Kodi Kubera Kumakhudza Bwanji Mkazi - Ndemanga Ya Katswiri

Kusakhulupirika n’kutheka kuti ndi chimodzi mwa zinthu zoipa kwambiri zimene zingachitikire munthu amene ali pachibwenzi. Zimabweretsa kusintha mwa amuna ndi akazi koma cholinga chathu chili pa izi. Ndiye chinyengo chimamukhudza bwanji mkazi? Kodi mkazi amamva bwanji atanyenga pachibwenzi?

Kuti timvetse bwino momwe kusakhulupirika kumakhudzira mkazi, tinayankhula ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Jaseena Backer (MS Psychology), yemwe ndi katswiri wowongolera jenda ndi ubale. Tinali ndi maganizo ake okhudza ngati kubera kumakhudza bwanji munthu wachinyengo.

Kunyengedwa ndi munthu amene umamukonda kumapweteka kwambiri. Palibe kukaikira za izo. Koma n’chifukwa chiyani kubera kumapweteka kwambiri? Jaseena akuti: “N’zopweteka chifukwa chakuti ndi unansi wodzipereka umene okwatirana onse aŵiri amangopezeka kwa wina ndi mnzake basi.

N'chifukwa chiyani anthu amabera? Pali zifukwa zambiri za izi monga kusowa kukhutitsidwa m'maganizo, kusowa chikondi, kukhumudwa, kudzikayikira, komanso chizolowezi chogonana kapena kufunikira kogonana kosiyana kapena kwatsopano. Kwa ena, kubera kumawonedwa ngati chidaliro kapena chilimbikitso. Anthu amaberanso kuti apewe mavuto aumwini kapena achibale.

Jaseena akufotokoza momveka bwino kuti: “Mwina amapeza munthu wina wokongola kapena amafuna kukhutitsidwa ndi kugonana komwe mwina kulibe m’banja mwawo.” Akazi ena amabera chifukwa chakuti sapezanso chikondi, chisamaliro kapena chisungiko chilichonse chamaganizo m’banja lawo.

Zilibe kanthu kuti munthu wakhala nthawi yayitali bwanji ndi bwenzi lake. Kusakhulupirika kwa bwenzi, ndiye, kumasankha njira kapena tsogolo la ubalewo. Nthawi zina, okwatirana amatha kuziyika kumbuyo, pamene ena, zimakhala zosatheka kuthetsa kusakhulupirika.

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Kodi achinyengo amavutika chifukwa cha zochita zawo? Kodi kubera kumakhudza bwanji munthu wachinyengo? Malingana ndi Jaseena, “Poyamba, woberayo sangaganizire kwambiri za mmene chibwenzi kapena chibwenzi china chingakhudzire mwamuna wake pamene akugonana.” Pambuyo pake, kudziimba mlandu kumayamba chifukwa cha mkwiyo wochuluka woponyedwa kwa iye ndi munthu amene akubera nayeyo. kunyenga wolakwa zimakonda kukhala zapamwamba ngati ana akukhudzidwa.

“Obera amachitanso manyazi ngati achibale, mabwenzi kapena ogwira nawo ntchito adziwa za chibwenzicho. Chifukwa cha kugwirizana kwachinsinsi, achiwembu nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi mantha kuti angagwidwe kapena kuchititsidwa manyazi poyera ndi mnzawo wopusitsidwayo.

Zonse zomwe zanenedwa ndikuchita, mwina palibe chifukwa chochitira chinyengo munthu. Simungathe kusewera ndi malingaliro a mnzanu. Kusakhulupirika n’kopweteka kwambiri. Zimathetsa maubwenzi ndi maukwati anthawi yayitali.

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Kunyenga kumakhudza amuna ndi akazi m’njira zosiyanasiyana. Koma, apa, tikukamba za momwe kubera kumakhudzira mkazi. Nazi njira 9:

1. Zingathe kumubweretsa pafupi ndi bwenzi lake

Jaseena anati: “Kubera kungapangitsenso mkazi kukhala pa ubwenzi wolimba ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wake.” tengana mosasamala. Ngati asankha kupitiriza chibwenzicho, mwina atero, zomwe siziyenera kuchitika. Kuzindikira kumeneku kukafika, amayamba kukonzanso malire awo, zomwe zimawabweretsa pafupi wina ndi mnzake. ”

Kusakhulupirika nthawi zambiri kumatengedwa ngati kulakwitsa kosakhululukidwa muubwenzi. Koma, maanja ambiri amatha kudutsamo ndikupitiriza chiyanjano. Kuti izi zitheke, onse awiri ayenera kukhala okonzeka kuvomereza ndi kuthetsa vuto lomwe lilipo. Ayenera kuvomereza zophophonya zawo ndi kuzindikira zomwe zidayambitsa chibwenzicho.

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Mkazi wachinyengo ayenera kupepesa mochokera pansi pa mtima, kutenga thayo, kuvomereza kupwetekedwa mtima kumene iye wadzetsa kwa mwamuna amene anamkonda kwambiri, ndi kuchitapo kanthu kupeŵanso kuyenda m’njira yowopsa imodzimodziyo. Onse awiri ayenera kukambirana za nkhaniyi. Ndi zowawa koma zofunika.

Chithandizo chingathandize. Kupita ku chithandizo cha maanja kungawathandize kuthana ndi zovuta izi. Ndi othandizira ovomerezeka komanso odziwa zambiri pagulu la Bonobology, chithandizo choyenera ndi a dinani kutali.

2. Amakumana ndi manyazi, mkwiyo ndi kudziimba mlandu

Kodi mkazi amamva bwanji atabera pachibwenzi kapena m'banja? Amadziimba mlandu chifukwa cha kupwetekedwa mtima kwa wokondedwa wake, makamaka ngati agwidwa ndi vuto. Pamakhala mkwiyo ndi manyazi ambiri komanso ngati anthu oyandikana naye adziwa za chibwenzicho.

Ngakhale okwatiranawo atasankha kusamuka, zimakhala zovuta kutero khazikitsani chidaliro mu ubale kupangitsa mkazi kumva chisoni kuti adakhumudwitsa mnzake. Umu ndi momwe chinyengo chimakhudzira mkazi. Kudziimba mlandu ndi mkwiyo zimabweranso pozindikira kuti samangonyenga mnzake komanso achibale ake ndi mabwenzi.

Jaseena anati: “Amadziona kuti ndi wolakwa ndipo zimamuvuta kukumana ndi mwamuna wake komanso anthu onse a m’banja lake chifukwa amakumana ndi mavuto ambiri a m’banja lake chifukwa ankadziwa kuti banja lake silidzakhalanso chimodzimodzi.

3. Amavutika m’maganizo ndi m’maganizo

Mkazi wonyenga amakonda kukhala moyo wapawiri. Amakondana ndi mwamuna wake komanso bwenzi lake. Ndiye chinyengo chimamukhudza bwanji mkazi? Kubisa chibwenzi kungakhale kotopetsa. Kuopa kugwidwa kumakhalapo nthawi zonse. Komanso, kudziimba mlandu ndi kudzikwiyira yekha chifukwa chokhumudwitsa munthu amene amamukonda kwambiri.

Akhoza kusangalala ndi chisangalalo ndi zochitika za kukhala ndi chibwenzi. Jaseena anati: “Akhoza kutulukiranso zachikondi komanso kugonana. Koma kumapeto kwa tsiku, ayenera kuyang'anizana ndi wokondedwa wake ndikuyika chithunzithunzi. Zikatero, zimakhala zovuta kuwongolera malingaliro omwe amatsogolera ku kupsinjika kwamalingaliro komwe kumakhudza khalidwe lake ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wake ndi okondedwa ena.

Jaseena akufotokozanso kuti: “Mkazi akhoza kukhala ndi nkhawa komanso kudziona ngati wosatetezeka. kukhala ndi bwenzi lake. Akhoza kulephera ngati ataya maubwenzi onse awiri - mwamuna kapena mkazi wake komanso bwenzi lake. Izi zitha kuyambitsa kupsinjika maganizo. ”

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4. Zimasokoneza banja lake

N'chifukwa chiyani kubera kumapweteka? Ngati mkazi agwidwa akubera, ndiye kuti izi zikhudza banja lake. Zikhoza kukhala ndi zotsatira zowononga kwa wokondedwa wake ndi ana chifukwa kusakhulupirika kumawasokoneza maganizo. Zimasokoneza kukhulupirirana kwawo, chitetezo chawo komanso kukhulupirira maubwenzi.

Zingakhale zovuta makamaka kwa ana chifukwa zimawapweteka moyo wawo wonse. Sangathe kudalira amayi awo kwathunthu kapena kuyika ndalama mu maubwenzi mtsogolo. Kudziwa kuti mabanja awo akusweka chifukwa cha kusakhulupirika kwa amayi awo kungawononge thanzi lawo lamalingaliro ndi malingaliro.

“Ngati mkaziyo asankha kutero thetsa ukwati, ali ndi mwayi wotaya chilichonse, kuphatikizapo makhalidwe abwino chifukwa anthu adzamuimba mlandu chifukwa chophwanya nyumba yake,” akutero Jaseena.

5. Kodi chinyengo chimakhudza bwanji mkazi? Amawopa karma

Jaseena akufotokoza kuti mantha aakulu amene wachinyengo amakumana nawo ndi karma. Iye anati: “Mkazi wachinyengo anapereka munthu amene anali naye pachibwenzi kapena kukwatiwa naye chifukwa cha munthu wina.” Nanga bwanji ngati munthu ameneyu nayenso wamupereka chifukwa cha munthu wina?

Mkazi wachinyengo nthawi zonse amakhala ndi nkhawa kuti alawe mankhwala ake. Nanga bwanji ngati atasiya chibwenzi ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wake n’kukapitiriza chibwenzi n’kungomupereka? “Iye amaonanso kuti alibe chisungiko ponena za munthu watsopanoyu amachoka paukwati wake, kodi mwamuna amene anali naye pachibwenzi angalolere kuchita naye chibwenzi?” Jaseena akufotokoza.

6. Pali kusalidwa komwe kumakhudzana ndi kubera

Kodi kubera kumakhudza bwanji mkazi? N'chifukwa chiyani kubera kumapweteka? Chabwino, zimangosangalatsa mpaka wina adziwe za izo. Pamene achibale, abwenzi ndi okondedwa adziwa za kuperekedwa, mkazi wachinyengo amakakamizika kuthana ndi ndemanga zoipa ndi manyazi omwe amadza. Iye sangakhoze kuzithawa izo. Ayenera kupirira kuopsa kwa mkwiyo wawo.

Jaseena ananena kuti: “Mkaziyo ayenera kupirira nthaŵi zonse pamene mwamuna wake ndi achibale ake amamunyoza.” Ayeneranso kukumana ndi chilango, mopanda ulemu komanso kusintha mmene mwamuna wake amamuonera. ubale ukhoza kukhala wovuta ndi kusintha kwakukulu. ”

Ngakhale atakhala kuti alibe ana, akupereka mnzake. Ndipotu, osati wokondedwa wake yekha komanso banja lake, makolo ake omwe, abwenzi, achibale, abale ndi achibale omwe akhalapo kwa iye ndikumukonda kwambiri. Mkazi wachinyengo amakonda kukhumudwitsa ndi kuwapweteka onse ngati agwidwa. Mwina sadzatha kumukonda kapena kumulemekeza mofanana.

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7. Akhoza kuberanso nthawi zonse

Ndi chowonadi chomwe chimavomerezedwa padziko lonse lapansi kuti ngati munanyengapo kamodzi, mungathedi nyenga kachiwiri. Ndipotu kafukufuku wina waposachedwapa wasonyeza kuti anthu achinyengo nthawi zonse amangofuna zosangalatsa. Amafuna kufufuza, potero akuwonjezera mwayi wonyenga anzawo kangapo.

Kafukufuku wina wa Archives of Sexual Behavior anasonyeza kuti anthu amene akhalapo pa maubwenzi akale amakhala ndi mwayi wobwerezabwereza zimenezi muubwenzi watsopano kapena wamtsogolo. Zinthu monga kusadzipereka paubwenzi, kuchepa kwa kugonana ndi kukhutitsidwa ndi maubwenzi komanso kusiyana kwa wina ndi mnzake kumapangitsa anthu kunyenga kangapo paubwenzi.

Kodi mkazi angasinthe pambuyo pa chinyengo? Inde, inde! Musatichititse cholakwika. Sitikunena kuti mkazi wachinyengo sangathe kukonza njira zake. Koma mwayi wobwereza kuchitapo kanthu umakhalapo mutalawa chipatso choletsedwacho.

Jaseena anati: “Mkazi sadzakhalanso chimodzimodzi akachita chinyengo, ndipo maganizo ake asintha, ndipo anapeza chinthu china chatsopano pambuyo pa kuchita chinyengo pachibwenzicho.

8. Amayika maubwenzi amtsogolo pachiwopsezo

Kodi kubera kumakhudza bwanji munthu wachinyengo? Mchitidwe umodzi wachinyengo ndi mkazi wonyenga zimayika maubwenzi ake onse amtsogolo pachiswe. Lingaliro la 'kamodzi wonyenga, nthawizonse wachinyengo' amayamba kugwira ntchito. Abwenzi amtsogolo sangakhulupirire mkazi akadziwa zakale kusakhulupirika.

Mfundo yoti mkazi yemwe amamuwona ngati bwenzi lawo lotha kukhala naye ali ndi nthawi ziwiri kapena anali ndi zibwenzi zambiri muubwenzi wake wakale zimawapangitsa kukhala osamala. Iwo sangakhulupirire mkaziyo chifukwa ngati akanatha kunyenga mwamuna wake wakale akhoza kuwanyenganso. Palibe chitsimikizo kuti adzakhala wokhulupirika muubwenzi watsopano.

9. Amalimbitsa njira zapoizoni

Kodi kubera kumakhudza bwanji mkazi? Chabwino, si ndendende chizindikiro cha khalidwe labwino, kuyamba pomwe. Zingawoneke ngati lingaliro lalikulu pachiyambi ngati simukukhutira ndi wokondedwa wanu, koma, pachimake chake, ndi chizindikiro cha khalidwe lapoizoni. Mwinamwake mukudzinamiza nokha ngati mukuganiza kuti ndizosangalatsa kapena zimakupangitsani kumva bwino.

Mwina mkaziyo anayamba kukhulupirirana kapena nkhawa za ubale ngati mwana. Zochitika zakale zikanathandizanso. Ngati akuganiza kuti ubwenzi umene ulipo watha, ndiye kuti kubera kungaoneke ngati njira yabwino kwambiri yothetsera chibwenzicho. Koma zonse zomwe akuchita ndikuwonjezera machitidwe oopsa m'moyo wake. Tangoganizani - sikwabwino kukambilana ndi okondedwa wanu za tsogolo la chibwenzi m'malo momunyengerera ndikuthetsa zinthu mwawawa?

Kodi mkazi amamva bwanji atanyenga? Mkazi amakumana ndi malingaliro osiyanasiyana - mkwiyo, manyazi, nkhawa, manyazi, chisoni - atabera pachibwenzi. Ngati akumva chisoni chifukwa cha zowawa zomwe adakhumudwitsa mnzakeyo, amayamba kudziimba mlandu ndipo zimamuvuta kukonza. Akuona ngati akuyenera kulangidwa.

Jaseena ananenanso kuti: “Mkazi angasankhe kuchita chiwerewere, amadziwa kuti si chinthu choyenera kuchita.

Kusakhulupirika kungawononge ubwenzi. Ngati munamunyengerera mnzanu, dziwani kuti mwalakwa. Kunyenga kumakhudza mnzanuyo komanso inu chifukwa pali zambiri zomwe zili pachiwopsezo - banja, abwenzi, akuntchito ndi maubale ena ofunikira. Chofunika koposa, thanzi lanu lamalingaliro ndi malingaliro liri pachiwopsezonso, chifukwa chake ndikofunikira kuti mulankhule ndi kuthana ndi mavuto a ubale ndikumvetsetsa zomwe zidayambitsa mchitidwewo.

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