"Chinthu chowawa kwambiri ndikudzitaya nokha pokonda munthu kwambiri, ndikuyiwala kuti ndinu apadera."
Ernest Hemingway
Nthawi zambiri mumamva za kuledzera kwa mankhwala osokoneza bongo, kuledzera ndi kusuta fodya. Komabe, kodi munamvapo za maubwenzi osokoneza bongo? Tsoka ilo, maubwenzi osokoneza bongo ndizochitika zenizeni ndipo maanja angapo amakhalapo osazindikira.
Ndizovuta kuganiza kuti mungakonde munthu wina mpaka kukuvulazani komanso kudzikonda kwanu. Ingoganizani? Zimachitika, ndipo nthawi zina mochenjera kwambiri moti simukudziwa.
Tasonkhanitsa zizindikiro zina zosonyeza kuti muli paubwenzi wovuta, ndi momwe mungawazindikire.
Kodi Ubale Wowonjezera Ndi Chiyani?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Chibwenzi chosokoneza bongo ndi chimodzi chomwe mumakhudzidwa kwambiri ndi bwenzi lanu mpaka mumayamba kutaya chibwenzi. Zitha kuchitika ndi okondedwa m'modzi, kapena ndi onse awiri, koma mochulukirachulukira, omwerekerayo amasiya kudzisamalira okha komanso moyo wawo, ndikungokhalira bwenzi lawo komanso ubale wawo.
Sizosiyana ndi kukhala wokonda mankhwala osokoneza bongo kapena kulephera kuchita zinthu popanda kumwa mowa. Mwa kuyankhula kwina, mulibe umunthu wotsala, kupatula ubale wanu ndipo mudzayesetsa kuusunga, mosasamala kanthu za mtengo wake.
Momwe Mungadziwire Ubale Wosokoneza?
Kodi mumacheza ndi banja lomwe munthu m'modzi nthawi zonse amalamulira mnzake, ndipo mumangokhalira kukakamira ndewu zawo zosatha? Inde, umenewo ndi unansi wosokoneza.
Kuti mudziwe ubale womwe uli ndi chizolowezi, muyenera kuyang'anitsitsa momwe ubale wanu umakhalira. Kodi mnzanu nthawi zonse amakuyambitsani ndewu ? Kodi ubale wanu ukukubweretserani chisokonezo kuposa mtendere? Kodi nthawi zonse mumamva ngati mukufuna kuleka koma simungathe? Ngati mukuyankha mafunso awa, ndiye kuti mutha kuzindikira mosavuta ubale womwe uli ndi chizolowezi.
Ngati mukudabwa ngati mnzanuyo ali ndi vuto kwa inu, zomwe zikukukhudzani m'maganizo, kapena ngati mukumva kuti ndinu oledzeretsa kwa wokondedwa wanu, apa pali zizindikiro 13 za momwe mungadziwire maubwenzi osokoneza bongo.
1) Nthawi zambiri simumayenda pamadzi osalala
Zowona, ubale uliwonse uli ndi zokwera ndi zotsika. Komabe, ngati ubale wanu uli ndi zotsika kwambiri kuposa zokwera, ndiye kuti ndi chimodzi mwazizindikiro zodziwika bwino zaubwenzi wosokoneza.
Kukwiyira wokondedwa wanu komanso kukhumudwa ndi gawo lachilengedwe laubwenzi, koma ngati mikangano yanu ndi mikangano ikuwononga nthawi yonse yaubwenzi wanu, ndikukusiyani opanda malo oti mukambirane china chilichonse, ndiye mwatsoka, muli paubwenzi wosokoneza.
2) Simungasiye kuganizira za ubale wanu
Ubale umayenera kukhala mbali imodzi yokha ya moyo wa munthu. Chimodzi mwazinthu zazikulu zaubwenzi wosokoneza bongo ndikuti umakhala gawo lokhalo la moyo wa munthu. Kodi mukuwerenga izi ndikudziganizira nokha kuti izi ndi zomwe mumakumana nazo? Chabwino, ndiye, muli paubwenzi wosokoneza!
Muubwenzi wokonda zinthu zosayenera, mudzakhala mukudabwa kuti vuto lanu ndi lanji kwa inu ndi mnzanu . Simungathe kuyang'ana kwambiri pa china chilichonse. Moti mwina mwayamba kuchedwa pantchito yanu ndipo mwakhala mukulankhula za ubale wanu ndi anzanu. Zachidziwikire, palibe cholakwika ndi kulankhula ndi anzanu za izi, koma dziwani kuti ngati inuyo ndi zomwe mungathe kukambirana.
3) Ubale wanu umabweretsa mbali yanu yoyipa
Tengani kamphindi ndi kulingalira za mtundu wa munthu amene mulidi. Kodi ndinu munthu wokonda kuchita zinthu momasuka, womasuka komanso wokonda kuchita zinthu monyanyira? Tsopano ganizirani za mtundu wa munthu amene mwakhala ndi mnzanuyo. Kodi mukumva kuti mwakhala wowawa komanso wowongoka?
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Machenjezo 11 Zizindikiro za Ubale Woopsa
Zimenezi zinachitikira mnzathu wina dzina lake Joel. Iye anali munthu wochezeka kwambiri yemwe timamudziwa, moyo wa phwando lililonse. Tsoka ilo, chibwenzi chakecho chinamukwiyitsa kwambiri kotero kuti anasiya kupita kumaphwando ndipo pamapeto pake anakhala kutali ndi chisoni.
Ngati mukumva ngati izi zikukuchitikiraninso, ndiye kuti muli m'gulu la maubwenzi osayenera, ndipo muyenera kuthamangira mbali ina.
4) Ubale wanu umakupangitsani kukhala osakhazikika
Ngati muli ndi vuto laubwenzi wosokoneza bongo, ndiye kuti mumadziwa bwino za nkhawa komanso kukhumudwa pang'ono, pamlingo wina. Izi ndi zomwe maubwenzi osokoneza bongo amakuchitirani inu.
Kachitidwe ka maubwenzi okonda zinthu zoledzeretsa kangayambitse mavuto ambiri amaganizo , kapena kukumbukira zoopsa za ubwana, zomwe zingakupangitseni kumva kuti simukukondedwa komanso kuti simuli otetezeka. Zotsatira zake, ubalewu umakupangitsani kukhala osakhazikika komanso oda nkhawa nthawi zonse.
5) Mumadalira kwambiri mnzanu kuti mupeze chisangalalo
Ngati mukufunitsitsa chimwemwe kuchokera kwa wokondedwa wanu, kapena ngati mukuyesera kuti mumve chilichonse ndi mnzanuyo, ndiye kuti ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zazikulu za maubwenzi osokoneza bongo.
Komano, ngati muli okhumudwa m'moyo wanu ndipo mnzanuyo amakhala gwero lanu lokha lachisangalalo, ngakhale mutakhala ndi vuto laubwenzi. Zikatero, muyenera kuyesetsa kucheza ndi achibale anu ndi anzanu komanso kupeza chimwemwe nawo. Ngati simungathe, muyenera kuganizira kusankha chithandizo.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zizindikiro 11 Zosonyeza Kuti Muli mu Ukwati Wodalirana
Yang'anani, chikondi chikhoza kukhala chovuta, koma simuyenera kudzikakamiza kuti mumve chinachake kwa wokondedwa wanu, komanso sayenera kukhala gwero lanu lokhalo lothandizira maganizo.
6) Kudzidalira kwanu kwapita patsogolo
Kudziona kuti ndi wosafunika kwenikweni kumaonekera muubwenzi wokonda zinthu zosayenera osati chifukwa cha poizoni wochokera kwa wokondedwa wanu, komanso chifukwa cha mikangano yanu yamkati.
Kukwera kosalekeza kwa ubale wanu kungakupangitseni kudziona kuti ndinu opanda pake komanso osakondedwa, koma vuto lanu lofuna kusiya okondedwa wanu koma osatha kupangitsanso kudzidalira kwanu.
Kutsutsidwa ndi malingaliro olakwika kumakhudza kudzidalira kwanu, ndipo zimalankhula mozama za mawonekedwe a maubwenzi osokoneza bongo.
7) Mumasungulumwa ngakhale muli ndi winawake
Muubwenzi wosokoneza, zikuwoneka kuti palibe malo achikondi, kumvetsetsa ndi chifundo. Mwina ubwenziwo uli wodzaza ndi mikangano, kapena wadzaza ndi kukhala ndi chuma ndi kusadzidalira.
Muzochitika zonsezi, mumatha kukhala ndi malingaliro osiyanasiyana, malingaliro ndi kutalika kwa mawonekedwe kusiyana ndi mnzanuyo. Izi zikutanthauza kuti simungathe kugawana chilichonse ndi mnzanu. Tsoka ilo, zimakupangitsani kukhala osungulumwa, ndipo kusungulumwa ndi tanthauzo lachiyanjano cha liwu limodzi.
8) Mwatembenukira ku uchidakwa komanso kusuta
Chimodzi mwazinthu zomwe zimasokoneza kwambiri maubwenzi achikondi ndikuti zimakupangitsani kukhala okonda zinthu zina. Kudya mopambanitsa, kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo, kusuta fodya komanso uchidakwa nthawi zambiri zimayamba chifukwa cha kuipa kwa maubwenzi oledzera.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zinthu 5 Zomwe Zimandithandiza Kupirira Pamene Mnzanga Akusuta
Mwamuna wina dzina lake Kevin anali paubwenzi wosokoneza bongo. Chibwenzi chake chinam’sokoneza kwambiri moti anayamba kusuta. Zomwe poyamba zinali zongosangalatsa tsopano zidasanduka chizoloŵezi kwa iye.
Ichi ndi chizindikiro choipa kwambiri, chifukwa tsopano, mukuwonongedwa mwakuthupi, komanso kuwonongedwa m'maganizo ndi m'maganizo.
9) Mukunyalanyaza mbali ina iliyonse ya moyo wanu
Zokonda zanu zayima, simukuwona banja lanu mochuluka, simumapita kokacheza ndi anzanu. Kudzisamalira? Chimenecho ndi chiyani? Chabwino, sewero la maubwenzi osokoneza bongo ndi lotopetsa kwambiri kotero kuti palibe nthawi kapena mphamvu zotsalira za china chirichonse.
Ubale woledzera ndi wowononga kwambiri m'malingaliro, thupi ndi malingaliro, kotero kuti mumatha kunyalanyaza china chilichonse m'moyo wanu kupatula mnzanuyo.
10) Mumadandaula nthawi zonse ngati wokondedwa wanu amakukondani
Mukafika kumapeto kwa ubale wosokoneza bongo, mudzatha kugwirizana ndi izi. Kukhala mwamantha nthawi zonse kuti ataya wokondedwa wanu komanso kuti adzapeza wina wabwino kuposa inu ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za ubale wosokoneza.
Pamapeto pake, mudzadziona ngati wopanda pake ndikudikirira kuti mnzanuyo athyoke. Mudzadziimba mlandu pachinthu chilichonse chaching'ono, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kuti mnzanuyo azikhala nanu. Zinthu zikavuta kwambiri zisanachitike, dzipulumutseni kuti ubale wanu ukhale wovuta.
11) Mukuchita zinthu mokhumudwitsa
Charlotte anali paubwenzi wokonda chizolowezi choledzeretsa ndipo zimasokoneza thanzi lake. Popeza sanathe kupeza chifukwa chenicheni, anayamba kudzudzula aliyense. Nthawi zonse ankakwiya ndipo anzake anasiya kucheza naye.
Kodi mwayamba mwachisawawa kukalipira aliyense? Kodi mumadzipeza kuti mumakwiya komanso kukhumudwa nthawi zonse? Kodi mwakhala wamwano kwambiri komanso wopanda chifundo kwa aliyense chifukwa cha kukhumudwa kwanu?
Pepani chifukwa chakusokonezani, koma muli m'modzi mwa maubwenzi okondana omwe amasokoneza.
Izi zing'onozing'ono zochitira masewerawa zidzakhudza thanzi lanu lamaganizo. Tengani ichi ngati chimodzi mwazizindikiro zazikulu zaubwenzi wosokoneza ndipo tulukani nthawi yomweyo.
12) Muyenera kunamiza anzanu za mnzanu
Mukauza anzanu za ubale wanu wosokoneza bongo, ndiye kuti akulangizani kuti musiye. Monga momwe zilili ndi mtundu uliwonse wa kumwerekera monga mankhwala osokoneza bongo ndi mowa, maubwenzi oledzera amabisikanso kwa mabwenzi ndi achibale.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zoyenera Kuchita Munthu Akanama Mu Ubwenzi
Mudzayesa kuti mnzanuyo aziwoneka bwino pamaso pa anzanu ndi achibale anu, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti muyenera kuwanamiza za makhalidwe oipa a mnzanuyo komanso momwe ubalewu ulili woipa. Izi zikutanthauza kuti ndinu ozunzidwa ndi amodzi mwa maubwenzi okondana omwe amasokoneza.
13) Simungathe kuchoka pachibwenzi, ngakhale mutayesetsa bwanji
Njira yothetsa chibwenzi ndi yodziwika bwino kwa inu. Izi ndichifukwa choti simungatuluke m'mayanjano anu osokoneza bongo. Mutha kupanga zisankho zolimba pankhani ina iliyonse m'moyo wanu, koma izi zimakupangitsani kukhala wopanda mphamvu komanso wopanda mphamvu.
Ngati mwasiyana , posachedwa mudzabwererananso ndipo mudzamva ngati wokondedwa wanu wakupulumutsani kuti musagwere m'malo oipa. Mumamva mantha mukamasiyana ndi munthuyo komanso nkhawa mutatha kuyanjana naye.
Pankhaniyi muli pachibwenzi choopsa kwambiri ndipo muyeneradi kufunafuna chithandizo kuti mudzipulumutse ku chisoni cha zaka zambiri.
Ngati simungaleke kuganiza za ubale wanu ndipo chimwemwe cha mnzanuyo chakhala chofunikira kwambiri kuposa chanu, ndiye kuti muli pachibwenzi chosokoneza bongo. Nthawi zambiri, palibe kubwereranso ku ubale wosokoneza bongo, chifukwa chake, njira yabwino ndiyo kuchoka.
Ngati simungathe kusiya chizolowezi chosokoneza bongo, funani chithandizo nthawi yomweyo ndikudzipulumutsa. Tikukhulupirira kuti mwapanga chisankho choyenera!
Ibibazo
Kuledzera kwamtundu uliwonse sikwabwino. Kungakhale kuledzera kwa khofi, malo ochezera a pa Intaneti, kusuta, kapena kuledzera kwa munthu. Palibe chomwe chili chathanzi. Mosadabwitsa, maubwenzi osokoneza bongo ndi oyipa kwambiri kwa inu komanso okondedwa anu.
Ngati mukumva kuti mwakonda bwenzi lanu kapena mnzanuyo ali ndi vuto kwa inu, yambani kuchitapo kanthu mwamsanga.
Njira yokhayo yopulumutsira maubwenzi osokoneza bongo ndikugwira ntchito molimbika pa zizolowezi zosokoneza bongo, kapena kufunafuna chithandizo kuchokera kwa akatswiri azachipatala. Nthaŵi zambiri, anthu samazindikira kuti ali okondana kwambiri ndi munthu wina kapena ali mikhole ya maubwenzi osokoneza bongo. Ngati mukuzizindikira, pitani kwa dokotala ngati mukufuna kuchira.
Chinthu choyamba ndicho kupanga chosankha cholimba. Choipa kwambiri chokhudza kumwerekera ndi chakuti simungathe kuchichotsa mosavuta. Ngati mukufuna kusiya chibwenzi chanu chosokoneza bongo, pangani chisankho cholimba. Funsani anzanu ndi achibale anu kuti azitsatira. Ngati zikuwoneka zosatheka, pitani kwa katswiri wazachipatala ndipo adzakutsogolerani panjira yoyenera yochoka.
Mkazi Wanga Ndi Okonda Kugonana Ndipo Zasokoneza Ubale Wathu
Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
