Unyaka Wokuqala Ngemva Kokulahlekelwa Umlingani: Okufanele Ukulindele Nokuthi Ungabhekana Kanjani Nakho

Unyaka wokuqala ngemva kokulahlekelwa umlingani uvame ukuzizwa sengathi umane nje udlula esimweni esibi ngenxa yokushaqeka noma yokuphelelwa yithemba, umane nje ucindezelekile usuku nosuku. Esikhundleni sokujaha “ukudlula kukho” noma “ukuqhubeka,” lo nyaka umayelana nokufunda ukuphila nokulahlekelwa ngesivinini sakho. Cabanga ngalo mhlahlandlela njengemephu yalokho okwenzekayo ngempela kulowo nyaka wokuqala: izigigaba ezingokomzwelo, izinselele ezifihliwe, kanye nezindlela zokubhekana nokuphulukiswa.

Kungani Unyaka Wokuqala Ngemva Kokulahlekelwa Umlingani Uzizwa Unzima Kangaka

Konke kushintshile, kodwa impilo ekuzungezile iyaqhubeka. Ushintshe ngokuzumayo usuka ekubeni umbhangqwana uye ekubeni umuntu oyedwa, futhi imikhuba kanye nobunikazi enabukha ndawonye kunyamalale ngobusuku obubodwa. Abangane nomndeni abangase bangaqondi usizi bangakwenza uzizwe uwedwa; bayaqhubeka beqhubekela phambili ngenkathi ubambeke ngosuku olufanayo olubuhlungu. Yonke ingqophamlando - iholide lokuqala, usuku lokuzalwa, usuku lokugubha usuku - iyisikhumbuzo esisha sokulahlekelwa. 

"Njengoba umfelokazi othile kuReddit esho, "Yiba mnene kuwe. Unyaka wokuqala unzima. Kufanele udlule kuzo zonke izinsuku zamaholide, izikhumbuzo kanye nezinsuku ezikhethekile wedwa."

Umsebenzisi we-Reddit

Ukushintsha kobunikazi ngokuzumayo 

Ubungu-“thina,” manje usungu-“Mina.” Amaphepha kanye nokukhulisa izingane ezingashadile kuwela emahlombe akho, futhi ungase uzizwe njengomuntu ohlukile. Lokhu kulahlekelwa ubuwena kuyathusa. Usizi olukhulu luletha ukungakhululeki nokudideka. Ngaphezu kwalokhu, ubhekene nalokhu: 

• Amalungiselelo omngcwabo
• Amaphepha ezezimali 
• Nemisebenzi yansuku zonke owake wabelana ngayo. 

Kuvamile ukuzizwa “ukhathele,” ukhungathekile futhi udidekile ngenxa yokwenza izinqumo.

Ukunqanyulwa komphakathi 

Abanye bangase bangazi ukuthi bathini, noma balindele ukuthi "ube ngcono" ngokushesha kakhulu. Ungase uzizwe unesizungu ngisho noma uphakathi kwabantu, futhi ufise ukuhlehla esikhundleni sokuchaza ukuthi uzizwa kanjani ngempela.

Kwenzekani Ngonyaka Wokuqala Wosizi

Usizi aluqondile, kodwa ungacabanga ngonyaka wokuqala ngezigaba ezinzima. Isigaba ngasinye singase sihambisane, futhi isikhathi singahluka kuwo wonke umuntu kodwa lezi yizindlela ezivamile ezibonakala njalo.

1. Izinyanga zokuqala 

Emasontweni nasezinyangeni zokuqala ezimbalwa, ungase uzizwe ungaphilile, udidekile, ucishe udidekile. Kunjengokungathi usebenzisa i-autopilot. Usesimweni sokushaqeka ubhekene nemisebenzi esheshayo efana nalokhu: 

• Ukuhlela umngcwabo
• Ukuxhumana nezihlobo
• Ukuphatha ifa

Phakathi nalesi sikhathi, "inkungu yobuchopho bakho" kanye ne-adrenaline kungakugcina uqhubeka, okwenza kube nzima ukuzwa ubuhlungu ngokugcwele. Kuvamile futhi ukuhamba phakathi kokuphika kanye nokudabuka okukhulu. Umzimba wakho nawo uzwa ukulahlekelwa: 

• Ungase ulale kabi
• Yidla ngokungajwayelekile
• Futhi ube nobuhlungu bomzimba noma ukuhlaselwa ukukhathazeka

Khumbula, phakathi nalezi zinyanga zokuqala usesimweni sokusinda. Qhubeka unakekela izidingo zakho eziyisisekelo njengokulala, ukuphuza amanzi emzimbeni, kanye nokunyakaza, noma ngabe kusezinyathelweni ezincane zobuntwana.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ingabe Ngiqhubeka Ngokushesha Ngemva Kokushona Komlingani Wami—Indlela Yokunquma

2. Isigaba esiphakathi 

Ngemva kokuba ukushaqeka kokuqala kuphelile, iqiniso liyaqala futhi lingashaya kanzima. Uqala ukuqaphela ukuthi lokhu kuyimpilo yakho entsha ngempela. Imikhuba yansuku zonke manje isiyimikhuba yedwa. Izimpelasonto, imisebenzi yasekhaya, ngisho nokuba nengxoxo nawe ngokuzwakalayo kungazwakala kungavamile. 

• Isizungu singakhula; hhayi nje ukukhohlwa umlingani wakho, kodwa nokuzizwa sengathi uyingxenye yengxoxo ngemibhangqwana noma ukuba nomona emicimbini yomphakathi. 
• Abantu abaningi bayazihlukanisa kakhulu noma bazizwa bengakhululekile ukuxhumana nabantu, ngoba akekho omunye okuqonda ngokugcwele lokho obhekene nakho
• Kulesi sigaba, ukudabuka kungase kuthathelwe indawo intukuthelo noma umuzwa wecala, ikakhulukazi njengoba ucubungula izinto ezingakaqedwa noma izinkumbulo. 
• Ukungabaza kuyangena: Ingabe ngenza okwanele? Ingabe nginamandla okwanele okusingatha ngedwa? 

Lokhu kungabaza kuyingxenye yenqubo yosizi – ufunda ukuphila njengomuntu owenza izinqumo wedwa, futhi kuyinto evamile ukuzizwa ukhungathekile.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ubuhlobo Bokuqala Ngemva Kokuba Umfelokazi – Izinto Ezingu-18 Okufanele Uzenze Nokungafanele Uzenze

3. “Unyaka wokuqala”

Njengoba ungena enyangeni yesi-6 kuya kweyesi-12, uzobhekana nochungechunge lwezinto “zokuqala” ngaphandle komlingani wakho: 

• Usuku lokuzalwa lokuqala
• Isizini yokuqala yamaholide
• Usuku lokuqala lomshado
• Futhi ekugcineni usuku lokuqala lokufa

Lezi zivame ukuba izikhathi ezinzima kakhulu. Okokuqala ngakunye kuyisinyathelo ongeke usigweme – umhlaba ulindele ukuthi ugubhe noma ubhekane naso “njengokujwayelekile,” kodwa konke kuzwakala sengathi kuyisithiyo. 

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Indlela Yokwakha Kabusha Impilo Yakho Ngemva Kokushona Komlingani: Amathiphu Ayi-11 Asekelwa Ochwepheshe

a. Usuku lokuzalwa lokuqala 

Ungase uzibuze ukuthi kufanele yini ugubhe lolu suku nhlobo. Abanye bathola induduzo ekuluhlonipheni ngokuthi: 

• Ukubhala incwadi
• Ukwabelana ngezinkumbulo

Noma ukwenza into oshade naye ayithandayo ngosuku lwakhe lokuzalwa

b. Amaholide okuqala 

Amasiko enawakha ndawonye angase azwakale engenalutho. Kulungile ukushintsha izinhlelo: 

• Mhlawumbe gcina amasiko athile owawathandayo umlingani wakho
• Noma qala amasiko amasha, eyedwa
• Kulungile futhi ukweqa imicimbi uma udinga

c. Usuku lokuqala lomshado 

Lolu kungaba usuku olubuhlungu kakhulu. Abanye abafelokazi/abafelokazi: 

• Bukela ividiyo yabo yomshado 
• Bheka izithombe
• Noma mema omunye othandekayo ukuthi akhumbule futhi akhumbule izikhathi ezimnandi

Abanye bathola izindlela ezincane zokuhlonipha usuku ngasese njengokubhala encwadini noma ukuvakashela indawo ekhethekile.

4. Usuku Lokukhumbula Ukufa Kokuqala

Ngesikhathi kufika uphawu lonyaka owodwa, abaningi bazizwa benokukhathala okungajwayelekile kanye nokwesaba. Usudlule “ezinsukwini zokuqala” eziningi ezijulile, futhi manje usunesikhumbuzo sokuqala sokufa. Lesi sigameko singazwakala njengesiphetho sosizi lonyaka. Sebenzisa usuku lwakho lokuqala lokufa ukuze wenze okuthile okunenjongo: 

• Phumula usuku
• Dala isiko elisha lesikhumbuzo
• Noma wabelane ngamabomu ngezinkumbulo nabangani abaseduze
• Hlela okuthile, noma ngabe ukukhanyisa ikhandlela nokubhalela umlingani wakho incwadi, ukuze usuku lungabi nalutho
• Futhi ncika kwabanye: yazisa umngane noma ilungu lomndeni ukuthi usuku luyeza ukuze bakwazi ukukusekela

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Indlela Yokwakha Kabusha Impilo Yakho Ngemva Kokuba Umfelokazi Uma Uneminyaka Engama-50

Imizwa Evamile Ngemva Kokulahlekelwa Umlingani

Usizi luhambisana nesivunguvungu semizwa esizwakala kakhulu onyakeni wokuqala. Yonke le mizwa ijwayelekile futhi ingafika nganoma iyiphi indlela:

• Ukudabuka okukhulu noma ukuphelelwa yithemba: Ukuzizwa ungenalutho olukhulu futhi ukhala njalo
• Isizungu esikhulu: Ngisho noma unabanye abantu, ubungane obungekho buyamangaza
• Intukuthelo noma ukucasuka: Ukuzizwa uthukuthelele isimo, abanye, noma wena ngokwakho.
• Ukuzisola noma umuzwa wecala: Ukucabanga ngezinto ezingashiwongo noma ukuthi yini obungayenza ngendlela ehlukile
• Ukukhathazeka noma ukwesaba: Ukukhathazeka ngekusasa: imali, ukukhulisa izingane wedwa, noma ukuba wedwa
• Ukuba ndikindiki ngokomzwelo: Ngezinye izikhathi ungase uzizwe ungenalutho, njengokungathi imizwa yakho ivaliwe. Lokhu kuyindlela evamile yokuzivikela
• Impumuzo noma ngisho nomuzwa wecala mayelana nempumuzo: Ikakhulukazi uma ukufa bekungemva kokugula isikhathi eside, ungase uzizwe ukhululekile ngoba abasahlupheki. Lokhu kuvamile futhi kuyaqondakala.
• Ukungabikezeli ngokomzwelo: Umzuzu owodwa uvamile, olandelayo ukhala ngokuzumayo. Lawa “magagasi” noma “ukuhlaselwa kosizi” kungazwakala sengathi kushaywa ngesibhakela esingaziwa

Yonke le mizwa ivamile futhi iyingxenye yosizi. Vumela noma yimiphi imizwa ivele - izinyembezi, intukuthelo, ukudideka, konke. Zinike imvume yokulila ngasese noma nabantu abaqondayo. 

Yini Ekusiza Ukudlula Onyakeni Wokuqala

Akukho seluleko esizolungisa ubuhlungu bokulahlekelwa noma sisuse usizi, kodwa amasu athile angakusiza ukuthi ubhekane nesimo futhi uzigcine uphephile phakathi nalesi sikhathi sobuthakathaka. Lokhu kusekelwe ezincomweni zochwepheshe kanye nalokho abafelokazi abaningi abakuthole kuwusizo.

1. Gxila ekuzinzeni ngokomzimba kuqala

Ngaphambi kokubhekana nemizwa enzima noma izinguquko empilweni, qiniseka ukuthi izidingo zakho eziyisisekelo ziyahlangatshezwa. Usizi luyakhathaza; lungaphazamisa: 

• Sleep
• Iphango
• Futhi amandla

"Imizwa yakho yokulahlekelwa nokudabuka cishe izokushiya ukhathele. Ikhono lakho lokucabanga kahle nokwenza izinqumo lingase liphazamiseke. Hlonipha lokho umzimba nengqondo yakho ekutshela kona. Phumula nsuku zonke. Yidla ukudla okulinganiselayo."

– UDkt. Alan Wolfelt, Umeluleki Wezosizi

Nansi indlela ozinakekela ngayo: 

• Zama ukugcina isimiso sokulala esijwayelekile, noma ngabe awukwazi ukulala ubusuku bonke 
• Yidla okuthile okunempilo nsuku zonke 
• Ngisho nokuzivocavoca okuthambile kungasiza ekuhlanzeni ingqondo
• Uma unezinkinga zezokwelapha, qhubeka nokuhlolwa

2. Gwema izinqumo ezinkulu zokuphila

Esinye sezeluleko ezivame kakhulu zosizi ukulibazisa izinqumo ezinkulu okungenani unyaka wonke. 

• Ukuthengisa indlu
• Moving
• Ukuyeka/ukushintsha imisebenzi
• Noma ukuthenga izinto ezinkulu 

Konke lokhu kungalinda. Usizi ludala inkungu yobuchopho; awukho esimweni sakho sengqondo esivamile. Unyaka wokuqala ubhekwa njengesikhathi esingafanele sokwenza noma yisiphi isinyathelo esishintsha impilo. 

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Engizisola Ngakho Ngemva Kokushona Komlingani Wami –

Dala amasiko esikhundleni sokugwema ubuhlungu

Ukugwema ubuhlungu kuvame ukwenza kube kubi kakhulu. Kunalokho, cabanga ngokubeka amasiko amnene phakathi nezinsuku ezinzima. Isibonelo, ngezinsuku zokuzalwa noma isikhumbuzo sokufa, hlela umcimbi omncane: 

• Khanyisa ikhandlela 
• Thandaza
• Lalela ingoma enenjongo
• Noma ubhalele umlingani wakho incwadi  

Lokhu akudingeki kube esidlangalaleni; kungaba isenzo sangasese, njengokutshala isihlahla ngosuku lwabo lokuzalwa noma ukwenza isidlo abasithandayo ngeminyaka yabo yokukhumbula. Umgomo ukubhekana nalezo zikhathi zokuqala futhi ukhumbule ukuthi kulungile ukulila. Abaningi bathola ukuthi le mikhuba empeleni iletha induduzo ngokwenza usuku olucindezelayo lube luhlelekile.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ukuthula Nesikhathi Sakho Esidlule – Amathiphu Ahlakaniphile Ayi-13

Vumela usizi lube khona Ayikho inkinobho yokusheshisa usizi. Awukwazi ukuziphoqa ukuthi "uphile kahle" ngaphambi kokuba uluzwe ngempela. Zinike imvume yokwenza lokhu: 

• Cry
• Scream
• Journal
• Noma yenza noma yini ekusiza ukukhulula imizwa

Kungase kudingeke ukhale ngasese noma nodokotela noma iqembu lokusekelana, okuyinto elungile ngokuphelele. Ungazizwa unecala ngokuzinika isikhathi. Ukufihla imizwa yakho kungaholela ekukhathazekeni, ekucindezelekeni, noma ngisho nasezinkingeni zempilo kamuva. 

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Indlela Usizi Nokulahlekelwa Othandekayo Okuthinta Ngayo Ubudlelwano

3. Thembela ezinhlelweni zokusekela

Nakuba ungase uzizwe uhlukile kunoma ubani ongakaze adlule kulokhu, ukwesekwa kubalulekile. Yabelana ngemizwa yakho nabangani abaseduze noma umndeni owuthembayo. Bazise ukuthi udabukile nokuthi yini engasiza. 

• Abanye abantu bathola iqembu lokusekelana nabantu abasosizini liwusizo kakhulu njengoba ukuzwa okuhlangenwe nakho kwabanye kungakwenza uzizwe ungedwa kakhulu 
• Uma ungumuntu okholwayo, imiphakathi yenkolo ivame ukuba namanethiwekhi okusekela noma ukwelulekwa 
• Ngisho nemiphakathi eku-inthanethi noma ama-subreddits angakunikeza umuzwa wokuqonda 
• Ukwelashwa nomeluleki wezokwelapha oqeqeshiwe noma isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo kungaba usizo olukhulu, ikakhulukazi uma ubona izimpawu zosizi oluyinkimbinkimbi 

Abantu bavame ukufuna ukusiza kodwa abazi ukuthi kanjani; kungase kudingeke ukuthi uthintane nabo kuqala. Umbhalo olula othi “Singakhuluma maduze?” noma “Ngingathanda inkampani kule mpelasonto” ungavula ithuba lokusekelwa.

Indlela Yokusingatha Izenzakalo Ezibalulekile Nezikhumbuzo

Esikhundleni sokuvumela izinsuku zokugubha usuku nosuku zikucashele, yenza ukuhlela okuthile buthule. Okokuqala, ungazami ukuzishaya indiva lezi zinsuku - lokho kungadala ukukhathazeka okwengeziwe. Nquma kusengaphambili: 

• Ingabe ufuna ukuba nobudlelwane noma ukuba wedwa ngalolo suku? 
• Uzoqhubeka nesiko, noma uzodala into entsha? 

Isibonelo, uma usuku lokuzalwa lomlingani wakho lusondela, ungase unqume ukuvakashela indawo ayithandayo, noma mhlawumbe ubhale incwadi echaza lokho okuphuthelwayo. Ngosuku lwakho lomshado noma ngosuku lokukhumbula ukufa kwakhe, ungase ukhanyise ikhandlela noma udlale ingoma enenjongo. Kuyibhalansi ebucayi: yenza lokho okuzwakala kulungile kuwe. 

Nawa amanye amathiphu awusizo:

• Hlela phambili: Maka izinsuku ezibalulekile ekhalendeni lakho futhi mhlawumbe uzibhalele inothi ngesonto ngaphambi kosuku ukuze ulungiselele usuku. 
• Khulumisana: Yazisa abantu abambalwa ukuthi usuku lokugubha usuku luni. Banike ithuba lokuzihlola ngalolo suku.
• Dala isiko: Lokhu kungaba yinto elula: ukukhanyisa ikhandlela elikhethekile ngosuku lwabo lokuzalwa, ukukhulula amabhaluni ngosuku lwabo lokuzalwa, noma ukwenza isidlo sakusihlwa abasithandayo
• Vumela ukuguquguquka: Ezinye izikhathi zingase zikuphazamise. Kulungile. Uma ngosuku lokugubha usuku uzithola ukhala, ungazijezisi. Mhlawumbe uxolise emsebenzini noma uphume embuthanweni

Lapho Usizi Luba Lukhulu Kakhulu

Kuvamile ukuba nezinsuku ezinzima kakhulu. Kodwa-ke, uma usizi lwakho luzwakala lungalawuleki nhlobo noma lungapheli, kungaba usizi oluyinkimbinkimbi, olubizwa nangokuthi isifo sosizi esiqhubekayo). Izimpawu eziyisixwayiso zifaka:

• Ukulangazelela okuqhubekayo, okunamandla: Uhlala ucabanga ngomlingani wakho futhi uzizwa ubuhlungu obucishe bube ngokwenyama ngaye
• Ukungakwazi ukwamukela ukufa: Ungase ungakholwa ukuthi bahambile ngempela, noma ucabange ukuthi uzobabona futhi
• Ukungazizwa kahle noma ukushaqeka ngokomzwelo: Uzizwa uhlukene nokuphila nabantu abakuzungezile
• Ukuphelelwa yithemba ngekusasa: Ukholelwa ngempela ukuthi impilo ayisoze yaba ngcono, futhi awukwazi ukucabanga ngokujabulela noma yini ngaphandle kwabo
• Ukungasebenzi kahle: Usizi lwakho lwenza kube nzima ukusingatha imisebenzi yansuku zonke. Isibonelo, awukwazi ukuvuka embhedeni amasonto noma ukunakekela izingane zakho

Uma lezi zimpawu zihlala isikhathi esingaphezu konyaka noma zizwakala zingabekezeleleki, kungase kube yisikhathi sokufuna usizo lochwepheshe. Ukwelashwa, amaqembu okusekela, noma ngisho nemithi kungaba amathuluzi adingekayo. Wena kanye noshonelwe kufanele nithole lolo sizo.

Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa

Imicabango Final

Ekugcineni, unyaka wokuqala ngemva kokulahlekelwa umlingani umayelana nokunakekelwa nokusinda, hhayi ukuphelela. Zinike imvume yokulila, funa usizo uma uludinga, futhi ukhumbule ukuthi, usuku nosuku, uzojwayela le mpilo entsha. Unamandla kakhulu kunalokho okwaziyo, futhi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi uzothola indlela yokudlulisa uthando lwakho phambili esahlukweni sakho esilandelayo.

Umyeni Wami Washona Futhi Ngifuna Abuye: Ukubhekana Nosizi 

Indlela Engabhekana Ngayo Ngemva Kokulahlekelwa Umlingani Wami Ngo-9/11 

Izimpawu Ezi-5 Eziphezulu Zomfelwa Zibucayi Ngobudlelwano Bakho 

Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.