala futhi siqinisekisa ukuthi aninciphisani. Kukusiza ukuthi wenze umshado wakho usebenze njengowesifazane noma uyindoda. Zinike isikhathi uwedwa futhi usibeke ekuzinakekeleni futhi uvuselele umzimba wakho nomphefumulo wakho.

Umshado wakho uzosebenza kangcono kakhulu njengoba ubuya ujabule futhi utshalwe ngokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni. Xhumana nesidingo sakho sesikhala kumlingani wakho. Ungaqala ngokuchaza ukuthi usho ukuthini uma usho isikhala, futhi nini, kanjani, futhi kungani ungase uzidinge wena leso sikhala.

3. Nikeza owakwakho isikhathi

Njengoba nje udinga indawo, kanjalo nomlingani wakho. Enye yezinto inkosikazi okufanele iyenzele umyeni wayo ukuvula indawo yaleyo ndawo ngaphandle kokukhononda. Ukuba nesikhathi sokwehlukana noma indawo yomuntu siqu kubaluleke kakhulu ukugcina umshado umusha futhi usesimweni ubudlelwano obunempilo. Kuyasiza ekulondolozeni ukuzazi ngenkathi nisengumbhangqwana.

Phela, kufanele sibheke ukuzimela namandla njengezimfanelo zomfazi omuhle kunesidingo nokunamathela. Ukuzenzela lezi zikhala wena nozakwenu kuzoba lula uma seningaba abangani abakhulu bomunye nomunye futhi nikhulume ulimi olufanayo lothando ukuze kungabi khona ukungaqondi kahle mayelana nesidingo sesikhala. Khumbula nje, isikhala asisho njalo ibanga elingokomzimba noma elingokomzwelo.

4. Gxila ezintweni ezinhle zomngane wakho womshado

Sonke sinezici ezithile ezinempilo nezingenampilo futhi sonke sifuna ukuqashelwa ngasohlangothini lwethu olungcono. Umngane womshado onothando ungenza umzamo wokuqaphela ezinye zalezo zici ezinhle kumlingani wakhe kunokuba agxile kwezinye izici zobuntu bakhe. Ngezinye izikhathi kungase kube nzima kakhulu ukubheka okuhle kanye sekela umlingani wakho, ikakhulukazi uma uthukuthele, udabukile, noma ubhekene nento enzima ebudlelwaneni bakho.

Kodwa kulawa maphuzu, ukukhumbula ubuhle bemvelo kwabathandekayo bakho kuba okubaluleke kakhulu. Ukuqonda ulimi lothando lomngane wakho womshado nakho konke okutusekayo emshadweni wakho kungase kukusize unciphise okubuhlungu. Khumbula ukuthi umlingani wakho naye ungumuntu. Isici esibalulekile sendlela yokuba inkosikazi engcono futhi uthuthukise umshado wakho ukuqaphela nokwazisa amandla omlingani wakho.

5. Lungisa futhi ushiye izingxabano ukuze uthuthukise umshado wakho

NgokukaDkt. John Gottman, ukufunda indlela yokuphuma engxabanweni nokulungisa isimo esingase singalawuleki ngenxa yengxabano kuyimfihlo yokuba inkosikazi elungile. Ungazama ukulungisa izimo ezinjalo ngokusebenzisa:

• Humor
• Ukwenza izinkulumo ezikhathalelayo
• Ukwenza kucace ukuthi nivumelana ngezinto ezifanayo, okusho ukuthi niyiqembu
• Ehlehla
• Ngokuvamile, ukunikeza ukwazisa umlingani wakho kanye nemizwa yabo

Uma ingxabano noma ukulwa emshadweni spirals out of control and kuholela esimweni esishubile, thatha isikhathi ngendlela yekhefu bese ubuyela esihlokweni kuphela uma nobabili nizolile.

6. Yehlisa indlela obhekana ngayo nezingxabano

Izingxabano zivame ukuqubuka lapho umlingani oyedwa ebhebhethekisa ingxabano ngamazwi ayinhlamba noma adelelayo. Lapho uveza ukukhathazeka noma izinkinga onazo ngobumnene ngaphandle ukugxeka, kukusiza ukuba uhlanganyele ngokuthula ekuxazululeni izingxabano nomngane wakho womshado.

Ngakho nakhu okwenzayo njengomfazi ukuze uthuthukise umshado wakho futhi ubuyisele ukuthula: Qala ingxoxo ngomoya ophansi futhi ulalele umbono woshade naye. Khononda kodwa ungasoli owakwakho ngakho konke. Sebenzisa izitatimende ezithi “Mina” ukuze uziveze esikhundleni sokuthi “wena” futhi, okubaluleke kakhulu, ube nesizotha futhi ucabangele.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Amathiphu Anengqondo Wokuxazulula Ukungqubuzana Ebudlelwaneni

7. Vumela owakwakho ukuba akuthonye

Uma ubulokhu uzizwa njalo noma uzibuza, "Umyeni wami ufanelwe okungcono kunami. Indlela yokuzithuthukisa njengomfazi? ", Ngiphakamisa ukuthi uqale ukwamukela ithonya kumlingani wakho womshado. Uma uqina ohlelweni lwakho nezinhlelo zakho futhi ungaziniki isikhala sezicelo zomngane wakho womshado noma izinto eziza kuqala, ungagcina usemshadweni onezinkinga.

Ikhono lomfazi lokuthonywa umngane wakhe womshado libaluleke kakhulu njengoba nje libaluleke kakhulu kumngane womshado ukuba athonywe umkayo. UDkt. John Gottman uthi ubambiswano lwangempela lwenzeka kuphela lapho bobabili abalingani bezivumela ukuba bathonywe omunye nomunye. Lena enye yezindlela zokuphendula umbuzo wakho, "Ngingaba kanjani umfazi ongcono kumyeni wami?"

8. Yiba sengozini noshade naye

Ukuba sengozini emshadweni kusho ukuveza izinhlangothi zakho ongazethembi kangako noma eziqondene nawe ngokujulile, bese uvumela owakwakho ukuthi azithinte futhi aphendule kuzo. Kuyethusa kodwa, uma uzithola uzibuza, "Indlela yokuthuthukisa umshado wami nomyeni wami?", Khona-ke ukuba sengozini kungenye yezindlela ezingcono kakhulu. Kwenza owakwakho kanye nawe uzizwe usekelwe, uxhumekile, futhi uthandwa ngempela.

9. Hlonipha owakwakho

Ukuhloniphana ebudlelwaneni kudlala indima ebalulekile ekunqumeni ukuthi bungahlala isikhathi eside kangakanani. Kwakha isisekelo esiqinile. Ukuba khona nokubonisa ukuhloniphana kubaluleke kakhulu njengokuthembana nokunakekela ekwakheni ubudlelwano obuvikelekile. Ukuba inkosikazi eqotho kusho ukuthi ngaso sonke isikhathi ubonisa inhlonipho onayo kumlingani wakho.

• Balalele ngaphandle kweziphazamiso
• Vuma amaphutha futhi xolisa uma ubazwise ubuhlungu noma ube luhlaza kubo
• Hlonipha imizwa, imizwa, nezifiso zabo ngazo zonke izindlela
• Khuluma ngokuziqhenya ngezimfanelo zabo ezinhle kanye negalelo labo empilweni yakho phambi kwabanye
• Zama ukuthinta okuncane ukuze ubonise ukwazisa kwakho njengokupheka ukudla abakuthandayo noma ukubathengela izimbali

10. Xoxa ngemibono yakho noshade naye

Abantu abaningi bavame ukuphendukela kubalingani babo ukuze bashintshane ngemibono. Njengenkosikazi, uma ufuna iseluleko somngane wakho womshado ezindabeni eziyinkimbinkimbi noma umane ucele imibono yabo futhi ukhulume neyakho ngaphandle kokufuna imvume, kuyobenza bazizwe bebalulekile. Ubudlelwano buyasebenzisana futhi njengoba imibono yakho ibalulekile, nemicabango yomlingani wakho nayo ibalulekile.

Ngakho-ke, hlose ukuhlakulela ukuvumelana emibonweni yomunye nomunye ukuthuthukisa ukuxhumana ebudlelwaneni. Uma ufuna ukudlala indima yenkosikazi enkulu emshadweni wakho, yamukela kakhulu imibono nemibono yowakwakho. Uma kubonakala kukudida, ungahlala ubuza ngesineke lokho abakubonayo wena ongakuboni.

11. Hlonipha ubumfihlo bomuntu oshade naye

Unelungelo lokuba nemfihlo kunoma yiluphi uhlobo lobudlelwano, okuhlanganisa nowakwakho, abangani, noma umndeni. Nobabili wena nowakwakho ninelungelo lokugcina izingxenye zakho noma izimpilo zakho ziyimfihlo ngesizathu esisodwa enifuna ngaso nobabili. Umuzwa wendawo yomuntu siqu kanye nobumfihlo bemizwa nomzimba phakathi kwabalingani kuwuphawu lomshado onempilo. Uma kungenjalo, ugcina uphazamisa ukusondelana kwakho kunokuba ukuthuthukise.

12. Izindinganiso eziphakeme zinhle emshadweni

NgokukaDkt. John Gottman, imibhangqwana ejabulayo ibeka izinga eliphezulu ebuhlotsheni bayo. Abaningi imishado ephumelelayo yilezo lapho umbhangqwana wenqaba khona ukwamukela ukuziphatha okulimazayo komunye nomunye. Uma uzithola uzibuza, "Indlela yokuthuthukisa umshado wami nomyeni wami?", Impendulo iwukuba nokubekezelelana okuphansi kokuziphatha okubi kusukela ekuqaleni komshado. Lokhu kuqinisekisa ukuthi nobabili nizojabula kakhulu ndawonye phansi komgwaqo wokukhuphuka nokwehla komshado wenu.

13. Yabelana ngalokho okulindele ngokwezimali

Imishado eminingi igcwele ukungaboni ngaso linye ngezimali, ikakhulukazi uma kunegebe elikhulu emaholweni phakathi kwabo bobabili abathandanayo noma kukhona oyedwa ohola isinkwa emndenini. Wena nomngane wakho womshado ningase nibe nokulindela okuhlukile ngemali futhi kungase kube nzima ukubona isimo sezezimali ngombono womngane wakho womshado.

Ukukhuluma ngalokho okulindele ngokwezimali nokufinyelela esivumelwaneni sendlela yokuphatha imali nokuhlukanisa izimali kungaba elinye lamacebiso okuthi ungaba kanjani inkosikazi engcono futhi uthuthukise umshado wakho. Ukuxoxa ngalokhu nophathina wakho kungasiza ekwakheni ukwethembana nokuhloniphana.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ukwabelana Ngezindleko Ebudlelwaneni - Izinto eziyi-9 Okufanele Uzicabange

14. Zijwayeze ukubekezela

Ukubekezela kugcina umshado uphila. Akulula ukwazi ukubekezela futhi kudinga amandla amaningi nokuzimisela ukuzenza. Ukubekezela ebudlelwaneni angenza izimanga, hhayi nje emshadweni ngokwawo kodwa nakubo bobabili abalingani. Ungaqala ukuzijwayeza ukubekezela ngokwenza lokhu:

• Ukwazi umlingani wakho njengomuntu
• Ukwamukela amaphutha abo
• Ukuxhumana
• Okubaluleke kakhulu, ukulalela oshade naye

15. Chitha isikhathi esiningi nomngane wakho womshado

Uma uzibuza ukuthi indoda idingani kunkosikazi wayo, yisikhathi sakhe nothando lwakhe ingxenye enkulu. Futhi sicabanga ukuthi izenzo zakho njengenkosikazi enhle kufanele zigxile kulowo mcabango. Lokhu, nokho, akufanele kuvele kunoma yiluphi uhlobo lokucindezelwa kodwa othandweni olumsulwa. Uma ukuchitha isikhathi sekhwalithi nomngane wakho womshado ulimi lwakho lothando, akukho lutho olufana nalo.

• Ukupheka noma ukufunda ndawonye kunomphumela onjalo ophulukisayo ebudlelwaneni benu njengombhangqwana oshadile
• Ukuhamba ekuseni noma ikilasi le-yoga kungase kube umsebenzi omuhle okwabelwana ngawo kubabhangqwana abathanda ukuphila okunempilo
• Ungazama izinto ezintsha njengokuhlola izindawo zezivakashi ezizungeze idolobha lakho, ukufunda ulimi, noma ukuthola into entsha yokuzilibazisa eningayiphishekela ndawonye
• Izinsuku zothando, ubusuku bamamuvi, ukudlala imidlalo - khetha impelasonto ezayo
• Ngisho nokuhlanza izingubo kungase kuzwakale kukuhle uma wabelana ngomsebenzi nowakwakho

16. Lalela izidingo zomlingani wakho

Ukulalela kuqinisa ubudlelwano futhi kukhombisa ukulalelisisa, ukunakekela kanye nenhlonipho. Enye yezinto umfazi okufanele ayenzele umyeni wakhe ukumlalela ngaphandle kokuchema nokwahlulela. Kulapho kuphela lapho uqala khona ukuzwa nokuqonda ngokweqiniso incazelo yamazwi akhe.

Isisekelo esiqinile somshado omuhle simi ekubeni khona onozwela kakhulu ebudlelwaneni nokunaka imizwa yomlingani wakho ngaphandle kokuchema. Ungagxumeli ezisombululweni ngokushesha, kunalokho naka ulimi lwabo lomzimba futhi ucabange ngalokho abakushoyo.

17. Vumela owakwakho ahole ngezikhathi ezithile

Khumbula ukuthi ukuthembana kwabashadile lapho uwe ngomhlane uthembele ukuthi umuntu osemva kwakho uzokubambisa? Kucishe kube njalo. Ukuvumela umlingani wakho ahole kwesinye isikhathi kukhombisa ukuthi usukulungele ukuwela ngomhlane ngoba bekhona ukuze akubambe.

Esinye sezixazululo kumbuzo wakho othi "Umyeni wami ufanelwe okungcono kunami. Yini okufanele ngiyenze ukuze ngibe inkosikazi ephelele?" Inkinga iwukuvumela owakwakho ukuba ahole ngezinye izikhathi, kanti kwezinye, owakwakho uyakuvumela ukuba umhole. Khona-ke kungase kube nezikhathi lapho nobabili nihlanganisa izandla zenu futhi niholelana ekhaya.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ungaba Kanjani Emandleni Akho Owesifazane Nendoda - Amathiphu ayi-11

18. Sebenzisa izitatimende ezithi “Mina” ukuveza imizwa yakho

Qala imisho yakho ngokuthi “Mina” ukuze ingabonakali igxeka futhi uvimbele umlingani wakho ekuthatheni indawo yokuzivikela. Ukusebenzisa izitatimende ezithi “Mina” kungakusiza udlulise lokho okuzwayo futhi unikeze ithuba engxoxweni ekhiqizayo, eyakhayo esikhundleni sokuzwakala njengezinsolo, okungaba ukugxeka. ingxoxo yefulegi elibomvu.

Ungase uthi, “Angizizwa ngithandwa njengamanje” esikhundleni sokuthi “Awungithandi nhlobo”. Esikhundleni sokuthi “Ungizwise ubuhlungu kakhulu,” yithi, “Ngizwa ubuhlungu njengamanje.” Umehluko wukuthi kugxilwe ekutheni uzizwa kanjani kunokusola owakwakho. Lena enye yezindlela ezibaluleke kakhulu zokuqinisa umshado wakho.

19. Dlala ngothando futhi uzinike isikhathi sokusondelana

Elinye lamacebiso asebenzayo okuthi ungaba kanjani umfazi ongcono futhi uthuthukise umshado wakho iwukudlala ngothando nokuzinika isikhathi sokusondelana ngokomzimba nomngane wakho womshado. Imibhangqwana eminingi ivamise ukukhululeka omunye komunye kanti okubi kukho ukukhohlwa indlela yokuvula i-charm eholela ukuntula ukusondelana.

Ukusondelana ngaphandle kokuphazamiseka kuyindlela enhle yokuxhumana nomlingani wakho. Kungakhuphula amazinga okuzinikela kanye nokuxhumana ngokomzwelo phakathi kwabalingani. Impilo yocansi eyanelisayo ingenza izimanga ukubuyisa inhlansi ebudlelwaneni bakho. Kungcono nakakhulu uma ukwenza kube yinto eza kuqala.

20. Musa ukulawula umlingani wakho

Uma uzibuza, "Iziphi izindlela zokuthuthukisa umshado wami?", into yokuqala okufanele uyenze ukuyeka ukuphatha kancane nokulawula umlingani wakho, ubonise enye ye izimpawu ze-freak yokulawula. Lolu hlobo lokuziphatha lungaba yingozi emshadweni wakho. Ungakwenza ngokuthi:

• Ukunaka izidingo zakho ezifezwa wukuziphatha kwakho okulawulayo
• Thola izindlela zokumethemba umlingani wakho futhi ungamkhetheli owakwakho, kunalokho umkhuthaze ukuthi enze lokho okufanele kuye.

21. Zama ukuvumelana nezimo nomngane wakho womshado

Ngokwemvelo, wena nomngane wakho womshado ngeke nivumelane kukho konke kungakhathaliseki ukuthi nivumelana kangakanani. Eqinisweni, mhlawumbe ukungezwani kwenu bekuyingxenye yalokho okwanikhanga nobabili. Enye yezimfanelo zomfazi omuhle ukuqonda ukuthi akukona konke ukungezwani kwemibono okufanele kuxazululwe inqobo nje uma ukuhloniphana phakathi kwabalingani ababili. Kulungile ukuvuma ukungavumelani. Ukulalela umbono woshade naye kubaluleka lapha.

22. Hlanganyelani imisebenzi yasekhaya

Kusukela ekuthengeni igrosa kuya ekukhokheni izikweletu - ukuthatha umthwalo wemfanelo wazo zonke izinto ezincane endlini akulona uphawu lwenkosikazi enhle (hhayi umyeni omkhulu futhi). Ngokusho kwePew Research Center, ngo-2016 ucwaningo lokucwaninga kwabashadile abathandana nobulili obuhlukile babonise ukuthi u-56% wabashadile uthe ukwabelana ngemisebenzi yasendlini kubalulekile emishadweni yabo. Uma unemibuzo mayelana nokuthi yiziphi izindlela zokwenza ngcono umshado wami, lokhu kungenye yazo. Esikhundleni sokuthatha okungaphezu kwamandla akho, yenza kube lula ukwabelana ngomthwalo emshadweni wakho. Ukwenza lokhu,

• Ungakha uhlu lwemisebenzi yasekhaya futhi uhlukanise imisebenzi phakathi kwakho noshade naye
• Ungase unqume ukungaphazamisi ukuthi umuntu uyenziwa nini futhi kanjani ingxenye yakhe noma ubeke eceleni usuku lwemithwalo yemfanelo ehlanganyelwe futhi uthole ithuba lokuchitha isikhathi ndawonye.
• Ningagxeki ngendlela engafanele omunye nomunye enza ngayo umsebenzi kunalokho ningaxoxa ngokuthi umsebenzi wasekhaya ungenziwa kanjani ngendlela ephumelelayo necocekile.
• Okufanele ukwenze ukwazisa owakwakho ukukhombisa ukuthi uyawazisa umnikelo wakhe

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ukwabelana Ngemisebenzi Yasekhaya Nezibopho Ngokulinganayo Emshadweni

23. Khumbulani abagadi bamabhiza abane

Lapho uzithola uxabene nomngane wakho womshado, yenza umzamo omkhulu wokugwema 'abagibeli bamahhashi abane' noma ukuziphatha okune okubi okufakazela inhlekelele ebuhlotsheni, njengoba kuphawulwe uDkt. Gottman. Lokhu ukugxeka, indelelo, ukuzivikela, kanye nokukhanda ngamatshe. Zama ukuzibandakanya ekuziphatheni okwakhayo kunalokho.

Ngemuva kokuthi ingxabano isiphelile, cabanga ukuthi izinto zenzeke kanjani. Qaphela uma wena noma umlingani wakho nihlanganyela kunoma yikuphi ukuziphatha okubalwe njengokuthi 'abagibeli bamahhashi abane', futhi uma kunjalo, ukwazile ukuzibamba uthathe enye indlela? Qaphela okuhambe kahle nokuthi yini ongayithuthukisa ngokuzayo.

24. Xhumana. Xhumana. Xhumana.

Ukuxhumana kungenye yezinto, uma kungenjalo kakhulu, izici ezibalulekile zanoma ibuphi ubuhlobo obunempilo nobujabulisayo futhi ayikho indlela yokwenza umshado wakho ube ngcono ngaphandle kokukhuluma ngakho. Ukuxhumana kumayelana nokuxhuma nokusebenzisa ikhono lakho lokukhuluma ukuze ufeze izidingo zakho nezomlingani wakho ebudlelwaneni kanye nokwazana ezingeni elijulile.

Impendulo yombuzo othi, "Indlela yokuba umfazi ongcono kumyeni wami?", Ngokuvumelana ukuxhumana nomlingani wakho, ngokusobala nangobuqotho. Ukuxhumana kwenzeka ngezindlela zombili. Lokhu kusho ukuthi njengoba unelungelo lokuzwakalisa imizwa nemicabango yakho, unjalo nowakwakho. Nakhu okwenzayo njengonkosikazi ukuxhumana okuphumelelayo emshadweni wakho:

• Umlingani wakho akayena umfundi wengqondo. Ngakho-ke zama ngaso sonke isikhathi ukuphumela obala ngokukukhathazayo, ukungabaza, nezinye izidingo ezingokomzwelo
• Khetha ingxoxo evulekile esikhundleni sokuthatha izinto
• Ungacindezeli imizwa engemihle izinsuku ukugwema ukungqubuzana
• Ukungasho lutho noma umbukiso wokumemeza, kokubili kungaphonsa isilingo esibi emshadweni wakho
• Yabelana ngazo zonke izinto ezincane nolwazi nomngane wakho womshado ngemva kosuku olude

25. Sekela futhi ukhuthaze owakwakho

Uyazi ukuthi indoda idingani kunkosikazi wayo? Ukwesekwa kwakhe okungenamibandela nesikhuthazo ngokungagcini nje ngezikhathi ezimnandi kodwa nasezigabeni ezinzima zempilo. Ngisho ucwaningo kukhombisa ukuthi ukwesekwa okuvela kumlingani wakho kubalulekile ekwanelisekeni kobudlelwano. Asikuceli ukuthi uyeke amaphupho akho kanye nezifiso zakho kule nqubo. Kodwa njengoba ungumfazi, ukwesekwa kwakho kokuziphatha kanye nokuqinisekisa kunamandla okukhulisa ukuzethemba kwakhe futhi kumsize abe inguqulo engcono kakhulu yakhe.

Yebo, kudinga okungaphezu nje kothando ukwenza umshado usebenze futhi ngethemba ukuthi, sikunikeze zonke izimpendulo zendlela yokuba umlingani ongcono nokuthi ungalwela kanjani ukwenza umzamo wokuwenza uqhakaze. Kodwa ngezinye izikhathi izinto zingase zibe nzima futhi kungase kubonakale kunzima ukuhamba ngaphandle kokungenelela komelaphi womndeni. I-Bonobology ithimba labeluleki abanolwazi ilapha ukuze ikusize usondele isinyathelo esisodwa ebudlelwaneni obuvumelanayo.

Umshado awukona nje ukuhamba epaki futhi lapho kufanele uchithe nsuku zonke nomngane wakho womshado, kungase kubonakale kunzima nakakhulu. Nokho, ukulandela la macebiso angu-25 okuthi ungaba kanjani umfazi ongcono futhi uthuthukise umshado wakho kungabonisa izinguquko ezinhle futhi kube nemiphumela emihle.

Le ndatshana ibuyekezwe ngo-Ephreli 2023. 

Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa

Ukuqonda, Ukukhomba Nokusingatha Izingxabano Zomshado

Indlela Owesifazane Okufanele Ayiphathe Ngayo Indoda - Izindlela Ezingu-21 Zokukwenza Kahle

11 Amaqiniso Ahlabayo Ngomshado Akekho Okhuluma Ngawo

Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.

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