Zizindikiro 15 Zapamwamba Zachibwenzi Chodziteteza

Kuteteza wokondedwa wanu pachibwenzi ndi chilengedwe. Koma kodi chibwenzi chanu chimakulepheretsani ufulu ndikuwongolera zisankho zanu kuphatikiza zomwe muyenera kuvala ndi zomwe mungatumize pa Instagram, zonse m'dzina lachitetezo? Ngati inde, ndiye kuti muli ndi chibwenzi chodziteteza kwambiri ndipo simuli paubwenzi wabwino.

Kuti timvetse kusiyana pakati pa kudziteteza ndi kudziteteza mopitirira muyeso, makamaka tanthauzo la chibwenzi chodziteteza mopitirira muyeso, tinakambirana ndi mphunzitsi wa thanzi la maganizo ndi kusamala Pooja Priyamvada (wovomerezeka mu Psychological and Mental Health First Aid kuchokera ku Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health ndi University of Sydney). Iye ndi katswiri pa uphungu wa zibwenzi zakunja kwa ukwati, kusudzulana, kupatukana, chisoni ndi kutayika, kungotchulapo zochepa chabe.

Zizindikiro 15 Kuti Muli Ndi Bwenzi Lodziteteza Kwambiri

Mwina mwakhala mukumva kusasangalala ndi chibwenzi chanu koma simukudziwa chifukwa chake. Kapena mwina mwangodandaulanso chifukwa cha uthenga wanu waposachedwa pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti womwe unakondedwa ndi mwamuna mnzanu wantchito. Ngati inde, n'zotheka kuti muli ndi chibwenzi chomwe chimakukondani koma simukumvetsa bwino tanthauzo la chitetezo chopitirira muyeso muubwenzi. Nazi zizindikiro zina zomwe muyenera kuyang'anitsitsa:

1. Kusakhulupirirana

Kodi mwamuna akamakutetezani mopitirira muyeso zikutanthauza chiyani? Pooja akuti, “Amafuna kudziwa za mphindi iliyonse ya tsiku lanu, amayang'anira maakaunti anu a pafoni ndi malo ochezera a pa Intaneti, ndipo amakutsutsani kapena kukayikira anzanu. Amakhulupirira kuti simungathe kupanga zisankho zanu nokha.”

Mwamuna wodziteteza kwambiri akhoza:

• Sungani zinthu zanu
• Mvetserani pazokambirana zanu
• Tsatani malo anu a GPS kuti muwone komwe mukupita
• Funsani mosalekeza

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2. Kusowa malo aumwini

Chibwenzi chodziteteza mopitirira muyeso sichimvetsa malo anu kapena kufunika kwa chinsinsi chanu. Sangakuloleni kuchita zinthu nokha, monga kutuluka ndi anzanu kapena kukhala ndi madzulo opumula nokha. Kumanga ubale ndi mwamuna amene salemekeza malire anu ndi vuto ndipo sikoyenera kuyesetsa.

3. Kusatetezeka ndi nsanje

Pooja ananena kuti, “Si bwino kufunafuna chisamaliro cha mnzanuyo n’kumachitira nsanje kapena kumuchitira nsanje nthawi zina.

Pali nsanje mwa aliyense. Tonsefe takhala tikumva kupweteka m'mimba mwathu pamene munthu amene timamukonda akuoneka kuti akumvetsera wina. Koma kenako kuganiza bwino ndi kudalira okondedwa athu kumalowa m'malo mwake ndipo timazindikira kuti tikupitirira muyeso. Chifukwa chake, ngati chibwenzi chanu chikukutsutsani kuti mukukopana ndi mwamuna aliyense amene mumalankhula naye, muli ndi vuto. Ichi ndi chizindikiro chodziwikiratu kuti nthawi zonse amadzimva kuti ndi wosatetezeka ndi amuna omwe mumacheza nawo.

Kusatetezeka koteroko nthawi zambiri kumapangitsa kuti pakhale maubwenzi ankhanza. Choncho, pokhapokha ngati zili pamlingo woti kulankhulana momveka bwino kungathetsere chilichonse, muyenera kupewa anthu oterowo zivute zitani.

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4. Sakonda kudziyimira pawokha

Ngati chibwenzi chanu chikuoneka kuti chikukuvutani kuchita chilichonse popanda iye, nthawi zambiri chimakhala chifukwa chakuti akufuna kuti moyo wanu uzizungulira wake. Mwamuna akanena kuti ndinu wake, mungaganize kuti ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za chibwenzi choteteza, cha munthu amene amasamala mokwanira kuti nthawi zonse azikufunani kukhala pafupi nanu. Zoona zake n'zakuti mwina akuda nkhawa kwambiri ndi kukhala wofunika pa moyo wanu ndipo sangathe kuchita chibwenzi ndi mkazi wodziimira payekha . Ngati izi zipitirira kuchitika, muyenera kukhazikitsa malire omveka bwino m'malo mosiya zosangalatsa zanu zonse komanso mabwenzi anu kuti mungomusangalatsa.

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5. Kukhala ndi zinthu

Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za chibwenzi choteteza ndichakuti chimakuchitirani ngati mnzanu wofanana ndipo chimakulemekezani ngati munthu. Komabe, chibwenzi choteteza mopitirira muyeso chimakuonani ngati chuma chake, ndipo chimanena kuti ndinu wake komanso wake. Poyamba zingamveke ngati zachikondi koma samalani zinthu zikayamba kusokonekera ndipo amakhala mwamuna wokonda kwambiri . Pali kusiyana pakati pa kukhala wokonda kwambiri ndi kukhala woopsa. Ngati sakuwoneka kuti akudziwa kusiyana ndipo nthawi zambiri amakuwonetsani 'chikondi' chake poyesa kukutetezani kwa anzanu achimuna ndi ogwira nawo ntchito, nthawi ingakhale nthawi yokambirana mozama.

6. Ufulu

Ngati mutayamba kukhulupirira kuti, “Mnyamata wanga amanditeteza kwambiri” pamene akuona kuti ndi woyenera kwa inu, mungakhale olondola. Pooja akuti, “Akakupangirani zisankho n’kumaganiza kuti akudziwa bwino kuposa inu zimene zinakuchitikirani, zimachokeradi chifukwa chakuti iwo ali ndi ufulu wodziteteza komanso wodziteteza, zomwe sizili zolondola.”

Ngati bwenzi lanu likuyembekezera kuti nthawi zonse muzilankhulana naye, mungafune kuganiziranso za ubale wanu. Nkhani za zibwenzi zoteteza mopambanitsa zimatiuza kuti amuna ngati awa amamva kuti ali ndi ufulu mphindi iliyonse ndi gawo la moyo wanu. Ndipo ngati muyesa kuteteza malo anu enieni, milandu idzakugwerani ngati matalala. Amuna omwe amazolowera malingaliro awo oyenerera amatha kukhala ankhanza kwambiri ngati mutayesa kukonza machitidwe awo.

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7. Kudziimba mlandu

Kudzimva kukhala ndi mlandu ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zobisika zakuti amateteza kwambiri pachibwenzi. Ngati mupita kukacheza ndi anzanu ndikusangalala, chibwenzi chanu chodziteteza kwambiri chingakuchititseni kudzimva kuti ndinu ndi mlandu chifukwa chosagwiritsa ntchito nthawi imeneyo naye. Mudzadzimva kuti ndinu ndi mlandu chifukwa chongofuna kukhala tsiku lanu momwe mukufunira. Ngakhale kuti n'kovuta kuzindikira, ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zodziwika bwino za mnzanu wodziteteza kwambiri.

Pooja akuti, " Kudzimva wolakwa muubwenzi sikwabwino konse. Anthu samangokhala paubwenzi wawo wachikondi wokha. Ayeneranso kukhala ndi maubwenzi ena ofunika. Mnzanu akakukwiyirani mukamakhala ndi anzanu, amakhala wosatetezeka kwambiri."

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8. Kulamulira mopambanitsa

Mwachibadwa amuna amakonda kukhala pachibwenzi. Koma ena amachita zinthu mopitirira muyeso ndipo amakhala ngati munthu wodzilamulira . Khalidweli lingawonekere m'njira zosafunikira monga kukusankhirani chakudya chamadzulo nthawi zonse. Koma kenako, likhoza kukhala loipa kwambiri, monga pamene mwamuna akunena kuti ndinu ake kapena akuyamba kukuuzani ntchito zomwe mungasankhe komanso amene mumakhala naye. Poyamba, mumadabwa kuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani amanditeteza kwambiri?” koma mukazolowera, zidzakhala zovuta kwambiri kuti mubwezeretse ufulu wanu.

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Zikatero, Pooja akulangiza kuti: “Lankhulani ndi bwenzi lanu lachinyamata akamakulamulirani mopambanitsa.

9. Iye ndi woletsa;

Ngati mnzanu wansanje komanso wolamulira ayamba kukulepheretsani kuyenda, ndi chizindikiro chodziwikiratu kuti akudziteteza mopitirira muyeso. Cafe yomwe mumakonda kupitako idzakhala yoletsedwa mwadzidzidzi chifukwa mudamwetulira woperekera zakudya. Kapena usiku wa mtsikana wanu udzathetsedwa chibwenzi chanu chodziteteza mopitirira muyeso chitakukwiyitsani chifukwa chotuluka popanda iye.

Yesetsani kuthana ndi zizolowezi zotere chifukwa, mukamulola, chibwenzi chodzitchinjiriza chimapitilirabe mpaka atakutsekerezani popanda malo opumira. Palibe chomwe chimapha ubale wachikondi mwachangu kuposa kumverera kwa chibwenzi chowongolera.

10. Amayesa kukuletsani kuvala zomwe mumakonda

Amuna ena amakonda kutengeka ndi zovala zomwe mumavala. Sangamvetse kuti zovala zomwe mumavala, kuchuluka kwa zodzoladzola zomwe mumavala zili ndi inu. Adzakunyozani ndi kukuvutitsani chifukwa chovala chilichonse chomwe sichimaphimba khungu laling'ono lililonse. Mungadzifunse kuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani chibwenzi changa chimanditeteza mopambanitsa?” Zizolowezi zimenezi zimabwera chifukwa chodziona kuti ndiwe wosatetezeka komanso wodziona kuti ndiwe wolakwika ndipo ukhoza kukhala wovulaza kwambiri pakapita nthawi.

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11. Mavuto ndi malo anu ochezera a pa Intaneti

Kodi anyamata odziteteza kwambiri amakutsata pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti ndipo amanena kuti chilichonse monga kukonda kapena ndemanga yosavuta chingathetse mkangano. Ndipo tsoka ndi chiyani ngati mungayese kuseka nthabwala za mnyamata wina? Zikumveka ngati mukudziwa kale? Ndiye nthawi yoti mubwererenso ku moyo wanu wosakwatiwa.

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12. Mwamakani

Khalidwe limodzi lodziwika bwino mwa anyamata onse odziteteza mopitirira muyeso ndi momwe amasinthira ngati simukuchita zomwe akufuna. Amakhala aukali kwambiri. Ndipo khalidwe lawo lozunza limatha kukula mofulumira kukhala chiwawa. Zizolowezi zimenezi nthawi zambiri zimayamba pang'onopang'ono ndipo zimakula pakapita nthawi pamene ukali wawo wochulukirapo sunathetsedwe. Ndipo izi zimaonedwa ngati chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zazikulu kwambiri zaubwenzi.

Chifukwa chiyani chibwenzi changa chimanditeteza komanso mwankhanza, mukufunsa? Pooja anati: “Zifukwa zingakhale zingapo, kuyambira kusakhulupirirana mpaka kusalankhulana m’chibwenzi.” Zochitika m’mbuyomo zingapangitsenso munthu kukhala wokayikira ponena za wokondedwa wake.

Kafukufuku akusonyeza kuti ana omwe amachitiridwa nkhanza m'nyumba zawo ali aang'ono amatha kukhala anthu ankhanza akamakula. Deta ikuyerekeza kuti ana okwana 275 miliyoni padziko lonse lapansi amachitiridwa nkhanza m'nyumba zawo chaka chilichonse.

13. Zofuna nthawi zonse

Ngati chibwenzi chanu chodzitchinjiriza chikukutumizirani mameseji kapena kumakuimbirani foni tsiku lonse mukamakonzekera ndi anthu ena, ndiye kuti sakufuna kuti mumvere wina aliyense koma iye. Zitha kufika poti iye amayesa kukumba nthawi yanu yonse. Ngati mutenga tsiku kwa iye, foni yanu idzadzazidwa ndi mameseji aukali komanso mafoni okwiya.  

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Ndiye, kodi zikutanthauza chiyani mwamuna akamakutetezani mopitirira muyeso ndipo akuchita zinthu mwanjira imeneyi? Pooja akugogomezera kuti, “Kukutetezani mopitirira muyeso kumasonyeza kuti pali zinthu zina zomwe sizikukukhudzani. Muyenera kumufotokozera zomwe mukumva, yesetsani kumvetsetsa chifukwa chake akuchita zinthu motere, ndipo ngati izi zikuwoneka kuti sizingatheke, onani mlangizi pamodzi.”

Kotero, monga momwe Pooja akunenera, palibe vuto lililonse kumwa mankhwala ochiritsira anthu okwatirana. Ndipotu, ngakhale okwatirana otchuka monga Jennifer Lopez ndi Alex Rodriguez sanachite mantha kulankhula za momwe mankhwala ochiritsira anthu okwatirana awathandizira.

14. Simungayamikire amuna ena

Njira yosavuta yodziwira chibwenzi chodzitchinjiriza ndikuwona momwe amakuchitirani poyamika amuna ena. Iye sangakuimitseni inu kutamanda wina aliyense ndipo nthawi yomweyo amayambitsa nkhani pa izo. Mwinanso angafike pokuuzani kuti ndinu wosakhulupirika. Amuna otere nthawi zonse amafuna kukhala kumapeto kwa kumwetulira kwanu ndi matamando anu ndipo sangavomereze kuti mukumvera wina aliyense ngakhale kwakanthawi. Zikhoza kufika poti ngakhale kumwetulira kwaubwenzi kwa mlendo kungayambitse kusadzidalira kwake ndi kumkwiyitsa.

Mungadzifunse mobwerezabwereza kuti, “Chibwenzi changa chimateteza kwambiri komanso sichidzidalira. Ndichite chiyani?” Pazochitika zotere, muyenera kudziteteza nokha. “Kambiranani malire ofunikira pamene kuli mikangano ya mphamvu pamene palibe mphamvu ndipo munthu mmodzi akuyesera kulamulira wina. Musalole zimenezo kuchitika muubwenzi uliwonse,” akutero Pooja.

15. Kuyatsa gasi ndi kusintha

Tanthauzo lodziteteza kwambiri muubwenzi limaphatikizapo kunyengerera ndi kunyoza. Amuna onyenga amakuchepetsa kudzidalira kwanu kwa masiku, milungu ndi zaka, mpaka mutakhala mthunzi wa umunthu wanu wakale. N'zosavuta kuti akulamulireni ngati angakulepheretseni kusankha kwanu ndikukupangitsani kukayikira nokha. Adzasokoneza thanzi lanu la maganizo dala, adzakuzunzani m'maganizo, ndikugwiritsa ntchito mawu onyoza nthawi iliyonse kuti akupangitseni kukhala omasuka.

Anthu odzitukumula otere amapitilirabe mpaka mutaya mwayi wodziyimira pawokha. Khalidwe lotere silikhala mbendera yofiira. Ndi chizindikiro choyima cha kukula kwa chikwangwani.

"Ndi bwino kudzimva kuti ndife otetezeka kwa okondedwa athu, koma kudzimva "otetezedwa mopitirira muyeso" mpaka kuletsa munthu wina kulibe thanzi. Kuteteza kungatanthauze kuonetsetsa kuti wokondedwa ali wotetezeka ndi mlingo wawo wa chitonthozo ndi chilolezo, kulamulira kungatanthauze kupitirira chilolezo chawo ponena za chitetezo ndi / kapena chitetezo," Pooja akumaliza. 

Kodi Kukhala Odziteteza Ndi Chizindikiro Chachikondi?

Inde, kukhala woteteza muubwenzi mpaka pamlingo winawake kungakhale chizindikiro cha chikondi . Koma muyenera kudziwa kusiyana pakati pa chikondi ndi poizoni. Mosiyana ndi mnzanu woteteza mopitirira muyeso, mnzanu woteteza sayesa kulamulira zisankho zanu kapena kukupatulani kwa ena. Nazi zizindikiro zina za chitetezo chathanzi mwa mnzanu malinga ndi Pooja:

• Kulemekeza malire anu
• Kupereka chithandizo kuti mukwaniritse zolinga zanu
• Kuyimirira pamaso pa anthu ena pakafunika kutero
• Imayika zofunika zanu patsogolo
• Kupeza maziko apakati pakakhala kusiyana kwa zokonda kapena malingaliro, m'malo mokakamiza kusankha kwawo
• Kuyesetsa kumanga chikhulupiriro ndikukhala malo anu otetezeka

Mukawona wokondedwa wanu akuteteza m'njira izi, ndiye inde, zikhoza kukhala chizindikiro cha chikondi.

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Momwe Mungalimbanire Ndi Chibwenzi Chodziteteza Kwambiri

Chibwenzi chodziteteza mopitirira muyeso chingakupangitseni kumva ngati mukuvutika maganizo komanso mukuvutika maganizo, ndipo khalidweli silingapitirire ubale wanu wautali . Komabe, mnzanu wokonda kulamulira nthawi zonse sadziwa zotsatirapo zoyipa za zochita zake ndipo alibe cholinga chokuvulazani. Koma sizikutanthauza kuti muyenera kupirira khalidwe loipali. Nazi zinthu zomwe mungachite kuti muchepetse khalidwe lodziteteza mopitirira muyeso la mnzanu:

1. Kulankhulana momasuka

Kunyalanyaza zizindikiro zodzitetezera mopambanitsa kapena kuyembekezera kuti zinthu zisinthe paokha ndi njira yobweretsera tsoka. Posapita nthaŵi, mudzazindikira kuti simungathenso kupirira ndipo ubwenziwo ungakhale wosatheka kuthetsedwa pofika nthaŵiyo. Kuti mupewe izi, kambiranani mwatsatanetsatane mutangoyamba kuona khalidwe lotere.

Pooja akuti: “Kambiranani ndi mnzanuyo chimene chikuchititsa kusadzisungika ndi nsanje kumeneku. Mwinamwake anali ndi unansi woipa m’mbuyomo kapena chifukwa cha kupwetekedwa mtima paubwana.Zifukwa zambiri zingayambitse kulamulira khalidwe mwa munthu.

2. Khalani ndi malire

Mukangomva mnzanuyo ndi kumvetsetsa maganizo ake, ndi nthawi yoti mulankhule nkhawa zanu. Mutsimikizireni kuti mudzagwira ntchito limodzi kuti muthetse mavuto awo koma nthawi yomweyo, muonetsetse kuti mukuyenera kulemekezedwa muubwenzi ndipo simudzasiya.

Khazikitsani malire ndikuwonetsa momveka bwino kuti izi sizingakambirane mosasamala kanthu za zochitika. Mukhozanso kuwathandiza kudziwa njira zina zothanirana ndi vutoli kuti musamachite zinthu zoopsa kapena zachipongwe.

3. Onetsani chikondi chanu pafupipafupi

Nthawi zina, kusatetezeka kungabwere ngati mnzanu sakumva kukondedwa mokwanira. Ngati vuto likuwoneka kuti ndilo vuto, phatikizanipo zosonyeza chikondi nthaŵi zonse m’moyo wanu watsiku ndi tsiku. Sikuti nthawi zonse zimatengera tsiku labwino kapena mphatso yamtengo wapatali kuti muwakumbutse za chikondi chanu. Nazi zina zazing'ono zomwe mungachite kuti musonyeze chikondi:

• Mameseji/foni masana kuwauza kuti ali m'maganizo mwanu
• Ikani mawu okoma nthawi ndi nthawi monga "Sindikuyembekezera kukumana nanu!"
• Nenani kuti ndimakukondani kawirikawiri
• Perekani mphatso zazing'ono ngati zizindikiro za chikondi

4. Ngati n'koyenera, kuyimitsa

Kumbukirani, mutha kuthandiza mnzanu ngati akuyesera kusintha, koma palibe chomwe mungachite ngati sakufuna kusintha. Ngati zili choncho, siyani kuwononga nthawi yanu ndipo ingopatukanani kuti mudzipulumutse ku mavuto ena.

Maganizo Final

Ngati munayamba mwadzifunsapo kuti, "N'chifukwa chiyani amanditeteza kwambiri?" Zili choncho chifukwa chitetezo komanso nsanje pang'ono ndi chilengedwe mu maubwenzi. Koma pamene mopitirira muyeso, umakhala khalidwe poizoni. Chibwenzi choteteza kwambiri chimayang'anira zisankho zanu, kukupatulani kwa anzanu, kumasokoneza zinsinsi zanu ndikukunyengererani kuti mukhalebe muubwenzi wovutawu. Mutha kugwiritsa ntchito kulumikizana ndi malire olimba kuti muthane ndi bwenzi lodziteteza kwambiri koma ngati zinthu sizikuyenda bwino, chokani kuti musunge malingaliro anu.

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.