15 Malire Ovuta M'maukwati Akatswiri Amalumbirira

"Mkazi wanga akuganiza kuti sindilemekeza malire ake. Osachepera ndicho chimene analemba mu dayale yake!" Izi zitha kuoneka ngati nthabwala koma mwatsoka, si nthabwala chabe. Ndi chitsanzo cha momwe okwatirana ambiri amanyozera malire kapena sadziwa nkomwe za kukhazikitsa malire muukwati. Kwa ambiri a ife, ukwati ndi wokhudza kulowerera m'malo mwa wina ndi mnzake nthawi iliyonse ndikuseka lingaliro la 'malo aumwini' akakwatirana. Kafukufuku akusonyeza kuti akatswiri azaumoyo m'banja amagwiritsa ntchito lingaliro la 'malire' muubwenzi ngati chida chothandiza kudziwa yemwe ali ndi udindo pa chiyani ndikupatsa munthu udindo pa makhalidwe, malingaliro, malingaliro, ntchito, ndi zina zotero.

Pofuna kuwunikira bwino momwe malire angadziwire ngati okwatirana angakhale ndi ubale wabwino kapena ayi, mphunzitsi wolankhulana Swaty Prakash (PG Diploma in Counseling and Family Therapy), yemwenso ndi katswiri pa nkhani zokhudzana ndi maubwenzi a okwatirana, amalemba za malire muukwati ndi malire 15 ofunikira omwe akatswiri padziko lonse lapansi amalimbikitsa.

Kodi Malire N'chiyani?

Mawu ochepa omwe ulendo waukwati umayamba nawo ndi - kosatha, awiri amakhala amodzi, soulmates, ndi zina zotero. Koma 'kwanthawizonse' sikuti 'nthawi zonse' kapena '24X7' kapena 'pamodzi mu chilichonse'. Mawu okongola koma ovuta kwambiri awa nthawi zambiri amaganiziridwa molakwika ngati mawu ofanana ndi owopsa. Chotsatira chake n’chakuti, okwatiranawo amayamba ‘mwachimwemwe mpaka kalekale’ n’kumayembekezera kukhala pamodzi, popanda mpata pakati.

Zochita zosatheka, zokhumba zotere zimadzetsa kupsinjika ndi kukangana. Ichi ndichifukwa chake, kumvetsetsa malire ndikukhazikitsa sikuchitika pakati pa ndewu, koma kale kwambiri kuti ndewuyo isachitike konse.

Ndiye, kodi malire abwino amaoneka bwanji? Malire aumwini ndi awa:

• Chishango chachitetezo chongoyerekeza chomwe chimakuzungulirani chomwe chimakupangitsani kukhala olumikizana ndi okondedwa anu ndikuwonetsetsa kuti mumachepetsa malingaliro anu ndi mphamvu zanu pochita ndi ena.
• Zothandiza popereka zisankho zakuchita, kuchita, ndi kuyankha m'malo mokulemetsa inu ndi ena ndi ziyembekezo mopambanitsa.
• Monga mapu a zisankho zanu, zokhumba zanu, zosowa zanu, ndi zokhumba zanu ndipo ngati onse awiri akhazikitsa malire kuti awone wina ndi mnzake, amasiya malingaliro ndikubwera monga momwe alili.

Malire ogwira mtima:

• Zomveka bwino komanso zololera
• Samalirani zosowa zanu komanso za mnzanu
• Khazikitsani ziyembekezo zomveka bwino mu ubale
• Thandizani maanja kukhala kutali ndi masewera olakwa
• Osakupangani kukhala odzikonda kapena olamulira

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N'chifukwa Chiyani Malire Ali Ofunika M'maukwati?

Anthu awiri akayamba kukondana, amakhala ngati akhungu ndipo amakonderana. Zolakwika ndi kusiyana zimabwerera m'mbuyo ndipo chilichonse chimawoneka bwino. Koma zinthu zimasintha nthawi yoyamba ya ukwati ikadutsa ndipo a) umunthu wawo weniweni umagwirizana, b) kapena m'modzi mwa iwo agwirizana mokwiya, c) kapena amadzipatula.

Malire athanzi m'banja amatanthauza kudziwitsa mnzanuyo zosowa zanu komanso kuti ndinu munthu wotani. Ichi ndi chifukwa chake muyenera kupanga malire ndi mnzanu:

• Malire amathandiza ogwirizana kufotokozera umwini ndi maudindo
• Malire amachotsa bwalo loyipa la kusunthitsa mlandu
• Malire amatsimikizira ulemu waumwini, ndi wina ndi mzake
• Malire amaonetsetsa kuti onse awiri ali ndi mawu ofanana paubwenzi

Ngakhale palibe yankho la 'saizi imodzi yokwanira zonse' pankhani yokhazikitsa malire oyenera m'banja, nazi zina zomwe muyenera kuzikhazikitsa msanga:

• Malire akuthupi
• Malire okhudza kugonana
• Malire amalingaliro
• Malire a banja
• Malire azama media
• Malire azachuma

Nthawi zina pamene okwatirana alibe malire, amamva kupweteka, kusamvetsetsana, kugwiriridwa, kukumana, kunyozedwa, ndi kukanidwa pazochitika zosiyanasiyana. M'mabanja opanda malire, kudandaula koteroko kwa wina ndi mzake kumakhala kofala ndipo nthawi zina kumayambitsa zovuta zazikulu pakapita nthawi. Nazi zitsanzo zingapo za momwe maanja amapezera mavuto wina ndi mzake pamene alibe malire pakati pawo.

• Mungandisiye bwanji Loweruka usiku nkupita kokacheza ndi anzanu? Mukudziwa kuti ndimamva chisoni bwanji mukapita kuphwando
• Kutsuka mbale si ntchito yanga yokha! Ndikudziwa kuti nanunso mwatopa koma sindingathe kuchita ndekha ntchito zapakhomozi. Nthawi zonse ndikakukumbatira, umauma kwambiri. Bwanji osandiuza ngati sukonda kukumbatiridwa kapena kuti sundikondanso?
• Makolo a mwamuna kapena mkazi wanga samandilemekeza nthawi zonse. Chifukwa chiyani sangapite kukakumana nawo yekha?
• Sindimakonda mzako uja. Amayesa kuyandikira kwambiri kwa inu mwakuthupi. Kodi sangakhale kutali?
• Ndiwe wowononga ndalama! Ndine amene ndimavutika ndi kulipira mabilu ndi school fees uku mukusangalala kugula

Mmene Mungakhazikitsire Malire Muukwati

Mukukumbukira masewera osaka chuma omwe tidasewera tili ana, pomwe chumacho chidabisidwa ndi m'modzi ndikuchifuna ndi ena onse? Nthawi zonse wofunayo akapita kutali kwambiri ndi 'chuma', mwana wa msungichumayo amakuwa kuti "kuzizira!" pamene akanakhala pafupi ndi chinthucho, mwanayo amalumpha mwamantha ndi kufuula "kutentha!".

Chabwino, ukwati uli ngati masewerawa. Mumayandikira kwambiri kwa mnzanuyo ndipo kumatentha kwambiri (mwatsoka, osati mwachikondi, mwachikondi) ndipo pamene mukupita kutali, mumazindikira kuti tsopano kwazizira kwambiri.

Ndiye kodi mungatani kuti mutsimikizire kuti kuyanjana kwanu ndi mnzanu sikutentha kwambiri kapena kuzizira kwambiri? Kodi mumakhala bwanji kutali mokwanira kuti mubwerere m'mbuyo? Umu ndi momwe okwatirana angakhazikitsire malire omveka bwino komanso oyenera ndikupeza njira yabwino yotetezera ukwati.

• Akhazikitseni msanga: Khazikitsani malire muubwenzi msanga kuti usakhale wovuta pambuyo pake ndipo, kwenikweni, umathandizira kumanga ubale wabwino womwe umangolimba pakapita nthawi.
• Osapanga izi za inu nokha: Anthu awiri ali paubwenzi choncho ukwati umafunika kuti okwatiranawo azilankhulana zomwe alephera, zosautsa, ndi malire.
• Yang'anani pa mawu akuti 'I': Osachipanga kukhala choneneza kapena njira yodzudzula mnzanuyo. Lankhulani zakukhosi kwanu ndi kuwauza momwe mukumvera osati zomwe amachita/sachita. M'malo monena kuti "Mukachita izi ...", sankhani kunena kuti: "Ndikumva ... pamene ..."

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15 Malire Ovuta M'maukwati Akatswiri Amalumbirira

Tsopano popeza mukudziwa momwe malire alili ofunikira m'banja, apa pali malire 15 ofunikira omwe akatswiri azaukwati ochokera padziko lonse lapansi adalemba kuti mukhale ndi moyo wathanzi m'banja.

1. Lolani kuti zakale zikhale zakale

Alex ndi Sophie anakumana pamalo ochezera a pa Intaneti ndipo amakambirana kwa maola ambiri za zonse zomwe okwatirana atsopano amakambirana. Mantha, kusatetezeka, zozizwitsa, banja, koma pamene Alex anauza Sophie zonse za ubale wake wakale, Cynthia anasankha kuti asaulule zambiri.

Patatha zaka ziwiri, anaganiza zokwatirana koma Alex anali ataumirira kuti adziwe zonse zokhudza kugonana kwake m'mbuyomo ndipo sakanayankha kuti ayi. Kwa Cynthia anali malire omwe ankafuna kuyika zaka ziwiri zapitazo koma sanachite bwino. Iwo sakanakhoza kudutsa kusiyana uku ndi kusweka.

Sitikulimbikitsa kunamiza mnzanu za zakale zanu, koma ndikofunikira kwambiri kukhazikitsa malire pa kuchuluka kwa zomwe mukufuna kukambirana kapena kukambirana za ubale wanu wakale.

Chitsanzo: "Sindikufuna kugawana chilichonse chokhudza zomwe ndakumana nazo kale pankhani yogonana pokhapokha ngati zingakhudze thanzi lanu lakuthupi/logonana."

2. Chinsinsi chanu cha chisangalalo chiyenera kukhala m'thumba mwanu

Ngakhale okondedwa ayenera kuchitirana chimwemwe wina ndi mzake, kuika udindo wanu wonse wokhutira kwa mnzanuyo ndi kupanda chilungamo, kosatheka, ndi njira yabwino yothetsera tsoka. Chifukwa chake tengani zingwe zachisangalalo chanu ndikukhala ndi udindo pamalingaliro anu. Mnzake wosangalala salikulitsa banja ndi ziyembekezo ndi kukwiyira.

Kudzikonda si kudzikonda kapena kudzikonda, m'malo mwake kumawonjezera thanzi la maganizo, kudzidalira, komanso mgwirizano ndi okondedwa. Monga momwe Jeffrey Borenstein , purezidenti wa Brain & Behaviour Research Foundation, akunenera, " Kudzikonda kumatanthauza kulemekeza kwambiri moyo wanu ndi chimwemwe chanu. Kudzikonda kumatanthauza kusamalira zosowa zanu osati kutaya moyo wanu kuti musangalatse ena."

Chitsanzo: “Ndikumvetsa kuti ukundisowa, inenso ndikukusowa. Koma sindingathe kukhala nanu nthawi ndikakhala pakati pa ntchito. Zimakhudza ntchito yanga.

3. Ubwenzi wanu ndi wofunika chimodzimodzi kuti muulimbikitse

Choyambitsa chachikulu cha mikangano pakati pa okwatirana ndicho nsanje kapena kukayikirana. Kutengeka kumeneku kumachokera ku lingaliro lokhazikika lakuti okwatirana sayenera kukhala ndi mabwenzi apamtima kunja kwa ukwati. Ngati inu ndi mnzanu mutha kukhazikitsa malirewa ndikukambirana kufunikira ndi kufunikira kwa nthawi yabwino payekha ndi anzanu, tikhulupirireni, nonse mungakhale pamalo osangalatsa komanso osangalatsa.

Chitsanzo: "Ndikufuna kuti mugwirizane ndi anzanga koma ndikufunanso kucheza nawo ndekha. Ndikukulimbikitsani kuti muchite chimodzimodzi ndi anzanu."

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4. Dziwani momveka bwino za kuchuluka kwa okondedwa anu omwe angakuuzeni za inu

Si aliyense amene amamasuka kukambirana za moyo wawo ndi mabanja kapena abwenzi ndipo okondedwa amabwera ndi njira zosiyanasiyana zolumikizirana . Chifukwa chake ngati ndinu munthu wodziyimira pawokha amene simuyankha foni ndikuuza mnzanu wapamtima kapena banja lanu zonse mwachangu, uzani mnzanuyo izi za inu nokha.

Mabanja ena amakonda kukambirana za moyo wa wina ndi mnzake pamisonkhano iliyonse pomwe ena ambiri amasunga tsatanetsatane. Ngati inu ndi mnzanuyo muli ndi malingaliro osiyana pa izi, ndi bwino kudziikira malire pa kuchuluka ndi zomwe mungakambirane ndi ena.

Chitsanzo: "Sindikumasuka kukambirana za malipiro anga ndi mbiri yanga ya ntchito ndi banja lanu. Chonde sungani zambiri zotere kwa inu nokha ndipo musakambirane nazo."

5. Sankhani kukambirana mwaulemu

Njira zothetsera mikangano zomwe anthu okwatirana amachita zimathandiza kwambiri pakudziwa momwe moyo wawo wa m'banja ulili wabwino komanso wokondana. Okwatirana, omwe amasandutsa ndewu zawo kukhala machesi okwiyirana kapena, nthawi zambiri, ngati mnzawo m'modzi akuwa ndi kutukwana ndipo winayo ameza kunyada kwawo, nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi mkwiyo wambiri, mavuto osathetsedwa, komanso mkwiyo wobisika.

• Kunena zoipa zopweteka kwa wina ndi mzake si gawo lovuta laukwati, kudzisunga nokha ndi kukana chilakolako chofuna kugunda pansi pa lamba, komabe.
• Pali mwambi wakale wakuti n’kosavuta kukhala ndi munthu amene amakulemekezani kusiyana ndi munthu amene amakukondani basi
• Dziwitsani wina ndi mnzake kuti ngakhale nkhani itakhala yoyipa bwanji, ndewu nthawi zonse imakhala yaulemu komanso yopanda malire
• Auzeni zomwe zimakukhumudwitsani (nthawi zina, ngati zilipo) ndi zomwe mukufuna kusintha

Chitsanzo: “Pamene ndinapereka maganizo anga pa phwando, munandinyoza ndipo munati sindikudziwa zomwe ndikunena. Sindikuyamikira kunyozedwa kapena kunyozedwa motere.

6. Malire a kukhulupirika ayenera kukambidwa

Aliyense amafuna ndipo amayembekeza kuti wokondedwa wake akhale woona mtima 100%, koma zenizeni, muyenera kukambirana nawo izi. Ndikofunika kusiyanitsa pakati pa chikondi ndi chinsinsi pazinthu zingapo zofunika. Nawa madera omwe kukhulupirika kwanu kumayenera kufotokozedwa:

• Kukhazikitsa malire a kuchuluka kwa zomwe mukufuna kuwulula zakale zanu
• Kukhazikitsa malire pazomwe mungawulule za mnzanu wina (ngati muli omasuka/mgwirizano wa polyamorous)
• Kukhazikitsa malire a kuchuluka kwa zomwe mukufuna kudziwa zokhudza zokonda za okondedwa wanu / zogonana

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7. Malire a momwe mumalankhulirana wina ndi mzake pamaso pa ena

Awiri ochokera ku Chicago, Arin ndi Steve, akhala m'banja kwa zaka 20. Anatiuza kuti, “Tinaganiza kuti zivute zitani, sitidzanyozana pamaso pa ena. Tidzakhala ndi mnzawo nthawi zonse. Patapita zaka zambiri, tikuganizabe kuti pangano limodzili lathandiza ukwati wathu kuti ukhale wolimba nthawi zambiri.” 'Kusakugwetsani pansi' kumeneku ndi chinsinsi chotsimikizika cha maukwati olimba komanso chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zobiriwira muukwati.

Chitsanzo: "Tingakhale ndi kusiyana kwakukulu. Koma pamaso pa banja lanu kapena langa, sindikambirana za ndewu zathu. Ndikuyembekezera chimodzimodzi kwa inu."

8. Mawu omaliza asakhale ndi malo muubwenzi

Mawu monga akuti “Ndatha nawe” kapena “Ndikufuna chisudzulo” amaopseza maziko enieni a ukwati ndipo ngakhale kuti nthawi zambiri amanenedwa mokwiya, amatha kuwononga maubwenziwo mosatha. Malire amalingaliro otere m'banja ndi malire ena ofunikira kuti mudziteteze ku kuvulala.

Chitsanzo: "Ndikufunika kulamulira malingaliro anga ndikusiya kukambirana kumeneku pakali pano chifukwa sindikufuna kunena chilichonse chopweteka chomwe ndidzanong'oneza nacho bondo mtsogolo."

9. Malamulo a maubale okhudza kukhulupirika ndi kukhulupirirana

Malingana ndi kafukufuku, Kusakhulupirika ndi kudzipereka nkhani ziwiri mwa zifukwa zofala za kutha si chifukwa cha kusakhulupirika koma chifukwa cha matanthauzo osiyanasiyana kusakhulupirika. Kusakhulupirika sikumangotanthauza kuchita chiwerewere kapena kugona ndi munthu wina (ngakhale iyi ndi gawo lalikulu kwambiri komanso lokhazikika), limatanthauzidwa ngati 'kusowa kukhulupirika kapena chithandizo'.

Koma kodi kukhulupirika ndi chiyani ndipo mumatanthauzira bwanji chithandizo? Mawu amenewa amatanthauza zinthu zosiyanasiyana kwa anthu osiyanasiyana. Mabanja, zikhulupiriro, zikhulupiriro zachipembedzo zosiyanasiyana, zimene zinachitikira m’mbuyomo, maphunziro, ndiponso kukumana ndi nkhani zoterezi ndi zina mwa zinthu zimene zimachititsa munthu kuona kukhulupirika ndi kukhulupirika.

Chitsanzo: “Pa maphwando, ndimasangalala kukuonani mukusangalala ndi anzanu. Koma sindimasangalala ndikakuonani mukuvina nawo kwambiri. Ndimamva kuti ndimanyalanyazidwa kotheratu komanso ndili ndekha pazochitika zotere.”

Malire ena omwe muyenera kuwakumbukira kuti mukhale ndi banja labwino ndi awa:

10. Malire ochezera a pa Intaneti m'banja

Anthu nthawi zambiri amanena kuti malo ochezera a pa Intaneti ndi chowonjezera chomwe iwo ali. Komabe, akatswiri ambiri a zamaganizo amakhulupirira kuti malo ochezera a pa Intaneti ndiwowonjezera mbali zomwe sitili kapena sitingathe kukhala. Ichi ndichifukwa chake munthu wachete paphwandoyo angakudabwitseni ndi mawu okweza kwambiri a insta pomwe yemwe akuwotcha malo ovina paphwando lomwelo amagawana mawu ozama komanso akuda kwambiri.

Malo ochezera a pa Intaneti ndi maubwenzi awonanso kusintha kwakukulu. Kuchuluka kwa zomwe mnzanu akufuna kugawana ndi mnzanu wake ndi zomwe akufuna kuchita. Okwatirana ena amati ali okonzeka kuulula ma PIN awo a kirediti kadi koma sadzagawana mawu achinsinsi awo a pa intaneti. Malinga ndi American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers , gawo limodzi mwa magawo atatu a zikalata zosudzulana zili ndi 'Facebook' ngati chifukwa chake. Ngakhale munthu sangaimbe mlandu malo ochezera a pa Intaneti mwachindunji chifukwa cha zochita zotere, pali kulumikizana pakati pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti ndi kusudzulana tsopano.

Ndikofunikira kukhazikitsa malire:

• Nthawi yogwiritsidwa ntchito pazanema
• Kulemekeza zinsinsi za wina ndi mnzake pa social media
• Kugawana mawu achinsinsi kapena akaunti
• Kugawana zambiri pama social media ndi ma taging othandizana nawo

Chitsanzo: “Tidzakhala mabwenzi pa Facebook koma sindikufuna kuti mundiike chizindikiro pazithunzi zathu. Sindikonda kugawana moyo wanga pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti.”

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11. Malire ogonana m’banja

Tangoganizirani za nthawi imene mnzanu ndi inu mukudziwana zomwe mukufuna komanso zovuta zanu ndipo nonse mumachita zomwe zimapangitsa winayo kukhutitsidwa ndi kugonana. Zikumveka ngati maloto? Chabwino, ngati okwatirana angasiye kudziletsa kwawo koyamba ndikukambirana za kugonana ndi malire a kugonana, kugonana sikungakhale chiwonetsero cha munthu mmodzi monga momwe zimakhalira nthawi zambiri.

Kulankhula za zilakolako zakugonana, zomwe sakonda, ndi zongoganiza ndizofunikira kwambiri podziikira malire. Kuti mukhale otetezeka komanso omasuka m'mbali yomwe ili pachiwopsezo chaukwati, malire ogonana ndi ofunikira. Zinthu monga “Ayi, sindine womasuka ndi izi,” “Sindikutsimikiza,” “Kodi tingayeserenso china,” “Kodi tingayesenso zimenezi nthawi ina””—mawu onsewa ayenera kukambidwa, kumvetsetsedwa, ndi kulemekezedwa monga ‘ayi’ momveka bwino.

Chitsanzo: “Ndimakonda masewera achinyengo ndipo mutha kunditcha [X] koma sindikufuna kuti munditchule [Y].”

12. Malire a banja m’banja

Tsopano iyi ndi malo oterera chifukwa ngakhale aliyense amakonda kukamba za makolo, apongozi nthawi zambiri amakhala opanda pake. Koma kumbukirani kuti kukambitsirana nkhani kumakhala kovuta kwambiri, m’pamenenso mumafunika kukambirana. Mabanja ambiri amakhazikitsa malire abwino pankhaniyi ndikupulumutsa mikangano yambiri komanso ndewu zamtsogolo.

Kambiranani mwatsatanetsatane nkhani ngati izi:

• Kodi mungafune kukumana ndi achibale anu kangati?
• Ndi maubwenzi otani omwe nonse mumamasuka nawo?
• Zomwe mukuyembekezera ndi zolephera, ndi zotani ubale ndi apongozi mukuyembekezera?

Chitsanzo: “Amayi anga ali okha ndipo ndikufuna kukumana nawo osachepera kawiri pamwezi. Sindikuyembekezera kuti muzindiperekeza nthawi zonse koma sindikufunanso kuphonya maulendo anga.”

13. Malire amalingaliro m'banja

Ndife anthu omwe ali ndi katundu wathu wamalingaliro ndi zolephera. Ngakhale kukhala ndi zibwenzi m'moyo wanu kumatha kukhala kosavuta komanso kuchiritsa zowawa zambiri, kuyembekezera kuti okondedwa anu azichiritsana sikoyenera kapena kotheka.

Henry Cloud, katswiri wa zamaganizo yemwe ali ndi mabuku angapo okhudza malire muukwati , akunena molondola kuti malingaliro athu ndi athu. Ngati mnzathu wina akumva chisoni, mnzakeyo sangamve kuti ndi amene amachititsa chisoni chake. Okwatiranawo amatha kumvetsetsana bwino ndi momwe akumvera wina ndi mnzake koma ayenera kudziikira malire ndikudzikumbutsa kuti munthu amene akumva chisoni ndiye amene amachititsa kuti amve chisoni.

"Kutenga udindo pa malingaliro a wina ndi chinthu chosaganizira kwambiri chomwe tingachite chifukwa tikulowa m'dera la wina. Anthu ena ayenera kutenga udindo pa malingaliro awo," akutero Henry Cloud.

Chitsanzo: “Mukandibisala panja ndipo simukundimva kwa masiku ambiri, ndimadzimva ndekha. Ndikumvetsa ngati simukufuna kulankhula za vuto lanu, koma simungathenso kundibisala panja pa moyo wanu. Muyenera kundiuza nthawi yomwe mukufuna malo.”

14. Malire azachuma m’banja

Ndalama ndi mawu ena 'odetsa' omwe okwatirana safuna kulankhula. Chomwe sakudziwa ndichakuti njovu iyi m'chipindamo ndi yayikulu ndipo iyenera kukambidwa isanawononge chikondi chawo kwa wina ndi mnzake. Kaya ndi mabanja omwe mnzawo m'modzi amapeza ndalama kapena onse awiri, kulankhulana momveka bwino za zolinga za ubale wa ndalama monga okwatirana kuyenera kuchitika zinthu zikayamba kuipiraipira pakati pawo.

Mu kafukufuku wokhudza mabanja 100 omwe adalemba zolemba zawo pa dayari, adapeza kuti ndalama zitha kukhala chimodzi mwazovuta kwambiri komanso zowononga kwambiri pamikangano. Vuto lina ndilakuti zimawavuta kwambiri kukambirana za mavuto azachuma ndipo okwatirana nthawi zambiri amasiya nkhanizi.

Chitsanzo: "Ndi maloto anga kugula galimoto ndipo ndikufuna kusunga ndalama zogulira galimotoyo mwezi uliwonse. Ndidzasunga gawo la malipiro anga pambali."

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15. Malire akuthupi m’banja

Palibe amene amalowa muubwenzi ndi kuvomereza kuzunzidwa mwakuthupi ndipo komabe okwatirana ambiri, popanda zitseko zotsekedwa, amazunzidwa ndi kuzunzidwa kwakuthupi. Choncho, ngakhale izi zikumveka ngati malire aumwini odziŵika bwino, m’pofunika kuutchula, kuufotokoza momveka bwino, ndi kuwatsatira.

Malinga ndi kafukufuku waposachedwa , nkhanza za m'banja ndi zapakhomo zimakhudza anthu 10 miliyoni ku United States kokha. Ku US, akazi m'modzi mwa anayi ndi amuna m'modzi mwa asanu ndi anayi ndi omwe amachitiridwa nkhanza zapakhomo zomwe nthawi zambiri sizimanenedwa mokwanira. Kumbukirani kuti nkhanza zakuthupi siziyenera kuloledwa pa gawo lililonse la chibwenzi. Kuyambira kupotoza chala mpaka kukankhira mpaka kumenya zonse ndi zitsanzo za nkhanza zakuthupi.

Malire akuthupi, komabe, amapitilira chiwawa. Ngati simuli munthu amene amakonda kusonyeza chikondi pamaso pa anthu koma mnzanuyo sangathe kukana kukupsompsonani pagulu, adziwitseni mmene mukumvera.

Chitsanzo: “Sindimasuka mukandipsompsona pamaso pa makolo athu. Ndikumva chisoni kwambiri. Chonde musachite zimenezo.”

Maganizo Olakwika Odziwika Pakukhazikitsa Malire Muukwati

Pokhala ndi chikhalidwe chochuluka komanso chikhalidwe cha mabanja, maanja nthawi zambiri amaona kuti kuika malire kwa wokondedwa wanu ndi inu nokha muukwati kumabweretsa chiwonongeko pa ubale wawo. Mfundo yakuti kudziŵitsa munthuyo nthaŵi zambiri ndiponso mosachedwa za malire oterowo kungabweretse tsoka. Malingaliro atatu olakwika omwe nthawi zambiri amalepheretsa anthu kutero ndi awa:

1. Kuika malire m’banja ndi kudzikonda

Ukwati uyenera kukhala wopanda dyera - kapena uyenera kukhala? Mnzawo yemwe nthawi zonse amayesetsa kuumba zosowa zawo ndi kuletsa zofuna zawo kwa winayo nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi mkwiyo komanso kusasangalala. Pokhazikitsa ndi kumvetsetsa malire, anthu awiri amasamalira malo awo omwe amatsogolera ku moyo waukwati wokhazikika.

2. Kuika malire ndiko kuuza munthu zochita

Zoona zake n'zakuti, malire abwino a ubale amachita zosiyana kwambiri ndi kuuza wina zochita. Malire ndi okhudza kusamalira zosowa zathu ndi kulemekeza umunthu wathu. Amakhudza momwe mumachitira pa vuto linalake osati momwe ena amachitira chimodzimodzi. Mwachitsanzo, m'malo monena kuti “Musandinyoze,” malire amatithandiza kunena kuti, “Mukamalankhula mokweza mawu, ndimamva kuti sindikulemekezedwa komanso ndimaopa.”

3. Malire amawononga ubale

Nthawi zina anthu amachita mantha poika malire paubwenzi. Amaona kuti pochita zimenezi akukankhira anzawo kutali ndi iwo ndi mndandanda wa zoyenera ndi zosayenera, koma zoona zake n’zakuti mukuthandiza mnzanuyo kudziwa mmene angakukondeni bwino ndi kuyandikira kwa inu.

Ngati achita bwino, malire a m’banja amalimbitsa ndi kulimbitsa unansiwo. Limapatsa mphamvu anthu aŵiri kukonda ndi kukondedwa, kulemekeza ndi kulemekezedwa. Choncho, ngati mukuona kuti simukunyozedwa kapena simukulemekezedwa kapena simukumvedwa m’banja mwanu, m’pofunika kukhala pansi ndi kukambirana nkhanizi. Lankhulani zapamtima ndi wokondedwa wanu ndikuyika malire ndikupanga zisankho zomveka bwino za mawu ndi zochita.

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