Palibe chinthu monga ubale wangwiro. Ngakhale okwatirana abwino, okhala ndi zithunzi zokongola kwambiri za tchuthi za Instagram, amavomereza zolakwika ndi zosweka muubwenzi wawo. Komabe, kuchuluka kwa chiwonongeko kungathe kufika pamlingo wosiyana kwambiri pamene mthunzi wakuda wa kusakhulupirika ukhudza ubale. Kaya kubera mwadala, kwa nthawi yayitali kapena kukumana kamodzi kokha, kumakhala kosangalatsa panthawiyo koma kumabweretsa kusokonezeka kwamalingaliro. Funso ndilakuti, mumachita nazo bwanji? Mumaulula kwa okondedwa anu ndikukhala oyera? Ndipo ngati simutero, mumadabwa kuti mungadzikhululukire bwanji chifukwa chachinyengo komanso osanena?
Kafukufuku wa mu 2020 anasonyeza kuti 20% ya amuna okwatira, ndi 10% ya akazi okwatira, adavomereza kuti adanyenga akazi awo. Ziwerengerozi zikusonyeza kuti pakhoza kukhala ambiri omwe sangavomereze, chifukwa kuvomereza chigololo kumabweretsa mavuto aakulu - manyazi, ululu, mkwiyo, komanso kuthekera kwa ukwati kusweka. Ndipo kusunga zonsezi kungakusiyeni mukudzimva kuti ndinu wolakwa komanso wodzaza ndi malingaliro monga "Sindidzadzikhululukira ndekha chifukwa cha chinyengo".
Funso limabuka, kodi mungadzikhululukire nokha chifukwa cha chinyengo popanda kunena ndikupulumutsa ubale wanu? Ngati mwakhala mukulimbana ndi malingaliro akuti "Ndinanyenga koma sindinanenepo. Tsopano sindingathe kukhala ndekha", tili pano kuti tikupatseni malangizo okhudza kudzikhululukira ndikupita patsogolo pokambirana ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Gopa Khan (Masters in Counseling Psychology, M.Ed), yemwe ndi katswiri pa uphungu wa mabanja ndi mabanja.
Kodi Mungadzikhululukire Nokha Chifukwa Chobera Osanena?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Musanayang'ane momwe mungadzikhululukire chifukwa chachinyengo komanso osanena, ndikofunikira kudziwa ngati kuli kotheka kusiya kulakwa ndikupita patsogolo. Choyamba, dziwani kuti kukhala ndi nkhawa komanso kudziimba mlandu pambuyo pa chinyengo ndizabwinobwino, makamaka ngati mnzanuyo ali mumdima ndipo muyenera kupitiliza kuwoneka kuti zonse zili bwino muubwenzi wanu. Nthawi zonse, kudzimva kuti ndiwe wolakwa chifukwa chachinyengo komanso osanena ngati katundu pachifuwa.
Mnzanga — tiyeni timutche Sammy — anatha kuchita chigololo ndi mwamuna wake atagwirizananso ndi chibwenzi chake chakale . Chibwenzicho chinapitirira kwa zaka 5, ndipo zonsezi sizinatheke kwa munthu aliyense. Chochitikacho chinali chodzipatula kwambiri kotero kuti zizindikiro za kudzimva wolakwa atachita chigololo zinayamba kumuvutitsa. Kudziona wokha komanso manyazi, zomwe zinawonjezeka chifukwa chakuti sakanatha kudziletsa kugona ndi chibwenzi chake chakale mosasamala kanthu kuti anatsimikiza mtima bwanji kuthetsa ubale, zinamusiya ali ndi nkhawa zambiri ndipo zinamupangitsa kuvutika maganizo.
Ngakhale kuti anali wokhoza kuika chibwenzicho pabedi, liwongo la kunyenga ndi kusanena linapitiriza kumudya. “Ndinanyenga mwamuna wanga ndipo sindinamuuzepo, tsopano liwongo landidya,” iye anandiulula zakukhosi patatha zaka ziŵiri atathetsa chibwenzicho. Pa nthawiyi, iye anali atalandira chithandizo kwa nthawi yaitali, choncho ndinamufunsa zimene dokotala wake ananena pa nkhani ya kudzikhululukira chifukwa chobera. Zinapezeka kuti anali asanabweretse chithandizo chamankhwala - uku kunali kuchuluka kwa manyazi komanso kudziimba mlandu. Ndipo kuthetsa nkhawa zonsezo ndi kudziimba mlandu pambuyo pa chinyengo kunali kupangitsa kuti maganizo ake akhale oipitsitsa.
Ndinaumiriza ndi kuumiriza ndi kuumiriza. Pamapeto pake, iye anayamba kulankhula za izo mu chithandizo ndipo anayamba kupeza momwe angachitire ndi liwongo la kubera. Chifukwa chake, ngati mukuganiza, "Kodi mutha kunyenga osanena?" - kapena chofunika kwambiri, "Kodi mungadzikhululukire chifukwa chachinyengo popanda kunena?" — dziwani kuti njira yodzikhululukira siidzakhala yophweka. Koma ndi khama lokhazikika ndi thandizo loyenera, mungaphunzire kukhululuka mwachinyengo popanda kunena.
Pazifukwa izi, Gopa akuti, "Mfundo yakuti munthu akudabwa momwe angathanirane ndi mlandu wa chinyengo ndikudzikhululukira yekha ndi chizindikiro chakuti ali ndi chisoni pa zomwe adachita. Malingana ngati kulakwa kumachokera kumalo odzimvera chisoni komanso odandaula, n'zotheka kuthetsa machitidwe osayenera, m'malo mwake ndi omwe ali ndi thanzi labwino, yesetsani kumanga ubale wabwino, kulolerana ndi wochita chiwerewere, komabe, yesetsani kumanga ubale wabwino ndi wolakwayo. malingaliro ameneŵa amachokera kumalo odzidetsa ndi kuchita manyazi, ndiye kuti kudzikhululukira chifukwa chobera kungakhale kovuta.”
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Kodi mungabere osanena? Inde, tikuganiza. Kaya muyenera kubwera motsimikiza za kubera ndi kusankha kwanu kwathunthu. Nthawi zambiri, ngati pali lingaliro lachitetezo kuti cholakwacho sichingawonekere, aliyense angakonde kuti asamupatse mnzake. Ndipo pakhoza kukhala njira zambiri zomwe munthu angadziyesere kusankha yekha.
Mwina mukudziwa kuti chibwenzi chanu chinali chinthu chongochitika kamodzi kokha, kugonana kwa usiku umodzi. Mwina muli ndi ana ndipo simukufuna kuwasudzula kapena kupatukana, kapena mikangano yomwe ingabwere ngati muulula kwa mnzanu. Mwina mukuganiza kuti, "Sindidzadzikhululukira ndekha chifukwa cha chinyengo, koma sindikufuna kusokoneza ubale wanga ." Kunyenga ndi kusanena si vuto. Ndipotu, ndi chisankho chosavuta kwambiri. Vuto lenileni ndi kudzimva kuti ndinu wolakwa komwe kumayamba kukumezani pambuyo pake, ngakhale simunagwidwepo mukunyenga.
Susan ananyenga mwamuna wake, Mark, ndi mnzake wa kuntchito. Chibwenzicho chinasokonekera, bamboyo adaponda pamtima pa Susan ndikuchokapo. Ngakhale kuti sanathe kumuululira Mark, zinali zoonekeratu kuti Susan ankangokhalira kudziimba mlandu atabera. Chibwenzicho chitatha, iye anayamba kuvutika maganizo, ndipo Mark ndi amene anaima naye pamavutowo. Tsopano, amadzipeza kuti akulephera kusiya lingaliro lakuti "Ndinanyenga mwamuna wanga ndipo sindinamuuze, sindingathe kudzikhululukira ndekha".
Komabe, kusadzikhululukira nokha chifukwa chachinyengo kumangolepheretsani kusiya zakale ndikutembenuza tsamba latsopano. Ngati mukufuna kupita patsogolo, mosasamala kanthu kuti ubwenzi wanu upulumuka kapena ayi, muyenera kuphunzira kudzikhululukira nokha chifukwa chokhumudwitsa mnzanuyo pamene sakudziwa. Ndiye mungadzikhululukire bwanji mutachita kusakhulupirika? Werenganibe.
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1. Kuyankha mlandu
Ndikhululukire bwanji chifukwa chobera osabwera kwa mnzanga, mukudabwa? Dziwani kuti munalakwitsa, kuti chinyengo chanu chinali chisankho chomwe mudapanga, ngakhale chitakhala chimodzi. M'malo moganiza kuti, "Ndinanyenga ndipo sindingathe kukhala ndi ine ndekha", mvetsetsani kuti muyenera kutero. Izi zili pa inu ndipo muyenera kulimbana nazo ndikukhala nokha tsiku lililonse. Inde, muyenera kudzikhululukira chifukwa chowononga banja lanu kapena ubwenzi wanu, koma zimenezi sizikutanthauza kuti mumanyalanyaza udindo wanu pa zimene munachita.
Kate, yemwe ndi katswiri wa mapulogalamu a mapulogalamu a pakompyuta, anati: “Ndinali ndi msonkhano usiku umodzi nditapita ku msonkhano, ndinkangokhalira kudziuza kuti palibe vuto ndipo sindinkafunika kuuza mwamuna wanga chifukwa zinalibe kanthu. Zinanditengera nthawi yaitali kuti ndizindikire kuti kudzisokoneza sikungandithandize kapena kupulumutsa banja langa.
Gopa akufotokoza kuti, “Chibwenzi chikachitika, kaya ndi chokhudza mtima kapena chakuthupi, zimakhala zokopa kufunafuna zifukwa zodziwikiratu chifukwa chake zidachitika.” Wofuna wanga ananena kuti chibwenzi chake chinachitika “mwachisawawa.” Ndinamufunsa kuti afotokoze momwe anganenere kuti popeza anali atayamba kukopana ngakhale kuti anali wokwatira, kupita masiku, tchuthi chokonzekera, ndi zina zotero.
“Komabe, liwongo la obera likhoza kukhala lopambanitsa kotero kuti nthaŵi zambiri anthu amazemba kutenga udindo ndi kufunafuna zifukwa m’malo mwake.
Ulendo wopeza momwe mungadzikhululukire nokha chifukwa cha chinyengo ndi kusanena umayamba ndi kudzifufuza, kuvomereza ndi kuvomereza udindo. Musadzipweteke nokha kapena kulowa mu dzenje lakuda la kudzimva kuti ndinu wolakwa chifukwa cha chibwenzi chanu kapena chibwenzi chanu cha usiku umodzi - zimenezo sizingakuthandizeni inu kapena mnzanu. Vomerezani zomwe mwachita ndi zomwe zinganene za inu ndi ubale wanu. Chitanipo kanthu, gwirani ntchito nokha, ndipo tikuyembekeza kuyang'ana patsogolo.
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2. Lembani mmene mukumvera
Yankho la momwe mungadzikhululukire nokha chifukwa chachinyengo popanda kunena likhoza kukhala logwirizana kwathunthu ndi malingaliro anu. Kulemba maganizo anu kungathandize pa zimenezo. Zingamveke ngati zisudzo pang'ono, koma zitha kukhala njira yabwino yoyambira machiritso popanda kulemetsa mnzanuyo ndi zenizeni zakuda za zolakwa zanu.
Sungani zolemba zanu ndikutaya zolakwa zanu, mkwiyo wanu, chisoni chanu - zisiyeni zonse. Palibe chifukwa chotsekereza malingaliro anu. Ngati simungathe kudzikhululukira nokha chifukwa chosokoneza banja lanu, lembani. Pamene mwataya mtima, ndipo simungadzikhululukire chifukwa chachinyengo chaledzera komanso osauza mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu, lembani. Kuwona malingaliro anu papepala kungapangitse zinthu kukhala zomveka bwino komanso kukuthandizani kufufuza zifukwa zomwe munalakwira.
Zinthu nthawi zonse zimaoneka zoipa kwambiri zikakhala m'mutu mwanu. Zikangotuluka, mutha kuyamba kuzilimbana nazo m'malo mobisala choonadi. Kodi mungadzikhululukire bwanji chifukwa cha chinyengo osanena? Chotsani m'mutu mwanu ndikupita kudziko lenileni momwe mungathere.
3. Pitirizani kungomvera chisoni
Nyimboyi imati, “Pepani liwu lovuta kwambiri” koma zoona zake, ndi poyambira chabe. Ngati mwachita zachinyengo koma mwasankha kusauza mnzanu, simungamupepese mochokera pansi pa mtima chifukwa chomukhumudwitsa komanso kuswa chidaliro chake. Ndipotu, muyenera kuchita zinthu ngati kuti zonse zili bwino muubwenzi wanu pamene mukumva kuti muli ndi mlandu komanso woipa kwambiri chifukwa cha zomwe mudachita. Izi zingakupangitseni kudzifunsa kuti, “Kodi mlandu wochita zachinyengo umatha? Ngati sichoncho, ndimakhala bwanji ndi ine ndekha kapena ndimayang'anizana ndi mnzanga tsiku lililonse?”
Zili bwino kuganiza kuti, "Ndinanyenga ndipo sindingathe kukhala ndekha", koma mukuchita chiyani nazo? Muyenera kukhala ndi nthawi yodzilingalira nokha ndikuwona zomwe muyenera kuchita kuti izi zisachitikenso. Zedi, simungapepese kwa mnzanuyo m'mawu ambiri koma mutha kuchitapo kanthu kuti muombole ndikukhala bwenzi labwino.
Gopa anatsindika kuti: “N’kofunika kupepesa ngakhale kuti simunganene mokweza, “Munthu afunika kukhala wokangalika m’mabwenzi.” Ngati mukufuna chibwenzicho, muyenera kuchitapo kanthu kuti muthetse chibwenzicho.
“Nthawi zina, makasitomala anga amandifunsa kuti, “Ndinabera ndipo sindinamuuze mnzanga, koma papita zaka zingapo tsopano, kodi ndikufunikabe kukonza zinthu?” Ndimawakumbutsa kuti adzapitirizabe kudziona ngati aliwongo pokhapokha ngati atakumana ndi vuto lodzimvera chisoni komanso kudzimvera chisoni, n’kuyesetsa kuti adzikonzeretu.”
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4. Siyani kudzilanga
Adam, yemwe amagwira ntchito ku banki, anati: “Kodi mungadzikhululukire chifukwa chobera popanda kukuuzani? "Ndinali kumuwona mkazi wina kwa kanthawi ndipo sindinamuuze mkazi wanga. Ndinasiya pambuyo pa miyezi ingapo chifukwa ndinamva chisoni kwambiri. Koma ngakhale kuti sindinamuuze mkazi wanga, ndinakhala m'chitsime cha kudzida kwa miyezi yambiri. Sindinathe kudziwa momwe ndingadzikhululukire chifukwa chachinyengo. Zinafika poti ndimadzikana zinthu zing'onozing'ono zomwe ndimakonda - nsapato zatsopano, kusewera masewera a pakompyuta, masewera a pakompyuta."
“N’kwachibadwa kudziimba mlandu chifukwa cha zochita zako,” Gopa akuvomereza kuti, “Komabe, podzilanga, pamapeto pake mumawononga mphamvu zanu, zimene zingathandize kuti ubwenzi wanu kapena ukwati wanu ukhale wabwino.
"Posakhalitsa anazindikira kuti analibe mphamvu yoti akhale paubwenzi wodzipereka komanso kuti sikunali chilungamo kwa bwenzi lake. Kenako anaganiza zothetsa chibwenzicho m'malo mwa kunyenga ndiyeno amadziimba mlandu chifukwa chachinyengo ndi kudzilanga yekha. Njira yabwino kwambiri ndiyo kuganizira kuthetsa mavuto monga kudzilanga kumakulepheretsani kupita patsogolo."
Kuti muthe kudzikhululukira chifukwa chowononga ubale wanu ponyenga mnzanuyo, muyenera kudzimvera chisoni m’malo mopita pansi pa dzenje la kalulu lodzinyansidwa ndi kudziimba mlandu. Chitetezero ndichabwino, koma simukupita patsogolo kapena kukhala bwenzi labwino podzilanga nokha. Mutha kuganiza kuti mukudziyeretsa nokha ku zolakwa zanu ndikupanga chinyengo, koma zonse zomwe mukuchita ndikukumba dzenje lakuya la kudzida ndi kudzimvera chisoni kuti muzichita nawo.
5. Funsani thandizo la akatswiri
Kodi mungadzikhululukire bwanji chifukwa chachinyengo komanso osanena? Fufuzani malo otetezeka momwe mungagawire chipwirikiti chonsecho chomwe chikukula m'maganizo mwanu popanda kuwopa kuweruzidwa kapena kulakwa. M’pomveka chifukwa chake mungaganize kuti kukambirana ndi mnzanu za nkhaniyi sikungakhale bwino. Kukhoza kuyika ubale wanu pachiswe. Apa ndipamene kuyankhula ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo kungakhale kovuta kwambiri.
Izi zingakhale zovuta popanda kulola mnzanuyo kudziwa. Ngati zafika poti simukufunanso kubisala kwa mnzanuyo, mutha kusiya chibwenzi pamene mukukonza mavuto anu. Sayenera kudziwa kuti mwanyenga, koma kuti muli ndi mavuto ena ndipo mukufuna nthawi yopempha thandizo.
Ngati muli ndi malo okwanira komanso ufulu wodziyimira pawokha muubwenzi wanu, palibe chifukwa chomwe simungayambire chithandizo cha munthu payekha popanda kufotokoza chifukwa chake mukuchifunikira kwa mnzanu. Ngati mukuganiza kuti muyenera kulankhula ndi katswiri kuti mupeze yankho la "ndingathetse bwanji mlandu wochita chinyengo popanda kumuuza", gulu la akatswiri a Bonobology lili pano kuti likuthandizeni.
Gopa anati: “Nthawi zambiri, munthu amene wazembera amaona kuti mnzakeyo akufunika thandizo. Koma n’kofunika kwambiri kuti mnzake amene wazemberayo aganizire zimene anachita komanso kumvetsa mmene khalidwe lawo limakhudzira anthu amene amakhala nawo pafupi.
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6. Kuulula kumapwetekanso wokondedwa wanu
Mukapeza kuti mukukakamira pa funso lakuti, "Kodi ndingathetse bwanji mlandu wachinyengo popanda kumuuza?", Zingakhale zokopa kuulula mtima wanu kwa wokondedwa wanu. Kudziyeretsa pa zolakwa zanu kungakhale kovuta m'njira zambiri, ndikumverera ngati kuti katundu wanu wachotsedwa. Komabe, dziwani kuti kuvomereza chigololo kungakupangitseni kumva bwino, koma kumasamutsa mtolo kwa mnzanuyo.
Ganizilani izi: Kodi mumafunitsitsa kuulula chifukwa mukuganiza kuti zidzakuchepetsani mpira wawukulu wolakwa m'matumbo anu? Kodi mwatopa kunyamula nokha mtolowo ndikudzifunsa kuti mukhululukire bwanji chifukwa chokhumudwitsa mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu pamene sakudziwa? Mwina kukanakhala kosavuta kudzikhululukira ngati akudziwa. Nkhani ndi yakuti, kudzipangitsa kukhala kosavuta kwa inu nokha sizomwe mukuyesera kukwaniritsa pano.
Muli pano kuti mugwire ntchitoyo ndikudzikhululukira nokha kuti mukhale bwino. Ngati mungavomereze kwa mnzanu, ganizirani momwe zingawapangitse kumva. Kodi ayenera kunyamula nkhani zokhulupirirana komanso kukayikira kosalekeza kuti ali pachibwenzi ndi munthu amene ananyenga? Sitikuganiza choncho.
"Pali chizolowezi chakuti ngati munanyenga wokondedwa wanu, muyenera kutaya nyemba. Nthawi zambiri mnzanuyo amamupweteka kwambiri moti amafuna kudziwa zonse. Ndinali ndi kasitomala, yemwe amamufunsa mwamuna wake ngati kugonana kuli bwino ndi munthu wina, ndi zina zotero. Monga mlangizi, ndimapanga mzere wokhudzana ndi zachikondi, ngakhale mungafunike, muuzeni mnzanuyo za chibwenzicho," adatero.
7. Khalani achangu posintha nokha
Takambirana za momwe kupepesa sikukwanira pano. Tsindikani mfundo imeneyi pozindikira kuti muyenera kuchitapo kanthu mwachangu kuti musinthe nokha komanso momwe mumaonera zinthu. Mwina simuli munthu woipa kwambiri, mwina ndinu munthu chabe ndipo munalakwitsa kapena zolakwa zingapo. Tsopano mukumva kuti mwavunda chifukwa chokhala mwamuna kapena mkazi wonyenga ndipo simukufuna kuti ubale wanu uwonongeke chifukwa cha zimenezo. Ndiye, mukufuna kuchita chiyani pa izi, kupatula kumva chisoni kwambiri?
Ken, yemwe ndi katswiri wofufuza za anthu osuta, ananena kuti: “Ndinachita chibwenzi ndi munthu wina kwachidule, ndipo sindinamuuze mkazi wanga. Chifukwa cha zimenezi, liwongo langa linasintha n’kukhala mkwiyo ndi mkwiyo kulinga kwa mkazi wanga, osati kokha kuti ndinali mwamuna wachinyengo, komanso ndinalinso mnzanga woipa.”
Tikubwerezanso apa kuti, muyenera kuchita ntchitoyo. Ngati nthawi zonse mumakhala ndi chidwi ndi anthu ena, sankhani kusankha ukwati wanu tsiku lililonse, m'malo movulaza mnzanu kapena banja lanu. Dulani ubale ndi munthu amene munali naye pachibwenzi ndipo tsatirani lamulo loti musalankhulane naye moona mtima. Dzikumbutseni kuti muli ndi mwayi wokhala ndi mnzanu wabwino komanso kuti mwapanga ubale wabwino ndi iye. Kuti mukhalebe m'gulu la anthu otere, muyenera kukhala bwino.
Gopa akufotokoza kuti, "Kukhala ndi chibwenzi kumatanthauza kuti munthu ayenera kuyesetsa kuthetsa chibwenzicho. Ubale uliwonse umabwera ndi zovuta. Ngati, pambuyo pa chinyengo, muzindikira kuti mwalakwitsa kwambiri, ndiye kuti muli ndi udindo wodzipangira nokha kuti muwone bwino. Ndinali ndi kasitomala yemwe adasiya mwamuna wake kuti akwatirane naye koma sakanatha kupeza mwana wake yekhayo womulera, ndipo adapanga zisankho zabwino kuchokera panthawiyo. pokumbukira mmene zinamukhudzira iye ndi mwana wake wamkazi mpaka pamene wina atenga udindo ndi kusankha kusintha moyo wake kukhala wabwino, palibe zambiri zomwe zingasinthe muubwenzi.
8. Mvetserani zomwe zidasowa muubwenzi wanu
N’kutheka kuti munasochera n’kuyamba chibwenzi chifukwa chakuti ubwenzi wanu sunali mmene mumafunira kapena zimene mumayembekezera. Mwinamwake munakopeka ndi munthu amene amagawana nawo chidwi chanu pa kukwera miyala kapena kukonda mafilimu akale m'njira yomwe mnzanuyo satero. Ndizovuta kuvomereza kuti ubale wanu womwe ulipo sungakhale ndendende momwe mumafunira komanso kuti njira yanu yothanirana nayo ndi kubera.
Komabe, ndikofunikira kumvetsetsa ngati panali chifukwa chomwe chinakupangitsani kulakwitsa kupitirira kutopa muubwenzi wanu , kapena chifukwa chakuti munali oledzera ndipo munakondwera kuti winawake akukusamalirani. Ngati mukuganiza kuti pali chinachake chomwe chikusowa muubwenzi wanu, ganizirani zolankhula ndi mnzanu za izi. Kuti musangalale, musamuimbe mlandu - chiwoneni ngati kukambirana za momwe mungasinthire momwe zinthu zilili muubwenzi wanu. Ngati mukuganiza kuti ming'alu muubwenzi wanu singakonzedwe, mwina ndi nthawi yoti muganizire zothetsa chibwenzi kapena kupatukana. Kukhalabe muubwenzi chifukwa chodzimva kuti muli ndi mlandu chifukwa cha chinyengo sikungakuthandizeni inu kapena mnzanuyo mtsogolo.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Chidule cha Masitepe a Kudzimva Wolakwa Pambuyo pa Kunyenga
Gopa, "N'zotheka kuti kunyenga chinali chizindikiro cha vuto linalake muubwenzi/ukwati wanu woyamba. Komabe, ndikofunikira kukumbukira kuti maubwenzi nthawi zonse amakumana ndi mavuto ambiri koma kunyenga si njira yothetsera mavuto. Njira yabwino ndiyo kuyang'ana kwambiri paubwenzi wanu. Ngati pali chiyeso, ndibwino kuvomereza koma osachitapo kanthu ndikuzindikira zinthu zomwe zingawapangitse kukhala pachiwopsezo chosankha chibwenzi. Nthawi zonse, anthu akakhala ndi malire olimba aumwini ndi maubwenzi , kudzidalira, kulemekezana, ndi kudalirana, mwayi wonyenga umachepa."
Zolozera Mfungulo
- Liwongo la kubera litha kukhala lambiri, makamaka mukakhalabe ndi chibwenzi chanu ndipo simungathe kuwoneka bwino kwa mnzanu.
- Ngakhale ndizovuta, ndizotheka kuthana ndi malingaliro olakwawa ndikudzikhululukira nokha chifukwa chachinyengo komanso osauza mnzanu za izo.
- Kuyankha mlandu, kudzimvera chisoni komanso kudzimvera chisoni, komanso kudzigwira ntchito mwakhama ndi njira zina zodzikhululukira chifukwa chachinyengo popanda kunena.
- Kufunafuna chithandizo kumatha kukhala kopindulitsa kwambiri pakuthana ndi malingaliro odziimba mlandu komanso manyazi ndikupita patsogolo
Kudzikhululukira chifukwa chobera komanso osanena sikophweka. Muli ndi malingaliro olakwika ambiri ndipo ndizotheka kuti adzafalikiranso mbali zina za moyo wanu. Ndikonso kulinganiza bwino pakati pa kuyankha mokwanira pa zochita zanu ndi kudzilanga mosalekeza pa zimene munachita. Muyeneranso kupanga chisankho ngati mukufuna kupitiriza ndi ukwati wanu kapena ubale wanu, kapena ngati kubera kwanu chinali chizindikiro chimodzi cha mavuto angapo omwe ali nawo mu chiyanjano.
Mulimonse momwe zingakhalire, mudzakhala mukunyamula zolemetsa zambiri nokha, pokhapokha mutasankha kupeza thandizo la akatswiri. Pamene mukulimbana ndi zonsezi, mufunikanso kukhalabe ndi mawonekedwe ozungulira okondedwa anu ndi banja lanu. Ndi zambiri zoti mutenge ndipo mudzakhala ndi masiku omwe mungaganize kuti zingakhale zophweka kuti mumve bwino ndikuwuza mnzanuyo. Dzikumbutseni kuti pakapita nthawi, mudzapita patsogolo, ndipo mwachiyembekezo mudzakhala osangalala komanso athanzi monga munthu komanso ngati mnzanu. Lolani chimenecho chikhale cholinga chanu, khalani olimba m’chigamulo chanu, ndipo dzichitireni chifundo popanda kudzimvera chisoni. Zabwino zonse!
Ibibazo
Inde, n’zotheka kudzikhululukira chifukwa chakubera, malinga ngati ndinu okonzeka kugwira ntchito imene ikufunikayo. Kutsuka ziwongo zonse zachinyengo pansi pa kapeti sikungakuthandizeni kapena kudzidetsa nthawi zonse ndi kudziimba mlandu. Kuti mudzikhululukire chifukwa chachinyengo, muyenera kutenga njira yovomerezera, kudziyang'anira nokha ndikupanga kusintha kwabwino m'malingaliro anu, machitidwe, malankhulidwe, ndi zochita zanu.
Si zapafupi kugonjetsa liwongo la chinyengo popanda kunena. Kuti muwonetsetse kuti chochitikachi sichikuyika mthunzi pa thanzi lanu la maganizo ndi thanzi la ubale wanu, ndibwino kuti mugwire ntchito limodzi ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo pokonza zovuta zomwe zingabwere pambuyo pa kusakhulupirika. Ubwino wa uphungu pakugonjetsa kulakwa kwachinyengo sikungatsindike mokwanira.
Ndizovuta kuneneratu nthawi yodzikhululukira nokha chifukwa chachinyengo. Zimatengera chikhalidwe cha kusakhulupirika, umunthu wanu, ndi ubale wanu ndi bwenzi lanu loyamba / mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu. Inde, ukhoza kuwoneka ngati ulendo wautali poyambirira. Koma mukangoyamba kuyenda pang'onopang'ono m'njira yoyenera, kuyenda kumakhala kosavuta.
Momwe Mungakhululukire Bwenzi Lanu Lobera, Ndipo Muyenera Kutero?
Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
