Indlela Yokulungisa Ubudlelwano Lapho Umuntu Elahlekelwa Imizwa - Amathiphu Anconyiwe Ochwepheshe

Ubudlelwano wumdanso wama-ebbs nokugeleza okuphindaphindayo. Lokhu kubikezela kuyaduduza kakhulu - ukwazi ukuthi impi ngayinye izolandelwa ukulandelana okude kothando nokuqonda. Kodwa kuthiwani uma kungekho ukulwa? Kuthiwani uma isipelingi sokuthula nebanga sesithathile, futhi kungekho mizwa esele ebuhlotsheni? Yini-ke okufanele uyenze? Indlela yokulungisa ubuhlobo lapho umuntu elahlekelwa imizwa?

Nawe kungenzeka ukuthi uke wazibuza:

• Kungani ngizizwa ngingasathandi?
• Ingabe kungokwemvelo ukulahlekelwa imizwa ngomlingani wakho?
• Ingabe imizwa elahlekile ingabuya?
• Ngibusindisa kanjani ubudlelwano bami obungaphumeleli?

Lokhu cwaningo eyahlola “okuhlangenwe nakho okuphilayo kokuphuma othandweni lothando” ithi “ukwehla kancane kancane kobuhlobo ekuqaleni kwabangelwa iqoqo lezinguquko ezicashile, ezicishe zingabonakali ebuhlotsheni.

Sithatha usizo lokwelulekwa kwesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo kanye nomcwaningi Megha Gurnani (MS Clinical Psychology, UK), njengamanje uphishekela ompetha bakhe besibili kusayensi yezengqondo yenhlangano e-USA, ogxile kwezobudlelwano, ukukhulisa izingane, kanye nempilo yengqondo, ukuze aphendule le mibuzo engenhla. U-Megha ulapha ukuze anikeze amathiphu okuthi ungasindisa kanjani ubudlelwano bakho obudonsa kanzima.

Yini Edala Ukulahleka Kwemizwa Ebudlelwaneni?

Ngokocwaningo olushiwo ngenhla, “izici eziyimbangela yokuhlukana kothando nomuntu oshade naye ukugxeka, izingxabano ezivamile, umona, ukucindezeleka ngokwezimali, izinkolelo ezingahambelani, ukulawula, ukuxhashazwa, ukuphelelwa ukwethembana, ukuntula ukusondelana, ubuhlungu obungokomzwelo, ukuzicabangela kabi, indelelo, ukuzizwa ungathandwa, ukwesaba, nokungathembeki.”

Ukulahlekelwa imizwa ebuhlotsheni cishe akukaze kwenzeke ngokuzumayo. Kuyaduma ngokuhamba kwesikhathi njengoba ozakwethu benganaki amafulegi abomvu futhi impilo yobudlelwano ithatha isihlalo esingemuva. Ekhomba imbangela yako eyinhloko, uMegha uthi, “Abantu baqala ukuphelelwa isithakazelo lapho benganelisekile noma bephoxwa ngokuphindaphindiwe.” “Ngokuphindaphindiwe” okuyigama eliyisihluthulelo lapha.

Uyanezela: “Uqala ukulahlekelwa imizwa lapho uba nezinto eziningi ezimbi kakhulu ngokulandelana kwazo futhi kuba nzima ngawe ukuba ube nokholo. Uma uzizwa unqatshiwe ngokuphindaphindiwe futhi uthathwa kalula ngumlingani wakho, kuyaqondakala ukuthi kungani ungaqala ukuhoxisa ngokomzwelo futhi uzizwe sengathi uxhumano lulahlekile.

Esinye isizathu esenza abantu balahlekelwe intshisekelo ebudlelwaneni lapho bebona ukuthi kunokungqubuzana okukhulu ezimisweni zabo. Ngokufanayo, uma imigomo nezindlela zabo zesikhathi esizayo zihluka kakhulu, umuntu angase aqale ukuzizwa elahlekile ebuhlotsheni futhi kancane kancane anqamule.

Kodwa-ke, into eyodwa ebalulekile ukuthi uyiqaphele lapha ukuthi bonke ubudlelwano budlula ezigabeni lapho uthola khona ukhululeke kakhudlwana futhi uzizwe ungenalo intshisekelo kunangaphambili. U-Megha ukweluleka ukuthi ungenzi iphutha ukuphela kwesigaba sakho se-honeymoon ukuze ubudlelwano bakho buphele. “Uma izinga eliphezulu lemizwa oba nalo usaqala ubudlelwano liyancipha kancane njengoba impilo iqhubeka, lokho akusho ukuthi usuqala ukulahlekelwa imizwa,” usho kanje.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: 9 Imiphumela Yokungabelani Nocansi Akekho Okhuluma Ngayo

Wazi Kanjani Uma Ulahlekelwa Imizwa Ngothile?

Umuzwa wokuhlukaniswa ngokomzwelo ungabonakala ngezindlela okungaba lula kuwe ukuzibona. U-Megha ukweluleka ukuthi uqaphele uma usuqalile ukubona okulandelayo ikhombisa ukuthi wena noma umlingani wakho niphelelwa yintshisekelo ebudlelwaneni bakho:

1. Ubona sengathi awusamethembi umuntu wakho

Lezi ezinye zezimpendulo ezivela kubahlanganyeli ababelana ngolwazi lwabo 'lokuphelelwe uthando' ocwaningweni okukhulunywe ngalo ekuqaleni kwalesi sihloko.

• “Lokho kuphelelwa ukwethemba khona sekunciphise konke, uma ngingakwethembi angifuni ukuba nalobo budlelwano nawe”
• "Manje ngibuza yonke into"
• “Lapho nindawonye nje (ngaphandle kothando lothando), futhi ungase ube nalowo muzwa wenduduzo, kodwa ungathembeki.

Ukulahlekelwa ukwethenjwa kungenzeka ngezindlela ezimbili. A. Njengesitsha se-china esihle esiphonswe phansi. B. Njengendawo encane ecwebezelayo kuwindi langaphambili lemoto yakho owazibe izinyanga eziningi futhi wayishayela, wayivumela ukuba ibhekane nomoya ongemuhle. Usuku nosuku, yayikhula ibe umfantu wonke yaze yaphihlika ngokuphelele.

Cabanga ngesokuqala njengesigameko esibuhlungu, esibuhlungu, isibonelo, othole mayelana neyakho indaba yozakwethu. Futhi okwesibili yilezo zithembiso ezincane ezingenakubalwa umlingani wakho abelokhu ephula - ukungabonisi ngesikhathi, ukungalandeli ukuxolisa, ukungagcini izwi labo. Akumangalisi ukuthi unomuzwa wokuthi awusakwazi ukuncika kubo, okubangela ukuba uhoxe.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Lapho Uhamba Ngemva Kokuhamba Ukungathembeki: Izimpawu Eziyi-10 Okufanele Uzazi

2. Uzizwa kufanele uhlunge imicabango yakho

Ingabe uzizwa sengathi kufanele uhlale ukuhlunga lokho okushoyo kubo? Ukuthi awukwazi ukuphumela obala kubo ngalokho okucabangayo nokuzizwayo? Ingabe kukhona ukulahlekelwa ukuzwana kulokho okucabangayo, okushoyo, nokwenzayo ebuhlotsheni bakho?

Kungenzeka ukuthi wena nophathina wakho anikakhi ishaneli yokuxhumana engenakwahlulela nethembekile noma umlingani wakho ukunikeze izizathu zokwesaba imicabango yakho. Umuntu uxhumeka kanjani ngokomzwelo lapho kune-block esiteshini sokuxhumana?

Uma ukhathazekile ngendlela yokulungisa ubuhlobo lapho umuntu elahlekelwa imizwa, khumbula lokho ukuntuleka kokuxhumana okuvulekile iwukubola esisekelweni sobambiswano futhi izovela ngokuphindaphindiwe ngezindlela eziningi.

3. Ukuthola kungakhululeki ukusondelana nesithandwa sakho

The cwaningo okukhulunywe ngakho ngenhla kuchaze okuhlangenwe nakho kokulahlekelwa imizwa ngomngane wakho womshado “njengomuzwa wokuwa. Njengoba umuntu ewa akukho ukuzilawula, akukho ndlela yokuma. Isikhathi esibalulekile sokwazi siwukuma kungazelelwe, kungazelelwe lapho umuntu eshaya phansi. Kulandelwa "okungenalutho, okungenalutho, ukuphuka."

Uma ozakwethu bengacushiwe ngenothi elifanayo, okuphumayo umsindo, hhayi umculo. Ukuqhelelana ngokomzwelo nomlingani wakho, ungase ukuthole kunzima ukuxhumana naye ngokomzimba nangokwengqondo.

U-Megha uthi, “Izingxoxo phakathi kozakwethu abanqanyuliwe zivame ukukha phezulu.” Kuphakathi kokuthi ubhekene nesimo esomile ebudlelwaneni bakho, noma izikhathi zokusondelana ngokomzimba uzizwa ungenele, noma ungafunwa. Ngokulahlekelwa kwengqondo kanye ukusondelana ngokwengqondo, ukuthola kunzima ukuvula.

4. Uzizwa ungakhululekile uma unabo

Ngophathina ozizwa uhlukene naye, ababili abaseyona inkampani, sebeyisixuku. Ukuthola kunzima ukwabelana ngesikhala esifanayo, futhi uhlezi uzama ukukhohlisa uhlelo lwakho ukuze ungahlali nabo kakhulu.

Nobabili aninalutho eningabelana ngalo, aninazinhlelo enizozibheka phambili. Umlingani wakho angase angazami ngokuqaphela ukwenza impilo yakho ibe lusizi, kodwa uma kunokunqamuka kwemizwelo, i-vibe ekhaya lakho ngokuvamile izobe ivaliwe. Njengoba isisho sesiShayina sisho, “Ngomngane ovamile, amathosti ayinkulungwane ambalwa kakhulu; enkampanini engathandeki, igama elilodwa ngaphezulu liningi kakhulu.”

5. Awuzizwa okunye okuningi

"Ngisho noma uthukuthelele umlingani wakho ngokukudumaza, isekhona imizwa esele ebudlelwaneni. Kodwa uma ukhulume ngokuphindaphindiwe ngezidingo zakho, kodwa umlingani wakho engazange abonise umzamo wokukulungisa, ufinyelela esigabeni lapho ungazizwa lutho", kusho uMegha.

Noma kunguwe ozizwa ukhululekile, ukuziphatha kwakho kubo kungase kuncike ekuhlukunyezweni ngokomzwelo futhi ngeke ukwazi ukuphunyuka. imiphumela engokomzwelo yokushaywa ngamatshe. Uma udumazeke kangangokuthi uzizwa udidekile kumlingani wakho, yilapho uyazi ukuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle futhi ubuhlobo bakho obufa budinga ukungenelela ngokushesha.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izizathu Ezingu-5 Ezenza Ukusondelana Phakathi Kwabashadikazi Kufiphale nokuthi Ungakuvimba Kanjani

Amathiphu angu-13 Okubuyisela Imizwa Elahlekile Futhi Ulondoloze Ubudlelwano Bakho

Izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo ziye zagcizelela ngokungaguquki indima "yokulungisa" ebuhlotsheni. UDkt John Gottman encwadini yakhe ethi The Science of Trust uthi bobabili abalingani ebudlelwaneni batholakala ngokomzwelo kuphela u-9% wesikhathi, okusho ukuthi, ngandlela thile, sonke simiselwe ukwehluleka. Kodwa ubudlelwano obuningi buyachuma, okusho ukuthi ukunqanyulwa akubalulekile ekunqumeni ikusasa lobudlelwano benu njengoba kwenza ngalolo lwazi.

Akulahleki konke noma uthola ukuthi sekuke kwaba nokulahlekelwa imizwa phakathi kwakho nesithandwa sakho. Uma usuzibonile izimpawu zokuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle, usuvele usithathile isinyathelo sokuqala sokulungisa ubudlelwano benu. Funda kusengaphambili ukuze uthole iseluleko sochwepheshe bethu bokuthi wenzeni buyisela inhlansi ebudlelwaneni obuphukile.

1. Zindla ngemizwa yakho

Lapho ebuzwa ukuthi bulungiswa kanjani ubuhlobo lapho umuntu elahlekelwa imizwa ngomlingani wakhe, u-Megha utusa ukubekezela. Uthi: “Ungathathi izinto ngokuxhamazela noma ufinyelele esiphethweni esiphelelwe ithemba. Eminye imibuzo ongazibuza yona ukuze ukhiphe i-alamu engamanga yilena:

• Ingabe lokhu engikuzwayo ukuphela kwesiteji sethu se-honeymoon?
• Ingabe ngizizwa ngidumazekile ngohlelo olusha lokuphila?
• Ngingawubeka nini lo muzwa esikhathini esedlule? Ingabe kube khona isigameko esibuhlungu?
• Ingabe ngizizwa ngihlukanisiwe nobunye ubudlelwano, noma umsebenzi?

2. Zindla okwedlule ukuze uthole ukuhlaziya okuhlosiwe kobudlelwano bakho

U-Megha weluleka ukuthi ubheke emuva ezikhathini ezinhle ukuze ungalahlekelwa umbono ngesilinganiso somonakalo. Ngezikhathi zobunzima, abantu bavame ukwehla, bakhohlwe izikhathi ezimnandi. “Bekungenjalo ngaso sonke isikhathi” kungaba inkomba ewusizo yokuthola umsuka wenkinga. Kuphinde kukwenze ube sesimweni esingcono somqondo ukubhekana nenkinga.

Umgomo ubalulekile ekulawuleni ukungqubuzana. Lokhu ngokujulile isifundo sezemfundo eyanyatheliswa kuyi-Journal of Family Psychology mayelana nemiphumela yemfanelo (echaza imbangela yomphumela) ezingxabanweni zomshado ibonisa ukuthi imibhangqwana ehlanganisa izinto ezingalungile, esikhundleni sokuzenzela yona, ivame ukujabula ebudlelwaneni bayo. Ukufuna umgomo wakho kungase kukusize uthole umsuka wangempela wezinkinga zakho.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: 8 Amasu Okuxazulula Ukungqubuzana Ebudlelwaneni Abacishe Basebenze

3. Thola umbono womuntu wangaphandle ngokukhuluma nabantu abakwaziyo nobabili

Enye into ongayenza ukuze ufune inhloso wukukhuluma nabantu abakwaziyo nophathina wakho, nababubonile ubudlelwano benu eduze. UMegha uthi, "Ngezinye izikhathi, lapho sisesimweni esijulile kakhulu, eside kakhulu, kuba nzima ukuba nenhloso."

Umuntu wangaphandle, - oqaphelayo - oyifisela okuhle, angakusiza ukuthi ubone ukuthi umlingani wakho ubekude yini ngoba unezinye izibopho okufanele azinakekele, noma yena ngokwakhe izinkinga zempilo yengqondo njengokucindezeleka nokukhathazeka, noma okuthile okungakusiza ukuba ukhulume nabo ngokuzwela.

UMegha uyacacisa, nokho, “Angizami ukushumayela ithemba lobuthi lapha ngokukuphoqa ukuthi ubheke okuhle uma kungekho. Umbono uwukuba nomgomo ukuze ukwazi ukuba neqiniso lapho ubuhlobo bumi khona.”

4. Khuluma nomlingani wakho

Iba nengxoxo. UMegha uthi, “Kunezingqimba ezihlukene zemizwa yothando. Batshele noma yini ongayizwa. Batshele ukuthi awuzizwa yini ukhangwa ngokobulili noma uma uzizwa unganakekelwa. Batshele uma unomuzwa wokuthi ubalulekile ekuphileni kwabo.” Uma nawe ubuzicabangela wena, “Yini okufanele uyenze lapho othile elahlekelwa imizwa ngawe?”, sizokucela ukuba wenze okufanayo - khuluma nomlingani wakho ngakho.

Kodwa u-Megha uphakamisa ukuthi usebenzise 'Mina', esikhundleni sokuthi 'wena'. Ngakho-ke, esikhundleni sokuqala ngokuthi, “Uyangisusa”, zama ukuthi “Bengizizwa ngikude.” Uyanezela, “Awufuni ukuzitika ukugxeka futhi uqale ingxabano lapho ufuna izixazululo. Yazi imizwa yakho, khuluma ngayo.”

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Imibuzo Engama-35 Yokubuza Umyeni Wakho Ukuze Uxoxe Ngenhliziyo Ngenhliziyo

5. Phinda uvakashele izinto ezake zakuxhumanisa

"Njengezithandani kufanele ukuthi nenza izinto esikhathini esidlule ezanenza nisondelane. Zamani ukuba nethuba futhi kuzo," kusho uMegha. Cabanga ngezinsuku oye kuzo kaningi. Ingabe ukujabulele ukuya kumamuvi ngesikhathi udlula, noma benibathandi betiyetha? Umkhuba ojabulisayo, ingoma, umsebenzi, noma yini ezokwenza uzizwe usekhaya nozakwenu kufanelekile ukuthi uyenze futhi.

Lokhu kuzophinde kunciphise isithukuthezi ebudlelwaneni. Lolu cwaningo olunzulu cwaningo eshicilelwe ku-Psychological Science njenge 'Isithukuthezi Somshado Manje Sibikezela Ukwaneliseka Okuncane Ngemva Kweminyaka Eyisi-9' kubonisa ukuthi isithukuthezi sanamuhla sihlobene kanjani ngokuqondile nokunganeliseki kwakusasa ekuhlanganyeleni kwezothando. Lokhu kubonakala kubangelwa “isithukuthezi esicekela phansi ukusondelana, okubuye kuthuntubeze ukwaneliseka.” Ukwengeza, ungazama izinto ezintsha ukuze ubuyisele inhlansi.

6. Gcina ukuxhumana kuvulekile

Ingabe imizwa elahlekile ingabuya? Bangakwazi. Ngemuva kokuthi "ube nenkulumo", zibophezele ekugcineni isiteshi sokuxhumana sivulekile. Lena ingxenye lapho wenza khona umsebenzi oyisisekelo wangempela. Kungalokhu kusebenza kanzima kuphela lapho ungaba nesiqiniseko sokuthi wena nophathina wakho nitshale imali kangakanani kulolu hlelo.

Qiniseka ukuthi wenza lokhu okulandelayo:

• Thembisanani indawo ephephile yokukhuluma ngemizwa yenu
• Bonisa ukwamukela imibono yomunye nomunye ku ubudlelwano busebenza kanjani
• Ningavimbi ngamatshe noma nivalelane ngaphandle
• Ningayichithi imizwa yomunye nomunye. Akhulume omunye

7. Zibambeni niziphendulele kanye nomunye

Ukuze uvumele ushintsho lwangempela, kufanele unikele ngobuqotho bakho bonke ekwenzeni izinto zisebenze. Lokhu kusho ukwamukela isabelo sakho somthwalo wemfanelo. Uphathina wakho uzoba nohlangothi lwakhe endabeni okudingeka ukulungele ukulwazi nokulalela, ukuze uzibophezele ekushintsheni.

Njengoba usuvele uvuma ukuthi ulahlekelwe imizwa yothando ngomlingani wakho, kufanele ukuthi kubonakale ekuziphatheni kwakho. Ingabe ubulokhu ujikijela umlingani wakho ngamatshe, umxoshe, umhlukumezile, umthethise, umvikela, umsola? Ukuziphendulela ebudlelwaneni kubaluleke kakhulu njengoba kuvumela umuntu ukuba aqaphele ukuziphatha kwabo futhi enze izinguquko.

Ngesikhathi esifanayo, nikezana imvume yokuphatha omunye nomunye. Zibekeleni imigomo ndawonye futhi wazise ngomusa ozakwenu lapho ephambuka endleleni. Yiba nesineke futhi usekele kule nqubo.

8. Zijwayeze ukubonga nokwazisa

Bala izibusiso zakho, bathi. Izifundo ze-positive psychology zigcizelela kakhulu ukubonga nokwazisa. Cabanga ngalokhu cwaningo ephetha ngokuthola kwayo, “(…) isimo sokubonga sasihlobene ngokuphawulekayo nesimo somuntu sokubonga kanye nesimo sengqondo sokubonga somngane womshado, kokubili okwakubikezela ukwaneliseka komshado.”

Ukubhala phansi izinto obonga ngazo kungakubeka esimweni esingcono somqondo. Ucwaningo luthole ukuthi "imicabango-yokubonga ngokugcina idayari yokubonga yangasese iyodwa ibonakala yanele ukuletha imiphumela efiselekayo ekwanelisekeni komshado".

Qala ngohlu lokubonga. Kungase kungezwakali kungokwemvelo noma kulula ekuqaleni, kodwa kuzame njengomuthi obabayo. Ukwenza kube lula, gcina uhlu lwakho lujwayelekile ngaphambi kokuthi ulwenze lucace kakhulu ebudlelwaneni bakho. Lokhu kuzokwenza kube lula ukwazisa ngempela izinto ezisempilweni yakho, izinto ngomlingani wakho ongakwazi ukumncoma ngazo. Njengoba usesimweni sengqondo sokubonga, ukwazisa kwakho kuyoba okwangempela.

9. Zimisele ukwenza isivumelwano

Ngisho noma unezinhloso ezinhle, kungenzeka ukuthi umlingani wakho angase angakwazi ukulungisa yonke into abhekene nayo. Kungase kudingeke wenze ukuvumelana okuthile. Futhi, kufanele kanjalo nabo. Cabanga ukuyekethisa njengendlela yokuhlonipha imizwa yomlingani wakho hhayi ukuzidela ngeshwa.

Lokhu akusho ukuthi kufanele uvumele eyakho imingcele yemizwa inyathelwe nge. Kodwa kumelwe uzimisele ukuthola lokho kulinganisela. Yini le ofisa ukubambelela kuyo ukuze ujabule, futhi yini ongayidedela eyomngane wakho? Cabanga.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: 27 Izindlela Zokutshela Umuntu Uyamthanda Ngaphandle Kokusho

10. Hlala kude nemidlalo yengqondo

Ukwenza izinkulumo ezingamanga, ukuhlola ubuqotho bomlingani wakho, ukugcina ithebhu kumaphutha akhe, ukulinda ukuthi enze amaphutha, ukushaya amahlathi kuyimibono embi kakhulu. Uma ungafuni ukuba ubuhlobo bakho buphele, kungani unethemba lokuthi ngeke uphumelele ukuze nje uzibonakalise ulungile?

Vele ube neqiniso ngezinhloso zakho. Zama ukusho ukuthi uzizwa kanjani, ngesikhathi esifanele. Yenza lokho othe uzokwenza. Futhi ugweme imidlalo yengqondo. Imidlalo yengqondo iyakhohlisa futhi inobuthi obusobala ebudlelwaneni.

11. Khulisa ukukhula komuntu ngamunye

Lapho usebenza ngesibopho sakho futhi, thatha isikhathi sokususa ingcindezi ebudlelwaneni bakho ngokugxila kuwena esikhundleni. Zitholele isikhathi. Funda ukuthi uzithande kanjani. Vakashela kabusha izinto zokuzilibazisa zakudala, noma abangani. Funa ukwelashwa. Zigcine kuwe izithembiso. Phatha umzimba wakho ngendlela efanele. Yidla kahle. Hambisa kaningi.

Lokhu ngeke kufane nesikhathi osichithe nawe ngokungafuni, uzizwa njengesisulu sesimo sakho. Kuzohluka kulokhu - umzamo oqotho wokuphulukisa ubuhlobo bakho nawe, ukugcwalisa isikhala esibuhlungu ngothando nesihawu.

Uma ubulokhu uthi, “Ngiphelelwa yimizwa ngesoka lami kodwa ngiyamthanda” noma “Kungani ngizizwa ngihlukanisiwe ngokomzwelo nentombi yami nakuba ngiyithanda?”, ukuchitha isikhathi nawe ngendlela eqondile kungakunikeza isikhala sokuzindla. Mhlawumbe zonke izidingo zakho zobudlelwane wumbono wesikhala nesikhathi.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Malini Ukwelashwa Kwabashadikazi?

12. Yakha kabusha ukwethembana

Ukulahlekelwa ukwethembana kuvame ukuba ngesinye sezimpawu ezigqamayo zobudlelwane obusezimeni ezinzima, futhi kufanele ululaphe. Sibhekane nokuthi ukwethenjwa okuphukile kubukeka kanjani ekuqaleni kwalesi sihloko. Ake sibheke izindlela ezimbalwa zokwakha kabusha ukwethembana okuphukile ebudlelwaneni. Nobabili kufanele nizinikele kulokhu okulandelayo:

• Bhekana nembangela ye ukwethenjwa okuphukile. Lungisa isibopho noma yikuphi lapho kungase kulele khona
• Uma kuyicala lokungathembeki ebudlelwaneni, funa ukwesekwa ngomelaphi ukuze unqobe le nselele
• Gcina izwi lakho. Yenza lokho othe uzokwenza
• Cela lokho okudingayo
• Nikeza umlingani wakho lokho akudingayo
• Dala ukuzizwisa okusha ukuze wakhe ukwethemba kabusha

13. Funa ukuqondiswa ngochwepheshe

Kuye ngokuthi umi kuphi ebudlelwaneni bakho kanye nempilo yakho engokomzwelo, lezi zinyathelo zingase zize zibe lula kuwe, noma zingase zikuqede amandla. Uma uzithola usazabalaza ngendlela yokulungisa ubudlelwano lapho umuntu elahlekelwa imizwa ngomlingani wakhe, ungakunqeni ukubonana nomeluleki oqeqeshiwe.

Umelaphi angakusiza ekuboneni inkinga futhi akunikeze isiqondiso. Uma udinga lolo sizo, nalu uhlu lwe-Bonobology's ithimba labeluleki abanolwazi ongakweluleka ngezindlela zokulungisa izinkinga zobudlelwano bakho. Ungaya kubo ngeseshini ngayinye noma izikhathi nozakwenu.

UMegha uyavuma ukuthi esikwelulekile kulula ukukusho kunokukwenza. “Kudinga ukuzikhandla okukhulu kunalokho okubonayo, ngoba lapho ucasukelwe othile, noma okubi nakakhulu, uzizwa sengathi awunandaba, awufuni ngempela ukuhlela ipikiniki naye, noma ukwazisa ukuthi basonge ilondolo,” usho kanje. Ngaphezu kwalokho, iningi lalesi seluleko lisebenza kuphela uma umlingani wakho evuma imizwa yakho futhi evuma ukusebenza nawe.

Kodwa njengoba ususithathile isinyathelo sokuqala, futhi kubukeka sengathi unendaba nokulahlekelwa imizwa ebuhlotsheni bakho, vele ubambelele kancane, isikhashana. Kungemva kokuzama kuphela lapho uzokwazi ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho buyafaneleka yini ukulondolozwa, noma uma kufanele uzilungiselele ukubuyeka. Okwamanje, thatha ukweqa ukholo nathi eceleni kwakho.

Umshado Wami Uyawa - Uchwepheshe Uphakamisa Izindlela Eziyi-13 Zokuwuguqula

"Umyeni Wami Utolika Kahle Konke Engikushoyo" - Amathiphu angu-17 Okukusiza

Izindlela Ezingu-25 Zokuba Umfazi Ongcono Futhi Uthuthukise Umshado Wakho

Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.

Bheka Inqubo Yethu Yokuhlela

Hlangana Nebhodi Lethu Lokubuyekeza

Yabelana Ngempendulo

Ithini impendulo yakho?

×

Eziwusizo Bika Iphutha Izincwajana zemininingwane

Hambisa