Njira 13 Zothetsera Mtima Wosweka Pamene Mukumukondabe

Ndimakonda mawu a Carrol Bryant awa: "Kusweka kwa mtima ukasweka ndiye phokoso lalikulu kwambiri." Ngati munayamba mwakondana ndipo zinatha, mukudziwa bwino zomwe ndikunena. Ululu ndi angst zitha kuchulukirachulukira ngati mukuyenera kuthana ndi vuto la momwe mungadulire mtima wosweka mukamamukonda. Ndikudziwa kuti ndikumva bwino chifukwa ndidakumana posachedwa pomwe ndidayang'ana mgolo womwewo.

Kunena zowona, ndidakali m’chisoni ndi kuchira. Koma ndaphunzira pang'ono kuti ndingakonde kugawana nawo ngati mukuchita zofanana. Kuti mumve zambiri, ndikubweretserani zidziwitso kuchokera kwa alangizi Prerna Dhingra (MA Clinical Psychology) ndi Shazia Saleem (Masters in Psychology), yemwe amagwira ntchito yopatukana ndi upangiri wosudzulana.

Momwe Mungapezere Mtima Wosweka Pamene Mukumukondabe - Njira 13

Chibwenzicho chikatha, mumakhumudwa kwambiri. Palibe nthawi yokhazikika yoti zinthu zisinthe. Padzakhala masiku a misozi ndi kugwa, chisoni ndi mkwiyo, kukana, kuipidwa, ndi chisoni chenicheni ndi kutaika. Ngati mukuyesera kutero kuthetsa kutha inu munayambitsa, inunso mudzadziimba mlandu nokha, kuyesera kulingalira pamene inu munalakwitsa.

Prerna anati: “Kusiyana maganizo ndi munthu kumabwera ndi mavuto ambiri chifukwa sikuti timangofunika kusiya kucheza ndi munthu, komanso mbali zina za moyo wathu zimene panopa timayamba kucheza ndi munthuyo.”

Kwa ena, kuyesetsa kuti awononge ubale wawo kungakhale kothandiza.” Mulimonsemo, kulankhula ndi mbali ya ife yomwe ikugwirizana ndi munthu winayo, cholinga chake ndi chiyani, komanso momwe chikutithandizira pakalipano, ndizomwe zimathandiza pamapeto pake.

"Mwachitsanzo, ngati chibwenzicho ndi chifukwa chakuti onse awiri akhala pamodzi kwa nthawi yaitali ndipo ndi chizolowezi chomwe chimakhala chovuta kuchisiya, ndiye kuti pitirizani pang'onopang'ono. kupanga zikumbukiro zatsopano ndi zizolowezi zingathandize, kotero kuti tibweretse mayanjano ndi kudzikonda kwathu kuchokera kwa wokondedwayo. "

Momwe mungathetsere mtima wosweka pomwe mumamukonda, Shazia "Kuthetsa kusweka mtima kumatanthauza kumvetsetsa kuti kutengeka maganizo sikumakhala kokhazikika - kumasinthasintha malingana ndi zinthu zina zakunja ndi zachilengedwe. Tikazindikira, kuzindikira, kuzikonza, ndi kuziwongolera m'njira yabwino, zinthu zimayamba kugwera m'malo mwake."

Kuthetsa chikondi cha moyo wanu ndi njira yowawa komanso yayitali, koma sizingatheke. Nazi njira 13 zokuthandizani kupirira ndikusiya ubale mukamawakonda.

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Kuchilitsa Mtima Pothetsa Chibwenzi Pamene Muli M'chikondi

"Ndinasiyana ndi chibwenzi changa, koma ndimamukondabe, ndisiya bwanji?" Zimenezo zinali zovuta kwambiri kwa ine popeza maganizo anali adakali amphamvu kwambiri. N’chifukwa chiyani sankaona kuti ndimamukondabe ndipo tingathe kuthetsa nkhani zimene zinkatidetsa nkhawa? Koma ndinayenera kulimbana ndi mfundo yakuti iye analibenso chidwi. Ndikofunikira kuchita chilichonse chomwe chingakuthandizeni kuthana ndi kusweka mtima, makamaka mukakhala kusuntha popanda kutseka.

A Reddit wosuta anagwira ndendende zomwe ndimamva. M’mawu ake, “Ndinachita mantha kwambiri.

Choncho tiyeni tione zimene tingachite ngati chibwenzi chanu chatha, ndipo mumamukondabe.

1. Khalani ndi nthawi yodzigudubuza, simungathe 'kuchotsa' mtima wosweka

Ndikofunikira kutenga nthawi kuti mupitilize kuchita zachisoni. Wallow. Konzani pizza ya tchizi ndi zokometsera zonse kapena keke yonse ndikuwonera TV yopanda nzeru. Pamene mukulimbana ndi kusweka mtima, mukuyenera kukhala oganiza bwino ndikuvomereza zimenezo ubale watha panthawi ina.

“Njira yabwino koposa ya kupirira ikakhala kusakaniza malingaliro anu,” akutero Prerna, “Lirani pamene mufuna, fotokozerani okondedwa anu zakukhosi kwanu pamene mufuna, ndi kudzipatulira nthaŵi ya chisoni chimene chinali chofunika kwambiri kwa inu, mofanana ndi mmene munadzipezera nthaŵi yokondana poyamba.”

2. Dziwani kuti palibe vuto kuwakonda koma patali

Yankho la momwe mungadutse mtima wosweka mukadali kumukonda sikuyenera lekani kumukonda. Ziribe kanthu momwe mungamenyere kapena kutsimikizira kuti mwamugonjetsa, pali mwayi waukulu kuti chikondicho chidzakhalabe. Izi ndi zoona makamaka ngati munali pachibwenzi kwa nthawi yaitali.

Tangoganizani, zili bwino. Kusiya munthu yemwe umamukondabe ndizomwe zimamveka. Mukusiya ubale, chikondi, ndi zonse zomwe zidabwera nazo, kupatula chikondi. Prerna anachenjeza kuti: “Kuchoka pa chibwenzi n’kovuta, ndipo zimakuvutani ngati simunagwire ntchitoyo ndipo mwangotsekereza maganizo anu n’cholinga choti musamve kuwawa chifukwa cha kutha kwa chibwenzi chanu.

"Ngati mukukumana ndi munthu yemwe mumamuwona tsiku ndi tsiku, zimakhala zovuta kwambiri." Koma yesani kudziwa zomwe mungachite kuti mumve maganizo anu pamene mukukhala kutali.

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3. Pangani mtendere ndi zakale

Kusiya zakale ndi yankho labwino kwambiri lazomwe mungachite ngati bwenzi lanu latha ndipo mumamukondabe. Pokhapokha mutapanga mtendere ndi zakale, simungathe kupitirizabe mutatha kutha. Kusudzulana kukakhala kwatsopano, malingaliro onse a ubale wanu wakale adzayambitsa malingaliro olakwika kwambiri.  

Prerna anati: “Njira zimene aliyense angachite kuti athane ndi vutoli n’zosiyana, ndipo kungonena zochepa chabe n’kupanda chilungamo.” Ena angayese kupemphera kuti athetse vuto la kusweka mtima, ena angafune kuti lithe.” Ena angakhale ndi njira zabwino zothanirana ndi chisoni chawo chokhudzana ndi kusweka mtima.

Kumvetsetsa kuti chifukwa chinatha, sizikutanthauza kuti sichinali chofunika pamene chinalipo. Kukhala ndi chithandizo monga wachibale ndi mabwenzi apamtima n'kothandiza, chifukwa kumapereka njira yopezera malingaliro.

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4. Osathamangira kupita patsogolo

Kodi wina anati "kubwerera"? Mvetserani, palibe cholakwika ndi kukopana ndi kugonana ngati mukuganiza kuti zingakuthandizeni kuchoka ku zowawa zamtima. Zoyenera kuchita ngati chibwenzi chako chatha ndipo iwe ukumukondabe, sikuyenera kuthamangira kupita ku chibwenzi. mgwirizano wobwerera. Upangiri wofunikira paubwenzi umati, zosavuta zimatero.

Zimatenga nthawi yayitali bwanji kuti mutenge munthu amene mumamukondadi? Ndizovuta kuchiza mtima wosweka, ndi sayansi kumbuyoko akutiuza kuti zingatenge miyezi 18 kuti tipitirize. Koma ndondomeko ya nthawiyo imadalira kutalika kapena kuya kwa ubale wanu ndi momwe mumachitira kuthetsa.

Choncho, m'malo moyesera kusokoneza njira yanu kupyolera muchisoni ndi chiyanjano, yesetsani kuyesetsa kuti mukhale bwino poyamba. A Reddit wosuta amachenjeza za kugonana kobwerezabwereza ndi bwenzi lake lakale, ndipo akuti, "Zotsatira zake zidzakupangitsani kukhala wodedwa kwambiri komanso wodedwa. Zidzasokoneza malingaliro anu."    

5. Kumbukirani, mudzakondanso 

Ndikudziwa kuti sindikufuna kuchoka kwa wakale wanga chifukwa ndikugwirabe zomwe tinali nazo. Ndikumva ngati mtima wanga sudzachira. Koma, khulupirirani izo kapena ayi, zidzatero. Kutsegulira nokha ku chikondi chatsopano mwina ndi gawo lowopsa la machiritso, koma ndichimodzi mwazinthu zofunika kwambiri. 

“Chikondi chimakupangitsani kukhala munthu wabwinopo,” akulangiza motero Shazia, “Ngati zinthu sizinayende bwino pakati pa anthu aŵiri, sizikutanthauza kuti sangathe kupita patsogolo ndi kukhala wosangalala ndi munthu wina.” Kukhala wozindikira maganizo ndi kuwongolera malingaliro anu m’njira yoyenera kudzathandiza mu Kugonjetsa kusweka mtima. Kumbukirani, machiritso onse amayamba ndi inu nokha. "

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Kupitilira Mutatha Kusweka Ndi Chikondi Cha Moyo Wanu

Kuthetsa chikondi cha moyo wanu kungamve ngati dziko likupita kumapeto. Zimakhala zovuta kuwona zinthu zabwino zomwe zikuzungulirani. Mudzamva kupweteka m’maganizo pamene mukupita m’njira yachisoni imene imadza ndi mapeto a unansi wachikondi. Mudzakhalanso mukudabwa, zimatenga nthawi yayitali bwanji kuti mutenge munthu amene mumamukondadi? M'malo mongokhalira kunyengerera, pezani njira zabwino zothanirana nazo.  

6. Kuti mupitirize kusweka mtima, muyenera kusiya kukhudzana

Ili ndiye gawo lalifupi, losavuta, ndipo mwina lopweteka kwambiri pakutha mukakhalabe m'chikondi. Muyenera kutsatira lamulo losalumikizana. Izi zikutanthawuza kuti palibe malemba oti "kukusowa", palibe mafoni oledzera, komanso osayendetsa galimoto kudutsa nyumba yawo. Ngati mungathe, zimitsani malo anu ochezera a pa Intaneti.

Mwina mukulimbana ndi lingaliro lakuti, “Sindikufuna kuchoka kwa wakale wanga.” Ndicho chifukwa chake mungafunike chithandizo chochulukirapo. Choncho, funsani anzanu kapena achibale anu kuti alowe nawo ngati mungathe. Mufunika wina kuti atenge foni yanu ndi makiyi agalimoto mukatsimikiza kutumiza "mawu ochezeka" kapena "ingotengani galimoto kuti muwone ngati ali kunyumba". 

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7. Kuphunzira china chatsopano kudzakuthandizani kuthetsa kusweka mtima

Munagawana zokonda kapena zokonda zambiri ndi mnzanu wakale. Tsopano, salinso m'moyo wanu, ndipo mumamva kuti mulibe kanthu. Osamira mukusowa kwakumverera kupsinjika maganizo pambuyo pa kutha kwa banja. Pezani chilakolako chatsopano ndikumiza mano anu mmenemo!

Chimene chinandithandiza pamene ndinali kupwetekedwa mtima chinali kuchita zinthu zimene ndinkafuna kuchita. Choncho, ndinalembetsa maphunziro a kukongola. Komanso Loweruka ndi Lamlungu ndinkakhala wotanganidwa kwambiri polowa nawo kalabu yopita kukayenda. Kenako ndinafunsira ntchito ina ndipo ndinakhala ndi nthawi yabwino ndi anzanga apamtima. Kumapeto kwa tsikulo, ndinali wotopa kwambiri moti sindingathe kusinkhasinkha za mtima wanga wosweka.

8. Chotsani kukumbukira

Simungagonjetse kusweka mtima kuchokera kwa munthu yemwe mumamukonda ngati mumasungabe zinthu zaubwenzi wakale. Yakwana nthawi yochotsa kukhalapo kwake m'moyo wanu. Ndinachita zotsatirazi.

• Anataya mswachi wake
• Ndinamubwezera zomwe ndikanatha
• Anapereka zovala zake zakale zomwe ndimadziwa kuti sangafune kubwerera
• Ndasiya kuchotsa zikumbutso zilizonse za mnzanga wakale wachikondi

Kumbukirani, kuyeretsa thupi ndi kuchotsa zikumbukiro zidzakuthandizaninso kuyeretsa maganizo anu.

9. Yang'anani za m'tsogolo

Gonjetsani kusweka mtima kwa munthu amene mumamukonda poyang'ana zam'tsogolo. Kutha mukakhalabe m'chikondi koma m'njira zosiyanasiyana kumakupatsani mwayi wofufuza tsogolo lanu ngati wothandizira nokha. Ngati inu muli kumverera wopanda kanthu pambuyo pa kutha kwa banja, tsogolo lingaoneke ngati loipa. Koma mukudziwa kuti amenewo ndi malingaliro osakhalitsa chifukwa mawa dzuwa lidzatuluka. Lembani mndandanda wa zochita tsiku lililonse ngati zingathandize. Idzatero:

• Ndikupatseni chizolowezi
• Khalani otanganidwa
• Kukupatsani lingaliro la cholinga cha nthawi yamtsogolo.

Gwiritsani ntchito mapemphero ena kuti muthetse mtima wosweka ngati izi zikuthandizani. Onetsetsani kuti musalole kuvutika maganizo ndi chisoni kuwononga akubwera mwayi watsopano moyo akhoza kutaya njira yanu. Pali tsogolo lomwe likukuyembekezerani, muyenera kungoyenda pang'onopang'ono.

Kudzisamalira - Njira Yabwino Kwambiri Yothetsera Chisoni

Kuvutika maganizo n’kwachibadwa mukathetsa chibwenzi mudakali m’chikondi. Komabe, kudzikonda ndi njira yabwino kwambiri yothetsera vuto la zomwe mungachite pamene bwenzi lanu lakutayani koma mumamukondabe. Ndi njira yabwinonso yochotsera mtima wosweka. M'masabata angapo otsatira, kutsatira zizolowezi zabwino kapena moyo watsopano ndi njira yabwino kwambiri yothetsera kusweka mtima. Idyani zathanzi, yesetsani kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi kwambiri, ndipo muzipuma mokwanira.

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10. Dziwonetseni nokha chikondi 

Kudziwonetsa nokha chikondi kumakupatsani mwayi wosiya kuganizira za mnzanu wakale ndikudziganizira nokha. Landirani zomwe mumakonda, kaya ndi ntchito, kucheza ndi achibale kapena anzanu, kapena kupeza nthawi yopuma nokha. Pali zinthu zambiri zomwe zingakuthandizeni kudzaza zomwe mungachite ngati chibwenzi chanu chakutayani koma mumamukondabe. Mutha:

• Pezani zosintha ngati njira yodzisamalira
• Pitani kukagula zina zamalonda
• Konzaninso nyumba yanu
• Dzigulireni maluwa ngati njira yodzikonda
• Valani, ndikupita ku malo odyera abwino ndi odyera, ndi zina zotero 

Kudzimvera chisoni sikukupatsani nthawi yoganizira za mnzanu wakale. M'kanthawi kochepa, mudzachotsa bwino mtima wosweka. Ndipo monga kamwana kakang’ono panjira yodzipezera yekha, kupita patsogolo sikudzakhalanso kovutirapo.

11. Ganizirani momwe mungasinthire

Kodi munachitapo kanthu kuti banja lithe? Osadzimenya nokha pa izi, monga momwe aliyense amapangira zolakwika m'chikondi. Komanso, komwe muli m'moyo ndizofunikira. Mwinamwake ntchito yanu inali kuyamba, ndipo iye analephera kupirira. Kusudzulana mukadali mchikondi koma m'njira zosiyanasiyana kumakupatsani mwayi wokula ndikukula. Osayang'ana zomwe zidalakwika. M'malo mwake, ganizirani zomwe mungachite bwino muubwenzi wanu watsopano wamtsogolo.

Prerna akufotokoza kuti: “Dziyeseni nokha ndi kumvetsa chifukwa chimene munachitira zimene munachita, kumene zinachokera, ndi chimene chinakulimbikitsani.” Ngati pamapeto a tsiku, mnzanuyo anaganiza zochoka, ndi chifukwa chakuti iwo anasunga malire awo, ndipo palibe cholakwika ndi zimenezo.

"Ndi bwino kukumbukira kuti mumadziwa chifukwa chake munachitira zomwe munachita komanso momwe mungadziletse kuti musadzachite zimenezo m'tsogolomu." Komabe, izi sizikutanthauza kuti simunafune kukhumudwitsa mnzanuyo, koma munatero, ndipo iwo anakuimbani mlandu. Zimenezo ziyenera kulemekezedwa.

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12. Tsatirani dongosolo lanu lothandizira

Dongosolo lanu lothandizira ndilofunika kwambiri kuti muchepetse kusweka mtima kuthetsa ubale. Atha kukhala wachibale wanu wapamtima, bwenzi lanu lapamtima/bwenzi lodalirika, kapena magulu okhala ndi anthu omwe akukumana ndi zovuta zomwezi. Gawani nawo zachilungamo chanu ndikuwonetsa kusatetezeka kwanu. Kutha kulankhula ndi kutulutsa mpweya kumapereka njira yabwino kwambiri.  

13. Pezani thandizo la akatswiri

Momwe mungathetsere mtima wosweka mukamamukonda kungafune thandizo la akatswiri. Akatswiriwa ndi othandiza kwambiri ngati mukuvutika kupirira. Ngati mukuyang'ana thandizo, akatswiri aluso komanso odziwa zambiri azaumoyo Bonobology panel zili pano chifukwa cha inu.

Ndasanthula upangiri wothandiza ndi maupangiri otsimikiziridwa aukadaulo amomwe mungathetsere mtima wosweka mukamamukonda. Ndizovuta? Mwamtheradi, popanda kukayika. Chowopsya kwambiri ndi chakuti tsopano muli nokha. Mudzakhala ndi malingaliro olakwika osiyanasiyana mukamadutsa munjira yachisoni. Komabe, ndikofunikira kudzipatsa nthawi, apo ayi, kuchira kumatenga nthawi yayitali kuposa momwe ziyenera kukhalira.

Aliyense ali ndi njira yakeyake yothanirana ndi vutoli. Koma, khalani ndi zizolowezi zabwino, yesetsani kudzikonda, ndikudalira njira yanu yothandizira, yomwe ingaphatikizepo wachibale amene mumamukhulupirira kapena mnzanu wapamtima. Kumbukirani, machiritso kuchokera ku ubale wakale ndi wofunikira kuti musatenge katundu mu ubale wanu wamtsogolo.

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Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.